[ad_1]
Fire and air aren’t exactly the same, of course, with Aries being more action-oriented and Gemini tending to have more mental energy. But when you put them together, Aries can help Gemini bring turn its ideas into action, and vice versa, Gemini can help Aries see new perspectives, open their mind, and explore different possibilities.
[ad_2]
[ad_1]
The trendy “tradwife” movement. What’s this all about, really? The term trad wife, which denotes the view of a traditional wife with traditional values, was originally displayed about six years ago when several millennial and zoomer housewives took to social media and showcased their idealistic, domesticated lifestyles.
These young ladies began to glamorize the iconic All-American 1950s woman as they posted pictures donning the classic fit and flare dress with attached apron and pump high highs. Whether they are placing meals on the table for their family with a glistening smile, vacuuming their immaculate homes, or greeting their husbands at the end of the day with a passionate kiss, the message is to showcase traditional gender roles and the culture of that nostalgic time era. In the time when men were the sole breadwinners and providers, women stayed home and were caretakers.
According to Estee Williams, a 25-year-old trad wife and TikTok influencer who inspires women how to cook, clean, and maintain beauty for their husbands, “a tradwife submits to her husband and serves her family. This concept is not degrading or considered to be of lesser value than him. This is more common with traditional Christians.” Many of her recent videos share how to find a masculine man and dish out advice for high school girls who are questioning and eager to learn more about her “old school” lifestyle.
@esteecwilliams What it means to be a Tradwife. #fyp #tradwife #homemaking #housewife #traditional #tradwifecontroversy #womenschoice ♬ Music Instrument – Gerhard Siagian
While this concept continues to grow and gain momentum on nearly every social media platform, gaining traction, it is apparent that a younger generation of women is seeking men who will lead, provide, and protect them (Ephesians 5: 25-33). However, this movement hasn’t come without a spark of controversy, even among the faith-based circles.
The phenomenon of a traditional, simpler, and older way of life is nothing new. After all, it’s the cycle of life as families pass down their traditions to their children. It is common for children to take on some of those customs and part ways with others, maybe starting something new. This is where we see old-fashioned ethics and new terms like “trad wife” come into play.
However, these homemade definitions are not synonymous with the Biblical housewife portrayed in Proverbs 31 or Titus 2. Where the tradwife focuses on some Biblical views, it completely misses the mark on others. While there are distinct gender roles noted in God’s Word, we are all called to submit to Christ, first and foremost (James 4:7), and then to one another in marriage (Ephesians 5:21).
Where a tradwife focuses on outward appearances and the authority of her husband, Biblical womanhood encourages marriage to be rooted in faith and glorify God – together. Marriage is a servanthood where a husband is called to love his wife as Christ did the church, and a wife is called to submit to her husband so that he can lead in confidence. There is mutual love, respect, and honor (Ephesians 5:21-33).
The Proverbs 31 woman seeks after God’s heart (Mark 12:30), embraces her role as mother and wife, cares for her feminine beauty (1 Peter 3:3-4), is a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:6-8), serves with a gracious heart, and walks with purpose, seeking God’s will and way for her life. This could mean working in or outside of the home.
Titus 2 is generally an older (wiser) woman who is portrayed as a role model and mentor for young ladies, training them to trust God and walk in obedience. They share the real meaning behind submission, which is to walk with dignity and grace, honoring God’s design for marriage and encouraging young wives to serve and love their husbands and families with compassion.
Like with any cultural trend, we need to be careful not to be swept away by all its enticing and enamoring effects and choose to seek God’s will and way for our lives by digging into His Word and seeking Truth. The beauty of God’s Word is that it never changes (Psalm 119:89, Isaiah 40:8, Malachi 3:6). In a world that is forever evolving, His Word remains the same. We can count on that—it’s a promise!
Photo Courtesy: ©Getty Images/Alexandra Girard
Video Courtesy: esteecwilliams via TikTok
[ad_2]
Alicia Searl
Source link
[ad_1]
You don’t take love lightly, Scorpio, and as such, it’s easy for you to get jealous, possessive, and even controlling at your worst. But according to Grim, this comes down to placing high importance on emotional safety and security. So, he says, “It’s important to meet someone who brings you a sense of stability and grounding, while also encouraging them to release tension and any pent up feelings.”
[ad_2]
[ad_1]
PositiveSingles introduces Help Reward, a platform fostering support and empowerment for individuals living with STDs. Through sharing stories, raising awareness, and offering assistance, we aim to build connections and solidarity within our community. Together, let’s make a positive impact in navigating life’s challenges.
NEW YORK, March 18, 2024 (Newswire.com)
–
PositiveSingles, the premier online community for individuals living with STDs, is proud to announce the launch of its Help Reward, an initiative designed to foster connections, share personal stories, and offer assistance to those navigating the challenges of living with STDs.
Living with an STD can be a daunting experience, often accompanied by feelings of isolation and stigma. PositiveSingles recognizes the importance of community support in overcoming these obstacles and thriving in spite of them. The Help Event aims to create a safe and supportive space where members can find solace, encouragement, and practical assistance. PositiveSingles is a lifeline of support and understanding for those living with STDs.
“We believe in the power of sharing experiences and supporting one another,” says Dani Johnson, the supervisor for PositiveSingles. “Our community is a beacon of hope for individuals living with STDs, providing a platform where they can connect, empathize, and uplift one another.”
On the homepage of PositiveSingles, they also highlight the significance of this reward: Each payment makes a positive impact by contributing to our Help Reward. This underscores their commitment to fostering a supportive environment and providing assistance to those in need within our community. By participating in PositiveSingles and contributing to the Help Reward, members not only gain access to a supportive network but also directly contribute to making a difference in the lives of others facing similar challenges.
Here’s how the Help Reward works:
Share Your Story: Members are encouraged to post their personal stories on the PositiveSingles platform, detailing their journeys and the specific assistance they could benefit from at this time.
Spread the Word: Participants are urged to share their posts with friends and other community members to raise awareness and create a network of support.
Community Engagement: Throughout the event, members are encouraged to engage with one another, offering words of encouragement, advice, and empathy.
The Help Reward is not just about seeking help; it’s about fostering a sense of belonging and providing a supportive environment for all members. By coming together, sharing experiences, and offering support, PositiveSingles aims to empower individuals to live their lives to the fullest despite the challenges they may face.
“We want our members to know that they are not alone,” adds Dani. “Through our community, they can find solidarity, understanding, and the strength to face whatever comes their way.”
The Help Reward is currently underway. Participants are encouraged to join the conversation, share their stories. The site continues to hold it irregularly, but this round will end on March 18.
For more information about the Help Reward, visit https://www.positivesingles.com/blogHome
Source: PositiveSingles
[ad_2]
[ad_1]
Are you tired of the same old routine for your Sunday dates? If so, you’re not alone. Many couples find themselves stuck in the Sunday evening ‘dinner and a movie’ cycle, craving something more exciting and refreshing. In this article, we’ll explore 23 fun Sunday date ideas that can transform your weekends into romantic getaways, rekindling the spark and making those last moments of the weekend truly memorable.
Just last weekend, I decided to break free from the Sunday date night monotony and try out one of these suggested ideas. Eager to infuse a new energy into our routine, my partner and I opted for a unique experience. We embarked on a charming adventure that involved outdoor yoga in a serene park, followed by a picturesque picnic overlooking the city skyline. The refreshing change of scenery and the invigorating activities made us appreciate our time together even more, proving that stepping outside the conventional Sunday date box can lead to delightful surprises and rekindled romance.
A romantic Sunday date holds the promise of transforming ordinary weekends into extraordinary adventures. Imagine the joy of making new memories that transcend the routine, where each moment becomes a brushstroke on the canvas of your shared experiences. In this guide, we unfold the art of planning a romantic Sunday date with thoughtful precision.
As we delve into the intricacies of planning, the following tips will illuminate the path to crafting a romantic escapade that resonates uniquely with you and your partner, ensuring that every Sunday becomes a cherished chapter in your love story. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to plan the perfect romantic Sunday date:
Related Reading: 30 First Date Ideas | Cute, Fun, Creative & Memorable
By putting thought into your partner’s preferences and planning a unique and thoughtful experience, you can create a romantic Sunday date that strengthens your bond and creates lasting memories.
Are you ready to elevate your Sunday rendezvous from the ordinary to the extraordinary? In this curated list, we present 23 fun Sunday date ideas. Break free from your regular dates and infuse your Sundays with creativity, excitement, and romance. Whether you’re seeking adventurous outdoor activities, cultural experiences, intimate moments, or just plain fun weekend dates, this collection of date ideas offers a diverse array of options to suit every couple’s taste.
If you’re looking for bonding activities couples can enjoy, embark on a dance of shared joy and connection with our first Sunday date idea – a captivating dance class adventure. Step into a world where the rhythm of your hearts meets the beats of the music, as you and your dance partner twirl, sway, and waltz your way to a deeper connection.
This date idea goes beyond the ordinary, transforming your Sunday into a memorable celebration of unity and harmony. Discover the joy of synchronized movement, laughter, and mutual support as you create lasting memories on the dance floor.
Embrace the charm of a Sunday morning with a leisurely stroll through a local farmers’ market. Picture this: the sun casting a warm glow, the air filled with the aroma of freshly baked goods and vibrant produce. This Sunday date idea invites you and your partner to explore the market’s treasures, discovering unique finds and relishing flavorful samples.
The morning unfolds as a perfect blend of discovery and togetherness, setting the stage for a wonderful day ahead. With Sunday morning date ideas like this, you can immerse yourselves in the lively atmosphere, engage in conversations with local vendors, and relish the simple joys of a shared market adventure.
Related Reading: 60 Awesome Date Ideas For Friday Night!
One of the best day dates for couples involves venturing out into the beauty of a Sunday afternoon with a picturesque bike ride through a nearby nature reserve. Escape the hustle and bustle of daily life as you and your partner pedal along scenic trails, surrounded by the serenity of nature.
Feel the gentle breeze against your faces, listen to the melody of chirping birds, and revel in the vibrant colors of blooming flora. This Sunday date idea not only provides a perfect backdrop for quality time but is also a fun way to explore nature.
If you’re feeling adventurous, you could consider fun date ideas like a rock climbing adventure. Head to a local indoor climbing gym where towering walls beckon, challenging you and your partner to conquer new heights together. Feel the rush of adrenaline as you navigate handholds and footholds, relying on each other for support and encouragement, and experiencing deep bonding.
This date idea not only provides a dynamic and physical outlet but also fosters teamwork and trust. Celebrate each successful climb with shared laughter and a sense of accomplishment — a wonderful way to create a bond that is as resilient as the rocks you conquer.
Related Reading: 11 Expert Tips To Communicate Better With Your Partner
Kick back and relax with a romantic afternoon of wine tasting at a local vineyard or a cozy wine bar. Begin your journey by swirling and sipping a variety of exquisite wines, allowing your taste buds to dance through different notes and bouquets. Engage in conversations about your preferences, discovering new favorites together.
And if wine is not your thing, you can do this at your local brewery. This could work as one of your Sunday first date ideas, promising not only a refined and romantic feel but also an opportunity to deepen your bond over shared appreciation for the finer things in life.
Immerse yourselves in an exhilarating Sunday date with an escape room adventure, where the thrill of solving puzzles becomes the catalyst for an unforgettable experience. As the clock ticks, work together, decipher clues, and unlock secrets that lead to your escape.
This immersive and mentally stimulating date idea will not only test your problem-solving skills but will also enhance teamwork and improve communication. The shared excitement and sense of accomplishment as you solve each puzzle will create a unique bond, turning an ordinary Sunday into an extraordinary journey of discovery and collaboration.
One of the most amazing day dates for couples is when they take up a cooking class or workshop together. Picture a cozy kitchen setting, adorned with fresh ingredients and the promise of a delicious meal. Together with your foodie partner, you’ll embark on a gastronomic adventure under the guidance of a skilled chef.
As you learn to make delicious food, the class unfolds as a sensory experience that tantalizes both the taste buds and the heart. As you chop, stir, and savor the fruits of your labor, the kitchen transforms into a haven of shared laughter and intimate moments. This Sunday date idea involving cooking classes not only elevates your culinary skills but also creates a feast of memories that will linger long after the last bite.
Related Reading: 5 Reasons Why Women Are Attracted To Men Who Cook
Try some risque bonding activities couples can enjoy and spice up your Sunday evening with a dash of glamor and entertainment by attending a burlesque or drag show. Step into a world of sequins, feathers, and captivating performances that promise an unforgettable experience. Allow the vibrant energy of the performers to envelop you and your partner as you revel in the dazzling spectacle.
The artistry and confidence displayed on stage will create an atmosphere of celebration, embracing diversity and self-expression. It’s not merely a show. It’s a celebration of life, love, and authenticity. This unique and spirited date idea adds a touch of extravagance to your Sunday, ensuring a night filled with laughter, awe, and a shared appreciation for the art of performance.
Now, this is one of the quirkiest Sunday activities for couples. Transform your Sunday into an interactive and adventurous journey by orchestrating the perfect romantic scavenger hunt. Craft a series of clues that lead you and your partner through significant places, perhaps revisiting where you first met or sharing meaningful locations. The thrill of discovery and the playful challenge of solving each clue will heighten the sense of excitement.
A scavenger hunt not only fosters a sense of teamwork but also ensures an afternoon filled with surprises, laughter, and a deeper connection. With a scavenger hunt tailored to your unique love story, you can’t go wrong with fun date ideas like this.
Related Reading: 51 Adventurous Date Ideas To Get Your Adrenaline Pumping
Play tourist with your partner and embark on a cultural escapade by exploring the wonders of a local museum together. Step into a world of art, history, or science, immersing yourselves in exhibits that spark curiosity and conversation. Wander hand-in-hand through the corridors, marveling at artifacts, and sharing thoughts on the intriguing displays of the local culture.
The quiet contemplation amidst historical relics or vibrant artworks provides a tranquil backdrop for quality time. This date idea not only broadens your cultural horizons but also fosters a shared appreciation for the narratives that museums unfold.
This is one of the most enjoyable Sunday activities for couples. Indulge in the ultimate relaxation by treating yourselves to a spa day or maybe even a spa night at your favorite spa retreat. Step into a sanctuary of tranquility and luxury, where every little detail is designed to pamper and revitalize your body. Allow the expert hands of skilled therapists to whisk you away on a journey of rejuvenation, from soothing massages to invigorating facials.
The ambiance of the spa, with its calming scents and serene surroundings, sets the perfect backdrop for a day devoted to self-care and connection. Unwind in the steam room, take a dip in the pool, and savor healthy refreshments while spending quality time together. This date idea not only elevates your overall well-being but also creates a shared experience of blissful relaxation.
Related Reading: 51 Cozy Winter Date Ideas To Try This Year
One of the most awesome date ideas on Sunday is a binge-watching date at a drive-in movie. Transport yourselves to a nostalgic cinematic adventure with a drive-in movie marathon on your date night. Create a cozy haven in the comfort of your car, complete with blankets and snacks, as you relish the allure of a big screen under the night sky. Choose a selection of your favorite films or explore new releases, reveling in the timeless charm of this classic date idea for movie lovers and film fans.
The intimacy of your own space, combined with the shared enjoyment of cinematic tales, adds a touch of magic to the evening. Date night ideas like this promise not only the allure of Hollywood magic but also the warmth of each other’s company, making it a romantic evening date with your partner.
Brace yourselves for an exhilarating Sunday filled with laughter, thrills, and quirks as you embark on a day trip at the amusement park together. Revel in the nostalgic charm of carnival rides, from the classic Ferris wheel to the exhilarating roller coasters that promise heart-pounding excitement.
Share cotton candy, try horseback riding, challenge each other to fun games, and savor the carefree spirit of the park. The vibrant lights, joyful screams, and the buzzing energy will create an atmosphere of pure delight. Sunday afternoon date ideas like this not only tap into your inner child but also provide an opportunity to keep the laughter alive and bond over the shared experience of adrenaline and whimsical fun.
If you’re dating an artist, you can immerse yourselves in the vibrant energy of creativity by attending an open mic night at a local venue. Whether it’s an intimate local coffee shop or an outdoor concert, the stage becomes a canvas for a variety of performances. From soulful music to stand-up comedy shows, the eclectic mix of talents promises an evening filled with entertainment and shared appreciation for artistic expression.
Join the audience in applause, cheer for the performers, and perhaps, if the mood strikes, take the stage together for a moment of shared creativity. Date night ideas like this not only introduce you to local talents but also foster a sense of community and the joy of experiencing the arts together.
Related Reading: 20 Super Cute Ways To Express Your Feelings To Someone You Love
Embark on a literary adventure by exploring the aisles of a local bookstore together and create a cozy date day. The scent of fresh pages and the promise of untold stories create a leisurely atmosphere ripe for discovery. Wander hand-in-hand through genres, exchanging recommendations and sharing the joy of stumbling upon hidden literary gems. Whether you’re drawn to novels, poetry, or nonfiction, the bookstore becomes a haven where imaginations intertwine.
Find a cozy nook, perhaps by a window or amid towering shelves, and spend the afternoon immersed in the magic of words with a heartwarming love story book. The bookstore date works as one of the most refreshing Sunday first date ideas, cultivating a shared love for literature and an intimate space for quiet conversations and shared silences.
Energize your Sunday by opting for an invigorating outdoor fitness class, combining the benefits of exercise with the joy of shared activities. Many communities offer a free class on Sundays, ranging from yoga in the park to high-intensity interval training by the beach. Embrace the fresh air, soak in the natural surroundings, and relish the endorphin rush, as you and your partner engage in a healthy and active date.
This not only promotes well-being but also provides an opportunity to discover new fitness interests together. Whether it’s a sunrise yoga session for yoga lovers or an afternoon cardio class, this free outdoor fitness experience is a perfect way to infuse vitality into your Sunday while strengthening the bond you share.
Related Reading: 5 Ways Exercise And Fitness Improve Your Sex Drive
Now, this is a great date day idea. Tee off for a lighthearted yet competitive Sunday date with a round of mini-golf. Head to a local course where the vibrant colors, whimsical obstacles, and playful challenges set the stage for a delightful game. Engage in a friendly competition, reveling in the joy of each successful putt and sharing laughter over unexpected twists and turns.
The miniature landscapes provide a canvas for shared amusement and a touch of competitiveness, creating a date idea that combines fun and connection. Navigate the twists and turns of the course hand-in-hand, and celebrate each victory with a high-five or a congratulatory kiss.
This is perhaps one of the most enjoyable Sunday night date ideas for those who love to stay at home. Make the dating game fun with a board game date night at home. Select a collection of your favorite games or explore new ones, creating an atmosphere of friendly competition and camaraderie. Whether it’s strategic maneuvers in classic board games or the luck of the dice in lively rounds of a party game, each move becomes a shared moment of excitement and laughter.
The warmth of your home provides the perfect backdrop for date night ideas like this, fostering an intimate setting for a romantic night where the focus is on each other and the joy of friendly competition. If you have access to a roof, you could have this date with a view of the city lights.
Embrace the beauty of the great outdoors by embarking on a nature exploration together. Choose a nearby dog park, nature reserve, or hiking trail, and let the wonders of the natural world unfold before you.
Whether you’re surrounded by towering trees, meandering along a peaceful riverside, or breathing in the crisp mountain air, nature provides a serene backdrop for quality time. Engage in conversations amid the symphony of bird songs, share moments of quiet contemplation, and revel in the simple joys of being surrounded by the beauty of the earth.
If you’re looking for a new date idea, roll the dice and try your luck for a thrilling Sunday date night at a local casino. Whether it’s the bright lights and the lively atmosphere of a bustling casino floor or the sophisticated ambiance of a more intimate establishment, the casino becomes a playground of chance and excitement.
Engage in a variety of games, from poker and blackjack to the spinning roulette wheel, as you share the anticipation and thrill of each wager. The dynamic energy of the casino night creates a unique date atmosphere, where laughter, cheers, and the occasional high-fives become part of the experience, making it one for your bucket list.
This is one of the greatest Sunday night date ideas for those who love to showcase their singing talent. Unleash your inner rock stars and infuse your Sunday with music and laughter at a local karaoke night. Head to a lively karaoke bar where the stage awaits your performance, and the crowd is ready to cheer you on.
Select your favorite songs, whether it’s a timeless classic or a current hit, and take turns showcasing your vocal talents. The playful atmosphere and shared amusement make karaoke nights one of the most fun things to do as a couple. And when you’re done, you can go restaurant hopping with your partner.
Add a dash of color to your list of Sunday afternoon date ideas by Immersing yourselves in the world of creativity and aesthetic wonders at a local art gallery. Wander through well-curated exhibits, where each stroke of paint and every sculpted form tells a unique story. Whether it’s contemporary pieces or classic masterworks, the gallery becomes a canvas for shared appreciation and thought-provoking discussions.
Engage with the art, share your interpretations, and discover the beauty that resonates with the two of you. The serene ambiance of the gallery is bound to encourage an unhurried exploration, allowing you to absorb the artistic expressions at your own pace.
Related Reading: 51 Non-Cliched Second Date Ideas That Will Lead To A Third
If you’re looking for creative date ideas, you’ve come to the right place. Ignite an air of mystery and excitement on a Sunday evening by embarking on a thrilling ghost tour. Join a local tour guide as they lead you through historical sites or haunted locations, sharing spine-chilling tales of the supernatural.
The dimly lit streets and the eerie atmosphere is bound to give you an immersive experience as you explore the haunted history of the area. Hold hands, exchange nervous laughter, and feel the thrill of the unknown together. This is one of those off-beat Sunday date ideas that you can cross off your bucket list.
—
The array of Sunday morning date ideas presented here, from adventurous escapades to cultural explorations, has something for everyone. By breaking away from routine and embracing these unique and inspired activities, you will open the door to shared laughter and meaningful conversations, apart from creating lasting memories.
23 Virtual Date Ideas For Long-Distance Couples To Feel Closer
You must be Logged in to ask a question.
[ad_2]
[ad_1]
New butterflies in your stomach? That exciting first date feeling can be exhilarating, but it can also leave you wondering, “Should I Date Him?” Maybe you’ve had a whirlwind week of texting, or a spark ignited during a chance encounter. Now, you’re faced with the decision: should you take the plunge and see where things go?
That’s why we bring you this “should I go out with him quiz”. This quiz, created by a licensed psychologist, is designed for responsible dating. It goes beyond the initial spark to help you navigate the often confusing early stages of a potential relationship.
Do you share similar values? How does he act in front of others? These are just some of the questions this quiz will help you explore. Think of it as a compass guiding you towards clarity. By reflecting on your interests, needs, and deal breakers, we’ll help you decide if you should date him!
Related Reading: Am I ready to date quiz
Related reading: Is he my soulmate? Quiz
1. How do you feel when you’re around him?
2. Do you share common interests and values?
3. How does he treat you in front of others?
4. What are your friends’ impressions of him?
5. How does he communicate with you?
6. How do you envision your future with him?
7. How does he handle disagreements or conflicts?
8. What’s your gut feeling about dating him?
9. How does he make you feel about yourself?
10. How does he priorities spending time with you?
11. Are you ready for a relationship with him?
You must be Logged in to ask a question.
[ad_2]
[ad_1]
Results showed that personality traits, physical build, and attractiveness were of high importance for men and women. Age, intelligence, and education were evenly rated, and income was not a main priority. And though there were general similarities, attraction, like beauty, was subjective.
[ad_2]
[ad_1]
Have you noticed the influx of media marketing lately? Post after post offers seminars or curriculum to help you “be the best you” that you can be because you deserve to live your dreams or change the world with your passion.
Am I the only one who feels pangs of anxiety when I look over these posts? There is almost a subliminal message that says:
I don’t know about you, but the very idea of these accusations sends me looking for a paper bag to breathe into.
When I start to feel overwhelmed by a barrage of “shoulda, woulda, coulda” thinking, I have learned it’s time to stop the voice in my head.
I don’t know about you, but comparing myself to others is exhausting. Yet, being a middle child and a born people-pleaser, my natural default is to compare myself to those more motivated than me. And when I do that I lose––every time.
Lose what? I’m glad you asked.
Living for the approval of others is never a worthy goal. Let’s face it; people pleasing is a moving target. We’ve all heard “You can’t please all the people all the time,” so if you’re a people pleaser, you will exhaust yourself trying to measure up to everyone else’s standard for success.
When you bow to the standard of others, you’ll also lose peace of mind. Because you will constantly compare yourself to how others are doing, or change your goals based on the comments of others.
So, what can you do? For me freedom from people pleasing came in a number of ways. First and foremost was when I surrendered my life to Jesus as my Lord and Savior because the Spirit of God gave me new life in Christ.
Once enslaved to my trespasses and sins, I found God set me free. By the power of His indwelling Spirit, God’s peace began to rule in my heart and mind in Christ Jesus (see Romans 6 and Philippians 4:7).
When I realized that God created me for His glory and not my own, I learned the most important person to please was the Lord my God. Wow––what a relief!
No longer did I need to seek the approval of others.
The only standard I had to live up to was the one Jesus called me to in relationship with Him.
So what is that standard?
In Mark 12:30-31, the religious leaders asked Jesus what was the priority of life. Jesus’ response was two-fold:
Now, don’t be tempted to simplify this statement to mean, “God doesn’t care about my sin; all that matters is love.” Because the truth is, if you’re loving God with your whole being, then the evidence of that love is your desire to walk in obedience to His commands.
Jesus said, “If you love me you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). So, there’s no way around it. If you’re going to please God alone then your love for Him will cause you to walk in obedience to Him.
The second part of Jesus’ response in Mark 12 was to love others as we love ourselves. Here’s the interesting part of that statement. We cannot love others in the selfless way God commands until we are living in love with Jesus. Because when we love Him properly, what spills out of us is His selfless love for others.
When you live to know and love the Lord and His love spills out of your life onto those around you, you will have learned the secret to breaking free of people-pleasing.
You see, as you draw near to God, He promises to draw near to you. And the closer you walk to Jesus, the more clearly you will have the mind of Christ to discern what He would have you do with your life––rather than comparing yourself to what others are doing with their lives (see James 4:8, 1 Corinthians 2:16).
There is nothing wrong with looking ahead to set some God-driven goals. You would be wise to daily spend quiet time alone with the Lord to seek His will for your life.
But more important than setting goals is the time you spend with Jesus. Because time with Him through prayer, Bible Study, and waiting in His presence is the secret to living the life you were meant to live.
And when you resolve to live in His presence, you will find the key to freedom from people pleasing.
Rhonda Stoppe is a pastor’s wife, speaker, and author. As the NO REGRETS WOMAN, Rhonda has more than 20 years experience of helping women live life with no regrets. Through humor, and honest communication, she helps women build NO REGRETS LIVES by applying sound teaching from Scripture. Rhonda appears on radio programs, speaks at women’s events, MOPs, and homeschool conventions throughout the nation. Rhonda Stoppe’s book Moms Raising Sons to be Men is mentoring thousands of moms to guide sons toward a no-regrets life. Her new book If My Husband Would Change, I’d Be Happy: And Other Myths Wives Believe is helping countless women build no-regrets marriages.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/jacoblund
Publication date: January 16, 2017
[ad_2]
Rhonda Stoppe
Source link
[ad_1]
Certain zodiac signs have a reputation for making excellent duos, while others might have a bit more trouble “clicking.” In the case of Aquarius and Gemini compatibility, these two air signs can make a powerful—and extremely intelligent—couple. There’s definitely more than meets the eye with this astrological pairing—here’s what to know.
[ad_2]
[ad_1]
It can be very confusing and distressing to lose feelings for someone while you’re still dating. You might think the relationship has run its course—and while that could be true, it’s also possible for feelings to return. Healthy relationships involve work and maintenance, and this hard-earned romantic homeostasis can aid in our overall wellbeing and longevity.
[ad_2]
[ad_1]
Relationships Editor
Relationships Editor
Francesca Bond is mindbodygreen’s relationships editor.
Image by Jovo Jovanovic / Stocksy
March 13, 2024
Finding ways to distill our personalities into bite-sized online profiles is only becoming more important, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. We’re complicated people with a range of interests, moods, and desires—how can someone see all of that by just scrolling through our dating profile? They can’t, but that doesn’t mean we can’t use prompts to try our best to convey the things that matter the most to us.
On a dating profile, pictures can only say so much.
Through words, you can provide a sample of your sense of humor, your interests, and what you’re looking for in a match.
According to Hinge’s distraction-free dating guide, developed by behavioral scientist and dating coach Logan Ury (who also happens to be Hinge’s director of relationship science), and licensed therapist Moe Ari Brown, LMFT, you should be clear about the type of connection you seek on your profile and while matching with someone.
Prompts provide opportunities for you to share exactly what you’re looking for in your match. If you want a long-term monogamous partner, a casual relationship, or someone interested in ethical nonmonogamy, try to find a way to say that somewhere in your profile. After all, the worst that could happen is someone swipes away from your profile—but if you don’t align on what you’re looking for, then that’s probably for the best.
If it’s important for you to have a lot in common with your partner, then open up about your interests and hobbies within your profile. Maybe you love playing board games and are seeking someone who is open to spending a lot of their free time playing Dungeons & Dragons with you—that’s exactly the kind of thing you can find out by using Hinge prompts.
Also—don’t be afraid to be yourself in your dating profile. This isn’t the time and place to be diplomatic. You’re looking for your people. Use your Hinge prompts to share your opinions, boundaries, beliefs, and maybe even an embarrassing photo, according to dating coach Samantha Pillsbury.
“Your imperfect profile should be perfectly you. It gives you the best chance to meet somebody who is a real fit for you as a person and helps you weed out people you probably would have ended up eliminating on a second or third date anyway,” Pillsbury previously wrote for mindbodygreen.
To answer this prompt, just think about topics you actually want to be asked about. For example:
What are you looking for in a partner? Think of green flags as the opposite of red flags—good signs that your match will meet your needs:
Take this as an opportunity to open up about your needs in a relationship. If someone doesn’t fit the bill, then you probably don’t want them to match with you in the first place:
Here’s a chance to flex your knowledge and, you guessed it, convey another one of your values. What kind of food do you like eating? Are you a coffee snob? Do you stop by a museum every weekend?
Maybe your photos tell one story, but you want your potential match to know that you contain multitudes. You can subvert expectations with this prompt. Share something that people might not expect when looking at you:
Love them or hate them, dad jokes are useful for an easy laugh. There are no shortage of dad jokes available online, but here are a few ideas to get you started:
Not to downplay your fears, but this prompt presents a good opportunity to poke some fun at yourself. Choose a fear that is so irrational that it really is kind of funny:
It doesn’t matter if you’re actually the go-to advice guru for your friend group or not. You can still answer this prompt in a funny way. Try to take this prompt less seriously, and answer according to your sense of humor:
Here is another opportunity to share something about your values—and help your potential match understand how they could make you happy:
Use this prompt to reveal something intimate, but not too vulnerable, about yourself:
This prompt is open to a lot of interpretation, so get creative with your answer:
Here’s where you can communicate the kind of relationship you’re seeking, whether that’s a monogamous relationship, a casual fling, or a polyamorous partner:
1.
Just because you used your phone to get your date doesn’t mean you should use your phone while on your date. According to Hinge, 78% of Hinge dates feel like their date isn’t interested in them if they spend time on their phone during the date.
2.
3.
Sure, you could grab a drink or a coffee, but what if you did something a little more creative? Try going to a flea market and finding unique treasures, or going on a guided tour of your city, or taking a dance class. Your date will be more memorable and, at the very least, will break up the monotony of dating.
Dating apps provide an opportunity to meet people outside of your immediate circle—and start a relationship off on the same page. But making the perfect match isn’t easy, so try opening up about your feelings, needs, and opinions to help find someone compatible with you.
[ad_2]
[ad_1]
There is a common myth that all single men in their thirties and forties are immature. While this is a common belief, it is not true. In some cases, it may be true, but one should not be dogmatic in saying that all single men who are in their thirties and forties are immature. This is a statement that cannot be backed up with truth because it is not based on any solid foundation.
Rather, people try to claim single men within this age range are immature because they are not married. It is important to note that just because a person is not married does not mean they are immature. In the same way, just because a person is married does not mean they are mature. It is incorrect to define a person’s maturity based on whether they are married or not.
Instead of judging men based on their marital status, you need to look at them as individuals. You do not know the reason behind why they are bachelors in their thirties and forties. It could be they have dedicated their life to following Jesus, haven’t found anyone they truly love yet, or have other focuses in life. Therefore, it is important to debunk the myth that all bachelors in their thirties and forties are immature.
Measuring maturity by a person’s marital status is not wise. As mentioned, being married or not is not a measuring rod for a person’s maturity levels. If anything, bachelors in their thirties and forties may be more mature than you think. Many people believe that bachelors are selfish and only care about themselves, but this is not true. There are many reasons why a single man may choose to stay single.
Oftentimes it is their maturity that helps them choose to be unmarried. Within the Christian community, there is a false belief that marriage is the end goal or the ultimate form of happiness. This is not true as our goal as Christians needs to be helping other people come to know Christ and maturing in our own walk with God. Not everyone will get married, but it does not make them any less of a person.
If a bachelor chooses to stay unmarried, the Apostle Paul actually says this is better (1 Corinthians 7:25-40). Tragically, many Christians are distorting the Word of God by condemning those who choose to stay single. There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying single for a male or female. If a Christian decides in their heart to stay unmarried and chooses to spend their time focused on God, this is a noble thing. Never should other Christians condemn individuals who choose to stay unmarried. Even the term “bachelor” can be seen as derogatory.
It is also important to note that there are many reasons why a man may choose to stay unmarried, even if he is in his thirties or forties. As mentioned earlier, it could be because he is choosing to dedicate his life to following Jesus, hasn’t found the one, or is choosing to spend time bettering himself. While many people might see these things as selfish, they are not. Sadly, men tend to be seen as “lazy,” “selfish,” or “immature” for not being married, but these aren’t blanket statements to apply to all men.
Rather, it is important to look at the individual and not pass judgment on them. You never know why a person chooses to stay unmarried unless you truly know them and they open up to you. Even if you may personally believe everyone should get married does not mean that this is what everyone else believes. In fact, it is not even what God says.
Nowhere in the Bible do we see God promising marriage to all people. Marriage is a gift, but singleness is also a gift. Unfortunately, within Christian culture, people do not tend to treat singleness as a gift. Instead, they treat it as a great tragedy or something that should be avoided at all costs. This is not a healthy way to think nor is it biblical. Whether a person gets married or not, they can still live a life to the glory of God. A person doesn’t have to be married to follow God, serve Him, or glorify Him in their actions.
It could also be someone stays unmarried because they have gone through a bad breakup in the past or they might even be divorced. Due to their bad relationships in the past, they might feel unsafe opening up to someone again. It could be that they still love the person that ended things with them or they are trying to heal from the wounds. Nonetheless, do not judge someone’s maturity or morality based on their marital status. It is not wise and will only lead to pushing this person away from the community of believers.
The Lord tells us plainly to not judge others (Matthew 7:1). Judging others is not within our responsibility. Judgment is God’s responsibility. He will judge everyone in accordance with His perfect rule. Rather than choosing to pass judgment on men who stay single in their thirties and forties, we need to encourage them to live their lives for the glory of God. Being single does not count you out for living the abundant life that Jesus died for (John 10:10).
If you have been in the habit of looking down on men who are unmarried, try to change the narrative. Look at the man individually and see how he is living. Is he kind? Is he living to the glory of God? Is he trying his best to help others know Jesus? If you find he is doing all of these things, there is no reason to think badly of him or to think he is immature. Rather, he is just a man who has chosen to remain single.
Choosing to remain single is a personal decision. It does not have to be approved by people. Whether a person gets married or stays single, they can still live their lives to the glory of God. The Lord looks at our hearts (1 Samuel 16:7)—he does not look at our marital status. If you are a single man in your thirties or forties, know that God will do wonderful things with your life and your singleness.
Oftentimes, Christian singles can do the most for God because they are worried about pleasing the Lord rather than pleasing a spouse (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). Therefore, there is nothing immature about this. Living for God, dedicating all of your time to the Lord, and helping others come to know Him are all very mature things to do. There is beauty in marriage and there is also beauty in singleness.
Instead of trying to say one is better or more mature, we need to see married couples and singles as equals. In no way is one more superior than the other. As believers, we are to live in unity with one another, but we cannot do this if there are believers condemning other believers because they have chosen not to be married or have not gotten married by a certain age. There needs to be unity within the family of believers or there will only be disorder.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Andrey Maximenko
[ad_2]
Vivian Bricker
Source link
[ad_1]
John Newton is known as the author of Amazing Grace. Newton was always astounded by the grace he received. Towards the end of his life he said “Although my memory’s fading, I remember two things very clearly; I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.”
The dearest love in the heart of Newton was the Lord Jesus. But there was another great love that Newton sometimes feared was a rival to his affection for Christ. That rival was his sweet Polly—also known as Mary Catlett and the would-be wife of John Newton. This is their love story.
It is rather doubtful that John Newton and Mary (Polly) Catlett had feelings of love at first sight. Rather, it’s far more likely that they were fighting over a beloved toy. Elizabeth Newton and Elizabeth Catlett, best friends, had joked that perhaps the then 6-year-old John might Mary the then 3-year-old Polly. Yet even the faintest hopes of their union would seem to have been an impossibility when John’s mother died a year later, and young John was sent off to boarding school.
It would be almost a decade later that the two would “meet.” And on this occasion, at least for John, it was love at first sight. As one biographer wrote: “Almost at first sight of this girl, then under fourteen years of age, he was impressed with such an affection for her as appears to have equaled all that the writers of romance have imagined.”[1]
Just as Gilligan’s “three hour tour” turned into three seasons of television, so also did the smitten Newton’s quick visit turn into a three week stay. Though he was so overtaken by Polly that he mentally replanned his entire life, the young girl was unable to return those affections. And Newton was compelled to serve in the British Navy.
It would be four years that John was away at sea. Though he kept his love for Polly alive, those four years had hardened and shaped Newton into a rebellious and vulgar sailor. Though he would now reject any notion of God, he still had a heart for this young lady who captivated him years prior. As Newton would tell it:
“I soon lost,” says he, “all sense of religion and became deaf to the remonstrances of conscience and prudence: but my regard for her was always the same, and I may, perhaps, venture to say, that none of the scenes of misery and wickedness I afterward experienced ever banished her a single hour together from my waking thoughts for the seven following years.”[2]
But soon, his affections would be transformed by another.
While on a slave trading voyage, Newton the sailor was caught in a violent storm. And it was here that for the first time in many years Newton prayed. He was not entirely changed at this point, but it began the first seeds of a deep heart change Newton would experience.
John, who had been corresponding through Polly’s aunt, met some great disappointment. He believed himself unworthy of Polly and decided to break it off. Finances were also an issue. He knew he could not provide the financial stability that the Catlett’s would need to see in order to entrust their beloved Mary to him. His sensibilities, having been somewhat reformed by this storm and now meeting this new discouragement, John decided to end the romance.
Unbeknownst to him, though, his father and the Catlett family had already arranged an engagement between the two. There was only one sticking point—Polly. What would she think of this arrangement? Newton was unsure and often found himself tongue-tied around her. He wrote her by letter to see if she felt the same about him. When she responded, though cautiously, that she shared at least some affection, John was over the moon.
Newton continued his time on a slave ship, hoping to earn a solid living so he could propose marriage. It is difficult to say whether Newton had been actually converted at this point. He doesn’t develop evangelical views until a few years later. But by 1753, we know that his heart was indeed captured by another—the Lord Jesus. He wrote to his, now wife Polly, “I wish to limit my passion within those bounds which God has appointed.”
On February 1, 1750, John Newton and Mary (Polly) Catlett were united in marriage. They would remain together until 1790, when Polly died of breast cancer. Their affections for one another were deep. In 1793, to honor her, John published two volumes of letters that he had sent to Mary throughout their marriage.
They understood that their marriage was a gift from God. Newton once wrote to his wife:
For, when I take up my pen, and begin to consider what I shall say, I am led to think of the goodness of God, who has made you mine, and given me a heart to value you. Thus my love to you, and my gratitude to him, cannot be separated. And, as you are so good to prize my affection, by finding it thus accompanied, you may be assured of its being unalterable. All other love that is not thus connected with a dependence upon God must be precarious. To this want I attribute many unhappy marriages. I believe many persons fall from their hopes of satisfaction in that state, by degrees insensible to themselves; and a secret change, or alienation of mind from each other takes place before they are well aware of it; till, in time, they proceed to such lengths as they would once have judged impossible.[3]
Newton believed that their happy marriage was a direct result of their love for Christ. It became the immovable foundation for their love for one another. This love continued through all of their years. Newton wrote in 1770: “I can remember when the sun seemed to shine in vain, and the whole creation appeared as a blank if you were from me. Not that I love you less. The intercourse of many successive years has endeared you more and more to my heart.”[4]
This love endured through many years of ministry. In 1764, John Newton became rector of the Church at Olney. It was during this time that he developed a friendship with William Cowper. Cowper was often depressed and suicidal and would require almost constant supervision by the Newtons. During this time as pastor of Olney, Newton’s fame grew as his Authentic Narrative was published.
He kept this post in Olney until 1779, when the couple moved to London. This provided far more luxury and comfort but perhaps even more busyness. From Olney and throughout his ministry in London, John was very busy, and this would have likely added some strain to their message—but their dedication to one another and the cause of Christ sustained them. Newton did not take the path of many fellow ministers during the time, who seemed to have all but abandoned their families. Newton remained dedicated to Polly.
They also endured much familial heartbreak. Mary was often gone taking care of her ailing parents and siblings. Also, though the couple never had their own children, they did adopt two of their nieces, Betsy Catlett and Eliza Cunningham. In 1774, they took in Betsy, who would outlive both the Newtons. Eliza came to the Newton’s when she was gravely ill at the age of 12. They took her in as her own until she sadly died in 1785.
It would be five years later that Polly would succumb to breast cancer. Upon her death, Newton wrote:
When I was sure she was gone, I took off her ring, according to her repeated injunction, and put it upon my own finger. I then kneeled down, with the servants who were in the room, and returned the Lord my unfeigned thanks for her deliverance and her peaceful dismission.
How wonderful must be the moment after death! What a transition did she then experience! She was instantly freed from sin, and all its attendant sorrows, and, I trust, instantly admitted to join the heavenly choir. That moment was remarkable to me, likewise. It removed from me the chief object which made another day or hour of life, as to my own personal concern, desirable. At the same time, it set me free from a weight of painful feelings and anxieties, under which nothing short of a divine power could have so long supported me.[5]
Newton was certainly grief-stricken, but it didn’t impact his ministry. He continued on in all of his ministry the next day. He even preached at Polly’s funeral. Many critiqued him for this, but his resolve here was connected to the entire pattern of their marriage. He loved Polly deeply. But he also understood that she was a gift to him from God. He held her in proper place and so he was able to hold her well.
Their love story is a beautiful reminder of the depth of Christian love. But it’s also a picture of Christ’s love for the church. It motivates us to love others deeply but to keep our affections proper so we can love people well. This kind of love flows from Christ.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/carton_king
[1] John Newton, Richard Cecil, The Works of the John Newton, vol. 1 (London: Hamilton, Adams & Co., 1824), 6.
[2] John Newton, Richard Cecil, The Works of the John Newton, vol. 1 (London: Hamilton, Adams & Co., 1824), 6.
[3] John Newton and Richard Cecil, The Works of John Newton, vol. 5 (London: Hamilton, Adams & Co., 1824), 394–395.
[4] John Newton and Richard Cecil, The Works of John Newton, vol. 5 (London: Hamilton, Adams & Co., 1824), 564.
[5] John Newton and Richard Cecil, The Works of John Newton, vol. 5 (London: Hamilton, Adams & Co., 1824), 621.
Mike Leake is husband to Nikki and father to Isaiah and Hannah. He is also the lead pastor at Calvary of Neosho, MO. Mike is the author of Torn to Heal and Jesus Is All You Need. His writing home is http://mikeleake.net and you can connect with him on Twitter @mikeleake. Mike has a new writing project at Proverbs4Today.
This article originally appeared on Christianity.com. For more faith-building resources, visit
Christianity.com.
[ad_2]
Mike Leake
Source link
[ad_1]
So, you’ve been dating for a while. He seems dreamy and everything is going great. You’re in love and you know it but you’re left wondering if he feels the same way. Does this sound familiar? Many of us have wrestled with the age-old question: “does he actually love me?”
We’re here to clear your confusion with this ‘Does He Love Me Test’. Crafted by a relationship counsellor who has helped many couples and understands how to spot all the signs, it will help you figure out your relationship dynamics. No more wasting petals off of flowers wondering, “does he love me or not?”. Your answer is 10 simple yet insightful questions away.
This quiz can help clear your confusion and empower you to move forward with more clarity about your relationship. So, take a deep breath and embark on this journey of discovery. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. Even if the results tell you he doesn’t love you, it doesn’t mean he won’t in the future. It simply means your love needs more time to bloom and so you need to water it with effort, communication, and a deep understanding of each other’s needs.
Related Quiz: Does my ex still love me? Quiz
Related Quiz: Am I capable of love? Quiz
1. How does he express affection towards you?
2. How does he prioritise your needs and wants in the relationship?
3. How does he communicate with you during difficult times or conflicts?
4. How does he behave around your friends and family?
5. How does he handle making future plans with you?
6. How does he react to your achievements or successes?
7. How does he respond to your emotional needs or vulnerability?
8. How does he priorities spending time with you?
9. How does he talk about your future together?
10. How does he make you feel about yourself and the relationship?
You must be Logged in to ask a question.
[ad_2]
[ad_1]
Approximately 40-50% of adults are shy, making it hard for you to not only make friends – but to find the special someone. Across the world, shy people have a little bit more trouble and have to use a lot more effort to get out there and take the chance. Thanks to the technology today, it is a bit easier to do it online. Here is the best advice for shy and anxious people using apps to date.
RELATED: Yacht Rock Pairs Perfectly With Cocktails
Shyness and social anxiety can go hand in hand. Social anxiety is the fear of social situations involving other people, with a focus on “being embarrassed, humiliated, rejected or looked down on in social interactions.” But this is not fully a barrier to finding a bestie, a partner or even just a lover.
Before you start, make a list of the best qualities friends and family share about you. It will take you into the connections/messaging/chatting with a positive vibe. Know your worth of before you find someone special, it will give you a better space to start.
Also, narrow what you want in a partner, it gives you a better focus as you interact with others. Maybe 3-4 things so you have a solid base.
One thing which diminishes stress and the feeling of being out of control is research. Before you start swiping get to know the different dating apps, specially those that are designed with shy or anxious people in mind. While these apps might have a smaller user base than Tinder, they might adapt better to your needs. In research find out the best tips for profiles, responses, etc.
Every person is different when it comes to managing anxiety. While some prefer to keep it to themselves or journal it out, others seek the help of their friends and family members. Don’t doubt yourself or feel embarrassed when setting up your profile; ask friends and family on their opinions and allow them to help you choose an interesting bio and some flattering pictures. Also, ask opinions on when and how to share information to others online.
While dating apps help break the ice, it’s very common for people to chat with hundreds and never go on a date. Set some time limits and don’t let yourself chat with people with no discernible goal in sight. Dating apps are for dating, which means that at some point you’re going to have to meet this person face to face. It’s also important to prevent your dating app use to intrude on your day to day life. Avoid using the app while working or when doing something you normally enjoy. If you need some help in keeping track of your app use, enable your smartphone time management feature. This tool will limit your time on the app, setting up a fixed amount of minutes per day that block the app once you’ve been there for too long.
RELATED: 5 Dating Apps Perfect For Introverts And Shy People
One of the best parts about dating apps is the fact that you can get to know the person you’ll be meeting before a face to face encounter. Take advantage of all chatting and text messaging by taking your time to come up with questions and answers without having the pressure of a stranger waiting for the perfect response. But a warning, don’t go too long just chatting, it can set unrealistic expectations when you do finally meet in person.
Breaks are very helpful for all sorts of dating app users. While dating around and chatting with people can be very fun, rejection is also almost always part of the equation. Know this might happen at any moment and you might spend weeks swiping around without having a match. Take a break and then jump back in.
[ad_2]
Sarah Johns
Source link
[ad_1]
As a teenager in my local church, my stomach would churn every time I spotted a certain lady coming to church without her husband. She was wedded in our church in a beautiful, enviable ceremony. She and her groom were visibly in love, barely able to shift their gazes from each other the entire day. My friends and I were completely enthralled by the couple’s display of love.
A few years later, the lady was still attending our church but the husband had shifted to another. I felt crushed by the turn of events in their marriage. Like most teenagers, I was greatly intrigued by the subject of marriage. Among the things I envisioned in marriage was unity, and it broke my heart to see the couple divided on which church to attend.
It’s not uncommon to find couples split down the middle on which church they should attend. One of them may, for instance, prefer a congregation inclined to liturgical worship while their partner may be sold out to charismatic worship. Couples may also differ along doctrinal lines where one partner may feel that the church preferred by the other is not doctrinally sound. How should couples proceed when pulled in opposite directions where church is concerned?
Here are six things to put to mind as you both ferret for a solution:
The scriptures teach that after marriage, a man and his wife are no longer two individuals but one flesh. God then issues a warning—no one should separate those He has joined together. Unity is one of the distinctive marks of marriage. In fact, it can be said to be the foundation of marriage since the essence of marriage is leaving and cleaving.
And whilst two cannot walk together unless they are agreed, those in marriage have already decided to walk together. Seeing them walk separate ways when it comes to church attendance therefore goes against the grain. It’s like hearing a bird buzzing like a bee instead of chirping away. It’s simply not expected.
Paul referred to the Corinthian church as letters of recommendation written in his heart, to be known and read by all (2 Corinthians 3:2, ESV). Whether we realize it or not, people are scrutinizing our marriages. They yearn to see love, unity, respect, trust, godliness, fidelity, etc. They are rooting for our marriages, hoping and praying that we will weather every storm and come out triumphantly.
Besides that, God wants the light in our marriages to shine before men so that they will see our good works and glorify him in heaven (Mathew 5:16). Our marriages should be a pattern of good works. Failing to agree on a church does not bring glory to God and we should refrain from getting comfortable with such an arrangement. Furthermore, attending different churches gets very confusing for children as they get pulled in different directions. Do they attend mommy’s or daddy’s church?
There is no confusion that godly wisdom cannot quell. God does not want His children to wobble around, drenched in confusion, unsure of which path to tread. He is the Good Shepherd who leads us in green pastures (Psalm 23). He sent His Son Jesus so that we could have life in abundance. He wants the best for us and our families and loves to see us thrive! James taught that if anyone lacks wisdom, they should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to them (James 1:5-6).
Wisdom is the ability to discern what is right and acceptable. The good news? God is generous with wisdom. If you and your spouse are finding it hard to agree on a church, seek God’s wisdom. Ask Him to lead you to the right church for your family. Remember that by wisdom a house is built, and through understanding, it is established (Proverbs 24:3).
For any marriage to succeed, spouses have to ditch selfishness and uphold their spouse’s needs above theirs. Philippians 2:3 implores us to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility, to value others above ourselves. God designed marriage as a place where Christ’s relationship with the Church would be demonstrated. That’s why Paul instructed wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord and husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and died for her (Ephesians 5:22-28).
When both of you have different opinions regarding the church to join, it’s time for both of you to cede ground for the good of the marriage. In fact, don’t wait for your spouse to be the first to relinquish their control. Believers are called to outdo each other in showing honor. Be the first to baffle him/her with your humility.
This could mean that the wife decides to settle for the church her husband is interested in, as an act of submission. This could also mean that the husband goes along with the wife’s church preference as a demonstration of his sacrificial love for her. Remember, yielding to another person’s will is not a sign of weakness but of strength and power. Jesus taught that whoever desires to become great shall first be a servant (Matthew 20:16). The way up is down.
A little creativity will go a long way in helping you and your spouse settle on a church with neither of you feeling too aggrieved. Pastor Jay of the Gospel Obsessed suggests that since almost all churches record their services, you can always listen to your favorite preacher later on in the week. So you can agree to attend the church your spouse favors and still tune in to your church of choice online. That sounds like a double blessing!
Both of you can also look for a church that caters to both of your preferences. For example, you can get a church that combines both traditional and contemporary worship styles.
What do you do if your spouse wants you to join a cult? Should you tag along for unity’s sake? As believers, our first allegiance is to God. We should not disobey God to please our spouses. In Acts 5, Peter and the other apostles were prohibited by the high priest and the Sadducees from teaching in the name of Jesus and spreading His doctrine. They didn’t mince their words on this matter. “We ought to obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).
We too ought to obey God rather than our spouses. We have a right to differ when they implore us to be part of churches that dishonor God. We are first accountable to God before any human being.
A Christian counselor can help you and your spouse navigate this challenge. Christian counselors combine clinical practice approaches with religious or spiritual principles to help believers maneuver various life issues. You can also seek counsel from an older Christian couple that you trust. King Solomon observed that where there is no counsel, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors, there is safety (Proverbs 11:14).
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/People Images
[ad_2]
Keren Kanyago
Source link
[ad_1]
Disclaimer: This isn’t therapy, and Dr. Audrey’s advice is for the general audience, meaning it may not always work for everyone.
Currently separated from my husband. I have intentions on remaining faithful and trying to work on our marriage. He has picked back up on bad habits, drinking, smoking weed, taking mushrooms, porn and sleeping around and staying in houses with other women. I’m hurt because I prayed and sought The Lord before getting married. . . Since knowing that he has been with other women, I’m ready to throw in towel, but it hurts because I love him and just want him to love me back. I’ve isolated myself and no one to really talk to this about. My family who are not saved always tell me I have problems and should not have married. His parents are believers but don’t encourage him to do what’s right in the sight of God. I’m very broken, can’t sleep without having bad dreams that me and my husband are done. I for sure thought God called us to be together. What should I do? We have 2 very young children together as well who ask about their father daily. – AH
I’m doubly sorry because neither your family nor his has supplied the help you need. This lack of support makes your agony even harder to bear.
Given all you’ve shared, I have three recommendations.
Nobody can survive stressful times by fighting solo. This is particularly true when young children are in the picture, like in your situation. That’s why finding a Bible-believing church needs to be one of your top priorities. Seek a spiritual house where you can feel safe enough to join.
See the word “enough” in the last sentence? I’m borrowing this principle from a famed British psychoanalyst, D. W. Winnicott. He coined the term of being a “good enough” mother. She doesn’t perfectly attune to her baby’s needs but is doing a good enough job, leaving the baby with only small amounts of frustration.
This concept is helpful because, as I’m sure you know, you can search through all denominations and still, you won’t find a perfect church. Maybe the music is too contemporary or the distance makes it daunting to go regularly. But if that place preaches the Bible and the people there love the Lord then tolerate small frustrations and get planted there.
Why?
Because our faith in God—in His goodness, love, and power to see us through—needs regular boosters, but especially during hard times. Faith comes by hearing the Word (Romans 10:17). If ever there’s a time for you not to forsake the assembling of ourselves (Hebrews 10:25), it’s now, when you’re facing a trial. So, bulk up on sermons and the Word of God.
Research also shows churchgoers tend to fare better in physical and mental health. Improved mental health might have something to do with the opportunity churchgoing creates in socializing with like-minded individuals. After all, a friend loves at all times (Proverbs 17:17); so, when you’re parched for love, hang around friends.
Isn’t it interesting this Proverb doesn’t say a spouse loves at all times? It’s sad when our own spouse treats us as though we’re as valuable as a used tissue. But a true friend wouldn’t mind babysitting for you or listening to your distress.
Should you stay married when your spouse hasn’t respected your vows?
If you believe God joined the two of you in marriage, you should fight for your relationship. “Let no one split apart what God has joined together” (Mark 10:9, NLT).
But staying married is hard when your husband is gallivanting around. For one thing, unless he’s thoroughly repentant, it’s unwise to trust him with your heart.
This is why you need to hear, for yourself, what the Almighty decrees about your situation. His view is what matters. Take His word over your family’s or even your husband’s behavior.
Especially because you can always rely on God’s grace to do His ways.
For instance, if He instructs you to stay the course, He will also grant you the grace and supernatural love for your husband as you bear this unpleasant situation. (“Love bears all things,” Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:7.)
If you feel God is leading you this way, ask for specific prayer points to pray for your husband to come to his senses. Pray for you too, so you can “stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand” (Ephesians 6:13) as you continue to navigate through the hardship.
One last word on this thread.
If God called you to remain separated (at least for now), you could trust Him to deal with your man during the break. But brace yourself. Things could grow gloomier in the meantime. Whatever happens, though, you can trust Him to keep working on your husband.
Discerning what God says is best done when you shut out the world. Even with young kids to care for, there are things you can do to plan a private retreat. Read the first bullet point in this article for helpful tips.
Seeking God’s heart on the matter might be crucial, but teasing out His voice from our own can be complicated. Many have made the mistake and attributed to God what actually arose from their own souls.
I include myself in that number.
This is why I also recommend Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. This unique therapy modality recognizes the many inner voices we hear as coming from different parts of our souls. Practicing IFS helps us distinguish these voices from the Almighty’s.
But let me back up and explain. We’re made up of spirit, soul, and body (1 Thessalonians 5:23). And just as our body consists of many parts, the same goes for our soul.
To determine whether you’ve heard from parts of your soul, here is a quick test. Have you noticed these inner reactions following your husband’s misbehavior?
How could he do this?
What should I do? File for divorce?
I thought God wanted us to be together. Shouldn’t we stick it out? But how, when my husband doesn’t give a flipping care?
What should I tell the kids when they ask about their dad again?
If you resonate with any of the above, that’s because you’ve heard some of your parts expressing themselves.
Validate them. Say something like: “I hear you. Thanks for sharing your opinion candidly with me. I don’t have all the answers, but God will help us get through this storm.”
Listening to our parts calms them down.
This is what it means to be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10). The stillness of your soul makes hearing God’s voice easier to do.
So, after spending time listening to your parts and their concerns about your husband’s hurtful behavior, invite God into the conversation. Listen to the Lord. The One who is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) will say something soothing to you, while also steering you to the right path.
It’s easier for someone who’s trained in the model to guide you with IFS. That’s why I recommend investing in your own emotional welfare by hiring an IFS therapist. Head to the IFS Institute website to find an IFS therapist near you.
But if you don’t feel comfortable with IFS, that’s fine. Find a competent therapist who is clinically skilled and won’t undermine your worldview. (Some therapists, on hearing about your husband’s indiscretions, might quickly advise you to leave him—without hearing the other parts of you that might want to stay.)
If you want a therapist who shares your faith, check out Focus on the Family for a list of Christian therapists.
May God’s will be done in your life—as well as your husband’s—as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10).
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Engin Akyurt
Audrey Davidheiser, PhD is a California licensed psychologist, certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, and IFSI-approved clinical consultant. After founding and directing a counseling center for the Los Angeles Dream Center, she now devotes her practice to survivors of trauma—including spiritual abuse. If you need her advice, visit her on www.aimforbreakthrough.com
[ad_2]
Dr. Audrey Davidheiser
Source link
[ad_1]
Whether it’s due to a tragic event or years of pent-up hurt and unforgiveness, many of us have family members who are estranged from one another. That sibling who hasn’t spoken to you in years. That parent you haven’t wanted to reach out to. That uncle you need to avoid for your own health.
This can be a wrestle, emotionally and spiritually. It hurts when family members stop speaking to one another. We all want the happy family dreams we see on our screens. We all want unity and family memories, family celebrations, etc. But so often, reality does not quite measure up to the fantasy.
This is even more complicated when your family members begin to feel like enemies when they are out to slander you or cut you off relationally. This brings up so much heartache and pain.
While boundaries with those toxic family members are healthy and good, one way we can continue to love our estranged family members while remaining separated from them is through prayer.
But let’s be honest – when family-drama emotions are heightened, or anger is ignited when it all feels deeply unfair and hurtful – you might not know how to pray. This is when we can turn to the scriptures to find wisdom.
Psalm 41, in fact, a song by King David, was written about a season when David’s enemies were rising against him. He cries out to God for comfort in his distress and speaks honestly and openly about the pain of being attacked by a close community. Though he was not necessarily writing about estranged family members, it’s a very relatable passage of scripture.
“Blessed are those who have regard for the weak; the Lord delivers them in their times of trouble. The Lord protects and preserves them—they are counted among the blessed in the land…”- Psalm 41: 1, 2
2. Lord, sustain them when they are sick, restore them when they are ill.
“The Lord sustains them on their sickbeds and restores them from their bed of illness. – Psalm 41: 3
3. Jesus, have mercy on us both and stop any false accusations or slander that is destroying our relationship.
“I said, “Have mercy on me, Lord; heal me, for I have sinned against you. My enemies say of me in malice, “When will he die and his name perish?” When one of them comes to see me, he speaks falsely while his heart gathers slander;
then he goes out and spreads it around. – Psalm 41: 4-6
4. God, I am deeply sad and angry that they have turned against me. Heal my heart and theirs. Bring our relationship to full restoration if that is your will.
“Even my close friend, someone I trusted, one who shared my bread, has turned[ against me. But may you have mercy on me, Lord; raise me up, that I may repay them. – Psalm 41: 9,10
5. In the meantime, the Spirit of God transforms them (and me) into people of integrity. Uphold and set us all in your presence forever, even though we are not currently in each other’s presence.
“Because of my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever.”- Psalm 41: 12
6. I praise you, oh God, your love is everlasting, even when human love fails.
“Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Amen and Amen.” – Psalm 41: 13
What you’ll be surprised to discover, as you pray this Psalm over your estranged family member(s), is this – though the relationship might not change or be reconciled, your heart will soften and be transformed.
God will meet you in the frustration of it all and invite you into a newer, deeper family relationship with him.
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Pheelings Media
This article originally appeared on Christianity.com. For more faith-building resources, visit
Christianity.com.
[ad_2]
Aubrey Sampson
Source link
[ad_1]
Walking keeps your body and mind in shape, while spending quality time with your partner helps maintain your connection. It makes sense that combining the two would lead to a great match. Going for a walk with your partner can benefit your health, relationship, and mood.
[ad_2]
