Long before Taylor Swift bandied the phrase, âAnd, baby, thatâs show business for youâ in honor of her forthcoming album, The Life of a Showgirl, JADE had announced the title of her debut as Thatâs Showbiz Baby. A record she had started to work on, even in its roughest incarnation, around 2022. Meaning that it took three years for her to finally âbirth it out.â A measured decision on her part in that she didnât want to follow in the footsteps of Little Mix, releasing a record almost every year since 2012 in a bid to âstay relevant.â So it was that she took a little more time to find her own voice as a solo artist, working with everyone from Jodie Harsh to Tove Lo during the process. The result might not necessarily be a âsonically cohesiveâ album, but it is an album that is uniquely and decidedly âJADE.â
To immediately carve out her solo identity, she kicks off the record with âAngel of My Dreams,â a track that, by now, the masses are well acquainted with. As the first taste of what she was capable of on her own, it revealed that JADE was unafraid to make a daring and meta statement about the industry she canât help but love despite the way it chews up and spits out pop stars on an almost monthly basis. One day, your âshtickâ might be all the rage, and the next itâs not drawing in enough âsalesâ (whatever that means anymore). As for the haunting use of the Sandie Shaw sample at the beginning of the song, like Addison Rae, JADE has described herself as a âstudent of pop.â That shines through in manifold ways throughout the record, and it begins with harnessing Shawâs âPuppet on a Stringâ to commence âAngel of My Dreams.â
As for the love for the music industry that (mostly) outshines the hate on âAngel of My Dreams,â it quickly gives way to outright hate on âIT Girl,â during which JADE (once again) mimics the average suit by urging, all Faustian-like, in the first verse, âSign on the line for me/Baby, smile, but donât show your teeth/Say goodbye to autonomy/Now your body belongs to me.â But, whereas the JADE of the early Little Mix days might have been âcontentâ to go along with that oppressive, âdo as I sayâ bit, the JADE of the present bites back, âKitty got fangs and kitty got claws/Clause in the contract, contract gone/Gone is the girl that you could con, con.â
As if that werenât enough of a âfuck youâ (and not just âfor nowâ), JADE delivers another coup de grĂące via the chorus, âIâm not your thing/Iâm not your baby doll/No puppet on a string/This bitch canât be controlled/Iâm not, Iâm not, Iâm not your thing/No puppet on a string.â That âpuppet on a stringâ mention reminding listeners that her Sandie Shaw love didnât stop with âAngel of My Dreamsâ (whatâs more, âPuppet on a Stringâ is the connection that helps so closely ârelateâ these two songs to the point where they feel like âcompanionâ piecesâas such, itâs no wonder JADE called âIT Girlâ the âcunty little sisterâ to âAngel of My Dreamsâ). After all, why waste an opportunity to repeat this metaphor for what itâs so often like to be a pop star? Particularly of the more âmanufacturedâ variety that comes out of shows like The X Factor, which rejected JADE twice when she auditioned before finally accepting her in 2011, placing her in a group that was initially called Rhythmix (the group later changed their name to Little Mix when a music charity based in Brighton with the same name wanted to get legal about it). Incidentally, she wasnât planning to audition for the third timeâit was her older brother that encouraged her to try again. And, were it not for his nudge, JADE would have given up the dream and pursued a degree in theater production âand stuff.â
Luckily for the music industry, the third time was the charm. Though it wasnât exactly âgreatâ that JADE was just coming off a very vulnerable moment in her life, having recently been discharged from the hospital for her anorexia when she got the news of her acceptance. Indeed, JADE remarked earlier this year, âIn retrospect, if the show had done a proper mental health assessment, then they wouldnât have let me on.â But then, that was probably JADEâs first glimpse into how little âthe industryâ cares about an artistâs physical or emotional well-being. And so, the shade thrown at The X Factor reaches a peak with the last line of âIT Girl,â âItâs a no from me.â
Itâs also a ânoâ from JADE when it comes to putting up with any bullshit in a relationship, detailing that moment in an argument when one person finally snaps (more than the other) and declares, in no uncertain terms, âBaby, back off out my face right now/Donât you tell me to calm down/No more words, just âfuck youâ for now.â In other words, JADE needs to cool off before she can even think about talking to her bloke again. Especially after all the patience sheâs shown him before. Or, as JADE summed it up, ââFUFNâ is the escalation of an argument weâve all had, knowing itâs not the end but feeling all the anger in the moment. Itâs the channeling of female rage into a badass big pop banger.â As for those speculating as to who inspired the track, surprisingly it wasnât one of JADEâs exes (e.g., Sam Craske or Jed Elliott), but rather, her current boyfriend, Jordan Stephens (in case you didnât already know). As JADE tells it, â[The concept] stemmed from actually having a dream about my boyfriend cheating on me and then waking up the next day fuming. So thatâs how it kind of began⊠Itâs quite relatable, weâre all guilty of being fiery and arguing and then afterwards being, âMaybe, it wasnât that big of a deal.ââ
But during the period when it does feel like a really big fucking deal, itâs only too believable to hear JADE warn, âIâm about to hit you with the worst of me/I donât want your angry text/I donât want your sorry sex/I just want you out my fuckinâ face.â Because, yes, every woman, sooner or later, reaches this kind of inevitable breaking point in a relationshipâparticularly when itâs a long-term one that keeps hitting the same walls without any sign of either party making a change. So it is that those caught in this type of dynamic keep having such flare-ups, often leading to the break up-and-make up pattern (hear also: Sabrina Carpenterâs âWe Almost Broke Up Again Last Nightâ). Perhaps because the thought of âstarting over yet againâ (to borrow a fake book title from Sex and the City) means having to go through the rigmarole of being jealous of the new personâs ex. This being the very topic that JADE explores on the following track, âPlastic Box.â
And while some might make a certain connection to Olivia Rodrigoâs âObsessedâ (on which she sings, âIâm so obsessed with your exâ), JADE is less focused on the former girlfriend in question (presumably, Amber Anderson) and more on the idea of how her current boyfriend loved someone so vehemently before her. Which is why JADE described the theme as being âabout the irrational and toxic insecurity within us when we think about our partnerâs previous relationships.â Ergo, her unabashed request, âCan I have your heart in a plastic box?/Never used, fully clean, untouched/Like Iâm the only one youâve ever loved.â
In a way, itâs like the female version of how some guys still bristle over a womanâs sexual history, preferring instead that itâs her vag which remains âfully cleaned, untouched.â In any event, JADE has billed ââPâ Boxâ as âone of [her] favorite songs [sheâs] ever written.â High praise like that might make one think it would be a very tough act to follow, but no, âMidnight Cowboyâ more than delivers (and is, in truth, much more sensual than Selena Gomez and Benny Blancoâs plain âCowboyâ from I Said I Love You First), in no small part thanks to some lyrical contributions from none other than RAYE (everyoneâs doing mononyms in all caps nowadays), who also co-wrote âFUFN,â and JADEâs own aforementioned boyfriend, Jordan Stephens. But what really puts the cherry on top (apart from spoken word contributions by Ncuti Gatwa) is the rhythmic basslineâproduced by additional co-writers of the song Jonah Christian and Stephen Mykalâthat practically oozes the feeling of sweating it out on the dance floor while grinding up against any number of randos (and here, too, another Carpenter song comes to mind: âWhen Did You Get Hot?â).
With such a sound, the lyrics must accordingly keep up with the sexual tone. So it is that JADE refers to herself as the ârideâ for a midnight cowboy (also a film allusion), announcing, âIâm a real wild bitch, yeah, Iâm mental/Iâm the ride of your life, not a rental/Iâm the editor, call me Mr. Enninful.â This being a very specific kind of kink (and for those who didnât guess, âMr. Enninfulâ is Edward Enninful, the former editor-in-chief of British Vogue and the former European editorial director of CondĂ© Nast, Vogueâs âparentâ company). To be sure, JADE wants to keep it nothing but kinky as she sings the additional disclaimer, âNo vanilla, letâs experimental.â And so, itâs quite possible that not since Ginuwineâs 1996 hit, âPony,â has a song wielding such strong innuendos about cowboys and rides been this sexy. Complete with such verses as, âIâma saddle him up, hold him down, Iâma saddle him up/Fantasy, leather chaps on the floor.â
And, speaking of âfantasy,â itâs not only the song that fittingly succeeds âMidnight Cowboy,â but also served as the second single from Thatâs Showbiz Baby, leaning into the only musical trend more common than country right now: disco. To match the sonic landscape, JADE tapped David LaChappelle to direct the Soul Train-inspired video, during which JADE does her best impression of Diana Ross (who also gets another nod on the album via âBefore You Break My Heartâ)âthough she said it was Donna Summerâs vocal stylings she was trying to channel the most. Granted, Diana Ross gives way to Carrie White (to keep the 70s references coming) by the end of the video. And besides, who but Carrie W. can better understand sentiments like, âPassion, pain/Pleasure, no shame/If you like it weird, I like it strangeâ? That is, except for Tinashe, who goes into similar territory when she asks, âIs somebody gonna match my freak?â on 2024âs âNasty.â
Even so, JADE continues to cite Donna Summer (âmeets MGMT meets Beth Dittoâ) as an influence on the next track, âUnconditional,â which may arguably among the best tracks the album has to offer (which is really saying something considering that each one is a banger). As a love letter to her mother, Norma, who has suffered from lupus for years, JADE promises, âI will hold your hand forever/Even if my heart explodes/Unconditional/I canât put you back together/But Iâll always love you so.â That phrase about âalways lovingâ something also appearing in âAngel of My Dreamsâ (âI will always love you and hate youâ)âso clearly JADE is occasionally at war with who (and what) she must always love the most. But âUnconditionalâ makes it apparent that her mother would (probably) win out every time against show business. Especially if JADEâs âSelf Saboteurâ behavior transferred from her personal life to her professional life.
But no, as âSelf Saboteurâ is sure to emphasize, JADE has a greater tendency to sabotage a romance than a gig. Maybe thatâs why she wastes no time in getting straight to the heart of the matter with her opening announcement, âIâm always fuckinâ it up, self saboteur/I know Iâm worthy of love, but I hit and run/I hate when I give up/I donât get hurt if I hurt you first.â Or, as MARINA (another all caps mononym lover), back when she was Marina and the Diamonds, once said on âHow to Be a Heartbreaker,â âRule number one is that you gotta have fun/But, baby, when youâre done/You gotta be the first to run/Rule number two, just donât get attached to/Somebody you could lose.â
In addition to some MARINA vibes here, thereâs also an air of Selena Gomez, intionation-wise, with the part of the song where she sings, âYouâre bringinâ heaven to meâ sounding a lot like, âCanât keep my hands to myselfâ (the chorus from Gomezâs 2015 single, âHands to Myselfâ). As for the rest of the chorus of âSelf Saboteurâ (which should, in truth, be âSelf Saboteuseâ), JADE further laments, âWhy do I put me through hell?/Iâm feelinâ shackled and free/Iâm fuckinâ scared, can you tell?â Which is when the Britney Spears influence seems to appear, for thereâs no denying that the motif of âSometimesâ is all over this as well (âSometimes I run, sometimes I hide/Sometimes Iâm scared of you/But all I really want is to hold you tight, treat you right/Be with you day and night/Baby, all I need is timeâ).
JADEâs vulnerable side quickly dissipates as âSelf Saboteurâ transitions into âLip Service,â which, in essence, amounts to JADEâs version of Sabrina Carpenterâs âSugar Talkingâ (or is it Sabrina Carpenterâs version of âLip Serviceâ considering JADE co-wrote this song before hers?). With both women talking about the mouths and lips of men in a way that definitely doesnât pertain to using them for âcommunicationâ (because, quelle surprise, JADE is not using the term âlip serviceâ in the conventional sense). Though, of course, communication can be achieved, letâs say, nonverbally. Which is all that both JADE and Carpenter are really asking for, with the former telling her would-be boo, âYou know Iâm thirsty for a kiss/Give me a picture of yourâ/You say you never had a vibe like this/So fuck your friends and come and vibe with me instead/In my bed, get ahead/I make my moves on you and then I know you canât/Take your eyes off me/Letâs get loose, loose, yĐ”ah.â Such âsaucinessâ isnât entirely helmed by JADEâs mind. She had a bit of help from the one and only Tove Lo, which makes sense considering that Tove is not just a woman who prides herself on oral sex- and sex positive-centric songs, but also a woman with an album called Blue Lips (the feminine version of blue balls). Also serving as co-writers are TimFromTheHouse (Toveâs frequent collaborator), Johan Salomonsson and, once again, MNEK.
So yes, Carpenter is very much being given a run for her money in terms of songs about wanting to be eaten out and lyrics laden with double meanings and innuendos, with âLip Serviceâ making âSugar Talkingâ sound positively chaste by comparison (e.g., âYour sugar talking isnât working tonight/Put your loving where your mouth isââbecause, obviously, she, too, just wants some head).
But perhaps all these âdemandsâ from JADE (and women in general) are what give men a âHeadache,â the title of the next track. Something JADE feels inclined to acknowledge as she tells the object of her affection (presumably Stephens), âHeadache like a drill inside your brain/Headache âcause Iâm driving you insane/Most people couldnât tolerate this/Iâm such a headache, but you love me anyway.â Such is the nature of true love (or maybe resigned love, in many instances). As another up-tempo, club-ready track, JADE once more taps into 70s and funk-inspired sounds, with Sabath entirely in charge of the production on it. And, as is typical with just about every JADE song, its tone and musical style changes tack entirely at another point, concluding with a âdream rockâ kind of sound as JADE repeats, âYou still love meâ in a manner thatâs less declarative and more like a spell that commands her boyfriend to continue loving her no matter how much of a headache she might be.
Of course, as has been a trend on the record, âHeadacheâ segues into a song that provides an âinverseâ kind of theme, with âNatural at Disasterâ instead turning the lens of focus onto a boyfriend who sounds like far more of a headache than JADE. And this stems from, as the listener is informed from the get-go, how âitâs hard to love you when you hate yourself/Canât be there for you without negatively impacting my mental healthâ and that âtryna fix you made me break myself.â So it is that JADE channels Selena Gomez anew in that sheâs effectively telling this man, âI needed to lose you to love me.â Because, a person who doesnât love themselves usually canât love someone else (or, as RuPaul likes to say, âIf you canât love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?â). Worse still, they tend to transfer their own self-hate to the other person. Starting out calmly, the song crescendos in a big way during the chorus, with JADE serving Billie Eilish on the third verse of âHappier Than Everâ as she sings, ââCause you were all snakes, no ladders/Youâre happiest when you make me sadder/Tried to help you, but it didnât matter/Youâre a natural at disaster.â Which, one supposes, is better than being the âQueen of Disaster.â
As for the abovementioned Taylor Swift correlation, JADE brings it back to the fore with âGlitch,â which is also the title of track eighteen on the â3am Editionâ of Swiftâs Midnights. But, unlike, er, Taylorâs version, JADEâs is hardly a love song (nor is it about the irresistibility of going from friends to lovers). In fact, itâs more of a âfuck off to the negative voice inside your headâ anthem (in lieu of a âfuck you for nowâ one). This made all the more apparent by the chorus, âYouâre just a glitch/Get out of my head, get out of my fuckinâ skin/Youâre telling me liĐ”s, telling me how it is/Sick of you talking to me like Iâm your bitch/When Iâm that bitch.â To create the effect of a âglitched outâ vocal sound, co-producers Lostboy and Inverness give JADE an assist. All in service of emphasizing her intent with the track, which is to do everything in her power to eliminate the âglitchâ of negative self-talk. And, as she stated on Itâs Out, âItâs actually me just talking to myself, like, gettinâ in my own head, which I sometimes do, Iâm sure everyoneâs been there where you kind of have a bit of an imposter syndrome, so that song is basically me having a go at myself like, âStop it. Stop doing that to yourself.ââ Indeed, this is the type of âbopâ that Charli XCX and Lorde could get on board with.
Though not so much the more disco-fied dance aura of âBefore You Break My Heart,â yet another standout of Thatâs Showbiz Baby. As well as a track that persists in proving just how serious JADE is about pop music history, in all its forms. For The Supremes can easily be considered one of the first âgirl groups,â long before the likes of Little Mix entered the fray. And so, tapping into her inner Diana Ross energy (just as she did for the âFantasyâ video), JADE pleads, âYouâre the dream that Iâve had for so long/Youâre the one who inspired all my love songs/And now youârĐ” tryinâ to leave/Itâs a crime to mĐ”, call the love police/You keep hurting me, Iâm begginâ you to/Stop!/In the name of love/Before you break my heart.â
To play up the notion of Thatâs Showbiz Baby tapping into all the different âJadesâ that have existed in order to make this one rise from the ashes, Sabath repurposed a home video of JADE singing The Supremesâ hit for a talent show when she was a child to use for the famed chorus, now as rendered by JADE. Something that she rightly felt was âreally special,â as she told NME, and how, as a result, itâs also clear that âthe songâs about me sort of not forgetting my younger self and how, like, far weâve come together, not losing sight of that in this showbiz world.â
Not to mention how far sheâs come as a âstudent of pop.â And, as any such person knows, itâs always best to round out an album with a slow jam like âSilent Disco,â which comes across as an unvarnished love song to Stephens. Embodying the same kind of breathy vocals as FKA Twigs, JADE informs her âspecial someone,â âOh, when you make love to me/With a passion, blow the roof off/Baby, these stars are blushing.â This before diving into a chorus that speaks to how, so often, the language between two lovers is arcane, as though theyâre dancing to music that others simply canât hear. This conveyed by JADE pronouncing, âAnd itâs our private party/Might look a little stupid to them, but to us, itâs something/And I love it/Our silent disco, we madĐ”.â Naturally, there are some who might still to interpret it as being about her relationship with her fans. A dynamic thatâs only bound to intensify now that her debut record is out, chronicling the life of a showgirl in all its lurid detail.