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  • Marriage Isn’t the Finish Line, Heaven Is

    Marriage Isn’t the Finish Line, Heaven Is

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    One of my oldest friends called me the other day to ask her how to “get from Point A to Point B” in her dating relationship. When I asked her what she meant, she said, “Marriage just seems so impossible. So far away. I’ve tried so many times to go from dating to marriage, and it fails every time. So how did you get there?”

    I could totally appreciate her question. It’s not uncommon in the world or the Church. In our culture that views marriage as the end-all-be-all, and relationships like performances, it makes perfect sense that she would wonder how to get to the “finish line.”

    But that’s when it dawned on me that marriage isn’t the finish line, heaven is! I laughed a little and told her, “I’m nowhere near Point B. When my husband and I are on our deathbeds, and we’ve managed to help each other stay close to God, then maybe that’s when I’d be nearing Point B. So, ‘succeeding’ in dating isn’t really the point, anyway.”

    If you’re single, and feeling much the same way as my friend, let me invite you to view marriage a bit differently. It will take the pressure off of you to “earn” marriage and help you see prospective spouses much more clearly.

    Let’s break this down:

    Why Marriage Isn’t the Finish Line

    There are many beautiful reasons that God created the gift of marriage.

    Support and partnership: “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” Genesis 2:18

    Companionship: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor… Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” Ecclesiastes 4:9

    Enjoyment and intimacy: “Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19

    There are, of course, many more. (Here is a great article on this topic where I got these ideas!)

    Ultimately, God uses marriage to continually refine our characters to be more like Jesus to help get us to heaven. It is his will that all of his children will come to repentance in order to be with him (2 Peter 3:9). And if you’ve been a Christian for any period, you understand the fight to stay repentant!

    So, one of the ways that God keeps us in his fold is through marriage. We see this in Ephesians 5:25-27: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”

    Marriage helps to make us holy. And that, fortunately, or unfortunately, does not happen the second we get married!

    Related: Why Did God Create Marriage in the First Place?

    Your Wedding Day Is Just the Beginning

    Every aspect of a thriving, healthy, godly marriage takes time. No matter how much you prepare for marriage in premarital counseling or otherwise, you don’t say “I do” as a perfect human being. Marriage is a long, refining process.

    About this refinement, John Eldredge has this to say in his and his wife’s book, Love and War: Finding the Marriage You’ve Dreamed Of, “We are, all of us, utterly committed and deeply devoted to our ‘style,’ our ‘way,’ our ‘approach to life.’ We have absolutely no intention of giving it up. Not even for love. So God creates an environment where we have to. It’s called marriage.”

    Marriage is a relationship where all your ugly character flaws are seen in full display. Where someone is finally around you long enough to notice that your ‘personality quirk’ is actually just selfishness, and it’s also where you have someone to share your daily victories with and who can point out how much you’ve grown, even when you can’t see it yourself!

    The point is that marriage is a process with one end goal in mind: Partnering with each other to live godly lives here and eternal lives in heaven.

    It would be such a shame if the wedding day was it, and all growth stopped after the cake was cut. If you had to look at your spouse and say, “Now what…?” But thankfully, God has the perfect plan.

    I explained to my friend that marriage is like a boat you both are paddling on, trying to get to the other shore. Yes, talking, dating, and courting brought you to the shore where you start this journey–but there’s still a lot of water between where you are and your final destination, where you’re both in heaven. The question is, are they a good rowing partner? Do you want them in that boat with you? Are they going to make getting to the other shore easier or harder?

    That, I think, is much more the purpose of dating. Not to succeed in your relationship so you can get married as the end goal–but that you feel confident enough with someone to start the journey towards heaven with them.

    What Should You Look for in a “Rowing” Partner?

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/g-stockstudio

    There are 1,000 different good things you could look for in a partner, but here is a good starting point and questions to ask yourself:

    God is at the center: Do you bring out the best in each other spiritually? Do you point each other to rely on God and not just each other? Do they teach you things about God explicitly and/or through how lovingly they treat you?

    You have lots of fun: Are you excited to see them? Do they make the mundane things in life feel more fun? Do you laugh or smile more when you are with them? Do they make the heavy things in life feel lighter?

    You trust their character: Do they genuinely apologize when they hurt you? Have you seen consistent growth in their character? Are they committed to improving their spiritual lives? Do they respect your boundaries?

    Communication is healthy: Do they listen to you without getting defensive, or apologize when they do get defensive? Do they consider you in what they do? Are you able to thoroughly work through conflict without resentment, even if you need outside help? Do they calm you when you discuss things, or do they make you feel more stressed?

    You’re good at partnering: Do you work together well when you have a common project? Do you respect each other’s opinions? Do you complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses? Do you see a future together where you’re both building toward something meaningful and Spirit-led?

    Each one of these aspects is crucial to not just getting to the other shore but enjoying life while you get there.

    Marriage is a wonderful, wonderful gift. But it is by no means the end goal. If it were, what would we need God for?

    Marriage shows us how much we need God to love us as unconditionally as he does. So before you hop into a boat with someone just because they make you feel good or will look good in your wedding pictures, consider how the rest of the journey will go. 

    And–likewise–if you’re standing at the shore with someone, but feel really confident in all of the above areas, pray to discern if God is looking at you, thinking, “What are they waiting for?” You don’t have to be perfect to get married or have to earn it.

    But remember, no matter if you get married or remain single, God is with you every step of the way to heaven.

    Photo credit: ©Unsplash/Pablo Heimplatz

    Kelly-Jayne McGlynn is a former editor at Crosswalk.com. She sees the act of expression, whether through writing or art, as a way to co-create with God and experience him deeper. Check out her handmade earring Instagram and Etsy for more of her thoughts on connecting with God through creative endeavors.

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    Kelly-Jayne McGlynn

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  • Life Path Number 3: What It Means For Your Job, Love Life & More

    Life Path Number 3: What It Means For Your Job, Love Life & More

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    In their relationships, life path 3s sensitivity and empathy shine alongside their zest for life and enthusiasm about everything. They make for compassionate and expressive lovers, though they do tend to be quite flirty and charming, so have to be careful not to lead anyone on with their quintessential friendliness.

    When they commit, they do appreciate a level of independence, so they’re not necessarily ones you’d expect to be clingy. However, they do place great importance on communication, and will prefer to talk things out than avoid difficult conversations.

    They can also deal with a certain level of insecurity and self-esteem issues, so they may require reassurance from their partners from time to time, but generally speaking, these is a life path that just wants to have fun and “enjoy the ride” with their partner.

    As far as numerological compatibility goes, 3s do best with other life path 3s, life path 6s, and life path 9s, and may also mesh well with life paths 1, 2, and 5.

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    Sarah Regan

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  • Libra & Cancer Compatibility: Love, Friendship & More

    Libra & Cancer Compatibility: Love, Friendship & More

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    Libra is ruled by Venus, the planet of love, which will harmonize beautifully with Cancer’s moon-ruled, ever-changing moods. This makes them feel emotionally secure in a way that they desperately need—Venus prefers to attract, and the moon enjoys reflecting.

    Cancer will intuitively make feel Libra wanted, and Libra will find the waxing and waning of Cancer’s vibrations enticing. These two planets both tap into feminine energy, which makes this pair’s exchanges filled with gentleness, sentiment, intuitiveness, and romance. 

    While there is much loveliness to be shared between them, there will be challenges regarding their shared Cardinal modality, which puts them in a square aspect.

    In my book, Sun Signs in Love, I explain that the square aspect happens when you are three signs away from your significant other, which creates a tricky, competitive, and vigorous atmosphere. The feel of this relationship usually leaves one or both partners requiring more from the other, and they’ll both need to be very conscientious not to unload their negativity on each other and create friction. There is so much to learn from this aspect, but it must be done in a supportive and constructive manner.

    While square pairs are faced with a challenging aspect, they also share something that is the same, which is their modality. Modality by definition means, “a particular mode in which something exists or is experienced or expressed.” In Cancer and Libra’s case, they both express themselves in the Cardinal modality.

    Cardinal signs are the natural born leaders of the zodiac. They are both self-starters and tend to give out a lot of energy by being assertive and influential. This can have them both wanting to take charge, but the way in which both of them do this is gentle, which can really make this a benefit more than a hindrance. 

    The trickiest part of combining this pair is their element. Libra is a freedom loving air sign, while Cancer is a deeply concentrated water sign. Air stirs, turns, and can cause waves in the water, but then quickly moves away giving the water no control. When water penetrates the air, it creates moisture and ignites the process of creating rain, which is needed for life and rebirth in which air has no control over.

    There is no choice or control over these things occurring in either of the elements, so it is better if water and air signs appreciate one another’s differences and individual energy. This boils down to the fact that there will need to be a lot of understanding and appreciation for one another’s differences, otherwise the lack of the ability to completely blend will be the caveat to this great love story. 

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    Desiree Roby Antila

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  • 10 Behaviors That Can Lead to Domestic Violence

    10 Behaviors That Can Lead to Domestic Violence

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    There have been disagreements, there has been name-calling. There have been times when things got broken, and even a time when someone got pushed into a wall. Tears and apologies followed, and things seemed better.

    But then there was a time when a threat was made. One party cringed as they heard the words they never thought they would hear. Then, one night when the kids were asleep, he put a knife to her throat. And oh, do I wish I could tell you it wasn’t true, but it was. She told me this herself.

    Please, I implore you. If you are in a relationship and you are seeing behaviors that are listed here, please get help. If you love someone, you want to help them. If you let destructive behaviors continue, you are not loving them. Don’t let fear stop you from doing what’s right.

    The woman I referred to? She was my sister, and I no longer have her because she waited too long to share what was happening.

    Please don’t let her story become yours. 

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Marjan Apostolovic

    Anne Peterson is a poet, speaker and the author of 14 published books. Her memoir, Broken: A story of abuse and survival. You can also receive her free eBook Real Love or check out her website here.

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    Anne Peterson

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  • 4 Ways Pornography Damages a Marriage

    4 Ways Pornography Damages a Marriage

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    Marriage is a sacred covenant created by God. He created men and women to be committed in their marriage until death do they part. This is not something to be taken lightly. We must be intentional daily to create a thriving marriage that glorifies God.

    Being a committed spouse means that we don’t allow our hearts, minds, or bodies to venture outside of the covenant that we have made.

    The Bible says in Hebrews 13:4 that marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

    Unfortunately, these laws are disregarded at every turn in our current culture. The world wants us to believe we can create our truth about marriage. But God created marriage laws to protect us. He desires for us to have thriving, committed marriages that reflect Him, which means fidelity and solid commitment to each other.

    Being in a committed marriage is becoming more and more difficult with the amount of pornography that is on display in multiple aspects. Billboards, movies, TV shows, magazines, and of course, the internet. The enemy is having a hay day with the number of inappropriate images infiltrating our minds.

    This can make it especially difficult to avoid the draw of pornography addiction. It is presented as normal and innocent when in reality, it is destroying lives and destroying families.

    Pornography addiction is an epidemic in our country. The damaging effects on marriages are devastating and harmful.

    Here are 4 ways that pornography damages a marriage:

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/PeopleImages

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    Heidi Vegh

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  • 10 Fight Tips That Actually Help Marriages Thrive

    10 Fight Tips That Actually Help Marriages Thrive

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    Fighting is intrinsic and self-taught. Fighting well, in a way that protects and builds our marriage, however, isn’t. And few of us have positive role models in this area. As a result, by the time we get married, most of us have developed a lifetime of destructive behaviors. To handle conflict well, we need to unlearn harmful conflict patterns and replace them with positive behaviors, and this takes time, perhaps even decades. But the more we practice fighting well, the easier it becomes to do so.  Through prayer, determination, and intentionality, we can learn to argue in such a way that our marriage comes out stronger.  

    Jennifer Slattery is a writer and international speaker who’s addressed women’s groups, church groups, Bible studies, and other writers across the nation. She’s the author of six contemporary novels maintains a devotional blog found at http://jenniferslatterylivesoutloud.com. She has a passion for helping women discover, embrace, and live out who they are in Christ. As the founder of Wholly Loved Ministries, she and her team partner with churches to facilitate events designed to help women rest in their true worth and live with maximum impact. When not writing, reading, or editing, Jennifer loves going on mall dates with her adult daughter and coffee dates with her hilariously fun husband. 

    Photo Credit: Pexels

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    Jennifer Slattery

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  • Kill Them with Kindness

    Kill Them with Kindness

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    “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body” (Proverbs 16:24 NLT).

    “Miss. Ginter is a hypocrite.” The survey form mocked me in the reflection of a glaring computer screen. 

    Despite the 140+ positive reflections of my class, I couldn’t shake that one comment: “Miss. Ginter is a hypocrite.”

    With just two days of school left for students, my heart sank. I tried so hard for one-hundred-and-eighty days to get one-hundred-and-fifteen sophomores to feel loved, valued, and seen in my class. And yet, one felt I was a hypocrite. That one took me to my knees.

    In between watching a film and passing out individual notes, I’d written for every student, I made an effort to make amends with this student. I didn’t know what I’d done wrong. In fact, I spent the entire year thinking they liked me and my class. But nevertheless, I wanted an answer to such a harsh critique. 

    With the courage and confidence I had left, I asked them to chat in the hallway.

    Clarity in Conversation

    “Is this about your end-of-the-year survey?” they questioned, crossing their arms as if they needed to defend themselves.

    “It is,” I spoke calmly. Offering a gentle smile. A peace offering. Anything to make this wrong, I’d supposedly committed, right. 

    “Well, I said you’re a hypocrite because you told us you didn’t believe in giving us a lot of homework, and yet I had homework often. I’ve been so stressed out because there’s too much work to do,” their anger became visible. A scornful scoul and clenched fists erupted. 

    After a nearly ten-minute conversation and apology (on my end), I sought to understand and hear them. To know what had upset them to the point that they would call me a “hypocrite.”

    The Power of Kindness

    I tell this story not for you to think ill of this student, or to feel remorse for me, but to illustrate a point. A point that Proverbs 16:24 illustrates beautifully. 

    Just a few minutes prior to chatting with this student, I gave them their individual note. Of course, I’d written it prior to reading that they believed I was a hypocrite, so it gleamed how proud I was of them. How dedicated I saw their attendance in Bible Study, how hard they worked, and how kind their constant disposition was. Trust me when I say that placing this note of kindness on their desk felt like pouring salt on an open wound. 

    But you know what? I would do it all over again.

    While I do not feel that I intentionally did this student wrong, nor do I feel they were accurate or honest in calling me a hypocrite, I can honestly say it’s probably a moment in my life that I will never forget. 

    Do You Care Enough?

    Although I often don’t care what other people think of me (in the sense of acknowledging that not everyone will like me, and that’s okay), I do care that the kids I teach see Christ in me (yes, I work in a public school, and yes, I still make it known). In fact, at the beginning and end of every school year, I directly state that I care more about each of them as individuals than I do about them as students in my class. And I genuinely mean that.

    Obviously, every teacher wants her students to succeed. If every student in my English class had an “A,” I’m sure the administration would be thrilled. So would I. But beyond academics, the life of a student is a life I have the opportunity to change. And more so, Christ can change them through me. 

    Many of you reading this post aren’t teachers. But I guarantee that you can relate in some way. Young adults are the next step of a new generation, and you better believe I will do anything I can (through Christ) to make them know that they are loved, chosen, safe, and cared for by Someone who died to know them.

    The Reward of Kindness

    About an hour after this difficult conversation with the student who called me a hypocrite, I felt better. Although I don’t think their view of me changed, I made it known that I was deeply sorry for hurting them and did indeed care about them and their future. And in a bittersweet turn of events, I received the following note in my inbox from a different student:

    “Miss. Ginter, I can truthfully say that I am so glad that I had you as my English teacher this year. In general, you can tell you’re a really good person, trustworthy, kind, and truly the best teacher any student could ask for. To be honest, I’m not really the best Christian; I’m not one at all. I used to be and I’m trying to get back to it. I can thank you for that. From the very beginning of the school year you told us you were a Christian and you can see that. You’re so alive in a way, more than I have seen anyone in a very long time. So I’ve started going to Church. I wanted to say thank you. I will never forget you.”

    *This note has been modified to protect the identity and privacy of my students.

    I held back tears. 

    “Thank you, God,” was all that could escape my lips. 

    It’s been a week since I read those two notes, but my heart still feels the same. I’m blessed and honored to teach the student who called me a hypocrite, and I’m blessed and honored to teach the one who said they’d never forget me. Both are young adults that walked into my classroom nearly a year ago, not knowing what the world would hold, and both are ones I still wish the greatest success as they grow and mature. 

    If I’ve learned anything in my four years of teaching, it would be this: 

    Teenagers won’t remember the stunning outfits you poised together every single day. 

    They will remember the days you came to class sick or you accidentally caught a book on fire and had to tell the principal. 

    Teenagers won’t remember the regulated assessments you were forced to give to measure high-quality student data or prepare them for the state test. 

    But they will remember the humor you used in making fun of yourself in preparing them along the way. 

    Teenagers won’t remember all the grammar, books, or vocabulary words you made them memorize, even as interesting or fun as you tried to make them.

    But teenagers will always remember the time you took out of your day to listen to them, whether it was for five seconds or five minutes. They will always remember the laughs you shared, the kindness you offered, and the love you endlessly gave, regardless of if they liked you or your class or not. 

    And why? Because any kindness, love, or laughter you’ve given them has come from the Source of life, love, and gratitude within you. We’re only able to give what we’ve already been given, so why would we hold back those immeasurable gifts?

    There have been times in my years of teaching that I’ve questioned a lot of things. I still want to write full-time, so spending all my energy teaching is exhausting most days. But while I’m in this season, I’m reminded of God and His faithfulness to me:

    In the gentle smiles. 

    In the shared laughs.

    In the small talk.

    In serious conversations.

    And even in the turds.

    Especially the turds who like to cause havoc on already challenging days. 

    Why? Because Christ died for me while I was still a sinner. And that means He died for each of these children too (most of whom probably don’t know Him). 

    So while I’m teaching, I will die to myself. I will die to the comments that are kind but also the ones that aren’t. Jesus “killed” His enemies with kindness, not out of spite, vengeance, or to grab the upper hand, but so they may someday partake in a relationship with Him. Why shouldn’t I be willing to do the same?

    Agape, Amber 

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Metkalova

    Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk, ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

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    Amber Ginter

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  • 7 Lessons My Dad Taught Me about Living Generously

    7 Lessons My Dad Taught Me about Living Generously

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    After my Dad passed away, I learned more about his generous heart. Although I experienced his generosity towards me growing up, it wasn’t until later in life I discovered more about his giving heart toward others. Dad followed Matthew 6:3-4: 

    He practiced his openhanded acts of kindness quietly. So when I say discovered, it was because he didn’t tell me or do it openly in a way for all to see or know, not even his immediate family. Instead, quietly and respectfully, behind the scenes, he gave in a way that uplifted, encouraged, and guarded the hearts of those he assisted. My Dad’s giving heart taught me about my heavenly Father’s generous heart. Growing up, I knew I could ask him for anything, and it taught me to understand I could ask God for anything, too. As John 14:14 explains, “You may ask Me for anything in My name, and I will do it.”

    Likewise, I didn’t ever have to be concerned my earthly Dad would give me anything but something wonderful, which taught me the same about my heavenly Father. “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?”  (Luke 11:11) The following are seven lessons my Dad’s tender-hearted giving taught me about living generously.

    1. Be respectfully generous.

    On the way to my future sister-in-law’s bridal shower, my parents and I found ourselves lost on the seedy side of Chicago on a dark, cold wintry evening. Yet, even in that situation, I witnessed my Dad treat a drunken man on the street with the utmost respect as he called him over to the car to ask for directions. 

    As a teenager, I questioned my Dad’s wisdom, praying silently in the backseat for God’s protection over us. However, the respectful way he spoke to that man made a long-lasting impression on me. My Dad showed respect towards others based on God’s love for them rather than society’s view of what they deserve. 1 Peter 2:17 reminds us, “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.”

    2. Be generous in helpfulness. 

    Even though I don’t know all the ways my Dad reached out to help others in very practical and impactful ways, I do know of a few. He once supplemented a young mother of eight’s income after her husband, who worked for my Dad, left her and their kids for another woman. He went the extra mile in his position as a hospital administrator, hiring a newly married young couple struggling to find jobs to work in housekeeping so that they could start their life together. Finally, he helped a young man having an awkward time moving into his place to live, providing him with an excellent job and benefits. My Dad didn’t just talk the talk; he walked the walk, helping others when it was in his ability to do so. He lived out what Hebrew 13:16 encourages, 

    “And to not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” 

    3. Be quietly generous. 

    My Dad bought groceries for those who had little, took people out to eat, gave away cars, and more things I probably haven’t heard about yet. He was quietly generous, and my discoveries about his giving came from others who told me how he had helped them. Dad lived out 2 Corinthians 9:11-12: “You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us, your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God.”

    4. Be mercifully generous. 

    Dad didn’t seem to give based on whether or not individuals seemed deserving of receiving it. Instead, he gave when he saw a need, realizing God offers salvation to the undeserving, which is all of us. Romans 5:2 discusses how, because of our faith, Christ has brought us into a place of undeserved privilege where we now stand and confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. As James 2:13 reminds us, with God, mercy triumphs over judgment.

    5. Be generous in serving. 

    God goes out of His way to help the broken, the weary, and the downcast. He helps those who can’t help themselves because of physical or emotional limitations. Even though people may look down on those who are weak, God is compassionate toward them. Isaiah 40:26 explains, 

    “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

    My Dad’s heart expressed this compassion towards others. He understood and modeled God this way to those who needed help, consciously assisting people who others might say could have helped themselves. People sometimes don’t know how to be on their own, but with the loving support of others, uplifting and encouraging them, they can learn how to walk through the process. Dad seemed to understand and follow God’s example, as in Jeremiah 31:25, “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” 

    6. Be generous in loving others. 

    Most of all, my Dad loved people out of the love he received from his heavenly Father. Growing up under a harsh earthly father, he didn’t learn to love through him but through God’s love for him. 1 John 4:19 describes how this happens, “We love because He first loved us.” 

    Dad didn’t underestimate the influence God gives us. Through loving others, we can lead individuals to reconciliation with Him. 2 Corinthians 5:20 reminds us, “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.” My Dad chose to love others; it was a joy and privilege for him to do so, not a burden. He lovingly practiced Romans 13:8, “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.”

    7. Be generously compassionate. My Dad helped people who didn’t have anything to offer him in return. They were primarily individuals seeking to begin, start over, struggle through, or finish up in life. He taught me to make sure my heart is right when doing things for others, not expecting something in return but doing it unto the Lord. He lived out, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Colossians 3:17). Dad demonstrated God’s heart, as described in Luke 14:13, “But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/FredFroese

    Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.

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    Lynette Kittle

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  • 5 Ways to Love Your Pregnant Wife

    5 Ways to Love Your Pregnant Wife

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    My husband and I waited nearly a decade for the Lord to bless us with a child. It was a long wait and a total surprise! No matter how much a baby has been prayed for or wanted, there’s no way around the profound ways pregnancy and having a baby change the marriage relationship! Many of the changes are wonderful! Some of those changes are wonderful but sort of like a refining furnace for your relationship.

    As you prepare for a new member to join your family, here are five ways you can love your wife during this time in her life.

    1. Commit Time to Daily Prayer for Your Family

    “Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife.” Genesis 25:21

    As the spiritual leader of the household, the husband has a unique role that no one else can fill. Scripture says that a husband has a spiritual place of covering over his wife and family (1 Corinthians 11:3), so your prayers for your family are uniquely irreplaceable. Especially as you and your wife enter this transitional time, making sure you have a daily habit of prayer for your family is even more vital.

    2. Pursue and Express Understanding Toward Your Wife

    When I was pregnant with our son, I had some complications that affected delivery and the early months of our son’s life. Those complications were stressful. We can plop Bible verses on top of a lot of our tensions. And while they are still valid for a pregnant or new momma, there is a deeper sense of responsibility to these kinds of burdens than any other. For some pregnant mamas, the stress of trying to “hang on” to a difficult pregnancy, keep food or liquids down when their stomach revolts, or manage blood sugar that spikes and dips beyond any logic, and all the other many ways our bodies rebel against us during pregnancy, can really test the sanity.

    Moms frequently feel responsible for everything that happens to their baby while pregnant. Yet, with the complexity of hormones, women are often even less in control of how their system responds to things than when they aren’t pregnant. It’s a rotten, traitorous thing of our bodies to let down the team when we need our bodies to behave the most! But it is a reality of some pregnancies, and for the moms who have that experience, a lot of understanding is necessary!

    “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7

    I have never claimed this verse as a favorite. But with early motherhood, I felt like as much as I didn’t love this verse enough to hang it on my wall, I had a brush of experience with it like never before. Some pregnancy complications and the months of caretaking a baby with health issues consumed all my strength, and I wasn’t the same partner I was before having a baby. I needed understanding and grace more than ever in our relationship. I loathed needing more support and help and despised that sensation of being vulnerable. But here was the Bible telling both of us that God designed husbands to be special vessels of understanding for their wives – even their stubborn, strong, I-can-do-everything-myself-wives that never want to need help.

    Pray for God to open your eyes to understand your wife’s changing needs and for insight on how to express understanding, love, and support to her.

    3. Be Filled Up with God’s Word

    “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…” Ephesians 5:25-26

    This verse is covered in the next point also, but first, to be a loving, sacrificial husband, you need the power of the Word vibrant and active in your heart. It will give you the capacity to wash love and grace over your family. It will anchor you in your calling as a husband and anchor your family.

    As you and your wife prepare for a new family member, there isn’t a better time to pursue a habit of being daily renewed in Scripture.

    4. Love Your Wife Sacrificially

    “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…” Ephesians 5:25-26

    While Christians are called to sacrificially love and bear with everyone, husbands are given a special call to sacrifice for their wives. While your wife is pregnant and in those early baby days, this will take on new meaning. Ask the Lord for insight on how to best sacrificially love your wife.

    When I was pregnant, we learned how husbands could best take care of their wives after delivery in our birthing class. I was the absolute flip-flop opposite of what the experts said I would be! I think this is where Christians have a special gift! We have the help of the Holy Spirit through the seasons when even the “experts” don’t have it right. That is a huge comfort!

    So, lean into the Lord, His guidance, and His Word to know just how to love your wife during this challenging season. Use the wisdom of “experts” in the field, but also listen diligently to your wife and the Holy Spirit to love her in the most effective ways based on her needs during this season.

    5. Plan for Change

    “The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage…” Proverbs 21:5

    My husband and I had been married for almost a decade when the Lord blessed us with our son; in other words, we were long established in our no-kid rhythm of life. We both served in vocational church ministry, and I had a side hustle business and a parachurch ministry. We worked a ton. When we relaxed pre-baby life, it was usually going on hiking and photography adventures. When our son was born, he cried and was unable to sleep for the first three years of his life (and yes, we got medical attention – we just had the not-so-awesome fortune of going through tons of doctors before we found one that was able to help!). It’s not quite the same blowing-off-steam experience to camp with a screaming baby or hike with a crying little one on your back. We didn’t have the support circle to have date nights, and no one else could really handle his crying even if we’d had a support circle to go on date nights. I didn’t have anyone to spell me to gather my brain to make business decisions while I tended a baby with health issues. So life changed for us a lot more than we imagined it would because our situation was so different from the other parents around us. Not everyone’s life changes quite so much when they have a baby. But being prepared for significant changes and making space for those changes can bless your relationship.

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Motortion

    Consider praying and talking through these three areas that will need room for changes:

    How you connect as a couple: Think through practical ways to express your heart to one another in five or ten-minute “stolen” moments. You might have those lovely weekly date nights, but you might be the couple that doesn’t get those stretches of time to reconnect. What are five ways you can express to your spouse that you love them and desire connection with them when time together is in short supply?

    How you unwind as a couple: Stress relief seems to get more critical and simultaneously more elusive when you have a new baby on the scene. Do you know two or three ways you can help your spouse destress? Do you know two or three ways you as a couple can destress together?

    How you pursue God together as a couple: Lastly, but most importantly, make plans to seek God together! Some couples have a sense of how they pursue God together before they have a baby. For others, this is a great transition time to implement the habits of seeking God together. Whether you have already established a path to connect with God as a couple or are pursuing it now, as parents, you are going to need and want the Lord’s wisdom and help more than ever! So begin praying and thinking about how to best connect with God as a couple and ask the Lord to help navigate your family’s changes while faithfully pursuing Him. My poor husband would often read the Bible to us, and I would fall asleep on him because I was so exhausted! This made all of us feel pretty bad! Be mentally prepared to possibly switch up the times and ways you seek the Lord as a couple and family.

    Congratulations on all the joy and adventure that awaits your growing family! May God’s best blessings surround your family!

    “Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

    The fruit of the womb is a reward.

    Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

    So are the children of one’s youth.

    How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” Psalm 127:3-5

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/PeopleImages

    April Motl is a pastor’s wife, homeschool mom, and women’s ministry director. When she’s not waist-deep in the joys and jobs of motherhood, being a wife, and serving at church, she writes and teaches for women. You can find more encouraging resources from April here and here. 

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  • 6 Prayers for a Broken Marriage

    6 Prayers for a Broken Marriage

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    Marriage is the ultimate covenant between two people. When two people are joined in marriage, they vow to love, honor, and cherish each other through the best and worst of circumstances for the rest of their lives.

    Not only is marriage God’s plan for his people but also marriages are to reflect the love of Christ and the church. Marriage is also the place where people see us at our worst. When we have unprocessed trauma and pain in our lives, the person we take it out on the most is our spouses.

    This can cause our marriage to break down, and both parties stop thinking about each other and start focusing on themselves. The unmet needs and desires they have in marriage, which are not met, result in partners being angry and sometimes bitter.

    But there’s still hope. When two people ask God for his help and obey his commands, even the most broken marriage can be mended.

    As Christians, it is more important than ever to be praying for people’s marriages, especially for those who are going through a difficult season.

    Here are six prayers for a broken marriage:

    1. Father, Heal Us

    One of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage is that both parties work on healing anything that hinders their emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Any emotional wounds that someone has can infect both the person’s abundant life and also the people around them.

    It is difficult to be around two people who are constantly fighting or, worse, assassinating each other ‘s character. To combat this problem, spend some time alone with God. Ask him to show you any areas of your life where you are not healed.

    If unhealed trauma results, and you need to forgive someone, forgive them. If brokenness means you’re in conflict with someone, do your best to settle the conflict. Nip conflict in the bud as soon as possible.

    Ask God to keep healing old wounds until they’re completely healed. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

    2. Father, Speak to Us

    Many marriages are broken because they don’t hear from God regularly. When a person becomes a Christian, they yield their lives to God. This means they allow him to direct their steps when it comes to their future spouse, their career, and everything in between.

    God’s will is not for divorce but rather wholeness and healing. Although we should not look to our spouses to fill our lives with happiness, God does want us to work together in marriage to exemplify his joy in our lives.

    After asking him to heal old wounds, ask him if there’s anything specific, he wants to tell you. The holy spirit dwelling within you wants to speak to us. He yearns to be in fellowship with us. This includes him telling us things that are for our education, comfort, and encouragement.

    3. Father, Forgive Us

    It is easy in a marriage to place blame on the other. Adam blamed Eve after they fell victim to the serpent’s evil ways. Since the beginning of time, people have wanted to place blame and make things someone else’s fault.

    Yet, when we analyze our relationships, we often find we are just as guilty as the other party. Take the time to forgive your spouse for whatever they’ve done. This may take months or even years.

    That’s okay. Forgiveness is a process; people often want to skip the process because it’s hard work. Forgiveness is hard; so was Jesus’ death on the cross. He died for us to live a life of freedom. That is the impetus to forgive our spouses.

    Additionally, sometimes the person we can’t forgive is ourselves. Despite the reality that Jesus’ blood covers all our sins, we often want to hold on to our grievous behavior as a spiritual penance so that we can earn God’s forgiveness.

    But God’s forgiveness came when Jesus died on the cross. We can live in freedom and ask God to forgive us, knowing that he is just and will forgive all our sins, even the ones we think are too horrible for God.

    4. Father, Help Us Reflect You

    Both partners in a marriage mirror the love of Christ for the church. Each person reflects Jesus. The best way we demonstrate our adoration for God is if we honor the marriage covenant. It is difficult to mirror Christ in a relationship where unmet expectations and trauma abound.

    This is especially true if there is emotional or mental abuse within the relationship. The best thing we can do is seek help from professionals who can help us work through our issues so we can be the best spouse we can be.

    5. Father, Give Us Peace

    Scripture says, “As long as it stands with you, a little peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). Although reconciliation may not be possible in every relationship, we should both strive to make sure that happens.

    Peace may not be possible in every situation, but peace is what gives us the freedom to live a life secure in our identity as God’s child.

    Peace is not necessarily just the absence of fear, but rather it is the contentment of knowing that Christ is in control of each situation and he wants what’s best for his children.

    Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

    Sometimes God’s will is beyond our comprehension. But it is not our job to figure out what God’s will is. Our job is to simply trust him and know he will act on our behalf.

    We can take comfort knowing God is in control and that we don’t have to figure out every situation to rather just yield to him.

    6. Father, Help Us to Love as You Love Us

    God loves us unconditionally. But we love others with conditions. Jesus sees people through the lens of sinners in need of a savior. He came to show all the world would have hope in him.

    As humans, however, we place expectations on people, and when they hurt us, we are apt to cut them off or spend no time with them.

    We see people through the lens of our past pain and feel the spirit, but God, who’s forgiven all sins, has already paid the penalty for our sins. He lives in the security of knowing that the wages of sin is death, but Jesus paid that debt in full.

    If we could learn to be more like Jesus, we would see people through the lens of love and forgiveness. When we believe we are fully loved, fully forgiven, and that God loves us no matter what, we are more apt to see others in the same light.

    This helps us more easily forgive people and love them just as Christ loves us. In our own humanity, however, that can be difficult. We must anchor our lives to Scripture and live as people fully loved. When we can do that, we can forgive and love others the same way.

    If you are having difficulty in your marriage, reach out to a friend, pastor, or other leader who can help you sort out the issue. Make sure it is not someone we’ll see things with bias but rather someone who can look at it objectively.

    Take their advice and do the hard work it takes to turn your marriage around. There is no sin that has not been covered fully by Christ, including your marriage. Let God be your guide, and allow him to transform both you and your spouse from the inside out.

    For further reading:

    a-troubled-marriage.html”>Prayer for a Troubled Marriage

    51 Marriage Prayers and Prompts to Pray Over Your Relationship

    How Can Believing in Soulmates Ultimately Ruin Your Marriage?

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Prostock-Studio

    Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor’s wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Who God Wants Me to Be encourages girls to discover God’s plan for their careers. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.

    This article originally appeared on Christianity.com. For more faith-building resources, visit

    Christianity.com. Christianity.com

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  • How Can We Model the Love of Christ through Good Listening?

    How Can We Model the Love of Christ through Good Listening?

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    For some people, listening comes naturally as their personality is to be less verbal. Others may feel they have nothing to offer in a conversation, so they listen more than they speak. After all, God did give us two ears and only one mouth!

    Whether we are quiet in nature or a person who is uncomfortable in silence and feels they must fill every space with words, learning to really listen to others is hard work. For a Christ-follower, however, it’s vital to our mission as God’s ambassadors and ministers of reconciliation.

    2 Corinthians 5:18-20 – “Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.”

    The way we listen can either draw people toward God or push them away. Even in our attempts to tell others about Jesus, we can talk too much in the uncomfortableness of a gospel presentation. Are we focused on downloading information and our beliefs without stopping to listen to the questions people are asking? Good listening skills can help us slow down and reduce our anxiety to win a convert. Instead of talking constantly, we need to hear what the other person is sharing about their own hearts and where they are in their spiritual journey, trusting Jesus’ promise that the Holy Spirit will give us the right words at the right time.

    Listening well tells others they are valuable to us, and illustrates they are valuable to God. Just as God patiently listens to our prayers with His heart of compassion, we must learn to listen with more than our ears. Let us humble ourselves to close our mouths often, and when we do open them, make sure we speak timely words that produce life, hope, and peace in the hearts of the listener.

    Proverbs 18:21 – “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Tinnakorn Jorruang

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    Sheila Alewine

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  • Tinder App Review + How To Build A Good Tinder Profile

    Tinder App Review + How To Build A Good Tinder Profile

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    Setting up a Tinder profile is akin to many swipe-based apps. I find the setup most similar to Bumble. To create your profile, you’ll first upload photos (up to nine) and add a bio of 500 characters or less. You will then be asked to provide a job title, company, school, location, and sexual orientation.

    Not sure which photos to use on your dating app profile? Tinder has a “smart photos” feature. If selected, the app picks out which photos will perform best and displays them first.

    In addition to the basic information, you can also add up to five interests, along with your preferred pronouns, height, relationship goals, languages, zodiac sign, education, and family plans. There’s an option to display whether you have the COVID vaccine, your personality type, communication style, and love language.

    To tell a bit more about your lifestyle, you can fill out more details on pets, drinking habits, smoking, cannabis, workout frequency, dietary preference, how frequently you use social media, and your sleeping habits.

    Lastly, you have the ability to link your Instagram or Spotify account. Linking these accounts will not show your user information. For Instagram, it will show a few frames of your most recent posts. If you link Spotify, your profile will display your top artists. You can also choose an “anthem” song from Spotify.

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    Jennifer Stavros

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  • Avoidant Attachment: What It Is, Why It Happens + How To Fix It

    Avoidant Attachment: What It Is, Why It Happens + How To Fix It

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    While learning to reframe your attachment style can require time and effort, it’s not impossible, and your relationships will thank you for it. As Page explains, the biggest things you can do to get started are cultivating relationships with people you can truly trust, as well as focusing on the inner work of connecting to your own needs (and learning to voice them slowly but surely).

    In an effort towards personal growth of any kind, mindfulness is also always required. After all, you can’t unlearn patterns if you don’t notice them in the first place.

    To that end, marriage counselor Linda Carroll, M.S., previously wrote for mindbodygreen, “Practicing mindfulness is essential for any change. In relationships, shifting from reactiveness to responsiveness can lift us out of our early attachment patterns toward a healthier, more secure style.”

    As you start to notice when your avoidant tendencies are popping up, you can work to adjust your behavior. Page adds that working with a therapist you can trust is not only a good way to open yourself up to another person, but further, learn to tap into your own repressed needs and feelings.

    “I cannot over emphasize how important it is to find people who cherish you and that you can trust, and how much more important that is than just trying to do it on your own,” Page tells mindbodygreen, adding, “Psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually, ‘lifting yourself up by your bootstraps’ never works because we are interdependent teams, first and foremost.”

    Finally, he says, avoidants must learn not to be ashamed of their needs, and even to validate, honor, and champion them. To that end, he says, “The distance you keep from your own heart is the very is the distance you keep from your intimate relationships,” and when you’re connected to the desires in your own heart, “you’re going to be able to embrace that in your intimate relationships.”

    It’s also important to note that these attachment styles exist on a spectrum of sorts, and few among us are 100% secure, according to Page. If lingering avoidant tendencies remain, it’s not the end of the world, especially if you’ve communicated your feelings to your partner. Page tells mindbodygreen that having a trustworthy and reliable partner who understands your need for space and independence can help you open up more in time.

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    Sarah Regan

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  • Marriage and Mental Health: Navigating Challenges Together in Christ

    Marriage and Mental Health: Navigating Challenges Together in Christ

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    Marriage is not merely a contractual agreement or a societal expectation. It is a divine covenant—a merging of two souls destined to walk together through life’s joys and trials. God created marriage to be a source of comfort, support, and friendship from the beginning. The book of Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” This union is meant to establish a harmonic bond, a safe haven where couples may find comfort in each other’s company.

    In the realm of mental health, marriage plays a pivotal role. It has the power to nurture and uplift, providing a sense of emotional security and stability. A loving and supportive spouse can serve as a pillar of strength during times of adversity, offering a listening ear, a comforting embrace, and words of encouragement. The presence of a loving spouse can reduce stress, worry, and feelings of loneliness, creating an atmosphere that promotes excellent mental health.

    However, the problems that come with marriage can significantly influence the couple’s mental health. The complications of combining two lives, as well as different expectations and unavoidable disputes, can have a negative impact on emotional and mental health. Unresolved disagreements, a lack of efficient communication, or poor relationship dynamics can lead to emotions of irritation, anxiety, and even despair.

    Yet, even amid these challenges, marriage can be a catalyst for growth and healing. It provides an opportunity for individuals to confront their own vulnerabilities and insecurities, fostering personal development and self-awareness. As we navigate the intricacies of marriage, we are confronted with our own flaws, learning to extend grace, forgiveness, and patience toward our spouse and ourselves.

    The foundation of a healthy marriage rests upon the principles of love, respect, and mutual understanding. Ephesians 5:25 reminds us, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…” Love becomes the guiding force, empowering spouses to empathize, support, and uplift one another in times of need.

    Moreover, the role of faith cannot be underestimated in the context of marriage and mental health. Placing our trust in God and surrendering our struggles to Him can bring peace, wisdom, and guidance. Philippians 4:6-7 reassures us, “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” 

    In the pursuit of sound mental health within marriage, open communication and mutual support are essential. The ability to express one’s feelings, fears, and struggles without fear of judgment or rejection cultivates an environment of trust and emotional safety. Seeking professional help, when needed, is not a sign of weakness but a proactive step towards healing and growth.

    As we continue on this journey of exploring the impact of marriage on mental health, let us remember that we are not alone. God is present, walking alongside us, providing the strength and wisdom we need. Let us strive to cultivate a marriage that promotes emotional well-being, supporting and uplifting our spouses in their journey toward wholeness.

    The Importance of Mental Health in Marriage

    Mental health encompasses our thoughts, emotions, and overall psychological well-being. It influences how we perceive ourselves, our spouse, and the world around us. It shapes our ability to cope with stress, navigate conflicts, and cultivate a loving and supportive atmosphere within the sacred bond of marriage.

    Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Our mental well-being is closely intertwined with the condition of our hearts, affecting our attitudes, perceptions, and interactions within the marriage relationship.

    When spouses prioritize their mental health, they are better equipped to face the inevitable challenges that arise in marriage. The complexities of daily life, responsibilities, and external pressures can take a toll on our mental well-being. By tending to our mental health, we are nurturing the very essence of who we are, allowing us to bring our best selves into the marriage.

    When individuals neglect their mental health, it can lead to a myriad of challenges within the marriage. Unresolved emotional wounds, untreated anxiety or depression, and unchecked stress can strain the relationship, hindering effective communication and emotional connection. Couples must recognize the importance of mental health and actively work towards its preservation.

    Seeking God’s Guidance in Navigating Mental Health Challenges

    In times of distress, when our hearts are heavy and our minds are weary, we can seek God’s guidance and find comfort and wisdom in His Word.

    Prayer is a powerful tool that connects us directly to the heart of God. Amid mental health challenges within marriage, we can come together as spouses, hand in hand, and pour out our burdens, fears, and struggles before the throne of grace. We are reminded in Matthew 18:20 that “where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” Through joint prayers, we invite God’s presence into our marriage, acknowledging our dependence on Him for strength, healing, and guidance.

    In prayer, we can express our deepest emotions, offering both gratitude and petitions. We can lay our burdens at the feet of Jesus, knowing that He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). We can seek His wisdom and discernment, trusting that He will provide clarity amidst confusion. Together, we can intercede for one another, lifting up our spouse’s mental well-being to the One who knows and understands every need.

    The Bible, God’s Living Word, is a treasure trove of comfort, guidance, and wisdom. As we navigate mental health challenges within marriage, we can turn to the Scriptures for reassurance and strength. Psalm 119:105 says, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” By immersing ourselves in God’s Word, we gain perspective and insight. The Psalms, for example, express a wide range of emotions and can provide solace and encouragement in times of distress. Proverbs offers practical wisdom for navigating the complexities of life and relationships. The teachings of Jesus in the Gospels remind us of His compassion, love, and healing power.

    In the journey of navigating mental health challenges within marriage, seeking godly counsel and support from trusted individuals can be invaluable. Proverbs 11:14 reminds us, “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” This may involve seeking guidance from pastors, spiritual mentors, or licensed Christian counselors who can provide biblical insights and practical tools to help us navigate the complexities of mental health challenges.

    In addition to professional guidance, being part of a community of believers can offer a sense of belonging and support (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). By connecting with others who share our faith journey, we can find encouragement, empathy, and understanding. Support groups, prayer circles, or even engaging in open conversations with trusted friends can create a space where we can share our struggles, receive prayer, and gain perspective.

    During mental health challenges within marriage, it is essential to remember that God is sovereign and His timing is perfect. Even when we cannot fully comprehend the reasons behind our struggles, we can trust in His unfailing love and faithfulness. Romans 8:28 assures us that “all things work together for good to them that love God.” God can use our trials to shape us, strengthen our faith, and bring about beauty from ashes.

    Therefore, while seeking God’s guidance, we must exercise patience and trust in His timing. Some challenges may require ongoing perseverance and a journey of healing. In these moments, we can draw comfort from Isaiah 40:31, which promises that ” But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” By surrendering our timeline to God and aligning our hearts with His purposes, we can find peace in knowing that He is working all things for our ultimate good.

    Supporting Each Other’s Mental Health

    Supporting each other’s mental health is an essential aspect of a thriving and God-honoring marriage. As spouses, we have the privilege and responsibility to create a safe and nurturing environment where both partners can flourish emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 

    One of the foundational pillars of supporting each other’s mental health is open communication and active listening. Proverbs 18:13 says, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” By creating a space where both partners feel heard and valued, we can foster an environment where thoughts, feelings, and concerns can be openly shared without fear of judgment or rejection.

    Active listening involves more than just hearing the words spoken—it requires attentiveness, empathy, and a willingness to truly understand the other person’s perspective. It means setting aside our own preconceived notions and giving our full presence to our spouse. Through active listening, we validate their experiences and emotions, fostering a sense of emotional connection and trust.

    Supporting each other’s mental health requires a proactive approach to building a strong foundation for emotional well-being in our marriage. Here are two key areas to focus on:

    1. Prioritizing Self-Care 

    2. Prioritizing Emotional Well-being

    Caring for ourselves is not a selfish act but rather an act of stewardship of the bodies and minds God has given us. Jesus reminds us in Mark 12:31 to “love thy neighbor as thyself.” It is difficult to pour into our spouse’s mental health if we neglect our own.

    Prioritizing self-care involves engaging in activities that bring us joy, rest, and rejuvenation. It means setting healthy boundaries, managing stress, and practicing self-compassion. By taking care of ourselves, we model the importance of self-care to our spouse and create an atmosphere where both partners can thrive emotionally and mentally.

    Our relationship with God also serves as the cornerstone of our emotional and mental well-being. Psalm 62:8 encourages us to “trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.” By cultivating a deep and intimate connection with our Heavenly Father, we find solace, guidance, and strength to navigate life’s challenges.

    Nurturing our relationship with God involves spending time in prayer, studying His Word, and seeking His guidance in every aspect of our lives. It means surrendering our anxieties, fears, and burdens to Him, trusting in His divine wisdom and perfect plan. By drawing close to God individually and as a couple, we create a spiritual foundation that sustains and supports our mental health journey.

    Supporting each other’s mental health is a sacred responsibility within marriage. Through open communication, active listening, encouragement of professional help, and the cultivation of a strong foundation for mental health, we can create an environment where both partners thrive emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. By prioritizing self-care and nurturing our relationship with God, we can journey together, hand in hand, towards greater emotional well-being and a deeper connection with one another and with our Creator.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/MangoStar_Studio

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • 5 Best Things about Marrying Your Best Friend

    5 Best Things about Marrying Your Best Friend

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    I picked him up at the airport just before midnight, scruffy and weary after two days of travel. We had been apart for a month, a decision we prayed about and made together. Though I stayed behind, I felt like part of what he was doing. Questions about our commitment to each other never entered in. It’s one of the best things about marrying your best friend.

    Follow the hashtag #bestfriend on Instagram and you’ll find over 61 million images including pets, marriage proposals, babies, teenagers, and more pets. A lot of couples describe themselves with the label “best friend” on social media before they marry and on special occasions later on.

    It isn’t until life partners live in the pressure cooker of life together that they dig deeper than companionship and cultivate true friendship.  

    Best friends aren’t born, they’re developed. Treasured friendships usually grow over time and through shared experiences spanning seasons leading to uncommon understanding between two people. Some like to think marriage and friendship are best kept in different beds. 

    However, marriage between best friends takes both matrimony and friendship to a whole new level. Here are 5 of the best things about marrying your best friend.

    1. KNOWING

    Be married to the one who knows you best.

    Have you ever played the Newlywed Game at a marriage event or small group? Everyone wants to be the couple who knows all the answers about each other. No one wants to be the disconnected partner who can’t remember their lover’s favorite drive-thru order.

    Ironically, recalling our favorite comedy and the song we first danced to doesn’t always indicate how good our married life really is.  “Knowing” goes way beyond the facts of casual friendship.

    The Bible uses the same word for “knowing” each other sexually that it uses to describe the understanding of a person inside a love relationship. “But whoever loves God is known by God,” (1 Corinthians 8:3). To be genuinely loved is to be genuinely known. To be genuinely known is to be genuinely loved.

    By learning to have full knowledge of each other, we understand each other. Nowhere else does a relational level of knowing reach the depths of who we are at our core than in living life as partners, including sharing physical intimacy with each other. One of the best things about marrying your best friend is the liberty a couple finds.

    The freedom of friendship expresses itself in open communication, cooperative partnership, and yes, unhindered intimacy.  It’s so good to be fully known by a best friend who has marriage partner level “clearance.”

    2. ACCEPTANCE

    Choose to accept the one you love.

    The love of a husband for his wife leads to acceptance. As he exercises “agape” love for her, he intentionally turns from other priorities, accepting her, and joining himself to her. This decision to attach comes from a divinely created design to develop a best friendship. With the full acceptance of an intimately known friend, a husband and wife experience certain acceptance. 

    Acceptance doesn’t come with a guarantee of constant delight, cooperation, or satisfaction. Instead, matrimony purposing to get to the best friend level assures both partner that when the going gets tough, the friend won’t get going. The decision to gut it out through ups and downs demonstrates that the relationship is more than good company; it’s committed to stretch through the seasons.

    Honest married people will admit to having had head shaking moments of frustration with their spouse. They may even think back to a “different option” who had best friend potential but didn’t embark on the journey of seasons and years, of highs and lows, to get to the kind of knowing you only know in marriage. But being married to your best friend allows for the benefit of full acceptance across the landscape of feelings.

    Being married to your best friend means, “the two will become one flesh,” (Ephesians 5:31). Husband and wife accept one another into one another so that they join their separate lives into a single life. We know they maintain their uniqueness as God created them, but in a mysterious way, being known in one flesh overflows into being accepted in that oneness.

    3. TRUST

    Believe in the best friend next to you.

    When you’re deeply known and totally accepted by the best friend you’re married to, you get to a level of safety you didn’t know you could reach with another, imperfect human being. You find yourself there at the table, in the pew, in bed, and online. You trust.

    Experiencing trust with a marriage partner doesn’t exclude having a BFF of your same gender. Husbands benefit from someone to hang out with on a guy’s night. Wives find it helpful to have a girlfriend to share with. In fact, closer friendship with your spouse usually results in further freedom to have a dear friend of your own kind.

    Confident belief in the trustworthy reliability of our mate leads to a stronger bond.

    Remember the early days of your relationship? Maybe you wondered if you were really both serious. Maybe you wondered if someone else was moving in on your territory. Maybe you questioned if your mate enjoyed flirting with others. Maybe you wanted to see who was texting. There’s no substitute for time and testing to develop trust between friends and, even more, between married partners.

    Friendships fall apart without trust, and so do marriages. But trust has a way of forging strong bonds taking friendships and marriages to “best friend” levels.

    4. ENJOYMENT

    Love being with the one you love.

    God gave Adam all of creation to enjoy, but He made a husband and wife to enjoy other exclusively. Eve was no animal! And despite what wives may think at times, a husband is no animal either. While neither mate is created to provide all the other would need, the Creator makes it clear His carefully matched design is intended to bring joy.

    After God acknowledged man’s state of being alone was “not good,” He responded to the need by making a woman. Instead of being perpetually separated from anyone who would “get” him, God prepared a matching mate to be the kind of partner who would be known, accepted, and trusted. In a garden of first-born created creatures, God brought the first one flesh union together with an invitation to, “Enjoy each other like no other.”

    The invitation to know, receive, trust and enjoy each other was in a class of its own. It’s as if God forged marriage and friendship together in a relational category all its own. So few go there when they settle for companionship or even relationship. To build marriage on best friendship is to go to a sacred place.  

    “Adam, my friend, this is the best friend you’re hoping for.” 

    “Eve, my daughter, this is the best friend you’ll be dreaming of.”

    I don’t have to be my husband’s hiking buddy, just like he doesn’t have to be my pottery class partner. Having our own interests makes us more interesting! But actively pursuing shared experiences and mutual interests moves us one step closer to being married to our best friend.

    When we live in a veiled version of harmony, less than best friends, we miss out on God’s invitation to fully enjoy the other half of our one flesh union. Without pursuing depth of friendship, husbands and wives risk hovering in shallow layers of life together without taking the plunge into the purest streams intended for their oneness. No one wants to stay in murky, standing water; it tends to stagnate.

    5. SECURITY

    Hold fast to your friend and mate.

    A deep, clear quality of married life to a best friend is a place we want to stay. Are you suddenly feeling like your marriage is a thin substitute for what could and should be a rich life married to your best friend in life? If you want the confidence and security that comes with being one flesh this way, you’re not alone.

    If you want more for your marriage, you’re wanting exactly what God wants. He planned for this amazing potential to move in powerful ways in our marriages. No one can pray for a husband like a wife or husband for a wife. No one can be such a completely safe relationship as a wife for a husband and a husband for a wife. Marriage can be a safe, powerful, inspiring place to be when you’re there with your closest friend. When a marriage bond also becomes a best friend bond, it’s a powerful place to be.

    Rather than fear you’ve married the wrong person or lost the chance to go deeper, be encouraged that it’s not too late. Best friends aren’t born, they’re developed. Your marriage and your friendship hasn’t become all it can be yet. There’s so much more to develop and discover together.

    Genesis 2:24 explains that when a man and woman get together, it’s the beginning of learning to “hold fast” to each other. Marriage is created to be a safe place to find a  sacred quality of security.

    God wants you to get to genuine #bestfriend status in your #marriedlife. These are just five of the best things about marrying your best friend. Put the power of prayer and the Holy Spirit to work to get to know, accept, trust, enjoy, and keep the best friend you married.

    Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Anthony Tran

    Julie Sanders loves helping women find God’s peace in today’s challenging times. She is the author of Expectant, The ABCs of Praying for Students, and the creator of How to Prayer Walk for Your School. She and her husband call Central Oregon home, but serve leaders globally and cross-culturally. Julie can be found at juliesanders.org.

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  • 8 Bible Truths to Remember in an Unhappy Marriage

    8 Bible Truths to Remember in an Unhappy Marriage

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    Growing up, I remember watching romance movies and thinking, why are they making love so difficult? Just go to that person, apologize, and makeup. Live happily ever after you’re obviously meant to live. Boy, was I naive. I’m nearly five years into marriage and let’s be honest — marriage is the absolute hardest thing to do in this world. What starts as fun and romantic can turn to bickering and stonewalling.

    No one escapes the difficulties of marriage; they all have ups and downs. Even seasons when you’re not quite sure if you’re going to make it. For many, even though divorce is a bad word, the thought of it crosses our minds at the darkest of moments.

    I used to imagine I’d be a patient, gracious, and loving wife. That I’d be the kind of spouse that made marriage easy. Yet again, I was so naive. Because what I didn’t see in those movies were real life and my own sinful nature. If I’m being really honest, I haven’t been the wife I imagined. I’ve been selfish, proud, and reacted poorly more often than I’d like to admit. I’ve stonewalled and retreated, snapped out of anger, and been unkind. 

    If we aren’t diligent, those mistakes can snowball into a barren marriage. Two people living in a home, like ships passing in the night—near but not seen.

    8 Bible Truths for an Unhappy Marriage

    If you’re reading this, you’ve likely been there, are there, or prepare for days ahead. Days when you don’t like your spouse. Days when you don’t feel like talking, let alone forgiving. Moments when you’re so hurt or angry that checking out seems like an option. Days when you’re not sure your marriage is going to make it.

    For those days, I have eight thoughts I want you to remember. Eight truths I want you to carry with you in those dark days.

    1. God Can Heal, No Matter How Impossible Reconciliation Seems

    It may seem that the hurt and distance is too far to come back from, but neither is impossible for God to restore. In fact, that’s what He does best: redeem. When you surrender to His working and pray for His healing, God can go to work in even the direst situation. If He can conquer death, which He did, then He can bring that same victory to your marriage.

    Go to Him daily in prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, and invite Him into the relationship. Even if all seems lost—there’s still hope in His hands.

    “And Jesus said to him, ‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes’.” Mark 9:23

    2. Pray for Your Spouse and Marriage

    Prayer is often lost in the busyness but it’s one of the most important things you can do. When you pray, things happen.

    It’s hard to see victory without prayer so bring your marriage to the Lord daily. Pray for healing and reconciliation; invite Him to help you be more patient and kind; ask God to work in your spouse’s heart.

    A devotional I highly recommend is The Power of a Praying Wife and The Power of a Praying Husband, both by Stormie Omartian.

    “In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.” Psalm 18:6

    3. Love Is an Action, Not a Feeling

    There will be days you don’t feel love for your spouse or even like them. But love isn’t a feeling, it’s an action. It’s something you are called to have for everyone, and that is particularly true for your spouse. 

    The honest truth is, every marriage will have days that are harder than others. And most will see days when love seems distant. But every marriage that has stood the test of trial and time is a marriage that fought for love even when there was no emotion for it. Action kicked in and love endured.

    Even when you don’t feel like showing your spouse love, do it anyway. It can be the very thing that helps turn the tide.

    “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

    4. Adopt Forgiveness

    Forgiveness is key in any relationship. We all say careless words in passing or make selfish decisions that hurt those we love most. And your spouse has or will likely do this to you. When this happens, adopt forgiveness.

    In those hard seasons, we want to withhold forgiveness until our spouse has made right on the hurt we feel. And over time, our own lack of forgiveness builds a hard wall around both hearts. One of the best ways to soften a heart is to forgive. No matter how often you must.

    Jesus said in Matthew 18 that there is essentially no cap on forgiveness. Peter asked if forgiving seven times was enough, but Jesus responded to forgive seventy-seven times. When your spouse has hurt you, remember to forgive quickly. Even is they don’t ask for it, forgive. And do it often.

    “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:13-14

    5. Show Empathy

    Empathy goes a long way in a relationship. If I’m one hundred percent honest with you, this can be hard for me. I’m an Enneagram eight and if you know anything about an eight, vulnerability is hard and we want to fix the problem. So letting my guard down and empathizing is work for me. I’m not great at it but I strive to grow in this area because I see how valuable it is not just in marriage but in all relationships.

    Jesus always showed great empathy. When He saw the people as sheep without a shepherd, He went to them (Matthew 9). When He saw the sick and hurting, He healed them all (Matthew 8). When Jesus saw the Samaritan woman—a person Jews would avoid—He went to her because He knew she was worthy of being seen (John 4).

    Remember in the hard times that your spouse is hurting too—not just you. Pain causes us to draw in but you’re most like Jesus when you press in with love. When you love the unlovable. 

    “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” 1 Peter 3:8

    6. Remember Your Vows

    This is basic but it’s powerful. 

    Over time, with the hardships and pains that come with life, what you shared in the beginning fades. You forget how fun you use to have together. The wonderful memories you made. You even forget the vows you once made to one another.

    Pull out the vows you wrote to your spouse, or watch your wedding ceremony video. And remember the commitment you made to one another. Remember how you started out with fierce loyalty to each other—in the good and the bad—and renew your commitment to the marriage.

    Perhaps even consider reading your vows to one another again.

    “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:7-9

    7. Be Willing to Work Hard

    No lasting marriage has ever been easy. In fact, if you were to ask most people who are still married into their golden years, they’d probably say there were days they didn’t know if their marriage would make it.

    You will never make it to the end unless you’re willing to do the hard work. To fight your emotions and do the right thing. To forgive and endure and show empathy. You’ll have to fight spiritual battles over your marriage with prayer and God’s Word.

    “So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-36

    8. Seasons Don’t Last Forever

    There is a season for everything—that’s what Solomon shared at the end of his life. After his abandonment of the Lord and, it appears, his first marriage, he reflected on the emptiness of chasing after his own desires. 

    In those darkest days in a marriage, you may imagine a life apart from your spouse. But what Solomon essentially said is that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Find the purpose in the season and know that this time won’t last forever.

    There are so many various seasons in life and marriage. There will be dark days but there will also be beautiful days. If you will commit to the hard work marriage requires, you’ll come out of the hard season. And on the other side of that hard season is a love stronger than the love you had before.

    “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

    More Scriptures about Marriage

    Proverbs 19:14 ESV – House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

    1 Peter 3:7 ESV – Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

    Proverbs 18:22 ESV – He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

    Genesis 2:24 ESV – Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

    Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, …

    1 Peter 4:8 ESV – Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

    Proverbs 31:10 ESV – An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

    Psalm 85:10 ESV – Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other.

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/People Images

    Brittany Rust has a passion to see people impacted by the power of God’s Word and His abundant grace through writing and speaking. She is the founder of Truth and Grace Ministries, Truth x Grace Women, and is the author of five books. Brittany lives with her husband, Ryan, and son, Roman, in Castle Rock, Colorado. Learn more at www.brittanyrust.com. 

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  • Bumble Review + Is Bumble’s Premium Subscription Worth It?

    Bumble Review + Is Bumble’s Premium Subscription Worth It?

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    Trotter recommends dating apps in general, saying they’re “a great way to meet people that you might not otherwise meet in your everyday life.” In regards to Bumble specifically, it really is about what you are looking for (and the time you’re willing to put into building a unique profile). You’ll see options for “not sure yet,” “relationship,” and more. So, depending on if you want a one-night stand or a full-blown relationship, there are possibilities for you. 

    Bumble is one of the most popular dating apps, so there will most likely be a significant amount of people to match with in your area. In my experience, it takes a lot of swiping to reach the end of possible matches, both in smaller and larger cities. And, since it is one of the more traditional types of dating apps, chatting is hassle-free.

    One thing to be wary of on Bumble is scammers and catfishes. Even though you can verify your profile, they still slip through. I do think that it’s easy to spot them, though—they tend to have filtered photos, very similar photo setups (like on private planes or in front of a major landmark), empty profiles, and profiles that say “new here.” If you know what to look for, it’s easy to avoid them and swipe left when they come up.

    As far as Bumble Premium goes, I have definitely found value—and have encouraged multiple people to try it. I like that it has different levels of commitment, so if you aren’t satisfied, you can cancel with minimum effort.

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  • 68 Questions To Ask Your Partner, From Deep To Funny & More

    68 Questions To Ask Your Partner, From Deep To Funny & More

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    According to New York–based neuropsychologist Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., asking questions can foster intimacy in a relationship because it creates an opportunity for deeper connection, vulnerability, and understanding.

    “By asking meaningful questions and actively listening to your partner’s responses, you are creating a space for them to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with you. This mutual sharing can help build trust and can strengthen your emotional bond. Similarly, by answering these questions yourself, you are also opening yourself up to your partner and allowing them to get to know you on a deeper level,” Hafeez explains to mindbodygreen.

    So, what questions do you ask? Here are a few to get you started.

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  • 5 Reasons Why You Can’t “Fix” Another Person

    5 Reasons Why You Can’t “Fix” Another Person

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    Have you ever listened to a problem that a family member or friend was sharing and immediately started giving them ideas for what they should do to make the situation better? “Read this book,” “Take this supplement,” “Buy this course,” “Get more exercise,” “Drink more water,” and on and on it goes. The person listening to you acknowledges your suggestions, leaves the conversation, and never takes your advice. Your suggestions may be beneficial, but they fall short. 

    How about sharing your own experience when you hear about another person’s difficult situation? Hoping it will help, you quickly tell your story relating to the current struggle. While the story may have merit, it puts the focus on you and takes the focus off the person sharing who just needed a listening ear and some encouragement. 

    Your desire to help and support those you care about is rooted in love, compassion, and empathy. It’s difficult to see your friends and family walk through hard things. However, it’s important to understand the limitations of your role in addressing the problems and struggles of others. You can better navigate these situations by focusing on active listening, self-reflection, respecting personal journeys, and relying on God’s wisdom and sovereignty. 

    In your human-ness, you cannot fix anyone else’s problems or struggles, and here’s why:

    1. Listening Should Be Your First Response

    In your eagerness to assist, you may jump into fix-it mode before truly hearing the full story. There is immense power in being an attentive listener. Sometimes, all someone needs is a listening ear and an empathetic heart. 

    By refraining from imposing your own ideas and stories, you can create a safe space where others feel heard and valued. This involves deeper listening to truly hear, not just surface listening to respond, and this is a rare gift to the other person.

    Proverbs 18:13 reminds us that speaking before truly listening is unwise and leads to shame. Instead, let’s practice being quick to listen and slow to speak, recognizing that sometimes the best thing we can offer is our undivided attention and encouragement.

    2. You Have Limitations

    While your intentions may be genuine, it’s important to recognize that you cannot fix someone else’s problems or struggles. You must avoid coming across as judgmental or condescending by assuming you know what is best for someone else.  

    Instead of attempting to fix another person, you can humbly acknowledge that you have your own areas of growth and challenges to navigate. Matthew 7:3 warns against focusing on the speck in your brother’s eye while ignoring the plank in your own.

    You can redirect your focus inward on yourself. By cultivating self-awareness and striving for personal growth, you become a living example of the transformation you desire to see in others.

    3. The Situation Is Complex

    Each person and their issues are complex, and rarely is there a simple, one-size-fits-all solution. It’s vital to acknowledge that you do not possess all of the information needed to offer a comprehensive solution. 

    The only person who knows all of the details about the situation at hand is the person dealing with the situation. Consequently, they are the best person equipped to find a solution. 

    Rather than providing quick fixes, you can be curious and ask thoughtful questions that help your friend or family member explore various possibilities to discover a resolution. This empowers them to find their own way with God’s guidance. 

    In being curious and asking questions, you create an environment of trust and collaboration that allows for deeper exploration and growth.

    4. You Must Honor Others’ Personal Growth

    God created each one of us with free will and the capacity to make our own choices. Every individual is on a unique journey of personal growth and transformation. While it may be tempting to bear the burdens of others, you must respect their path and allow them the opportunity to learn, make mistakes, grow, and mature. 

    Galatians 6:5 reminds us that each person must bear their own load. Instead of trying to fix someone else, you can offer your support through prayer and genuine empathy. Trusting in God’s sovereignty, you can release your desire to control the situation and allow His perfect plan to unfold. 

    5. You Must Honor God’s Sovereignty

    You must remember that you are not God. He has a purpose and plan for everything that occurs in your life and the lives of others. When you feel compelled to intervene, you can surrender the person and their situation to God, trusting Him to work in ways beyond your comprehension.

    His plans are always good, even when you can’t see that now. Think about how much you care about the person you want to rescue from their pain. Remember that God loves them more than you do. This always helps me when one of my adult children is having a hard time, and I start to get caught in fix-it mom mode. 

    As humans, we have limitations. We cannot change another person or situation. God is the only one who can bring lasting transformation to any person or situation.

    Exodus 14:14 reassures you that “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” You can rest in this promise and let God be God.

    It’s in moments of surrender that you can experience a profound sense of peace and faith. By acknowledging your limitations and placing your trust in God, you invite His wisdom and power to work in the lives of those you care about. 

    In your journey as a Christian, it’s essential to recognize and respect the boundaries of your role in helping others.

    What would happen if you did not quickly try to fix other people’s problems? What would happen if you asked a few questions instead of offering a quick-fix solution? What would happen if you really listened when others were sharing their struggles?

    James 1:19 tells us that we should be quick to listen and slow to speak.

    What can you do instead of trying to fix a person or situation?

    While you can’t fix someone else, you can support and encourage them through prayer and offering a listening ear. By learning to be an attentive listener, you create a safe space for others to share their hearts and find solace in being heard.

    Offering encouragement and understanding can foster a deeper connection with others and demonstrates Christ’s love in a tangible way. Our role is to point others to God and His transformative power. Trusting in God’s sovereignty and understanding that change and growth are ultimately in His hands can provide comfort in challenging situations.

    Ultimately, each person is responsible for their own actions, and until they take ownership of what needs to be done to move forward, there’s nothing you can say or do that will affect change or growth in their life.

    Position yourself as a mom, spouse, friend, or family member who desires to understand the struggle that your family and friends are experiencing. Learn to ask good, clarifying questions that help them explore how they feel, verbally process, and formulate their next steps around the situation they are facing.

    This is the best gift that you can give another person–to truly listen to them and walk alongside them as they walk through hard seasons. May you be known as a person who listens with compassion, trusts in God’s plan, and offers unwavering support. 

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Prostock-Studio

    Renee Bethel, author of Finding Me: A Woman’s Guide to Learning More About Herself is a Professional Christian Life Coach and a Gospel Centered Certified Enneagram Coach. She helps Christian women explore what’s possible and live in alignment with their identity in Christ and their personality so that they have purpose in their second half of life. Renee would love to connect with you on Instagram.

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  • Why We Must Make Family Devotions a Priority

    Why We Must Make Family Devotions a Priority

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    In a Christian home, family devotion is vital. It is a time when family members gather together to worship God, study His Word, pray for one another, and encourage each other with faith. For believers, family devotion is not only a duty but a privilege and a blessing, as it strengthens the bond of love and unity among the family members and helps them grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

    The Bible teaches us that God has instituted the family as the basic unit of society. And He has given parents the responsibility to train their children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). Therefore, parents can fulfill their God-given role as teachers and good examples for their children through family devotions.

    By worshiping God as a family, you demonstrate that you belong to Him and that He is your highest priority. This practice also shows that your home is not conformed to this world but transformed by the renewing of your minds (Romans 12:2). Family devotion also serves as a testimony to the world of the reality and power of the gospel. If done right, family devotion can serve as a means of witnessing to neighbors, friends, relatives, and others who may observe or hear about it. It may even lead some to seek the Lord and His salvation.

    Unlike what most people might think, family devotion is not a burden but a joy. It is not a legalistic ritual but a spontaneous expression of love and gratitude to God. It is a creative opportunity to connect with God and each other and can be done at any time of the day, in any place, and in any way that suits the family’s needs. The important thing is that the family devotes time regularly to honoring God.

    Family devotion is a precious gift from God; it is a means of grace and growth for every Christian home. It serves as a source of peace and comfort in times of trouble and a fountain of joy and hope in times of despair. It is a treasure that we should cherish and guard with all our hearts.

    Your Role as Parents in Family Devotion

    Devotion acts as a method of strengthening the links of love and solidarity among family members while also growing in faith, so the Christian parents’ roles as spiritual leaders in the family are critical.

    Parents have the responsibility and privilege of leading their children in the ways of the Lord and modeling a godly lifestyle for them. As a Christian parent, you are the major spiritual instructor and influence in your children’s lives. You have the chance to inculcate in your children a love for God and His Word, respect for His presence, a passion for His purpose, and a desire to do what He says. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 reminds us, “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” 

    You have the ability and power to encourage spiritual talents in your offspring. You must pray for the protection, guidance, healing, and prosperity of your children. You may give encouragement to your children, as well as reveal God’s promises to them. You may even lay hands on them to receive the anointing and empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

    Therefore, it is your ultimate goal to make family devotion a priority and a habit by designating a certain time and location for it. You may choose resources and ways for family devotion that are suited to your children’s ages and interests. It is also important for parents to make family devotion pleasant and engaging by including their kids in the planning and participation.

    Learn to share your experiences and testimonies with other families and encourage them to do the same. This may encourage them to join or start family groups that gather regularly for family devotion and encourage one another on their spiritual path.

    Benefits of Family Devotion

    Regular devotion time together is one of the most satisfying and joyful activities a Christian family can participate in. It is an excellent method to develop the bonds of love, trust, and faith among household members while also growing closer to God as a family unit. 

    Here are some of the advantages of family devotions and why Christians must make them a priority:

    Family devotions allow you to study and apply God’s Word to real-life circumstances. Families may acquire knowledge, insight, and direction from God’s Word by reading and debating it together and then applying it to their personal and family difficulties. It may also assist families in memorizing and reflecting on significant Scriptures that will encourage and inspire them throughout the day.

    Family devotions develop a prayer and worship culture in the home, during which families may express their gratitude and needs to God by praying and thanking Him together and feeling His presence and peace in their midst. Family devotions may also assist families in interceding for one another, family, friends, neighbors, the church, and the world. Praying and worshiping together may help enhance the family’s love and regard for God and foster a desire to honor Him in all they do.

    Family devotion also boosts each family member’s spiritual growth and development. They may assist each other in their knowledge, understanding, and connection with God through spending time with God together. It also helps parents model and teach their children how to follow Jesus, live according to His will, and share His love with others. Family devotions may also assist kids in developing a personal faith and a virtuous character that will benefit them throughout their lives.

    Psalm 133:1 says, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” Family devotions ultimately help families develop a strong sense of togetherness, identity, and purpose as a God-honoring family. They may experience the gifts of God’s grace, love, and power in their connections with Him and with each other by making family devotions a priority and a routine in their homes.

    Practical Tips for Family Devotions

    A wonderful way for a Christian family to develop faith and love is through family devotion. Though devotions can be difficult to keep up with, here are some helpful suggestions to make your family devotions more enjoyable:

    Pick a regular time and location. Your family may prioritize devotions and stay focused by following a pattern. Whether it’s early in the morning, just after supper, or right before bed, find a time that works for everyone. Choose a calm, comfortable location, like the living room, dining room, or lawn.

    Make use of various resources. There are numerous books, software programs, websites, and podcasts that you can use to give your family devotional content. Use your Bible, hymnal, or prayer book if you choose. Use different resources for various days to vary things. This can maintain your family’s interest and involvement.

    Include all parties. Family devotions involve more than just the parents leading and the kids following. Everyone is welcome to take part and make contributions in various ways. You can alternate between reading the Scripture passage, picking a piece of music, sharing thoughts, asking questions, and praying aloud. Additionally, you can designate roles like leader, reader, prayer leader, or singer.

    Be adaptable and imaginative. Family rituals don’t have to be strict or monotonous. You can modify them to fit the requirements of your household. Depending on your schedule and attention span, you can make them shorter or longer. Through the use of games, crafts, activities, or stories, you can also make them entertaining and engaging.

    Concentrate on the main idea. Family devotions shouldn’t be treated as a lesson or test. They are intended to assist your family in learning more about God and His Word and practical ways to incorporate truth into your daily lives. Avoid getting caught up in the minutiae or disagreements. Keep your attention on the passage’s or lesson’s major topic and how it applies to your family.

    Be transparent and truthful. Family devotions provide a secure forum for communication between members of your family and with God. Be open and honest about your difficulties, your uncertainties, and concerns, as well as your compliments and requests. Encourage one another to listen respectfully and communicate truthfully.

    Pray for one another. Family devotions are a fantastic time for everyone to pray for one another. You can offer prayers for the members’ individual needs or requests and for general blessings or direction. Outside your family, you can also pray for missionaries, friends, and relatives. Praying for one another can deepen your relationship and demonstrate your concern.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/twinsterphoto

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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    Emmanuel Abimbola

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