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Tag: criminals

  • Trump didn’t write ‘only criminals carry guns.’ It’s fake.

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    After federal immigration agents shot and killed Alex Pretti in Minneapolis, social media users shared a screenshot of what appeared to be a Truth Social post, leaving some people confused about an apparent shift in President Donald Trump’s gun control views. 

    But Trump never shared such a post. It was fabricated. 

    X, Facebook and Threads users shared on Jan. 24 and 25 images of the supposed Truth Social post and tagged the National Rifle Association’s social media accounts. 

    “He had a gun, only criminals carry guns on our streets, we need law and order. Thank you for your attention to this matter. President Donald J. Trump,” reads what looks like a screenshot of the Truth Social post. 

    (Screenshot of a Threads post showing a fabricated Truth Social post.)

    A Facebook user shared the screenshot in a Facebook group writing, “Yo, Second Amendment bros. I’m so confused.”

    This post is not on Trump’s Truth Social account or in an archive that saves his current and deleted Truth Social posts. 

    After Pretti was killed, Trump posted a picture and long message on Truth Social, writing, “This is the gunman’s gun, loaded (with two additional full magazines!), and ready to go – What is that all about?”

    The NRA issued a “fake news alert” on X advising users not to believe the screenshot of the Truth Social post circulating online.

    “As bad actors among us attempt to further divide our country, it is now more important than ever to be vigilant against AI-generated content meant to mislead Americans,” the NRA wrote Jan. 25.

    We rate the claim that Trump posted on Truth Social that “only criminals carry guns on our streets” Pants on Fire!

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  • Applebees Dine and Dash Dumbass

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    A Highway to Half-Baked tale of karma, five entrees, and the worst item to leave behind

    There are dine-and-dash stories, and then there are you really didn’t think this through stories. This one belongs firmly in the second category, right alongside bank robbers who drop their wallet and people who Google “how to commit crime” from their own phone.

    According to BroBible, a server at Applebee’s shared a home-video-style story that has been making the rounds online, mostly because it checks every Highway to Half-Baked box: mild suspicion, bad decisions, accidental karma, and a manager who absolutely refused to help someone dodge consequences.

    The setup: vibes were… off

    The server, Josh Barker, says it started like a perfectly normal shift. A woman comes in with two young kids, and right away he’s doing that internal server math — not accusing anyone of anything, just quietly observing and taking notes in his head like every restaurant worker learns to do.

    He wasn’t even sure what the relationship was. Mom? Older sister? Babysitter? Some kind of chaotic aunt situation? Hard to say. But she’s ordering confidently, for herself and the kids, and by the time the order is in, they’ve somehow landed on five full-size entrees for three people.

    That’s not illegal. It’s just… ambitious.

    Still, he talks himself down. Maybe she’s got money. Maybe it’s a treat night. Maybe she’s just hungry in a way only Applebee’s menus can inspire. No weird attitude, no sketchy energy, nothing that screams “this is about to go sideways.”

    The dash part of dine-and-dash

    Josh comes back out later and — surprise — the table is empty. No goodbye. No check paid. Just the lingering smell of reheated appetizers and the quiet realization every server dreads: yep, that just happened.

    At this point, the story could’ve ended like a thousand other restaurant walk-outs. Server sighs. Manager comps the check. Life goes on. But this one had a sequel.

    Because as Josh is processing the loss, a table waiting in the lobby flags him down and says something that instantly changes the tone.

    “Hey… that woman just left her phone on the seat.”

    Karma enters the booth

    That’s the moment the story officially veers off the highway and straight into Half-Baked territory.

    Not her wallet.
    Not a receipt.
    Not sunglasses.

    The modern human life source. The one object people panic over if it’s missing for more than thirty seconds. The thing that contains your identity, your contacts, your photos, your apps, your location, and — crucially — your ability to pretend this never happened.

    Josh immediately recognizes it for what it is: pure, accidental karma.

    And to his credit, he doesn’t do anything dumb. He doesn’t snoop. He doesn’t keep it. He doesn’t post about it first. He does exactly what a reasonable person does when fate hands them evidence wrapped in an OtterBox.

    He puts the phone in the office.

    Then he leaves a sticky note.
    Then a copy of the receipt.
    Then another note explaining it was a walk-out, with the date, the time, and instructions that basically amount to: If she comes back, deal with it.

    The retrieval attempt

    Later on, a man shows up asking for the phone.

    And here’s where management enters the chat.

    The manager listens, looks at the situation, and delivers what might be the most satisfying sentence in the entire story:

    “No. She has to come get it herself.”

    That’s it. No yelling. No drama. No public confrontation. Just a hard stop. If you want your phone back, you don’t get to send a proxy like this is a medieval hostage exchange.

    You walked out.
    You left your phone.
    You come back.

    Internet jury deliberation

    Naturally, the internet immediately split into factions.

    One side applauded the manager for standing firm, calling it consequences, accountability, and a rare example of someone not bending just to make things easier.

    The other side floated hypotheticals. What if she needed the phone for the kids? What if it was a mistake? What if the guy was trying to help?

    All valid questions — but none of them erase the core issue: you don’t accidentally forget to pay and accidentally forget your phone while ordering five entrees and walking out on a $120 bill.

    That’s not an oops. That’s a strategy with a flaw.

    Why this went viral

    This story works because it’s relatable without being heavy. Nobody got hurt. Nobody got arrested. No one overreacted. It’s just a clean example of someone making a series of bad decisions and being undone by the most predictable oversight imaginable.

    If you’re going to dine and dash, you can forget a lot of things.
    Your dignity.
    Your morals.
    Your sense of right and wrong.

    But forgetting your phone?

    That’s not criminal mastermind energy.
    That’s Highway to Half-Baked.

    And somewhere in an Applebee’s office, a phone sat quietly next to a sticky note, waiting for its owner to decide whether the bill was worth getting her life back.

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    Jim O’Brien

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  • Book Review: Last Chance Live! By Helena Haywoode Henry

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    It has been far too long since we’ve read a speculative novel as powerful and political as Helena Haywoode Henry’s debut novel, Last Chance Live! This book centers around a reality TV show of the same name starring ten death row inmates between the ages of 18 to 21. The winner gains clemency, and the losers receive the death penalty within a week of exiting the show.

    Last Chance Live! has all the makings of any popular reality show: drama, sabotage, secrets, and betrayals. Viewers root for and decide which contestant deserves a second chance at freedom. It sparks conversations among the general public and readers of which capital crimes can be forgiven, especially when the perpetrators are so young.

    We sped through Last Chance Live! within a day, and we have a feeling it’ll stick with us for years to come. Its social commentary and themes of justice, mercy, and agency are too compelling to ignore. Here are three things that stood out to us about Helena Haywoode Henry’s Last Chance Live!

    Last Chance Live by Helena Haywoode Henry
    Image Source: Penguin Random House

    Book Overview: Last Chance Live!

    Content warnings: death, murder, death penalty, suicide, suicidal thoughts, bodies/corpses, prison, graphic violence, gore, torture, rape, sexual abuse, cutting, bullying, fatphobia, slurs, guns, car accident, attempted arson, swearing (Please read at your discretion!)

    Summary: Last Chance Live! is the most popular reality show in America—and eighteen-year-old death row inmate Eternity Price’s last chance to live. Getting cast on the show could win her clemency preventing her execution… if she can convince the viewing audience she deserves a second chance. The catch? If America doesn’t vote for her, she loses the chance to appeal her sentence, and she’ll be executed within a week of being eliminated from the show. And since Eternity’s been unpopular her whole life, she’s terrified America won’t pick her. But any chance of getting out of prison and back to her little brother Sincere, no matter how slim, is better than rotting away in her cell.

    Eternity never expected to find her first real friends in a reality TV house full of people battling for survival after being convicted of capital crimes, but that’s exactly what happens. So when she gets the opportunity to sabotage them and secure her own victory, she has a choice to make: protect the friendships and acceptance she’s always longed for at the cost of her own life, or sacrifice her newfound community. Eternity must ultimately decide what forgiveness, family, and freedom mean to her, and how far she’ll go to win a game where the stakes are literally life or death.

    The Show’s Contestants

    Last Chance Live! gives us a diverse group of young convicted criminals with a wide range of crimes. When we watch any reality show (or in this case, read about it), it’s easy to root for more than one contestant to win. But when the show’s sole winner gets freedom for a new life and the rest inevitably gets the death penalty, we learned not to get too attached to the characters. Even so, we had so many conflicted feelings toward each person, especially after the reveal of their crime. Like Eternity, the more the show went on, the more we wanted multiple contestants to survive and make it out.

    Eternity’s Strategies

    When the cast of Last Chance Live! are all death row inmates, it’s safe to say there are a lot of morally gray areas to consider. Eternity and the other contestants are fighting for their literal lives. They need to curry favor with the public, making sure their image on the show gives them the most votes. They also need to be ruthless no matter what. Eternity learns this the hard way after trying to set up an alliance with all the Black contestants. She twists and sabotages her way through each vote, somehow making it farther than she expected. But things come to a head when she starts to see how much her actions affect others, and she doesn’t only want herself to win anymore.

    The Narration In Verse

    Another thing that stood out to us in Last Chance Live! is the use of verse in Eternity’s narration. These poems allow us to slow our reading and really take in each word. We aren’t quite sure if there are any clear patterns behind each section of verse. And we never know when they’ll happen. They’re abrupt, cutting in to the prose and then reverting right back almost as if they didn’t happen. This unabridged access to Eternity’s thoughts puts us directly into her shoes, feeling her anxiety and terror as a result of her environment. Now we’re the ones in survival mode—in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode.

    It didn’t take much for us to be hooked on Helene Haywoode Henry’s chilling speculative novel, Last Chance Live! From its themes of justice and agency to its masterful characterization and narration, we already want to reread it and uncover even more layers.

    Last Chance Live! by Helena Haywoode Henry comes out October 7th, and you can order a copy of it here!

    What do you think of the concept behind Last Chance Live! by Helena Haywoode Henry? Did you connect with her debut novel as much as we did? Let us know on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram!

    Want to hear some of our audiobook recommendations? Here’s the latest!

    Interested in more book reviews? We got you!

    TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HELENA HAYWOODE HENRY:
    INSTAGRAM | WEBSITE

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    Julie Dam

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  • Alcatraz U Unveils Crimecentric Degree – Ted Holland, Humor Times

    Alcatraz U Unveils Crimecentric Degree – Ted Holland, Humor Times

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    Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

    The President of Alcatraz U has introduced an all-new “Crimecentric Degree Program” to advance the careers of its inmates.

    “Anyone can learn to be a criminal,” stated Dr. #427895, President of Alcatraz University.

    Alcatraz
    Home of scenic Alcatraz U. Photo by Don Ramey Logan, CC BY-SA 3.0.

    “In the near future, the well-educated criminal will rule the world. To that end, Alcatraz University is proud to announce that enrollment is now open for our Crimecentric Degree Program. In 18 months, anyone can earn a Master of Criminal Activity Degree,” said the university president.

    Dr. #427895 said the the program contains all the basics of criminal activity. Courses include:

    • How to Steal Anything
    • Criminal Activity for Kids Under 12
    • Basic Stickup Techniques
    • The ABC’s of B&E
    • Carjacking 101
    • The Lost Art of Picking Pockets and Purse Snatching
    • The Art of Shoplifting
    • How to Recruit, Organize and Manage a Smash and Grab Posse
    • Mexican Border Coyote People Smuggling Techniques
    • Drug Cartel Management
    • Basics of Phone Scamming
    • Basics of Online Scamming
    • Shoot anybody, Anytime, Anywhere
    • Fentanyl for Fun and Profit
    • Meth Lab Maintenance
    • Hedge Fund Embezzlement
    • Build Your Own Ponzi Scheme
    • Kidnap Taylor Swift, the Pope, the LA Lakers, etc.
    • The Magic of Criminal Artificial Intelligence

    Dr. #427895 said that enrollment is open to anyone between the ages of 2 to 120. “New inmates welcome… looking at you, Donald Trump!” he said with a wink, adding, “All tuition must be paid in stolen or embezzled funds.”

    Breaking News

    UBSI (Universal Bull Shit Institute) presents Donald Trump with Lifetime Achievement Award

    SNN Words to Live By

    “He who turns the other cheek will get hit with the other fist.” — Comedian Nipsey Russell.

    “Get yourself naked and dig the music.” — Wolfman Jack.

    “When women go wrong, men go right after them.” — Actress Mae West.

    Ted HollandTed Holland
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    Ted Holland

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