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In the 1997 episode of Seinfeld “The Strike,” Frank Costanza defines his areligious Christmas alternative Festivus as protest to the Christian holiday and a platform from which to vent all the bad you see.
“At the Festivus dinner,” he explains to Jerry and Kramer, “you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.” Instead of a tree, Festivus is symbolized by, he says, “a pole with no decoration.”
In December, a pole with some very intentional decoration is coming to the grounds of the Ohio Statehouse.
Chaz Stevens, the Florida-based gadfly and self-proclaimed First Amendment activist, will be personally installing an eight-foot-tall “Consentivus” pole made out of aluminum beercans in the Statehouse’s North Plaza. For 12 hours on December 4, it will stand, with permission from the state government, under the banner of free speech.
A highly topical subject these days. White-and-blue cans prodding Trump’s ego and “felonious life choices” will bear a list of harangues while others might bear ingredients: a can with “Tiny Hands Vodka,” “not for human consumption” and with side effects including “Neckgina”, “Old Man Musk Scent” and “Calling Strangers ‘Sugar’.”
In an interview from his home in Deerfield, Florida, Stevens said his Consentivus poles, also going up in a half dozen other states, are designed to spark talk in a state that’s concerned itself with limitations in the past year—on THC gummies, pornography and kratom, to name a few.
“I’m motivated by, in particular, two things: The freedom of religion and the freedom of speech,” Stevens, 61, said in a phone call. “And then my right of course to redress my grievances.”
Grievances Stevens loves addressing—and not the first time either. In 2013, as a means to rattle theological dogma, Stevens installed a PVC pole stacked high with 18 cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. (After threatening to sue Florida if it blocked his satire.)
Stevens’ Festivus interpretation did the job. He landed interviews on The Colbert Report and in TIME. Such confidence led him to similar protestations, mostly those taunting the religious powers-that-be—from a “Church of Satanology and Perpetual Soirée” to submitting proposals to ban the Bible (it’s too “violent” and “sexual”) in 63 Florida school districts.
And now, in a few weeks, his demonstrations will come to Columbus. A journey Stevens said is entirely self-funded or abetted through a GoFundMe campaign.
It’s a campaign he argues is sorely needed. As Congress debates the release of the Epstein Files. As Trump tampers with SNAP payments. As ICE agents continue to violate the expectations of due process.
“I’m standing up for our right to stand in the public square and say and speak our mind,” Stevens said.
“There’s nothing more fucking American to me than that,” he said. “The right to point your finger at the guy who, who’s sending people overseas and saying, go ahead, I double fucking dare you.”
The “Consentivus” pole will be up 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. on Downtown Columbus’ North Plaza, on December 4. Those not in town can watch a livestream on Stevens’ YouTube page.
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Mark Oprea
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