NEW YORK, February 19, 2024 (Newswire.com)
– Senpai, a new dating app by Makeshift Software, caters to the unique needs of anime fans. By using their shared passion for anime, it allows users to break the ice and make connections more easily.
Anime’s Bright Future
Niche dating apps are the future, according to research done by Social Discovery Group.
Anime has become a major part of today’s modern popular culture. Anime films are performing well at the US box office, and “Luffy”, the main character from the ultra-popular anime “One Piece” was even featured in last year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.
According to Grand View Research, anime’s economic influence will continue to balloon straight into 2030.
Dating is only the beginning for Senpai. The app will grow into a modern hub for all anime fans, with features like networking at conventions and watching anime together via live stream like Twitch. Social networking features are a big target for the company’s roadmap.
The app is currently on the Android Play Store, and will find its way onto the Apple App Store soon. The app is even available in Japan, with the Japanese language being fully supported.
More than likely, there aren’t many people who know your go-to coffee order, the name of your first pet, your biggest fear, and how you’d spend $1 million. You might not even know all of that information about yourself. But quizzing your loved ones about your life can be a fun way to pass the time (and find out how well they know you).
Ever notice how the candy aisle in the grocery store dictates what season it is? When my teenagers were younger, we used to call it the “fun aisle.” I’d say, “Do you all want to go down the fun aisle today and see what they have”? Still today, it’s filled with candy, toys, gifts, dishes, and more!
How is it that we easily want to please our children with candy and toys in the seasonal aisle, but we can let the season we’re in at home steal our attention from our spouse? Sometimes, we can become caretakers to our children and more like roommates to our spouses.
I remember thinking early on in marriage, “Who would ever just become like a roommate to their spouse? Certainly not me because that doesn’t happen to someone who waited so long to get married (I was 33, he was 41 when we got married).” Boy, was I wrong. Becoming more like a roommate can happen to any of us, especially if we aren’t on guard to prioritize our spouse. Little by little, we slip into merely occupying the same physical space but not the same heart space.
It’s easy to justify going to bed without praying together or without giving each other a good night kiss. Sometimes, even leaving your spouse to clean up the dishes from dinner and retreating to bed without an “I love you” or “Thank you for doing the dishes tonight” can lead to further roommate status when you don’t have that time to connect (or the reverse is true in the morning).
It’s easy to give attention to who’s the loudest in the room, and sometimes that’s our children. They demand a lot from us (but we love them!), and sometimes their requests leave us feeling depleted toward our spouse. All perfect set-ups to think, “I’ll talk with her later” or “He knows I love him,” and we slip further away from the love and passion we experienced when we first married.
My husband and I both work from home. We’re grateful that we have work that allows us to be more flexible in our home and work-life flow. People often say, “Oh, you must go out on romantic dates while you’re both home,” and we have done that some. But it’s not as romantic when you have bed hair, smelly breath, and just want to get some caffeine in you after you drop off the kids at school.
I have seen that I can be a happier spouse when I implement just a few things that show I don’t want to become just his roommate but the woman he fell in love with and that he stays in love with.
We all know that, mathematically, seven isn’t a perfect number (its factors don’t add up to 7 – I had to look that one up!). But to God, it was a perfect number. He created everything within six days and rested on the seventh day. Thus, seven is considered complete or perfect.
We are not perfect (we know!), neither is our love for our spouse. But God’s love is perfect and covers us, including how we relate to our spouse. Love is not an easy road moving forward, but actually, love is even more powerful when it comes to the winding paths we take with our spouse and even recovering from the bumps and hills along the way.
No list of things we can do will make marriage more likely to succeed or less likely to feel like you’re polar opposites, just like the earth, moon, and stars when they span the sky and don’t line up (which only happens 4-7 times per year that they line up as an eclipse, according to NASA). Gives new meaning to the hit song “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler, doesn’t it?
So how do we eclipse the thought, “You’re more my roommate than my spouse”? Here are some ideas:
1. It takes an intentional shift, but when you can ask yourself: “How should I show my spouse that I love them by serving them even though they haven’t offered this to me?” It puts your heart in a position of humility to love unconditionally, which spouses have promised to do.
2. When you do a chore or job before your spouse has a chance to do it, it shows them that you took the time to notice something they usually do. It’s a quiet way of saying, “I notice what you do for me.” And if they don’t notice, it puts your heart in a place to receive from God, even if not from your spouse. God is always faithful to meet our needs.
3. Often, we’re so busy doing what we need to do in a day’s time that we don’t stop to ask, “What is a highlight of your day right now? What’s hard for you right now? How are you feeling about (fill in the blank with something you know they are struggling with)? I often try to ask my husband one question like this each morning or evening. Sometimes, I’m not consistent, but I try to show him that I care about him, not just because we live in the same house but because we are one. God sees us as such, and I want to see him as my life partner, not just the person I share a home with.
4. When you ask your spouse: “What is something that I do that annoys you and what is something I do that affirms you?” you can really take care of anything that you aren’t aware of that has come into your relationship. Roommates often move on or move out and don’t always address what might be between them. This is where overcoming the roommate syndrome can really be advantageous for you both as a couple to move past barriers.
5. One day I noticed that my husband was always last to sit down at dinner. It felt like I was either eating by myself at the table or with whatever kids were home at the time. Finally, I asked him about it, and he said, “Growing up, it bothered me that dirty dishes were in the sink, so now it’s hard for me to sit down and eat when there are dirty dishes in the sink from food prep.” After almost 20 years of marriage, that was so helpful to know. He wasn’t avoiding conversation or sitting with me at the table; he wanted to take care of the dishes. Unless you ask the questions on your mind, you can’t grow closer to understanding each other and your backgrounds.
6. Showing romantic love toward your spouse can look different for men and women. Men often receive love through physical expression and women through emotional empathy and listening. When we flip sides and start thinking more about how our spouse likes to receive love, it can help us to see that in a healthy marriage, one partner is not more need-oriented or selfish. Both need to express themselves in a romantic relationship. It’s not always about what your spouse needs from you, but what you can express that will draw your spouse to you. That’s true love!
7. It doesn’t get lost on me that when I disappoint my husband, or he disappoints me, there is a safety net that catches us. I want to be the one who doesn’t hold something against him but releases him into the net. God will meet him there, and God will meet me when I crash into the net. It’s natural to blame or shift the focus onto the other person, but when we can treat our spouse with forgiveness and a deep love that roommates don’t have, like a married couple, we are able to say, “I forgive you, and my life is matched with yours and yours with mine. You aren’t perfect, and I am not, but we are loved by a God who thought enough of us to bring us together and to help us walk out living as life partners, not just temporary roommates.”
Do you know the one thing that is good about getting older? We literally forget more easily! Our brains have been retaining so much knowledge and carry so much. I find that if we feel more like roommates one day, we get the chance to start over, and often, one of us will forget something the other said. Roommates often hold onto words because it’s all they have. But spouses let go of words said that don’t line up with who the person is and instead love them faithfully as if you can’t live without them. This is the bond of married couples that God has put in us because he values the covenant relationship between him and each other. So much so that he gives us seasons in life and seasons in our marriage. It’s not easy, but like a kid in the “fun aisle,” we can enjoy the aisle we have walked down together and continue to look for the treats in life that we get to experience together.
Blythe Danielis a literary agent, author, and marketer. Her agency markets books through podcasts, blogs, and launch teams and represents books to publishers. Blythe was the publicity director for Thomas Nelson Publishers and has been a literary agent for the past 16 years. Blythe has written for Proverbs 31 Ministries, Ann Voskamp, Focus on the Family, CCM Magazine, Christian Retailing, and others. Blythe and her mother have co-authored two books: Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters (Harvest House) and I Love You Mom: Cherished Word Gifts from My Heart to Yours (Tyndale). She is married and lives in Colorado with her family.
My husband and I have been married for twenty-three years. The first few Valentine’s Days we spent together were very romantic as each one of us tried to demonstrate our love to each other with grander gestures each year.
However, as the years went on, it became more difficult to think about the upcoming Valentine’s Day or how to show each other love in ways we hadn’t previously.
Some years we felt we had gotten stuck in a rut in our marriage and were just going through the motions. We simply did things just to please the other person, and not because we really felt like it.
Although feelings are not the ultimate indicators of whether we should show love to each other, it does make a difference. Deep feelings create a sense of motivation and urgency. When we feel motivated by something, we’re more apt to do it.
Because love matures, we have had to understand truly the meaning of the word love.
Agape love is defined as, “…in the New Testament, the fatherly love of God for humans, as well as the human reciprocal love for God. In Scripture, the transcendent agape love is the highest form of love and is contrasted with eros, or erotic love, and philia, or brotherly love.”
We often throw the word love around for different things, diminishing the word’s meaning. For example, we may say we love ice cream, and we say we love our spouse. However, we love our spouses differently than we love inanimate objects.
Love is not just something to make us feel good; it’s an action that is centered around the other person’s thoughts and feelings.
Here are 5 characteristics that I have learned about true, agape love:
1. True Love Means Humility
True love cannot occur if both parties are set in their ways and too prideful to acknowledge the other person’s thoughts and feelings.
It is difficult to strike a balance between meeting your own needs and wanting to serve the other person. However, if we change our mindset to one that our lives are in service to the other, we will understand true love.
With love, we put aside our pride and humble ourselves. We apologize when necessary. We work out our differences in kind, loving ways. We resolve to end conflict and not let it fester.
When we lay down our pride and replace it with humility, we experience a love that goes deeper than any other relationship we can experience here on earth.
2. True Love Means Forgiveness
Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is your spouse. This is because they see the best and worst of us. They know our strengths and our weaknesses and sometimes they use it for their own selfish gain, and sometimes we do the same to them.
However, that’s not love. To love means we forgive other people’s offenses even when they’ve done it multiple times.
Forgiveness means to put the past behind us and choose not to remember it anymore. God chooses to remember our sins no more; that is how he chooses to forgive. But that does not mean he doesn’t remember; he simply chooses not to remember it.
It’s the same with us. We cannot forget past hurt and pain. However, as we forgive others the way we’ve been forgiven, the pain becomes less and less.
God, in his sovereignty, puts salve on our wounds and heals them so that we can forgive our spouses because we realize the grace that has been given to us.
3. True Love Means Repentance
Repentance makes it easier for our spouses to forgive us, and vice versa. Simply saying sorry and asking someone to forgive, only to do the act again, is not true repentance.
True repentance paves the way for intimacy, trust, and deeper bonds both with our spouses and with God.
It is not easy to change old, sinful habits into new, healthier ones, but with God’s help, anything is possible. Repentance requires that we go to God to acknowledge our sins, and we humbly ask for his forgiveness.
Once we live in the knowledge of that forgiveness, we choose to not do that behavior anymore, not only because it hurts us, but also hurts our relationships with others.
Repentance means to do an “about face.” That means we literally turn away from our selfish acts and turn towards the demonstration of the fruit of the spirit to others.
Repentance is a necessary component of true, agape love that we can have for our spouses.
4. True Love Means Intimacy
Many relationships struggle because although the physical intimacy is there, the emotional intimacy is not. Many wives can feel a part of their relationship is missing because their husbands are not emotionally available to them.
While some men have difficulty with emotions, it is an important part of their overall well-being. It is important for men to get in touch with their emotions so that they can empathize and comfort their wives during difficult times. And it is important for wives to be there for their husbands as they go against society to learn this skill.
When a woman’s emotional needs are met, more than likely she will reciprocate in a physical way.
While it’s true that men and women may differ on how they feel the most loved, whether through emotional or physical intimacy, both parties need to be for each other and seek to meet each other’s needs, not their own.
5. True Love Means to Exhibit the Fruit of the Spirit
When the fruits of the spirit are evident in our lives, our relationships thrive. However, when those fruits are missing, relationships get reduced to both parties trying to meet their own selfish needs.
The fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, kindness, and self-control (Gal 5:22-23). When we seek to add these into our lives, we become better people. When we become better people, we want to be better people for our spouses whom we love the most.
No longer are we looking for others to meet our ultimate needs, but rather we have our identity solidified in Christ. All these fruits have one thing in common: they seek to be others-centered. We can’t be selfish when we’re exhibiting these types of fruits in our lives.
A person who wants to develop more fruit of the spirit knows that to be the best person they can be, they must have their foundational emotional needs met by God. They need to have their identity solidified in Him and understand that their worth and value were settled on the cross, not in other people’s opinions of them.
When they can reconcile this in their minds and hearts, they will seek to be people who strive to be tangible representations of Christ.
Love is a word that gets thrown around a lot in our society. But few of us know what true love really is.
As Christians, we understand what true love is as we look at the witness of Christ. However, we may feel as if we fall short because we are not like Christ and won’t be in this lifetime.
However, we can strive to emulate Christ’s example by being humble, forgiving others, repenting of our selfish behaviors, meeting others’ emotional needs and exhibiting the fruit of spirit in our lives.
When we can do these things, we will understand what true love is. Once we understand that true love, we want to give it to others, including our spouses!
Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor’s wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Who God Wants Me to Be encourages girls to discover God’s plan for their careers. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.
There’s no mistake or mystery about this. He regularly publicizes his belief.
It’s not as though I haven’t tried to dissuade him. John just doubles down, citing his education for his unwavering opinion. “I have an art degree.”
What am I to do?
I’ve highlighted my height (or lack thereof). I’ve addressed the ugly—yet unyielding—growth around my girth. Unlike my cute niece, my face lacks dimples.
He only shakes his head. To date, he still clings to the belief that I’m not pretty.
That’s because he thinks I’m very pretty.
I’m not telling you his opinion to brag about my beauty. John is just super biased.
Let’s just say his view and mine widely diverge.
The real reason I share this tidbit is to show one of the many benefits of marrying God’s pick.
(Not that I’m insinuating marriage should happen only because of the bride’s beauty or the groom’s broad shoulders. All things equal, however, wouldn’t you rather navigate life with a spouse enraptured, instead of unimpressed, by your looks?)
John’s and my road to marriage held more stop signs than most. We both had to wait—and wait—before the Lord’s candidate for us materialized. We puttered around in Single Town long after fellow singletons found the elusive exit.
But it’s precisely this background that qualifies me to issue a warning: Please don’t walk down the aisle for these wrong reasons:
You might think it makes sense to cure loneliness by getting hitched. After all, people are the best antidote for loneliness. Right?
Nope. You can feel lonely regardless of the presence of others. This means you can feel lonely even in a marriage.
Using marriage as an escape hatch won’t work. Nobody—including your spouse—can successfully meet all of your emotional needs, of which loneliness is one.
Consider a better strategy. While both married people and singles will always have a reason to keep working on themselves, it’s advantageous to work through your emotional needs while you’re still unattached. Since deep calls unto deep (Psalm 42:7), your emotional soundness will attract a partner with a similar disposition.
Isn’t it better for you and your betrothed to enter marriage without baggage?
Age
Back in my single days—before WhatsApp exploded in fame—I once received a phone call from my mother’s uncle. The elderly relative thought the following wisdom was important enough to impart, he placed an international call regardless of the exorbitant cost. “Don’t be so career-minded that you’re neglecting marriage!”
“Yes,” I answered. The pithy shortcut had to suffice. I wasn’t about to elaborate with “Actually, I’m staying single because I’m waiting for God’s best for me, not because I’m too wrapped up in work.”
I’m sure you have your own war stories. From family pressures to those that arise from your ever-increasing age—which, of course, directly relates to your biological clock and the ability to bear children—it’s understandable if a prolonged state of singleness drives you desperate for marriage.
But getting married because of anything other than because it’s God’s will for you is bound to backfire. Even if a divorce doesn’t dash your marriage, your union may not feel fulfilling—the opposite of Jesus’ mission to bring us life more abundantly (John 10:10, MEV).
To experience that abundant life in the context of marriage, abandon any other prospects. Ask Him to matchmake for you instead.
Shapes and Sex
Should you marry someone you’re not physically attracted to? Well, no. Sexual attraction is a crucial component of marriage.
At the same time, neither should you marry because of physical attraction only. Whether we like it or not, “beauty is fleeting” (Proverbs 31:30).
How fleeting?
As flitting as a flower in bloom. “All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, when the breath of the Lord blows upon it; the people are indeed grass!” (Isaiah 40: 6-7, NASB).
Someone who pledges to spend forever with you primarily for your looks can renege once youth and its accouterments fade.
Then there’s sex. Many young Christians rush to get married so as not to commit sexual sins as a single person. Given the scriptural admonition to “avoid sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3), their intention is understandable.
However, God’s remedy for sexual urges is not marriage. Instead, whether single or married, we are to “learn to control our own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister” (1 Thessalonians 4:4-6).
Marriage encompasses so much more than sex. There are couples who remain married and love each other even without a vibrant sex life. Conversely, there are those who indulge in lewd sexual activities but can’t make a marriage last.
Choosing Marriage
Different formats exist when it comes to today’s intimate relationships. For instance, some read “don’t get married for the wrong reasons” as “don’t get married.” The increase in cohabitation rates attests to the popularity of practicing sex outside marital bonds.
Friends with benefits adds another possibility. This arrangement happens when so-called friends agree to trade sexual favors for each other, minus any romantic entanglement.
Some aspire to chuck monogamy altogether. Enter polyamory, a form of relationship that allows participants to conduct intimate relationships with multiple partners at once.
If engaging in any of these acts edified us, God would’ve specified them in His Word, along with tips for best practices. The Holy Spirit would’ve inspired the Apostle Paul to craft guidelines on having holy polyamory when he penned 1 Corinthians 7, the chapter on singles and sex.
Listen, instead, to how God elevates marriage: “Have respect for marriage. Always be faithful to your partner, because God will punish anyone who is immoral or unfaithful in marriage” (Hebrews 13:4, CEV).
Marriage is a good thing. More importantly, it’s a God thing.
If you’re in the market for marriage, please trust your Maker to pick your mate. Ask God to direct your steps and sensitize your hearing. This way, “your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left” (Isaiah 30:21)—all the way until your path intersects that of your future spouse.
Nobody who hopes in Him will be ashamed (Psalm 25:3)—including regarding matters of the heart.
But if relationship issues stump you, no matter what your relationship status is, send your inquiry to my advice column.
Audrey Davidheiser, PhD is a California licensed psychologist, certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, and IFSI-approved clinical consultant. After founding and directing a counseling center for the Los Angeles Dream Center, she now devotes her practice to survivors of trauma—including spiritual abuse. If you need her advice, visit her on www.aimforbreakthrough.comand Instagram @DrAudreyD.
Just in time for Valentine’s Day comes one of the worst dating horror stories ever… and it all started with a DNA test.
Victoria Hill was concerned about a health issue which was apparently genetic — but was confused when her parents had never had any symptoms. So she got a 23andMe DNA test, and got the second biggest shock of her life. She had a couple dozen siblings she never knew about!
No, her dad wasn’t an ’80s version of Nick Cannon. It turned out she wasn’t her father’s daughter at all! Her parents had gone to a fertility doctor in the ’80s, and turns out the doc had used his own sperm! ICK! This was not something her mother was aware of — and definitely not something she consented to! Sadly this doctor, a guy named Burton Caldwell, was apparently one of those creeps who used his own sperm for as many pregnancies as he could.
Victoria learned the shocking truth from some of her newly discovered siblings, who had already put all this together — and found her after her DNA test. There are 22 of them at last count. Crazy. If you’re thinking this story sounds familiar, unfortunately you’re right. There have been several of these doctors who have done this over the years, decided they’d just donate their own genes, whether mothers wanted them or not. So gross.
CNN found as part of their nationwide investigation that most states, including Connecticut where Victoria is from, don’t even have a law against this fertility fraud, as it’s known. Doctors just get away with it — and often continue practicing even after being caught! Heck, it’s been a known problem so long they did a Law & Order episode about it in the ’90s! Scary stuff…
But it gets worse. Remember we said that was the second biggest shock of Victoria’s life? And that this was a dating horror story?
Yeah, unfortunately Victoria learned one of her unknown half-siblings was… her high school boyfriend! Yes, for real! She told CNN:
“I was traumatized by this. Now I’m looking at pictures of people thinking, well, if he could be my sibling, anybody could be my sibling.”
Not only did she date this guy for a considerable amount of time, they had a sexual relationship! She slept with her half-brother! And she says she very easily could have married him if things had gone slightly differently! Apparently this is the first documented case of two fertility fraud siblings unknowingly hooking up. But seriously, how the heck is this legal?!
Learn Victoria’s full story — and more about how common fertility fraud is — HERE!
“The Bachelor” picked up Tuesday night with Maria walking out of the cocktail party saying that she wanted to go home. “I’m trying to navigate this with grace,” Lea said to Joey. It’s really ridiculous that she inserted herself in this situation. “I’m just trying to put my best foot forward.”
Gina: The part that got me was when Lea noted that Maria was leaving the castle and “we were all confused.” I nearly spit out my water. Girl, YOU DID THAT!
Madina went out to Maria and told her that she wasn’t alone. “That’s an awful feeling and I want you to know that you are not alone,” she said. Madina really is a sweet, yet emotional person. Jesse Palmer chose that moment to “ding, ding!” and end the cocktail party.
Maria gathers herself and walks into where the group of women is lined up and waiting for Joey. Remember, she already has a rose from the two-on-one date.
Rose Ceremony
1) Lexi (1-on-1 date)
2) Kelsey T. (group date)
3) Maria (2-on-1 date)
4) Kelsey A.
5) Katelyn
6) Daisy
7) Rachel
8) Jenn
9) Autumn
10) Jess
11) Madina
12) Lea
I suppose he had to keep Lea because she’s bringing the drama. That meant Allison and Edwina were eliminated. Maria vowed not to run and to keep her eye on the prize: Joey. He announced they were all heading to Andalusia, Spain!
Gina: Edwina said that she was proud to be going home knowing she gave 100% and she’s right. I liked her a lot! Also, what was that little smirk Lea gave when Daisy was called? I want to know. Also, that she almost tripped when she got back to her place felt like a little Lea karma. Just me?
Women Arrive in Spain
The women hoped for a fresh start without drama, but I have a feeling, as I’m sure most of Bachelor Nation does, there’s no avoiding drama. Joey met up with the woman by riding in on a Vespa. Kelsey A. said her grandma is actually from this part of Spain. “Kelsey A., would you like to jump on that Vespa and get out of here?” he asked her. She happily jumped up and zipped away with Joey. Maria asked the other women as they watched Kelsey ride away, if they had gotten the Lea card, where they could steal a one-on-one, would they have used it in that moment. Kelsey T. said she would have kept it, but she’s not sure if she would have used it or not. Lea spoke up and said that if she had to “cheat” to get a one-on-one she didn’t want it, she wanted to wait to get her turn. Maria nodded. Kelsey T. walked away and cried because she was sad she didn’t get the one-on-one.
Gina: I like that Maria tried to really wipe the slate clean and toasted to all the women there. Lea, of course, is showing her true colors and you’re right, Jen, there is no avoiding drama. Maria wishes you were not right!
Kelsey A.’s 1-on-1 date
Kelsey A. hoped that she wasn’t too far behind the other women who already had one-on-one dates. Joey took Kelsey A. to a shop to get food for a picnic. They also did a bit of wine tasting. Then they went for a walk, played some soccer, and a couple told them they would have a happy future because the fountain they visited was magic. We’ll see! They each tossed a coin in and made a wish. Joey said the day felt very natural and they definitely have chemistry!
That evening, they went to a 13th-century bathhouse for dinner. Joey told her that he felt butterflies with her. Kelsey A. said that it was so great to have a full day to get to know him and strengthen their relationship. She shared that her mom and dad met in the military and her mom was even soldier of the year multiple times. Ten years ago, she got breast cancer and it metastasized to her bones, she had six months to live, but she died after two months. Kelsey A. cried as she shared this with Joey. “I know at the end there is an engagement but it’s hard to think of my mom not being at my wedding,” she said. “I think she’d like you.”
Joey appreciated everything that Kelsey A. shared with him. It was no surprise that he offered her the date rose! As they walked outside, a man serenaded them with a guitar and they danced and kissed into the night. “I guess I might be starting to fall for Joey!” Kelsey A. said.
Gina: They’re really trying to make me cry with these heartfelt conversations, aren’t they? I’ve lost both my parents and those realizations that you’re not able to share the big life moments and even the small ones really hit you. Kudos to Kelsey A. for being able to talk about it with Joey. And kudos to Joey for being so sweet and understanding.
Date Card Arrives
Back with the women, Kelsey T. continued to cry. Rachel tried to lend a supportive ear, but she was just struggling. “Today felt very real,” she said to the whole group. There was a knock at the door. The date card read, “Lexi, Daisy, Jenn, Autumn, Maria, Katelyn, Madina, Lea, Jess, and Kelsey T. Our love is a work of art.” That means that Rachel was going to get a one-on-one!
Group Date
In Marbella, the group of women met up with Joey at a villa. Paula, a mixed-media artist, she asked them to write a quote about their life and feelings for Joey. They also had to paint something that conveyed that quote. Lea just kept talking about how she wished Maria wasn’t there. Maria painted a picture of their two-on-one date.
Joey’s painting was of himself holding an engagement ring. Daisy liked that included a ring because it showed it was top of mind. The paintings and sayings were very sweet by all of the women. Jess was the one that won! They had to get in their bathing suits because they were going to do some couples painting, with their bodies! They rolled all over a blanket canvas with their very painted selves. They had a great time!
Later on, they had a cocktail party where they could have some one-on-one conversations. Jenn was first. He told her he did take notice of her painting and loved the reminder of the fun time and connection they have. “I see a real future, I see something that can build,” he said. Kelsey T. shared a little bit of the internal struggle she’s having. Joey told her to hang in there.
Gina: I mentioned this last night, their connection seems super strong and I like where it’s going.
Maria shared with Joey that her mom left and she wasn’t around. They were in a very bad accident when she was 1 year old. Her car seat was in pieces and she was declared dead at the scene but managed somehow to be revived and is a walking miracle. Her mother broke every bone in her body, went through an awful depression, and wasn’t around for most of her childhood. Her dad fought for her and stayed there to remain married. So it seems they eventually worked everything out. She describes her mother and her relationship as “a work in progress.” In the end, he offered her the date rose! Lea could have spit nails! “My heart is in my *expletive*,” she said. “I thought she was the last person this rose could have gone to.”
Gina: Well, Lea, you are not Joey. So your opinion on who gets the date rose is not relevant here. Also, she had the audacity to say that Maria was putting on a good performance. Really? I believe it’s Lea who had us all believing she was more mature than she really is. Just sayin’.
Rachel’s 1-on-1 Date
Rachel’s date card said, “Bailamos mi amor.” They would be going dancing! Joey was excited to see her because he said there was a spark and level of ease between them. They walked to a Flamenco show! Rachel said that she’s always wanted to see this in real life. Joey looked so funny in his shorts and Flamenco boots. You really need some pants with those, ha ha! After some practice, they got to take part in the Flamenco show in front of a real audience. Thankfully, they wore real Flamenco outfits, so he had some pants with his dance boots.
Gina: Dear ABC, the next time I interview Joey, I’d ask that he wears shorts and flamenco boots because that was a serious VIBE! I’m with you, Jen, on being glad they went with traditional flamenco garb for their performance.
They walked around in the evening and visited a local pizzeria. It was beautiful inside! Rachel said that she’s a slow burn and doesn’t share too much but she wanted to share some of the big points. She talked about how important nursing is to her. It’s a tough job, especially because she works in the ICU. “I am deserving of what you have to offer,” Rachel said. Yes! It’s sad that she ever felt like she wasn’t! Joey was so happy that she felt that way with him and that he reminds her of her dad. He offered her the date rose! “With us, I can just be and this rose is to let you know I’m all in on the slow burn,” Joey said. “I’m excited about the potential future.” Cute! Once she had the rose comfortably in hand, she walked with Joey to the beach where they watched a fireworks display just for them!
Gina: ICU nurses deserve the world, period, end of story. Rachel, you are awesome and I love your spirit. If I’m being honest, I was questioning their connection. I wasn’t sure it was there! I’m glad to be wrong about it and that they had this moment tonight.
Cocktail Party
The next day, Joey and Jesse played some tennis and got a good workout in. But, it’s already time for another rose ceremony. Joey looked very handsome as he arrived for the cocktail party. Daisy asked him how he was doing and he said that he means the best through the situation and wants to be sensitive through all of the emotions. He told her that he hoped she’s doing OK, and she said that there was no place else she’d rather be. “Daisy is 100% someone I could fall in love with.”
Gina: Thank you, Joey, for clearing that up. We weren’t sure how you were feeling. KIDDING! We can all see there are true feelings there. Even in the moments we don’t hear them talking, when Daisy and Joey are near each other, they both light up.
Jess is worried that her connection with Joey is more in her head. She’s trying to not compare herself to others but the nerves are creeping in. Maria stole him away from Katelyn and Jess did not like that. Maria already has a rose so Jess felt she had no business cutting in. Katelyn added that she’d probably want more time too and she was nice about it. Maria is brewing up another enemy it seems!
I was wondering why Jess was holding back on getting up and it’s because she felt because she got extra time on the group date with him, she should let the other girls go first. Well, all’s fair in love and war, Jess. Maria came back from talking with Joey and Jess said it was disrespectful. She then accused Maria of shutting her down. Maria said she’s already in a situation with Lea and she wants Jess to stay out of it. Then Jess started calling her a B****. Yikes. Of course, Lea was there to comfort her. Jess never got time! Maybe she should have gotten up to talk to him… just sayin…
Gina: This is exactly what I was yelling at my TV screen. If you’re so worried about not getting time, get up and go to him!! Jess is just mad that Maria did what she should have. Also, I’d like to note that Jess is 24 and Lea is 23. The immaturity in their little vent session was extremely obvious.
Rose Ceremony
1) Kelsey A. (1-on-1 date)
2) Maria (group date)
3) Rachel (1-on-1 date)
4) Jenn
5) Kelsey T.
6) Daisy
7) Lea
8) Lexi
9) Katelyn
10) Jess
Oh my goodness, that means we have two girls in the house now who hate Maria. I’m actually a bit nervous for her. Autumn and Madina were sent home.
Gina: It’s gonna get worse before it gets better in the drama department. Also, Autumn, Madina, we’ll see you on Bachelor In Paradise, won’t we? There are some good Bachelor Nation guys out there. I think you’ll do well.
Coming Up
Next week, Joey and the women traveled west to Montreal. It seems that the women’s insecurities are going to start raring up and the women are having a hard time seeing each other go on dates with him. It shows a preview of the final weeks and Joey said his worst nightmare is coming true. We see a rose and Joey crying at the podium. “I can’t think that’s happened before,” Joey said. What could it be? Does he propose and someone rejects him? This is really upping the tension and we aren’t even at hometowns yet!
Don’t miss new episodes of Joey’s season of “The Bachelor” on Monday nights on ABC and streaming the next day on Hulu.
“Digital Boday Language” (DBL) is the non-verbal subtext of digital interactions, such as emojis, punctuation, message length, and response time.
In an online world, 77% of Hinge daters say DBL reveals a lot about a match’s intentions.
Hinge, the online dating app, released the first Gen Z D.A.T.E. Report in February. The D.A.T.E. (Data, Advice, Trends, and Expertise) report surveyed 15,000 daters to explain top dating trends and tips among Gen Z.
Hinge
Statistics from Hinge’s 2024 Gen Z D.A.T.E. Report
So here is how to have good DBL according to Hinge’s experts.
Lack of communication
Logan Ury, Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science, says don’t assume a lack of texting indicates a lack of interest. While response time can sometimes be an indication Ury suggests paying closer attention to the actions and intentions behind the message.
Leaving people on read is a common Gen Z trait, but with 2 out of 3 Hinge daters saying they look at response time when deciding if someone is interested in them it’s important to respond in a timely matter.
Set expectations
No one is a mind reader, so don’t be afraid to be upfront with your texting style and how often you expect others to reach out.
A suggestion of Ury’s is to ask for smaller effort text like “thinking of you” text or memes, if you are looking for more contact.
Initiate the convo
Step out of your comfort zone and send the first message. 3 out of 4 Hinge daters say initiating the conversation is a clear sign someone is interested.
Also, make sure to proofread your message because 49% of people surveyed said they get “the ick” from bad spelling or grammar.
Dating is a journey and DBL is most anxiety-ridden in the beginning, so hang in there.
For more information on how to embrace “Cringe Mode” and initiating the “What Are We?” convo, read Hinge’s 2024 Gen Z D.A.T.E. Report.
Valentine’s Day is that famous point of year where magic is in the air, there’s a twinkle in your eye, and you confess your romantic feelings by inflicting diabetes through excessive chocolate foisting.
For all the rest of us who are forever alone on this day, your lovelorn friends at Twinfinite have got the perfect consolation prize with this list of games where your character can get married.
We are excluding games where the sole objective is dating, because that’s cheating, and we all know cheating is toxic for a relationship. If you’re keen on that kind of content, you might like to browse our list of great dating sims, or learn about why the dating sim genre is so popular.
Please don’t point out that I wrote both of those articles. I’m not sad, I’m just surrounded by handsome fictional men.
Story of Seasons
Image Source: Marvelous Games
Since those nostalgic days playing Harvest Moon on the SNES, the franchise now known as Story of Seasons has offered a selection of eligible townsfolk for you to woo and wed. After all, the best thing for running your stables is, undoubtedly, a stable relationship.
The latest entry, 2023’s remake of the GameCube title Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life, only has eight candidates for marriage, but they’re all so charming it’s still worth the effort. You can seduce them in the conventional manner, by engaging them in uplifting discussions and gifting them with their favorite items.
Or, you can play the role of sleazy creeper by tracking down their hidden diaries to ascertain exactly what their darkest desires crave. Maybe it’ll be a fun story to tell your grandkids later on. Or maybe, it’ll result in a restraining order. Only one way to find out, so let’s hunt down those juicy farmin’ secrets.
Final Fantasy XIV
Image Source: Square Enix
Do you remember back when you were a little kid, and you swore to your mother you would marry a catgirl someday? Oh, how she laughed, but who’s laughing now, mom? Me and my super cute Miqo’te waifu, that’s who.
Final Fantasy XIV doesn’t have traditional marriage, but instead, the Ceremony of Eternal Bonding. You’ll be able to invite 40 of your closest friends — or your worst enemies, just to keep them in check — and exchange rings with your betrothed.
This bling will allow you to teleport directly next to your partner, which makes the Ceremony of Eternal Bonding a helpful option if you like to adventure with your sweetheart. The Ceremony of Eternal Bondage, on the other hand, is much less romantic but I hear the fanart is quite stunning.
Skyrim
Image Source: Bethesda Softworks
Bethesda’s seminal open world RPG is an intense, heroic romp where you must slay foul beasts, save the planet, and shout with pure ferocity at thine foes. With that being said, it does have a marriage feature, so if you’d prefer you can shout with pure ferocity at your spouse, instead.
Though you’re not able to pick from every single one of the various races in the kingdom (no Khajiit means my kitty waifu dreams are over before they ever really began), there’s still an extensive roster for the discerning Dragonborn.
Married life has its own benefits, including skill-learning bonuses or delicious meals that boost your Health, Stamina, and Magicka. I’m not sure what kind of affectionate cooking Borgakh the orc warrior has within her repertoire, but it almost certainly involves meat. Maybe just don’t ask what kind of meat.
Fire Emblem
Image Source: Nintendo
Marriage between two units has been a mechanic in Fire Emblem for quite some time, and is still ongoing to this day on the Nintendo Switch. Engage’s Alear can form an eternal bond with their beloved, and Byleth can cross the boundaries of appropriate teaching conduct by taking the hand of one of their former students. May I suggest Raphael?
Never was the function quite as prevalent as it was on the 3DS. In both Awakening and Fates, nearly all of your colleagues can wed one another, producing a child unit who shares in their unique traits. It’s up to you whether you want to pair the two best suited to one another in-universe, or just awkwardly mash them together in the hopes of their offspring being really handy with a lance.
Alas, Western audiences were robbed of Fire Emblem Fates’ true potential; in the original Japanese release, marrying an ally would lead to a mini game where you could lovingly stroke their face. It was weird as hell, and in the end you probably just ended up poking Felicia in the eye repeatedly until she demanded a divorce.
Love is fickle, I guess. Now back to the relentless poking.
Tomodachi Life
Image Source: Nintendo
Living on a remote island sure has its advantages, and you’d be surprised just who ends up moving in. While I was playing Tomodachi Life, I was resolute that LeBron James was destined to marry Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada.
It took some hard work — as well as deterring the interferences of the lovestruck Margaret Thatcher, who was convinced that LeBron should have eyes only for her — but eventually the pair fell in love, got married, and moved to a quiet abode nearby.
This barely scratches the surface of this game’s potential for matchmaking bliss. You can create a Mii lookalike based on yourself, and tie the knot with your childhood crush. Or you can let fate take its course and wait until two neighbors take an interest in one another.
The result is a baby that ages at an alarming rate, and upon reaching their teenage years is sent off on an endless mission to travel the world. It’s not exactly model parenting, but I never picked Miranda as the motherly type in the first place.
Fable
Image Source: Lionhead Studios
Up to this point, this list has been a mostly romantic affair. Meet someone, fall in love, and join one another in holy matrimony.
Action RPG Fable plays its cards a little differently, on the other hand, as not every marriage is smooth sailing, and you’ll have to work hard to keep your spouse appeased. Treat them poorly enough and they’ll call the whole thing off — and yet, they can count themselves lucky.
For you see, if you are well and truly through with the old ball and chain, you can elect to instead murder them and put yourself back on the market. Perhaps on your Tinder profile, you can imply that you’re “dangerous” in order to build intrigue.
Would you swipe right on a murderer? I’m not picky, myself. Technically I think I’m married to a Probopass at this point in time.
Stardew Valley
Image via Blue_Starkiller
Considering it is almost eight years old at this point, we can’t exactly proclaim Stardew Valley to be the new kid on the farming sim block anymore. Despite this, it’s still a huge deal, and the discourse rages on as to whom in Pelican Town is the most eligible bachelor/bachelorette/béchamel sauce.
By building up your affection with the various denizens, you’ll undergo a series of events that reveal their true character. This allows you to really get to know them over a sustained period of time before you deign to pop that important question.
If you’re feeling indecisive, please take a moment to consider the above image of a shirtless, muscular, and hirsute Clint. As this is merely the result of a third party mod and not in fact representative of actual gameplay, it is largely irrelevant to this piece.
And yet, grrrrrrr, daddy, am I right?
The Sims
Image Source: Maxis Studios
For generations, the Sims games have been a realistic facsimile for the trials and tribulations of a long life. Just like us, the Sims can fall desperately in love, get married, and settle down with a baby. Just like us, sometimes everything catches fire and one Sim is forever haunted by the ethereal presence of their deceased lover.
That’s probably the worst case scenario, and in fairness, I’m not always haunted by the ethereal presence of my deceased lover (it’s only in the evenings, and all day on the weekend unless it’s football season). Your love-filled Sims session might pan out much better.
The safest way to ensure this is by reading our list of the best Sims 4 mods, so I recommend you do that now. If you don’t, well, I hope you don’t mind hanging out with the ghosts of those you failed, you heartless wretch.
My Time (Series)
Image Source: Pathea Games
In the same vein as Story of Seasons and Stardew Valley, the My Time games plonk you in the middle of a struggling society and task you with restoring it. In My Time at Portia, you’ll do so as a famous builder. In My Time at Sandrock, you’ll do much the same except with sand! Glorious.
Once again, gifts are the name of the game, and you’ll have to listen hard if you’re keen on courting one of several eligible parties. Sandrock’s range of romanceable characters includes a tightlipped doctor, a recent divorcee, and a hardened criminal.
Different strokes for different folks, I’m actually inclined to believe the doctor would be the least considerate in the bedroom. These are the kinds of things I think about when I’m playing the video games.
BitLife
Image Source: Candywriter
Look, marriage isn’t some treasured thing for all of us. Some folks just want to secure a suitable partner, procreate, and then spend the rest of our existence in quiet disdain. You might find it passionless, I’d prefer to think of it as highly efficient.
In the life simulator BitLife, your goal is to guide a particular soul toward your preferred destination. You might want to see them become a world-renowned athlete, or maybe you’d like for them to pursue a career in the porn industry. Either way, little BitLife child, just know that your mumsy and dada are very proud.
Marriage is of course a possibility, and you can even be coerced into an arranged marriage. If you refuse, your digital parents may push the issue until you’ve become completely estranged from the family and are banished from the lineage forevermore. I think at one point I implied that this was supposed to be a romantic article, so my (in)sincerest apologies for leaving things on a sour note. I ain’t got Valentime for this nonsense.
We hope you enjoyed this passionate compendium of games where your character can get married. Perhaps you’ll feel inspired to try them for yourself, or even to go out and have a shotgun wedding at the earliest opportunity? Seems a bit drastic to me, but you do you, boo.
About the author
Tony Cocking
A miserable little pile of secrets. Unabashed Nintendo stan, Resident Evil fancier and obscure anime enthusiast who insists everything is funnier when the rule of three is applied. Oh, and once I saw a blimp!
All weddings are happy. It’s living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
Mrs. Billy Graham was asked, “Have you ever considered divorce?” “No,” she responded. “Murder many times but never divorce!”
It sometimes feels like my marriage is this tiny outpost in the middle of enemy territory, and the enemy is shooting at us from every side! This world is not the friend of marriage. The good news is that God is the friend of marriage. Marriage is God’s plan, his idea, and his design.
I know you are just like me. You want a great marriage, but you may feel that your marriage has endured too much pain and that there is no hope of improvement. But, no matter where you are or where you have been in your marriage, the rest of your marriage can be the best part of it.
Dan and I have been married for 46 years. Our marriage is stronger and better than it has ever been. Let me share some of the keys to a healthy marriage God has taught us along the way.
Key one: When the going gets tough, the tough stay right where they are!
Ephesians 5:31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
An essential key to a successful marriage is commitment. The Spanish explorer Cortes knew what commitment was. He insisted on it from his men when they landed in Mexico to invade the land of the Aztecs. Sensing the crew’s fear and hesitation, he gathered them all onshore and set fire to the ships. Cortez turned to his men and said, “Now, there can be no turning back.”
That is the kind of commitment we need in our marriages. But unfortunately, we live in a world of “throw-away” marriages. If it doesn’t work, we throw the relationship away and find another, but Jesus is big on commitment. Jesus told a parable about a man who found a valuable pearl in a field. The man immediately sold everything he had to buy the field so the pearl would be his. Of course, he would be left with nothing if the pearl was worthless. But he was willing to take the risk.
For marriage to be what God designed it to be, we must choose to be committed to our mate and our marriage. Commitment is not based on feelings. Feelings cannot build a solid marriage. Love is not the basis for marriage. Marriage is the basis for love.
Hold on to your commitment to God. Hold on to your commitment to your marriage.
Key two: Accept your mate and change yourself.
Colossians 3:13-14 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
The marriage relationship has a specific dynamic. If one person in the relationship changes, the whole relationship changes. We keep trying to make sure that our mate is the one that changes.
I approached marriage and my new husband like buying an old house. I couldn’t wait to see it remodeled. Wasn’t Dan fortunate to have married the Holy Spirit? I tried to change him. I just wanted Dan to be more like me! I learned that we can be different without being right or wrong!
We need to celebrate our differences. Differences can either rip us apart or add great flavor to a relationship. Unfortunately, the things we try so hard to change are the very things that attract us to our mates in the first place.
He used to be carefree. Now he is irresponsible.
He used to be determined. Now he is stubborn.
He used to be more concerned about inward qualities than outward appearances. Now he is sloppy.
Acceptance and approval are two different things. What would happen if you unconditionally accepted your mate? What would happen if we took the energy we wasted trying to change him and used it to change our lives?
Accept your mate. Ask the Lord what needs to be changed in your own life.
Amos 3:3 “Can two walk together except they be agreed?”
Weeds spring up overnight, but it takes years for a mighty oak to grow. So likewise, a great marriage takes a lot of hard work and time. We have three choices about time. We can waste it, spend it, or invest it. Busyness builds a schedule but destroys the family. A crazy life schedule has always been a battle for Dan and me.
When our children were young, we saw our marriage and children being swallowed up in a hectic schedule. We were doing wonderful things. But, unfortunately, they just weren’t the best things. So we made an important decision. We would give ourselves one year to make drastic changes or leave the ministry. We chose not to sacrifice our marriage or our children on the altar of a ministry or church.
We began taking a day off each week. Monday is my day with Dan. We sometimes go shopping or out for lunch, where we talk – setting goals, planning, dreaming, and examining our marriage to ensure we are on solid ground.
We began scheduling time away. Every two or three months, we make a plan to get away – alone. Then, when the pressure is off, we are different! It is one way to keep the romance alive in our marriage!
We began setting aside time at the end of the day to talk. This time became an essential part of our daily schedule. We talked about the day and shared whatever was on our minds, creating a connection time. Doing so kept us on the same page and was a strong statement to each other and our children about the importance of our marriage.
We learned to be part of each other’s world. I began reading the books that interested Dan. I went with him to conferences. I began to study Dan – his needs and interests, frustrations and dreams, fears and hopes. I know. We often say we don’t have the time or money, but we are saying that it is not important enough to learn how to be part of our mate’s world. But, if it is important, we will find a way to do it.
We all exchange our lives for something. But we need to make sure that the exchange is worth it!
Key four: Guard your mind.
Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.”
Don’t allow anything or anyone into your life that will undermine your marriage.
-movies
-soap operas
-romance novels
-discontented friends
When we invite these things into our life, we are setting our marriage up for failure. In the early years of our marriage, I was addicted to soap operas. I told the woman on television to leave her rotten husband and run off with the handsome man. Needs improvement!
For the sake of our marriage, we must guard our minds.
Key five: Learn to fight fair.
Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what helps build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Wow! That’s a tall order, isn’t it? But God never asks us to do anything that he will not empower us to do. For much of our marriage, I have tended to shove my anger down until some final straw makes me both hysterical and historical. Not anymore. Here are some tips that have helped me learn to fight fair.
-Pray. Bathe your conversation in prayer and ask God to give you the right words to say
when you need to have a challenging conversation with your mate.
-Pick a time and place that is good for him. That means picking a time and place to give your conversation the best chance of succeeding.
-Begin and end with affirmation.
-Be willing to accept blame.
-Express hurt – not hostility.
-Stick to the subject at hand. Don’t drag up every hurt from the past that you have buried.
-Avoid using the words “never” and “always.”
-Be solution centered.
-Understand that restoration – not winning – is the goal.
-Get outside help if you need it. That may be a mature Christian couple or a professional.
A marriage is only as good as the communication between husband and wife – especially when fighting fair.
Isaiah 35:3-4 “Encourage the exhausted, strengthen the weak, say to those with an anxious heart ‘Take courage, fear not!’”
Every husband and wife has different ways of giving and receiving love.
Touch
Verbal
Service
Gifts
Time
My dad died when I was four years old. My mom showed her love for me by serving. So I grew up believing love is demonstrated by cleaning the house, buying groceries, doing the laundry, or cooking meals.
Doing these things for Dan showed him that I loved him – right? The only problem was that I needed to use the correct language. His language is touching and telling.
But since I had been molested as a child, I had trouble with communication and intimacy. So we had problems. When Dan hugged me and told me he loved me, I always thought he wanted sex. If he really loved me, he would clean the garage.
It is like going to a foreign land and insisting that the people there speak my language. It won’t work.
Learn your husband’s language of love and become fluent in it!
Every man should be able to trust his wife and what she says about him, and every wife should be able to trust what her husband says about her.
We should count on each other to be a cheerleader!
Don’t criticize your mate to your friends or family members. You will get to the place of forgiveness, but your family and friends may not. And don’t criticize your mate to your children. I know that is hard. But it is right.
Make a list of your mate’s good points and then broadcast them!
Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord. Keep watch over the door of my lips.”
I once read, “Dear Lord, help me to bridle my tongue so that on judgment day, I will not be guilty of assault with a deadly weapon!”
Don’t be a dream-buster. Be a dream-sharer. Ladies, if your husband is leading you in what you feel is the wrong direction, your choices are:
-To leave him.
-To stay and make life miserable for everyone.
-To say to him,” I am committed to you. I disagree with you, but I am with you!”
Then turn your dream and him over to God, who can bring the two together in a fantastic way.
Key eight: Laugh a lot.
Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
We must not get so serious about life that we lose our joy. We must always remember what it means to laugh, play, and feel like a child again.
The best marriages take a lot of work, but we need to balance that work with fun. The more challenging the marriage, the more important it is to have fun. Laughter brings healing. Humor can be a bridge over frustrating circumstances.
God wants our homes to be living illustrations of him! God wants marriage to demonstrate His love.
What choice or commitment do you need to make in your marriage? He stands ready to empower that commitment. God wants your marriage to succeed, and he wants you to find joy in your marriage. So make that commitment today, and then trust him to do it.
Related Resource: Check Out Our FREE Marriage Podcast!
Listen to our new, podcast on marriage: Team Us. The best marriages have a teamwork mentality. Find practical, realistic ideas for strengthening your marriage. Listen to an episode here, and then head over to LifeAudio.com to check out all of our episodes:
Mary Southerlandis also the Co-founder of Girlfriends in God, a conference and devotion ministry for women. Mary’s books include, Hope in the Midst of Depression, Sandpaper People, Escaping the Stress Trap, Experiencing God’s Power in Your Ministry, 10-Day Trust Adventure, You Make Me So Angry, How to Study the Bible, Fit for Life, Joy for the Journey, and Life Is So Daily. Mary relishes her ministry as a wife, a mother to their two children, Jered and Danna, and Mimi to her six grandchildren – Jaydan, Lelia, Justus, Hudson, Mo, and Nori.
As my relationship with my girlfriend evolved, I found myself wondering, “What should I talk about with my girlfriend?” I was craving a deeper connection, a way to understand her on a more profound level. Sure, we had our playful banter and lighthearted conversations, but I yearned for something more substantial. That’s when I stumbled upon a transformative exercise — serious questions to ask your girlfriend — that not only strengthened our bond but also opened up avenues of communication we never explored before. It all started with the simple yet powerful exercise of using random questions to ask your girlfriend in everyday conversations.
The questions ranged from introspective queries about our dreams and fears to profound discussions on love, life, and everything in between. What initially seemed like an exploration into the depths of our emotions turned into an enlightening experience that brought us closer than ever before. Who knew deep questions to ask your girlfriend could help you discover aspects of each other that had previously remained untouched by everyday chatter!
In this article, I’ll share some of the most impactful personal questions to ask a girlfriend that propelled our relationship into new and uncharted territories, transforming the ordinary into the extraordinary. Use this list of 250 deep questions to ask your girlfriend about your relationship to dive headfirst into a marathon of conversations that will ultimately redefine the way you understand each other. So, let’s explore the questions to ask your girlfriend about love, life, and everything else in between.
The Importance Of Meaningful Conversations In Building Intimacy
These serious love questions to ask your girlfriend are not only about sharing the highlights of your relationship; they involve acknowledging the shadows as well. Opening up about our vulnerabilities and fears requires a level of trust that forms the foundation of deep intimacy in a relationship. It is in these moments of raw honesty that a profound connection is forged, as we allow our partners to see us not just for who we present ourselves to be but for the intricacies that make us human. The willingness to engage in such dialogues not only strengthens the bond between individuals but also creates a safe space where both partners can grow and evolve together.
If you want to get to know your girlfriend, just ask
In a world inundated with distractions, carving out time for serious love questions to ask your girlfriend must be an intentional choice — an investment in the relationship’s emotional bank. These exchanges act as a mirror, reflecting the essence of who we are and, in turn, deepening our understanding of our partners. The importance of meaningful and deep conversations in building intimacy lies in their ability to nurture a connection that transcends the transient nature of everyday interactions, fostering a sense of belonging and closeness that withstands the tests of time.
Intrigued? Well, we’ve got you covered. Whether you’re looking for questions to ask your girlfriend about love, romantic questions to ask your girlfriend, or the best love questions to ask your girlfriend, in this compilation, you will find something that suits your needs.
250 Serious Questions To Ask Your Girlfriend To Really Understand Her
Embarking on the journey of truly understanding your girlfriend is an endeavor that transcends the ordinary facets of a relationship. It involves unraveling the intricacies of her thoughts, emotions, and aspirations — a pursuit that can lead to a profound and lasting emotional connection. In the realm of deepening intimacy, personal questions to ask a girlfriend — or truths to ask your girlfriend — play a pivotal role. And what better way to navigate the depths of her inner world than through a carefully curated set of serious love questions to ask your girlfriend?
If you find yourself wondering, “What should I talk about with my girlfriend?”, this collection of 250 deep questions to ask your girlfriend is designed to spark conversations that delve into the core of her being, exploring facets of her personality, experiences, and dreams that may have remained untouched by everyday discourse. The exercise not only provides a platform to stimulate vulnerability but also becomes a catalyst for mutual growth. These serious questions act as bridges, connecting the dots between your pasts, presents, and futures, fostering a level of intimacy that transcends the superficial.
As you embark on this exploration, let these serious questions to ask your girlfriend about love, life, values, goals, and more be the compass guiding you through the uncharted territories of her heart, fostering a connection that goes beyond the surface and truly enriches your relationship.
What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever received?
If you could have your dream job, what would it be?
Describe your dream wedding – location, theme, and atmosphere.
Can you share something significant you learned from your last relationship?
How do your cultural or religious beliefs influence your outlook on life?
What’s your take on sharing passwords in the name of transparency in a relationship?
How important is religion to you?
How do you feel about surprises, both giving and receiving?
What impression do you develop of a person based on their social media activity?
How do you navigate friendships with the opposite sex while in a committed relationship?
Do you think boundaries with friends are essential for protecting a relationship?
Do you believe in having separate or joint finances in a committed relationship?
How do you define a soulmate?
Are there any cultural differences between us that we should address?
How do you see us maintaining our connection if circumstances force us into a long-distance relationship?
What do you prefer, public displays of affection versus private intimacy?
Did you have any pets growing up, and what were their names?
What was your favorite family tradition during your childhood?
Can you recall a lesson or piece of advice from your parents that has stayed with you?
Did you have a favorite teacher or mentor who made a significant impact on your life?
What was your earliest ambition or dream for the future?
Is there a specific place or activity that you associate with feeling truly happy and content?
Did you have a favorite fairy tale or bedtime story that sparked your imagination?
Do you believe in fate, or do you think relationships are a result of two people choosing to be with each other?
Did you have a childhood nickname, and is there a story behind it?
Do you think a sense of mystery is key to maintaining excitement in a long-term relationship?
Did you have a favorite spot or hideaway where you liked to spend time as a child?
What’s your take on publicizing relationship milestones on social media?
In the tapestry of relationships, the threads woven by meaningful conversations are the ones that endure, creating a bond that withstands the tests of time. As we conclude this journey through 250 serious questions to ask your girlfriend, remember that the richness of a relationship lies in the willingness to explore, share, and grow together.
These may seem like random questions to ask your girlfriend but each of these serves as a catalyst for connection, paving the way for a profound understanding of your partner’s thoughts, dreams, and fears. As you carry these conversations forward, may they serve as the cornerstone of your journey toward a love that is authentic, enduring, and continually evolving. So, if you think about it, these are the best love questions to ask your girlfriend to foster a more meaningful connection.
“Love On The Spectrum” is a reality television show centered on how people with autism view, seek, and find love. It’s a fun, inspiring, and heartwarming series that we can all draw many lessons from.
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“We’re trying to marry our best friend, our greatest lover, our confidant,” LaRusso says. “And then when they turn out to just be a human and they’re disappointing, or they’re letting you down as a co-parent, or they sleep too much, or they work too much, we’re like, ‘This isn’t what we signed on for. This sucks.’ And we get vulnerable.”
Also, when it comes to air signs like Libra, “You can’t quite catch them, like the breeze—and you never know where they’ll drop you once they sweep you up,” the twins say. Earth signs like Capricorn, on the other hand, can get cast as uptight or slow, but that’s only because they “think carefully about the long term and what the return on investment will be,” the twins add.
In dating, body language has always been an essential way of communicating what might not be said aloud—nonverbal communication like a lingering glance, a turn toward another person, or a subtle touching of hands can communicate volumes. But for modern daters in an increasingly online world, these tactics aren’t always available. That’s why experts are making the case that we need to consider digital body language as a crucial part of modern dating.
Digital body language, or DBL, is communication in which digital interaction, like messaging on a dating app or over text, is used to express or convey contextual information. Like conventional body language, DBL is all about reading what isn’t being said aloud—non-verbal subtext, if you will,—which means that seemingly commonplace aspects of digital communication, like emojis, punctuation, message length, and response time, are now important ways for daters to gauge potential interest. According to a new study by Hinge about the state of dating for Gen Z, 77% of people who use their platform say that DBL reveals a lot about a match’s interests and intentions.
The report, which surveyed over 15,000 Gen Z daters, also found that 69% of those surveyed rely on DBL to decide if they want to commit to going out with someone. Hinge’s Love and Connection expert, licensed marriage and family therapist Moe Ari Brown, says that Gen Z’s embrace and reliance on DBL should come as no suprise, given the constant presence of technology throughout their lives.
“Gen Z daters are a digital native generation,” Brown tells TIME. “They were born with technology and don’t know a world without it, but that has made them pretty awesome at interpreting what the online version of verbal and nonverbal cues would be, so they are savvy at reading DBL as a way of understanding someone’s dating intentions.”
Though interpreting DBL is quickly becoming a necessary part of modern dating, it’s presented some unique challenges for daters. Hinge reports that 56% of those surveyed said that they have overanalyzed someone’s digital body language and stressed over whether or not someone was actually interested in dating them.
Brown points to the three things Hinge’s research found that Gen Z was most concerned with when it comes to DBL: who initiates conversation, the timing of responses, and message consistency. For him, good DBL boils down essentially to the tenets of good communication, regardless of the mechanism.
“Good communication [in dating] is being clear about your intentions from the very beginning,” he says. “Good DBL looks like not leaving a lot up to interpretation—so no one-word answers or very short responses. We want to always be thoughtful in our responses and think about how this is going to be received by another person.”
Brown says it can be as simple as carefully consideringwhat emojis you use or the punctuation at the end of a sentence. He also makes the case that a good rule of thumb is using the golden rule: treat others as you’d like to be treated.
“Doing a self-check on your digital body language is good—if you put yourself in someone else’s shoes and were on the receiving end of what you send and you feel that your communication is very clear, that will probably lead to more dates,” he says.
Fluency in DBL has become increasingly important as Gen Z has entered the dating pool. As perhaps the most “online” generation currently dating, Gen Z is 33% more likely than their millennial counterparts, according to Hinge, to say that they feel more comfortable chatting online with a potential partner than they would be in real life. Gen Z daters are alsofar more concerned with appearing cool to would-be matches. Thedaters surveyed were 50% more likely than millennials to delay responding to a message, in an effort to “play it cool,” even if they were interested in them.
“The downside to DBL is that we might not lean in and make the possible connections that we could,” Brown says. “If we’re doing too much interpretation and not enough leaning in, then we’re not being clear ourselves.”
While DBL can be a great way to gauge if there’s interest in going on a date, Brown says it shouldn’t necessarily be the metric for screening potential partners. He encourages people to use possible differences in communication styles—like if one person texts frequently and the other doesn’t respond—as an incentive to get to know them better. In this particular scenario, Brown says being clear and direct about what makes you feel uncomfortable can help resolve the issue and also hint at possible compatibility.
He offers up a script for the situation: “‘Hey, I noticed that when we talk sometimes, you stop responding and I don’t know whether to follow up with you. I’d love to to keep our response timing more prompt or would love if you respond within 24 hours, just so I know that we’re going to keep communicating.’” The other person’s response can be quite telling. “If they’re not receptive to that, then they don’t really have the flexibility that is essential for partnership,” he says. “You’re not going to have the same communication to begin with. It’s really about that person’s flexibility and willingness to change it to grow with you. Those are the cornerstones of good partnership.”
Brown also emphasizes that having conversations like this can be better in person and stresses that good DBL should lead to in-person connection, not replace it. In other words, while the world is increasingly digital, it appears that there’s still nothing quite like getting to know someone IRL.
If you have read the New Testament, you are probably familiar with one of its major contributors, an Apostle named Paul. He was highly educated, knew many languages and cultures, and forged his way to the heights of the religious society of his day. Then the Lord stopped him in the middle of the road and changed his life completely. The Lord raised Paul up as a leader in the early Church and, through the Holy Spirit, gave him wisdom beyond his years, his education, and even his personal experience. God used Paul to speak about many things to many different audiences.
Throughout the New Testament books that Paul wrote, he spends a lot of time addressing the relationships that fill our life. In some relationships, he had first-hand experience with which to give advice or caution, while in others, he relied on practical, God-given principles as he taught within the communities he was sent to reach.
Singleness was a topic with which he was intimately acquainted, as there are no indications anywhere in Scripture that he ever married. As we look at 1 Corinthians 7, we get a front-row seat as he speaks passionately about the single life and makes statements that still seem surprising hundreds of years after they were inspired and written.
After an introduction to the principles of marriage in I Corinthians 7, Paul makes his first “surprising” statement about singleness in verse 7: “I wish that all were as I myself am” (ESV). He repeats himself in verse 8 and expands his scope to include those who are single again after being widowed. “It is good for them to remain single.” From the context of the writing, we learn two things about this statement. First, he is not writing this as a command from God that ALL remain unmarried as he is, but simply observing that if it were possible, then life would be less complicated in many ways. Secondly, we see that he is declaring the single life as a gift God gave in the same way as marriage.
Paul picks up again toward the end of the chapter and makes his second “surprising” statement in verse 38: “So then he who marries his betrothed does well, but he who refrains from marriage will do even better.” In the verses just before, Paul spends time explaining precisely what he does and does not mean when he says this. Again, he reminds us that he is in no way saying no one should get married, nor is he advocating that anyone who is married already should leave that marriage. He reminds us all, married and single that living the life God has called us to is always the best life. Here, he spends some time explaining WHY he believes the single life is “even better” …it affords the opportunity for an undivided devotion to living a life on mission and pleasing the Lord.
When you read the passage as a whole, Paul seems to be writing about the goodness of the single life and then doubling back to make sure no one misunderstands him to say that marriage is in any way an inferior status. Still, much of the time when this passage is taught in our churches today, this theme does not seem to shine through. Usually, about as much time is given to expound on the “betterness” of the single life as the verses about bondservants. Is this ignored or added as merely a footnote on purpose? I don’t think so, but it needs to start becoming part of a more extensive conversation moving forward for both single and married believers.
If you are like me, and singleness has become more of a significant theme in your life than you ever imagined, then you have probably read these verses many times and thought to yourself (or maybe even dared to say out loud), ” Okay, Paul, I hear you but what does this really mean?”.
1. It reminds us that we are made for more than NOW. We are human; we are born with the limitations that come with being finite beings. Our human needs sometimes scream so loudly that if we are not careful, they can drown out the voice of the eternal spirit living inside us. Paul is seeking to remind us that what we see around us now is not what we should be living for or looking to fulfill us. If you are married and have children, the needs and the loudness of NOW can become exponentially more, and finding the time to focus on the eternal takes more effort. It is simple math.
While being single is not a guarantee that one will live a more wholly devoted life for God, I believe it does come with a call to strive to do so. Jesus Himself modeled the single, focused, missional life. Are we living our single life on purpose? Or are we merely enduring the days until God may change our marital status? Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians should challenge us to embrace this life God has called us to, whether we are single for the rest of our life or just this current season.
2. It is a call to the Church to embrace and even affirm singleness the same way God does. If we could look through Paul’s eyes, I believe we would see a vision for the Church today regarding singleness that looks very different than the present reality. I believe he envisioned a place where “Singles Ministry” was at the heart of the Church. A place leaders flow out of to minister to the whole body rather than an endless “purgatory” for the unmarried that follows youth and college ministry.
Unfortunately, in many of our churches, it is assumed that marriage is a gift God wants to bring to everyone, and the fulfilling, purpose-driven call of singleness is not taught until much later in life and to a much smaller audience. Leaders, teachers, missionaries, and single counselors are often encouraged to find a spouse to enhance their ministry or broaden the scope of their giftings. If this is also God’s calling on their life, then they should do so, but as Paul has admonished, if this is not, then they should be encouraged to “remain as they are.”
What if, instead, churches could find a way to teach about the devoted single life with the same excitement and purpose they teach about the importance of marriage and families?
If you are single today, then please know that singleness is many things, but an “inferior state to be avoided at all costs” is not one of them. Living life as a party of one has its challenges, and sometimes it is easy to crave the noise of now rather than work to see the gift buried deep down under the surface. I pray that these surprising words from Paul will sink in and take root as you strive to live your life with a more focused purpose on what God is calling you to. I pray God will quiet the noise of unmet expectations and raise a community around you to encourage and challenge you in the year ahead.
If you are a church leader, I pray God gives you the courage to encourage singleness with the same passion as the Apostle Paul. I pray you will seek ways to raise up single leaders within your fellowship and that God would bless your whole community through this effort.
If you are a parent, please know that your son or daughter may do everything in their power to find a spouse and have their own family, but there is a very real possibility that God may call them to live through extended periods of singleness as an adult. My prayer is that you won’t fear this for your child but will raise them to know the gift it can be. I pray you will invite single people to be a part of your life and community and that God will bring them Godly examples to follow.
Singleness can be a gift both to the single person and those in community with them.
Stephanie M. Kozick has lived and worked in Europe since 2008. She spent her first nine years abroad working with various ministries in Dublin, Ireland. For the past five years, she has served outside Athens, Greece with both ministry to nationals and the refugee population. Currently, she enjoys teaching English, connecting internationals with ministry opportunities, and learning to cook foods inspired by all the people groups who cross her path!
As same-sex marriage has become more prolific and socially acceptable, there is a growing number of same-sex parents. Personally, I’ve interacted with same-sex foster parents who also attend the same church as I do. My son’s friend on his soccer team has two very kind moms. I have neighbors who are same-sex parents to children in my community. We can no longer assume that just because a child is involved, both a man and a woman are in the picture when it comes to parenting.
As our society continues changing the rules around what constitutes a family, we must carefully consider how we should respond as believers. We know that God’s Word clearly states that God’s best for marriage and family is for one man and woman to come together. Yet, hard black-and-white lines don’t work when talking about people you love. Additionally, their child has no say in the family they are brought into, and surely they need all the love they can get as everyone needs a strong village in order to parent well.
How do we hold onto the truth of God’s Word while also being agents of God’s light and love?
It’s not easy, that’s for sure!
The Church Is Struggling
Right now, the Church is struggling along with many believers with how to navigate the great changes we see in our culture when it comes to sexuality, gender identity, marriage, and more! So much of the Church has swung to one extreme or the next on this issue. We are witnessing a large part of the Church making a choice to let go of a historically consistent view of Christian marriage and begin to believe in a boundaryless love.
This goes against all that God teaches in the Bible. God’s love is full of boundaries. Obedience is a part of the Christian life because we are broken creatures following a holy God. We need his guidance in order to live our best lives. God gives clear guidance on a myriad of issues, not just sexuality, because God is personally invested in our well-being. Him loving us looks like him gently leading us towards his truth, righteousness, and holiness.
Other parts of the church have embraced harsh and hurtful language around this issue. Their lack of understanding and compassion has left many who struggle with same-sex attraction or their gender identity hurt and alone. They forget that God has and can use all manner of broken and sinful people. He is the ultimate judge of our souls, not us! We can trust God to lead his people to repentance and freedom in his own time and way.
Wisdom Is Needed in Every Situation
As a culture and as the Church, we’ve lost the ability to see the nuances of how God loves each of us, even though none of us can live up to the full standard of his holiness. Our tendency in today’s ‘cancel culture’ is to draw battle lines around things that appear wrong or we don’t understand.
Jesus shows us a radical alternative way of navigating our sin.
He asks who is sinless among us. Only they have the ability to justly throw stones! (John 8:7-11) Then Jesus, the only one with the right to judge us, goes to the person stuck in sin and gives them the chance to follow him. They have the chance to leave their life of sin and pain!
It’s our job to be Jesus to our lost friends. To encourage those who know God but continue to struggle with sin. We need to remain faithful to the standards God gives us for living in the Bible. We must also ask God to help show us how to love well. When sin exists, wisdom is necessary in each and every situation. We need God to show us how to walk alongside others that we love prayerfully, sharing truth with them in a loving way. Thankfully, James 1:5 tells us that anytime we need wisdom, God gives it.
There are a few things we can consider as we seek wisdom on how to approach this kind of situation:
-If the couple are unbelievers, they are not held to the same standard of the Bible, so extra grace should be dispensed.
-Will declining to attend harm the relationship with this family?
-Will this declining detract from your ability to show them God’s love?
-Is there another way to show the child-to-be love without participating in the baby shower?
-What is God saying to you about this situation and how to navigate it well?
-Does this couple have enough of a relationship with you to know that you believe in a historically consistent biblical view of marriage and sexuality? Will attending communicate that you have abdicated your convictions or show them that you can love them this way because Jesus always loves them?
Thinking through these factors can help you to determine how to balance grace and truth in this situation. Sadly, there is no one-fits-all answer to these questions. We need God’s leading Spirit to help us know what he is calling us to do in our relationships.
Baby Showers Differ From Weddings
A baby shower is different from a wedding in that every child is a gift from God. This sort of celebration is designed to joyfully support the arrival of a new person whom God has a special plan for. While we may understand that same-sex relationships are not God’s best, we are called to nurture and love every child. Even if we do not feel called to participate in the baby shower, we should find a way to love this family and their child.
When the couple that fosters in my community had their first placement, I brought them bags of things to help them care for their kids. I delivered a gift card for dinner and wrote notes of encouragement for them and the children in their care. This wasn’t a baby shower, but it was a way to say you are not alone in this job of loving a child. Caring for kids is hard work, no matter what your family looks like. When we don’t walk alongside other families, kids are the ones who suffer the consequences.
Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is to encourage others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for My Daily Bible Verse Devotional and Podcast, Crosswalk Couples Devotional, the Daily Devotional App, she has work published with Her View from Home, on the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com. She has most recently published a devotional, Comfort: A 30 Day Devotional Exploring God’s Heart of Love for Mommas. You can find out more about Amanda on her Facebook Page or follow her on Instagram.
In today’s world, there seem to be so many rules about love, dating, and marriage. Who to date. How to date. What to do to get engaged. How to stay married. With so many varying opinions about how our love lives should be, it can be difficult to decipher what to do or how to navigate successfully through relationships. For a Christian, one would think it is easy to maneuver through these rules because our guidance for living is the Bible. However, many Christians often struggle with how to live in an upright manner that pleases God. There are questions many desire to ask, and sometimes, their interpretation of Scripture can be misunderstood or taught from an opinion that seems biblically based.
Espoused or dating couples face many challenges and must make several decisions that can affect their relationship and challenge their morals. Where do they go for dates, what are their thoughts on premarital sex, and how long should they date or remain engaged are some of the decisions they face and often struggle with. Another decision unmarried Christian couples often face is whether or not they should live together before marriage. Many people believe there are several valid reasons to do so. For instance, you learn each other’s habits, you can discover each other’s true expectations for marriage, and it can help in deciding whether or not couples want to go through with marriage. While these are all things people need to know, for the soon-to-be-married or marriage-hopeful Christian, they may not be reason enough to take the plunge into living together before they say I do. For believers, God not wanting couples living together before marriage often plagues their thoughts, especially when there is no specific Scripture that states couples cannot live together without the benefit of marriage. If you’re wondering why, take a look at the reasons listed below.
1. Sexual temptation.
Being in close quarters with the one you love, the one you desire, and the person you are physically attracted to can and will tempt anyone to engage in sexual activities. The Bible provides clear instructions on maintaining sexual morality for all believers, whether they are single, engaged, or married. If you are thinking about cohabitation before saying I do, then you and your fiance need to think about how you will avoid engaging in premarital sex. Will you sleep in separate bedrooms? Will you set boundaries for each other when it comes to sexual temptation? If you succumb to your sexual desires, is there a plan of repentance in place? If you are planning to cohabitate with your partner before marriage, you must acknowledge what God says about fornication and decide how you will handle the temptations together. Again, while there is no specific scripture in the Bible that states couples should not live together before marriage, this is one reason why many believers are taught that they should not do so.
2. It can mock marriage.
Living together before marriage mocks the covenant of marriage because couples tend to make decisions together and take care of household finances and other responsibilities that can come with marriage. Marriage is a sacred commitment to God and the people He brings together. The responsibilities that accompany it should not be taken lightly before a solid commitment is made. While the rationale to dwell together before saying I do is for people to learn more about each other, it still mocks the union that God ordained.
Photo credit: GettyImages/bernardbodo
3. It takes away the value of commitment.
Couples cohabitate together for many reasons—personal, financial, or convenience. While couples have their reasons for living together before marriage, many believe that doing so before marriage takes away the value of commitment. People can become content in their arrangement and may not feel the need to take the next step of marriage. This is not the case for all, but in many cases, couples who live together may not see the need for marriage, and for the Christian believer this dishonors God. The commitment of marriage is the standard God has set for believers. If you and your partner strive to live a life that pleases God, you may want to reconsider cohabitation before marriage. Knowing and understanding what commitment means to you and your future spouse is important. Both people need to be clear on what to expect and what level of commitment they are willing to show each other.
4. It may be harder to leave a relationship after cohabitation.
It’s been theorized that it may be harder to end a relationship once two people live together. Many couples have various reasons for living together before marriage, but one reason is to see if they are genuinely compatible with each other and if they can, in fact, peacefully live with each other. If people who live together discover, sooner or later, that they are not meant for each other, how do they successfully move forward with their lives individually? After sharing space, you become accustomed to seeing your partner daily; in a sense, they have become part of your routine. While establishing a new routine can be done, it can be challenging from an emotional point of view. It can also be difficult if one person does not have a stable means of income or a place to call their own in the event of a transition. No one wants someone they love to struggle, so depending on how things end, one partner may harbor feelings of guilt for wanting to leave the relationship.
Cohabitating with someone is an important decision for people to make. Some may consider it the big step before the bigger step of marriage. While people have their reasons for doing so, this should not be judged. There are so many things to consider, and you want to be sure your reasons are valid. For the believer, if you are thinking about this, seek counseling from married couples or a premarital counselor who has the same values and beliefs as you for guidance. Also, it’s important to discuss finances, expectations for the future, responsibilities, and other goals for the future for both of you.
The world and the world of believers have morals, values, and rules they live by for different reasons. It’s vital to be clear on how you want to live your life and how you want your relationships to go. Many people choose to cohabitate before marriage; others do not. As you continue your journey with God, your singleness, or your partner, I pray that you ask God for guidance on how He wants your life and all your relationships to go. Always be mindful, prayerful, and careful with the decisions you make in your relationships. Do what honors God and what’s best for both of you to live in harmony.
Author Liz Lampkinis an experienced writer, teacher, and speaker. She is an advocate for singles who encourages them to live their best life God’s way. Follow her on Instagram @Liz_Lampkin.
There are a few moments that stand out as optimal grandparent time in our memories. You know, the ones many of us share if we were blessed enough to be able to spend time with our grandparents.
The Christmas program, when, as a child, you looked out into the audience and saw their proud smiles. Or, the birthday when they bring you the present you were aching for and had been told by the not-so-cool parents that you wouldn’t be receiving it. Or, there may be that one special memory that you revisit from time to time, and a reminiscent smile rests on your face.
But what is the difference between memory versus legacy.
Webster’s dictionary defines “memory” as: the power or process of reproducing or recalling what has been learned and retained especially through associative mechanisms. Essentially, it’s a repetitive replay of the past, either good or bad, special or traumatic.
“Legacy” on the other hand, comes with a very different emphasis. Webster’s describes legacy as: something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past. A carrying over of something tangible, perhaps tradition, a belief, a way of life.
In this article, we will focus on how grandparents can truly leave a legacy of faith that can shape their families for years to come.
How My Own Grandparents Impacted My Faith
I was blessed to build many memories with my grandparents. I was blessed to have grandparents in my life, and my children have also received a similar blessing.
While, my memories of my grandma are those of watching the Lawrence Welk show on her slippery couch (some material that was actually shiny!), and of being put to bed only to sneak out after my older brother was asleep to curl up into her cozy side and watch Dallas and Dynasty (perfect childhood bedtime shows), I have taken some time recently to sit back and reflect on what legacy she left behind.
How was it different from my other grandmother’s? And how my grandfathers’ legacies affected me as well?
I knew my Gramma Wright for my first eight years of life. Memories are sketchy, but legacy? I have been startled at how much legacy was instilled in me in those short eight years.
The one I recall the most, is the legacy of joy. She was an insatiably joyful person. I’m not sure if that was just my perspective, but then, does it matter? It was what she passed along to me.
She showed me joy by taking a deep satisfaction in allowing me to spend time with her. Whether it was watching a forbidden nighttime soap that went completely over my head, or helping her make her ridiculously salty homemade macaroni and cheese, or telling me stories of sleigh rides in the snow at Christmas as a child.
Gramma Wright found joy in every circumstance. I’m sure her faith played a part in that. She’d lost my Grandpa Wright before I was born, but she didn’t exude a spirit of loneliness or grief. I’m sure she felt it, but her mission seemed to be to instill in me a legacy of joy.
No matter the circumstance. When she passed away, the last time I visited her in the hospital, I recall her shouting down the hallway from her bed as I walked away with my parents to go home. “I love you! I love you!” she cried in a wobbly, weak voice.
Looking back, I get teary eyed. It’s a memory to go along with her legacy. Her legacy of time spent with loved ones, and finding essential joy within the spirits of her family. As you study your relationship with your grandchildren, consider the qualities and characteristics you want to etch into their foundations as pivotal.
These will stay with them long into their adult years as cornerstones to who they are as a person and as someone impacting the world around them.
My other gramma, Gramma Lola, instilled in me a legacy of history. She breathed and oozed family history and every antique she owned was connected to someone in our lineage who had a story.
Gramma Lola was not a story writer, nor was she a story teller, but yet she believed strongly in the power of story. In the power of remembering loved ones, learning from loved ones long since past, and incorporating their legacies in our daily lives.
I knew from a young age that her father had struggled with prejudice as a German immigrant who spoke little English. I learned too, that he fought through it, took pride in his heritage, and made sure his children and grandchildren held their heads up.
My Gramma Lola was not ashamed of her strong German roots, even when the World War came and Germans weren’t particularly preferred. Do your grandchildren know where they came from?
Scripture talks of the influence of ancestry and generational traditions and faith. If your grandchildren aren’t aware of the framework that has formed your family, their attachment and devotion to what has been important in your family tree, will be lost.
Educate them on the constructs of their ancestors, and share with them the faith, the perseverance, and the fortitude with which your family tree has been cultivated.
I can go on. But now that I have my own children, I look to my parents and my in-laws and how they too are instilling legacy. Most importantly, how they are instilling a legacy of faith.
It’s more than apparent that grandparents have a huge impact on the lives of their grandchildren. And, while I’ve sought out these legacies, defined them, and nested them deep in my heart, how does a grandparent effectively communicate legacy to their grandchildren? Especially a legacy of faith?
In reviewing my own experiences, and now watching my children’s, I’ve found some clarity. Here are 3 ways grandparents can leave a legacy of faith.
My grandparents were strong in their faith, and because of such, that legacy was passed on to both sets of my parents. But it wasn’t the going to church part that instilled it.
Honestly, it wasn’t even the practice of Christianity’s traditions. It was how they lived their faith.
When there is a struggle with one of my children at school, my mom will pick them up and more often than not, by the time I’m able to snatch them after work, my Dad has spent time in prayer with them over the situation, or my mom has commiserated with my daughter and then helped her to self-reflect on what Jesus would have her do.
A legacy of faith is the inclusion of bedtime prayers with grandparents, and when my Dad plays “church” with them, allowing the kids to “preach the Word”, and lead worship songs with their ukuleles and recorders.
I’m sure it’s the most unprofessionally produced worship service, but the kids come home chattering about how they had “church” with Poppy–on a weekday.
Faith becomes just a normal part of life. It’s not marked by significant traditions, so much as stamped into life by daily events.
2. Make Faith a Part of Every Day Conversation
I think grandparents often rely on the fact that actions speak louder than words. In the end, the old adage is true.
However, with children–especially little ones–it’s important to verbalize your faith.
Do I recall my grandparents living a good life? One of ethics and morality? Absolutely! But I also know–because they made it clear by talking about it–that these decisions were not made simply out of innate human goodness.
It was driven by their faith in their Savior and was dependent on not just their awareness of Him, but also their reliance on His Word. Our children need to learn–especially in these days–that goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, and so forth, are not inspired by our personal aptitude.
Different versions of human kindness and respect abound and what to some is common sense, to others, it contradicts the essence of what they’ve experienced. A measuring tool, a point of reference, a place of truth, needs to be established for these little lives who will one day take up the mantle of faith and walk forward.
So speak your origins of faith into them. Verbalize the Scripture you hold dear. Express to them why you do what you do as inspired by your relationship with the Lord. Don’t rely merely on your actions to communicate the roots and the foundations of why those actions abound.
Words become the memories we draw upon long after loved ones have left our lives, and the verbalization of your faith will become a whisper on their heart for eternity.
3. Make Faith the Priority
I know my Grandpa Wright found hunting and fishing to be his number one thing. It was his hobby, his passion, and by having such, he instilled a deep appreciation for nature into my dad and his brothers, which in turn, has been passed down to us.
Interestingly, what is missing here, is his faith. I asked my dad once if Grandpa Wright had been a follower of Christ. My dad replied that he believed he was. That he had been baptized and had made a profession of faith at a Billy Sunday revival meeting.
But the thing is, the prioritizing of that faith was not my grandpa’s priority. Did that make him a bad legacy builder? Not at all. In looking back on his life, I believe he was a follower of Christ–again, his actions speak as well, but his voice was very quiet.
My own dad has made a pivotal effort in his relationship with his grandchildren, to make it known that he is passionately following Jesus. It is his priority.
There will be no question, after my dad passes, as to whether he was or wasn’t a Believer. It will just be known. It was his priority, after all, and he made sure we all knew that. Very, very well.
The prioritization of your faith will become a spiritual tattoo of sorts on the souls of your grandchildren. While it can–and at times will–be ignored, it is still always there and it is non-erasable.
It is in the dark times, perhaps even the blessed times, your grandchildren will capture glimpses of these Spiritual priorities, inked in a Spiritual pen, that will draw them, compel them, and remind them that faith is an indelible mark of consistency they should not ignore.
In the end, leaving a legacy for our grandchildren is important. Leaving the legacy of faith is critical. Faith is being challenged, threatened even, and going forward, freedoms may even be limited.
We cannot take for granted that faith will just come to our grandchildren, or they will somehow assume the faith because we have it. We must teach it. With words, actions, prioritization, and depth.
As Deuteronomy states so clearly, we must saturate the lives of the next generation with the Lord.
Deuteronomy 6.5-7: You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Diligently. Passionately. Constantly.
And your legacy will bear fruit for generations to come.
Jaime Jo Wright is an ECPA and Publisher’s Weekly bestselling author. Her novel “The House on Foster Hill” won the prestigious Christy Award and she continues to publish Gothic thrillers for the inspirational market. Jaime Jo resides in the woods of Wisconsin, lives in dreamland, exists in reality, and invites you to join her adventures at jaimewrightbooks.com and at her podcast madlitmusings.com where she discusses the deeper issues of story and faith with fellow authors.
