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Tag: coping strategies

  • How to Heal Emotional Scars from Past Jobs | Entrepreneur

    How to Heal Emotional Scars from Past Jobs | Entrepreneur

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    “Jena, I think I have PTSD from my last role. It’s impacting how I show up at my new job, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

    While this person almost always certainly doesn’t qualify for a PTSD diagnosis, the pain in their statement is real. It’s incredibly common to experience a significant negative event at work such as bullying, harassment, discrimination or job loss. For example, a study by the Workplace Bullying Institute found that 19% of workers have experienced workplace bullying, while a study by Zippia found that 83% of U.S. workers suffer from work-related stress.

    Related: 5 Simple Ways to Reduce Stress and Enjoy Your Work

    How professional scar tissue shows up in new roles

    The psychological impact of these events can carry forward into a new role in substantial ways. Common ways professional scar tissue carries forward into a new professional chapter include the following:

    1. Hypervigilance: You are always on the lookout for the shoe to drop. You don’t expect things to go well for you. You are anxious, intense and on edge. This impacts your ability to effectively collaborate with others because you are always expecting the worst.

    2. People-pleasing: You go above and beyond, have few boundaries and are always saying “yes.” You are afraid of disappointing others because if someone is unhappy with you, you fear losing your job or not getting the recognition you deserve.

    3. Micromanaging: You are involved in details you don’t need to be involved in. If you know absolutely everything about everything, you have more control over your situation. This causes people to get annoyed at you. You are labeled as being too “in the weeds” and not giving people enough space to do their job.

    4. Being overly cautious: It’s important to learn from past mistakes. Sometimes we can take it too far and be overly rigid and inflexible because we are afraid the next mistake might be catastrophic (like it perhaps felt in the last job).

    5. Self-sabotage: If you expect the worst, you are likely to manifest your reality. I often see folks whose fears around failure become all-consuming, and they engage in self-sabotaging behaviors subconsciously. Unfortunately, in these situations, what they fear eventually happens.

    6. Anger: You fear being taken advantage of and struggle with trusting your colleagues. You carry anger from past experiences that have absolutely nothing to do with your current job and team. Your team feels your wrath and intensity and wonders what they did to deserve this.

    Related: Career Trauma Is a Real Thing. Here’s How to Recognize and Recover From It.

    How to manage your career baggage and control your healing journey

    While career baggage is common, it is your responsibility (not your employer’s) to manage it. I often see people expecting their new team and new manager to tiptoe around their triggers. As a business psychologist who has coached dozens of folks who have these sets of challenges, the best outcomes happen when the person with the baggage takes control over their own healing journey. Ways to do this include the following:

    1. Recognize your triggers, and plan for them: It is likely that some new teammates’ personalities remind you of people in your past. Get clear on who those new folks are, how they trigger you and how you can better plan to manage your interactions with them.

    2. Take more breaks: While people are healing from carer baggage, I recommend scheduling more breaks throughout the day. Breaks help to reset the brain. Shake off the energy. Get a healthy snack. Move your body.

    3. Say “no:” If you overextended yourself in your last job and burnt out, learn from the past. Know your limits, and communicate them.

    4. Focus on sleep, good nutrition, exercise and hydration: The basics never die. While you are healing, focus on getting your body healthy. This way, your nervous system is prepped and primed to take on the day.

    5. Focus on building strong relationships: Most career baggage is rooted in trust issues. Developing positive relationships with coworkers and managers can help you build trust and confidence in your new job. Push yourself outside your comfort zone and participate in networking and team-bonding activities.

    6. Gratitude practice: Your new job is not your old job. One way to train your brain into that new reality and avoid falling into old patterns or old behaviors is by having a consistent gratitude practice. Practice giving thanks for the positive aspects of your new role. This will create more psychological separation from past negative experiences.

    Remember that overcoming professional scar tissue is a process that takes time and effort. At the same time, you are responsible for your own healing journey, so take control. While you are on this journey, be patient with yourself and seek help when needed. With the right support and strategies, it is possible to move forward and thrive in your new role.

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    Jena Booher, Ph.D.

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  • Navigate Uncertain Times With This Full-Proof Coping Mechanism

    Navigate Uncertain Times With This Full-Proof Coping Mechanism

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    These days, you might be feeling like the world you knew is slipping away from you. Like you have less control than ever before and events far bigger than you are whipsawing your life in directions you never thought you’d be heading.

    It’s ok. We’re all going through the same turbulent journey together. We’re all in one giant lifeboat in this great adventure called life. These are truly unprecedented times between a generational pandemic, a war in Europe, rampant inflation, scary talks of recession. But this is when truly strong people are built. When everything external seems out of control, it’s important to realize that the only thing they can truly control is ourselves. Once we understand this unchangeable truth we start to ease up and see that going with the flow is the optimal way to deal with the outside world.

    What is “going with the flow”? Is it a hippy term or some feel-good mantra? No! Going with the flow simply means separating what’s in your control from what’s not, and letting the uncontrollable unfold without judgment or exertion on our part.

    Guess what? It’s actually the most freeing thing in the world to know that the world is unchangeably chaotic. As Frank Herbert famously said, ” The mystery of life isn’t a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.” Imagine how boring life would be if it was already completely mapped out for us and we were following a set storyline like a character in a video game?

    Here are a few tangible ways to implement going with the flow into your life today.

    Related: Entrepreneurship Often Involves Uncertainty. Here’s How to Deal With It Productively.

    1. Control what you can control

    Going with the flow allows us to stay in the present moment and separate the essential from the non-essential.

    The best way to keep ourselves centered and smooth in our daily lives is a two-step question process.

    1. Is this something that’s in my control? (this question filters out the changeable from the unchangeable)
    2. What can I do right now to better this situation? (if it is in your control)

    I’ve found that asking yourself guiding questions during the day is the most effective way to keep yourself calm, focused and unmoveable in the face of thousands of thoughts and decisions that come our way each day.

    True progress comes from mastering variables within our control. It’s impossible to comprehend the amount of time we spend worrying and poring over fictional mental situations, trying to solve the unsolvable.

    By focusing purely on what we can control and letting go of the rest, we give ourselves freedom and space to operate to our maximum potential.

    2. Plan then relax about the future

    As human beings, we have an uncanny knack for subconsciously pinning our happiness on some imaginary time in the future. Guess what? Our future is shaped solely by what we do now. In the present moment.

    Once we’ve gotten stronger at going with the flow, the future doesn’t seem so scary because we’re living firmly in the right now.

    It’s definitely important to plan for milestones we want to achieve in the future, but if our happiness is always tethered to some other place and some other time, we’ll never be truly fulfilled.

    Enjoy the things that truly matter today like your health, your relationships, and the meaning behind your work.

    Related: The 1 Thing You Must Control to Be Successful

    3. Savor the present moment

    Former NFL linebacker Matt Mayberry puts it best, “One of the major causes of unhappiness is to not appreciate what we already have and focus our energy and effort towards what we don’t have.”

    We all have set goals we want to achieve in the future. It’d be silly not to have targets to aim towards that mold us into better, smarter, stronger human beings. The key is the balance between living in the now and taking time to intentionally plan for the future.

    Try this: Take a 20-30 minute walk at the end of the day and give yourself complete permission to think about the future. You might start out with worries about what might unfold. Try to consciously think about your goals and how you’re tracking towards them, or dreams you want to accomplish. The more you practice this the more you’ll start honing your focus toward positivity in the future instead

    The way you get to your dreams will take many winding paths. It’s not a straight line to the end goal, it’s a journey filled with pitfalls, ups, downs, and everything in between. It’s critical to go with the flow because that’s how you truly soak up the journey. All of the little experiences that happen on the way to the “finish line” are what you might look back on as your favorite parts of life.

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    Tracy Tilson

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