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  • How To Show Respect In A Relationship — 9 Ways

    How To Show Respect In A Relationship — 9 Ways

    R-E-S-P-E-C-T. The great singer Aretha Franklin sang about it. Tomes have been written about it. Respect as a concept is essential to any successful relationship, platonic or otherwise. But what does showing respect mean? Some consider it to imply admiration. Others refer to it as a basic human right. Respect in a relationship – of the romantic kind – implies the equality of both partners. It prescribes a situation where no one person is “superior” to the other. Both people accept the other as they are and value their uniqueness. 

    If you do not trust, prioritize, and respect your partner, you can be assured that a loving relationship will not develop. Healthy relationships necessitate mutual respect. However, it’s as important to cater to one’s own needs as it is to build respect for your partner’s boundaries and personal space. 

    What Does It Mean To Have Respect In A Relationship? 

    In a study on respect in close relationships, the Gottman model for relationships was discussed especially in relation to the absence of the role of respect. A marital researcher mentions, “Most couples I have worked with over the years have wanted only two things from a relationship – Love and respect.” There are several ways of looking at respect and love in a relationship. Let’s look at the different schools of thought on this topic:

    • Daily treatment of a partner: Some people say that respect is in how two people treat each other on a daily basis. Less arguments, more love
    • Fighting with love: Some believe that a healthy relationship does not mean no arguments or zero conflict. The crux lies in how these disagreements are addressed
    • Value for the other’s opinion: Is there mutual understanding about what the other brings to the table? A respectful partner values the other’s opinion and indulges in active listening
    • Freedom: Day-to-day life in a relationship must allow for a sense of freedom and individuality. Many people consider this the epitome of a respectful relationship
    • Self-respect is more important: One school of thought says it is crucial to have a strong sense of self-respect. Without self-esteem and maintenance of one’s own boundaries, it’s impossible to build healthy relationships with others. Believe that you are worthy of your high standards. Be secure in your own feelings and self-perception. Listen to your own needs, look after your well-being and mental health, and honor the whole person you intrinsically are

    Related Reading: 15 Core Values In A Relationship For A Happy And Lasting Bond

    A research paper on respect and love in romantic relationships explores what respect means to different people. According to their findings, “The definition depends on the setting and type of relationship.” It says that respect basically means regarding “someone as worthy of investing one’s time and energy. Respect is an important aspect of human relating, both in intimate, personal relationships and in more formal role relationships, where respect is part of interpersonal civility. In fact it is implicitly tied to nearly all relationships (e.g., partner, family, friends).”

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    Building respect in a relationship — An 8-point checklist

    To help you and your partner understand what respect means for you both in your relationship, go through this list of questions with each other: 

    • What does it mean to you to develop respect in the relationship with your partner? 
    • Do you have any hard boundaries that cannot be crossed? 
    • Are you open about your feelings? Can you communicate honestly?
    • Do you share feedback and enjoy open communication? 
    • Do you trust your romantic partner? 
    • Do you give your relationship the time and effort it deserves? 
    • What, according to you, is controlling behavior? 
    • How can you demonstrate respect? Give some examples of respect in a relationship

    What Makes Respect Most Important In A Relationship

    Every new relationship should begin with a conversation about each partner’s expectations and by discussing some respectful behaviors in a constructive manner. In this way, you can set the relationship up for success. And what does it say about someone’s relationship when you see mutual respect between the partners? Here’s what it indicates:

    • The existence of two respectful partners in a relationship implies a deep sense of love
    • When both individuals feel respected, it means they accept their partner for who they are, flaws and all 
    • Respectful behavior indicates an already established level of patience and honest communication
    • A relationship showing respect will entail trust and self-expression
    • There is no room for ego when your partner’s achievements are as important as your own

    Related Reading: 24 Inspiring Respect Quotes to Make Your Motto

    Benefits of respecting your partner

    Having a solid foundation of respectful behavior can change your interactions and provide a deeper connection with a partner. Once the foundations of a respectful relationship are laid, several benefits emerge as a result. Following are some advantages of having respect in a relationship: 

    • Loyalty: Respect for your partner usually encourages fidelity and long-term commitment
    • Sexual intimacy: A happy relationship based on mutual respect can only improve your sex life
    • Individual growth: When you maintain respect for your partner, you tend to encourage their goals and create a supportive environment within which you both can flourish
    • Boundaries and conflict resolution: A strong partnership results in mutual understanding of each other’s boundaries. A deeper connection due to honest and open communication helps you see each other’s perspectives. Respecting boundaries in a relationship also allows for healthy arguing styles and conflict resolution
    • Better mental health: Increase in happiness and self-esteem leads to overall well-being of both individuals 
    • Teamwork: By moving the focus from your own needs to the needs of your partner and the relationship as a whole, you end up making better choices together
    • Self-expression: A relationship based on mutual respect enhances trust and creates a safe space for all feelings and self-expression
    • Self-care: It helps you feel valued, encouraging you to take care of yourself. When you practice self-care, you invest in yourself and your romantic relationship as well

    And the cherry on top of the veritable cake is that a recent study concluded that respect in a relationship leads to a higher chance of longevity and commitment too. 

    How To Show Your Partner Respect

    Before we get into the hows and whys of showing respect, let’s be clear: Being respectful does not mean being a pushover. When you show respect for someone you love, you can still retain your own identity. You can still maintain your personal boundaries, be assertive, and be in a loving and strong partnership. By being sensitive to your partner’s feelings and your own, you build a healthy relationship that can go far. 

    Here are 9 simple ways to show your partner respect in day-to-day life: 

    Infographic on how to show your partner respect
    Different ways of showing respect to your partner

    1. Listen and learn

    Priyanka Chopra said before she married Nick Jonas, “Truly, this is what worked for me; he has to be someone who respects you … Then everything is so easy because you give each other credit for your intelligence; you give each other the benefit of the doubt because you trust each other.”

    Some respectful behaviors in any healthy, strong bond between couples: 

    • It’s a sign of maturity and growth when you can converse with your partner who isn’t steeped in judgment
    • You are open to each other’s perspectives and ready to listen without jumping to defend your position or arguing mindlessly
    • When you are ready to listen to what another person has to say, you can validate your own feelings without excessive control
    • You appreciate what your partner brings to the table and you make them feel heard. This adds appreciation and effort to any relationship

    Related Reading: The 7 Fundamentals Of Support In A Relationship

    2. Respect in a relationship means checking in on your feelings and your partner’s 

    Life moves fast. Those early, heady days of a romantic relationship can all too easily get stuck in a rut of chores and monotony. But it’s important to set aside time to check in on your feelings and your partner’s efforts. Ask yourself the following things:

    • Are you and your partner respecting boundaries in a relationship?
    • Are you respecting time in the relationship that you both get to spend with each other?
    • Are you being proactive and doing the little things that make them happy?
    • Are you making an effort to appreciate your partner’s achievements?

    These things may not seem like much, but they add up and create a supportive environment and a respectful relationship. In a study on the common reasons for feeling disconnected in marriages, the researchers note, “Marriage requires consistent, clear communication about all aspects of life. Making some decisions without discussion or one-sided, secretive, hidden habits can diminish trust, connection, and closeness.” 

    3. Learning to communicate effectively shows respect for someone you love

    Honest communication that’s not framed as an attack – That’s the dream, right? Communicating effectively and respectfully can look like this: 

    • Show up, whenever you can, when your partner asks for something 
    • Forgive easily, and take accountability for your own actions 
    • Show gratitude for your partner through words and actions 
    • Be playful and teasing, but do not stray into abusive behavior and excessive criticism
    • Paying attention to your partner’s strengths is important  
    • Never violate confidentiality and trust 
    • Replace sarcasm with positive language. Remove all forms of contempt in your behavior 
    • Support their choices. Be encouraging even through their mistakes 
    • Make room for your partner’s unique way of tackling life 
    • Declare your respect for each other in front of others 

    Related Reading: 21 Signs Of Lack Of Respect In A Relationship

    4. Put each other first 

    When you put your relationship at the top of your list, you demonstrate respect for your partner. Prioritizing each other is a simple way to show that the other person matters. That their well-being is important to you. And that you will be present and accounted for when needed. It is a human desire to be wanted and appreciated. When you show your significant other that they are the most important thing in your life, you provide a sense of security to them, and the bond is reinforced. 

    Another way of looking at this is to give each other the space to choose. In a Reddit thread about day-to-day concrete ways to show respect to your husband, a Reddit user said that one way of doing so is to respect his schedule and timing. This works both ways, regardless of gender. One needs to accept other commitments in each other’s lives but still understand that through it all, the other person comes first. 

    Relationship adviceRelationship advice

    5. One of the key examples of respect in a relationship: Always maintain boundaries

    Respecting these boundaries is a way of communicating that you value each other and that the space you have created as a couple is safe. It means listening to what is and is not acceptable by your partner and honoring these wishes. If you value another person and want to remain in their life, you must get into the habit of respecting each other’s boundaries. Their self-expression and confidence can develop and flourish as a result.

    Here are some scenarios where boundaries are respected:

    • Being specific about the time and date you’ll meet your partner. This shows respect for them as it’s in alignment with what they told you earlier, which is – They are not okay with vague plans
    • A boundary can mean not raising your voice when you argue because your partner expressed to you beforehand that they will not accept loud voices during conversations
    • Needing quiet time after a long day of work and asking for space is a valid boundary to have. If your partner lets you be and then interacts with you or tells you about an issue only ‘after’ your me-time is over, it shows how much they respect you
    • Same with needing time before you get intimate with your partner and them not making you feel about it. Rather, they encourage you to be completely present during sex by taking the time you need

    6. Give them the space they require

    In a Quora thread on how to show respect to someone you love, this point was reiterated often. Contributor Cassie explains that you can do this “by having their back but also trusting them to do fine on their own.” Let your partner forge their own path. Other examples of a respectful relationship that honors space:

    • Giving each other the freedom in the relationship to make individual choices 
    • Allowing for the autonomy of personal likes and dislikes 
    • Making decisions based on your own judgment
    • Trusting each other to be present and invested in the relationship but not by overcrowding
    • Not trying to control each other through abusive patterns or disrespectful behavior

    Related Reading: 8 Ways To Fight Respectfully With Your Spouse

    7. Express commitment to one another as the ultimate show of mutual respect

    If you are invested in a romantic relationship and want to demonstrate that you value what you both have, there is no better way to communicate respect than to be faithful and committed. And while this may take effort on both parts, it shows a focus and dedication to the partnership that cannot be taken for granted. When you respect your partner, you also decide to be open about your relationship with your loved ones.

    Being committed also implies a sense of vulnerability and creating a supportive environment for your loved one. When you expose your true, authentic self to another and promise to stick with each other through “sick and sin,” there’s a sense of courage and determination that is deeply comforting. 

    respect for someone you loverespect for someone you love
    Keeping the commitments you have made to one another is one of the best ways of showing respect

    8. Take responsibility for your own role in the relationship 

    Being in a long-term, committed relationship is never a smooth ride. Even the happiest of couples stumble. We all make mistakes and poor choices. There will be mood swings and angry words. Boundaries may be crossed, and there may be (unintentional) disrespectful behaviors. However, treating these as the end of your relationship is unnecessary. 

    Instead, take the opportunity to apologize (and mean it). If you are honest with yourself, you will make sure you take responsibility for your actions and take the necessary steps toward remedying the situation. It takes maturity and respect to do this and to still show up for your partner with love. 

    Related Reading: 35 Serious Relationship Questions To Know Where You Stand

    9. Make time to celebrate

    Respect and love in a relationship include getting through the times with dignity and grace and celebrating the high points by spending time together. Happy relationships revel in the other’s accomplishments. The results of a study concur that emotions such as elevation, gratitude, and admiration motivate self-improvement and better relationships. When you express admiration for goals reached or hard work completed, you tell your partner that you know what they are going through and acknowledge their strength and perseverance. Taking the time to celebrate even the smallest of milestones is a great way to show your partner the respect they deserve. 

    Key Pointers

    • Respect in a relationship is essential for its success and longevity
    • When you learn to respect yourself, it becomes easier to demand respect from others
    • Respectful behaviors include active listening, honest communication, and prioritizing your partner
    • Unhealthy relationships without respect can veer toward abusive behaviors and infidelity if not checked and addressed at the earliest
    • If you are stuck in a disrespectful relationship or an abusive one, please contact a clinical social worker or a mental health practitioner to work out the best coping strategies for your situation

    These nine guidelines are just that  — Guidelines. Treat them as a framework to add your experiences and ideas. Look into your own life and your relationship and dig deep. Ask yourself the tough questions needed to move on to the next step, and give yourself a healthy dose of grace while doing so. After all, nothing is more appealing than two partners working toward a goal together, right? 

    If a safe, healthy, secure relationship is what you aspire to, there is no escaping the need for respect. As we have discussed, it is as important to love and respect yourself as it is to treat others with grace. Keep your head held high, your boundaries firmly in place, and a hefty dose of self-love and appreciation for all that you do. The rest will follow.

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  • 11 Prominent Male Narcissist Traits to Watch For

    11 Prominent Male Narcissist Traits to Watch For

    A friend recently asked me if I thought her toxic ex had male narcissist traits. I told her that being narcissistic is different from being diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and there’s no way to know unless he gets a diagnosis through mental health professionals or a licensed therapist. But she was insistent.

    She said she knew all his traits after a 5-year-long relationship. All she needed was someone to dig up some facts with her. So, here I am, with my new-found knowledge. As we know, narcissism is a personality trait that can be found in both men and women. But it often manifests differently across genders. As we discuss these personality traits ahead, remember that in men, they often form with distinct passive-aggressive behavior patterns.

    Understanding these aspects of male and female narcissists is crucial not only for identifying potential narcissistic women and men in your life, but also for protecting yourself from emotional harm by creating boundaries. In this article, relationship coach Dhriti Bhavsar (MSc, Clinical Psychology), who specializes in LGBTQ and marital issues, addresses the traits of male narcissists and their subtle harmful tendencies. With her help, we will shed light on the specific attitudes of male narcissists that people around them (like my friend) have to deal with. 

    What Is A Narcissistic Man?

    In The Good Men Project article, titled ‘Confessions of a Recovering Narcissist—Or How I Learned to Be Unselfish,’ Lion Goodman wrote, “Relationships fail when partners focus too much on getting their own needs met, and not enough on the needs of the other. This results in arguments over whose needs are most important – which is almost always damaging.”

    Well said. A narcissistic man demonstrates a pervasive and often problematic pattern of personality disorder characterized by a pronounced focus on his own needs, desires, and self-image. This focus is so intense that it can lead to a lack of consideration for other people’s feelings. While it’s essential to distinguish among mental disorders, narcissistic traits, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (which is a diagnosable mental health condition), a narcissistic man typically exhibits a self-centered approach to life.

    Dealing with male narcissists can be challenging, especially if they have NPD. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, “There are no FDA-approved medications for the treatment of NPD, but many patients may benefit from the treatment of symptoms, including anxiety, depression, mood lability, transient psychosis, and impulse control issues.” Addressing the problem is the first step, though. Keep reading to know more about narcissist traits in males.

    11 Common Male Narcissist Traits In Relationships 

    Narcissistic traits in men can show up distinctly within the context of relationships, causing unique challenges for their partners. While not all men who exhibit these traits have Narcissistic Personality Disorder NPD, or antisocial personality disorder, or any kind of mental disorders, recognizing their narcissistic approach and common behaviors is crucial for those in relationships with them. 

    In the following sections, we will watch out for prominent traits of male narcissists, shedding light on their haughty behaviors that can help you navigate their narcissistic tendencies. Remember that while recognizing these traits is essential, diagnosing someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder should be left to mental health professionals or a licensed therapist.

    Here are 11 prominent male narcissist traits in romantic relationships, explained in detail:

    Related Reading: 21 Stages Of A Narcissistic Relationship With An Empath

    1. They have an excessive need for attention in relationships

    This is one of the overt narcissist traits males show with their partners. While some level of self-focus and a desire for recognition are normal, narcissistic behavior becomes problematic when it disrupts an individual’s life and the lives of those around them. Here are some common traits:

    • Their excessive attention-seeking behavior can lead to a highly demanding and one-sided dynamic. They want excessive admiration and need you to constantly talk about them
    • The partner of a male narcissist may find themselves constantly needing to reassure and compliment the narcissist
    • This can be emotionally exhausting as your own needs for affirmation and support often take a back seat

    2. They will manipulate you emotionally

    Male narcissists use emotional manipulation tactics, such as guilt-tripping which can make the partner feel responsible for the narcissist’s happiness, even when it’s unreasonable. Gaslighting, a very common form of narcissistic abuse, can lead to confusion and self-doubt. Emotional detachment phases and other manipulative tactics can create a toxic atmosphere where the partner feels trapped in the relationship.

    Dhriti says, “In relationships, narcissistic men often:

    • Play the victim card to avoid accountability
    • Engage in gaslighting to make you doubt your own reality
    • Use love bombing and ghosting to keep you on an emotional rollercoaster
    • Can be vengeful and hold onto grudges.”
    Infographic on male narcissist traits
    This is how a male narcissist behaves like

    3. A common trait among male narcissists: They struggle to show empathy to their partner

    Are you dating a narcissist? Lack of empathy is one of the major narcissist traits in males, as you must know already. And because they lack empathy, it makes it challenging for them to connect with you on a deep, emotional level. The self-importance preoccupation of male narcissists makes it difficult for them to be genuine. Here’s how your intimate bond is affected:

    • Your emotions and experiences are often invalidated and dismissed
    • This can leave you feeling unseen, unheard, and unimportant
    • Over time, this lack of empathy erodes the emotional connection in the relationship

    Related Reading: Empath Vs Narcissist – The Toxic Relationship Between An Empath And A Narcissist

    4. They won’t think twice before exploiting you

    Narcissists tend to prioritize their own interests and self-care above all else. This pursuit of attention and affirmation can lead them to engage in behavior that manipulates or exploits those around them. This exploitation can take form in various ways:

    • Self-obsessed men may take advantage of your financial resources
    • They may use your social connections for their own agenda
    • They may rely on you for emotional support constantly without giving anything in return

    This leaves you feeling used and unappreciated, which can damage your self-esteem and overall well-being.

    5. Narcissistic men only care about their self-image and needs, even at the cost of yours

    Male narcissists have a grandiose sense of their life; they can even create unrealistic expectations for their partner. Here’s what it looks like:

    • They may expect you to cater to their every need, disregarding your own desires and boundaries
    • This inflated sense of self can strain the romantic relationship, as it becomes one-sided
    • You will never find them being self-deprecating about themselves

    Dhriti says, “Such men exhibit the same behavior and entitlement everywhere, including romantic relationships. They do this through sexual demands, financial control, and monopolizing their partner’s time and attention. These actions erode boundaries, stripping partners of their agency and leaving them feeling suffocated.”

    6. They’re always playing the blame game in a relationship

    This is one of the most overt narcissist traits males show. A man like this takes advantage of the situation at hand and deflects blame and responsibility, hence conflicts often remain unresolved. You may feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells. You fear any discussion that might lead to the blame being shifted on you. This avoidance of accountability by male narcissists can lead to an unhealthy and frustrating communication pattern between the couple.

    7. The partnership can’t be equal as narcissistic males are always on a power trip

    Male and female narcissists often view themselves as exceptional or unique, with an overarching belief in their superiority. Maintaining this inflated sense of control and dominance often results in imbalanced power dynamics within the relationship. Male narcissists may maintain power by:

    • Limiting your independence
    • Making decisions unilaterally
    • Undermining your self-esteem. This control can make you feel helpless and dependent on them

    8. Male narcissists feel attacked a lot because of lack of self-esteem  

    The signs of low self-esteem hidden beneath the grandiose narcissism makes it difficult for such men to handle criticism or perceived threats to their self-worth. This emotional volatility can lead to a thick atmosphere of tension for you, as you fear triggering a defensive or angry response even in random conversations.

    Dhriti explains, “Narcissist behavior in men is displayed by a fragile self-esteem that tends to be emotionally reactive, making you walk on eggshells. They retaliate fiercely to criticism, viewing it as a deep insult to their core. Their confidence masks a fragile ego, which leads to defensive behavior and an inability to handle jokes or critiques gracefully.”

    Related Reading: A Rundown On What A Narcissist Does At The End Of A Relationship

    9. They shuffle between idealizing and devaluing you

    The cycle of idealization and devaluation can be emotionally confusing for partners. In the initial stages of the relationship, you may be showered with excessive admiration, affection, and praise, but as the relationship progresses, you might suddenly be devalued and criticized. This inconsistency by male narcissists can cause emotional turmoil.

    Dhriti says, “Narcissists create a rollercoaster of emotions by initially making partners feel cherished and valued, only to withdraw affection later. This hooks the partners emotionally, making them crave the lost validation. This cycle taps into our brain’s reward system, similar to substance addiction, leaving you grappling with withdrawal-like emotions when the narcissistic love bombing ends.”

    10. One of the most covert narcissist traits in males — They’re envious of you

    The competitiveness and envy of a narcissistic person can lead to a hostile and unsupportive environment for their partner. Instead of celebrating your achievements, they may belittle or downplay them, making it challenging for you to thrive or feel secure in your accomplishments. You might eventually stop sharing what brings you joy and pride.

    More on emotional abuseMore on emotional abuse

    11. They can’t hold down the relationship with you for long

    Due to their passive-aggressive behavior and possibly some personality disorders, maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship can be exceptionally challenging. There are repeated relationship formation attempts and failures. This turmoil can leave you emotionally drained, struggling to find stability and happiness in a relationship with a narcissistic man. It often takes therapy or a significant personal transformation for male narcissists to build and maintain lasting, healthy relationships.

    Characteristics Of A Narcissist Man

    Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a complex and often challenging mental health condition characterized by a pervasive pattern of behaviors, thoughts, and emotions. When examining the characteristics of male narcissists, it’s essential to understand that not all individuals with narcissistic traits meet the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder NPD. However, certain traits are commonly associated with such men and can significantly impact their romantic relationships and interactions. Here are some key traits:

    Related Reading: 30 Manipulative Things Narcissists Say In An Argument And What They Actually Mean

    1. One of the major characteristics of a narcissist man is grandiosity

    Narcissistic men often have an over-inflated sense of self-importance. According to a study on NPD, “Often, persons with grandiose narcissism can present with heightened mood and more energy when excited by a new idea, which may initially point to a hypomanic/manic presentation.”

    Narcissistic Personality Disorder NPD is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. This inflated sense of self can result in haughty behaviors such as bragging about achievements and expecting constant admiration.

    2. Need for admiration

    Narcissistic men tend to have a constant need for admiration and validation. This is because male narcissists seek praise and recognition from others to bolster their fragile self-esteem. This need for admiration can drive them to engage in attention-seeking behaviors, like stealing the spotlight from those around them.

    Dhriti adds, “Narcissist behavior in men is indicated by craving the spotlight, often overshadowing your achievements by making it about them. To them, people are possessions and they use your success to boost their image. If you are living with a narcissist husband or boyfriend then you must already know how this self-centered behavior, combined with histrionic tendencies, leaves people feeling unimportant, overshadowed, and pressured to constantly please the narcissist.”

    3. Lack of empathy

    Male narcissists tend to lack empathy. They may struggle to recognize people’s feelings, and it’s hard for them to care about the emotions and needs of others. Their lack of genuine empathy can result in a depleting emotional connection and understanding in their relationships.

    4. Male narcissists tend to have manipulative behavior

    They are skilled manipulators. They may use love bombing, silent treatment, flattery, or manipulation to achieve their goals or to control and exploit others. This manipulation can take on various forms, such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting (making someone doubt their perceptions or feelings), or employing emotional manipulation tactics to get what they want.

    5. Sense of entitlement

    Male narcissists tend to demand privileges, regardless of their actual accomplishments. Entitlement is one of the most common characteristics of a narcissist man. After all, narcissists tend to believe they are exceptional, unique, and entitled to special treatment and recognition. When others don’t meet their expectations or cater to their desires, they may become resentful or angry, viewing any perceived slights as personal affronts.

    6. Difficulty in maintaining relationships

    Narcissistic behavior can strain relationships. Their self-centeredness, need for constant validation, and lack of compassion are some of the reasons why narcissists can’t sustain long-term, intimate relationships. Narcissists are generally unhappy in their personal relationships. Partners and friends may find it exhausting to continually meet the narcissist’s demands for praise.

    7. A fragile self-esteem is among the common traits of narcissistic men

    Dhriti adds another aspect, “Dealing with a narcissistic partner can shatter your self-esteem and confidence too, making you reliant on their validation. Your emotional boundaries blur, tying your well-being to their approval, similar to living in a world where Barbie has a good day every day, while Ken only does when Barbie looks at him.”

    Some common traits of a male narcissist include lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. Paradoxically, that’s what lies beneath their inflated sense of grandiosity. They are hypersensitive to criticism and often react with rage or defensiveness when their self-worth is challenged. This can create a volatile atmosphere in their relationships.

    8. Exploitative behavior

    They exploit others for personal gain, whether in the workplace, friendships, or romantic relationships. They may showcase their narcissistic behavior subtly and use people as a means to an end, without genuine concern for their limitations. The same behavior can result in emotional abuse, harming the trust and well-being of those around them.

    Dhriti adds, “Narcissistic men often employ a charming facade to butter up those who can assist them, making you feel like their closest ally and inspiring you to help them willingly. They may also resort to using blackmail when it serves their personal interests.”

    Related Reading: How To Make A Narcissist Miserable — 13 Things To Do

    9. Fantasies of power

    Some covert narcissist traits males have include fantasies of power. Narcissists tend to harbor grandiose fantasies about achieving power, unlimited success, or physical appearance beyond what is realistic. These narcissistic behaviors can drive their relentless pursuit of admiration, recognition, and validation. They see themselves as high-status people in every way. 

    10. Arrogance is commonly found in self-obsessed men

    Arrogance and a sense of superiority are common traits in a male narcissist. Narcissists tend to have a distorted sense of self-importance, so they demean or belittle their partners and other people as well to bolster their own ego, viewing themselves as better or more important. This arrogance can create a hostile and unpleasant atmosphere in their personal dynamics.

    Dhriti suggests, “Handling a narcissistic partner calls for a strategic approach.” Here are some tips from our expert:

    • Start by crafting a solid exit plan
    • Deprive them of emotional reactions, and you’ve taken away their power
    • Maintaining emotional distance in every way is key
    • Remember, the best defense is limited contact — Preserve your peace by minimizing interactions
    narcissist behavior in mennarcissist behavior in men
    Arrogance and self-obsession are common narcissistic behaviors in men

    11. Difficulty handling criticism

    A male narcissist typically has a poor tolerance for even the slightest criticism they receive, even when it is constructive. They may showcase narcissistic behavior by reacting with anger, defensiveness, or hostility when their actions or abilities are questioned. This difficulty in receiving feedback can hinder personal growth and the resolution of conflicts.

    12. Devaluation of others

    This is one of the most common traits of narcissistic individuals. Their sense of self-importance cannot not be touched but they can freely play with the emotions of others. Male narcissists tend to initially idealize someone, placing them on a pedestal, but later devalue them when their perceived flaws become apparent. This pattern can be emotionally exhausting for those in their orbit, as they never know when they will be praised or criticized.

    Related Reading: No Contact With A Narcissist – 7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

    13. Competitiveness and envy are male narcissistic tendencies too

    Competitiveness is one of the major signs of a narcissist man. They may engage in unhealthy competition with others and express envy when others achieve unlimited success or recognition. They may perceive any accomplishment by others as a threat to their own self-esteem, making it challenging for others to enjoy their achievements without facing resentment or competitiveness.

    Key Pointers

    • A narcissistic man is someone who is preoccupied with his own needs, desires, and self-image, unaware of others’ feelings and well-being. These traits of self-centeredness frequently lead to a lack of empathy
    • Signs of a narcissist man include an excessive need for attention, exaggerated sense of self-importance, exploitative behavior, and difficulty maintaining long-term relationships
    • Narcissistic men typically exhibit traits such as grandiosity and a fragile self-esteem, at the same time
    • Because of their self-centeredness and emotional manipulation, relationships with narcissistic men can be difficult. Partners are frequently trapped in one-sided dynamics, leaving them emotionally drained, harmed, and invalidated
    • It’s important to note that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and not every individual displaying narcissistic tendencies will have Narcissistic Personality Disorder

    Understanding the nature of narcissism is the first step in effectively managing these relationships, whether through setting emotional boundaries, seeking therapy, or making informed decisions about how to engage with such individuals while safeguarding your own emotional well-being. Recognizing these characteristics in a male narcissist, such as an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of concern, can be a valuable tool in protecting oneself from emotional manipulation. 

    It is critical to remember that narcissism is a spectrum disorder, and not all people who exhibit these traits have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Addressing the narcissism of a partner can help encourage personal growth and change, especially in those who are unaware of the impact their behavior has on others. 

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  • The Pitfalls Of Nice Guy Syndrome: How It Affects Relationships

    The Pitfalls Of Nice Guy Syndrome: How It Affects Relationships

    Have you ever found yourself bending over backward to please others, only to feel like you’re constantly stuck in the friend zone? Do you ever wonder why being the ‘nice guy’ doesn’t always lead to the happy, fulfilling relationships you’ve been dreaming of? I know how it feels. You’re not alone in this often bewildering world of the Nice Guy Syndrome.

    Just a few things I used to wonder about: Do nice guys finish the last in relationships? Why does being kind, considerate, and respectful sometimes seem to backfire when it comes to dating and personal relationships? Will I always be stuck in a cycle of one-sided affection? Why is being a good person not enough to win someone’s heart?

    To help you deal with similar dilemmas and create better intimacies in the future, today, we’ll talk about the common misconceptions and pitfalls associated with the Nice Guy Syndrome.

    What Is The Nice Guy Syndrome?

    What does psychology say about nice guys? A study describes a ‘nice guy’ as a man who exhibits agreeable, compassionate, and sensitive qualities. It signifies someone who prioritizes others, offers support, and behaves considerately. In a relationship, it encompasses honesty, loyalty, courtesy, and respect. Basically, it is used for a genuinely nice person.

    According to another study, the term can be used negatively to label a man as unassertive or unattractive, shedding light on the Nice Guy Paradox. It’s opposite, the ‘jerk’ or the ‘bad boy’ signifies a mean and selfish person, often in contrast with the nice guy stereotype where a person may be perceived as overly accommodating.

    Ironically, ‘nice guy’ is sometimes used sarcastically, particularly in a dating context. It refers to someone who falsely claims to possess these virtues while pursuing romantic or sexual interests under the guise of good friendship. As per an article published in the Berkeley Beacon, the term Nice Guy Syndrome (NGS) is characterized by a man’s unfounded expectation of romantic attention solely for being ‘nice,’ accompanied by irrational frustration when it’s not reciprocated.

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    What Leads To The Nice Guy Syndrome?

    I have been the Nice Guy. Each time I was walked over for guys that were jerks, I felt like my niceness was overlooked. I blamed my partners for this and gave in to the general perception of ‘nice guys finish last.’ I fell prey to this pattern in three of my situationships before I realized that I was missing something.

    Have you, too, ever wondered why some people end up being perpetually ‘friend zoned’ despite their genuine kindness and caring nature? Many of us have heard the saying — ‘nice guys finish last,’ but in reality, do nice guys finish the last in relationships? Is NGS simply about being excessively nice, or is there a more complex dynamic at play? What does psychology say about nice guys? And could the experiences and influences of our formative years have a significant impact on the development of NGS?

    Related Reading: Why Do Breakups Hit Guys Later? 7 Intriguing Reasons

    Let’s unravel this perplexing conundrum and dig into the psychological underpinnings of the Nice Guy Syndrome. Here are some key factors that lead to this pattern of behavior.

    1. Approval-seeking upbringing

    Individuals exhibiting NGS tendencies often grew up in environments where seeking approval and validation were paramount. Unfulfilled desires for acceptance and fear of rejection at a young age can persist into adulthood, driving them to employ excessive niceness as a means to gain approval from potential partners. This constant need for external validation may overshadow their ability to express their genuine selves in relationships.

    2. Covert expectations can lead to the formation of NGS

    NGS frequently involves what Dr. Robert Glover terms ‘covert contracts’ in his famous book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. This is when ‘nice guys’ perform kind acts with underlying beliefs that their generosity will be reciprocated with love or your partner’s attention. When these hidden expectations aren’t met, it can lead to them feeling resentful, frustrated, and confused. The subtlety of these expectations can make it challenging for both, the individual with NGS and their potential partner, to navigate.

    3. Lack of self-worth

    Some individuals with NGS tendencies may grapple with low self-esteem issues. They believe that being nice is the only way to secure affection or attention, as they may doubt their intrinsic value. This lack of self-confidence can lead to a cycle where they continually seek love through acts of kindness, hoping to fill the void of self-worth.

    4. Fear of rejection

    The fear of rejection can be a potent force driving most nice guys to tread cautiously in relationships. They might avoid expressing their true feelings, fearing that it could jeopardize the friendship they’ve worked hard to establish. This fear often prevents them from being open and authentic in their interactions, hindering the development of deeper connections.

    5. Lack of healthy role models

    Growing up without positive relationship role models can contribute to NGS. When someone hasn’t had the chance to observe healthy, balanced dynamics in their parents or caregivers – where both partners communicate openly, respect each other’s boundaries, and maintain a mutual sense of equality – it can make it challenging for them to understand how to navigate relationships in a way that is mutually fulfilling and respectful.

    In the absence of these models, they may default to what they perceive as ‘nice’ behaviors, hoping it will lead to successful relationships. But often, it falls short of their expectations due to the lack of these foundational aspects in their learned relationship patterns.

    Related Reading: 15 Signs You Are Dating An Attention-Seeker – She Is Not Into You

    6. Societal expectations are often a reason behind the Nice Guy Syndrome

    Society frequently reinforces the notion that ‘nice guys’ make ideal partners and ideal relationships, often portraying them as sensitive, caring, and understanding. However, the pressure to fit into this mold can intensify NGS tendencies. Some individuals might go to great lengths to fulfill these societal expectations, emphasizing their niceness even if it’s not aligned with their genuine personality. This discrepancy between the authentic self and the role they feel compelled to play can create internal conflicts and hinder their ability to form authentic connections.

    These are just a few of the factors contributing to this syndrome, shedding light on why some people fall into this pattern and why their well-intentioned acts don’t always lead to the desired romantic outcomes. Now, let’s dive deeper into the intriguing signs of Nice Guy Syndrome.

    infographic on the signs of the nice guy syndrome
    Signs of the Nice Guy Syndrome

    What Are The Signs Of Nice Guy Syndrome?

    Recognizing real-life Nice Guy Syndrome examples is like uncovering a hidden map to a healthier, more fulfilling life in relationships. Whether you’re evaluating your own behavior or that of a partner, being aware of the things nice guys do can make a world of difference. Why? Because NGS can be a silent relationship killer, causing confusion, resentment, and unmet expectations. By understanding these signs, you take the first step to empower yourself. You can break free from the cycle and foster genuine, balanced connections.

    Related Reading: How To Find The One: 13 Tried and Tested Tips

    1. Excessive people-pleasing is a common habit among Nice Guys

    Nice Guys have a tendency to go above and beyond to please others, often to the detriment of their own needs and desires. They might say yes to favors, commitments, or even relationship compromises, even when it’s not what they truly want. Among the things nice guys do, this is the most common sign.

    This behavior stems from a fear of rejection or disapproval, as they believe that saying no might jeopardize their likability. Consequently, their true selves can get lost in the process, leading to a lack of authenticity in their interactions and relationships.

    Example: The Nice Guy will always agree to dinner at their partner’s favorite restaurant, even if they dislike the cuisine. They’d even pretend to love the food and ambiance.

    2. They avoid conflicts as much as they can

    Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but these good guys often go out of their way to avoid conflicts. And if they find themselves in one, they won’t stop apologizing. They fear that addressing issues might disrupt the peace or lead to rejection, so they choose to keep their concerns to themselves. They basically resort to avoidance as their conflict resolution strategy.

    Example: I was watching a movie with this girl I liked and the movie was her suggestion. I found it so boring that I dozed off. When she finally woke me up and I realized what had transpired, I apologized like I had committed a crime.

    This conflict avoidance can lead to:

    • Unresolved tensions
    • Unspoken grievances
    • Emotional distance between them and their partners

    3. Expecting something in return is one of the things nice guys do

    Many of us have been raised with the belief that being kind, considerate, and accommodating should be the surefire path to love and happiness. However, in my experience with the Nice Guy Paradox, it’s a far more complex reality.

    One of the defining features of NGS is the presence of covert expectations. Nice Guys often perform acts of kindness with the unspoken belief that their generosity will be reciprocated with love, attention, or favors. When these expectations aren’t met, they may feel resentful or unappreciated, not realizing that their needs were not transparent from the outset. On the other hand, there are men who ‘think’ they are nice and expect sexual intimacy from a date or partner because “I’m a nice guy.”

    Example: This one encounter with this girl I liked changed my perspective. While I was complaining about her not acknowledging my value and efforts, she simply asked me this, “Do you do all these nice things for me so I reciprocate your feelings, or do you genuinely care for me?” Well, I urge you to ask yourself the same question.

    things nice guysthings nice guys
    Societal expectations are often a reason behind the Nice Guy Syndrome

    4. They have difficulty expressing true feelings

    Nice Guys frequently find it challenging to express their genuine thoughts and emotions, especially when those feelings might be perceived as less than agreeable. They fear that revealing their true selves or stating their needs may jeopardize their relationships or make them appear less ‘nice.’ Even when they do talk about their expectations or feelings, they avoid the whole truth.

    Example: A man, in the middle of a deadline, might take the support of half-truths when a woman he likes calls him. He might say: “No, no, I am not busy at all.” “I’m listening, I’m not distracted.” This lack of open communication prevents them from forming honest connections.

    Related Reading: 15 Ways To Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up

    5. Nice guys have a martyr complex

    Some Nice Guys tend to cast themselves in the role of the perpetual victim or martyr. They willingly sacrifice their own happiness or well-being for the sake of others, often without being asked. While their intentions may seem noble, this behavior can result in feelings of frustration, unfulfillment, and the perception that their efforts are not adequately recognized or reciprocated.

    Example: You invite a man to a party, but unfortunately the party gets canceled. He gets mad at you saying he had cancelled other plans for you. What would you say? Something along the lines of “I didn’t know you did, and I never asked you to,” right?

    6. Nice Guys often display passive-aggressive behavior

    Instead of addressing their grievances directly, Nice Guys may resort to subtle acts of passive aggression. They might employ sarcasm, give backhanded compliments, or engage in indirect communication to express their frustrations. This indirect approach to conflict resolution can be confusing and damaging to relationships, regardless of who does it – the guy or the girl in the relationship.

    Example: About a year ago, my friend was upset with his colleague. One morning, her car broke down and she texted him (my friend) that she’ll be late. The next thing she knew, he had driven all the way across town to pick her up. How romantic, right? The drive to work, though, was quite unromantic as he didn’t say a word just to show her that he’s upset.

    7. Lack of assertiveness is a sign of Nice Guy Syndrome

    Nice Guys often struggle with assertiveness when it comes to expressing their needs, desires, or boundaries. They may avoid stating their preferences to avoid confrontation or upsetting their partners. This lack of assertiveness can result in unmet expectations and unfulfilling relationships, as their needs often go unaddressed. It’s hard for their partners or dates to take them seriously when they seem to go along with everything.

    Think about it, if you don’t have preferences about where to hang out and you’d go anywhere your friends go, will they value your opinion? You’ll have to have an opinion for it to be valued, right?

    more on dating problemsmore on dating problems

    How The Nice Guy Syndrome Affects Your Relationships

    Now that we’ve explored Nice Guy Syndrome examples, it’s time to uncover the profound ways in which this behavioral pattern can shape, and often misshape, your romantic relationships. It’s the key to unlocking more fulfilling, authentic, and balanced partnerships.

    • Unfulfilled expectations lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment
    • Lack of honest communication and expression prevents partners from truly knowing each other
    • Niceness could be seen by the man’s partner as manipulation when it becomes clear the man was being nice in order to get something out of them
    • A fear of conflict results in unresolved issues, leading to emotional distance and resentment between partners
    • Such behavior pattern creates imbalances in relationships, with one partner consistently sacrificing their own happiness for the other’s, leading to feelings of frustration and inequality
    • Difficulty in assertively expressing needs or boundaries results in poor communication, causing misunderstandings and misaligned expectations
    • NGS often inhibits the development of emotional intimacy, as partners may not feel comfortable or safe expressing their vulnerabilities and needs

    Related Reading: 8 Signs You Have A Controlling And Manipulative Husband

    How To Overcome The Nice Guy Syndrome?

    Overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome (NGS) requires you to break free from a cycle that holds you back in your relationships. Finding healthy ways to do it is important because it can help you build more real and happier connections. In this section, we’ll look at why it’s vital to break this pattern and learn some practical steps to do it. By taking this journey to better understand yourself and grow as a person, you can change how you approach relationships, making them more honest and respectful.

    • Know yourself: The first step is to recognize and accept if you have NGS traits. Understand why you behave this way
    • Set rules: Learn to say what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not. It’s okay to put your needs first
    • Speak honestly: Practice clear and open communication. Share your feelings without fear
    • Be real: Being open about who you are is a strength. Don’t be afraid to be yourself
    • Take care of yourself: Remember that your happiness is important. Take care of yourself. Prioritize your own happiness and do things you genuinely enjoy more often
    • Get support: It helps to talk to friends, family, or a licensed therapist who can guide and encourage you
    • Change views: Challenge what society tells you about relationships and what it means to be a man

    When you embark on this journey of overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome, bear in mind that you’re not Steve Rogers and there is no potion that can transform you overnight into the first avenger. Reprogramming your childhood conditioning will take a lot of time, energy, self-reflection, self-awareness, and support. So be patient but keep moving.

    Key Pointers

    • Nice Guy Syndrome involves a guy’s covert expectations and a fear of rejection, leading to unmet romantic expectations
    • Difficulty in expressing true feelings and conflict avoidance hinder genuine communication
    • NGS can create an imbalance where one partner becomes a martyr, sacrificing their happiness
    • Breaking free from NGS requires self-awareness, setting boundaries, and embracing vulnerability
    • Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist in your journey to overcome NGS
    • Challenge societal expectations about relationships and masculinity to foster authentic connections

    Let’s look at it this way. In an ideal world, women simply wouldn’t date jerks over a nice guy, right? But attraction is based on a lot of other factors like the woman’s definition of a nice guy and a jerk, physical attractiveness, her preferences for a guy, etc. So, all you can do is work toward becoming your best self and putting that out in the dating world.

    In the end, authenticity, open communication, and a healthy sense of self-worth are the keys to meaningful, balanced, and fulfilling relationships. So, embrace your true self, set boundaries, communicate openly, and offer without expectations. Remember that your happiness matters.

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  • 13 Heartbreaking Signs You Are Wasting Your Time Trying To Get Your Ex Back

    13 Heartbreaking Signs You Are Wasting Your Time Trying To Get Your Ex Back

    Love is never easy. Even more difficult are break ups. They bring in their wake a whirlwind of emotions. When you finally decide to call it off, it leaves you desperate to turn back the clock and rekindle what you once had. Your heart yearns for it even though your mind clearly says no. When you’re wrestling with this dilemma, paying attention to the signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back can give you the final push to move on.

    Yes, it can be hard to let go of someone you love, especially if you believe that the relationship is still worth fighting for. However, when you start seeing the signs you will never get back together with your ex, giving up trying may be your best recourse. While there is no manual that teaches you how to accept your ex is not coming back, paying attention to the signs you’re fighting a losing battle can help you make peace with reality. If you’re wondering what those signs are, read on.   

    When Should You Give Up Trying To Get Your Ex Back? 13 Signs To Watch Out For

    The aftermath of a failed relationship can leave us with a sense of longing and a desire to bring back the good days. As you go through the stages of grief after a breakup, you may find yourself bargaining, trying to get your ex back into life at any cost. The question is how long can you keep at it? And when should you give up trying to get your ex back?

    A good rule of thumb would be when you see that there is no reciprocation from your ex and all your efforts to revive the relationship are one-sided and might be in vain. However difficult it might sound, there couldn’t be a clearer indication that it’s time to face the harsh reality and focus on healing yourself.

    Realize that it is time for personal growth instead of investing more time in lost feelings. But what does this lack of reciprocation look like? To help you understand, let’s dive deeper into signs your ex will never come back and that you need to move on.

    Related Reading: 20 Signs Your Ex Will Never Come Back

    1. Radio silence from your ex

    This is a bad sign that your relationship has ended. It is also a sure indication that your efforts to win back your ex might be futile. This happens when your ex maintains complete radio silence. No amount of persuasion makes your ex respond to your texts, calls, or social media posts and messages.

    This is bound to leave you in a state of uncertainty and emotional distress. The frustration and sadness that come with unanswered calls and messages can take a toll on your emotional well-being. You feel ignored, and the memories of all the good times you spent with your ex leave you feeling empty and drained out.

    However, if you look at the situation objectively, you will realize that this silence is your ex’s way of communicating that they’ve no interest in reconnecting with you after the breakup. Our advice to you in this situation is simple: don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t value you.

    What to do

    Once you spot such signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back, here’s what you can do:

    • Respect their boundaries and give them space if they need it
    • Remember pushing too hard for communication can often backfire
    • Don’t set yourself up for repeated rejections because they can take a huge toll on your self-respect
    • Redirect your energies to healing and moving on

    2. Your ex has clearly moved on

    Another one of the heart-wrenching signs you will never get back together with your ex is that they seem to have moved on with their life without you. They might have taken up new hobbies, made new friends, or even embarked on a new career path.

    Likewise, if your ex does not remember special occasions that you once held dear, or behaves as if they didn’t occur, then you know they have moved on and are happy with you out of the equation.

    Related Reading: Why Trying to Make Your Ex Feel Jealous is TOTALLY Silly!

    What to do

    Realizing that your ex is forging ahead without you can be a blow to your self-esteem and a source of emotional pain. Witnessing them moving on like you didn’t matter at all, can leave you resenting them and thinking, “I hate my ex for wasting my time.” Instead of stewing in this quagmire of emotions, you must,

    • Use this as an opportunity to focus on your enjoying life
    • Work toward personal growth
    • Rediscover your passions and invest in your well-being
    • Connect more strongly with what you do, be it professionally or socially
    If you know for sure your ex is seeing someone else, then what’s the point in pursuing them?

    3. Mutual friends are mum

    After a breakup, your mutual friends can be a source of information about your ex’s feelings or what they’re up to. But when these friends stay quiet or vague about your ex’s situation, it could be one of the signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back. There is a good chance that they are hesitant to tell you about your ex because they know the truth will only hurt you more.

    The lack of information from a mutual friend or friends can leave you feeling isolated and out of the loop. It is as if you feel you are marooned on an island with no source of information or help whatsoever. But hey, maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all. This space and distance may just be what you need to move on.

    Related Reading: 16 Ways To Make Him Regret Not Choosing You

    What to do

    Here’s how you can navigate this situation so that it helps you inch closer to the realization that it’s time to give up trying to get your ex back:

    • Respect your ex’s privacy
    • Avoid putting mutual friends in an awkward position
    • Instead, seek emotional support from friends who are not connected to your ex

    4. They’re in a new relationship

    Learning that your ex has entered a new, committed relationship can be an incredibly painful experience. It indicates that they’ve moved on emotionally and are building a life that doesn’t include you. If you have been looking for signs you should not get back with your ex, them going steady with someone new is as clear as it can get.

    What to do

    When they embrace a new relationship with ease it is one of the signs your ex is happy without you. So go on and be happy yourself. Here’s how:

    • Accept the reality of their new relationship
    • Focus on your healing rather than dwelling on their new partner
    • Although tough, it is important to set aside resentment and feelings like “I hate my ex for wasting my time” and develop acceptance through understanding

    5. The absence of romantic feelings

    When your ex openly acknowledges that they no longer have romantic feelings for you, signs you should not get back with your ex can’t get any clearer. This reality can be exceptionally hard to come to terms with. You are suddenly friend-zoned or non-existent. You fail to understand your ex’s mind and are left confused. Given that you had hopes of rekindling the relationship with your former partner, this can shatter you emotionally.

    What to do

    However, you should accept that you’ve been dealt a particularly tough set of cards and aim to understand, accept, and self-preserve. Here’s how:

    • As difficult as it may be, honor their honesty
    • Realize how harmful it can be to cling to the idea of a relationship that the other person doesn’t want
    • Instead, view your former partner’s honesty about their feelings as a sign for you to embrace reality and move on

    Related Reading: Lack Of Affection And Intimacy In A Relationship — 9 Ways It Affects You

    6. Embracing a toxic relationship

    If upon seeing your eagerness to get back together, your ex begins to string you along but doesn’t fully commit or starts acting hot-and-cold, triggering an on-again-off-again relationship, you need to open your eyes to the signs your ex is taking advantage of you. They may be exploiting your emotional vulnerability to manipulate you into a connection that lacks any real meaning or depth, leaving you feeling ill at ease yet unable to walk away.

    What to do

    This can quickly turn into a toxic relationship that can leave you emotionally drained. Don’t settle for the breadcrumbs of affection from an ex because you’re too scared to let them go or be alone.

    • Recognize the boundaries you need to set
    • You cannot fix your ex’s choices, but you can prioritize your well-being
    • Prioritizing yourself is important at this juncture when you are fresh out of a relationship breakup
    • Remember, you deserve to be with someone who truly wants to be with you

    7. Remaining friends but no reunion

    Your ex’s choice to maintain contact without the intention of rekindling the relationship can create a complex emotional dilemma. It can feel like a glimmer of hope amid the darkness of heartbreak, but it’s important to navigate this situation with a clear understanding.

    How do you know your ex is truly done with you? When should you give up trying to get your ex back? Questions like these can start weighing on your mind when your ex continues to be a part of your life sans the romantic connection. If your ex has been saying things like “Let’s remain friends” or you can’t shake off the “my ex still talks to me but doesn’t want to come back” feeling, the answers become quite evident. These are clear signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back.

    Related Reading: 8 Expert Tips To Let Go Of The Past And Be Happy

    Perhaps, he just needs you as a sounding board and nothing else. It is not a healthy relationship when one person is left yearning for more and receives nothing but disappointment. That’s one of the reasons why being friends with an ex can be tricky.

    What to do

    Remaining friends with an ex when you desire more can be emotionally challenging. Here’s how you can remedy this situation:

    • Set clear boundaries for your friendship
    • Take a step back if remaining friends hinders your ability to move on
    • If you feel it is adding to the stress rather than relieving it, communicate openly and clearly and step out of the friendship.
    On-ex

    8. Lack of personal growth or improvement

    When you notice your ex repeating the same unhealthy patterns, it is one of the clearest signs you should not get back with your ex. A stagnant behavior of this sort might also suggest that your ex is struggling to learn from past relationship experiences and make positive changes in their life.

    If they’ve been promising you that they will turn things around and you’ve been waiting for them to follow through on that promise, it can make you resent them. It brings you to one of those stages in a relationship when you tell yourself, “I hate my ex for wasting my time.”

    What to do

    Witnessing your ex’s lack of growth can be disheartening, especially if you had hoped for a positive change. You feel personally drained trying to encourage and bring out the best in them always, to no avail. This is your cue to walk away and,

    • Focus on your personal growth and self-improvement
    • Spend time to reflect on your past mistakes and learn from them
    • Make a conscious effort to steer clear of being stuck in a situation where you are concentrating on your former partner and not yourself

    Related Reading: 13 Reasons To Never Take Back An Ex Who Dumped You

    9. Trust your gut feeling

    Even if you can’t spot any tell-tale signs you will never get back together with your ex, your gut instincts may be telling you that your strong desire for reconciliation will not come to fruition.

    Trusting your instincts becomes vital in situations like these.

    Perhaps, you’re too blinded by your emotions to see that your ex has no interest in coming back to you. But your intuition has picked up on clear signs of lack of interest from them and is telling you: don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t value you.

    What to do

    Balancing your emotions with that strong gut feeling can be challenging. But you must,

    • Learn to trust your gut feeling
    • Don’t silence that voice of reason in your head. It can guide you toward making the right decisions for your emotional well-being
    • Make a conscious effort to detach yourself from the hope of reviving the relationship

    Related Reading: “He Blocked Me On Everything!” What Does It Mean And What To Do About It

    10. Wasting time on false hope

    Continuously hoping for your ex to come back when there’s little or no indication that they will is one of the most obvious signs you need to refocus and work toward moving on. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t value you. It will only deplete your emotional energy and keep you stuck in an unproductive cycle of longing and wishful thinking.

    What to do

    Clinging to false hope can keep you stuck in an emotional state that is not conducive to your well-being. To break free,

    • Acknowledge you’re giving yourself false hope
    • Actively work on letting go of the hurt
    • Focus on your well-being and future
    • Let go and move on for a more peaceful you

    Related Reading: Should I Call My Ex — 12 Tips To Decide

    11. Feeling lonely and depressed

    Loneliness and depression can be the byproducts of investing too much in rekindling a past relationship. You feel depleted and lack motivation to seek out anything new, professionally or socially. If you have been trying to get your former partner to reconcile only to have been shot down repeatedly and that has taken a toll on your mental health, it’s one of the clearest signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back.  

    What to do

    If efforts to revive a relationship begin to affect your mental health, you must,

    • Prioritize your emotional well-being
    • Seek support from friends and family
    • Seek professional help to address the mental health issues troubling you as well as forge a path forward to finally snap the cord with your ex
    signs you should not get back with your ex
    The process of getting back together with your ex can take a toll on your mental health

    12. Diminishing sense of self

    Pursuing someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings can erode your self-esteem. When repeated attempts at conversation or fresh starts do not elicit any response, it can leave you questioning what is it that you lack or why are you no longer good enough for your former partner.

    These questions can slowly chip away at your self-esteem and sense of self-worth, which can not only keep you stuck in the cycle of pleading for love and affection from your ex but also impact your choices, especially of romantic partners, in the future. The emotional pain and turmoil stemming from a compromised sense of self are among the warning signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back you cannot afford to ignore.

    What to do

    It is time to deal with things squarely. It is not worth waiting for mopping about and feeling sorry for yourself. Instead,

    • Prioritize your self-worth and establish healthy boundaries
    • Remember that your value does not depend on your ex’s actions or feelings
    • Work on rebuilding your self-esteem so that you’re capable of forging healthy relationships in the future

    Related Reading: 19 Examples Of Healthy Boundaries In Relationships

    13. Your loved ones think you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back

    Those who truly know and love us can often offer a far more objective assessment than those who are in the same stir-fry situation as we are. So, if your friends and family have reached a general consensus it’s time for you to move on and have been telling you to stop wasting your time trying to get your ex back, it’s a sign worth paying attention to. Their perspective can provide valuable insights.

    What to do

    Sometimes, loved ones can offer a clearer view of your situation and help you make informed decisions. Getting through a breakup alone is ten times harder than dealing with the pain with a wholesome support system of friends and family.

    • Listen to your loved ones
    • Lean on them for support
    • Enlist their help to chart out a way to move on from your ex

    Key Pointers

    • Breakup blues can leave you yearning for an ex and intent on reviving the relationship
    • However, your ex may not feel the same way
    • Your ex’s lack of reciprocation, radio silence, moving on, and being in a new relationship are some of the signs you are wasting your time trying to rekindle the relationship
    • If all signs point toward their lack of interest in getting back together, it’s best to focus on healing and moving on

    In conclusion, recognizing the signs that you might be wasting your time trying to get your ex-partner back can be painful, but it’s a crucial step toward healing and personal growth. Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on building a better future relationship for yourself, one that may or may not include your ex. Trust in the process of healing, and believe that new opportunities for love and happiness await you.

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  • Why Does My Girlfriend Hit Me? Expert Shares 11 Possible Reasons And Ways To Cope

    Why Does My Girlfriend Hit Me? Expert Shares 11 Possible Reasons And Ways To Cope

    “Why does my girlfriend hit me?” — Men hesitate to confess this personal crisis. A study says, “Domestic violence against men covers a broad range of violent acts such as physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, or financial abuse.” It’s quite underreported due to the myths surrounding male survivors. According to the CDC, 1 in 10 men have experienced some form of intimate partner violence (IPV). The perpetrators could vary across genders.

    Our expert, relationship coach Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couple’s counseling, addresses the issue of domestic abuse, “Physical violence is absolutely wrong. Regardless of gender, education, or socio-economic status, violence must be treated with the same seriousness and outrage.”

    We hope you never reach a stage during the course of your relationship where you find yourself asking, “Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me?” This article will tell you about 11 potential causes for your girlfriend’s violent behavior and offer helpful tips on how to handle this difficult scenario. By doing this, we intend to raise awareness around intimate partner abuse, encourage empathy, and give victims the confidence to get the support they deserve.

    “My Girlfriend Hits Me” — 11 Possible Reasons Why You’re A Victim Of Domestic Violence

    Many domestic violence offenders verbally, emotionally, or physically attack without provocation. Anyone who has witnessed domestic violence destroys a family or a relationship may be curious as to why someone would act in such a way in the first place.

    Nandita answers, “Abuse frequently signifies a failure on a woman’s part to effectively express and regulate her emotions. It doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it could point to a problem with emotional control and communication.” What then are the primary reasons for abuse? What could be the causes of domestic violence in a relationship that seems happy? We discuss ahead.

    For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our YouTube channel

    In order to look out for each other, we must be aware of the warning signs of domestic abuse in our families and neighborhoods. And if you are dealing with the “why does she hit me?” crisis personally, recognizing the signs of an abusive girlfriend is crucial for your well-being and safety in the relationship. Knowing these 11 possible reasons for domestic violence in a relationship will help you get ahead of the problem before it escalates even more.

    1. Lack of communication skills

    Some women may resort to violence when they struggle with effectively expressing their feelings and frustrations. They might not have learned healthy communication techniques or may have grown up in an environment where aggression was used as a means of communication. In such cases, domestic violence can become a way for them to convey their emotions or make their point when they feel unheard or dismissed.

    Nandita suggests, “To address abuse, improving communication is essential. Selecting a time period in which there are no conflicts ensures that both the people can communicate without feeling very emotional or overwhelmed.”

    Related Reading: Why Do Men Stay On In Abusive Aelationships?

    2. Her abusive behavior stems from emotional issues

    “My girlfriend is abusive, but I could only leave her after three months of going through that emotional pain. She was manipulative every day. And now she says she wants me to come back.” — Merc, a teacher from Pennsylvania, shares with us. A study states, “Female IPV perpetrators tend to engage in more coercive and controlling behavior than physical abuse.”

    People with unresolved emotional problems or past traumas may have difficulty managing their emotions in a healthy way, creating a toxic relationship. These unresolved issues can manifest as intense anger, sadness, or anxiety, which can sometimes lead to outbursts of violence as an unhealthy coping mechanism. 

    3. She has anger management problems

    Some ask, “Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me when she’s mad at something else?” Individuals with anger management problems struggle to control their anger when they become enraged. This can occur when they feel provoked or triggered by a situation or person. The problem can be exacerbated by a lack of awareness around coping skills or a history of unaddressed conflicts. If your girlfriend has anger issues, it should involve open communication and support from both sides, not violence.

    4. Relationship stress can lead to her anger issues

    “Is it okay for my girlfriend to hit me if I made a mistake?” NO. Ongoing conflicts and tension can create a hostile and emotionally charged environment. In such situations, emotions can build up over time, leading to heightened frustration and anger. Stressors such as financial problems, infidelity, or differing expectations can contribute to relationship abuse. Consider going to individual therapy or couple’s therapy in this case, instead of hitting your partner.

    Nandita says, “In order to address and avoid violence in a relationship, it is crucial to understand a partner’s triggers and pinpoint the underlying reasons for the mental or physical abuse. There are different triggers, such as stress, unsolved issues, poor anger management, and old traumas that could lead to the relationship abuse inflicted by your girlfriend.”

    Related Reading: 9 Reasons Your Girlfriend Is Mean To You And 5 Things You Can Do

    5. She could be modeling the behavior she learned from family

    If someone grew up in a household where violence was normalized, had an abusive parent, or witnessed family members resorting to violence as a means of resolving conflicts, they may be more likely to replicate that behavior in their own relationships. This is often a learned behavior, where individuals view violence as an acceptable or even expected way to deal with problems. 

    Nandita suggests, “A good starting point for dealing with male domestic violence in a relationship is making your partner understand the need for therapy to deal with deep-rooted issues. During the recovery period of the abuser, both partners must be compassionate and cooperate with each other in order to pinpoint triggers, pursue therapy as needed, and create more constructive dispute resolution techniques.” 

    6. Jealousy and insecurity have taken hold of her

    Many may wonder, “Is it okay for my girlfriend to hit me if I flirt with someone?” The answer is a resounding no; violence is never acceptable — even if you’re micro-cheating on her. Feelings of jealousy and insecurity can be powerful emotional triggers in a relationship. This person may become fearful of losing their partner or believe that their partner is being unfaithful. The aggressor may believe that using violence will prevent their partner from leaving or straying, even though such actions are harmful and counterproductive.

    Related Reading: 7 Signs You Have A Verbally Abusive Wife And 6 Things You Can Do About It

    7. She struggles with substance abuse

    Substance abuse is a huge red flag in general, as it involves the excessive use of drugs or alcohol, which can have a significant impact on an individual’s behavior and decision-making. According to Nandita, when under the influence of these substances, a person may experience:

    • Impaired judgment
    • Reduced inhibitions
    • Decreased self-control
    • Intensified negative emotions, which amplifies conflicts

    This leads to mental or physical violence as a way to cope with or respond to perceived threats or stressors. If you’re wondering “What should I do if my girlfriend hits me every time she is under the influence of alcohol or drugs?”, it’s crucial to take immediate action to ensure your safety. Tracy (name changed), a reader, wrote to us: “My toxic girlfriend beats me when she’s drunk. But it only happens once a month or so. Is my girlfriend abusive or should I be understanding?” 

    Yes, Tracy. Your partner is abusive. Nandita adds, “Aggression and impulsive behavior seem to rise with substance misuse. Drugs and alcohol have been shown to worsen underlying emotional problems. However, addiction treatment reduces hostility while also enhancing general mental and physical health.”

    Infographic on why does my girlfriend hit me
    These are the possible reasons why you are facing domestic violence

    8. “Why does my girlfriend hit me when I’m doing well in life?” For power and control

    Do you often sit alone and wonder, “My girlfriend is abusing me ever since I asserted myself a little. Why does she do this?” Domestic violence is a deliberate pattern of behavior used to establish authority, superiority, and surveillance toward a partner.

    Some control-freak women use violence as a means to assert power and control over their partners. This is often part of a pattern of abusive behavior aimed at maintaining dominance in the relationship. The abuser may employ various tactics, such as intimidation, threats, or isolation, to make sure the partner doesn’t leave them. 

    Related Reading: Relationship Bully – What Is It And 5 Signs You Are A Victim

    9. Unresolved resentment may have built up

    In some cases, past issues or unresolved resentments within the relationship can build up over time, creating a toxic emotional environment. When an individual holds onto these negative feelings without addressing or resolving them, they may release their frustration through physical aggression. Intimate partner violence is used as a way to express their pain, anger, and resentment in a relationship when they feel unable to communicate their emotions effectively.

    Chess, a skater from L.A., shares with us, “One day, I finally gathered the courage to reach out to my friend: ‘Please don’t laugh at what I’m about to say. I’m serious. My girlfriend hits me, what should I do? I know she’s mad at me but she won’t tell me the reason.’ Reaching out to trusted people is essential, that’s what I’ve learned from my ordeal. Men face quite a lot of stigma in this area and are often mocked.”

    10. She’s going through mental health issues

    We’ve often heard people say “My girlfriend’s mental health is affecting me.” Underlying mental health issues can contribute to violent behavior in some individuals. Conditions such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Impulse Control Disorders, or any kind of mental illness can affect a person’s ability to regulate their emotions and impulses. Let’s talk about these disorders:

    • Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Individuals with BPD often struggle with intense mood swings, impulsivity, and unstable relationships. If she’s suffering from BPD, she may experience intense anger and fear of abandonment, which can lead to outbursts of violence as a way to manage her emotional turmoil or maintain relationships
    • Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD): People with ASPD may exhibit a pattern of aggressive behavior and manipulation in relationships. They may lack empathy and remorse, making it more likely for them to engage in violent acts without guilt or regret
    • Impulse Control Disorders: These disorders, such as intermittent explosive disorder (IED), are characterized by difficulty in controlling aggressive impulses. Such individuals may react violently to minor provocations or stressors, which is a huge sign of possible domestic abuse

    Research on domestic violence against men, published in The National Library of Medicine, states that prevalence rates of domestic physical violence against men ranged from 3.4% to 20.3% and factors such as alcohol abuse, jealousy, mental illness, physical impairment, and short relationship duration are linked to a higher risk of men becoming victims of domestic violence. 

    Related Reading: Do Men Have Feelings? Why Do They Have Difficulty Expressing Emotions?

    11. Her culture normalizes violence

    This is one of the key signs of an abusive girlfriend. In certain cultures or communities, physical aggression may be viewed as a legitimate way to resolve disputes or assert dominance. However, this normalization of abuse can create an environment where violent behavior is not only accepted but expected in certain situations. Here’s how it can impact individuals and relationships:

    • Difficulty identifying abuse: Victims of domestic violence in cultures or communities where violence is normalized behind closed doors may have difficulty identifying that they are being abused. They may rationalize or downplay the violence, not making a big deal out of it and believing it’s a customary way of resolving conflicts; so the abuse continues
    • Acceptance of violence: When intimate partner violence is normalized, individuals may grow up believing that physical aggression is a normal and acceptable response to conflicts. This acceptance can make it challenging for them to recognize that such behavior is abusive and harmful, deteriorating their mental health. They may be less likely to seek help or intervention when they are victims of violence. This takes a hit on their self-esteem

    Breaking free from the cycle of normalized violence often requires education, strong mental health, and awareness of relationship dynamics. Communities and organizations that work to raise awareness about domestic violence can play a crucial role in helping individuals recognize and address abusive behavior.

    If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1.
    For anonymous, confidential help, 24/7, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

    Is It Normal For My Girlfriend To Hit Me?

    It goes without saying that physical abuse in a romantic relationship is aberrant and completely unacceptable, much like emotional abuse and mental abuse. Respect for each other, trust in one another, empathy, and open communication are qualities that define happy, safe, and loving partnerships. You’re not in a relationship to be your partner’s punching bag. 

    An excerpt from an issue of The British Journal of Criminology clearly states, “Some research findings reveal that women are as likely as men to perpetrate violence against an intimate partner.” Conflicts and disagreements are an inevitable element of human contact in a good relationship, but not abuse or violence. For scenarios of domestic violence, a coercive control checklist will prove to be a good paradigm for a professional to assess your state. 

    Related Reading: Your Guide On How To Deal With An Angry Person In A Relationship

    A coercive control checklist is a tool used to assess and identify patterns of abusive behavior in a relationship. Here’s what it entails:

    • Are you being isolated from your friends and family?
    • Do you feel like your partner has constant surveillance on your activities?
    • Does your partner have financial control over you?
    • Do they manipulate you emotionally?
    • Have they ever hit you? If yes, did they make you feel it was your fault?

    By using this checklist, professionals and individuals can better recognize and address situations of coercive control, promoting healthier and safer relationships. No one should put up with abuse, and seeking support and assistance is not a show of weakness; rather, it is a brave move toward ending a damaging cycle.

    On AbuseOn Abuse

    What To Do If Your Girlfriend Hits You — 7 Ways To Protect Yourself

    Remember, playful hitting is different from violence. You may ask, “Is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me on my shoulder with love?” Tell us this. Does it harm you? Does it make you uncomfortable? Does she keep going even if you’re not in the mood to be teased? If not, then you’re still in a healthy relationship. But if you find yourself in a situation where your girlfriend is physically harming you, it’s essential to prioritize your safety and well-being. Dealing with an aggressive girlfriend requires taking steps to protect your well-being and seeking help.

    Nandita says, “Seeking expert assistance is crucial when a girlfriend starts to severely mistreat you in your own home. Professionals have the knowledge to delve deeply into the psychological, behavioral, and emotional factors behind the violence. To effectively address these challenges, they can provide direction, methods, and therapeutic approaches.” 

    Although ending an abusive relationship can be difficult, it is a brave move toward guaranteeing your health and taking back control of your life. Here are seven steps to protect yourself from physical abuse:

    1. Remove yourself from immediate danger

    “My girlfriend slapped me twice in a week. I went numb. I kept thinking of reasons why my girlfriend is mad at me instead of calling her out on her abusive behavior,” shares Pete (name changed), a reader from New Jersey. If this happens to you, prioritize your physical safety. 

    If possible, leave the immediate vicinity to avoid further harm. Keep an escape plan ready if you are in a domestic partnership. Go to a public place or a friend or family member’s house if you can. Try to remain calm and discuss the worst-case scenarios with your loved one(s) to get them out of your head.

    2. Call the authorities

    “My girlfriend beats me” is not something we hear often, and societal stigma plays a huge role here. Contact the authorities or emergency services if you are in immediate danger or have been injured. Law enforcement can and should ensure your safety and provide you with legal protection without disbelieving you. 

    Related Reading: How Saying Hurtful Things In A Relationship Affects It

    3. Seek medical attention

    Addressing this relationship issue immediately is very crucial for you. If you have been injured, seek medical attention promptly. It’s essential to document any injuries, as this can be important if you decide to involve the legal system. Especially if you think your partner can perpetuate violence again.

    4. Talk to someone you trust

    A case study in the International Journal of Environment, Ecology, Family and Urban Studies (IJEEFUS) discussed that men find it much harder to get out of the trauma of violence because of the disbelief and stereotyped reaction from their friends and families. Which is why we cannot overemphasize the importance of seeking help. 

    Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor who can provide emotional validation, support, and guidance. Share your experience with someone who can help you through this difficult time. We hope, with time, you go from “Why does my girlfriend hit me?” to “I need to get out of this relationship.”

    5. Consider a restraining order

    Nothing good can come from staying with someone who hit you. If you fear for your safety and need legal protection, consult with an attorney about obtaining a restraining order or a protective order against your girlfriend. This can legally prevent her from approaching you or your residence or workplace.

    is it normal for my girlfriend to hit meis it normal for my girlfriend to hit me
    It’s not normal for your girlfriend to hit you and this problem should be addressed immediately

    6. Document the abuse

    A common question: “My girlfriend is abusing me, what should I do to prove that?” Keep a record of any incidents of physical abuse, including photos, videos, dates, times, locations, and descriptions of what occurred. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to involve law enforcement or seek a restraining order.

    Related Reading: My Abusive Wife Beat Me Up Regularly But I Fled Home And Found A New Life

    7. Seek professional help

    Reach out to a therapist who specializes in domestic violence or relationship issues. If you have been contemplating, “Why does my girlfriend hit me?”, then seeking such guidance can help you navigate the maze of questions in your head. Just so you know, skilled and licensed counselors on Bonobology’s panel are always here for you.

    Nandita says, “Because counselors maintain strict secrecy, seeking counseling in situations of domestic violence can create a safe environment. Restraining orders, contacting law authorities to protect immediate safety, or requesting aid from domestic violence shelters and support organizations are just a few examples of legal actions that can be taken.”

    Key Pointers

    • No matter one’s gender, educational qualifications, or ‘status’ in society, anyone can be a perpetrator or victim of abuse. Safety should always come first
    • Using physical force in relationships is never acceptable and can result in physical and emotional scarring that lasts a lifetime
    • Violent outbursts of your girlfriend can be a coping mechanism for excessive anger or anxiety brought on by unresolved emotional difficulties and past traumas
    • Hostility in a partner might accumulate as a result of relationship stress, disputes, or tension, which can cause emotional outbursts and occasional physical violence
    • To address the root causes of abuse and create coping and healing methods, professional assistance is advised
    • Seek help from the law or friends/family or social services, document the abuse, get a restraining order, or move out of your house to somewhere safe to get yourself out of harm’s way

    The act of violence within a romantic relationship is a deeply concerning issue that demands both attention and action. While it is essential to understand some of the possible reasons behind domestic violence, it is equally crucial to emphasize that there is never a valid justification for abuse. 

    Recognizing that you are a victim of domestic violence is the first step toward seeking help and taking action to protect yourself. It is essential to reach out to professionals, support networks, and organizations dedicated to assisting individuals facing domestic violence. It is equally important for society as a whole to raise awareness about domestic violence, challenge harmful gender stereotypes, and promote healthy relationship dynamics. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate this challenging situation.  

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  • 50 Incredible Responses To The “Dating Me Is Like” Hinge Prompt

    50 Incredible Responses To The “Dating Me Is Like” Hinge Prompt

    Are you one of those who go straight to stalking their potential match on social media as soon as they win the swiping game on a dating app? Let’s accept it, waiting to break the ice on the first date doesn’t work for most of us in this fast-paced era of online dating. And this is where the “dating me is like” Hinge prompt comes in.

    Don’t you want to know a good deal about that hot guy or girl you’re about to date, right from the time you set your eyes on them on a dating site? And we’re sure a social media profile helps, as their lives are probably laid out like a reality show on it. But most often, the photos, posts, and other information that we get about a guy or a girl online before venturing to date them, can cause a sensory overload. Don’t worry, friend.

    Hinge prompts not only help you put your creative hats on but also help you tickle that funny bone of your potential match. Through the 50 “dating me is like” Hinge prompts in this article, we’ll try and help you score not just someone to date but someone who’s compatible with you and shares your sense of humor and interests. So, what are we waiting for? Let’s get straight to our list of Hinge prompt answer ideas and “dating me is like” examples.

    What Is The “Dating Me Is Like” Prompt On Hinge?

    In spite of the sea of information available these days, both on social media and online dating sites, the quest for a perfect match on online platforms may often end up futile. This is because it’s a trend these days to hit up a person one likes online, chat for a few days, and then meet them in person. And by the time one has a proper physical date, a person may have created an enigmatic image of the prospective date in their minds.

    And when the date doesn’t live up to what their online or social media image promised, there’s bound to be a huge disappointment, which will end with a few days off from dating apps, and then an eventual return, with a new search for a soulmate. For instance, you may have chosen to go on a date with a girl after going through her photos at a dance party. But she turns out to be a science nerd when you meet her. Or you may have decided to hang out with a guy who’s undeniably cute on social media, only to find out later that he is not even mildly thrilling.

    Hinge has been an effective dating app for young people for quite some time. And the Hinge prompts are great tools that allow people to get to know their prospective dates better. One such Hinge prompt is the “dating me is like” prompt, which is a great ice-breaker.

    Dating me is like examples
    Dating me is like changing a password

    All a person needs to do is fill in the blank with a funny and quirky answer to attract hot singles of their type. It lets you showcase what makes you unique and is like a ‘perks of dating me’ section, but a little jazzed up! It also lets you describe your traits in just a few words and in a creative manner. How? Well, it helps people:

    • Showcase their strengths and interests
    • Highlight their wit and sense of humor
    • Provide a gist of their entire personality, telling your potential matches what to expect
    • Escape monotonous and boring online dating profile descriptions
    • Offer great conversation starters to their prospective dates

    In this article, we’ll help you break the ice with your would-be date by providing you a few funny, flirty, goofy, sentimental, and low-key responses to this popular “dating me is like” Hinge prompt, that will surely get you a match you’ll get along with. So, let’s begin.

    Related Reading: 160 Best Pickup Lines For Guys

    50 Responses To “Dating Me Is Like…” — Keep Your Matches Hooked

    Now that we know how the “dating me is like” Hinge prompt helps people showcase their uniqueness through just a few words, let’s find out a few answers to this prompt that are sure to make your prospective matches laugh out loud and approach you with positivity. The very idea behind these responses is to make you look approachable. We’ll avoid being too serious though. After all, we don’t want to scare your matches away, do we? So, let’s tickle those funny bones and explore our creativity.

    We’ve divided these incredible answers to the “dating me is like” Hinge prompt into 5 categories: funny, flirty, goofy, sentimental, and low-key. And we’re sure that with these mind-blowing answers, coupled with your charisma and enchanting personality, you will definitely take the online dating world by storm. So, here it goes…

    Funny “dating me is like” answers

    How do funny Hinge prompt answers help? Well, it’s extremely crucial to highlight your sense of humor when you’re looking to date someone. Of course, people have different levels of wit and humor, and not all jokes will go down with everyone. But that’s the point. With these funny “dating me is like” Hinge prompts, you’ll attract exactly the kind of person you want: one who will enjoy your funny bone and maybe even crack a joke or two with you on your first date. You may even include some self-deprecating humor or some funny lines from your favorite humor shows. So, here are some hilarious answers to “dating me is like”:

    1. An unexpected direct deposit hitting your bank account when you’re broke: you’re hella lucky
    2. Entering the wrong movie theater
    3. Going viral on social media with your first reel. You’ll get what you never expected!
    4. Getting 3 jobs at once after being unemployed for 3 months. You’ll get more than what you bargained for
    5. Having 2 Sundays in a week

    Related Reading: 31 Funny Ways To Start A Text Conversation And Get Responses!

    6. Receiving a mail saying a secret benefactor left you his million-dollar fortune and all the bills are paid! You won’t believe you’ve got such a great deal!
    7. Being called on to the stage by Taylor Swift (you never know what you’ll be asked to do next)
    8. Winning an ‘all you can have’ meal at your favorite restaurant. You can never have enough food at my place, and I’m always ordering from new restaurants
    9. Being kissed by a new puppy — It’s all love, but a little clingy
    10. Watching Barbie and Oppenheimer on the same day

    Hinge prompt answersHinge prompt answers
    Dating me is like…watching Barbie and Oppenheimer on the same day!

    Hopefully, these funny Hinge prompt answers will help you meet someone who shares your sense your humor and appreciates it. And if you’re scared of rubbing them the wrong way with these prompts, we assure you that a witty “dating me is like” joke can’t do much harm.

    Flirty responses to “dating me is like”

    We also have a few incredible “dating me is like” prompts for those who wish to keep their flirty side alive. Yes, being funny does attract people. After all, who doesn’t want a good laugh to begin with? But it’s also crucial to showcase your flirtatious nature before you meet so that your date isn’t taken aback by your flirty hints. So, here are a few flirty ways to answer the “dating me is like” Hinge prompt:

    11. Changing your Facebook relationship status to ‘in a relationship’ after being single for years: pretty cute, but nobody (not even you) expected it!
    12. Snuggling into a cozy blanket while it rains outside!
    13. Finding your soulmate after 10 failed relationships. Even you won’t believe yourself!
    14. Receiving flowers every day — a new flower each day
    15. Getting an “I love you” text from your crush
    16. Reading a cross between a ‘Mills & Boon’ volume and Pride and Prejudice. There’s mush everywhere!
    17. Being treated to a candle-lit dinner by your celebrity crush! It doesn’t feel real
    18. Finding your soulmate while on a vacation!
    19. Getting trapped with your crush in an elevator. And you’ll hope it never ends!
    20. Getting your favorite song dedicated to you by your crush on national TV! Corny, but romantic

    Related Reading: Sending The First Message On A Dating App – 23 Texts For That Perfect Start

    We hope the flirty answers mentioned above will help you find someone equally flirtatious. But flirt with caution, as just like in the case of jokes, flirty words too may get you into trouble if you’re playing the game with the wrong person.

    “Dating me is like…” — Goofy answers only

    Okay, so some of us are just goofy and clumsy. But we can be funny in our own weird and silly way. In fact, being goofy together is a great sign that a match might stand the test of time and turn into a long-term relationship. After all, we are all special because of our quirks, and once in a while, we can express our goofiness with the help of a “dating me is like” meme or a quirky answer. So, let’s take a look at a few goofy “dating me is like” answers:

    21. Finding an extra chicken nugget in your ‘happy meal’!
    22. Taking a big sip of your favorite vodka! You know you’ll be slightly unstable soon but you still love it
    23. Changing a password and getting the “New password can’t be the old password” prompt. It’s not easy to change me
    24. Watching the last season of Game of Thrones. You might wonder “why”!

    Dating me is like answersDating me is like answers
    Dating me is like… watching the last season of GOT

    25. Finding your favorite Sour Patch Kid flavor! You’re probably too old for it but you’ll still love it
    26. Deciphering a doctor’s handwriting. You’ll be happy you did it!
    27. Hitting the remote when it’s not working, instead of changing the battery. You’ll try to make me better but won’t try to get a new guy
    28. Laughing out loud at your own jokes. Silly, but funny!
    29. Getting on a never-ending ride on your favorite rollercoaster. It goes on… and it’s exciting!
    30. Winning an Oscar! Yes, you’ll be honored

    Related Reading: The Ultimate Funny Online Dating Questions

    You have no idea how a silly “dating me is like” meme can bring you together. Instead of hiding your goofiness, let it all out and see the magic! These funny answers to what makes you unique can help you reach out to ‘the one’. Maybe, your date too is waiting for someone just like you! And you’ll eventually get to know how effective a “perks of dating me” meme can be.

    Sentimental “dating me is like” responses

    Yes, being sentimental is known as “being corny” these days. And young people mostly prefer “dating me is like” funny answers. But if you have a soft side to yourself, why not highlight that too on Hinge? Who knows, you might just find someone who believes in sentiments and emotions! Here are some such sentimental answers to the “dating me is like”
    Hinge prompt:

    31. Never having to wait for “good night” texts again!
    32. Not having to wet your pillows with tears again
    33. Being treated to a cup of hot chocolate by your crush on a cold winter day. Yes, it will be rejuvenating!
    34. The final airport scene of rom-coms
    35. Making love under the open skies… it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience!

    Related Reading: 30 Fun Texting Games For Couples 

    36. Getting a warm hug after a hard day at work. You won’t know how much you need it until you get it
    37. Early morning yoga. It will cleanse your soul
    38. A hot shower on a snowy afternoon. It’s all you want at the moment
    39. Cooking a favorite meal together
    40. The first rays of the Sun after hiking up a mountain in the dark. It may be difficult but worth it!

    Sentiments and emotions may not be appreciated by just anyone these days. But if you’re the kind of person who likes a little depth in your relationships, these sentimental prompts will get you closer to the right one for you.

    Dating tips Dating tips

    Low-key responses to “dating me is like”

    It’s true, not everyone is looking for an adrenaline rush when it comes to dating. Not everyone is trying to attract attention by being ‘different’ either. So, how can those who believe in low-key attraction try their luck on Hinge? Worry not, my friend. If you are one of those who love subtle hints of romance and intellectual compatibility, without being too flashy, here are a few “dating me is like” Hinge prompts for you to try:

    41. Watching a TED Talk: deep and insightful!
    42. Finishing a Netflix series
    43. Cliff jumping under the sunny skies
    44. Stumbling upon a rare artifact at a thrift store
    45. Closing a deal at a flea market
    46. A Sunday brunch with friends
    47. A day out at the museum
    48. Cooking up a new dish every day
    49. Watching a sunset on your terrace. Quiet but soul-soothing!
    50. The thrill of buying books every time you visit a bookstore

    Related Reading: 125 How Well Do You Know Me Questions For A More Intimate Relationship

    Low-key responses will work for you if you don’t want just about anybody responding to your Hinge profile. People who try low-key answers know they’re unique in their own way and are willing to wait for the right one. They believe in brains and intellect over beauty and brawn. After all, a person can be absolutely flawless in social media photos or Tinder profiles and a dull dud in reality.

    We hope you enjoyed reading through our list of “dating me is like” examples and that we’ve been able to show you how to answer Hinge prompts effectively. The best part of the “dating me is like” Hinge prompt is that it allows you to be original. Aren’t we all tired of looking at tags such as ‘wanderlust’ and quotes from our favorite authors in dating profile descriptions? Plus, with these prompts, you’ll have something to discuss, apart from your favorite band or the first episode of your favorite Netflix show. With creative Hinge answers, one can get a sneak peek into the person they’re about to meet.

    Remember, attracting a prospective date isn’t rocket science. But if you’re someone who wants to look beyond a person’s appearance on social media, the “dating me is like” prompt might just be the perfect tool for you to score a match. Hope our list of prompts, ranging from witty “dating me is like” jokes to sentimental and low-key prompts, helps you in your search. We also hope you find your potential matches chuckle at these unique answers and “dating me” memes and that your journey of finally finding someone ends on a positive note soon. So, don’t wait anymore. This is perhaps just what you’ve been looking for. Explore Hinge and the world beyond.

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  • 100 Best Hinge Conversation Starters To Get You To The Talking Stage

    100 Best Hinge Conversation Starters To Get You To The Talking Stage

    Looking to level up your dating game and avoid the abyss of ghosting? Dive into this list of 100 best Hinge conversation starters to get you to the talking stage! Whether you’re wondering how to start a conversation on Hinge, seeking the right questions to ask on Hinge, or just plain curious about what to say on Hinge, we have got you covered.

    Online dating is not just about swiping right anymore; it’s about crafting the perfect conversation that keeps sparks flying. From how to start a Hinge conversation that sizzles to picking the perfect hinge conversation topics that are both fun and lighthearted, this guide is your secret weapon to authentic connections.

    How To Start Conversation On Hinge With A Girl

    Want to nail that first impression on Hinge? It’s no wonder you’re trying to figure out how to start conversation on Hinge with a girl. After all, a lot is riding on your words here. Fret not, we’ve got you covered. Let’s dive into the best hinge conversation starters that will melt her heart. Along the way, we’ll also share some tips on the best way to start a conversation on Hinge with a girl.

    1. Do a quick profile check

    To come up with engaging Hinge conversation starters, do a quick profile sweep. Look for clues, interests, or hobbies you can weave into the conversation. Treat it like detective work and look for the little details that can give you a common interest to connect over. Here are some hinge conversation examples to showcase your investigative skills in a non-creepy way:

    • I noticed you’re into photography. Any favorite spots for snapping pics?
    • Your love for hiking caught my eye. Got a top hiking memory to share?
    • Your pet looks adorable! Do they have any quirky habits you adore?
    • I see you’re into cooking. What’s your signature dish that I absolutely need to try?
    • So, you’re a traveler, eh? Share a memorable travel story! I’m all ears

    Related Reading: 26 Things To Text When A Conversation Dies

    2. Bond over shares interests — It’s a date idea goldmine

    If you want to improve your odds of success in the online dating arena, find common ground with your match. We cannot stress its importance enough. It is like discovering buried treasure. It makes conversation flow naturally and even gives you some amazing date ideas. Once you’ve found that area of shared interest, use these conversation starters on Hinge to make her see you both are meant to be together:

    • I’m a total foodie too! What’s your all-time favorite cuisine, and do you have a go-to restaurant?
    • I see you’re a Marvel fan. Who’s your favorite Avenger, and can you convince me why they’re the best?
    • I’m into sci-fi too! Any book or movie recommendations for a fellow enthusiast?
    • A fitness enthusiast, I see! What’s your go-to workout routine?
    • Looks like you are an art lover. Have you been to any amazing art exhibitions recently? I’d love to hear about them!
    best way to start a conversation on Hinge
    “I see you’re into cooking. What’s your signature dish that I absolutely need to try?”

    3. Go beyond their looks and bio, dig deeper

    Paying compliments is passe. If you really want to show your match you’re genuinely interested and stand out in the slew of options at her disposal, you must engage with her passions and interests. If you are at a loss about how to start a conversation on Hinge so that it doesn’t fizzle out after small talk, you must aim to build an instant connection. There Hinge conversation starters can help:

    • Your travel photos are stunning! Any upcoming adventures on the horizon? I’m always looking for exciting travel stories
    • That painting in your background is impressive. Did you create it yourself, or is it a cherished find?
    • Your bio mentions volunteering. Tell me more about your favorite volunteering experience. I’d love to hear how it touched your heart
    • You’re a dog person too! Any funny dog stories to share?
    • I see you’re a tech geek. Got any favorite gadgets or apps that you swear by? I could use some recommendations.

    4. Play the “what if” game

    Hypothetical questions can spark fun and intriguing conversations if you do not know what to say on Hinge. They are an excellent way to get to know someone’s dreams and desires. Here are some hinge conversation examples you can work with to use the good old “what if” game to strike a connection with your match:

    • If you could time travel to the past or future, which one would you choose and why?
    • Beach or mountains for a vacation? Help me decide where my next trip should be
    • If you could have a superpower, what would it be, and what is the first heroic act you’d perform?
    • If you could meet any historical figure, who would it be, and what question would you ask them?
    • Would you rather explore space or the deep ocean? Tell me about your dream adventures!

    Related Reading: 21 Exciting Conversation Games For Couples — Keep The Playfulness Alive!

    5. Embrace authenticity — Be you, unapologetically

    Above all, be yourself. Authenticity shines through and is incredibly attractive. Share your unique personality with these Hinge conversation starters:

    • I’m a music junkie too. Any song you can’t stop listening to lately? I’m always looking for new tunes
    • I noticed you’re a fan of classic films. Have you seen Casablanca? It’s one of my favorites. What classic film do you adore?
    • Your passion for fitness is inspiring. Got a daily diet routine you follow? I am struggling with that!
    • I’m a big reader too. Recommend me a must-read book. I trust fellow bookworms’ suggestions the most
    • Your love for books is amazing. Who is your favorite author? I’d love to hear more about them

    Online dating can be scary yet thrilling at the same time. With these effective dating app conversation starters, you’re well-equipped to get to the “talking stage” and beyond. Keep it real, be curious, and remember, it’s not just about getting the first date, it’s about building a connection that can potentially change your life. So, start those conversations and let your unique self shine through!

    How To Start Conversation On Hinge With A Guy

    You’ve matched with a guy on Hinge, and now you’re thinking about how to kickstart that chat and take it to the next level. Here are five tips to master how to start conversation on Hinge with a guy that will have him hooked in no time.

    1. Dive into his hobbies

    Sending the first message on a dating app can be a tricky business. To begin an engaging conversation, there’s no better move than diving into your match’s hobbies. Whether he’s an adrenaline junkie into extreme sports or a professional athlete, this is your doorway to a great conversation on Hinge.

    • Those mountain biking pics of yours look like a wild ride! Have you ever taken on a trail in the Rockies?
    • I see you’re a chess enthusiast. How long have you been playing?
    • That diving pic caught my attention. Have you explored any fascinating underwater wrecks?
    • Guitar player? Do you like to strum solo, or do you jam with your friends?
    • Your love for cars is evident. Any unforgettable driving moments?

    2. Break free from the mundane greetings

    You’ve probably heard it a million times — ditch the boring “Hey.” Instead, start with some interesting icebreaker questions that invite intrigue. Here are some unexpected hinge conversation topics to help you get started:

    • Imagine you are stuck in an elevator for three hours. What is your game plan for staying sane?
    • I see you are a mystery enthusiast. Any favorite detective movie that has you hooked?
    • If you could play one movie character, who would it be and why?
    • Time for a pizza debate: What’s the ultimate topping that takes a slice to the next level?
    • If your life had a theme song, which track would you pick, and why?

    Related Reading: 300 This Or That Questions For Couples – Funny, Flirty, Juicy, Deep & Random

    3. Explore personal growth stories

    Uncover his journey of personal growth, and you’ll be in for some profound insights. Ask about his experiences and milestones.

    • I noticed your interest in self-improvement books. Any titles that have had a big impact on you?
    • Have you attended any life-changing seminars or workshops recently?
    • Achievements often mark personal growth. What’s one accomplishment that made you feel on top of the world?
    • Your dedication to fitness shows. Are you a gym regular, or do you have a unique workout routine?
    • Ever embarked on a solo trip for self-discovery? Where did you go, and what did you learn?
    More on dating appsMore on dating apps

    4. Stay current with trends

    The most effective way to start a conversation on Hinge is by delving into current affairs or trendy topics that pique your curiosity. Here are some ideas that will help you keep your conversations going fresh and off-beat:

    • With the surge in cryptocurrencies, what’s your take on the future of digital money?
    • Caught any recent blockbuster films that left an impression?
    • Technology is evolving fast. Any recent tech innovation that has you excited?
    • Gaming is a big deal for many. What’s the most addictive game you’ve played lately?
    • Space exploration is making headlines. How do you feel about the latest developments in that field?

    Related Reading: The Art Of Online Dating: Navigating The World Of Apps And Websites

    5. Have a car and tech enthusiast chat

    For those with an interest in cars and tech, this is your ticket to sparking an engaging conversation.

    • Couldn’t help but notice that sportscar in your pic. Have you ever pushed it to its limits?
    • Any recent tech gadgets you think have transformed our lives?
    • Android or iOS — what’s your choice and why?
    • Ever tried your hand at DIY upgrades or modifications on your car?
    • Any upcoming tech releases that have captured your interest?

    Connecting with someone on Hinge is all about finding that common ground and kickstarting engaging conversations. Dive into his interests, make it a tad personal, and watch your interactions flourish.

    Funny Hinge Conversation Starters

    In online dating, laughter is often the magic ingredient that turns a simple chat into a memorable encounter. Why? Because humor disarms, connects, and creates an instant bond. If you can master the art of funny ways of starting a text conversation, there’s no looking back. Whether you’re searching for Hinge conversation starters with a girl or a guy, remember that being real and humorous can be the golden ticket to someone’s heart (or at least a delightful conversation). To that end, here are our hand-picked funny Hinge conversation starters that you just can’t go wrong with:

    1. I’m not saying I’m the best catch on this dating app, but my Netflix queue? Oscar-worthy
    2. Trying to figure out if love at first swipe is real or if I just have a really clean screen
    3. Matched with you and immediately dropped my phone. Hope it’s not an omen
    4. Pineapple pizza supporter here. Don’t worry, I support other controversial toppings too
    5. Took a quiz to find my spirit animal. Got a potato. Feeling proud
    6. I’ve been practicing my dance moves for our future TikTok debut. Any requests?
    7. I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together…on a rollercoaster, screaming our heads off
    8. In another life, I might have been a stand-up comedian. But for now, I’ll settle for making you laugh
    9. You know you’re a true adult when you get excited about new kitchen gadgets. Latest purchase: a vegetable slicer
    10. They say the best way to a person’s heart is through their stomach. So, what’s your go-to comfort food?
    11. I’ve watched every cat video on the internet. Now I’m looking for someone to send them to
    12. They say laughter is the best medicine, so here’s your daily dose: Knock knock…
    13. I once tried to impress someone by learning a magic trick. Let’s just say, I made a coin disappear… forever. Do you like magic tricks?
    14. My dream job as a kid was to be a taste tester. What’s your childhood dream job?
    15. I’m not a magician, but I can make your inbox disappear… if you don’t reply!
    16. Let’s settle the debate: Pancakes or waffles? I take my breakfast seriously
    17. Attempting to be a plant parent. Got any tips for not turning it into a plant cemetery?
    18. Went on a ‘nature walk’ in my backyard. How do you stay adventurous indoors?
    19. I’ve mastered the art of DIY haircuts. Now I’m looking for someone to appreciate my uneven bangs
    20. Started a one-person book club. Looking for a second member. Wanna join?
    21. They say everyone has a ‘weird’ food combo they love. What’s yours?
    22. Used a GPS for a walk in my own neighborhood. Still got lost. Ever had technology turn against you?
    23. Learning to cook. First lesson: Smoke detectors are very loud. Got any fail-proof recipes?
    24. Attempting to be an adult but constantly googling ‘How to adult.’ What’s your latest adulting struggle?
    25. Bought a puzzle thinking it would be relaxing. It’s now an ongoing battle. Ever had a love-hate relationship with a hobby?

    Related Reading: Dating Abbreviations You Need To Know! Here’s 25 On Our List

    Humor isn’t just about cracking jokes; it’s a bridge that fosters understanding and eases nerves. When navigating the sea of Hinge messages, remember that a dash of humor is often the spoonful of sugar that makes the digital meet-cute go down most delightfully. So, go on, put a grin on someone’s face today!

    how to start a Hinge conversation how to start a Hinge conversation
    “I’m not a magician, but I can make your inbox disappear… if you don’t reply!”

    Questions To Ask On Hinge

    Let’s be real: the real challenge isn’t getting a match or a date on dating apps, it’s starting a conversation that doesn’t make you cringe internally. If you’re here, you’re probably wondering how to start a Hinge conversation that’s a tad bit more original than a simple greeting like “Hey, how are you?”. So buckle up, as we unravel questions to ask on Hinge that are both unique and give you insights into your match’s personality.

    1. If you could trade lives with any fictional character for a day, who would it be?
    2. What’s the most rebellious thing you did as a teenager?
    3. What’s a ridiculous fact you know but have no idea why?
    4. If you had to survive a zombie apocalypse, which three items from your room would you take?
    5. Do you pour milk first or cereal?
    6. How would you describe yourself in three emojis?
    7. What’s your go-to karaoke song?
    8. What’s your most embarrassing moment?
    9. What’s your worst roommate story?
    10. If you could insert yourself into any movie scene, which one would it be?
    11. What’s a weird food combination you absolutely love?
    12. If you were a ghost, where would you haunt and why?
    13. What’s your spirit animal and why?
    14. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
    15. What’s the most random thing in your bag right now?
    16. If you could invent a new ice cream flavor, what would it be?
    17. What’s the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?
    18. What’s a childhood game you secretly (or not-so-secretly) still love?
    19. Do you believe in aliens? Why or why not?
    20. If your life was a movie, what would be the title and why?
    21. What’s the funniest animal video you’ve ever seen?
    22. If you were to start a secret society, what would it be about?
    23. What’s your most controversial life choice?
    24. If you could have dinner with any three people (dead or alive), who would they be?
    25. If you could time travel, where and when would you go?

    Related Reading: Things Guys Do On Dating Apps That Instantly Creep Women Out

    The dating game on Hinge isn’t just about asking the right questions but understanding the story behind the answers. So, whether you’re looking to nail that first date after meeting online or simply want to dive deeper, remember that asking engaging, open-ended questions is your best bet.

    Navigating the dating app world can be daunting, but with the right tools, it is pretty cool. The key to unlocking a potential date on Hinge isn’t just about sending a first message. It’s about crafting that message in a subtle way that genuinely engages with someone’s profile. By diving deep into their Hinge profile, you can discover shared interests and passions that help fuel meaningful conversations. Remember, making an authentic connection goes beyond surface-level chats. So, next time you’re about to hit “send,” ensure you’ve made that effort to truly understand and connect.

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  • How Does A Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?

    How Does A Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?

    While talking about narcissism in his bestselling book The Art of Loving, psychoanalyst Erich Fromm said, “The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one’s narcissism.” And he was right. Narcissism can, in many cases prevent a healthy relationship from blossoming, because nothing or nobody is more important to narcissists than their own selves. Control is the hallmark of a narcissist’s character. But how does a narcissist react when they can’t control you? And how does a narcissist feel when you don’t beg and plead to save the relationship?

    You can be sure that a narcissist wouldn’t take indifference lying down. When you take control away from a narcissist, they wouldn’t even let go of you and would want to continue victimizing you initially. In this article, with the help of our expert relationship counselor Dhriti Bhavsar (Master’s degree in Psychology, with specialization in Clinical Psychology), whose expertise includes areas such as relationships, pre-marital counseling, LGBTQ+ issues, and breakups, we will delve deeper into what happens when a narcissist knows he is losing or discovers she is being left. So, read on to get answers to your burning question, “How does a narcissist act when they lose you?”, and save yourself from narcissistic abuse.

    How Does A Narcissistic Person Control You? 

    It’s common knowledge that narcissists thrive on attention. They are people with excessive self-love and a constant need to feel special. They also lack empathy or romantic feelings and aggressively dominate those around them or use them for their own benefit. Research has proved time and again that pathological narcissists show a number of marked character traits. So, people with grandiose narcissism (originating from an innate superiority complex) can show: 

    • Arrogance
    • Entitlement
    • Envy
    • Charm

    While people with vulnerable narcissism (stemming from a lack of self-esteem) show:

    • Insecurity
    • Devaluation
    • Emptiness

    Related Reading: 21 Stages Of A Narcissistic Relationship With An Empath

    But how does a narcissist act when they need to control you? Dhriti explains, “Narcissists mostly rely on tactics of emotional manipulation to control people. They have no concern for a person’s feelings.” And these tactics are tools for narcissists to overpower their loved ones and others around them. So, let’s take a look at some of these manipulative actions that narcissists employ:

    1. Gaslighting

    Gaslighting is the act of making you doubt your sanity by negating your feelings, and narcissists are masters of this act of manipulation. Dhriti says, “For narcissists, it’s all about preventing the victim from bringing up any relationship doubt or issues by denying their truth or recollection of events. So, in such cases, narcissists may use statements such as: “You’re remembering things wrong” or “It wasn’t that bad,” to make the victim question themselves and second guess their own experiences and feelings.”

    when a narcissist realizes they lost you
    Gaslighting is a typical narcissistic trait when a narcissist starts losing control over you

    2. Love bombing and ghosting 

    Another tactic that narcissists use to gain control is a conscious mix of love bombing and ghosting. Love bombing is when they shower excessive love on someone while ghosting entails cutting all contact and communication without any explanation.

    Dhriti adds, “Narcissists make sure it’s a constant cat-and-mouse chase. When they’re giving you attention, there’s so much that you don’t know what to do with it. They will shower you with gifts, time, and sweet words. They will make you feel on top of the world. Then, all of a sudden, they’ll back off completely and ghost you. There will be no contact and no reply to texts or calls. Even if they do eventually respond, they will be emotionally distant and cold. This might make the victim emotionally insecure and reliant on the narcissist to make them feel better.”

    3. Playing the victim card

    Narcissists are always the victims in their own eyes. They never own up to their faults, feel guilty for their wrongdoings, or take accountability for their actions. Dhriti says, “Even if the actual victim tries to bring something up that the narcissist did to hurt them, the narcissist will turn it on its head and take that chance to criticize everything the victim does.”

    4. Projection

    Projection is a defense mechanism that narcissists often use. It entails displacing one’s negative feelings onto someone else. Dhriti adds, “Narcissists believe they’re perfect. So, when they’re comforted with the truth about their flaws, it causes them distress. They then start accusing people around them of doing the same thing. For instance, if they’re jealous of someone, they might accuse the other person of being jealous of them and trying to sabotage them.” 

    Related Reading: A Rundown On What A Narcissist Does At The End Of A Relationship

    5. Lying

    Narcissists are master liars and often lie to make other people look like the ‘villains’ of their story, so as to make themselves look better in comparison. Dhriti explains, “Narcissists lie so convincingly that the person hearing their tales feels compelled to believe them and pity them.”

    So, now that we know about the methods employed by narcissists to gain control over others, you might be wondering how these control freaks react when they lose grip on their partners or their victim decides to fight back. Well, let’s look at a few such cases.

    11 Reactions You Can Expect When A Narcissist Realizes They Lost You

    So, how does a narcissist react when they can’t control you? Well, when a narcissist loses control over their victim, it’s like a child losing his toy. You see, narcissists love drama and they act up markedly when they can’t manipulate their victims. So, when you take control away from a narcissist, they feel they may have lost someone who probably stroked their ego. 

    This results in a loss of self-importance and can lead to very strong reactions from the narcissist. A simple answer to “How does a narcissist feel when you don’t beg and plead?” is that they can’t accept the harsh reality. And their behavior can be unpredictable. Being the center of their own universe, narcissists tend to project themselves as victims when their partners break free from their abuse.

    When you make a narcissist miserable by beating them at their own game, they might initially try and win you back, but eventually, they may display narcissistic rage and cut you off completely. Let’s look at 11 reactions that one can expect when a narcissist realizes they lost you: 

    Related Reading: 8 Signs Of Covert Narcissist Hoovering And How You Should Respond

    1. Baiting

    The first answer to “How does a narcissist react when they can’t control you?,” is that they will try their best to get a reaction out of you or get you to talk. Dhriti explains, “Most commonly, what works is anger. Narcissists will deliberately say or do things that make you mad. For instance, they can reach out to and bother your friends, in an effort to get to you, or say things to you that might trigger you.” 

    Baiting can also involve making a person feel scared, guilt-tripping, or falsely accusing them of something. A Reddit user, while talking about her narcissistic boyfriend whom she left, said, “He has tried to guilt me into talking to him by saying relatives have passed away or are sick.”

    2. Back to love bombing 

    When baiting doesn’t work, narcissists might start showering you with love, the same way they did in the initial days, but for all the wrong reasons. Dhriti explains, “This sudden love bombing may make you question your judgment of moving away from them because they’ll seem like this amazing person and make you feel great about yourself. In such cases, they might try to remind you of quality times you spent together in the past.” You might feel tempted to mend ways and make the relationship work. But remember, going back to a narcissist in such situations can be a huge mistake.

    3. False hopes of closure

    When you are too strong for a narcissist, sometimes, in a desperate attempt to get back control, they might pretend to offer you closure or a resolution. Dhriti explains, “They might ask to meet you somewhere or talk on call for closure, and then when the time comes, they might stand you up. When you call them back, they’ll deny ever making such plans and call you crazy. This is a form of narcissist gaslighting. A narcissist enjoys giving their partner false hope and loves to make them feel sad.”

    More on narcissimMore on narcissim

    4. Isolating you

    A prominent answer to “How does the narcissist react when he realizes you no longer care or when she discovers you’ve figured out her game?”, is that he might try and isolate you. When a narcissist’s fragile ego is wounded, they will try every manipulation tactic in a relationship, even to the extent of separating you from friends and family. 

    Dhriti adds, “A narcissist may call up your mutual friends and go around talking badly about you. They might start a whole smear campaign against you to try and turn your friends against you. They wish to create a situation wherein you have no one else but your narcissistic partner to turn to for emotional support.” So, what to do when a narcissist tries to control you this way? Well, don’t fall into the trap. Stay in touch with loved ones.

    Related Reading: How Not To Fall For A Narcissist And Suffer In Silence

    5. Intermittent reinforcement

    When you beat a narcissist at their own game, they might exploit that faint hope you may have somewhere in one corner of your mind. This is one tactic that makes leaving an abusive relationship extremely difficult for the victim. A term coined by psychologist B. F. Skinner, ‘intermittent reinforcement’ defines a situation wherein a person feels they have more to gain because they have been rewarded inconsistently. It’s like losing all your money at the casino because the one time you won made you squander away your savings later, as you hoped to win again.

    Dhriti says, “Intermittent reinforcement is essentially delivering a ‘reward’ at irregular times, so the person never knows when to anticipate a reward and continues the behavior. In such cases, a narcissist might suddenly acknowledge something you’ve been complaining about for a very long time and make promises to change.” This stage is where you should know how to take control away from a narcissist, by not giving in.

    6. Narcissistic injury

    Also known as narcissistic wound, narcissistic injury refers to the excessive sense of humiliation that a narcissist feels when they lose control over their victims or they feel they have been insulted. Dhriti adds, “It’s when their self-perception of being perfect is hurt because they realize that someone could leave them so easily. If you are dating a narcissist you would know this often makes them lash out and act in a vengeful manner.”

    Related Reading: Your Guide On How To Deal With An Angry Person In A Relationship

    7. Narcissistic rage

    Close on the heels of narcissistic injury is narcissistic rage. When a narcissist doesn’t get their way, they start throwing tantrums. At times, they may even react violently and try to get back at their victims for ignoring them or leaving them. Dhriti adds, “Their thought process is, “How dare you hurt me? I will hurt you more.” It can also manifest in the form of physical, mental, and emotional abuse.”

    8. Leaving before you leave them

    Another answer to “How does the narcissist react when he realizes you no longer care or she finds out you’re trying to leave them?,” is that they might leave you before you leave them. A narcissist will try and win you back as long as you feed their ego or respond to their efforts to get you back into the abusive relationship. The moment a narcissist gets the hint that you might leave them for good, they will be the first ones to break up. This satiates their ego. But what to do when a narcissist tries to control you is entirely up to you. Decide whether you wish to wait and watch or leave them right away.

    9. Ugly revelations

    While a narcissist is breaking up with you, they will try and give you a final blow. In the breakup conversation, they will try and cause you more pain in an effort to destroy your emotional well-being and self-esteem. That’s why it becomes important to know how to take control away from a narcissist by not reacting.

    Dhriti says, “If the narcissist did something nasty during the relationship which they hid from you, they’ll reveal that to you now. For instance, someone I know was breaking up with her boyfriend and he chose that exact moment, in the middle of her sentence, to tell her he had cheated on her. He wanted the power to hurt her more than she was hurting him.”

    Related Reading: 9 Expert Tips On How To Deal With A Narcissist Spouse

    10. Accusations

    When the narcissist realizes you are done, the final breakup conversation with them may also end up in them falsely accusing you of things you may not have done. Dhriti adds, “They may double down on their partner and start pointing out their flaws and attacking their self-esteem.” In this way, they can:

    • Divert attention from their own flaws
    • Put the victim in a defensive mode
    • Make excuses to hide their own wrongdoings
    Infographic on how a narcissist reacts when they can't control youInfographic on how a narcissist reacts when they can't control you
    This is how a narcissist reacts when they can’t control you

    11. No closure

    When a narcissist is finished with you and realizes they can’t extract any emotion out of you, they will end all contact abruptly. Such people don’t have any concern for their partner’s feelings. Remember, a narcissist will never stay friends after the breakup or give you a chance to get closure. Dhriti explains, “Once they realize they’re not going to get any admiration, validation, or emotional reaction from you, they’ll simply get rid of you.”

    Does Taking Power Away From A Narcissist Make Them Discard You?

    Now that you have the answer to: “How does a narcissist react when they can’t control you?,” let’s find out if a narcissist leaves you for good when they realize they have lost control over the relationship. Dhriti says, “A narcissist only wants to be around those who can emotionally validate them and not contest their self-perception of being perfect. If they don’t have the power over you, they can very well discard you, because they don’t see you as a person. They see you as a supply or some puppet who is only there to fulfill their needs.”

    Related Reading: The Narcissist Silent Treatment: What It Is And How To Respond

    But in case you’re wondering how to know if you’re about to be discarded by a narcissist, remember, there are always those subtle hints that come before the final stage of the narcissistic discard. Here are some signs to watch out for if you’re wondering if you’re about to be discarded by a narcissist:

    • No jealousy anymore
    • They flirt around or get into a new relationship
    • No love bombing
    • No hoovering or an attempt to get you back
    • Indifference in the relationship

    Narcissism is a toxic personality disorder that gnaws at a relationship bit by bit and destroys its very core. We hope we’ve been able to help you with a clear picture of what narcissistic control in a relationship looks like. We also hope you’re no longer wondering, “How does a narcissist react when they can’t control you?” You see when a narcissist knows he is losing or she is being outsmarted, the relationship will be at the receiving end of all their frustration and rage.

    Key Pointers

    • Narcissists are self-absorbed people with no empathy or concern for other people’s feelings and love controlling their partners
    • A Narcissist can employ several tactics to control you, such as gaslighting, playing the victim card, love bombing, and lying
    • Some of the glaring reactions of a narcissist when they start losing control over you are baiting, false hopes of closure, narcissistic rage, ugly revelations, and accusations
    • Taking power away from a narcissist will eventually lead them to discard you and cut off all ties. So, staying friends with a narcissistic partner isn’t an option

    Remember, even when you are too strong for a narcissist, breaking away from them may not always be easy. Moreover, emotions may be involved, especially if you’re in a long-term romantic relationship. So, you will feel hurt. But when the narcissist realizes you are done, you can be victimized furthermore, till they suck every ounce of energy out of you. 

    So, what’s more important is to realize your worth and make a clean break with a narcissist before their abuse damages you irreparably. It’s important to note that there’s no ‘we’ without ‘I’, and if the narcissistic control is getting too much for you, there’s no alternative to go separate ways to safeguard your mental health. There’s no point in dragging things that may never work. This is the golden rule of a relationship. So, let self-love take over and focus on your healing process. Believe in yourself and take the plunge.

    9 Things To Be Mindful Of When Arguing With A Narcissistic Husband

    How To Get Out Of A Controlling Relationship – 8 Ways To Break Free

    Exposing A Narcissist – What You Should Know

    Ask Our Expert

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  • Am I Overthinking Or Is He Losing Interest? 18 Signs To Help You Identify

    Am I Overthinking Or Is He Losing Interest? 18 Signs To Help You Identify

    “Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?” “Is he being distant or am I overthinking the situation?” If these questions are weighing on your mind, chances are you’re still not confident that the guy you’re with is into you or not. One of the incredible challenges of navigating the complex dance of human relationships is wondering if someone has lost interest or if we are just overanalyzing the situation.

    This happens when your significant other or romantic interest is not consistent in their behavior toward you. One day everything is cool, and the next day your guy suddenly distances himself. And you begin to wonder if it’s just a phase or if the spark is beginning to die. When you’re in a situation like this, insights into the implications of your partner’s behavior can help put your mind at ease.

    That’s exactly what we’re here to offer. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or the middle of a budding romance, this detailed rundown on signs he’s losing interest and signs you’re overthinking the situation will be a valuable tool for navigating the whirlwind of emotions you may be experiencing and determining whether it’s time for a heartfelt or just momentary talk for your mind to adjust the overactive gears.

    Is He Being Distant Or Am I Overthinking? 9 Signs You’re Overthinking

    Wondering, “Is he losing interest or just busy?” It’s not uncommon for doubts and insecurities to creep into an intimate relationship, causing us to wonder if our partner is indeed distant or if we’re just overestimating the situation, triggering unnecessary anxiety. So, before concentrating all your energies on figuring out how to know if he’s losing interest, pay attention to these 9 common signs that indicate you may be overthinking and overanalyzing the situation: 

    Related Reading: Is He Cheating Or Am I Paranoid? 11 Things To Think Over!

    1. Jumping to conclusions

    Is he being distant or am I overthinking? Whenever you find yourself wrestling with this dilemma, take a step back and look for signs a man is going through something. Maybe that’s why he’s being a bit distant. Just jumping to conclusions can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships.

    For example, interpreting a delayed response to a text message as a sure sign of dissatisfaction without considering other factors may indicate overthinking. It is important to give your partner the benefit of the doubt and practice open communication to clarify any concerns.

    2. Fixating on minor details

    Still asking yourself, “Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?” Overthinkers exaggerate the importance of details or statements, making small things seem more important or painful than they really are. This behavior can fuel conflict and damage relationships.

    For example, focusing on something your partner said during an argument can cause unnecessary stress. To prevent this tendency, learn to distinguish between the unnecessary and the important.

    3. Comparison of past relationships

    Do you often compare your current relationship with your past? If yes, then it could be a sign that you’re constantly overthinking. Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t go around looking for signs he’s no longer in love with you. Drawing from past experiences is natural, but having regular thoughts about it is a clear indication that it’s all in your head.

    4. Always seeking reassurance

    While it’s normal to seek reassurance from time to time in the early stages of a relationship, needing it all the time can mean you’re prone to overthink things. If you find yourself asking for reassurance every now and then, then there’s a good chance that you’re overthinking about your relationship and may be spotting signs he’s losing interest when there are none.

    Healthy relationships thrive on mutual trust and understanding, so it’s important to work toward building this foundation rather than spending your time agonizing over questions like, “Is he losing interest?”

    Related Reading: “My Anxiety Is Ruining My Relationship”: 6 Ways It Does And 5 Ways To Manage It

    5. Making assumptions about your partner’s thoughts

    Assuming you know your partner’s thoughts and feelings without having an honest conversation about your concerns is a common pitfall of overthinking things. Trying to figure out what others are thinking is a common overthinking behavior.

    If your overthinking mind is already trying to figure out how to know if he’s losing interest, chances are you may start interpreting even the most innocuous things as an indicator that he’s losing interest in you and your relationship is probably over. This tendency is frequently motivated by a desire to know or control how others perceive us, or to predict their reactions.

    is he being distant or am I overthinking
    If you are making insane assumptions about your partner, you are probably overthinking

    6. Infinite “what ifs”

    “Is he being distant or am I overthinking my interactions with him?” Yes, maybe you are. What if he leaves me? What if we break up soon? What if he is not the one? Constantly asking these questions to yourself is a clear sign of overthinking in a relationship and coming up with worst-case scenarios. You are clearly dealing with uncertainty in your relationship. These thoughts can have a significant impact on your emotional well-being and the dynamics of your relationship if they become a recurring pattern.

    7. Extreme text analysis

    Do you find yourself reading too much into messages instead of opting for direct, face-to-face conversations to clarify thoughts and feelings? Scouring text messages or online communications for hidden meanings is a common sign of overthinking. Written communication lacks tone and context, and is therefore prone to misinterpretation. It can be challenging to pinpoint signs he lost interest over text. 

    Related Reading: Relationship Doubts – 21 Questions To Ask Yourself To Clear Your Head

    8. Ignoring positive signs

    Are you ignoring all the positive aspects of your relationship because of a couple of hiccups lately? Has this led you to wonder, “Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?” Well, there is a good chance you’re overthinking the situation. Overthinking can create a negative outlook, causing you to focus only on the negative aspects of your relationship while ignoring the positive aspects of love and connection with your partner. 

    9. Physical symptoms of stress

    Has the thought, “Is he losing interest or just busy?”, left you reeling under stress and anxiety? If you find yourself being very anxious, having muscle tensions and even suffering from sleep depravity, all because of worrying about your relationship, then you’re overthinking the dynamics of your relationship way too much. Take a deep breath and relax. These physical signs act as a red flag that your mind is overworked. 

    What To Do If You’re Overthinking In A Relationship

    When people overthink in a relationship, it can lead to unnecessary stress, misunderstanding, and strain on the connection with their partner. Fortunately, there are constructive steps one can take to address and mitigate this issue. These steps will help you explore helpful strategies for overthinking in your relationship, read on! 

    • Acknowledgment: The first step to overcoming overthinking is to acknowledge its existence. Self-awareness is important. Reflect on your thoughts and actions to recognize when and how you are overthinking in your relationships
    • Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and observing your thoughts without thinking. When you find your mind racing with worries or intrusive thoughts, take a deep breath, immerse yourself in the moment, and stop imagining things. This will help you stay focused and avoid overthinking
    • Clear and honest communication: Instead of dwelling on thoughts like how to know if he’s losing interest or what the signs he’s losing interest over text or in real life are, have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Talk things out, talk about your problems, feelings, and uncertainties. Clear communication can provide clarity, remove doubt, and strengthen your communication
    • Set boundaries for self-care: Set boundaries to prioritize self-care and mental well-being. This may require setting aside time for relaxation, a hobby, or an activity that helps with your grief. Self-care not only improves your emotional health but also reduces overwhelming mental chaos
    • Turn your attention to your thoughts: If you catch yourself overthinking, divert your mental energy to productive activities. Engaging in hobbies, exercise, or work-related activities can help distract you from any anxious thoughts, and push you to make more positive effort for yourself
    • Focus on the present: “Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?” If you find yourself asking this question often, know that thinking about past mistakes or worrying about an uncertain future can trigger overthinking. Instead, focus on the present moment. Embrace the experiences and joys you share with your partner in the here and now, rather than being consumed by fantasy situations
    • Be grateful: Have a sense of appreciation for your relationship and the good things in your life. Acknowledge and appreciate the qualities you look for in your partner regularly. A grateful attitude can prevent overthinking by emphasizing the positives
    • Accept imperfection: Don’t stress about the other women in his life. Remember, no relationship is flawless, and imperfection is natural in human relationships. Accept that you and your partner have strengths and weaknesses

    Related Reading: How To Get Him Interested Again Fast – 18 Surefire Ways

    9 Clear Signs He Is Losing Interest

    There are certain signs to keep in mind when a partner loses interest in the relationship. Signs he is no longer interested in you may include decreased communication, emotional distance, and a lack of affection. 

    Early detection of these signs allows you to better navigate your relationship, giving you the chance to address issues, reignite the spark, or make decisions that are more in line with your emotional well-being. Read on if you’ve been wondering, “Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?”

    infographic on am i overthinking or is he losing interestinfographic on am i overthinking or is he losing interest
    If these are true, he might be losing interest

    1. Communication is rare

    One prominent sign of decreased interest is a significant decrease in communication. If your partner used to text, make phone calls, or message you frequently but now rarely initiates or responds to communication, it could be a sign that he is no longer emotionally investing in the relationship.

    Similarly, paying attention to his texting habits and communication patterns can help you identify the signs he lost interest over text. Some are listed below:

    • Slow response times: If he used to reply right away but suddenly takes a while now, it can indicate a drop in interest
    • Brief texts: If his texts are brief, it may be a sign that he is losing interest in the conversation
    • No initiation: If he stops posing questions or rarely introduces new subjects, it can indicate that they are less interested in having a conversation with you

    Related Reading: 18 Compelling Signs You Should Not Break Up, Even If You Feel So

    2. Lack of quality time

    Boyfriend doesn’t initiate plans anymore? Has he started to cancel plans with you? Lack of quality time together can be one of the telltale signs of losing interest in a relationship. If he frequently cancels plans, avoids future commitments, keeps making excuses, or seems unhappy in your company, it means he is no longer excited about the relationship.

    3. Emotional distance

    Emotional intimacy is the stepping stone to a healthy relationship. If he no longer pays attention to you emotionally, stops sharing his thoughts and feelings, or seems unconcerned about your emotional well-being, this could indicate a lack of interest in the relationship. 

    4. Changes in communication style

    If you’ve been trying to figure out how to know if he’s losing interest, watch for any changes in communication style. If he used to be open and expressive but now evades or avoids talking about the future of the relationship, it could be a sign that he is not as invested as he used to be.

    Related Reading: In Love With An Emotionally Unavailable Man? 10 Tips To Connect With Him

    5. Lack of affection

    A simple, intimate eye contact goes a long way. Lack of physical intimacy or affection, such as hugging, kissing, or holding hands, can indicate a lack of emotional connection. If he was previously in love and is now withdrawn, this could indicate that he is not genuinely interested and is avoiding physical contact.

    6. Being less involved in your life

    Lack of involvement is one of the major signs of losing interest in a relationship. When someone loses interest, they are less involved in your life. If you feel like your partner no longer knows what’s going on in your life and your mind, it could mean that he quietly taking a step back and the relationship is falling apart.

    7. Increased anger or frustration

    Thinking about how to know if he’s losing interest? One of the most obvious signs he is losing interest is when he is moody and angry all the time for no apparent reason. A dissatisfied partner can easily become angry or frustrated with you. Minor disputes that were previously resolved amicably can escalate into more significant conflicts. This can bring you to a point where all you do is fight, bicker, and argue. These are all telltale indicators that the way your partner feels about you has changed.

    Related Reading: 20 Simple Ways To Make A Guy Miss You

    8. New priorities

    If he not only does not initiate contact and dodges questions about his lack of availability but also chooses to prioritize other activities, friends, or other commitments over spending time with you, it could be a sign that no longer he values ​​the relationship as much as he used to.

    9. Avoiding planning for the future

    No longer making plans for the long haul? Avoiding planning for the future or discussing long-term goals together is one of the most obvious signs the spark is gone. Often, a partner who is invested in the relationship will want to make plans for the future and include you in those plans.

    Complicated RelationshipComplicated Relationship

    What To Do When He Is No Longer Interested In You

    Wondering about what to do when he is no longer interested? The pain of realizing that someone you care about so much doesn’t like you can be an emotionally taxing experience. This is when it feels like your world is falling apart, leaving you with outpourings of emotion and deep denial. Whether you were in a long-term relationship or dating in the beginning, feeling unwanted or unwanted can be incredibly painful. Here are some tips to help you:

    Related Reading: 10 Things To Do When You Are Drifting Apart In Your Relationship

    • Process emotions: Allow yourself to feel your own emotions. It’s entirely normal to feel hurt, confused, and even angry when you realize your partner is losing interest
    • Avoid making assumptions: “Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?”, you may ask yourself often. While it may seem obvious that your partner is losing interest, it’s crucial to avoid jumping to conclusions without discussing the situation with him
    • Active listening: Allowing your partner to share their perspective and feelings without interruption is vital for making sense of the situation. Keep your ears open, maintain eye contact, and let them speak their heart out to you
    • Seek clarity: During the conversation, seek clarity on why your partner is losing interest. Avoid becoming defensive or argumentative. The goal is to gain a better idea of what is going on
    • Evaluate the relationship: Take time to reflect on the overall health of the relationship. Consider whether it has met your needs and whether it has been mutually supportive and respectful. After all, there’s a difference between busy and not interested
    • Respect their decision: If your partner confirms their disinterest and expresses a desire to end the relationship, it’s essential to respect their decision, even if it’s painful. Avoid trying to convince him to stay or begging for love
    • Self-care and support: Don’t just start dating right away, prioritize self-care during this challenging time. Engage in activities that bring you comfort and joy, whether it’s spending time with friends and family, practicing a hobby, or engaging in relaxation techniques. Seek emotional support from a trusted best friend or consider speaking with a therapist or counselor to help you navigate your emotions
    • Time and healing: Spend time alone. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve. It’s normal to have a waking moment of sadness, anger, or confusion but these feelings will gradually subside with time
    • Future reflection: Be cautious about rushing into a new committed relationship until you feel emotionally ready. Take time to focus on your personal growth and well-being
    • Closure and Moving Forward: Still confused about what to do when he is no longer interested? Seek closure and try to be on the same page with your partner, whether through a final conversation with your ex-partner or through personal reflection and acceptance. Eventually, when you’re ready, open yourself to the possibility of a new, deeper relationship

    Key Pointers

    • Comprehending complicated emotions and vulnerabilities in relationships can be difficult, leaving you wondering whether your partner is losing interest or you’re reading too much into the situation
    • If you’re jumping to conclusions, fixating on minor details, or making assumptions, chances are you’re simply overthinking things
    • However, if your partner acts distant, does not want to engage with you, and you feel like you’re no longer in sync, it could mean they’re, in fact, losing interest
    • In either situation, practicing self-care, focusing on your own emotions, and seeking the right help and support can help you deal with reality more effectively

    We hope these 18 signs have offered you clarity and an answer to “Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?” If you’re overthinking things, inculcating self-awareness can go a long way in preventing you from ruining a perfectly good relationship on account of your latent fears and insecurities. On the other hand, if your partner is, in fact, losing interest, focusing on self-discovery, self-care, and healing is the best way of dealing with this painful experience.

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  • Is Flirting Cheating? 9 Reasons It Is And 7 Ways It Can Harm Your Relationship

    Is Flirting Cheating? 9 Reasons It Is And 7 Ways It Can Harm Your Relationship

    In my relationships, the boundaries regarding interacting with the opposite sex have always been a source of heartache and confusion. Even after we set boundaries, we still end up hurting each other once in a while. I’ve learned that setting boundaries does not mean the end of difficult questions for each other, like: “Is flirting cheating in a relationship for you?”

    In the realm of romantic relationships, the boundary between innocent behavior and insensitive flirting is often blurry. Flirting often starts with a playful exchange of words or subtle gestures, and has long been a controversial subject in the world of dating and commitment. Is it simply “innocent flirting” or is flirting a form of cheating?

    The dynamics of modern relationships are evolving, with technology and changing societal norms adding new dimensions to the concept of fidelity. To help you make sense of this emotional minefield, we’ll explore nine compelling reasons that we should consider flirting a form of cheating and seven ways it can harm a monogamous relationship.

    Is Flirting Considered Cheating? 9 Reasons It Is

    Before committing to a partner, plan conversations regarding boundaries and discuss what is considered cheating by them. Flirting, a practice often viewed as harmless, can ignite passionate debates among couples seeking to understand where the line is drawn. The fact is that fidelity is a cornerstone of trust and commitment in a monogamous relationship, which is why flirting while in a relationship is highly disrespectful. After all, people flirt to signal sexual interest, so at the very least, it’s a warning sign.

    On whether or not flirting constitutes cheating, one Reddit user says, “I think it falls under emotional cheating. Even if it’s a “joke”… it signals a deeper issue. Why would your partner want to give that kind of attention to someone other than you? I’d be livid and immediately lose a lot of trust. The severity of the offense obviously depends on the context, content, and intent. It’s probably not automatically relationship-ending, but it’s absolutely indicative of the need for loooonnngggg conversations (possibly mediated by a therapist) about the relationship, trust, and boundaries.”

    Related Reading: 10 Telltale Signs You Are Not Ready For A Serious, Committed Relationship

    What about this: Is flirting considered cheating in the virtual world? Interestingly, studies have found that flirting in a virtual reality setting – with a virtual partner, not a real person – is effective in “inoculating” people from the desire to seek out real-life alternatives. A promising development for people who struggle to remain faithful.

    So, when does flirting cross the line into the sure label of cheating? Let’s explore nine reasons to support this position. I hope it helps you examine the motivations and consequences of your actions.

    1. Flirting is a form of emotional infidelity

    Is flirting cheating if there is no physical contact? It could be. Emotional infidelity is a breach of trust within a romantic relationship that doesn’t involve physical cheating. It occurs when one partner develops a deep emotional connection with someone outside the relationship, typically in a way that’s reserved for their primary partner. This is one reason that flirting while in a relationship is highly disrespectful.

    While emotional infidelity is more serious, flirting may be a lighter or more casual form of emotional cheating. You may not be sharing intimate details about yourself with this new person but your innocent flirtation does have sexual overtones. If having sex with someone else is cheating, then flirting can be considered micro-cheating. In fact, one study defines infidelity as “behavior that is not condoned by one’s romantic partner, occurs outside of the primary relationship, and can be described, such as intercourse, flirting, etc.” This is why flirting counts as emotional cheating.

    Related Reading: Can A Relationship Survive Cheating? 7 Factors That Determine The Outcome

    2. It involves deception and secrecy

    is flirting considered cheating
    Flirting with someone else crosses a boundary with your current partner

    When is flirting considered cheating? Flirting most often happens in secrecy. Even when other people are around, one of the thrills of flirting lies in the fact that no one else knows what’s happening right in front of them. And then there’s flirting at work while in a relationship, which is even more secretive. But this secrecy is a violation of your partner’s trust and messes with their head even if it is super casual and there is truly no infidelity, emotional or physical. Another reason that flirting while in a relationship is highly disrespectful.

    And how does harmless flirting constitute emotional cheating? Deception and secrecy chip away at the foundation of a healthy relationship causing it to erode over time. In fact, a study has found that deception can go into other areas of the relationship, such as finances. A consistent pattern of deception and secrecy can create strain and discord within the relationship. When your partner realizes you’ve been keeping things from them, this betrayal can be emotionally devastating.

    Related Reading: When Is Texting Cheating? 11 Different Scenarios And How To Deal

    3. Flirting indicates attraction

    Is flirting considered cheating even if there is no physical contact? Whether or not you are in a committed relationship, the intention behind flirting is to get someone to feel attracted toward you. So, seen through this lens, an intent to attract others while in a committed relationship or even just entertaining others while in a relationship are acts of infidelity. To behave amorously with someone besides your primary partner amounts to cheating. A person flirting with someone might do so with any of these intentions:

    • External validation: Flirting with serious intent to attract others often stems from a need for validation, beyond what one receives within the primary partnership. Seeking attention from others can provide a sense of desirability and self-worth
    • Escapism: For some, flirting offers an escape from the routine or challenges of their committed relationship. It can be a way to experience the thrill of something new and different, creating a sense of excitement or novelty that might be missing in their everyday life
    • Ego boost: Flirting can serve as an ego boost. Compliments and expressions of interest from others can temporarily elevate self-esteem. The person may not otherwise receive this confidence boost from their partner or from themselves

    Related Reading: The 7 Stages Of Emotional Affairs: Reasons And Tips To Recover

    4. It can escalate to full-blown cheating

    Even harmless flirting has sexual overtones a lot of times. So, is flirting cheating in a relationship? Yes, because if left unchecked, it could progress into the following scenarios:

    • Even though it begins with light, playful banter or harmless compliments, over time, these interactions can intensify feelings of attraction and desire for the other person
    • This makes it more challenging to maintain clear boundaries with them
    • As flirtation deepens, it can foster an emotional connection with the other person
    • Emotional bonds are often precursors to more intimate involvement, as individuals start to share personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences
    • Additionally, hedonic responses in the brain are very difficult to resist. What begins as harmless flirting may lead to crossing established boundaries within the primary relationship. This can involve sharing too much private information, even about your partner or conflicts, or engaging in provocative discussions
    • When does flirting cross the line? When harmless flirting eventually becomes something decidedly less harmless — physical intimacy

    5. It causes jealousy and insecurity

    Is flirting cheating when there is intent to attract others? Yes, if the intent is just to make your partner jealous, you’re definitely betraying them. Insecurity and jealousy in a relationship are emotional reactions that can be triggered within a romantic relationship when one partner engages in flirtatious behavior or when there’s a perception that the boundaries of the relationship are being tested.

    This also includes when a partner allows others to flirt with them, even if they don’t flirt back. As one Reddit user puts it, “My boyfriend is an extremely nice guy … Given this, a lot of women he meets through sports and work flirt and show romantic interest in him despite knowing he’s in a relationship.

    In some cases, they do it right in front of me and say nasty things behind my back while pretending to be nice and fun in front of my boyfriend. Chalk this up to insecurity, but it is growing so frustrating because of the sheer lack of respect these women have for our relationship and it’s turning me into someone I’m not (always having my guard up and being nervous when he’s around women).”

    6. You fall into the comparison trap

    Comparisons in a committed relationship often cause feelings of insecurity. It can be triggered when one partner flirts with someone else, especially when the affected partner is already going through a tough time. Such open acts of insensitivity can strain the relationship. The partner who feels compared to others may become resentful, feeling that they can never live up to the idealized image their partner holds of others. You’re basically cheating your partner of stability in the relationship.

    7. It diminishes emotional connection

    A strong emotional connection relies on effective communication. When one or both partners engage in flirtatious behavior and withhold information or emotions, the flow of open communication can become strained. This can lead to misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and unresolved issues.

    The emotional energy that should be directed toward nurturing the relationship might be getting redirected to others. This emotional investment in external relationships can lead to neglect of the primary partnership. So, if you’re asking yourself, “Is flirting cheating?”, think about the effect your flirting has on the intimacy with your partner.

    Related Reading: The 8 Commandants Of Open Communication In A Relationship

    8. Flirting breaks down trust

    A partner flirting with others could cause an erosion of trust, especially if their flirting is a habit. A significant breakdown of trust can have long-lasting consequences:

    • Telling the affected partner that it’s “just innocent flirting” invalidates their feelings and constitutes a form of gaslighting
    • It can lead to emotional detachment, chronic suspicion, and, in severe cases, the dissolution of the relationship
    • The partner who feels betrayed will not be able to trust their partner’s one truth among the many lies

    It’s crucial to address this issue and discuss boundaries before the trust between the two of you is completely gone. Rebuilding trust in a relationship takes time and effort from both partners. It involves gentle, transparent communication, setting and respecting boundaries, addressing the underlying issues that led to the breakdown, and demonstrating consistent reliability and honesty.

    Related Reading: 11 Common Reasons People Cheat In Relationships

    9. It violates relationship agreements

    Relationship agreements can encompass a wide range of rules and boundaries, depending on the specific needs and preferences of the individuals involved. Common agreements include guidelines related to monogamy, exclusivity, conversations with others, and boundaries for social or physical interaction outside the relationship.

    Ignoring or breaching your partner’s boundaries by flirting while in a committed relationship is a violation of relationship rules. This violation directly impacts trust, leading to a loss of relationship satisfaction that can be challenging to repair. You wouldn’t be so ready to breach a work agreement, so why disrespect a relationship agreement by flirting at work while in a relationship? Or by hitting on a new friend whose intentions your partner warned you about?

    on cheatingon cheating

    7 Ways Flirting While In A Relationship Can Be Harmful

    How can flirting hurt your partner? According to research, flirting while in a committed relationship can have several harmful consequences, impacting the relationship’s dynamics and the well-being and mental health of both partners. The study says, “Interacting online with attractive strangers provides the extra push needed to pursue short-term pleasures rather than the long-term goal of relationship maintenance.”

    Here are seven ways it can be detrimental when flirting crosses the line:

    1. Emotional distance

    Entertaining others while in a relationship can lead to emotional distance between partners. When one person engages in flirtatious behavior, it can create a sense of emotional detachment, making it challenging to maintain the closeness necessary for a strong and fulfilling relationship.

    2. Resentment and hurt

    The partner who feels hurt or betrayed by the flirtatious behavior may harbor feelings of resentment and hurt. These hurt feelings can linger and create a rift in the relationship that requires time and effort to heal.

    Related Reading: 6 Cheaters Tell Us How They Feel About Themselves

    3. Communication breakdown

    Flirting can lead to a breakdown in open and honest communication. Partners may become less inclined to share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns due to fear of judgment or previous conflicts related to flirtatious behavior.

    4. Strained intimacy

    Emotional and physical intimacy can be significantly strained by flirtation. The person engaging in flirtatious behavior may invest emotional energy outside the relationship, leaving their partner feeling emotionally neglected and physically or sexually distant.

    5. Distrust of intentions

    Flirting often results in the partner becoming suspicious of the flirtatious individual’s intentions. This lack of trust can extend beyond the specific situation, causing ongoing distrust in the relationship.

    6. Impact on self-esteem

    The partner who feels compared to or threatened by the other person may experience a decrease in self-esteem and self-worth. This comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, or a lack of perceived attractiveness, which can negatively impact their mental health.

    Related Reading: 12 Signs Your Partner Is Guilty Of Snapchat Cheating And How To Catch Them

    7. Potential for further infidelity

    The flirtatious behavior may escalate and lead to more serious forms of infidelity, such as emotional affairs or physical affairs. These actions can have profound consequences for the relationship, resulting in a more significant breach of trust and emotional harm.

    Key Pointers

    • Is flirting cheating? Flirting can indeed be considered a form of cheating within a committed relationship and can have detrimental emotional and physical consequences
    • Flirting can harm a relationship in many ways. It can create emotional distance and resentment and can lead to a communication breakdown
    • This kind of micro-cheating can result in erosion of trust, heightened jealousy and insecurity, as well as straining of the emotional connection
    • Awareness of the implications of flirtatious behavior, open communication about different boundaries, and prioritization of the emotional well-being of the relationship ensures its strength and longevity

    To sum it up, regardless of whether flirting is deemed as infidelity, the damage it can inflict upon a devoted relationship is clear. Flirting has the potential to breed distrust, create emotional gaps, and sow seeds of resentment, all of which can undermine the core strength of a thriving partnership. Open and honest communication, trust-building, and mutual respect stand as indispensable tools in preserving the vigor of any relationship. So, is flirting considered cheating? It’s up to you to discuss boundaries with your partner and decide for yourselves.

    How To Apologize For Cheating – 11 Expert Tips

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    How To Tell If Your Partner Is Lying About Cheating?

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  • 13 Distinctive Traits Of Female Narcissists Revealed

    13 Distinctive Traits Of Female Narcissists Revealed

    In 2023, news about Lilith, who goes by toxiccwaste0 on TikTok, went viral when she admitted to having female narcissist traits, which included skillfully manipulating people in the past. She was formally diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder in 2021 but now describes herself as a “reformed narcissist.”

    Narcissism is a collective term for people with a personality disorder called Narcissistic Personality Disorder – NPD. According to Dhriti Bhavsar, counselor, MSc. in Clinical Psychology, “Some of the identifiers of a narcissist woman are a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, preoccupation with fantasies of success, brilliance, beauty etc. and interpersonally exploitative behavior.” Simply put, the definition of a narcissist woman, in the context of this article, would be a woman who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder – NPD.

    Learning about female narcissist traits is important, especially if you are in a relationship with a narcissistic woman. Many of the traits, especially in the milder cases, are similar to cases of Borderline Personality Disorder. They can be so subtle that differentiating between the two disorders can be quite challenging, even for a mental health professional.

    What Is Female Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

    The incidence of NPD seems less in the case of women. In the narcissistic female, the symptoms will be less severe, making detection difficult. As to how to identify a narcissist woman, certain obvious narcissist traits in females can help with that. “This may be due to the over-representation of males in research and literature,” according to Dhriti. “Women are likely to show vulnerable narcissism or covert female narcissist traits. These could manifest in traits such as shyness, hypersensitivity, and apparent low self-esteem.” 

    Statistics show that only 4.8% of females will develop NPD as against 7.7% of their male counterparts. Explicit traits of a self-involved female will depend upon a range of factors depending on the type of narcissism. Both men and women narcissists share several common traits. Despite the widely held belief that more men are narcissistic than women, a study shows that there has been no systematic review to establish the magnitude and stability over time of this gender difference.

    Some of the different types of Narcissistic Personality Disorder are:

    Related Reading: 13 Signs Of A Vulnerable Narcissist In Relationships And How To Deal With One

    • Overt narcissist (grandiose narcissist): More common among male narcissists, grandiose narcissism is characterized by grandiose behavior and entitlement
    • Covert narcissist (vulnerable narcissist): Covert female narcissist traits present as shy, reserved, and insecure
    • Communal narcissist: One who appears to be very giving and selfless with their time and money, always using charity as a means to promote their image
    • Malignant narcissist: One who combines the traits of NPD with Antisocial Personality Disorder and can exhibit a dangerous lack of empathy while preying on others
    • Healthy narcissist: As characterized by some professionals, they tend to exhibit high self-esteem along with other NPD traits, but these do not seem to cause problems for them (these are especially challenging to diagnose)
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    Some studies indicate that narcissist traits in females might be more of the covert or communal type, while overt and grandiose narcissism is higher in the case of male narcissists. In female narcissism, the differences may be attributed to gender roles. A study shows that as compared to male narcissists, female narcissist traits include:

    • Less severe traits that characterize NPD 
    • Less grandiose and entitled behavior 
    • Lower levels of physical aggressiveness 
    • Greater empathy levels
    • Greater emotional sensitivity

    These traits tend to make it more difficult to make a diagnosis, so female narcissists have a greater chance of being misdiagnosed.

    Related Reading: Exposing A Narcissist – What You Should Know

    13 Female Narcissist Traits You Should Know About 

    It is important to know how to identify a narcissist woman. She tends to exhibit covert female narcissist traits. A study shows that she tends to be less impulsive and entitled in her behavior while also being more empathetic than her male counterparts. A narcissist woman will also tend to have certain distinctive traits, such as being constantly fixated on their appearance and a greater tendency toward jealousy and envy. 

    Dhriti adds, “They come across as more needy to garner more attention and sympathy from people around them. They are usually less aggressive and entitled than male narcissists but yes, they do tend to be a little more empathetic.” 

    Here are 13 narcissistic traits that are common among female narcissists. An aging female narcissist may exhibit an increase or a decrease in these traits depending on her age and mental health access.

    1. They are extremely self-centered and self-absorbed 

    Being self-centered or self-absorbed is a primary narcissistic trait of those with narcissistic personality disorder. Just like a male narcissist, a female narcissist has an inflated sense of self and will go on endlessly about herself and her life without paying any heed to others. 

    • Female narcissists will not ask how others are doing  
    • Attempts to change the subject of a conversation will be met with disinterest while they will quickly bring the subject back to themselves 
    • They like to talk about their real and imagined accomplishments, and can be quite egotistical
    • Intimacy with them can make you think that everything is about them

    2. A narcissistic woman will rarely apologize or admit fault

    Female narcissists will never admit to being wrong and will never apologize. They will, instead, attempt to blame other people for anything that goes wrong rather than take responsibility for their words or deeds. 

    A female narcissist will:

    • Twist the situation by deflecting blame onto someone else
    • Not care about the effect it could have on that person
    • Be extremely manipulative 

    3. Narcissistic women can be extremely petty

    An inability to look at the bigger picture makes them extremely petty and nitpicky. Often, a narcissistic woman will get stuck on small things that seem irrelevant in an attempt to lay blame elsewhere. A female narcissist can obsess over the smallest of slights. The obsessiveness can lead to deep resentments that may compel her to seek revenge. The tendency to fixate on perceived wrongdoings is at the root of their petty and jealous nature and makes them come across as extremely bitter people. 

    Related Reading: How Saying Hurtful Things In A Relationship Affects It

    4. Narcissistic females can be obsessed with image and social status

    While a common trait of both men and women with NPD can be a shallow and superficial nature, this trait manifests as being overly materialistic in narcissistic women. As a result: 

    • Female narcissists are high-maintenance women, overly concerned with brand names and other status symbols that reflect wealth
    • They are also obsessed with physical appearance, image, social standing, and social media
    Infographic on traits of a narcissistic woman
    You should know about these narcissistic traits of a woman

    5. Self-absorbed women with this disorder are usually addicted to social media

    The self-absorbed trait of a narcissist is exhibited differently in females than in males. Here’s how it manifests in women:

    • Female narcissists are more wrapped up in their social media accounts and constantly post selfies while publicly documenting every aspect of their lives
    • All this in an attempt to get more likes and followers online
    • Their involvement in their online persona is so complete that they may have trouble distinguishing between their virtual and real selves
    • They would rather be on their phones than spend time with their friends or partners allowing their relationships to suffer from this neglect

    6. Narcissist women are experts at exploiting others

    An exploitative nature is one of the most prominent female narcissist traits in relationships. Lilith, the TikTok user who was diagnosed with NPD, said in one of the videos, “Everything that I said or did was planned and thought out to get reactions and to get people to do certain things… So I pushed people to really bad places… so that I could have more control over them.” Clearly, female narcissists are adept at exploiting others for their personal gain. 

    In this trait, they are no different from their male counterparts. However, female narcissists will use manipulative tactics that are different from the ones used by men. For example, studies show that they will use manipulative and passive-aggressive behaviors in their exploitative attempts more often than men. The emotional and psychological toll that is extracted from their victims is the same. These include a sense of shame, feelings of helplessness, and emotional flashbacks. Chronic cases may even experience symptoms similar to PTSD.

    7. Women with NPD are extremely vain

    Both male narcissists and female narcissists are extremely vain, but in the case of the female narcissist, this usually translates into a huge fixation on their physical appearance. The obsessiveness with their appearance shows up like this:

    • They are extremely sensitive to any comments directed at their appearance, weight, and attractiveness
    • The most innocuous of comments can be misconstrued as criticism, making them fly off the handle
    • The obsessiveness with appearance can result in excesses such as extreme dietary habits and excessive cosmetic surgery

    8. A narcissistic woman will use her sexuality to manipulate

    Dhriti says, “A narcissistic woman will use sexually coercive tactics such as seduction and threatening to leave. Conversely, men prefer to use a more physically coercive approach to achieve their ends.” If you are dating a narcissist, you would be able to relate to these female narcissist traits in relationships: 

    • Using their sex appeal to manipulate others to their own ends
    • Wearing revealing clothes and using a lot of makeup to enhance their sexuality
    • Sexual seduction, also known as “sexual narcissism.” It is a part of their armory and is used to manipulate others 
    • Involvement with people who can help or support them in their endeavors – A kind of parasitic sexual relationship

    Related Reading: No Contact With A Narcissist – 7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

    9. Female narcissist traits: Appearing shy and reserved

    Female narcissists are often of the covert narcissist type. This means they tend to differ from the typical narcissist in their outward behavior. 

    • They tend not to be too grandiose, entitled, and arrogant but instead present as shy and withdrawn individuals who are insecure 
    • This insecurity and low self-esteem are usually present in combination with other narcissistic traits that indicate covert narcissism
    • The shy and reserved nature of the female narcissist may seem at odds with their vanity and constant need for approval 
    • This is why they may tend to avoid large gatherings and prefer smaller and more intimate ones with people they are familiar with

    10. Narcissistic women can be super-sensitive

    The female narcissist tends to be more emotional than her male counterpart and is a lot more sensitive to comments with a tendency to overreact.  

    • Female narcissists frequently misconstrue what’s been said as they take everything personally, imagining slights where none were intended 
    • This over-sensitive, self-centered nature and low self-esteem cause them to be easily offended and hurt
    • Their reactive nature makes them prone to lashing out at others
    • Female narcissists also tend to be more moody and emotional and can suddenly withdraw into themselves when upset

    11. They can be clingy and overly dependent

    Female narcissists exhibit very clingy and dependent traits in their romantic and other relationships. Dhriti says, “They overly invest in relationships and tend to see their partner as an accessory. The low self-esteem of a female narcissist will make her constantly seek out praise and reassurance from those around her. Without this praise and reassurance, she may become moody, withdrawn, and reactive. She will try to remain in control by understanding the partner’s psychology.”

    More on narcissimMore on narcissim

    12. Narcissist women are usually manipulative

    Research has shown that female narcissists are more likely to use manipulative tactics such as passive-aggressive behavior to manipulate others to further their own selfish agenda. This is unlike the male narcissist, who tends to be more physically aggressive. 

    They also frequently play the victim by trying to appear helpless and vulnerable. This trait is commonly used at the beginning of a relationship, serving as a way to lure someone in. Female narcissists also play the victim card to get someone to do things for them. This common trait of the female narcissist probably has some linkage with traditional gender stereotypes. 

    Other common manipulative and passive-aggressive tactics employed by the female narcissist would include:

    • Guilt-tripping
    • Going behind someone’s back
    • Giving them the silent treatment
    • Gossiping
    • Using gaslighting phrases
    • Spreading false rumors

    All of these can be just as harmful to the victim as physical aggression, which is why these forms of abuse have been termed narcissistic abuse. 

    Related Reading: A Rundown On What A Narcissist Does At The End Of A Relationship

    13. Their relationships tend to be short-lived

    An individual’s overall level of functioning is a useful gauge of the severity of their narcissism. A female narcissist with a higher level of NPD will tend to have shorter and more unstable relationships in their personal and professional lives. This inability to form stable relationships can translate into many outward manifestations. Female narcissists may:

    • Be unable to hold down a job for long periods
    • Have trouble developing and maintaining intimate relationships and lasting friendships
    • Have trouble taking care of their financial affairs

    All of these narcissistic traits in this personality disorder do not have to be present for a woman to be considered a narcissist. These traits can be present in a female narcissist in various combinations and with varying intensities.  

    Also, the aging female narcissist may exhibit an increased level of narcissism, with some experts attributing this increased narcissism to a sense of entitlement that comes with age. The combination and intensities will help an MHP diagnose the type of narcissism presented and its position on the spectrum of NPD. 

    6 Tips To Deal With Narcissist Women

    Dealing with a narcissistic woman is not an easy feat and can be stressful at the best of times. Whether she is a family member, a partner, or a female friend, a relationship with a woman with such a personality disorder can turn out to be quite a toxic experience. Learning to deal with such a personality while also safeguarding your health, especially if you have mental health issues, can be quite challenging. 

    Here are a few tips to help you deal with a narcissistic woman. In fact, they can help you deal with both male and female narcissists.

    1. Get to know her behavioral patterns

    Dhriti suggests, “Learn more about NPD. This will help you understand the tactics and behavioral patterns a female narcissist uses to manipulate and maintain control. These will include tactics such as playing the victim, trying to induce a guilt trip, and gaslighting. Pay attention to these, as it can help you identify the patterns of a narcissistic relationship and avoid falling for them. Keeping a diary of these occurrences can help, but make sure you keep the diary locked away safely.”

    2. Set boundaries and enforce them with narcissist women

    This may prove to be difficult if you are in a relationship with a narcissist, but it is all the more essential then. Boundaries will help lay down what is acceptable and what is not in the relationship, something that will help you avoid narcissistic abuse. Dhriti says, “It is essential to learn to speak up when someone does something uncomfortable. By setting healthy boundaries, you will protect yourself from becoming a target of their manipulative efforts.”

    3. Focus on building your self-esteem

    Dhriti suggests that you focus on building up your self-esteem and self-worth. This is because both male and female narcissists usually prey on people with low self-esteem, as they tend to be easier to manipulate. Engaging in positive self-talk and practicing positive affirmations, while avoiding negatives in your statements can help you achieve that. 

    4. Avoid validation and criticism 

    Don’t feed a female narcissist’s need for gratification. Cut off this narcissistic supply of paying too much attention to their every statement or need. Doing this may only serve to make you a victim of narcissistic abuse. At the same time, avoid criticizing or saying anything that could be perceived as a threat, as they are highly sensitive creatures. 

    Dhriti adds, “Narcissistic females are often very preoccupied with their personal appearance and are more prone to fits of jealousy and envy.” The narcissistic woman may lash out and seek revenge when her self-image is threatened. It is also important to note that they are extremely competitive individuals, so avoid getting into a competitive situation with one as you may be perceived as a threat.

    Related Reading: 21 Stages Of A Narcissistic Relationship With An Empath

    5. Don’t lose your temper

    Dealing with a narcissistic woman is a difficult task and requires a lot of patience on your part. Do not lose your temper, as that will cede control to her, something you want to avoid. Losing your temper tells her where your buttons are. She will use this knowledge to her advantage in the future and manipulate you to her advantage.

    definition of a narcissist womandefinition of a narcissist woman
    The more you lose your temper, the more she will know exactly how to manipulate you to get her ways

    6. Seeking help can become important if you want to deal effectively with a narcissistic woman

    If you feel that your mental health is being affected by your relationship with a narcissistic woman or that you are being subjected to narcissistic abuse, then you should seriously consider getting help from a mental health professional. Some of the signs you should look for, indicating you need help, include:

    • You begin to lose your self-esteem
    • You feel depressed
    • You begin to doubt yourself
    • You begin to experience mood swings and emotional volatility
    • You feel anxious a lot of the time
    • You are having problems with trust
    • You are increasingly stressed

    Related Reading: How To Make A Narcissist Miserable — 13 Things To Do

    Look for a professional who is experienced in dealing with personality disorders, preferably with narcissism. This will ensure that you get the best help. Just so you know, skilled and licensed counselors on Bonobology’s panel are always here for you. A mental health expert can help you to:

    • Become knowledgeable about NPD and narcissistic traits
    • Learn to set boundaries
    • Learn effective communication skills
    • Learn how to cope with a narcissist specifically
    • Learn how to increase your self-esteem

    Key Pointers

    • Self-centeredness, shallowness, and vanity are some of the common traits of a female narcissist
    • As you get to know them, other traits will also be apparent — Pettiness, hypersensitivity to any criticism, and manipulative tactics are some of the common ones
    • If you are in a relationship with a female narcissist, you must learn how to handle these traits effectively
    • This can be done by learning to communicate, setting personal boundaries with narcissistic women, and asking for help if needed

    A narcissistic woman can be difficult to spot as her narcissistic traits are not as easily apparent as a male narcissist. There are, however, certain common traits of narcissistic women – Although of a lower intensity than men. They are obsessed with image and usually addicted to social media as it feeds their narcissistic supply. They exploit people using their sexuality and other tools. Narcissistic women are super sensitive to criticism and can be overly clingy and dependent. 

    Because of these behaviors, their relationships tend to be short-lived. Once you recognize the traits of a female narcissist and identify their manipulative tactics, you can avoid playing into their hands and protect yourself. Be sure to seek professional help if you feel that your mental health is being affected.

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    Empath Vs Narcissist – The Toxic Relationship Between An Empath And A Narcissist

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  • 13 Glaring Red Flags Before Moving In Together You Should Never Ignore

    13 Glaring Red Flags Before Moving In Together You Should Never Ignore

    I’ve been living with my partner for a couple of years. So a friend sat me down recently, and said earnestly and completely out of the blue, “Okay, tell me all the red flags for moving in with a partner. When is it appropriate to move in together? Be honest.” This is how I got to know the good news about her and her boyfriend. But it was clear that, for now, she was more interested in knowing about the possible red flags before moving in together with the one she loved.

    I get why she was scared. After all, moving in with a partner, in many ways, is a litmus test for the strength and compatibility of your long-term relationship. It’s a significant milestone, signaling a deeper commitment and shared life journey. Before taking the leap and moving in with your partner, it’s essential to make sure you’re both on the same page. Today, we’ll explore the 13 red flags you shouldn’t ignore while taking this exciting step toward a new living situation.

    What Are The Red Flags For Moving In With A Partner? 13 Signs You Cannot Ignore

    Moving in with a partner can be both exhilarating and daunting. The juncture signifies the merging of two lives, shared responsibilities, and a long-term commitment. While the idea of sharing your living space with a romantic partner can be exciting, it’s crucial to be aware of potential challenges and pitfalls that might emerge from this decision. To ensure this journey is a smooth one, it’s imperative to recognize and address potential red flags before moving in together. After all, you wouldn’t want to discover red flags AFTER moving in together and having co-signed a lease.

    Consider having a trial run for a month or so to see if it’s a good idea. A study confirms this: “Among cohabiters, about a quarter (23%) say wanting to test their relationship was a major reason why they decided to move in with their partner.” In this section, we will delve into 13 unmistakable signs you’re not ready to move in together. Because once the honeymoon phase is over, reality can hit hard.

    Related Reading: How To Watch Out For The Relationship Red Flags — Expert Tells You

    1. You have mismatched goals and expectations

    One of the most critical red flags before moving in together is the presence of mismatched goals and expectations. In the context of a healthy relationship, this issue extends far beyond mere differences in career objectives or housing preferences. It delves into the very core of your long-term compatibility.

    Even with open communication in your new living situation, it can be hard to accurately gauge other’s expectations. Here are some red flags you need to be aware of to successfully navigate this phase:

    • Career aspirations, if mismatched, can place a considerable strain on a relationship
    • Differing expectations about family planning
    • A mismatch in lifestyle choices which encompasses spending habits and leisure activities, to dietary choices and health and fitness priorities
    • Housing and location preferences can be significant sources of contention too

    The key to addressing this red flag is open and honest communication. Before moving in together, ensure that you’ve discussed your individual goals and expectations and made sure you’re on the same page. It’s essential to reach a mutual understanding or compromise on these matters to avoid potential conflicts in the future. Remember that a strong and lasting relationship is built on shared values and a vision for the future that aligns with both partners’ aspirations.

    Related Reading: The 8 Commandants Of Open Communication In A Relationship

    2. Poor communication doesn’t bode well for a partnership

    Poor communication often leads to emotional detachment between partners. When you’re unable to express your thoughts, feelings, or concerns openly and honestly, it can create a divide between you two. Unspoken worries or unexpressed affections can breed resentment, frustration, and a sense of being misunderstood. In a shared living space, emotional distance can become more pronounced, as there’s no escape from the underlying tension.

    Here are some suggestions — More like a moving-in-together checklist:

    • Why are we moving in together?
    • What are our long-term goals as a couple?
    • How will we approach financial planning and credit scores?
    • What are our expectations for household chores and responsibilities?
    • What are our personal boundaries and space needs?
    • How do we approach conflict resolution?

    This is not an exhaustive list by any means but these are some questions to ask before moving in together to align expectations and help you both make informed decisions about cohabitation. Remember that the key to a successful shared living arrangement is ongoing communication, mutual respect, and flexibility as you adapt to your new life together.

    Moving in together can be an exciting experience — so exciting that you miss all the red flags

    3. Financial incompatibility is a red flag between partners even if they don’t live together

    Financial incompatibility is one of the biggest red flags before moving in together. It’s a complex issue that extends far beyond just sharing expenses; it touches on your values, habits, and attitudes toward money. A study shows that 38% of participants moved in with their partner because it made sense for them financially. Imagine if they don’t talk about financial boundaries and limits before moving in. Here are two possible scenarios in that case:

    • Varied spending habits: This can be a significant source of tension. If one partner is a spender while the other is good at saving money, it can lead to continuous disagreements about how money is allocated and spent. These differences can create a cycle of frustration and financial instability
    • Substantial income disparities: This can create an unbalanced power dynamic within the relationship. The partner with the higher income may unknowingly hold more influence over financial decisions, which can lead to feelings of inequality and resentment. The partner with the lower income will also have to think hard about an exit strategy

    Financial incompatibility doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker, but it does require respect, compromise, and a willingness to work together to find common ground. It is one of the most important things to discuss before moving in together because financial stability becomes more important when you’re in a relationship.

    Related Reading: 5 Ways To Overcome Financial Stress In Relationships

    4. Things to discuss before moving in together: Unresolved conflicts

    Unresolved conflicts within a tumultuous relationship are like hidden landmines, waiting to detonate at any moment. When considering the prospect of moving in with your partner, any lingering dispute is a red flag that should never be ignored.

    Repressed issues often breed resentment. Addressing them before moving in together is essential. Seek to understand each other’s perspectives, compromise where necessary, and work together to find constructive solutions. If you’re unable to do any of this, it’s one of the clearest signs you’re not ready to move in together.

    5. Lack of personal space is a no-no

    The need for personal space is a fundamental aspect of our individuality and well-being. When the prospect of moving in together with your partner is on the horizon, the absence of personal space can be a glaring red flag that should not be underestimated.

    For instance, one partner’s love bombing is a sign that the personal space of the other will be affected severely. That’s one of the red flags after moving in together. Dealing with each other’s friends visiting is also a discussion that needs to happen. Let’s explore the nuances and implications of this issue:

    Related Reading: How To Differentiate Between Love Bombing And Genuine Care

    • Emotional strain: When you feel that your partner is always present or hovering, it can lead to a sense of suffocation
    • Independence and autonomy: A lack of your own space can make you feel as though your sense of self is diminishing
    • Impact on communication: If you don’t have time to reflect, gather your thoughts, or enjoy quiet moments alone, it can hinder your ability to engage in meaningful, constructive conversations with your partner
    • Escalation of conflict: The inability to retreat to your personal space when conflicts arise can lead to more heated and emotional disagreements
    • Impact on intimacy: An absence of alone time can make you feel like you’re constantly in each other’s company, potentially leading to a loss of anticipation and desire for closeness

    Addressing the lack of personal space is crucial before moving in together. It’s essential to communicate openly with your partner about such needs and boundaries. Leaving this unaddressed could be one of the signs you’re not ready to move in together.

    more on live in relationships

    6. If you move in with trust issues, you’ll move out with a heartbreak

    Trust issues often lead to emotional distance. If you or your partner doubts the other’s fidelity or intentions, it can create a barrier, making it difficult to connect on a deep, intimate level. Moving in together while feeling emotionally distant can be challenging and may create an isolating environment for you both to live in.

    Trust issues can manifest as feelings of insecurity and jealousy. These emotions can become overwhelming and create ongoing tension within your relationship. A partner who feels continually scrutinized or distrusted may become defensive, leading to further strain.

    This is why addressing trust issues is a vital step before moving in together. Open, honest, and empathetic communication is key to a healthy relationship. Rebuilding trust may take time, though. And it might require the assistance of a professional, such as a therapist or counselor, to navigate the intricacies of the issues.

    7. What are the red flags for moving in with a partner? Different levels of cleanliness

    According to a Reddit user, “Living together shows very quickly if the person you are sharing space with is responsible, if they think of others, if they’re lazy, if they are willfully ignorant of the work it takes to maintain space and the basics of life. How do they care for themselves and others? Do they cook? Clean? Do laundry? Scrub toilets? Do they pick up after themselves? Wash dishes? Do they order food daily? Do they have a plan or do they just drift?”

    So true! When considering moving in together, one often overlooked yet significant red flag can be differing levels of cleanliness between you and your partner. This seemingly mundane issue can have profound implications for your daily life and relationship. For instance, your partner’s eating habits on a date could be vastly different from what they are at home. This is a great example of discovering red flags after moving in together. Here’s a closer look at the consequences of this red flag:

    • Compromised comfort: If cleanliness standards clash, it can lead to a feeling of discomfort and unease in your own living space, which is detrimental to your overall well-being
    • Potential health risks: If hygiene practices are not aligned, it can lead to an unhealthy living environment and potentially affect your well-being
    • Impact on time and energy: Differences in cleanliness standards can also impact the distribution of time and energy spent on housekeeping tasks

    To address different levels of cleanliness, it’s essential to have open conversations about your expectations, habits, and needs regarding household maintenance. Ensure you’re on the same page and establish compromises that work for both partners.

    Related Reading: Sharing Household Chores And Responsibilities Equally In Marriage

    8. Disagreements over handling chores and responsibilities

    The same Reddit user from above has more to say on the topic: “I would recommend getting a roommate for the year and seeing how he lives and if you’re really compatible. When you live together, you need to set expectations and responsibilities from day one. An imbalance of chores/responsibilities will get old fast. The one that benefits from ignoring the workload will be very reluctant to change.”

    Dealing with household chores and responsibilities is often underestimated but regular friction while cohabitating with a partner. The division of household tasks can significantly impact the harmony of your living situation and your relationship. An uneven distribution of chores, especially based on gender roles, can lead to feelings of inequality and resentment. Miscommunication regarding chores can lead to disagreements. The presence of a structured system for managing household tasks can bypass a chaotic and stressful living environment, making it easier to relax and enjoy your shared space.

    red flags before moving in together
    Household chores are a common source of conflict in relationships

    9. Question to ask before moving in together: How do you handle unhealthy jealousy?

    Jealousy is a complex emotion that can either be a normal, fleeting reaction or develop into an unhealthy, persistent force within a relationship. When considering moving in together, unhealthy jealousy is a red flag that demands your attention. Here are some ways unhealthy jealousy can cause long-lasting relationship problems:

    • Eroding trust: Unhealthy jealousy erodes trust, which is fundamental in any relationship
    • Controlling behavior: One partner may attempt to limit the other’s interactions, monitor their actions, or demand constant reassurance, which can be stifling
    • Emotional strain: Living under the shadow of jealousy can be emotionally draining
    • Isolation: Unhealthy jealousy can lead to isolation from friends and family, as one partner may attempt to limit the other’s social interactions, or the affected partner feels too embarrassed to admit to their loved ones that their relationship doesn’t feel safe to them anymore
    • Escalation of conflict: Jealousy often escalates conflicts and disagreements that could have been resolved more peacefully otherwise

    Try out some trust-building exercises to help the jealous partner build confidence and self-esteem. If necessary, seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor to work through jealousy-related issues and foster a healthy, trusting, and loving cohabitation experience.

    Related Reading: 11 Signs You Are Dealing With An Unhealthily Jealous Partner

    10. If there’s a lack of individual growth already, don’t move in with your partner

    The absence of opportunities for individual growth within a relationship is one of the most important red flags before moving in together. While a partnership should be supportive and nurturing, it should also allow for personal development. When a relationship doesn’t allow room for individual growth:

    • It leads to stagnation
    • It can damage self-esteem
    • It can foster emotional or financial dependence on the other partner, creating a power imbalance

    Identify the areas where you both feel limited in your personal development and work together to create an environment that encourages growth and self-expression. Encourage and support each other’s individual pursuits, whether they be career goals, hobbies, or personal interests. This should be one of the things to discuss before moving in together.

    11. Resisting conflict resolution is one of the most glaring signs you’re not ready to move in together

    When one or both partners resist conflict resolution in a relationship, it can lead to unresolved issues and ongoing tensions. This red flag, especially when contemplating moving in together, deserves close attention. Issues that remain unaddressed can fester and grow. Living together under such circumstances can sometimes become the only reason for a stressful and unpleasant home environment.

    Both partners must commit to fostering effective conflict resolution strategies. This may involve developing better active listening skills, practicing empathy, and seeking professional guidance if necessary.

    12. Rushing Into cohabitation is never the answer

    How soon is too soon to move in together? Are you sure you’re at the right life stage for a decision like this? If you’re rushing into it after the third date or if it’s still the early stages of a new relationship, it’s definitely a bad idea. But realistically, it can be hard to tell whether or not it’s too soon. Hasty decision-making can lead to unexpected challenges and regrets, such as:

    • Lack of preparedness: Rushing into cohabitation without adequate planning and discussion can lead to unanticipated issues and conflicts
    • Unrealistic expectations: Moving in together with haste often involves romanticized ideals, which can lead to unrealistic expectations and ultimately, disappointment
    • Lack of communication: Rushing into cohabitation can bypass important conversations about shared responsibilities, finances, conflict resolution styles, and individual boundaries, which can result in misunderstandings
    • Increased stress: The process of moving and merging lives can be stressful in itself. Rushing into this process can amplify the stress, making it even more overwhelming
    • Lack of a solid foundation: A strong relationship should be built on a solid foundation of trust, understanding, and mutual respect. Rushing into cohabitation can circumvent the process of establishing this foundation

    Rushing to move in together can happen as a result of love bombing, so be wary of that. If you’re not sure, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. If you’ve started dating recently, it is definitely not a good idea. Take advice from trusted family members, friends, or a therapist.

    Related Reading: 8 Signs You Are Rushing Into A Relationship And 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t

    13. Lack of individual supportive networks is bound to backfire in a live-in relationship

    Before moving in together with your partner, it’s essential to consider the availability of supportive networks. These can include friends and family who provide emotional, practical, and social support. The absence of such networks is a red flag that should not be underestimated. These individuals/groups also play a big role in your exit strategy, should you need one.

    A lack of safe spaces can lead to emotional isolation. Moving in together often brings changes and challenges. When you lack external emotional support, it can make the process more emotionally taxing, causing feelings of loneliness and vulnerability. Here’s what you should do instead:

    • Encourage each other to nurture existing friendships
    • Build new connections
    • Engage in social activities and seek out opportunities to create supportive relationships outside of the partnership

    By strengthening your individual networks, you not only enhance your well-being but also foster a healthier, more resilient relationship.

    When Is It Appropriate To Move In Together?

    Determining the right time to move in with your partner should be marked by thoughtful consideration. Assess various factors such as the stability and depth of your relationship, your individual and shared goals, and your emotional preparedness.

    So, when is it appropriate to move in together? The appropriate time to move in together differs for each couple, but it often aligns when both partners feel secure in their commitment, have communicated openly about expectations, and have addressed potential challenges. As a start, you can take this “should we move in together” quiz to find out where you stand.

    As this Reddit user says, “My BF moved in with me when we had only been dating for 2 months, and today we’ve lived together for 7 years and happily married. What is too early for some might not be for others. If you’re meant to be, it doesn’t matter when you move in together. That being said, if you don’t feel ready for the next step, don’t do it just yet. Follow your gut.”

    This study has found that your reason for moving in together also plays a role. It says, “Spending more time together and convenience were the most strongly endorsed reasons (to be in a live-in relationship).” Gender differences make an appearance too, and the study says that men were more likely to move in with their partner to test their relationship. While women were more likely than their partners to cohabitate out of convenience.

    The readiness to live together often stems from mutual respect, shared values, and a sense of partnership that sets a solid foundation for a successful relationship. If you and your partner feel comfortable with the idea of living together after talking through these 13 points, it is a good sign for your future together.

    Key Pointers

    • This article highlights several red flags before moving in together, including financial incompatibility, trust issues, emotional connection, and a lack of personal space
    • It emphasizes the importance of green flags like open communication and conflict resolution skills for a successful living arrangement
    • We explore the significance of fostering individual growth, building supportive networks, and moving in together at the right time to ensure a fulfilling cohabitation experience
    • Reflect on these red flags, engage in honest discussions, and establish a strong foundation for a harmonious shared life

    In conclusion, the decision to move in together with your partner is a significant milestone in any relationship. Have a trial run if you can. When should you move in together? When you spend time with your partner to address these potential red flags, fostering open communication and nurturing personal growth. If you do this, it is a great sign that you can embark on this journey with confidence, ensuring a romantic and fulfilling cohabitation experience.

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  • Understanding The Dynamics Of Short-Term Relationships

    Understanding The Dynamics Of Short-Term Relationships

    A friend, who’s knee-deep in the dating scene, told me recently that she’s been meeting up with many guys who only have short-term relationships. It’s perfect because she’s not ready for a serious relationship either. If you, too, are thinking of going on a date with someone who’s not looking to commit long-term, you need to understand the unique characteristics and challenges of a short-term relationship.

    Recognizing the difference between short-term and long-term relationships is vital too. According to research, “At some point, romantic interest tends to plateau and decline in short-term relationships, while in long-term relationships, it continues to ascend and reaches a higher peak.”

    Short-term relationships typically refer to the romantic or intimate relationships between two people that are not ‘intended’ to be long-lasting. Effective communication from the very beginning is crucial if you’re having a temporary relationship, though. Because while short-term relationships are typically less emotionally intense than long-term ones, a strong emotional connection can still develop.

    For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our YouTube Channel.

    What Is A Short-Term Relationship?

    Inherently time-limited, short-term relationships tend to prioritize the present moment rather than long-term planning. People have fun, explore shared interests, and experience intimacy without the pressure of building a future together. This is why, before diving into the complex emotions of short-term fun, you need to make sure that your potential partner is up for it.

    These dynamics are very different from a friends-with-benefits situation. Here, you have a say in each other’s love lives as long as you’re with each other. It’s not a one-night stand either — The short period we’ve been referring to can’t be ‘that’ tiny. So how long is a short-term relationship? Short relationships vary in length as they could go on for weeks or a few months, maybe even a year.

    Some of the basic characteristics of short-term relationships are:

    • Limited duration
    • Casual nature, but not necessarily
    • Limited emotional investment and intimacy
    • Lack of future planning
    • Focus on enjoyment
    • Less expectations
    • May be a monogamous or polyamorous setting

    This short-term fun can take various forms, such as casual dating, flings, or situations where both individuals are aware that the connection is not meant to be permanent (e.g., one of them has to leave the country in a few months). People engage in casual relationships for various reasons, including physical intimacy, exploring their own desires and preferences, seeking companionship or physical intimacy without a long-term partnership, or simply enjoying the present moment without planning for a future together.

    It’s important to note that not all relationships are strictly categorized as either short-term or long-term, because some may start as temporary but evolve into long-term commitments, given the time frame and if both parties decide to continue and deepen their connection. This requires both the partners to be fully committed.

    Related Reading: How To Connect With Your Partner On A Deeper Level – Expert Helps

    What Are The Benefits Of Short-Term Dating?

    Defining the benefits of a short-term relationship, a Quora user said, “The pros of a short-term relationship: No commitment! Do what you want, leave if you don’t like it. You are only there as long as it benefits you in the short-term, and if you ever change your mind, don’t like it anymore, find someone better, you are not tied to anything.”

    Short-lived connections can offer many benefits depending on an individual’s goals, preferences, and circumstances. So either go for gals and guys who only have short-term relationships, or clear your intentions to your partner beforehand. You don’t wanna be a heartbreaker, do you? Here are some potential advantages of engaging in temporary relationships:

    1. Exploration and self-discovery

    Short-term dating allows individuals to explore different types of relationships and discover what they are looking for in a partner. It can help people better understand their own preferences, desires, relationship style, and boundaries in romantic relationships. Each short-term relationship can serve as a valuable learning experience.

    2. Having a short-term relationship gives you flexibility

    Such ephemeral relationships provide flexibility in terms of commitment and time allocation. Here are the benefits:

    • They allow individuals to enjoy companionship, intimacy, and dating experiences without the pressure of a long-term commitment or the need to plan for a shared future
    • Some individuals may not be ready or interested in a long-term commitment at a particular point in their lives owing to lack of emotional space for commitment
    • A short-lived romance allows them to date without too many expectations and make their daily schedules without feeling guilty or pressured by their partner

    Related Reading: Expectations In Relationships: The Right Way To Manage Them

    3. Emotional and personal growth

    Short-term dating can contribute to emotional growth and resilience. It allows individuals to navigate the complexities of relationships, handle breakups, and develop emotional maturity.

    how long is a short-term relationship
    Personal and emotional growth should always be a priority.

    4. Variety and enjoyment are guaranteed

    Short relationships can offer variety and excitement in one’s dating life. Meeting different people and having diverse experiences can be enjoyable and fulfilling. But for a great experience, try to spend time with your partner, communicate, and most importantly, have safe sex.

    Related Reading: 11 Types Of Casual Relationships That Exist

    5. Reduced pressure adds to the short-term fun

    Long-term relationships come with their share of stress and challenges. A few benefits of a brief romance:

    • A temporary dating period can help individuals avoid some of the stress associated with maintaining a lasting partnership in front of family and friends as well as in their own lives
    • Short-term dating involves less pressure to meet evolving compatibility needs of a partner
    • This can lead to a more relaxed and enjoyable dating experience

    6. Easier management of time and energy

    Short-term dating can be a practical choice for people with busy schedules or other priorities. It allows them to manage their time and energy more efficiently. It can be a good choice for people who want to prioritize their personal goals, career, education, or other aspects of their life without the demands of a long-term relationship.

    Related Reading: 5 Brutally Honest Truths About Long-Term Relationships

    It’s important to note that the benefits of short-term dating can vary from person to person, and what may be advantageous for one individual may not be the same for another. Ultimately, the key is to be clear and honest with oneself and potential partners about one’s intentions and expectations in order to ensure a positive and respectful dating experience for all parties involved. However, before entering into a short-term dating situation, there are certain things you should know.

    How To Know If A Short-Term Relationship Is Right For You?

    Having a successful short-term relationship and to determine whether it is right for you involves self-reflection and considering your own goals, preferences, and circumstances. A Quora user suggested that the best way to gauge if a short-term partnership is right for you is to try it out. They said, “One way to find out is to explore and discover. This is what happens in a short-term relationship. Initially, the relationship may meet some short-term needs and desires. Over time other needs and desires may not be getting met and the relationship fizzles. So onto the next one.”

    Short-term dating requires both the partners to be on the same page. Here are some steps to help you assess if a short-term relationship aligns with your needs:

    • Introspect on your personal goals
      Ask yourself what you are looking for in a relationship at this stage in your life. Are you seeking companionship, casual dating, physical intimacy, or a serious, long-term commitment in the form of either monogamy or polyamory? Consider your short-term and long-term goals in both your personal life and career. How does a relationship fit into your overall life plan?

    Related Reading: 9 Polyamorous Relationship Rules According To An Expert

    • Reflect on your emotional readiness
      Assess your emotional readiness for a short-term relationship. Are you comfortable with the idea of a non-committal connection, or do you have a strong desire for a long-lasting partnership? Consider your past experiences with relationships. Have you had positive or negative experiences with a transitory dating period in the past?
    • Communicate your intentions
      Be clear about your intentions and expectations when you start dating someone. Transparency is crucial in ensuring both you and your potential partner are on the same page regarding frequency of meet-ups, expectations regarding calls and messages, interactions with social circle, etc. Work on ways to improve communication.
    short term relationshipshort term relationship
    One should always be clear of their intentions and communicate their needs and wants properly.
    • Ask yourself why you’re seeking a short relationship
      Be honest about what you genuinely want and need in a relationship, even if it differs from societal expectations or what others may desire. Avoid entering a short-term relationship if it’s not aligned with your true desires, as it can lead to dissatisfaction and emotional turmoil.
    • Evaluate compatibility
      Assess whether you and your potential partner share compatible goals and preferences. If one person is looking for a short-term relationship while the other desires a long-term partner, it will lead to complications.

    Related Reading: 15 Signs Of Relationship Compatibility Between You And Your Partner

    • Evaluate the timing
      Consider whether your current life circumstances and responsibilities allow for a short-term relationship. Are there any major life changes or commitments that could affect your ability to date casually?
    • Seek support and advice
      Discuss your thoughts and concerns with trusted friends, family members, or a therapist. They can offer valuable insights and perspectives on your situation. Should you need it, skilled and experienced counselors on Bonobology’s panel are here for you.
    • Monitor your feelings throughout the relationship
      Pay attention to your emotions as the relationship progresses. If you find yourself developing strong feelings and attachment, consider whether continuing a short-term relationship is still the right choice for you.
    • Reassess as needed
      Periodically reevaluate your relationship and your own feelings. If your goals or feelings change, it’s important to communicate openly with your partner and make adjustments accordingly.

    Ultimately, what is right for you in terms of a relationship will depend on your individual needs and circumstances. It’s essential to prioritize open communication, honesty, and self-awareness when deciding whether a short-term relationship aligns with your desires and goals. Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all answer, and your relationship preferences may evolve over time.

    How To Have A Successful Short-Term Relationship?

    A successful short-term relationship, like any relationship, requires certain considerations and practices to ensure that both you and your partner have a positive and fulfilling experience. One of the challenges in having a temporary relationship is the potential for mismatched expectations. If one person seeks a casual fling while the other hopes for something more serious, it can lead to difficulties and misunderstandings. One of the best ways to find a suitable short-term partner is taking the help of a dating app and writing a clear-cut bio. Here are some tips for having a successful short-term relationship:

    1. Define expectations clearly

    From the outset, communicate openly with your partner about your intentions and expectations. Be clear about the nature of the relationship and whether it’s intended to be short-term or casual. If you’re not sure about what you want, tell them. Let them decide if they still wish to be with you.

    Related Reading: 12 Realistic Expectations In A Relationship

    2. Choose a compatible partner

    Select a partner who shares similar goals and desires for a short-term relationship. Compatibility in terms of values, interests, and lifestyle can contribute to a more enjoyable experience. Do not go for someone who wants lifelong commitment, and then try to convince them of the wonders of short-term partnerships.

    3. Practice safe and consensual intimacy

    If your short-term relationship involves physical intimacy, prioritize safe and consensual practices. Communicate openly about sexual health, use protection if needed, and respect each other’s boundaries and consent.

    4. Communicate effectively

    Maintain open and honest communication throughout the relationship. Discuss any concerns, feelings, or changes in expectations as they arise. Effective and regular communication can prevent misunderstandings and potential conflicts. Don’t assume, and don’t think they’ll read your mind. Talk it out. You can also try some couples communication exercises.

    5. Set boundaries

    Establish clear boundaries to ensure that both you and your partner feel comfortable and respected. Discuss boundaries related to communication, physical intimacy, and emotional involvement.

    Related Reading: How To Set Dating Boundaries Early In Your Relationship

    6. Be present in the moment

    Embrace the present moment and enjoy the time you spend together without placing excessive focus on the future. Short-term relationships are often about enjoying each other’s company in the here and now.

    having a temporary relationshiphaving a temporary relationship
    You should try to stay in the moment and enjoy the time you’re having.

    7. Avoid unrealistic expectations

    Recognize that short-term relationship breakup is inevitable, and it’s important not to expect it to turn into a long-term commitment. Unrealistic expectations can lead to heartbreak.

    8. Learn from the experience

    Reflect on what you’ve learned from this brief relationship. Consider how it has contributed to your personal growth and understanding of your own desires and needs.

    9. Be honest about your feelings

    If your feelings change during the course of the short-term relationship, be honest with yourself and your partner. If the relationship is no longer fulfilling or aligned with your desires, communicate respectfully and consider ending it amicably.

    Related Reading: How To End A Relationship On Good Terms

    10. Be respectful and considerate

    Treat your partner with respect and consideration, just as you would in any relationship. Respect their boundaries, feelings, and autonomy.

    on dating tips and moreon dating tips and more

    11. End things on good terms

    If the time comes to end the short-term relationship, do so respectfully and with kindness. Ending on good terms can help both you and your partner move forward positively.

    12. Practice self-care

    Take care and prioritize self-care and well-being. Continue pursuing your personal goals, hobbies, and interests outside of the relationship.

    Key Pointers

    • A short-term relationship is often used to describe a romantic or personal connection between two individuals that lasts only a short while and is not meant to last forever
    • How long is a short-term relationship? That’s up to you both. Short-term relationships are by their very nature time-limited and favor the ‘here and now’ above long-term planning
    • One of the major benefits of a short-term relationship is that both the partners don’t have to give commitment promises. They can end the relationship once they feel like it’s not working out
    • In order to ensure that you and your partner have a happy and meaningful experience, successful short-term relationships, like other relationships, require specific considerations and practices

    Remember that the definition of a successful short-term relationship may vary from person to person. What matters most is that both you and your partner have a positive and respectful experience that aligns with your intentions and expectations. Communication and mutual respect are key factors in achieving success in any type of relationship, regardless of its duration.

    FAQs

    1. Are short-term relationships worth it?

    It is a good option if someone is still exploring their interests and both the partners are willing to give it a shot. A short-term relationship breakup should be pre-decided at some point, if possible, so that it doesn’t cause emotional harm to anyone.

    2. How long is the ‘short-term’ in a relationship?

    It is up to your partner and you to decide. However, it usually lasts from a few months to a year. But if both partners agree to it, they can take it even further. It is possible to end it within a few weeks too, if either of the partners feels like the relationship no longer aligns with their lives anymore.

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  • 11 Ways To Deal With A Sexually Demanding Husband

    11 Ways To Deal With A Sexually Demanding Husband

    “My husband is a very horny person and he wants sex all the time.” That is how a Reddit user begins her long rant on her husband who wants sex “regardless of her energy.” Someone in the comment section says, “He needs to grow up (…),” but we are sure you want a better solution than that to figure out how to deal with a sexually demanding husband.

    Sexual incompatibility is extremely common and can reflect in your relationship in various ways. Is your husband asking for too much sex? Or is he asking for sex of a different kind? Are your kinks incompatible? If you often say to yourself, “My husband feels entitled to my body,” you are pointing to a different problem: a complete lack of respect and consent.

    The solution to these issues is neither easy nor straightforward, but we will try to cover as many of them as possible. Regardless, we want you to know that this is not a unique, unsolvable mystery of a problem and that you are not alone. Let us take this head on, one question at a time.

    Is It Normal For A Man To Want Sex Every Day?

    As per a YouGov survey, which had a sample size of around 1000 individuals (half of whom were males), 5% of males ‘had’ sex every day, while 18% ‘wanted to have’ sex every day. What is also interesting is that 3% of women too ‘had’ sex every day and 9% ‘wanted to have’ sex every day. The survey clearly indicates that wanting to have sex every day is not rare at all. A guy may want sex every day, especially if he is young and has a high sex drive. In fact, many factors can affect a person’s sex drive. They are:

    • Age: The younger the person, the higher their sex drive
    • Hormones: Increased testosterone levels cause high libido
    • Mental and physical health: Exercise and a good diet affect libido positively, while sleep deprivation, anxiety, and depression, do the opposite
    • Emotional health: A man may crave sex both as a distraction from stress and anxiety, i.e., for stress relief, as well as as a medium for a connection with a partner and to express love

    These factors could also be driving your husband’s high sex drive, in which case it’s completely normal. However, what is important here is the question, “How does the sex drive seem to affect him?” Does his libido make him dysfunctional in any way, interfering with his daily life? Is he constantly pestering you to have sex, taking it personally if he doesn’t get his way? Does he not respect your sexual boundaries? If yes, then your husband’s hyperactive sex drive might be a problem.

    Related Reading: Sexual Compatibility – Meaning, Importance And Signs

    Why do men want sex so often?

    Even though the frequency of sexual desire varies widely among individuals of any gender, it’s easy to make this broad generalization that men want more sex. There are certain factors that contribute to this perception. Let us have a look at them:

    • Biological factors: The hormone testosterone fuels sex drive. Men have a remarkably higher average level of testosterone than women
    • The evolutionary perspective: There is an assumption that men are driven by the desire to spread their genes
    • Social and cultural factors: Men may behave in response to the notions propagated by society as to what is the ‘normal’ and ‘expected’ behavior of a ‘man’
    • Peer pressure: A man might actively be at the receiving end of peer pressure from his immediate social circle, which could be shaping his sexual demands

    It’s crucial to recognize that men, like women, are diverse in their desires, needs, and motivations. Assuming that all men want sex frequently oversimplifies the complexity of human sexuality. It’s also important to communicate openly and honestly with partners about sexual desires and expectations to ensure a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.

    What sexual expectations in marriage are normal?

    A study on normal sexual frequency states having sex once a week is enough and that ‘more’ may not always mean better. Another study, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, says the average American adult has sex 53 times each year, or a little more than once per week.

    However, sexual desires and preferences will vary from person to person, which is why it is neither right nor accurate to generalize a number to find out the right sexual expectations in marriage. Just because these studies say that once a week should be enough, it doesn’t make your partner crazy for feeling horny every two days.

    Do you keep wondering, “How many times do married couples make love?” or “How often do happy couples have sex?” These are not easy questions to answer. A happy, healthy marriage may have nothing to do with the number of times a couple has sex. Marital crisis arises when one partner needs sex more often than the other, making the ‘demander’ feel rejected for wanting sex and not receiving it and the ‘rejector’ feeling guilty that they may not be providing their partner enough physical pleasure and feeling scared that it may cause the unsatisfied partner to leave them or cheat.

    Therefore, it might be helpful to avoid focusing on what is ‘normal’. What is not normal is for couples to have no recourse to this agony of a mismatch in their sexual expectations. We advise that you stop focusing on what level of sexual expectations in marriage is ‘normal’, and instead work toward creating a healthy open channel of communication with your partner and finding the right number that works for you. But how? We will come to that very soon.

    Related Reading: 7 Common Sex Problems Newlyweds Face And Should Know How To Deal With

    Signs You Have A Sexually Demanding Husband

    At this stage, you might be doubting if your partner is behaving normally. You might also be wondering if this is only a case of mismatched libidos or you have on your hand what one should call a ‘sexually demanding husband’. There are some signs that can guide you toward the right conclusion. Recognizing signs of heightened sexual interest can allow you to take the right steps to resolve any misunderstandings, help you establish clear boundaries, and facilitate discussions around mutual satisfaction and fulfillment to build a healthy relationship.

    You must keep in mind that some of these signs are not lone indicators that your husband’s sexual desire is unreasonable. These signs work in combination with other signs for a more accurate conclusion:

    husband wants more than I can give
    Your husband’s sexual expectations may be pressuring you into feeling guilt-ridden
    • Initiating sex frequently: Your spouse frequently initiates sexual activities or conversations about them. This indicates a higher level of interest in sexual intimacy
    • Persistent arousal: There are signs of physical arousal and you just can not ignore them. Frequent erections or prolonged periods of being sexually aroused may suggest heightened sexual needs. He may also indulge in frequent self-stimulation or masturbation as he seeks an outlet for his needs
    • Suggestive language: He uses explicit and suggestive language. This may be in private or public settings, revealing his increased focus in sexual matters and his desire for physical intimacy. He may regularly be engaging in conversations or discussions revolving around sexual topics, preferences, and fantasies, signaling a high libido and demand
    • You feel the pressure for experimentation: If your sexually demanding husband consistently expresses a strong interest in trying new sexual positions, fantasies, or experiences, it may cause you to feel the pressure to indulge him sexually more than you would if left to your own desires. He may not just be interested in increased frequency but also in variety
    • High focus on physical attraction over emotional connection: A sexually demanding guy will place a strong emphasis on physical appearance and attractiveness, than on emotional connection. He will compliment or comment on your looks much more regularly than focus on your emotional bond and the values you two share
    • Unilateral decision-making in intimacy-related matters: Making unilateral decisions about sexual activity, without considering your feelings or preferences, may indicate a disregard for mutual consent and an increased focus on his personal sex life
    • Expressing sexual frustration through aggression: If your partner shows aggression toward you, violates you, ignores your sexual boundaries, uses manipulation in the relationship to coerce you into fulfilling his needs, such as emotionally blackmailing you, shaming you, threatening to leave, cheat, or assault (the list is endless), it’s a clear non-negotiable sign that your husband is not only sexually demanding. In fact, this could be lead to a case of marital rape, and you must prioritize protecting yourself

    NOTE: Many wives will complain, “My husband forces me to do things.” That is not okay! Here is a quick answer to many similar queries related to horrible things some women complain about:

    • My husband pressures me sexually. Is that okay? NO.
    • My husband touches me when I’m sleeping. Is that okay? NO.
    • My husband is too sexually aggressive. Is that normal for a man? NO.
    • My husband wants oral sex every day. Is that normal? NO.
    • My husband wants me to sleep with another man. Is that okay? NO, unless you want it too.
    • My husband wants a threesome. Is that okay? NO. Unless you too want it.
    • Can a wife say ‘no’ to her husband? YES.

    Related Reading: 11 Things To Do When Someone Treats You Badly In A Relationship

    11 Ways To Deal With A Sexually Demanding Husband

    I am hoping it must now be clear(er) to you if your husband is unreasonably horny or if he is just a more sexual person. You must now be thinking of the next steps. Dealing with a sexually demanding husband or not, your relationship requires opening channels of communication, setting clear boundaries, and maintaining mutual respect. If you have been wondering how to get in sync with your partner sexually, here are 11 ways to do so:

    1. It’s time for introspection

    Before you reach out to your partner (you know we will advise you to do that at some point), you need to find out where exactly you are in terms of the relationship. You can begin by answering these questions for yourself:

    • Do you find your husband attractive? This might be helpful if your complaint is “I don’t want to sleep with my husband”
    • If not, what do you think may have caused you to lose interest?
    • What do you find attractive in a man?
    • What is your ideal sex routine?
    • Does intimacy in general make you uncomfortable? Do you have intimacy issues?
    • Are you asexual? (It is completely all right to be so!)
    • Does your partner make you feel respected in other areas of your life?
    • If you say, “My husband is obsessed with me sexually,” can the sexual attention be considered flattering? Or is it bordering on being disrespectful?

    Related Reading: The 7 Types Of Boundaries In Relationships For A Stronger Bond

    2. Physical intimacy vs sex: Is that the root of your problems?

    It is common to confuse ‘physical intimacy’ with ‘sexual intimacy,’ which could be the cause behind your relationship woes. Physical intimacy can include non-sexual physical touch, such as cuddling, holding hands, kissing, stroking, ruffling hair, hugging, sleeping with backs or feet touching, and so much more. Our most important advice is to spend time together understanding the difference.

    Do you often say to yourself, “My husband wants to be with me all the time,” or ask, “Why is my husband only interested in me sexually?” What if your sexually demanding husband is seeking physical intimacy and knows no other way to seek it? He has what is called as the physical touch love language, but he doesn’t have the emotional maturity of thinking beyond groping you or teasingly hitting your butt. We are not saying he is right, but noting this as the problem can be a great starting point.

    Similarly, you too could be misreading his signals, especially if you suffer from intimacy issues. When he pulls you closer, he may not be asking for sex. Or he may be expressing his sexual fantasies because he wants to know yours. However, you are the best judge of your circumstances and feelings. If his behavior is making you uncomfortable, you need to talk to him.

    Related Reading: The 8 Commandants Of Open Communication In A Relationship

    3. Have an open dialogue

    Women often ask, “Why is my husband only interested in me sexually?” Your spouse can answer that best. Once you feel more confident about your thoughts, initiate an honest conversation. You can use this opportunity to express your feelings, needs, and concerns regarding the frequency of sexual activity and the tension and stress that has built up in your relationship. If you have been feeling pressured, or if he is making you feel guilty, tell him so, instead of engaging in mercy sex. Sharing your perspective can help him understand your point of view.

    Ask him what he is seeking. What does sex mean to him? What does he try to convey when he gives you the ‘look’? Maybe he just wants to be complimented back. And with your guard up, you haven’t been able to do so enough. How does he feel when you say ‘no’? Is there a better way to say ‘no’? Together, you can get to the root of your husband’s demands and your inhibitions, and possibly reach a middle ground.

    NOTE: Talk to your partner outside of the sexual environment. Don’t have ‘the conversation’ as a response to his actions or demands, or else, he will most likely get defensive, and you will be setting up the talk for failure.

    4. Try to come to a middle ground

    Does a compromise work for you? Hear us out. If your partner wants sex every night and you want it once a week, trying to get close to 2 times a week may work for you. However, finding the middle ground doesn’t always need to be a clinical division of frequency.

    This could also be about other concerns. Who initiates sex? Who gives physical compliments? Who makes the other person feel attractive and desired? Who makes efforts in the relationship to spice it up? Physical intimacy is an equally important part of the various kinds of intimacies that cement a relationship, and an effort to strengthen it should come from both sides equally.

    Related Reading: 9 Expert Tips To Compromise In A Marriage The Right Way

    5. Lay out your sexual boundaries

    Knowing each other’s comfort levels and boundaries when it comes to sexual intimacy is extremely important. Setting down what you are okay or not okay with sexually is a way to show yourself respect. However, keep the following in mind when you sit to talk to him:

    • Knowing what you enjoy or what is uncomfortable for you takes a fair bit of exploration and introspection. Encourage your husband to do the same
    • If you have been feeling pressured, talk about consent. You need to set it straight that your partner can not feel entitled to your body. Love does not give one the right to overlook consent
    • Set boundaries such as specifying what sexual activities are off-limits or defining the frequency of sexual encounters
    • Establishing clear boundaries and then respecting them will help create trust in each other. This in turn will foster an environment in your relationship where both of you feel free to express your needs and desires
    • Sexual boundaries change over time. When enough trust is established, both of you might become okay with exploring each other’s desires and find out that you enjoy something you never thought you could
    how to say no without hurting his feelingshow to say no without hurting his feelings
    Learning to say no the right way can help you communicate your boundaries without causing him hurt

    6. Learn how to say ‘no’ without hurting his feelings

    When you say, “My husband pouts when I say ‘no’,” you are clearly frustrated or worried about hurting your partner’s feelings. Let us say your husband isn’t pushing your boundaries as much as he did, anymore, and that he has learnt how to propose sex to you in a way you are comfortable with. When he does, and you are not in the mood, how do you say ‘no’ to him, guilt-free?

    • Say ‘no’ from a place of empathy. Empathy will allow you to speak from a place of love rather than from a place of guilt and defense
    • If possible, offer alternative ways to connect, such as bathing together or taking a walk
    • If you need time alone, express clearly that you need time for yourself and say that you will be back
    • The idea is that ‘no’ doesn’t have to mean rejection or feel personal. When done right, he can understand that you want to connect with him, just not sexually (or maybe just not now)

    7. Emphasize emotional intimacy

    Is “my husband wants sex but not intimacy” your biggest complaint? You might have to help him recognize that a deeper emotional connection will enhance overall marital satisfaction. This, in turn, will create ease and comfort, making partners more inclined to come closer. Suggest focusing on the quality of your intimate moments rather than just the quantity.

    You can discuss and think of activities that you could engage in to develop emotional intimacy in your marriage without necessarily leading to sexual activity. Less sex and more quality time can surprisingly help balance the dynamics of a sexual relationship.

    A friend once told me that her husband, in a heated discussion over the same sexual incompatibility issue, had said to her, “Fine, I push us toward sex, making suggestions, planning things, suggesting ideas. If romance is so important to you, what do you do to make sure we connect romantically?” This was a mindblowing moment for her. She realized that, with her defensive stance, she had stopped initiating any kind of intimacy, and this was taking a toll on her relationship.

    Related Reading: 11 Warning Signs Of Lack Of Emotional Connection In Relationships

    8. Explore pleasure beyond sexual intercourse

    When a visual suggestion from your partner means, “Now it’s kissing time, next groping, after which oral, and then home base,” the predictability becomes boring after a point, making it difficult to enjoy sex. And the solution is not just shuffling the sequence on this one. You will need to encourage exploration of pleasure beyond sexual intercourse or the sexual act.

    Focus on activities that foster intimacy and pleasure, promoting a holistic approach to satisfaction. Massages, playing out sexual fantasies, reading erotic literature, having deep conversations, bathing together, bubble baths, sex-toys — these things can break the monotonous round-the-bases approach to sex.

    relationship advicerelationship advice

    9. Disassociate ‘the look’ from sex. Here’s how…

    The suggestive ‘look’ (replace it with your husband’s typical sexual advances) from your partner can be a mood killer and cause you to freeze up. Because it comes with the idea of an end result that is always sex. And while you might be in the mood to be physically intimate with your partner, you might not always want to ‘hit the hay’. You both, as a couple, need to disassociate ‘the look’ with an end result. How to do that?

    Engage in activities centered on physical intimacy but do not take it to sex. Let the tension build up. Exchange the look, shower together, but then dress up and go to work. After a long workday, fix up a salad naked with your partner and eat it on the couch, laugh together, talk about your day, make plans for the weekend, but don’t ‘knock your boots’. Once you do this enough, ‘the look’ will stop getting intimidating.

    10. Seek professional help

    If you still find yourself saying, “My husband pressures me sexually” or “My husband is obsessed with me sexually,” you should certainly seek professional help. If these sentences mean you feel physically unsafe, you should reach out to professionals at an abuse helpline immediately. If you are not sure how you feel about the sexual pressure in your relationship, it is always better to err on the side of caution.

    If you feel that this is not the case, but communication with your husband has proven to be challenging, seek professional help from a sex therapist or a marriage counselor anyway. Individual counseling can help you sort your own thoughts out and figure out a way to talk to your partner. If you think your partner will be up for it, couples counseling can provide a safe space to discuss concerns and develop strategies to tackle this issue.

    Should you need it, Bonobology’s panel of experienced counselors can provide you with the professional perspective that is often pertinent to navigating marital issues. Seeing a therapist will also help you with the next point!

    Related Reading: How Does Marriage Counseling Work to Solve Relationship Issues?

    11. Take care of your mental, emotional, and physical health

    … preferably with your partner. There are many advantages to taking this approach. The impact of stress on both kinds of libidos — both hyperactive and dormant — is huge. Working together to manage stressors can both alleviate pressure on sexual demands and improve sex drive. When done together, it can be a great way for married couples to spend quality time together and share a common goal. You can try the following:

    • Exercise and movement: Activities that work your body out can help improve your relationship with your body in turn allowing for better sex
    • Eating better: Eating wholesome nutritious food nurtures not just your body, it’s an entire love language toward yourself. It motivates you to engage in movement
    • Journaling: It helps you declutter your thoughts and allows you to get to know yourself better
    • Seeing a therapist: Consultation with a therapist may help you work on any deeper trauma that may be affecting your partner’s behaviors and/or your responses.
    • Nurturing hobbies: Spend time doing things you love to boost your mood and improve your self-relationship
    • Building a support system: Don’t forget to keep in touch with family and friends. They can be the first line of help during difficult times

    Key Pointers

    • Sexual expectations in marriage or a mismatch in sexual frequency and libido is a common bone of contention in marriages and can cause marriage crisis
    • There is no right number of times a couple must have sex to ensure marital well-being
    • A sexually demanding husband will initiate sex frequently, make sexual innuendos often, and make unilateral decisions regarding intimacy related matters
    • You should spend some time to introspect on the situation and your own feelings. Next, talk to your spouse about sexual boundaries and mutual consent, discuss ways to improve intimacy to feel connected with your spouse, and see if a compromise can be found
    • It is simply not okay for your husband to force something on you. Do not do what you are not comfortable with. Stand your ground. Make reasonable compromises
    • Seek professional help if you need a third party to weigh in and guide you on how to talk to your husband. If your husband is open to it, you can see a sex therapist together

    Change in your sexually demanding husband’s behavior will not happen overnight. And you might have to be patient. But equipped with these tools, we hope you can navigate this obstacle in your relationship. Remember, every relationship is unique, and these suggestions should be tailored to your specific circumstances. The key is to maintain open communication, have an empathetic relationship, and show willingness to understand and support each other’s needs.

    And needless to say, if your partner is aggressively violating your boundaries, or engaging in any form of violence — physical, verbal, or emotional — you must get help immediately.

    FAQs

    1. My husband wants sex but not intimacy. What to do?

    If you often find yourself saying “My husband is obsessed with me sexually,” you must talk to your partner about the difference between physical intimacy and sex, and see if he understands it. You may have to show him other ways to connect with you physically that don’t always culminate in the act

    2. My husband gets angry when I won’t sleep with him. What to do?

    What do you mean by ‘angry’? Does your husband pout like a child? Or does he force himself on you? Both will cause you a certain level of discomfort. While the former can be handled through open communication and therapy, the latter is criminal behavior. Find immediate help if it’s the latter. 

    3. Why is my husband trying new things in bed?

    Maybe he is trying to spice things up. Ideally, he should be taking a more sympathetic approach to initiating this newness with you. But since he is not, maybe you can spend quality time with your husband and have a meaningful discussion regarding this change. Talk to each other about your fantasies and set boundaries on things you are absolutely not comfortable with. Indulge in each other’s fantasies as far as you comfortably can. 

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  • Recognizing The 13 Red Flags Of A Controlling Relationship

    Recognizing The 13 Red Flags Of A Controlling Relationship

    There is a stark difference between a caring and controlling partner, which many of us are not aware of. To understand how dangerous a controlling relationship can be, look at this study on emotional abuse which states, “Therapists and counselors should pay special attention to controlling, isolating behaviors of partners as precursors to emotional abuse.”

    Let’s take the case of Sarah, a vibrant 28-year-old fashion designer who used to love spending time with her friends and family. However, her life took a turn when she crossed paths with Mark (both names changed), a driven entrepreneur. Sarah had no idea he’s such a controlling person. Constantly texting and inquiring about her whereabouts, he insists that her every free moment be devoted to him. She feels trapped, anxiety-ridden, and as though she’s navigating a minefield. This is an unmistakable instance of a controlling relationship.

    In this article, Anushtha Mishra (MSc in Counseling Psychology) with a specialization in trauma, relationships, depression, anxiety, grief, and loneliness explains what controlling behavior is and how to spot the warning signs. These insights will help you understand when it’s time to end a controlling relationship when you see it in contrast to healthy relationships and a caring partner.

    What Is Controlling Behavior In A Relationship?

    Controlling behavior in a toxic relationship involves actions or attitudes where one partner seeks to dominate, manipulate, or restrict the other. It can come in various forms, like constantly checking up on you – This is overlooked in the initial stages of a controlling relationship because it feels romantic to many. Then they tell you what you can or can’t do, they keep tabs on your social media accounts and email accounts, and even make you feel guilty for your choices.

    Controlling behavior leads to a lack of trust, freedom, and mutual respect in a relationship, causing severe emotional exhaustion. Controlling partners often dictate how their partner thinks, feels, or acts. They might isolate you from friends and family, insist on knowing every detail of your life, use tactics like emotional manipulation, and even resort to physical threats. Many controlling relationships involve emotional abuse, making the victim feel trapped, anxious, or constantly on the edge.

    For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our YouTube Channel. Click Here

    What Are The Prominent Signs Of A Controlling Relationship?

    Controlling relationships are emotionally abusive and can have a devastating impact on the victim. Controlling partners employ a range of tactics to assert dominance, including manipulation, threats, and intimidation. Here are a few signs that suggest you might be trapped in a relationship where your partner dominates you and exercises an unhealthy level of control. If you’re wondering what is considered controlling in a relationship, read on.

    1. The controlling partner isolates you from loved ones

    One of the most prominent and debilitating signs of a controlling husband, wife, or partner is that they might want to keep you all to themselves. They could make you spend less time with your friends and family, making you feel like you’re all alone on an island, cut off from the people who care about you.

    Now I understand it’s natural to question, “Is he controlling or insecure about my growing support network?” or “Is she controlling or scared that she’s losing me?” But the answer lies in nuance. They can be insecure and, therefore, exhibit controlling behaviors but that doesn’t mean it’s justified.

    A few ways your partner can isolate you from your loved ones include:

    • They may discourage you from talking to your friends and family, making it difficult to maintain regular contact
    • They might pick fights or make a big deal out of your desire to spend time with your loved ones
    • They may dictate how you spend your time, leaving little room for visits or outings with friends and family
    • They can use this isolation to exert more control over you, ultimately making you feel like they are your only option for companionship

    Related Reading: Feeling Lonely In A Relationship – 15 Tips To Cope

    2. Constant criticism is the way they talk

    One of the early signs of a controlling man or woman in toxic relationships is that they might take on the role of a ‘critique master.’ This means one partner will find faults in the other partner’s actions and personality. On the receiving end, this is how you’d feel:

    • Your partner makes you feel stupid
    • They make you feel like you can never measure up
    • Their never-ending list of complaints and constant criticism wears down your self-esteem and confidence in doing the most basic things

    3. Limited personal freedom is a common trait of toxic, manipulative relationships

    Personal freedom and alone time can feel like a disappearing act in such a relationship. It’s as if the controlling person holds the strings to your every move, and you need their approval for even the smallest decisions. Want to go out with friends? Seek their permission. Thinking about pursuing a new hobby? You’d better check with them first.

    A Reddit user shared the signs of a controlling husband, “Any time I do ANYTHING for myself, he very subtly finds a way to make me feel guilty the whole time. I have NO LIFE outside of being his wife and a mother. And he’s trained me to feel guilty when I make an attempt to.”

    This constant dynamic leads to a lack of personal space and can make you feel like you’re living under constant surveillance, with every choice subject to their judgment and control. Unable to make choices for yourself, you feel stifled, suffocated, and helpless. It’s crucial to recognize this as a clear sign of a controlling relationship.

    4. Your partner uses guilt as a weapon

    If you find yourself guilt-tripping too frequently, it’s a definite red flag in a relationship. Controlling people often use guilt as a tool to manipulate their partners into feeling bad for things that aren’t their fault. Whether it’s a minor disagreement or a simple decision, they have a way of making their partner carry the burden of guilt, making them feel like they’re constantly in the wrong.

    Your partner can manipulate you into feeling guilty by:

    • Blaming you for things that go wrong, even if you have no control over the situation
    • Playing the victim card to make you feel responsible for their unhappiness or problems
    • Bringing up past mistakes repeatedly, never allowing you to move on, and creating a sense of ongoing guilt
    • Using silent treatment as a way to punish you and make you feel guilty

    Related Reading: Exposing A Narcissist – What You Should Know

    5. What is considered controlling in a relationship? When a partner invades your privacy

    In toxic, manipulative relationships, controlling people can create an atmosphere of surveillance. They insist on full and constant disclosure, which means they want to know every detail of your life and whereabouts, leaving you with little room for independence and personal boundaries. Here’s what invasion of privacy looks like:

    • They check your messages: They want to see your texts, emails, or social media messages, making you feel like you have no personal space
    • They question every move: They ask you about your whereabouts, whom you talked to, and what you did as if you’re under a spotlight of scrutiny
    • They demand to know your thoughts: They might press you to reveal your innermost thoughts and feelings, making you feel like your mind isn’t your own
    • They track your steps: They could go to extreme measures such as tracking your location through your phone, to ensure they always know where you are
    Infographic on Recognizing the 13 Red Flags of a Controlling Relationship
    13 Red Flags of a Controlling Relationship

    6. A partner like this feels entitled enough to crush your dreams

    In a healthy partnership, both individuals have equal say and autonomy. But a dominating partner might not be very supportive of your dreams. The reasons or excuses could be any: Their socioeconomic status, fear of losing control over you, insecurity, etc. Instead of encouraging you, they would put down your goals and discourage you from pursuing them. You may feel like your aspirations are being crushed. Worse, you’d start second-guessing your dreams and capabilities too.

    7. When there are issues of control in a relationship, emotional ups and downs are inevitable

    In a controlling relationship, your partner can manipulate your emotions, much like a rollercoaster ride that leaves you feeling dizzy and exhausted. Healthy relationships, however, don’t leave you hanging. Control in a relationship can take various forms:

    • The overbearing partner evokes intense emotions like anger, sadness, or anxiety
    • The relationship may be marked by frequent emotional highs and lows, making it hard to find stability
    • Dealing with these emotional rollercoasters can be emotionally exhausting, leaving you drained
    • Your partner’s actions may be unpredictable, making it hard to anticipate their reactions. They might go from being sweet and loving one moment to angry and critical the next, keeping you on edge
    • They might resort to emotional or physical abuse when you least expect it

    Related Reading: Tips To Practice Emotional Attunement To Transform Your Relationships

    8. They even control your finances

    A 2023 survey states that 22% of respondents experienced financial abuse in a past relationship. Around 33.9% of them stayed in the abusive relationship as they had no money, 46.8% stayed because of the children, 21% were afraid of their partner.

    When your lover makes you dependent on them for financial support, it feels as if you’re tethered to a leash. They might gain complete control over your income and expenditures, leaving you with little financial independence. Simple decisions, like buying groceries or paying bills or getting a gift for a loved one, may require their approval. In the later stages of controlling relationships, they instill a sense of financial dependence to the point that it becomes tough for you to make money choices on your own.

    In the worst cases, controlling people might limit their partner’s access to financial resources or even withhold money as a tool of manipulation and control. Recognizing these signs is crucial to regaining financial freedom and addressing the controlling aspects of the relationship. It’s important to prioritize financial autonomy and the ability to make choices that align with your best interests and well-being.

    9. Overbearing partners are masters of manipulation

    Such individuals may distort facts and manipulate situations to serve their own interests. They may bend the truth, gaslight you, and leave you feeling unsure of yourself. This constant manipulation can be disorienting and isolating, but it is important to recognize these tactics so you can break free from their control and build a healthier relationship with yourself and with them.

    Here are some common manipulation tactics that controlling partners use:

    • Gaslighting: This involves making you doubt your own memories, perceptions, and sanity. For example, they may deny saying or doing something, even when you have evidence to the contrary
    • Keeping you isolated: They may try to control whom you spend time with and what you do. They may also make you feel guilty or ashamed for spending time with friends and family without them
    • Using threats: They may use threats of abandonment or suicide to manipulate you into doing what they want. DomesticShelters.org states that “if an abusive partner is threatening suicide, your life could also be at risk.” In that case, especially with their history of abusive traits, get to a safe place, and then seek help for yourself and your partner individually
    They may distort facts and manipulate situations to serve their own interests

    10. Excessive jealousy is common in controlling relationships

    In toxic, manipulative relationships, your partner may feel threatened by any person or situation that they perceive as a threat to their relationship. Even the most innocuous interaction can lead to excessive jealousy. For example, a controlling partner may become jealous if you talk to a coworker, go out to lunch with a friend, or even look at someone else.

    This excessive jealousy can have a devastating impact on the relationship. It can make you feel isolated and suffocated, and it can prevent you from having healthy relationships with others. In some cases, controlling partners may use their jealousy to justify abusive behavior, such as restricting your contact with others, or physically or emotionally harming you.

    11. They deploy the silent treatment

    They often use the silent treatment as a weapon to keep their victims in line. Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse that involves withholding communication from someone as punishment. It can be incredibly disorienting and isolating, and it can make the victim feel like they are walking on eggshells.

    When a controlling partner uses the silent treatment, they are essentially saying, “I am withdrawing my love and attention from you until you do what I want.” This can damage the victim’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth, and make it difficult for them to communicate their needs and feelings.

    Related Reading: The Psychology Of Silent Treatment Abuse And 7 Expert-Backed Ways To Deal With It

    12. They play the blame game

    Another one of the early signs of a controlling man or woman is that they would engage in blame games rather than take responsibility for their actions. They would turn every conflict into a spectacle of finger-pointing. They habitually deflect blame and direct it toward you, creating a never-ending cycle of disputes and accusations.

    This blame-shifting can make it challenging to resolve issues and maintain a peaceful, constructive relationship. Identifying this pattern is essential for addressing the controlling behavior and working toward healthier conflict resolution based on mutual understanding and responsibility.

    13. A dominating partner issues harsh ultimatums

    In a controlling relationship, partners often use ultimatums to get their way. They may threaten to leave the relationship, harm themselves, or do something else that will hurt their partner if the latter doesn’t comply with their demands. This can create a high-stakes environment in the relationship.

    Here are some examples of ultimatums that controlling partners might use:

    • “If you don’t go to that party with me, I’m going to break up with you.”
    • “If you don’t quit your job, I’m going to move out.”
    • “If you don’t talk to your parents about us, I’m going to tell them everything you’ve ever said about them.”
    • “If you don’t wear this dress to the wedding, I’m not going.”
    • “If you don’t give me all your passwords, I’m not going to trust you.”

    Ultimatums are a form of manipulation and control. They are designed to make you feel like you have no choice but to do what your girlfriend or boyfriend wants.

    Related Reading: Contempt In Relationships: The Toxic Behavior You Must Avoid

    Is It Worth Saving A Relationship If Your Partner Is Controlling?

    A controlling relationship is unhealthy and toxic regardless of the gender or sexual orientation of the victim or the abuser. But should you try to save it? There is no right or wrong answer and it’s important to weigh the pros and cons before making a decision. On one hand, controlling behavior can damage a relationship severely. It can erode trust, undermine self-esteem, and lead to isolation and loneliness. It can also be a precursor to other forms of abuse, such as physically aggressive behaviors or emotional violence.

    On the other hand, it is possible for people to change their behavior. If your mate is willing to acknowledge their controlling behavior and work toward charging it, then there may be hope for the relationship. However, it is important to be realistic. It takes time and effort to break the old patterns.

    Remember, you deserve to be in a respectful and healthy relationship, which nurtures your physical and mental health. If your partner is controlling, you don’t have to stay with them. There are people who can help you. You can reach out to a trusted friend or family member, or you can contact a domestic violence hotline or online/offline support groups.

    more on unhealthy relationshipsmore on unhealthy relationships

    When To End A Controlling Relationship?

    If you have been feeling controlled in a relationship, here are a few clear signs it might be time to put an end to things:

    • Your partner is not willing to change their behavior: If your partner has refused to acknowledge or address their controlling behavior, then it is unlikely that the relationship will improve
    • You feel unsafe or threatened: If your partner has threatened you physically or emotionally, or if you feel unsafe around them, then it is important to end the relationship
    • You are unhappy and unfulfilled: If you are not happy in the relationship and you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells, then it is time to move on
    • You realize that you deserve better: You deserve to be in a healthy and respectful relationship with someone who loves and supports you. If your partner is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated, then it is time to leave
    • You are not alone in figuring out how to get out of a controlling relationship. If you decide to leave, remember that there are people who care about you and want to help. Try to seek professional help. Please know that there is hope. You can get out and build a better life for yourself.

    Key Pointers

    • Controlling behavior in a toxic relationship involves actions or attitudes where one partner seeks to dominate, manipulate, or restrict the other
    • A controlling partner might isolate you from people, constantly criticize you, play blame games, give you harsh ultimatums, or even control your thoughts, actions, and finances
    • If your partner is not willing to change, and you feel unsafe or suffocated around them, then it’s time for you to consider ending the relationship
    • You deserve to be in a healthy and respectful relationship with a loving partner

    If you are in a controlling relationship with someone who exhibits any of the red flags listed above or if you’re feeling controlled in a relationship in any way, it is important to protect yourself. Talk to a trusted friend or family member or seek a mental health professional.

    At Bonobology, we offer professional help through our panel of licensed advisors who can help you embark on a path toward recovery and give you relationship advice. If you do wish to seek professional help, remember that it’ll take time for your mate to identify their issues, and for you and your bond to heal.

    FAQs

    1. What causes a partner to be controlling?

    Controlling behavior in a partner can have various underlying causes, like insecurity, fear of abandonment, past trauma, low self-esteem, or cultural or family influence. It could be due to anxiety or mental health disorders too. Ask yourself: “Is he controlling or insecure?” Or “Is it anxiety or is it her controlling behavior?”  

    Understanding the underlying motivations behind their actions can help you navigate the dynamics of your relationship and heal. Remember this: The above causes can provide insights, but they don’t justify controlling behavior that harms you.

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  • A Comprehensive Guide To Different Types of Dating And What They Mean

    A Comprehensive Guide To Different Types of Dating And What They Mean

    If you’ve grown up reading romance novels, such as The Notebook, you may not be able to accept anything less mushy in your relationships and may be in a perpetual search for true love. But, at times, we need to swallow the reality pill and look around us, just to get a feel of how the relationship and dating scenario has evolved over the years. Be it the increasing rate of the LGBTQ community members coming out of their closets, or the growing need for physical relationships sans emotional attachments, the dating dynamics these days are fluid and non-judgmental. Through this article, we’ll try and take a good look at the various types of dating that are in vogue these days.

    We will also look at what makes each work and what doesn’t. Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all dating mantra in this world, and couples can be happy with varied levels of commitment. So, whether you’re single or in a relationship, we hope this comprehensive guide to the various dating styles helps you in choosing the right one for yourself.

    16 Types of Dating And How They Work

    Does dating mean boyfriend and girlfriend? Well, maybe it did 10 years back. In the sphere of dating these days, we often come across different levels of dating and new and unique terms that baffle us. And these evolving concepts seem to have made dating a little too complex for us. After all, you may be clueless about what your potential partner is up to or whether they’re into commitment or some momentary kink. In a study in the US, about half of all respondents said they find dating these days harder than ever before. And dating nowadays need not necessarily lead to a romantic relationship. So, let’s delve deeper into the many different types of dating in the world and find out if we should open up our minds a bit. Here it goes…

    1. Online dating

    Gen-Z doesn’t wait for their friends to set them up for a date. In these days of social media overload, young people are always hooked on to the internet, and just like other everyday activities, such as ordering food or looking for a house, dating too is mostly done or initiated online.

    Related Reading: The Art Of Online Dating: Navigating The World Of Apps And Websites

    Apart from different dating apps such as Tinder or Bumble, people these days are also keen on meeting new people to date through other social media channels, such as Instagram, as a TIME article states. Let’s look at how this type of dating works:

    • In online dating, you get an overview of the person before meeting them
    • Stalking social media profiles of your potential dates offers a lot more facts than one normally gets to know on physical date
    • You may attract unwanted attention
    • Personal details, if available on such platforms, can be misused
    • You can fall victim to fraud
    • You have to save yourself from catfishing, a tactic of appearing like a different person on social media

    2. Speed dating

    Traditionally an ancient Jewish custom, speed dating is a conventional form of dating that has gained scores of fans all over the world. But how does it work? Well, this is a type of dating that is generally organized by dating or matchmaking organizations, for selected clients at set venues, such as restaurants or bars. Each participant is paired up with a different partner for a set period of time and gets to talk to them to get to know them better on a one-on-one date. After each interaction, both the participants get to rate each other and state whether they wish to meet them later. The organizers later let the participants know who is/are interested in them.

    For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our YouTube Channel.

    While it’s apt for working professionals with little or no time to date or people who wish to date seriously, it’s too clinical and participants may miss the fun and romance of a date. Likewise, the dating speed prevents people from knowing a person thoroughly.

    3. Friends with benefits

    Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis perhaps helped this term gain popularity across the globe in the early 2010s with their blockbuster movie Friends with Benefits. But how do such “friendships” function? Well, the term is self-explanatory. Such a relationship is mostly non-committal and may last for a short period, with very little romance and a lot of sex!

    While a friends with benefits dynamic offers momentary physical satisfaction, the lack of long-term commitment can break a partner if they get involved emotionally. At the same time, partners in such relationships may develop fleeting emotions for each other.

    Related Reading: Teenage Dating Apps – 11 Dating Apps For Under 18

    4. Blind dating

    A term that originated in the 1920s in the US, a ‘blind date’ is a romantic interaction between two people who have never met before, arranged by a mutual friend or acquaintance. While blind dates work for adults who are looking for serious relationships and are probably tired of trying their luck, they may end in embarrassing situations, as people involved in this type of dating have no clue what they’re getting into. Blind dating may also lead to unsafe scenarios.

    Different levels of dating
    Dating can range from exclusive dating to open relationships

    5. Casual dating

    The basic difference between casual dating and a hook-up or a ‘friends with benefits’ scenario is that there may be some level of emotional attachment involved in such relationships. It’s a bit deeper than a hook-up but not as deep as a committed relationship. While a casual relationship is usually meant for fun, it may also turn into a friendship, wherein each partner may help each other in times of need. But there’s no rush to get married or have kids. In fact, a casual connection is often a healthy relationship, with less restrictions and expectations.

    Related Reading: 10 Tricks To Choose The Right Profile Pictures For Your Dating Profiles

    6. Serious dating

    When you’re dating with an agenda, be it marriage or a serious relationship, such as a live-in, it leads to serious dating, the most quintessential form of dating that we know of. Serious dating is often exclusive dating. In serious dating, you usually have:

    • An urgency to find suitable matches, based on your interests
    • Commitment to each other
    • Emotions for each other
    • Accountability for your actions in the relationship
    • Future plans, such as life goals or kids after marriage

    7. Situationships

    Ever wondered “What are we?” while dating someone? Well, if you often wonder where you stand with someone in a relationship, you may be in a situationship, one of the many interesting dating methods we hear of these days. A situationship is a type of dating where you:

    • May have just started dating someone
    • Still have no clue about the future
    • May not be committed or exclusive yet

    Related Reading: 12 Differences Between Dating And Being In A Relationship

    Situationships can be tough for people who’re prone to getting attached to their partners and, as a Reddit user states, one shouldn’t “…waste your time hoping in a situationship, it will most likely lead to heart break.”

    Infographic on types of datingInfographic on types of dating
    Types of Dating

    8. Open relationships

    One of my friends once said, “If it’s open, it’s probably not a relationship.” But these days, there’s a trend of people trying to spice up their lives with a flurry of non-monogamous relationships. One such relationship is an open relationship, where:

    • Both partners aren’t exclusive to each other and may date others.
    • Both follow consensual non-monogamy
    • The other relationships may be casual, sexual, or short-term, depending on the boundaries the couple sets

    9. Long-distance dating

    In this fast-paced world, partners may not always be in the same geographical coordinates. Yet, they may be committed to each other. Such situations demand long-distance relationships. Such types of dating work when the partners are in a long-term relationship and are apart because of:

    • Career-related issues
    • Immigration issues
    • Family obligations

    Related Reading: How To Determine The Best Dating Site For You

    Such relationships need constant effort from both the partners and communication through voice notes, phone calls, texts, and video calls. There’s a lot of scope for misunderstandings and distrust to creep in. But eventually, it’s all up to the couple.

    10. Group dating

    Have you ever attended a college fest with friends and their friends in the hope of finding a special someone? Or hung out with a bunch of friends at a café, in the hope of clicking with someone? Well, this is a group date. Group dating is one of the most used dating methods and works quite well when you’re in your teens. But with age, people tend to open up only to fewer people, and such a casual manner of finding suitable matches may not work.

    Types of dating in the worldTypes of dating in the world
    This is an age of fluid dating and relationship terms

    11. Double dating

    A toned-down version of group dating, double dating involves two couples going on joint dates. These can be mutual friends or co-workers. The idea is to cut down the awkwardness when you just start dating someone. On double dates, you also get to see how a person behaves in front of others.

    Related Reading: How To Date A Girl At Work? Follow Our Tips!

    12. Throuple

    A very interesting subset of a consensual non-monogamous relationship is the throuple, which consists of three people. Here’s how it works:

    • In a throuple, all three people have equal importance and share equal intimacy and involvement, while in traditional polyamory, there may be a main couple
    • A throuple can consist of three gay or lesbian individuals, or a mix of heterosexual and homosexual people

    So, the bottomline is, they are three-people relationships and differ from all other polyamorous relationships in the sense that all three are committed to each other. Whereas in a quintessential polyamorous relationship, there is a stable couple with other casual partners.

    13. Courtship

    The most exciting part of a relationship is perhaps when you’re all set to be married but still haven’t gotten over the lovey-dovey phase. This is the courting or courtship period just before you tie the knot and can be a crucial stage in getting to know each other.

    Related Reading: Dating For Marriage? 15 Important Things You Should Be Prepared For

    14. Flings

    A fling is a purely sexual short-term relationship. Here’s what you can expect in one:

    • A no-strings-attached relationship or connection, a fling is more sexual in nature than a casual dating scenario or a friends-with-benefits set-up
    • Flings work when both partners know their boundaries and expectations
    • Flings can stem from a series of one-night stands but last longer than them
    • Flings hardly lead to romantic relationships
    Dating Tips and morreDating Tips and morre

    15. Polyamorous dating

    With the rising fluidity of relationships these days, polyamorous dating isn’t frowned upon anymore. And there are various types of such multi-partner relationships, but what is common in them is mutual consent. So, there’s no cheating involved and all boundaries are taken care of. Let’s look at the two major types of polyamory:

    • Unicorn polyamory: This is a new addition to the dictionary of fluid relationship terms. It’s when a couple adds a third person to their relationship to spice things up. In this type of dating, the third person is not an equal party in the stable relationship but just an add-on. The third person is usually non-binary too
    • Solo polyamory: Gone are the days when being solo meant staying away from relationships. These days, some prefer staying single for as long as they can. But that doesn’t mean they don’t date. Here comes the concept of solo polyamory, where a person stays single but gets into multiple non-committal relationships, not necessarily at the same time. Such people don’t have the wish to get into a relationship with a single partner

    Related Reading: Seeing Someone vs Dating – 7 Differences You Must Know About

    16. Serial dating

    Haven’t we all come across serial daters at some point in our lives? Such serial daters continue dating multiple people, usually one after the other. They are on all dating sites and also scout their dates on social media sites, but never seem to settle. Serial daters may have various reasons for doing what they do. For instance:

    • They may lack the resources to settle down
    • They may lack the emotional maturity to commit
    • They may use their dates as trophies for social acceptance

    Key Pointers

    • With the ever-evolving lifestyle, work stress, and other factors such as rising living costs or career growth, we have noticed the evolution of many different types of dating in the world of late, apart from serious dating
    • Such dating styles include online dating through different dating apps, casual dating, flings, polyamorous dating, throuple, long-distance dating, double dating, speed dating, blind dating, and others
    • Different levels of dating have different levels of commitment, and they work only if there’s mutual consent of the partners

    We hope we’ve been able to answer your question, “Does dating mean boyfriend and girlfriend?” The dating and relationship scenario these days is as varied and colorful as a rainbow. Just like no two people are alike, no two relationships will be the same. People these days are more open about their needs and wants. And this reflects in their dating choices. We’re increasingly moving toward a non-judgemental space, where concepts such as polyamory, online dating, and throuple don’t sound awkward anymore. But what’s important in all such types of dating dynamics is the consent of both/all partners, along with clear boundaries. Remember, a relationship can only be enjoyable if both or all parties don’t make each other feel comfortable and are on the same page. So, don’t wait anymore. Let love happen!

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  • How To Date After Divorce At 40 — 13 Handy Tips

    How To Date After Divorce At 40 — 13 Handy Tips

    Many people dream of finding that person they can spend the rest of their lives with. But life has a way of showing us that what we expect does not always happen. Marriages can break down, and suddenly, in your 40s, you find yourself without a partner to grow old with. The prospect of starting over can be daunting, and you may find yourself at a loss of direction as you wonder how to date after divorce at 40.

    Admittedly, dating after divorce at 40 is a two-edged sword. There’s a liberating aspect to it. You have experience and the advantages that old age comes with. This is the chance to rediscover yourself and find love once again. But there’s also the added challenge that comes with starting the love or relationship journey all over again. Getting over a previous marriage can be tough, especially if you didn’t see the divorce coming.

    Don’t worry, though, we are going to give you some actionable tips on finding love after divorce at 40 is possible. The strategies will help navigate the complexities that come with starting over after divorce.

    The Reality Of Dating After Divorce At 40

    Starting over after divorce at 40 may seem like an insurmountable journey. But it’s important to start moving forward once you have had enough time to heal from the previous marriage. A study by the Pew Research Center in the US shows that there is a record-high share of people in their 40s who have never been married. In 2021, the figure was 25%. That signifies a 5% increase from 2010. 22% of adults aged 40 to 44 live with their romantic partners. When it comes to gender, there are more men than women who have never been married.

    The older generations are also using dating sites or apps to find love. 37% fall between the ages of 30 to 49, while 20% are between the ages of 50 to 64. 13% are those within the age of 65 and above.

    And it gets even more interesting when it comes to finding a match and age. Online desirability for women peaks at age 21. At 26, ladies have more online pursuers. But at 48 years, men have double the number of online pursuers when compared to women.

    So, what do the figures above mean for dating after divorce at 40? Well, there are many takeaways, such as:

    • There are plenty of single men and women within the age bracket who may be looking to settle down
    • Dating sites have become a popular meeting ground for those in the age group of 40 and above
    • Men in their late 40s have higher chances of meeting potential partners. It seems at that age, they are considered relationship-worthy individuals, thus the hot pursuit and issues like age difference in relationships become irrelevant

    In essence, there is no reason not to give the dating game a chance once you reach 40, or even beyond. Even without marriage as the end game, you can still explore different types of relationships after divorce.

    A Reddit user describes what she is looking for at the age of 43. She wants someone to do some things with; a mental and emotional partner with whom she will not share money or live with. The person should be someone she can count on as she provides the same support. They don’t have to do things together as she enjoys some alone time. But in the same breath, the person should be available for things like going to the beach together or just checking in on each other. All this without the challenges of relationships like arguing about putting out the trash or cleaning up after the dog.

    Related Reading: The 13 Best Tips For Dating In the Middle Age

    13 Actionable Tips for Dating After Divorce at 40

    Types of relationships after divorce are numerous. It could be the search for companionship, casual sex, adventure, and more. The good part is that there are no strictly defined dating rules after divorce. You are now a free agent who can explore to your heart’s content. Let’s explore some actionable strategies for starting over at 40 after divorce.

    1. Heal emotionally

    How to date after divorce at 40 means going into the relationship whole. Prioritize emotional healing from the trauma of leaving the previous marriage before you start dating. If there are unresolved issues, take time to seek therapy. It’s important to give yourself enough time to process all the different emotions and experiences that come with the divorce.

    Fear of relationships after a divorce is common, and it’s important to face the fears first before diving in. Remember, the foundation for any healthy relationship is emotional well-being. Dating after divorce with kids also requires that you give them time to heal.

    The impact of the marriage breakup has a profound effect on everyone, including the kids. Don’t bring in any new connection until you’re sure that they are ready to accept the new relationship and partner.

    Related Reading: Chances Of Getting Married After 40: Why It Is Difficult For Older Women In India To Find Partners

    2. Embrace self-discovery

    finding love after divorce at 40
    Dating after divorce at 40 can open you up to new experiences

    Divorce at 40 provides a fantastic opportunity for rediscovery. Now’s the time to explore and understand your desires and passions. Doing this provides a fantastic way to reconnect with yourself, thus boosting your confidence. Confidence is one trait that makes you more attractive to potential partners. Learn about dating in your 40s and how to do it right.

    Self-discovery will also provide more clarity on exactly what you seek in a new relationship as you start dating. Self-discovery is a multi-dimensional process, but so important when learning how to date after divorce at 40. It requires:

    • A better understanding of your identity as an individual without parental influences, societal expectations, cultural influences, or even personal biases
    • Accepting imperfections by embracing flaws and learning from past mistakes
    • Recognizing your strengths and overcoming any insecurities
    • Improving relationships by establishing healthy boundaries and having empathy and compassion for others
    • Establishing authentic goals with clarity on values and a pursuit of passion
    • Developing coping mechanisms such as resilience, mindfulness, and emotional regulation
    • Spiritual growth and a deeper connection with the universe, nature, or a higher power

    A Reddit user says she only found herself for the first time after divorce. She shed off societal, familial, and other pressures to discover her authentic self. Self-discovery is a never-ending process but has such a deep impact on making you a better individual. The strengths and benefits will allow you to build better connections as you pursue serious relationships with potential partners.

    3. Define your priorities

    Be clear about the biggest priorities in a relationship and what you want. Are you looking at getting into a serious, committed partnership, or do you just want some companionship? There is nothing wrong with casual dating as you seek a more lasting union. Have fun without having any expectations on potential dates.

    So, what about casual sex? Well, as an adult, the choice to indulge is up to you. But, make sensible decisions to avoid getting hurt. Casual sex means no emotional aspects or any expectations of it leading to a serious relationship. Also, prioritize sexual safety to avoid catching diseases.

    Related Reading: 40 New Relationship Questions You Should Surely Ask

    4. Explore online dating

    We live in a digital age. And how to date after divorce at 40 is much simpler, thanks to technology, you don’t even need to leave your home to find a potential mate. There are tons of reputable dating sites and apps that provide a fantastic platform for such purposes. You can find sites and apps to cater to your every need.

    These include dating sites for widows, dating sites for divorcees, dating sites for 40s and over, and so much more. Here are some tips to determine the best dating site for you. You can also check out the following for a round-up of where to look for potential mates.

    Have the following in mind as you use the online sites.

    • Take your time and have clarity on exactly what you are looking for
    • Review and understand the platform privacy settings to keep your personal information safe
    • Be honest in your communication
    • Prioritize safety when meeting new connections, no matter how nice the person sounds
    • Be realistic about expectations

    And, as convenient as online dating sites are, don’t confine yourself to them alone. Figuring out how to date after divorce at 40 entails being active in your social interactions. Get out there and experience life while socializing with others.

    Read more on dating tipsRead more on dating tips

    5. Take things slow

    Divorced and single at 40 is not an ideal situation for someone who was previously married. But it does not mean jumping headfirst into any situation when someone shows the slightest interest. The hard and fast rule is to avoid rushing into serious commitments. Let the relationships develop organically, no matter how long it takes.

    The advantage is you both get the opportunity to truly understand each other. Your ideal partner should be respectful of your need to take things slow. It could take several weeks to even months. But patience is important in making the right decisions. It also helps to spend time learning what to expect in a second marriage after 40.

    6. Be open-minded

    Don’t confine yourself to your comfort zone because you are divorced and single at 40. Be open to meeting diverse people with varied interests. Spend time doing new things and just enjoy life. It may shock you, but sometimes, the most unexpected connections turn into meaningful relationships. Being open-minded also allows for personal growth because it challenges any beliefs you may have held onto for a long time. You are also better able to embrace new experiences by conquering any insecurities or fears.

    7. Involve your children wisely

    dating after divorce with kidsdating after divorce with kids
    Starting over after divorce at 40 is possible even with kids in the picture

    Dating after divorce with kids means making tough decisions. Remember, it is not only about you. So, only bring in the new partner when the relationship is stable. It’s important to take care of the kid’s emotional stability since they have already dealt with the trauma of the last marriage.

    You need to figure out how long you should wait before introducing your girlfriend or boyfriend to the kids. And how do you decide that? Some general guidelines to consider include:

    • The length and stability of the relationship: For instance, is the new partner consistent and reliable, and you see that they can be a permanent and positive feature in our lives?
    • The children’s emotional state: Have and maintain open communication with the kids. See how they’re responding to the divorce and how they are reacting emotionally
    • The child’s age and developmental stage: Younger children may find it hard to cope with changes. On the other hand, older kids, especially teenagers, have complex emotions and may have strong opinions about your new partner. They may also seek greater involvement in the process, which could make the dating process harder or simpler
    • The child’s relationship with the ex-spouse: This is especially critical in co-parenting situations. There must be respect and cooperation within the dynamic to ease the entry of a new partner into the picture
    • Behavioral changes: Signs of regressive or negative behavior could show that the child is not handling the transition well. They could be trying to deal with the complex emotions they are experiencing due to their new relationship

    When exploring how to date after divorce at 40, please remember that the children are a priority. Respect their feelings and understand their emotional state before introducing a new connection. Patience and flexibility will be critical at this time. If necessary, professional guidance can help if you find that you are unable to deal with the situation on your own.

    Related Reading: 21 Things To Know When Dating A Man With Kids

    8. Prioritize communication

    Dating rules after divorce at 40 include prioritizing communication. Transparent communication is vital to building healthy relationships. Discuss your expectations, fears, and dreams openly with potential partners.

    9. Practice self-care

    Starting over after divorce at 40 means prioritizing self-care. That includes,

    • Exercising
    • Healthy eating
    • Indulging in activities that bring you joy
    • Focusing on your emotional well-being

    It’s only when you are comfortable being alone that you should get into a new relationship. That sense of independence is critical and will allow you to enjoy the dating journey more. It is also a significant indicator of whether you have learned how to love yourself in a relationship or not.

    10. Learn from past mistakes

    How to move on after divorce at 40 means learning from past mistakes. There’s a reason why the last marriage did not work. It could have been through no fault of yours. Or, you may have also contributed to its breakdown. Don’t beat yourself down with the reasons.

    Instead, reflect on the issues and take what happened as a valuable lesson. That will help avoid repeating the mistakes of the past in the new relationship. Reflecting on past mistakes is also an important step in healing. It provides clarity on where you are emotionally. Your ideal partner will appreciate your openness and honesty about the whole situation.

    Related Reading: 12 Signs Your Past Relationships Are Affecting Your Present Relationship

    11. Enjoy the journey

    Dating in your 40s after divorce can be enriching. Let go of any inhibitions and be ready to embrace new experiences. Enjoy meeting new people, exploring different personalities, and learning about yourself through these interactions. The journey will be a process of learning and growth as well. Every date or relationship you get into, whether successful or not, will provide valuable lessons.

    The different types of relationships after divorce directions to experiencing a wide array of potential partners. Each brings in diverse backgrounds, personalities, and life experiences. And with all the exciting things that are happening will be some that are not so pleasant. Not every relationship will be successful but you will learn or develop a high level of emotional resilience to deal with the rejection. That is a fantastic way to build confidence and reinforce your self-esteem.

    12. Balance your life

    There are many complexities to modern dating. And, you need the right strategies to navigate them. Tips for dating in your 40s must include maintaining a balance between your personal life, work, and social interests. True, finding love and companionship is important. But, remember, a well-rounded life is attractive and fulfilling. It will bring out the best aspects of yourself to your potential partner and those around you.

    13. Trust your instincts

    One of the most valuable tips for dating in your 40s is that you must always listen to your gut instinct. Intuition is one of the best tools for letting you know how to proceed when starting over at 40 after divorce. If it tells you something is not right, run. In your 40s, you have the advantage of age and experience. Your last marriage also equipped you with plenty of valuable lessons. All these factors contribute to the accuracy of your intuition in pointing you in the right direction.

    Key Pointers

    • Dating after divorce at 40 can be fun and, at the same time, challenging
    • How to move on after divorce at 40 means letting go of the past, learning from mistakes, and prioritizing self-care
    • Dating after divorce with kids requires delicate handling of their emotional well-being. Only introduce the new connection when you are sure the kids have healed
    • Dating rules after 40 include open communication, maintaining your independence, and being patient.

    We know you have learned plenty about how to date after divorce at 40. It’s a relief to know that there are no hard and fast rules in finding love after divorce at 40. Each experience in the dating scene contributes to your personal growth. It doesn’t matter whether it leads to a serious relationship, a casual connection, or simply a valuable life lesson. The most important thing is that you embrace the journey. Also, stay true to yourself, and trust that the right relationship will come when the time is right.

    Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, I may earn a commission. However, I only recommend products and services that I truly believe in and that I think will be helpful to my readers.

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  • 11 Expert Tips On How To Increase Physical Intimacy In A Relationship

    11 Expert Tips On How To Increase Physical Intimacy In A Relationship

    The agenda of what we are about to discuss couldn’t be clearer or more direct—we discuss how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship. But the answers are not as direct as the question at hand. Intimacy is a nuanced word. Intimacies or closeness, are of varied kinds and there are different types of physical intimacy and different ways to express them. They all work in tandem with each other.

    Physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, experiential intimacy, and spiritual intimacy are all portals to feeling closer and more connected to your partner. Hand holding with your partner feels more intimate while admiring a sunset. You see, physical intimacy examples like kissing under the stars or making love back home feel stronger when they are compounded with other intimacies. It means more than just physical contact; there was a strong connection that was forged. 

    Our expert relationship and intimacy coach, Shivanya Yogmayaa (internationally certified in the therapeutic modalities of EFT, NLP, CBT, and REBT), who specializes in different forms of couples counseling, takes cues from the varying shades of emotions behind physical intimacy. She addresses the question “How does physical intimacy affect relationships?” and gives us tips on how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship. She also busts myths and false limitations imposed on the idea of physical intimacy.

    What Is Physical Intimacy In A Relationship?

     Physical connection in a relationship involves the physical closeness, touch, and connection shared between partners. It goes beyond the act of sex and encompasses a range of expressions. These physical intimacy examples include hugging, kissing, and other forms of physical affection, including physical relationships. This closeness creates a sense of security, trust, and emotional bonding between two partners. It’s a way for them to express their love, care, and desire for one another, creating a deeper connection that strengthens their relationship and emotional intimacy.

    For more expert-backed insights, subscribe to our YouTube channel

    For someone, physical intimacy can cause sexual passion and the desire to express sexual intimacy. To another, it may cause sensual pleasure. They may find physically intimate grand gestures such as the public display of their affection or touch comforting, soothing, and pleasurable, but it may not necessarily make them want to have sex. It can just be a form of physical affection for them. For someone else, the act of holding hands in public can cause an emotional reaction. This emotion may not initiate sensual or sexual pleasure but only a spiritual sense of joy and peace. They might not be turned on but they might be experiencing “feel good” emotions.  It’s also about what their love languages are and what that brings out in them. 

    What this simply means is that physical intimacy can not be seen bereft of other aspects that a couple shares with each other. While it is true that physical intimacy is holding hands, kissing, and appreciating the experience of physical contact and sexual intercourse, the closeness experienced in such acts depends on the other types of intimacies the couple shares, which fosters the desire for one another.  Similarly, it works the other way around, too. This is why it holds the kind of importance it does in a relationship and makes the question “How to increase physical intimacy in a relationship?” a recurring concern.

    Physical intimacy vs sexual intimacy 

    Being in a physically intimate relationship is often misconstrued or even used by most people as a euphemism for sexual intercourse. Shivanya sets the record straight. She says, “Physical intimacy is not just plain sex or physical romance. It is a means of connection and involves the emotions of consent, safety, trust, and transparency. For one to feel physical closeness and comfort, there has to be a groundwork of several layers of understanding, communication, and connection.”

    Sex and physical intimacy are not the same thing. Sexual intimacy is a form of physical intimacy, but it is not limited to it. Sexual touch, sensual touch, and physical touch are not interchangeable. For example, a public display of affection is a physical touch. But it can be initiated as a result of different intentions. It can also instigate different reactions in a person. 

    Related Reading: 55 Intimate Questions To Ask Your Partner

    Why Is It Important To Foster Physical Intimacy In A Relationship?

    Is physical intimacy important in a relationship? Well, Shivanya says, “It is the most innate desire in every human to be touched, to be hugged, to be desired. Both in a sexual way and a non-sexual way. Different types of hugs, for example, can communicate so much without the need to say anything.”

    How does physical intimacy affect relationships and one another? Well, physical intimacy, whether sexual or non-sexual, satisfies the physiological needs of our bodies and plays an important role in maintaining a healthy relationship.

    How to be physically romantic? Well, physical contact, including hugging, kissing, and sexual interactions, helps. It leads to the release of oxytocin, a hormone that activates the brain’s pleasure centers

    • Oxytocin, in response to physical touch, helps reduce stress and anxiety, contributing to emotional well-being in a relationship
    • Consensual and desirable touch, even in non-sexual contexts like when your partner hold hands with you or cuddles, strengthens the emotional bond in a relationship
    • Physical intimacy enhances trust, security, and overall relationship satisfaction by providing a channel for expressing love and care.
    • It promotes a sense of belonging and comfort, making partners feel valued and understood.

    Shivanya adds, “If we pay attention to what happens when physical intimacy is denied in a relationship, we will understand how physical intimacy affects relationships and why it’s important. Speaking through my experience of dealing with clients, both men and women, who have had issues with physical intimacy, I can say that the amount of stress this lack causes is massive.”

    11 Expert Tips On How To Increase Physical Intimacy In A Relationship

    Shivanya answered our question, “Is physical intimacy important in a relationship?” As she mentioned,  physical intimacy is something humans crave, as it provides them with the most basic needs of fulfillment, pleasure, self-worth and self-esteem, a sense of connection, and a feeling of trust in the bond they create. How to increase physical intimacy in a new relationship or even a long-term one, between unmarried or married couples should be one of our major intentions when nurturing relationships. But how does one do that effectively and in a healthy way?

    Here are a few things that our expert advises to help you increase physical connection in a relationship. Prioritizing these will not only help you bring yourself closer to your partner, but each of these tips will also help you through all the stages of physical intimacy in relationship, including love, mutual respect, and, as a result, a deeper connection with your partner.

    1. Be mindful of consent

    No conversation about how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship should begin without understanding the role of consent and the assurance of consent. Shivanya says, “Physical intimacy must be a mutual act, which means it has to have the consent of the partners involved, be it either married couples or unmarried. Never force physical intimacy on your partner.” It is very important to be mindful of your partner’s boundaries. It is important to confirm and reconfirm your partner’s consent and make sure they don’t feel uncomfortable in order to improve physical intimacy in marriage, whether in a new relationship or an old one. 

    How to ask for physical intimacy? It certainly starts with respecting your partner’s boundaries, which leads to trust, making way for open communication and resolution of conflicts, ultimately enriching physical intimacy. On the other hand, forcing yourself on them, whether physically or emotionally, can be considered abuse and that is not a foundation on which a healthy relationship is built. Navigating physical intimacy in a relationship may sometimes involve overcoming moments of a subtle power struggle as partners find a balance that suits both their needs and boundaries.

    Related Reading: My Marriage Is Falling Apart – Expert Suggests 13 Ways To Turn It Around

    2. Communicate effectively

    If one had to pick out the most important quality that is a constant in a healthy, joyful relationship, it would be communication. Learning ways to improve communication is the key to improving all aspects of a relationship. In one form or another, it has a constant spot in all discussions surrounding love. For physical intimacy, Shivanya says, “Communicating your physical needs is extremely crucial for having a physical connection with your partner. Communicate your needs and desires otherwise as well as in the act. What feels pleasurable, what doesn’t, and what is hurtful? What turns you on and turns you off?” She highlights the need to have candid conversations about your preferences for different types of physical intimacy. 

    Even for non-sexual touch, partners should often talk about how much touch or physical contact each person likes. Shivanya mentions, “Communicating these things and talking about them also creates a spiritual and emotional closeness with your partner. So, the benefits are manyfold.” Instead of just wondering all by yourself or googling your concerns, your best bet could simply be to ask your partner their opinion on how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship. Couples often benefit from openly discussing and implementing various physical intimacy ideas to ensure their romantic connection remains.

    Communication is a very important part of a healthy relationship
    Learning how to communicate with your partner is the key to improving all aspects of a relationship

    3. Build a safe space for communication

    We know how necessary it is for the communication channel between two partners to be free and open. This is something that goes a long way for the relationship. Maintaining physical intimacy in a long-distance relationship especially requires communication to bridge the geographical distance it brings. But how to ask for physical intimacy? Sincere and open-minded communication about it is possible only when both partners feel that they will be listened to without any judgment or fear of backlash from their partner. This is especially noteworthy when wanting to share one’s desires, fantasies, and physically intimate things to do with them. Physical intimacy in a new relationship can be nurtured by talking about these emotions from the very beginning.

    Shivanya says, “Physical intimacy increases with effective communication of desires and fantasies. It allows the improvement of intimacy beyond the limits of the physical aspect. It nurtures respect in the relationship. That is why we advise having a safe space for communication of these without the fear of judgment from the partner.”

    4. Foster emotional intimacy

    Without emotional intimacy, you can’t cross through all the stages of physical intimacy in relationship. As we discussed earlier, intimacy is a compound concept and is not limited to just physical romance. No intimacy works in isolation. Physical intimacy can be nurtured when the emotional connection between two partners is fostered. People tend to put in all their energy to improve physical intimacy in marriage or lack thereof. However, they do not consider the state of the emotional connection they have with their partner. 

    Shivanya gets straight to the point, “Nobody reacts well to physical contact or touch when there is a lack of emotional connection. But some people feel more shut down than others. A touch from someone else can feel extremely intrusive and unwanted in that case.” A simple example of this would be a person complaining that their partner always jumps into the act but refuses to take time out to do other things together or even simply talk about their day.

    Related Reading: How Hair Loss Triggers Body Image Issues And Impacts Relationships

    5. Be respectful of your partner’s and your bodies

    “We shouldn’t feel judged for our bodies. The color of our skin, the shape of our body, and the appearance of the genitalia. If one does, it is going to come in the way of physical intimacy. A conscious effort must be made to appreciate each other’s bodies,” says Shivanya.

    In fact, we would go on to say that not judging one’s body isn’t enough. If one were to feel proud of their physicality and find it easy to love their bodies, it would open a completely new channel of physical connection between partners that would go a long way in the relationship. Now an obvious question is: how? Well, you can start by:

    • Open communication, with an open mind and sharing insecurities with each other 
    • Reassure your partner of your admiration for them and for their body
    • Make praising each other a habit

    Shivanya especially advises seeking professional help for issues like vaginismus, erectile dysfunction, and premature or delayed ejaculation. Help should also be sought for sexual incompatibility issues. They are often dealt with in a secretive tone but are very real, very common issues that are often easy to treat with a clear diagnosis and treatment by a medical professional. 

    6. Consider childhood traumas

    “Sometimes people in a relationship that lacks physical intimacy wonder why their partner is not responding to their touch. Or why do they go frigid when touched? Or why are they less interested? Why do they shy away? Deep-seated childhood wounds might be the reason behind these issues,” says Shivanya.

    Many physical intimacy issues stem from sexual abuse trauma. Sexual, physical, mental, and emotional traumas experienced in childhood can hugely affect the relationship a person has with their own body. As well as physical intimacy, including a physical relationship with another human being. Physical affection might not mean the same for them as it means for you. 

    “In this case too, you see, physical intimacy can be enabled only with emotional intimacy,” says Shivanya. If you or your sex therapist find that your issues are more deep-seated they may recommend that you try trauma-focused therapy. Consult a skilled therapist to get to the root of these issues. They may be affecting much more in your lives than just physical intimacy.

    7. Do not limit intimacy to the bedroom

    Do you wonder what to do to increase intimacy in a relationship? And then do you make a list and try everything when hitting the sheets? That might not be very effective. Physical intimacy, after all, has to feel organic. Physical intimacy is synonymous with affection, whether sexual or non-sexual.

    Shivanya advises, “Do not limit physical intimacy to the bedroom and to nighttime. Make your affection felt throughout the day through other physical gestures such as a squeeze of the hand, a back rub, or a forehead kiss. You don’t have to wait for the night to get on with it. Think of all the ways you can tell them you love them without saying it.”

    native banner on intimacynative banner on intimacy

    8. Make a deliberate effort to tackle predictability

    Trust, safety, and comfort are paramount in a healthy relationship. The feeling that one knows their partner inside and out can be joyous and peaceful. A small side effect of this level of connection and trust is predictability. While it is a small price to pay for the ease of a great relationship, there are things that can be done to tackle predictability.

    “If you are wondering what to do to increase intimacy in a relationship or thinking of different physical intimacy ideas, well, try things that break routine,” advises Shivanya. The following are a few ways Shivanya suggests physically intimate things to do;

    •  Add elements of surprise to combat predictability with new things:
      • Plan getaways to spend quality time together 
      •  Be playful and explore fantasies
      •  Try roleplays
      •  Incorporate massages, including body and genital massage
      •   Use props such as sex toys, feathers, roses, candles, etc.
    • Hold a non-judgmental space for partners to feel secure in sharing their deepest thoughts
    • Experiment with changing patterns of initiating physical intimacy to enhance the overall experience

    Related Reading: How Masturbation Helps In Long-Distance Relationships

    9. Invest in shared experiences 

    Shared experiences involve getting involved in activities together that foster a deeper connection and strengthen the emotional bond between partners. These shared experiences can help a great deal in creating a sense of unity and shared memories, having a positive effect on the overall intimacy, including the physical intimacy of a relationship. Wondering how to invest your time in this? Explore the physical intimacy ideas with the below suggestions. These will also help you have a  great time and quality time with your partner:

    10. Spontaneity is the key

    Discovering how to be physically romantic involves the willingness to embrace and initiate unplanned and unexpected moments of closeness and connection with your partner, which is what spontaneity means. By adding an element of surprise and excitement to the relationship, intimacy of all kinds but especially physical intimacy, blooms. It keeps the romantic and intimate aspects fresh and dynamic. 

    • Plan unexpected surprises, like spontaneous weekend getaways or surprise date nights for new experiences
    • Welcome spontaneity in the bedroom by being open to trying new things without rigid expectations, with a sense of adventure and excitement for one another

    11. Seek support from professionals

    If how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship seems like an overwhelming question, or if you feel that your issues seem too much to handle, consider seeking support from a skilled sex therapist. It is possible that you realize the lack of physical intimacy is an issue that is now beyond the possibility of self-management or that intimacy has been lost for so long that you do not know where and how to begin. Similarly, if the issues that surface between one another seem much more complex than you had expected, approaching a skilled professional could be the best recourse for you.

    If you do not know where to begin, Bonobology’s panel of skilled experts is here to help you.

    Key Pointers

    • Physical intimacy in a relationship involves the physical closeness, touch, and connection shared between partners
    • It leads to the release of oxytocin, a hormone that activates the brain’s pleasure centers
    • Physical intimacy should begin only when there’s an understanding of consent and the assurance of it as well
    • Communicating openly, creating a safe space, building on emotional intimacy, respecting your partner’s body, and breaking predictability are a few ways you can increase physical intimacy
    • If the issues that surface in the relationship seem much more complex than you had expected, please seek professional support

    Try exploring the physical intimacy you have in your relationship, as it’s abundantly clear now how much of a vital role it plays in maintaining and sustaining a healthy bond. Prioritize open communication, respect boundaries, and tackle challenges actively when establishing intimacy with your partner, be it of any kind. Remember, it’s important to seek professional support if you feel there are concerns that are too complex or overwhelming for you.  Enjoy the journey and remember to take care of yourself. Be gentle and kind to yourself and your partner. Open your heart and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.

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  • How To Break Up With Someone Without Hurting Them: 10 Rules

    How To Break Up With Someone Without Hurting Them: 10 Rules

    Breaking up is one of the hardest human experiences no matter which side of the equation you’re on. And not just for you and your beau, but also for all parties involved like family and mutual friends. How to break up with someone without hurting them can be the hardest question to answer because other people’s feelings will always confound us.

    According to a New York Times article, Everyone’s Breaking Up, but Nobody’s Bitter: What’s Going On?, 2023 is the year of the celebrity split, with dozens of notable actors, singers and reality stars announcing a breakup, separation, or divorce. But “these high-profile couples are abiding by the golden rule of the schoolyard: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

    So how do you end a romantic relationship peacefully without making the person feel like they were a huge mistake in your life? Let’s find out.

    How To Nicely Break Up With Someone — 10 Golden Rules To End A Relationship Without Hurt

    You might figure out the nicest way to break up with someone, but they will still feel sad or hurt by your decision. Unfortunately, there’s no such thing as a clean break from a relationship. Ending a relationship on good terms is essential to minimize emotional pain and preserve mutual respect.

    Having the breakup conversation in person, when possible, is often the most considerate and respectful approach when you’re working out how to break up with someone without hurting them. Here are some reasons that an in-person breakup conversation is preferable when you want to end a relationship peacefully:

    • In-person communication allows you to pick up on nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions and body language
    • Such conversations can be conducted in a private and intimate setting
    • Face-to-face conversations are direct and clear
    • In-person breakups often provide a sense of closure
    • Conducting the conversation in person shows respect and empathy for your partner

    However, it’s important to consider individual circumstances. In some cases, an in-person breakup may not be safe or practical, such as in long-distance relationships or when there’s a history of abuse. In such situations, it may be necessary to choose alternative methods, such as a phone call, video chat, or text while still prioritizing sensitivity, respect, and kindness.

    Breaking up with someone over text is generally not the most ideal method, as it can come across as impersonal and hurtful. However, if you believe that an in-person or phone conversation is not safe or possible, as in breaking up with someone long distance, and you need to resort to a text message breakup, you can do so with as much empathy and kindness as possible.

    Here are 10 golden rules on how to nicely break up with someone:

    Related Reading: 18 Sample Letters For Breaking Up With Someone You Love

    1. Make sure it’s what you really want and not something that can be worked on

    A study states that the top five reasons for breakup are incompatibility, no feelings left (bored), cheating, long-distance relationship, and “family did not approve.” Is your reason one of these as well? It’s crucial to make sure that separation is the right decision and not something that the two of you can work on. Breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend for the wrong reasons is a huge mistake to say the least. However, if you tried to make the relationship work but it didn’t, don’t regret your decision.

    Deciding to end a romantic relationship is a personal, and possibly life-changing, choice that depends on individual circumstances, feelings, and priorities. But here are some possible reasons to end a relationship peacefully:

    • People break up because lack of trust can make it difficult to maintain a strong connection and has an adverse effect on your self-esteem
    • Constant conflict can create a toxic environment causing more pain in the long run
    • Incompatibility can make it challenging to sustain a healthy relationship
    • Abusive behavior is never acceptable and should be a clear signal to end the relationship
    • Infidelity is a very valid reason for ending a relationship as well

    Remember that the decision to break up with someone is a monumental one and should not be taken lightly. Seek advice and emotional support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist to help clarify things for you and ensure that your decision is well-informed and in your best interest. It may be confusing but that’s our guideline on how to break up with someone you love without hurting them.

    Related Reading: How To Know When A Relationship Is Over? 25 Signs That Indicate So

    2. To end a relationship peacefully, avoid dragging things out

    It feels impossible to look your partner in the eye and say something like, “I feel like we’re just dragging things out. I think we should go our separate ways.” But when a breakup seems imminent, it’s crucial to have the breakup conversation as soon as possible. Don’t keep a relationship on life support, despite knowing it’s time to let go. Dragging out a breakup often leads to prolonged emotional distress, confusion, and can be profoundly damaging to your mental health. Avoid getting caught up in an endless loop of asking yourself, “How do I break up with someone I still love?

    Perpetuating false hope creates an emotional rollercoaster for your partner, who may cling to the belief that things will improve, only to experience deeper disappointment when the eventual breakup occurs. Remember that it’s not possible to end a relationship without upsetting your partner. It’s far kinder to be upfront and honest about your feelings and intentions. Try to think of it like ripping off a band aid. Easier said than done — many feel that this is the hardest part of a breakup — but try your best.

    Related Reading: How To End A Long-Term Relationship? 7 Helpful Tips

    3. Be as honest as you can but also as gentle as possible

    You might be asking yourself, “How can I break up with someone I still love?” One of the key points in how to nicely break up with someone who loves you is to offer clear reasons for your decision without resorting to hurtful or accusatory language. After all, the objective here is to avoid hurting the other person’s feelings as much as possible. Here’s how to achieve that delicate balance:

    • Avoid blame: Instead of blaming your partner for the problems in the relationship, focus on expressing your feelings and how the dynamics between you have affected you
    • Use examples: It can be helpful to provide specific instances or examples of the issues that have led to the breakup
    • Focus on incompatibilities: Instead of making it about personal flaws or shortcomings, frame the conversation around fundamental incompatibilities or differences in your values, goals, or lifestyles
    • Express your needs: Discuss how your needs and expectations in the relationship are not being met
    • Listen to your partner: While you’re providing specific reasons for the breakup, remain open to your partner’s point of view and don’t speak over them

    Being specific about the issues in the relationship while maintaining a non-blaming, non-judgmental tone is crucial. This approach enables you and your partner to have a more constructive and respectful breakup conversation, making it easier to move forward, even though it’s a difficult and emotional moment. It’s effectively the nicest way to break up with someone.

    how to break up with someone you love without hurting them
    Gentle honesty is far more useful than brutal honesty

    4. Be prepared for their reaction and avoid being reactive in turn

    A breakup is an emotional and often unexpected event for the person on the receiving end. How your partner reacts can vary widely, so it’s essential to be emotionally prepared for various responses. It is an uncomfortable situation but is unavoidable. Here’s how to break up with someone you love without hurting them:

    • Anticipate a range of emotions: When you break up with a guy or a girl, they may react with a variety of emotions, including shock, sadness, anger, confusion, or disbelief
    • Try to stay centered: Regardless of their reaction, it’s important to remain calm and empathetic, and not get as emotional as your partner
    • Give them space to express themselves: Encourage your partner to share their feelings, and actively listen to what they have to say
    • Avoid invalidating the other person’s feelings: While you may not share the same emotions or perspective, it’s important not to invalidate your partner’s feelings which are raw and vulnerable
    • Set boundaries: It’s essential to set and maintain healthy boundaries, ensuring the conversation remains respectful and safe for both
    • Offer reassurance: If your partner expresses fear or concern about the future, reassure them that they will find their way through this challenging time

    Being emotionally prepared for your partner’s reaction is a crucial aspect of breaking up with someone. Remember that everyone processes emotions differently, and understanding and empathy can go a long way in helping both you and your partner navigate this emotional transition.

    Related Reading: 21 Dos And Don’ts Of Breaking Up With Your Girlfriend

    5. How to break up with someone without hurting them — Focus on your own feelings rather than their shortcomings

    When it comes to the delicate process of breaking up with the love of your life, it’s vital to center your communication on your feelings. This way, you can make the breakup conversation more compassionate and respectful. Expressing sadness, disappointment, or a sense of incompatibility allows you to share your perspective without pointing fingers. For example, saying “I feel that our connection has diminished over time” is more constructive than making accusatory statements.

    Focusing on your feelings during a breakup conversation also shows vulnerability and authenticity. It’s an acknowledgment that the decision to end the relationship isn’t about assigning blame, but rather about recognizing that your emotional needs and experiences have evolved.

    By highlighting your feelings, you invite your partner to connect with your experience on a more personal level. It encourages open dialogue, where both parties can share their emotions and, in turn, work toward mutual respect, understanding and healing. This is often overlooked when you’re figuring out how to break up with someone without hurting them.

    Breakup and lossBreakup and loss

    6. Avoid sending mixed messages if you want to break up with someone without upsetting them

    One of the critical aspects of a soft breakup is clarity in communication. Mixed signals can cause confusion, false hope, and extended emotional turmoil. This could be the hardest part of a breakup because you may feel tempted to “soften the blow” by making false promises. But here’s why it’s essential to be clear and consistent in your communication during this difficult time:

    • Emotional ambiguity is never appreciated. Mixed messages make it challenging for both of you to move on
    • You risk prolonging the emotional pain and uncertainty for both you and your partner
    • Sending mixed messages can lead to diminished trust and make it harder for your partner to trust your words and intentions in the future
    • A breakup should provide closure and allow both you and your partner to process your feelings, heal, and move forward — None of this is possible within vagueness or inconsistency
    • Clarity in communication also respects your partner’s boundaries

    Related Reading: How To Break Up With Someone Long Distance

    7. Listen to your partner and show that you understand them

    This is one of the key lessons in how to break up with someone without hurting them. When you break up with someone, you’re essentially closing a chapter on a significant part of both your lives. Listening to your partner’s response is important. Here’s why:

    • It allows them to have a voice in this decision
    • It’s an opportunity for them to share their feelings and thoughts, which can provide valuable insights into their perspective and experiences within the relationship
    • You get to apologize for any harm that you caused them
    • By actively listening, you validate your partner’s emotions, showing that you respect their right to feel the way they do. Whether they express sadness, anger, confusion, or acceptance, it’s essential to acknowledge their feelings as legitimate
    • This validation can offer them a sense of closure and can be a crucial step in the healing process
    • Listening to your partner’s response is a chance for both of you to gain insight into the impact of the relationship and the reasons for its end. This understanding can help both of you move forward with greater clarity and acceptance

    Even if the breakup is painful, this empathetic listening can create a sense of respect and dignity in the way you part ways. This is an important tip on how to break up with someone without hurting their feelings.

    Related Reading: Breaking Up With The Love Of Your Life – 11 Things You Should Consider

    8. Offer as much support and kindness without giving in

    When ending a romantic relationship, it’s essential to provide support and kindness to your partner, as it can greatly affect their emotional well-being and the overall experience of the breakup. Breakups are emotionally taxing. In this challenging phase, offering empathy and compassion can look like this:

    • Beyond emotional support, offering assistance in finding resources for healing can be invaluable
    • Thanking them sincerely for the good times while sticking to the breakup paves the way for an amicable transition and a more peaceful breakup period than you’d imagined
    • How you treat your partner during a breakup can leave a lasting impression and preserves the positive memory of the relationship
    • It helps in managing your own emotions too as supporting your partner with kindness benefits your emotional well-being
    how to break up with someone you lovehow to break up with someone you love
    A little support can go a long way in helping you and your partner heal

    9. Respect your partner’s boundaries as they grieve the relationship

    Respecting your partner’s boundaries during a breakup is a fundamental aspect of handling the situation with dignity and consideration, especially when you don’t want to unnecessarily cause your partner to feel hurt. It acknowledges their need for space, autonomy, and self-care as they process the end of the relationship. For a less tumultuous breakup experience, avoid staying friends with them until after they’ve processed the breakup.

    Individuals often need time and space to reflect, heal and process the seven stages of grief after a breakup. Respecting their boundaries means giving them the personal space and freedom to do so without feeling pressured, judged, or intruded upon.

    Disregarding boundaries can lead to unnecessary conflict and tension. This can further complicate the already challenging process of ending a relationship. Respecting your partner’s boundaries helps to minimize the potential for misunderstandings. This is crucial when you’re learning how to break up with someone without hurting their feelings.

    Related Reading: 15 Sure-Shot Signs He Is Heartbroken Over You

    10. A soft breakup entails remembering to take time for your own healing

    While much of the focus during a breakup is understandably on providing support and kindness to your partner, it’s equally essential to seek your own strength. Here’s an expanded perspective on why self-care is crucial when you’re trying to break up with someone without upsetting them:

    • Emotional coping: Breakups are emotionally taxing for both parties. Seeking emotional support for yourself – through mindfulness or people, hobbies or fitness – allows you to cope with your emotions and process the grief
    • Self-care: During a breakup, it’s easy to become so consumed with providing emotional support to your partner that you neglect your own needs
    • Perspective and guidance: Talking to friends, family, or a therapist can offer you valuable perspective and guidance
    • Empowerment: Seeking your own support empowers you to navigate the breakup with strength and resilience

    Related Reading: Why Am I Sad When I Broke Up With Him? 4 Reasons And 5 Tips To Cope

    Key Pointers

    • Breaking up with someone you love is never easy but it is possible to minimize the heartache
    • This article covers 10 rules that can help you accomplish this
    • Be honest about your feelings, avoid the blame game and listen to your partner’s feelings
    • And remember to take care of yourself through this process – a therapist or trusted friend or family member can help a great deal

    Ultimately, the 10 rules presented in this article not only offer guidance on how to nicely break up with someone but also remind us that love, in its various forms, is marked not just by its beginnings but also by its endings. By approaching the end of a relationship with empathy, integrity, and kindness, we honor the moments shared and pave the way for the possibility of new beginnings, both for ourselves and our former partners. In the realm of love, parting can be a path to personal growth and transformation, as long as it’s done with care and respect.

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  • What Are The Examples Of Narcissistic Behavior In A Relationship?

    What Are The Examples Of Narcissistic Behavior In A Relationship?

    Do you often find yourself stressing over whether you’ve hurt your partner’s ego? Do you tend to go over and beyond your means to cater to their needs, such as buying them expensive outfits, taking them out on fancy dates, or booking expensive vacations with them, but are still made to feel you aren’t doing enough? Do you often wonder if your needs are valid too and if your partner has unrealistic expectations from you? Well, each of these is a prominent example of narcissistic behavior in a relationship and we feel you may need a reality check. Your partner may be suffering from narcissistic personality disorder.

    But what can you do if you’re part of a narcissistic relationship with someone and are facing narcissistic abuse? What are narcissistic behaviors and how do they affect your relationship? Is pathological narcissism really something that can ruin your connection with your partner? How can you check such behavior and when do you need to seek help? Read on, as our expert psychologist Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couples counseling, helps us explore narcissistic relationships and throws light on some examples of narcissistic behavior in relationships.

    What Is Narcissistic Behavior?

    The very word narcissism originates from the Greek mythological character Narcissus, a hunter who apparently fell in love with his own reflection in a pool after he was punished. The name itself is perhaps self-explanatory. Narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder is a condition wherein a person showcases excessive self-importance.

    Nandita explains, “In general, narcissists are people who love themselves to an abnormal extent. But there are different types of narcissism, and the character traits and behaviors of each vary from the other.”

    Related Reading: 11 Tips To Deal With A Narcissist Boyfriend Smartly

    Before we delve deeper into the examples of narcissistic behavior in a relationship, let’s look at the 2 major types of narcissism that we generally come across:

    1. Grandiose narcissism

    This condition perhaps stems from having been mollycoddled by one’s parents or being treated as superior to one’s batchmates by teachers. People with grandiose narcissism are mostly:

    • Elitist
    • Aggressive
    • Confident in a grandiose sense
    • Devoid of empathy
    • Fond of bragging about themselves
    • Fond of dominating people around them
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    In fact, a study suggests, most people with grandiose narcissism may actually occupy leadership positions in organizations but may eventually lead those organizations to failure, owing to their overconfidence and their habit of externalizing blame.

    2. Vulnerable narcissism

    This is the second major type of narcissism, which perhaps stems from being neglected or abused as a child. Being a narcissist shields them from being mishandled. A study suggests this type of narcissism is linked to an innate fear of being laughed at. Nandita adds, “This sort of a narcissistic person has a self and an anti-self. Vulnerable narcissists seem to project high self-esteem and confidence, but that stems from low self-esteem and a desperate need for approval.” Such people are mostly:

    • More sensitive than their grandiose counterparts
    • Prone to switching between inferiority and superiority complex
    • Defensive
    • Withdrawn
    • Prone to feeling insecure and offended when they aren’t given enough attention

    Related Reading: How To Make A Narcissist Miserable – 13 Things To Do

    Now that we know what narcissistic behaviors are and how they manifest in people with narcissistic personality disorder, let’s read on and find out the signs that you’re with a narcissist.

    How To Recognize You Are With A Narcissist – 7 Signs

    We’ve seen how there can be different types of narcissism. But what are the broad narcissistic traits that you’re bound to find in a narcissistic person? A Reddit user says, “A NPD person will easily explode with rage and revenge then act surprised as to why you are upset or angry about it – you deserved it even if it wasn’t warranted.”

    However, Nandita feels, “Traits of a narcissist include a marked need for praise and attention, they love being the center of attention, they like to be admired and acknowledged. But they lack the ability to understand other people. Normally, they aren’t bad people and they can be helpful, but they lack empathy and that drives people away.” Here are some signs that you’re definitely with a narcissist:

    1. They lack listening skills

    One of the traits of a narcissist is that they hate listening to others. They wouldn’t spend a minute listening to your point of view. In fact, when they listen to you, they may:

    narcissist in a relationship
    A narcissist doesn’t care about anyone but themselves
    • Dismiss your concerns
    • Negate your emotions
    • Ignore your point of view
    • Display haughty behaviors, such as contempt or a condescending attitude
    • Minimize or diminish your feelings

    2. They interrupt and hijack conversations

    A warning sign in such cases is the lack of two-way conversations. Narcissists will invariably interrupt conversations and hijack them, turning the focus to themselves. There are more ‘I’s in a narcissist’s words than ‘We’s.

    Related Reading: Exposing A Narcissist – What You Should Know

    3. They offer one-sided criticism

    With a narcissist, you can be sure of constant criticism about your looks, career choices, or other matters, from their end, and most of it may not be constructive criticism. You can be sure they will never be completely happy with people around them. There is always something that bothers them. But try criticizing them, and they won’t spare you. They will hit you back with barbed words and make sure to hurt you.

    4. They don’t care about rules

    One of the traits of a narcissist is that they suffer from what is known as The Tall Man (or Tall Woman) Syndrome. This means, they feel they are superior to other people, be it in terms of looks, social class, professional achievements, or education.

    Related Reading: 8 Signs Of Covert Narcissist Hoovering And How You Should Respond

    This also makes them feel they aren’t made for rules or social norms. So, a narcissist may deliberately:

    • Be fashionably late at work or social gatherings
    • Break traffic rules
    • Break the queue at departmental stores
    • Quarrel with the customer care executive because they want their concerns to be addressed first

    5. They overstep boundaries

    Another of the marked traits of a narcissist is the tendency to overstep boundaries. So, it’s crucial to set healthy boundaries with them. Since narcissists are known for their grandiosity, they often consider other people around them inferior to them, thus disrespecting their boundaries. You would often find them:

    • Being least bothered about the emotions of others around them
    • Turning up at a friend’s place without informing them
    • Making promises and not keeping them
    • Borrowing items without returning them

    6. They have a sense of entitlement

    Narcissists feel entitled to special treatment. And when they don’t get the attention they think they deserve, they may:

    • Start throwing around their attitude or resort to tantrums
    • Give you negative vibes by withdrawing from the conversation or getting into an argument
    • Abuse you emotionally, by attacking your insecurities

    Related Reading: Manipulation In Relationships – 11 Subtle Signs You Are A Victim

    7. They manipulate often

    Narcissists are also master manipulators. They may appear to be friendly and charismatic, but they will eventually try and use you for:

    • Money
    • Fame
    • Connections with high-status people

    It’s all about them, and their emotional manipulation tactics never end. They hardly care about others’ feelings. Gradually, they will try and gain control of the relationship or friendship, and extract whatever they can out of you.

    But Nandita also adds, “It’s important not to label people narcissists. Each one of us has a hidden narcissistic side, whether we accept it or not. In fact, it’s good to love yourself, have self-esteem, and be acknowledged for your achievements. But the problem arises when the self-love spills over and affects others around us. That’s narcissism.”
    But how is a narcissist in general situations different from a narcissist in a relationship? Let’s find out in the next section.

    9 Examples Of Narcissistic Behavior In Relationships

    When a narcissist is ready for a relationship, they tend to attract their partners with their enigmatic and fun-loving personality. Over the years, many peer-reviewed studies have proved that narcissism leads to romantic success in short-term relationships or the early stages of dating, while it leads to major issues in long-term or close relationships. Such studies also show that the initial gestures of love in such relationships are driven by excessive admiration, while the bitterness that creeps in later is due to the narcissistic trait of rivalry driven by their ego.

    Related Reading: 11 Signs Your Husband Uses You Financially

    Nandita says, “A narcissist in a relationship would behave quite differently with their partner than they do with others around them, at least initially. It’s interesting how they put on a mask of being magnetic to trap their partners into a whirlpool of deceit and manipulation.” So, what are some examples of narcissistic behavior? Well, the following behaviors encompass 9 examples of narcissistic behavior in relationships:

    1. Grand gestures of love

    Initial narcissistic tendencies include prominent love bombing. Nandita says, “If a narcissist wants to attract a partner, they can be incredibly charming and extremely romantic with them and shower them with grand gestures of love initially, in what is known as the honeymoon phase.” In fact, they may not show arrogant and haughty behaviors at all.
    But though this may seem like a normal behavior, this is not because they are captivated by their partners. It’s also not because they want their partner to be attracted toward them. But they want to bind them in the bond of love so intensely that they won’t be able to escape later.

    Narcissist in a relationshipNarcissist in a relationship
    A narcissist doesn’t care about anyone but themselves

    So, in this phase, you may see the narcissist:

    • Spending on lavish vacations with their partners
    • Taking them out to fancy dinners
    • Buying them expensive gifts, such as jewelry and clothes

    2. Need for external validation

    Examples of narcissism in a relationship include the narcissist’s innate need for validation. Nandita says, “While the initial phase of a narcissist’s relationship is often overflowing with attention and love for their partner, soon, the partner realizes that a narcissist needs constant compliments. And as long as the compliments are coming, the relationship is great.”

    They love praises, validation, and attention. This validation feeds their ego and they feel superior to others around them and entitled to attention. Nandita adds, “In such situations, narcissists feel they deserve not just what they have but something more.”

    Related Reading: 8 Signs You Have A Controlling And Manipulative Husband

    3. Fragile ego

    A narcissistic relationship is often the victim of the narcissist’s ego. Nandita says, “As the relationship progresses, what becomes clear is that the narcissist has an unhealthy and inflated sense of self-esteem. So, you may find them getting upset or aggressive over little things.” In such cases, their ego may be hurt if you:

    • Cancel a date with them and choose to go out with friends instead
    • Engage in light banter and tease them
    • Wear an outfit gifted by your mother on your anniversary instead of the one they gifted you

    4. Jealousy

    Examples of narcissism in a relationship also include jealous behavior. Narcissists, especially narcissistic men, tend to be excessively jealous in relationships. It’s a combination of their narcissistic ego and male ego. So, a mere conversation with a male friend at a party may turn them green with jealousy. It’s also worth mentioning here that narcissists view their partners as a means to an end or an ego-boosting mechanism, and if someone else gets their attention, there’s no end to
    a narcissist’s jealousy.

    Related Reading: Personal Space In A Relationship Holds It Together

    5. The blame game

    Narcissistic tendencies also include blaming and shaming. Narcissists don’t ever take accountability for their actions. If things go south, they are always ready to blame their partners. So, be sure that when a problem arises in a romantic relationship, a narcissist is most likely to:

    • Stonewall their partners or give them the silent treatment to punish them
    • Hurt them emotionally
    • Never apologize for their actions

    6. Spending a lot on themselves

    A narcissistic relationship may suffer from a narcissist’s over-indulgence in themselves. Yes, appearances are important for narcissists, be it their social image on Instagram or in front of their friends. So, any narcissist, be it a guy or a girl, tends to overspend on themselves, even at the cost of ignoring their partner’s concerns or neglecting their emotional needs. So, you may find a narcissist:

    • Splurging on vacations just to put up an attractive feed on Instagram
    • Spend on self-grooming products
    • Focus excessively on fitness

    7. Affairs

    A narcissistic relationship may also bear the brunt of a narcissist’s flirtatious ways. Yes, narcissists can be excessively jealous when their partners even hint at flirting with others, but they tend to be so hungry for attention and adulation, they may end up flirting with everyone they fancy, just to feel special and important. So, a narcissist may tend to have affairs easily and may be emotionally unavailable for their partner.

    8. Need for control

    Narcissism examples also include the narcissist’s controlling behaviors. In fact, the narcissist’s need for control in a romantic relationship may manifest in a variety of factors. So, when they don’t get enough attention, they may:

    • Resort to histrionics, such as yelling or wailing
    • Gaslight you, i.e., make you feel confused, feel insecure, or doubt your sanity by negating your feelings
    • Isolate you from your friends or family members, thus making you emotionally vulnerable to their manipulation
    • Make you feel guilty for addressing your own needs

    Related Reading: How Not To Fall For A Narcissist And Suffer In Silence

    9. Leaving their partners before they leave them

    Examples of narcissistic behavior in a relationship also include the narcissist’s will to abruptly end such relationships. In narcissistic relationships, narcissists are with their hosts as long as they need them to feed their ego or cater to some need. And a narcissist doesn’t easily let their partner quit on them or leave them for healthier relationships, unless they themselves decide to quit. So, a narcissist may, when they realize they can be left, resort
    to:

    • Love bombing again to get them back
    • Make the breakup emotionally and financially costly, by giving them expensive gifts or tugging at their past memories
    • Put up a fake show of love on social media

    What To Do And When To Seek Help?

    Now that we’ve given you a clear picture of some prominent narcissism examples, are you wondering what you can do about it? So, when does a narcissist’s partner need to seek help? Nandita says, “Dating a narcissist can be emotionally draining for anyone. The partner may end up being gaslit and exploited. One would often feel lonely and controlled in the relationship with a narcissist. What’s interesting is that they may face narcissistic abuse, but the abuse may not be direct or visible. It may not even lead to physical abuse.” Here’s what you can do if you often wonder how to deal with a narcissist boyfriend or girlfriend:

    1. Recognize narcissistic relationship patterns

    Nandita suggests, “Try and find out on what level of narcissism your partner operates. Remember, the narcissist won’t admit they are a narcissist.” Find out if it’s turning out to be too much for you. Or is it at a level that can be addressed and healed?

    On NarcissismOn Narcissism

    2. Communicate

    It’s important to locate what the narcissism has stems from. Open communication is crucial in such cases. Try to dissect their lives a bit and find out if the narcissism is in fact due to a deep-seated emotional vulnerability or childhood trauma. Address it accordingly.

    3. Decide if you want to stay

    Nandita says, “Once you figure out what’s causing their narcissism, it’s important to decide whether you wish to stay or move on. Ask yourself if you’re okay with the level of narcissism your partner shows and wish to help them recover.” If not, move on and away from the emotional abuse.

    Related Reading: 7 Reasons Why Narcissists Can’t Maintain Intimate Relationships

    4. Build your own self-worth

    If you indeed decide that you need a way out, step out and build your self-worth. Nandita suggests, “Try to counter the gaslighting and manipulation tactics by developing your own self-esteem. Also be self-compassionate. It’s important to take care of your own emotions, as you may not have received empathy from your narcissistic partner.” You can do this by:

    • Creating a network of friends to rely on for emotional support
    • Focusing on your life goals, such as your career, interests, and passion
    • Creating healthy boundaries, so that no partner can penetrate them easily
    • Taking care of both your physical and mental health
    • Focusing on self-care
    • Working on your own behavior and building your self-confidence to help you say “No.”
    • Not letting self-doubt cloud your mind

    5. Seek professional help

    Nandita suggests, “In a long-term relationship with a narcissistic partner, where it may not be so easy to just quit on your partner, seek guidance and help.” In fact, it’s important to cut off such abuse and safeguard your mental health instead, as narcissism itself is one of the most toxic mental health conditions. And what better way can there be to get help than consult a professional counselor or a mental health professional? In fact, a licensed therapist or a clinical psychologist may be your best bet in such cases. Bonobology’s panel of expert counselors are here to help you.

    Key Pointers

    • There are 2 major types of narcissism: grandiose and vulnerable narcissism. And each has distinct characteristics
    • Some signs that you’re with a narcissist are their lack of listening skills, their tendency to dominate conversations, their entitlement, their one-sided criticism, and their lack of concern for rules
    • What are some examples of narcissistic behavior? A narcissist in a relationship behaves differently with their partner initially. They start off with excessive love and affection
    • Once they have their partner in control, they reveal a lot of traits, such as the need for external validation, their fragile ego, the need for control, the tendency to cheat, and the habit of splurging on themselves
    • Partners can address these issues by recognizing the narcissistic relationship patterns, finding out the root cause, deciding whether to stay or leave, working on their own self-worth, seeking outside support from a close network of friends, and consulting a counselor or a mental health professional to safeguard their mental health

    Yes, narcissism is one of the most toxic personality disorders. But we hope you aren’t still wondering, “What are narcissistic behaviors?” We also hope you now know how to deal with a narcissist boyfriend or girlfriend. Yes, it’s important to be aware of your partner’s needs. But remember, when you’re in a relationship, it should feel good. Don’t let a narcissist abuse you to insanity. Once you identify an example of narcissistic behavior in a relationship or realize you’re being manipulated or gaslit by your narcissistic partner, it’s time to take a good look at the relationship and decide whether you’re better off without it. Take some time out for self- care and reflect on what you’re going through. After all, nobody is worth sleepless nights that leave you wondering whether you’re worth true love.

    FAQs

    1. How does a narcissist treat their partner?

    A narcissist initially tends to lovebomb their partner with grand gestures. But once the relationship progresses, they start gaslighting and manipulating their partners. They also demand excessive attention from their partners and act up if they don’t get it.

    2. What is the love language of a narcissist?

    The narcissist is attached to a person as long as they get something out of the relationship, be it fame, money, or social status. In that sense, the narcissistic love language consists of selfish motives that need to be achieved by any means. The narcissist, however, reacts strongly if their partners are remotely selfish.

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