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Tag: Coach

  • Basketball coach sexually assaulted 2 boys in his home, MI cops say. He’s found guilty

    Basketball coach sexually assaulted 2 boys in his home, MI cops say. He’s found guilty

    A former high school basketball coach in Michigan was found guilty of criminal sexual conduct, reports say.

    A former high school basketball coach in Michigan was found guilty of criminal sexual conduct, reports say.

    Unsplash via Richard Bagan

    A former high school basketball coach accused of sexually assaulting two teenage boys has been found guilty, according to Michigan reports.

    Jeremy Thompkins, a former basketball coach at Farmington High School, had been arrested in October 2023 and accused of sexually assaulting 15- and 16-year-old boys, Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy said. The alleged incidents occurred in Thompkins’ home, according to the prosecutor.

    He was charged with two counts of criminal sexual conduct, Worthy said at the time.

    Now, following a trial that began earlier in May, Thompkins was convicted of the two counts, WXYZ and WDIV reported.

    The investigation began in October following a report from a “concerned parent,” Farmington Public Schools Superintendent Chris Delgado said in a statement, WDIV reported. After learning of the allegations, the superintendent said the teenagers and their families received support from emotional wellness teams.

    Detroit police said the incidents happened during slumber parties Thompkins hosted at his home, WJBK reported.

    Three other coaches were aware of the interactions between Thompkins and the two teenagers, school officials said, but they did not report them, according to WXYZ. They, along with Thompkins, were fired in October.

    It’s unclear when Thompkins will be sentenced. McClatchy News reached out to his attorney Monday, May 13, and is awaiting a response.

    Farmington is about a 25-mile drive northwest of Detroit.

    Mike Stunson covers real-time news for McClatchy. He is a 2011 Western Kentucky University graduate who has previously worked at the Paducah Sun and Madisonville Messenger as a sports reporter and the Lexington Herald-Leader as a breaking news reporter.
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  • White Handbags Are Trending: How To Style Coach’s Jonie Bag

    White Handbags Are Trending: How To Style Coach’s Jonie Bag

    No need to wait until Memorial Day: White purses are trending this season and will only continue their takeover this summer. But while spring handbag trends have been marked by more oversized totes and satchels — practical for long days that take you from the office to the gym — summer will see the return of mini bags, more suitable for vacations and outdoor spritz evening dates. Best of all: You don’t have to wait until the official kickoff to warm weather to get started thanks to the new Coach Jonie Bag. The half-moon-shaped — which, in addition to the milky “chalk” colorway, is available in summer-appropriate pastels like pink, purple, and pistachio, as well as an evening black — comes in a size that’s just big enough to fit your essentials but not take up too much room in your carry-on.

    Refinery29 Staff

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  • This Quilted Coach Bag Brightened Up My Spring Wardrobe Overnight

    This Quilted Coach Bag Brightened Up My Spring Wardrobe Overnight

    POPSUGAR Photography | Kyley Warren
    POPSUGAR Photography | Kyley Warren

    Every editorial product is independently selected by our editors. If you buy something through our links, we may earn commission.

    As one of the fashion industry’s most storied brands, Coach somehow always manages to reinvent itself and breathe new life into its iconic handbag silhouettes. The Coach Tabby Shoulder Bag 20 With Quilting ($395) is just the latest example of the label’s commitment to innovation, and in true Coach fashion, it arrives just in time for spring in a bevy of fresh, seasonal colorways.

    Main ImageMain Image

    Unlike past Coach Tabby iterations, this accessory plays into the season’s buzzy texture trend with a plush quilted design. It pays homage to archival 1970s Coach designs (think folk-embroidery techniques and antique color tones like mustard and nickel), while upgraded accents like an adjustable leather chain strap and subtle hardware accents finish it off with a modern flair.

    I’m a Coach loyalist through and through, so I rarely need convincing when it comes to testing out (and inevitably buying) any new styles from the brand. Naturally, when Coach offered to send out a quilted Tabby for me to experiment with in my own spring wardrobe, I jumped at the chance — and now I rarely leave my house without it. Ahead, I break down everything to know about the Coach Tabby Shoulder Bag 20 With Quilting, from its compact yet functional design and versatile color to why I expect it to be 2024’s most popular shoulder bag — and maybe one of Coach’s best bags to date.

    What I Like About the Coach Tabby Shoulder Bag With Quilting

    First and foremost, I love just how much I can fit into this accessory, despite its compact size. The bag is deceptively spacious, with an exterior pocket, a zippered interior pocket, and three roomy divided sections on the inside. The interior is, in fact, big enough to fit everything from an iPhone 13 to a passport holder, sunglasses, car keys, emergency lipstick, and more. While I generally prefer large tote bags and oversize accessories that can hold the many essentials I travel with on a daily basis, this piece has surprised me in the best way — it’s smaller than virtually every bag in my closet and still manages to hold all of my everyday must haves.

    I appreciate the softness of the bag’s material, which makes it feel all the more comfortable while I’m wearing it. This style is made from a napa leather, which feels buttery smooth with a pillow-like plushness to match. In the past, I’ve struggled wearing certain shoulder bags because I always felt that they rubbed the skin under my arm the wrong way. This style doesn’t cause any discomfort, and I love that I can tuck in underneath my arms and wear it for hours on end.

    POPSUGAR Photography | Kyley Warren

    What’s Worth Noting About the Coach Tabby Quilted Shoulder Bag

    As with all designer accessories, I recommend considering how exactly you plan to use the shoulder bag, then deciding on an exact colorway from there. I own the Coach Tabby 26 in a lighter shade and have found that the style has a tendency to dirty more than some of my darker bags; if I leave it on the floor of a restaurant or on the seat next to me in an airport, I might notice an extra scuff or mark after the fact, whereas my dark accessories rarely show any wear. While I haven’t noticed any unusual marks or discoloration with the Coach Tabby 20, I also haven’t been using it as long, and have been especially careful with where I leave it because of its light-yellow coloring.

    Designer bags often feel like much more of an investment because of their steeper price tag, so I recommend choosing a shade that’s best suited to your lifestyle and habits — even if it means opting for a darker variation that you can trust won’t wear as quickly.

    Who Is the Coach Tabby Quilted Shoulder Bag Best For?

    If you’re looking for a shoulder bag that’s functional yet stylish, classic yet modern, and compact yet practical, this style is a worthwhile investment. With its ample interior space, convertible shoulder strap, and soft-shell design, it ticks all of our boxes as far as what a designer accessory should have. Plus, the wide array of color options makes it easy to shop out a style that’s best suited to your personal taste. Whether you’re in the market for a new handbag for spring or simply want something that you can easily wear from the office to the airport and beyond, this accessory will be a worthy addition to your everyday wardrobe.

    POPSUGAR Photography | Kyley Warren

    Where Is the Coach Tabby Shoulder Bag With Quilting Available to Shop?

    This style can be purchased from Coach.

    Additional Details

    • This bag is crafted from a napa leather material.
    • It’s available to shop in a handful of fun spring colors, including pastel shades of yellow, peach, green, pink, and white.
    • The accessory is fitted with an outside slip pocket, divided interior slots, a zippered pocket on the inside, as well as a push-lock closure for added security.

    Rating:
    ★★★★

    Kyley Warren is an award-winning writer, editor, and affiliate strategist with more than four years of experience in the publishing space. She currently works as an assistant editor on POPSUGAR Shopping, where she reviews trending products, monitors commerce trends, develops thoughtful affiliate strategies, and relies on her unique expertise to compile helpful shopping guides that span a number of verticals. She previously worked with Entertainment Tonight as a style commerce writer, and her byline has appeared in publications globally.

    Kyley Warren

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  • 6 Aspects Of A Balanced Person: A Complete Picture of Well-Being

    6 Aspects Of A Balanced Person: A Complete Picture of Well-Being



    What are the six aspects of a balanced person? Physical, mental, emotional, social, work/financial, and meaning/spiritual. Learn more about each one and how to improve it!


    In life, there isn’t one single area that we need to focus on that is going to magically fix all of our problems.

    Instead there are multiple dimensions behind every “good life.” Each dimension requires our attention and each contributes to our overall happiness and well-being.

    Here are six aspects of life that come together to create a “balanced person.” By being more aware of these different dimensions in life, we can determine which areas we need to focus on more and work to improve.

    The different aspects of a balanced person include: 1) Physical, 2) Mental, 3) Emotional, 4) Social, 5) Work/Financial and 6) Meaning/Spiritual.

    If we focus too much on any one area, then we risk neglecting another one. For example, if you become solely focused on just work and money, you may end up spending less time taking care of your physical and mental health, or less quality time with family and friends.

    This is a common trap people fall into. They focus all of their energy and effort into one area in life while completely ignoring another. Often they need to reconfigure their core values and priorities before making a meaningful change.

    This is why practicing balance in all things is so important.

    Each of these areas is one piece of a much larger puzzle, and only when you have all of these areas working together harmoniously can you finally build a complete life that serves all of your needs.

    Here’s a detailed breakdown of each aspect of a “balanced person,” along with tips, tools, and practical advice on how you can start improving each one.

    While reading ask yourself, “Which aspect do I need to focus on the most right now? What’s one small change I can make to improve that area?”

    Now let’s dive in…

    1. PHYSICAL WELL-BEING

    health

    The “physical” aspect of life is all about taking care of our health, especially exercise, diet, and sleep.

    This includes what types of foods and drinks we consume on a daily basis, how often we exercise and keep our bodies moving, personal hygiene and cleanliness, as well as minimizing alcohol, smoking, and other harmful habits to our physical health.

    Our body is one of the most precious gifts we have – and without it we can’t exist. If we don’t stay healthy, we often can’t fully enjoy all the other aspects of life such as family, work, traveling, or leisure.

    Our health can often have a spillover effect into all the other aspects of our lives – for that reason, taking care of our physical health is often an essential first step on any road to self-improvement.

    No matter what the current state of our health is, it’s never too late to start changing our habits, even if it’s something small like stretching in the morning, taking daily walks outside, or starting an active hobby like Yoga, marathon running, or playing sports.

    A healthy body is a healthy mind. When we take better care of our bodies, we also feel more confident, motivated, and energized overall. That’s the beginning of bringing out your best self.


    Things to do:

    • Identify small ways to be more physically active. Often our days are filled with opportunities to be more active, we just need to take advantage of them. Try to cultivate an “everything counts” mindset when it comes to exercise, even if it just means taking a walk around the block, or stretching in the morning, or doing push-ups before lunch. Any physical activity is better than none at all – so seek out small and convenient ways to keep your body moving throughout the day. If you find yourself sitting for long periods of time, get up and do chores, take a walk around the office, or make a phone call while standing up. A sedentary lifestyle is one of the biggest risk factors when it comes to poor health, so finding any reason to stand up more is better than sitting.
    • Find exercise that “clicks” with you and your personality. Different things work for different people. Some people need to commit themselves to a gym membership to get themselves off the couch, while others prefer to work out in the comfort of their own homes. Your personality shapes what exercise you like, so it’s important you find activities that resonate and “click” with you, rather than trying to force yourself to do something you really don’t enjoy. All you need is that one hobby to take your fitness to the next level, whether it be finding an enjoyable sport (like Tennis, or Baseball, or Basketball), or even exercising through video games (such as Wii Fit or Dance Dance Revolution). Try to think of physical activities you enjoyed as a kid, that can often be a good place to rekindle motivation.
    • Keep a healthy and consistent sleep schedule. Sleep is one of the most important habits when it comes to your overall physical and mental health. Research shows that those who don’t get sufficient sleep (between 6-10 hours every night) often suffer worse health outcomes like a weaker immune system, higher risk of obesity, lower energy and stamina, and more stress and anxiety. If your sleep habits aren’t healthy or consistent, it will likely have a negative “ripple effect” on almost every other aspect of your day. When you’re tired and fatigued, you’re more likely to make mistakes at work or argue with your spouse. It’s important not only to get between 6-10 hours of sleep each night, but also to maintain a consistent schedule. If you don’t sleep much on the weekends, it’s difficult to “catch up” on those lost hours throughout the week. Try to go to bed and wake up around the same time each day if possible. Here are more important lessons behind a good night’s sleep, including recognizing that some people are natural “early birds” or “night owls,” and that’s something you need to recognize and work with.
    • Pay attention to your food and diet. There are many different diets out there to choose from – and people can have long debates about which one is better – but the most important thing is to not eat too much, especially junk food, fast food, soda, sweets, and lots of processed food. Use your commonsense. Experiment with different diet changes and see what works best for you. Different diets work better for different people – so there’s no “one size fits all” solution to what exactly you should eat or not eat. One simple diet change is to substitute all your soda/juice/sugary drinks with water instead. Drinking plenty of water is never a bad place to start – most people don’t recognize how dehydrated they can be throughout the day and how it effects them. If you’re trying to lose weight, one popular option you can consider is intermittent fasting where you allow yourself to eat for an 8 hour window each day and fast for the remaining 16 hours. You can also try the “One Meal A Day” approach, where you restrict yourself to just one big meal (with minimal snacking). In general, pay attention to how your body responds to the things you eat: What foods leave you tired and feeling like crap? What foods make you energized and feeling good?
    • Take care of personal hygiene and cleanliness. Proper hygiene is another important aspect of physical health. While it can seem like commonsense, basic habits like taking a shower, brushing your teeth, getting a haircut, trimming your nails, and washing your face are are all important things not to neglect. Not only does cleanliness prevent you from catching germs and getting sick, you also feel better about yourself when you present yourself in the best way possible (and smell good). Often we are surprised by how much better we feel after a fresh new haircut, or clean new clothes, or new cologne/perfume. When mental health is low, we sometimes neglect these basic habits out of laziness or apathy, which is why they are a crucial first step in self-improvement if we aren’t paying enough attention to them.
    • Minimize your bad habits. No one is 100% perfect and we all have a couple bad habits, whether it be eating too many sweets, or drinking alcohol, or staying up late, or smoking cigarettes. In general, it’s important to quit (or minimize) our unhealthy habits as much as possible. “Choose your crutches wisely.” Keep in mind the long-term consequences of your habits – while it may not feel like they are hurting you right now, their effects can often catch up to you in the future. When trying to quit any bad habit, identify your triggers and work from there to change to change your patterns. Often by creating more boundaries between you and your bad habits, you can overcome your urge to do them (until it’s no longer an automatic habit anymore). If you find that you have a serious problem with addiction or drug abuse, consider professional help (such as a therapist, psychologist, or counselor) – there are often local resources available in your area if you do a quick search.

    Please don’t underestimate the importance of keeping your body in the best shape possible. As Socrates famously said, “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

    Physical health is about much more than just looking and feeling good about yourself – it’s about living a life of vitality and longevity. You can have everything else in your life figured out, but if you don’t maintain your health you won’t be around very long to use or enjoy it.

    2. MENTAL WELL-BEING

    mental

    If you don’t take care of your body then it will slowly deteriorate – and the same is true for your mind.

    Just because you don’t have to go to school anymore doesn’t mean you can’t keep learning new things, keeping your brain sharp, and challenging your intellect.

    Reading books. Learning about new topics. Having deep conversations. Attending lectures and workshops. Following the news. These are all commonsense ways to keep our minds active and continue to update our knowledge and belief system as we move through life.

    Learning is a lifelong endeavor. Balanced people are always seeking new things to dig into and learn more about like a new hobby, new game, or new skill such as painting, chess, learning a new language, or playing a musical instrument.

    In addition, research shows that continuing to challenge our brain is an important way to prevent cognitive decline as we get older, including lower the risk of dementia and memory loss.


    Things to do:

    • Read more books. Reading is one of the best ways to keep your mind sharp and learn new things. Nonfiction books about science, history, philosophy, or self help can grow your knowledge and broaden your perspective on life; and reading fiction has been shown to have many cognitive benefits such as boosting empathy, creative thinking, and expanding your vocabulary. If you haven’t read a book in awhile, try to make it a goal to read at least one book this year. You can start with a book you already own but never got a chance to read, or ask a friend for a book recommendation, or get a card from your local library and explore countless books for free. Find a topic or subject that interests you and start there!
    • Learn a new skill. Learning multiple skills is a hallmark of being a balanced and well-rounded person. It’s never too late in life to dive into something completely new, such as playing a musical instrument, learning a new language, writing poetry, painting, or playing chess. A jack of all trades mindset can make you stand-out from others in unique ways. Many people have a talent or passion for at least one thing, but when you start combining talents and cultivating multiple interests it shows your range and flexibility as a person. Don’t limit yourself. There’s no pressure to become a “professional” or “expert” in everything you do, just stay on a learning path, have fun while doing it, and enjoy seeing the growth as you go.
    • Watch documentaries. Documentaries are a fun and easy way to explore new topics and learn about interesting things you otherwise wouldn’t experience. Depending on what you like, there are many different subjects to choose from: history, sports, biographies, science, inspirational stories, or nature documentaries (which have also been shown to boost positive emotions like joy, gratitude, and awe). I’ve made a lengthy list of recommended documentaries which I try to keep updated as I discover new ones. Check it out and choose one that catches your eye!
    • Monitor your information diet. Our current world is overloaded with information, including a lot that is wrong, misleading, or straight up lies and propaganda. Now more than ever we need to pay close attention to the information we consume on a daily basis. Try to find trustworthy news and educational sites where you can easily verify what they are saying from other sources. Beware of going down esoteric “rabbit holes” where people only confirm their own biases and beliefs. Actively seek out information from multiple sides so you’re at least aware of different perspectives and counter-arguments. The information pyramid is a great guide on how you should prioritize certain sources over others. In general, a peer-reviewed scientific study should be given more weight than some random influencer on social media. Keep in mind it’s also possible to consume too much and become an information junkie, where you’re addicted to learning new things, but you never act on it or put it into practice.
    • Spend time in active reflection. Give yourself time to think and digest, even if it’s just for 10 minutes while sitting with your first cup of coffee in the morning. You don’t always need to be filling your brain with facts to be a smarter person, you also need to know how to step back and contemplate what you know. Active and engaged minds are always taking advantage of opportunities for everyday reflection when sitting on the bus, taking a shower, or walking the dog. Often your best ideas and insights come in moments when you’re not trying to solve a problem directly but just mulling it over in your mind. Schedule time for solitude every now and then and don’t be afraid to sit alone with your thoughts.
    • Learn how your mind works. One essential component to being a more intelligent thinker is knowing how your mind works. We naturally believe we understand ourselves best, but psychology and neuroscience can sometimes reveal counter-intuitive facts and tendencies. To start, our minds are very susceptible to cognitive biases and logical fallacies that can muddy our thinking and understanding of reality. One of the most common errors is black and white thinking, where we believe a situation needs to be either “A” or “B,” but a third perspective, “C,” is the more accurate view. Our minds like to over-simplify things when reality can often be more nuanced and complex. Show intellectual humility. Be open to being wrong and be open to changing your mind in the face of new evidence and experience.

    Take your education seriously. Maintain a healthy and active brain. Even if you were never a good student in school, that doesn’t mean you can’t improve your knowledge and intelligence, especially once you find subjects you are deeply passionate about. Benjamin Franklin once said, “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”

    3. EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING

    emotional

    In the “Mental” section we covered how to keep our brains active and be more intelligent thinkers, but there’s also a whole other side of our psychology that we need to pay attention to as well: our “Emotional” side.

    Emotions can often seem like something that we have limited power over, but being a more emotionally intelligent person means becoming more self-aware and learning how to better respond to our emotions in the moment.

    We can’t ignore our emotions or push them aside forever, they are a necessary facet of life and we must learn to navigate our emotional world effectively if we want to live the best life possible.

    Remember that emotions are a resource, not a crutch. Every emotion serves a function or purpose, and if we channel our emotions in a constructive direction we can make great things happen.

    One important lesson is that even negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, or fear are helpful to a better life if we approach them from the right perspective.


    Things to do:

    • Learn the basics of emotional intelligence. There are 4 fundamental pillars of emotional intelligence that we need to cultivate: 1) Self-awareness (recognizing our emotions when they happen), 2) Self-regulation (knowing how to respond to our emotions and channel them in a positive direction, 3) Empathy (being aware of other people’s emotions and internal states), and 4) Social Skills (knowing how to respond to other people’s emotions in a healthy and constructive way). Certain people may be strong at some of these and not for others. For example, someone may be really empathetic and caring, but not know how to regulate their own mood and emotions, leading to burnout and emotional fatigue. An emotionally intelligent person must work on all four of these pillars.
    • Improve body awareness. All emotions have a physical component to them. When you learn how to identify the physical sensations behind each emotion, you’ll be much more attuned to your feelings in the moment as you’re experiencing them. This helps you to be more aware of your feelings before acting on them, and to recognize how emotions often want to push or pull you in a certain direction (“do this” vs. “don’t do that”). Every feeling serves a different function depending on its emotional valence (“positive” vs. “negative”) and arousal level (“high energy” vs. “low energy”). With practice, this improved body awareness can also boost your intuition, making you a better reader of your “gut feelings” and what they are telling you.
    • Learn to channel negative emotions. Negative emotions can serve a positive function if you know how to respond to them in a constructive way. If you struggle with any specific negative emotion (sadness, fear, guilt, or anger), then create a plan for how you will respond to it the next time it arises. For example, “If I’m angry, then I’ll go exercise,” or “If I’m sad, then I’ll write in my journal.” Emotions are energy that can be channeled in multiple directions. Write a list of the many ways you can respond to any negative emotion. Remind yourself you have a choice, and you don’t have to keep following the same pattern between negative emotion → negative behavior. One popular technique is opposite action, where you intentionally do the opposite of what a feeling is telling you to do (to reverse the cycle of negativity).
    • Practice meditation and daily mindfulness. Meditation is a great avenue for better understanding and regulating your emotions. It teaches you how to step back and just observe your thoughts and feelings without needing to immediately react to them. This space between “feelings” and “actions” is crucial for being a more emotionally intelligent person; it’s the main principle behind discipline, willpower, and self-control. Never forget that just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean you need to act on it. If you’re completely new to meditation, start with the 100 breaths meditation – a simple exercise where you just focus on your breathing. It’s also helpful to learn grounding techniques for when you feel overwhelmed, such as mindful stretching or a 5 senses meditation.
    • Embrace creative expression. It’s difficult to describe many emotions with only words so it’s important to embrace other ways of expressing yourself, such as through music, photography, dance, painting, drawing, acting, or film. Often when I meet people who don’t feel fully connected to their emotional self, they usually lack ways of expressing themselves through art and creativity. A creative outlet is often a prerequisite to better understanding and navigating your emotional world, even if you don’t typically think of yourself as a “creative person.”
    • Savor all of your positive experiences. Life is filled with many joys and pleasures throughout the day and we should try to savor them as much as possible. We have many positive emotions to choose from – joy, gratitude, peace, awe, excitement, laughter, and wonder – and there are a variety of activities that can lead to more positive emodiversity in our lives. Don’t just chase after the same positive experiences over and over again, seek new experiences, new hobbies, and new ways of enjoying life. Learn how to savor happiness as much as possible by being more present in the moment, creating positive memories, and reminiscing on good times.
    • Relax and manage daily stress. Last but not least, it’s necessary we cover stress management as an essential component to mental health and emotional intelligence. Stress is a normal part of everyday life, but if you don’t know how to manage it in a healthy way it can often have a negative influence on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors by making you more sensitive, irritable, angry, and bothered (even by little things that don’t really matter). Recognize when to push yourself vs. when to step back and recharge. In the complete guide on daily stress, you’ll find a great framework for reframing your “fight, flight, or freeze” response by viewing stress as a signal to pay attention to and guide you throughout the day. Don’t underestimate the importance of your comfort zone and use it as a place to recharge after a challenging or overwhelming day.

    Emotions can “make us” or “break us” depending on how emotionally intelligent we are. They are a fundamental part of life, but we often have more power over them than we realize. Learn how to channel your emotions in a healthy and constructive way – become a master of them, not a slave to them.

    4. SOCIAL WELL-BEING

    social

    Healthy and positive relationships are an essential ingredient to happiness and well-being.

    No matter who you are, you crave some type of social connection; even the most introverted person on the planet will have a tough time finding happiness all by themselves.

    There used to be a time when I believed “I don’t need people to be happy, all I need is myself.” But over the years I’ve learned more and more that having social support and a sense of belonging is a basic human need that can’t be avoided.

    How strong is your current social circle? Here’s advice to get you started.


    Things to do:

    • Stay connected with friends and family. You should try your best to stay in touch with people who you already have a strong relationship with, especially family and old friends. There’s a simple power in checking in on people and preserving social connections you’ve already established. It doesn’t take much time or effort to show you’re thinking about someone: a simple text, email, or phone call is all you need to let people know you still care and value your relationship with them. You’d be surprised by how much other people appreciate you reaching out to them, even if you haven’t spoken to them in a really long time.
    • Embrace small social interactions. Every time you leave your home, there is opportunity for social interaction. To build your social muscles, embrace the power of 10 second relationships, such as saying “Hi,” to a neighbor or coworker, small talk with a cashier or cab driver, or sparking up a quick conversation while waiting for the train or bus. Research shows even super tiny social interactions can boost positive emotions and feelings of social connectedness. This can also be a great exercise for people who are very introverted (or have a lot of social anxiety) and want to start being a more social person. Make a plan to have a pleasant interaction with at least one new person every day.
    • Learn how to have endless conversations. One big concern for people when it comes to meeting new people is, “What do I say? What if I run out of things to talk about?” One popular technique known as conversation threading provides an excellent framework so that you never run out of topics to talk about. The basic idea is that every sentence contains multiple “threads” we can go down, and often the art of good conversation is being able to 1) Listen to what people say, and 2) Choose a thread to talk more about. Rinse and repeat and a conversation can go on forever. Also consider improvisation exercises so that you can be a faster and more creative thinker in the moment.
    • Improve communication and conflict resolution. It’s a cliché, but communication is everything in relationships. If you don’t know how to express your thoughts and feelings in an honest and constructive way, you’ll have trouble building genuine and healthy connections with others at home, work, or wherever you need to cooperate and work together with people. In romantic relationships, it’s important to know how to communicate your feelings without manipulating or being dramatic. In family and work environments, it’s important to know how to defuse heated arguments before they spiral out of control. The truth is people can be difficult and you’re not going to like everyone’s company. That’s natural. Conflicts have the potential to arise in any social situation, because people have different beliefs, values, and personalities that may be incompatible with each other. What’s most important is to teach yourself the best methods for conflict resolution so you can better navigate the complexities of your social world.
    • Find opportunities to meet new people. Most people make friends through work or school. Once we get older, it can become more difficult to find new connections or become a part of new social circles. Recent research shows that most adults claim to have “less than 5 close friends.” If you’re looking to expand your circle, there are many opportunities available to you. Depending on your likes, hobbies, and interests, consider going out more to music shows, bars, coffee shops, workshops, church/religious services, bowling leagues, adult education classes, sports events, or book clubs. Seek out local groups in your area or volunteer somewhere. You can also take advantage of websites like Meet Up to connect with like-minded people who live close-by. All it takes is one new friend to introduce you to an entirely new social circle. Be patient and don’t worry if you don’t initially hit it off with the first couple people you meet. Finding the right relationships that fit into our lives can take time.
    • Use social media and the internet to connect. The internet can be a great place to connect with like-minded people who we’d never meet in the real world. Online communities on social media, message boards, or video games can often provide a valuable source of social interaction, especially for people who don’t have many “real life” friends. The internet can be particularly helpful for connecting with others who have rare or eccentric hobbies, such as fans of a specific author, athlete, music genre, or comic book franchise. Unfortunately, many online communities can also become negative, competitive, and toxic (see the online disinhibition effect), so it’s necessary you build a positive digital environment that works for you. That doesn’t mean hiding in your own “echo chamber,” but it does mean cultivating a feed and followers who ultimately add value to your life and don’t subtract it. First focus on topics you’re naturally interested in such as science, technology, sports, or movies. Try not to be a passive consumer of information, actively enter conversations by asking questions or sharing knowledge with others. Often times we can build meaningful connections with people online that are just as important as those we find in the real world. However, while online relationships can have many benefits, we shouldn’t see them as a substitute for real world “face to face” interactions.

    Always remember that quality of relationships > quantity of relationships.

    You don’t need to be super popular or the life of the party to have a healthy social life. All you need is a couple really close friends who support you, trust you, and enjoy your presence. That’s everything you need to be socially satisfied.

    Healthy relationships are a fundamental aspect of happiness and well-being for everyone. Our need to belong to a “tribe” or group is hardwired into our brain, biology, and evolution. Like every other aspect of a balanced person, it can’t be ignored.

    Are your daily social needs being fulfilled?

    5. WORK / FINANCIAL WELL-BEING

    work

    Another fundamental aspect of a balanced person is work, money, and material concerns.

    At the most basic level, we depend on food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, and other necessities so we can live a healthy and dignified life.

    People that struggle to make a living can often hurt in many other areas: physical health (can’t afford good foods, healthcare, or medicine), relationships (can’t support family, no money for dating), as well as our mental and emotional well-being (stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem).

    Unless you win the lottery or have someone else to provide for you, finding a steady job or career is often one of the most focused on areas in life. From childhood up until we finish high school or college, we are constantly asked, “What do you want to do for a living?”

    A few people find jobs they love, many find jobs they like, and most find jobs they can at least tolerate. Balancing psychological needs with financial needs can be a difficult task depending on your current situation.

    While we don’t always get a choice in what we do for a living, there are important ways to give ourselves more power over our work life and financial life. Here are important guidelines to keep in mind.


    Things to do:

    • Focus on your strengths. Everyone has a place in this world where they add value. Before you decide what type of work you’d like to do for a living, it’s important to know what your natural strengths, skills, and talents are. If you’re friendly and good with people, you may excel at managing, customer service, or human resources type jobs. If you’re more introverted and creative, you may want to focus on writing, graphic design, computer programming, or freelance work. What type of activities are you typically good at (or at least above average)? What were your best subjects in school? What do you enjoy doing and why? Complete the strengths worksheet to discover more about your natural skillset. Ultimately, knowing your strengths will influence what types of jobs or career choices will suit you best – including where you contribute the most value.
    • Value education and experience. No matter what your job is, there are always new ways to learn and improve. The best workers in life are those who are always growing and mastering their craft. College is still an important part of education, but what’s even more important is to stay self-motivated and continue learning after school. Many people I know have landed successful jobs that had virtually nothing to do with what they studied in college. In several cases, they were people who taught themselves coding/programming, built a portfolio to show their work to potential employers, and climbed their way up the company ladder from there. All self-taught. You can also consider going to trade schools, workshops, mentorships, internships, and other forms of gaining knowledge and experience that are outside of the traditional college model. Any work experience is better than none at all – you just need to start somewhere and begin building yourself up.
    • Make the most of your job. While it’s rare for any of us to get our “dream job,” we can always make the most of our work life by being a good employee and doing our best. Use nudges to keep yourself motivated and productive throughout the day, learn mental strategies for getting things done that you normally “don’t like” doing, and make friends at work with bosses, coworkers, clients, or customers, because those are the people you’re going to be spending a lot of time with and it’s crucial you have healthy and functioning relationships with them. No matter what your job is try to see the underlying purpose or meaning behind it. What value does it add to the world? Are you proud of the work you do?
    • Live within your means. Regardless of how much money you make, one of the most commonsense rules for financial well-being is living within your means. This includes keeping a budget that you can maintain (for food, rent/mortgage, bills, gas, clothes, and leisure expenses), and not buying too much stuff you can’t immediately afford. Debt can be common at some point in our lives (due to student loans, credit card debt, medical emergencies, etc.), but try to be mindful to not put yourself in a hole that you can’t climb out of. Avoid luxury expenses that put you at financial risk. We sometimes over-extend ourselves due to social comparison and a “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality. We think if our friend or neighbor gets a brand new car or goes on an expensive trip, then we need to “one-up” them with a similar purchase. Many times people fall into massive debt because they are trying to chase status, fame, luxury, or exorbitant pleasures. In general, keep track of all your monthly expenses and find ways to cut back on spending that isn’t necessary. Learn about spending biases that can lead to overconsumption (like the allure of “FREE!,” the “Relativity Trap,” and “One Click” purchases). Big corporations are masters of psychology and persuasion. If we aren’t vigilant about our spending habits (especially if you enjoy retail therapy), then we’ll often fall for tricks that cause us to spend more money than we should.
    • Create a healthy relationship with material things. This article is about being a balanced person. Work and money are very important aspects of life, but materialistic beliefs can also backfire to hurt us. No one lays down on their deathbed wishing they spent more time in the office. Work-a-holics can end up focusing so much on their career that they neglect giving enough attention to their family, health, and well-being. Never forget that there is a lot more to a good life than just money and material things, despite what you may see glamorized in movies, TV shows, or commercials. Psychology research shows that after a certain point, increased wealth and income has very little effect on our overall happiness and life satisfaction. Being rich sounds awesome, but it won’t necessarily make you any happier than if you earned less with a stable and secure life. Take the materialism quiz to see if you have a healthy relationship with money and stuff.

    Remember, money is important but it isn’t everything.

    Financial well-being will often look radically different depending on the person. Certain people may be content with modest and minimal living, while others crave more luxury, adventure, and pleasure. Whichever lifestyle you choose, it’s necessary that money finds the proper role in your life without being completely consumed by it.

    One succinct way to define true financial well-being is “not needing to think about money all the time.”

    6. MEANINGFUL / SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING

    spiritual

    The meaningful or spiritual aspects of life can often be overlooked.

    We may occasionally ask ourselves big questions like, “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” or “What’s my purpose?” but we rarely translate these questions into our daily lives through action.

    For many people, religion is their main source of spirituality and meaning. Attending church, being part of a local community, prayer, and volunteering or giving to charities are common ways people boost meaning in their daily lives. Religion has been shown to improve happiness and well-being by creating a strong sense of purpose and community.

    However, we don’t need religion to have a meaningful life. There are many other sources of meaning, including art, culture, philosophy, literature, music, relationships, activism, introspection, and creativity.

    Where do you get your meaning in life?


    Things to do:

    • Learn the pillars of a meaningful life. One excellent guide on how to live a meaningful life outlines five different pillars to focus on, including 1) A sense of belonging (having healthy relationships with those around you), 2) A sense of purpose (feeling that you contribute to a larger whole), 3) Storytelling (the life story we tell about ourselves, as well as stories and myths about the world we live in), 4) Transcendence (experiencing “awe” and “inspiration” in the presence of great things), 5) Growth (having a sense that you are evolving and moving forward as a person). All five pillars contribute to a rich and meaningful existence.
    • Spend more time in nature. Nature reminds us that we are part of something larger than ourselves, a whole process known as “life.” Nature is a fantastic source of meaning because it continuously inspires positive emotions like joy, amazement, gratitude, and awe. The best part is that nature is all around us – we don’t need to plan a weekend camping trip to experience it – instead just pay attention to everyday nature that is all around you: trees on the drive to work, birdwatching in your backyard, or spending time in your garden over the summer. Having pets to care for is another easy and wonderful source of nature and connection, even if it’s just a small fish tank to maintain. Nature also includes enjoying the beauty of a nice view such as sunrises, sunsets, mountaintops, storm watching, and star-gazing.
    • Take a complete picture perspective. Finding meaning requires being able to look at things from a big picture perspective. What influence do your actions have in the long-term? What type of impact will you leave on the world after you die? When you keep the complete picture in mind, you recognize that even super small actions can add up and have big results in the future. Your life doesn’t begin at birth nor end at death, you are part of an intergenerational chain of cause-and-effect that has stretched thousands of years. That’s a powerful thought if you can see the true significance behind it.
    • Embrace art, music, and culture. Artists are the creators of new meanings, especially famous painters, musicians, filmmakers, photographers, authors, playwrights, and dancers. Pursuing a creative hobby of your own is one fantastic way to infuse new meaning into your life. You can also embrace art and culture more by going to museums, art galleries, music concerts, and theaters. A lot of beautiful art is archived in online art and cultural exhibits, so you can discover a lot of new inspiration by just sitting in the comfort of your own home. Artists of all forms teach us how universal the human condition is. It’s a huge inspirational boost when you realize a book written over a hundred years ago resonates exactly with how you feel today. One of my strongest memories is attending a music concert of my favorite band with thousands of others listening and singing along. Creativity is one of humanity’s greatest gifts and there’s a lot of wisdom, beauty, and feelings of universal connection it can offer us.
    • Signs, symbols, and synchronicity. A meaningful life can be more about feeling inspiration and empowerment rather than thinking only logically and factually about the world. Embrace things you can’t always explain. If you feel like you’re getting a “sign” from the universe, accept it. Our minds often think unconsciously through the power of symbols, especially through reoccurring dreams or nightmares that may be trying to tell you something important. Meaning can be created anywhere if you have the right perspective. Many of my favorite moments in life are when I experience synchronicity, which is finding a connection between two things that seem completely unrelated at first. For example, if I start reading a book and then someone brings up the same book randomly the next day, I try to see that as a sign that I’m on the right path. It may or may not be true, but it is a simple and easy way to add more meaning to the little things in life.
    • Have faith that life is good. Faith may not have any role in science, but it does play an important role in good living. At the end of the day, one of the most important beliefs we can have is that “life is good” and things will generally work out in the end. One of my personal favorite quotes is, “Pray to God, but row to shore.” It shows us to have hope and faith in life, but still take action and try our best in the moment. Both faith and action are necessary ingredients to a happy and fulfilling life. A belief in God or a higher power can make this whole process easier. However, even if you can’t bring yourself to accept “metaphysical” or “supernatural” ideas, at least try to sense the oneness and interconnectedness of all things. These ideas are an endless source of power, strength, and resilience, even in the face of incredible hardships and tribulations.

    A “meaningful life” can be one of the most difficult areas of life to improve, especially while living in a world that is filled with nihilism, hedonism, and materialism.

    However, once you build a strong spiritual core you can withstand almost any difficulty or hardship. It can empower you to a whole new level that non-spiritual people don’t usually have access to.

    CONCLUSION

    To sum things up we must invest time and energy in all six of these aspects if we want to live a happy and balanced life.

    Once again, these six aspects of a balanced life include: 1) Physical, 2) Mental, 3) Emotional, 4) Social, 5) Work/Financial, and 6) Meaningful/Spiritual.

    Which area are you the strongest in? Which area are you the weakest in?

    Keep this framework in mind as you embark on a lifetime of self-improvement. Try the Daily Routine (PDF) exercise and use this resource as a guideline.


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    Steven Handel

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  • Yes, We're Wearing Coach in 2024—These Are the 9 Bags to Know

    Yes, We're Wearing Coach in 2024—These Are the 9 Bags to Know

    Fifteen years ago, I fell in love with a handbag. I was on the way back from a road trip with my family, and we stopped by the Coach outlet to buy my older sister a bag for her birthday. I was around 10 years old at the time, so of course, I had absolutely no reason to own a designer purse, but I was filled with jealousy. She ended up buying a white mini shoulder bag with a rainbow logo print—it was the mid-2000s after all. I have no idea where that bag went and have expressed my feelings about her not keeping it around for me. It’s still a bag I think about a lot, especially as I see more and more of Coach’s handbag selection pop up on my social media feeds, something I’ve been anticipating and waiting for. It’s 2024, and we’re certainly wearing Coach.

    Coach’s recent collections offer new shapes but also combine its archival silhouettes with fashion-forward colorways and modern trends. There’s no doubt that Coach’s leather goods are top-notch quality, so when you add on A+ marketing and design that still aligns with the aesthetic of today’s consumer, you have a hit. In just the past few days, I’ve seen at least five TikToks talking about the new Lana bag, with nothing but “I need it” and “I’m influenced” comments under the video. Coach has a vast offering, but I’ve narrowed down the best nine bags from the brand below.  

    Yusra Siddiqui

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  • 6 Common Factors Behind All Successful Therapy

    6 Common Factors Behind All Successful Therapy

    According to “common factors theory,” the essence of successful therapy lies in shared core elements, and the differences between therapeutic approaches are often less important than fulfilling these fundamental criteria.


    One frequent question people ask themselves when they first decide to seek therapy is, “What type of therapy should I get?”

    There are many different types of talk therapy to choose from. Often specific types of therapy are geared toward specific mental disorders. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is common for depression and anxiety disorders, Dialectic Behavioral Therapy is common for bipolar and mood disorders, and EMDR is common among those with PTSD.

    How much do these therapies differ? How much does it matter?

    One interesting idea in psychology is “common factors theory.” The basic premise is that effective therapy isn’t necessarily based on any specific type of therapeutic tool or technique, but rather there are underlying factors behind all therapies that make them successful.

    Many therapeutic systems have been invented over the past century. Today, every popular therapist or coach has their own trademarked brand that’s sold as the absolute best approach to mental health.

    The less glamorous truth is that most successful therapies aren’t special. There’s significant overlap between different approaches, with a couple extra bells and whistles. However, at the end of the day the biggest reason they are successful is because they all meet fundamental criteria.

    Below you’ll learn more about these “common factors” behind successful therapy, including: collaboration, empathy, alliance, positive regard, genuineness, and individual differences.

    6 Common Factors Behind All Successful Therapy

    One interesting study identified 6 common factors behind all “evidence-based” therapy. They also calculated estimates on how much each factor contributed to the overall variability of therapeutic outcomes.

    Here are the 6 common factors behind all successful therapy:

    • Goal consensus / collaboration (11.5%) – The most important factor is that both the therapist and client share the same goal and they’re willing to work together to achieve it. A goal can be anything from managing negative emotions, to stopping bad habits, to improving communication skills. If their goals mismatch (such as the client not wanting to change or the therapist wanting to go in a different direction), then it’ll be difficult if not impossible to make any progress. Both people need to be on the same page.
    • Empathy (9%) – The therapist must have a clear understanding of who their patient is and where they are coming from. This means being aware of their current thoughts and feelings, but also learning a comprehensive history of that patient’s past experiences and background. We build empathy by seeking knowledge and understanding about another person. Don’t try to guess, label, or project where someone is coming from. Ask questions and learn. A therapist must treat each person as their own individual case. A scientific study of n=1. Every person has a unique story and a therapist’s job is to learn each person’s story.
    • Alliance (7.5%) – Both therapist and client must see their relationship as a partnership where each puts in equal effort to realize their shared goal. For the therapist, this means providing advice, encouragement, compliments, and constructive feedback. For the client, this means putting in work outside of the therapy session (in everyday life) so they actually see changes and results. A healthy alliance requires three main components: 1) A shared bond between therapist and client, 2) Agreement about the goals of therapy, and 3) Agreement about the tasks to achieve it (practical advice, tips, suggestions, exercises, homework). Therapy has to be viewed as more than just talking once per week, but rather an impetus to work together, create a plan, and achieve real progress.
    • Positive regard / affirmation (7.3%) – It’s important that the therapist treats the patient with optimism, positivity, compliments, and encouragement. While a therapist sometimes needs to provide critical and constructive feedback, they should generally promote the patient’s self-esteem and core values. If a therapist tries to fundamentally change something about a person that they don’t want to, there’s naturally going to be conflict and difficulties. One idea known as unconditional positive regard was popularized by the humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers. He highlighted the importance of being agreeable and respectful toward the patient’s core beliefs, values, and goals (even if you disagree with them). Rogers saw therapy as a tool to encourage self-discovery and self-awareness, not tell a patient exactly how they should live their life.
    • Congruence / genuineness (5.7%) – Both the therapist and patient need to be open, genuine, and authentic. If the patient feels the therapist is just “putting on an act” or “pretending to be nice,” they are going to want to pullback and disengage from the process. A good therapist needs to be just as vulnerable as the patient. This means sharing relevant thoughts and feelings, being honest and matter-of-fact, and being willing to express emotions when appropriate. One telltale sign of incongruence is when there is a mismatch in body language (including posture, facial expressions, or tone of voice). If a therapist’s words don’t match their body language, the patient likely won’t develop any trust or rapport.
    • Therapist differences (5%) – The last important factor, which may be beyond our control, is personality differences between the therapist and client. Not everyone is designed to get along with everyone, and sometimes the therapist and patient are just too different when it comes to attitude, temperament, background, or lifestyle. Many therapy sessions don’t work out simply because the therapist/patient relationship doesn’t seem to mesh right. This is why it’s recommended that a person tries out multiple therapists when first starting out. Then they can find someone that fits with their personality and a therapist to commit to long-term.

    These are the 6 most common factors behind successful therapy. They account for ~50% of the total variability in therapeutic outcomes, so there are still many other factors at play.

    In truth, different types of therapies have their advantages and disadvantages, and certain approaches may work better for some and not at all for others.

    Regardless of the system, successful therapy often needs to meet the basic requirements listed above. Without these common factors being met, no technique or approach is going to work.

    A Warning on Overspecialized Therapy

    A therapist needs to be flexible in their approach and try not to force fit everyone into their preferred model.

    The more a person is trained and/or educated on a specific field in psychology, the more they seem to be “locked in” to only one way of observing the human condition. They don’t talk to people as human beings at face value, but instead think, “How does this person fit into my cognitive/behavioral/psychodynamic/evolutionary model?”

    Expertise (and overspecialization) can narrow vision. A certain element of beginner’s mind is the best approach to therapy. Start with the basic questions, “Who is this person? What do they care about? What makes them tick? What do they want to change?”

    Assume nothing and ask questions. Learn about the person from scratch. Connect to them human-to-human and see where it goes.

    More concerning, certain therapies have become popularized and over-hyped in recent years. They’ve turned into commercial brands. “Cognitive-behavioral therapy” has become a buzzword in many circles because the average person associates it with the only “evidence-based” therapy.

    Of course I’m not against specific therapies. I’ve learned a lot of helpful tools and techniques from various systems (including CBT) that I still practice today.

    At the end of the day, I’m a pragmatist, so there’s almost no therapy, treatment, medication, or technique I’m 100% for or against. If it helps just one person, then it’s that much effective.

    However, in general, a good therapist needs to have a comprehensive understanding of how humans work. Tools and techniques can be in your back-pocket, but first and foremost you need to approach people as individual human beings seeking growth.

    Successful therapy can’t be reduced to a checklist.

    The Gloria Tapes: 3 Therapeutic Approaches

    This topic reminds me of an old series of videos known as the Gloria Tapes.

    It was an educational film made in the 1960s to teach psychology students the differences between therapeutic approaches.

    The series follows a single patient, Gloria, who receives therapy from three distinguished psychologists of the time: Carl Rogers, Fritz Perls, and Albert Ellis.

    The therapy is limited since it’s only one session each, but you can get a good understanding of the radically different approaches by each therapist.

    You can watch each of the sessions here:

    Each of these videos reveals a different approach to therapy.

    Albert Ellis is most aligned with modern cognitive and rational-based approaches. Carl Rogers has a more gentle and humanistic approach. Fritz Perls has a direct and provocative approach (almost to the point of bullying).

    If I remember correctly, the patient Gloria felt the most comfortable with Rogers, but she actually went for a second session with Perls. I don’t know how to interpret that – it’s possible she felt “unfinished business” with Perls or she simply enjoyed arguing with him.

    None of this says anything about “successful therapy.” Just one session isn’t adequate to measure “success” vs. “failure” when it comes to a long-term process like self-growth. However, these examples will give you a taste for the different types of therapies out there.

    Ultimately, successful therapy depends on both therapist and patient. The most important factor is to have a healthy, working relationship and a “build together” attitude. Once you have that foundation, anything is possible.


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    Steven Handel

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  • 20 Designer Makeup Bags (Because Your Products Deserve the Best)

    20 Designer Makeup Bags (Because Your Products Deserve the Best)

    Sometimes it’s the little things that bring us the most joy. And in this case, we’re talking about makeup bags (aka the unsung hero of any good accessory collection). Sure, splurging on a designer bag for your beauty products may seem a bit indulgent, but cosmetics cases are essential for staying organized—so why not invest in one you really love? Plus, consider the cost per wear: You’ll basically use it every day, and the right bag will last for years

    If you’ve been thinking of upgrading your makeup bag, prepare to be obsessed with these 20 options. Whether you use it at home, for travel, or simply keeping your purse organized, they’re sure to add an extra dose of glam to your day. Oh, and versatility alert: Many of these styles can also double as designer clutches, which is especially handy for travel (we love a good two-in-one!).

    Lindy Segal

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  • Hurry! Don’t Miss Out On Coach Early Black Friday Sale

    Hurry! Don’t Miss Out On Coach Early Black Friday Sale

    Black Friday, the shopping extravaganza of the year, is only a handful of days away, and we’re all waiting in anticipation for the full slate of sales. Thankfully, Coach has sensed our excitement and kickstarted its sale before Thanksgiving. Yes, folks the doors to Coach’s Early Black Friday Sale have opened, and so has the brand’s November event. While you peruse the brand’s heavily discounted Early Black Friday offerings, you can also get 25% off select full-price styles with the code TAKE25 until November 28 as part of its larger November sales event. The sale covers sought-after handbags from various lines such as the Shine Collection, the viral Tabby, and more.

    Vivien Lee

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  • Bob Knight was hard to love, but impossible to forget

    Bob Knight was hard to love, but impossible to forget

    There was so much bad that happened and that he did over the second and even third acts of his basketball life with Bob Knight that they made you forget all that he did at Indiana University when he was young, and was as great a coach of college basketball as there ever was. John Wooden won more and Mike Krzyzewski would win more after Wooden. Both were loved a lot more. But at his best, when he was winning three national titles at Indiana and then an Olympic gold medal, when one of his championship teams was undefeated, no one ever coached a more beautiful game of basketball than Bob Knight did.

    Knight is gone now, at 83. And in death, there is no attempt, certainly not here, to clean up his record, scrub brush away his temper, or chairs being thrown across a court or the worst moment of all for him, the worst of a lot of bad public moments, when he lost his temper in the gym one day and put his hand on the throat of one of his players. He was a big and loud and complicated and controversial figure in his sport, in all of American sports, really.

    But if you only remember the times when his face became a clenched fist, when he himself became a clenched fist, if you only remember all the times when he sabotaged himself even before he got older, you are missing a lot today about a big life in sports and, again, not just in his sport.

    “There really was so much more good to him than bad,” Mike Woodson was saying last night after we all got the news of Knight’s passing. “I know some people don’t want to hear that. But it’s true.”

    Woody paused and said, “All I can do is explain what he meant to me. And he meant a lot from the time I played for him. I saw him at his highest points and his lowest points. I saw him laugh and I saw him cry and whether people want to believe this or want to listen to me about this, I know he was a good man.”

    I knew Knight a long time, and well. I did see him at his best in Indiana, and then all the times later when his excesses, and his inability to control his temper and his own mouth, kept obscuring his record as a coach, in a career that never should have left Bloomington, Ind. I often sat in his office at Indiana, and ate pizza with him at his favorite hangouts there. I sat and watched his team practice and saw all the coaches, high school and college, from across the country who would just show up in his gym to watch him to do that, just coach a single practice.

    And I was at home one night having dinner with my wife and he called and started yelling at me because I had criticized him for telling Connie Chung in a television interview that if a women was being raped, well, let him tell it the way he told Connie Chung:

    “I think that if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it…That’s just an old term that you’re going to use. The plane’s going down, so you have no control over it. I’m not talking about the act of rape. Don’t misinterpret me. But what I’m talking about is something happens to you, so you have to handle it — now.”

    He said I had misinterpreted what he said. I told him that I had understood him perfectly. Finally he hung up, and we went years without speaking, until he started working for ESPN after his retirement from coach and he was paired on television with my dear, late friend John Saunders.

    He was a 24-year-old head coach at Army when Bill Parcells was an assistant coach on the football team there, and that began a good and deep and lasting friendship between the two men that lasted until Knight died on Wednesday. I remember a day at the old Daily News building on 42nd St. when I was sitting in the sports department and the phone rang and it was Knight. At the time Parcells was in his rookie season coaching the Giants, and all I really knew about him was that I thought he was going to get fired when the season was over, if not sooner.

    “Have you gotten to know this guy?” Knight said.

    I told him that all I really knew was in Parcell’s press conferences, during the week and after practice.

    “Well, you ought to go over there to Jersey and get to know him, because you’re going to be making a big mistake if you don’t,” Knight said.

    I said, “Why is that?”

    And Knight said, “Because he’s great, that’s why.”

    There was nothing for Knight in that phone call other than friendship. He was that kind of friend. But not unconditionally. He was a longtime friend of my friend Dick Schaap. But then, much later, he was tremendously rude when Dick’s son Jeremy, conducted an interview with Knight on ESPN after he had been fired at Indiana. Knight told Jeremy that night that he had a long way to go to be as good as his dad. But Jeremy stayed right with him, refused to be bullied when Knight had once again turned into a bully.

    As far as I know, Dick Schaap, who died the next year, never spoke to Knight again. Knight and I did stop talking after the Chung interview. But there came a night four or five years ago, near Christmas, when the phone rang and it was Knight. He told me that he had been sitting with his second wife, Karen, and going over some old clips, and some were things I’d written about him when he was young.

    “My wife asked me why we’d stopped talking, and I didn’t have a good reason for that,” Knight said. “And she said, ‘Why don’t you call him?’ So I did.”

    We talked for a long time that night. And suddenly it was like all those late nights in Bloomington out of the past, before he couldn’t get out of his way, or refused to even try. Again: I’m not trying to defend the bad parts today. Just remembering there was more to the story with Bob Knight, a story as complicated as he was, but one that won’t be forgotten, the way he won’t be.

    Mike Lupica

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  • I Get So Many Compliments on This Coach Outlet Mini Crossbody

    I Get So Many Compliments on This Coach Outlet Mini Crossbody

    As POPSUGAR editors, we independently select and write about stuff we love and think you’ll like too. If you buy a product we have recommended, we may receive affiliate commission, which in turn supports our work.

    Finding a cute going-out bag is much more difficult than it looks. Besides the fact that it should complement your outfit and vibe, it should also have some semblance of practicality. There are a few essentials that I can’t leave my apartment without, and if I do, I’m filled with regret, ruining the mood for the rest of the day. I need a bag small enough to handle my out-on-the-town adventures but big enough to hold all my essentials.

    When I came across the North South Mini Tote Bag ($119) from Coach Outlet, I knew it was a unique piece I had to have in my collection, but I was more intrigued by how much it could fit for such a small bag. Plus, I can never resist the convenience of a crossbody bag.

    Keep reading to see this bag in action and why it’s worth it.

    What I Like About the Coach Outlet North South Mini Tote Bag

    Main Image

    The North South Mini Tote Bag is probably one of the trendiest bags I own, especially considering its shimmering silver metallic finish. I usually lean more toward an understated, quiet-luxury type of style. However, there was something about this bag that made me want to get out of my comfort zone. Its structured silhouette is so modern and fresh, yet the mini tote bag shape is so cute and kitschy done right. I can wear this with an all-black outfit as pictured and have it be the statement-making pop, pair it with an elegant dress for a wedding or event and match the vibe, or style it with something a little more casual, like jeans and a T-shirt. It’s a surprisingly versatile piece that I find myself gravitating toward often.

    The bag has a structured design that keeps its shape, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fit your necessities inside. I can store my iPhone 13 Plus, my card holder wallet, a portable charger, my go-to shade of Ctzn Cosmetics Nudiversal Duo Lipstick, a perfume oil, my keys, and a pair of wired headphones all in this bag. I can swap out the portable charger for a pair of AirPods as well. I can also create more room by utilizing the credit card slots in the bag, but I can never go out without my whole wallet, just in case I need it. The North South Mini Tote Bag is the ideal size for me to have all my necessities without lugging around a bag that weighs too much or feels like it’s always in the way when I’m dancing.

    What’s Worth Noting About the Coach Outlet North South Mini Tote Bag

    Although the North South Mini Tote Bag can fit all my essentials, I recommend strategically placing certain items in a specific way to utilize the space more efficiently. Items that take up more space, like my phone, wallet, and portable charger, go in the bag first. Then, I squeeze in smaller items where they can fit in the gaps. Due to the fact that this bag has a magnetic snap closure rather than a zip closure, I recommend putting smaller items in the bottom so they don’t slip out. However, to keep your belongings extra secure if you’re wearing it in a crossbody style, make sure it sits in the front where you can see and hold it rather than letting it sit toward the back of your body. It’s always a good idea to keep an eye on the bag throughout the night, especially since there’s no zipper closure.

    Who’s the Coach Outlet North South Mini Tote Bag Best For?

    The North South Mini Tote Bag is best for those who love to accessorize with trendy pieces that are actually practical, too. This bag is ideal for going out, whether it’s spending the day in the city or bar hopping at night. Its convenient crossbody strap lets you keep the bag on your body so your hands are free to hold a drink or explore the world. The North South Mini Tote Bag is perfect for just the essentials.

    Additional Details

    • The North South Mini Tote Bag is made from refined pebble leather featuring two top handles and a detachable adjustable crossbody strap.
    • It has a magnetic snap closure and two credit card slots on the inside.
    • Although the silver metallic shade is sold out, this style also comes in black and white.
    • Dimensions: 5.5″ wide, 6.75″ tall, 2″ depth

    Where Is the Coach Outlet North South Mini Tote Bag Available?

    The Coach Outlet North South Mini Tote Bag is available on the brand’s site.

    Rating:
    ★★★★☆

    Anvita Reddy

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  • Does Soon To Be Zoe Kravitz Tatum Smoke Weed

    Does Soon To Be Zoe Kravitz Tatum Smoke Weed

    She is stunning, talented and irreverent.  She is the daughter of music royalty, recognized for her acting ability and Time magazine named her one of the 100 Most Influential People in 2022.  And she just become engaged to Channing Tatum, himself a star, fun, funny and recognized as an all around good guy.  But does soon to be Zoe Kravitz Tatum smoke weed?

    She made her acting debut in 2007 with a role in the romantic comedy film No Reservations The big breakthrough came in 2011 playing Angel Salvadore in X-Men: First Class, earning  nominations for a Teen Choice Award and a Scream Award. Big Little Lies was another success and she jumps from one great role to another.

    RELATED: Marijuana And The Creative/Programmer Set

    In her spare time she is a model and musician. She has been part of campaigns for Tiffany & Co, Alexander Wang, Coach and more. She is also part of the band Lolawolf and released the albums Calm Down in 2014 and Tenderness in 2020.

    Born to rock legend Lenny Kravitz and famed actress Lisa Bonet, she grew up in California. She is also related to Al Roker of the Today Show.  Her dad shared “Marijuana and rock ’n’ roll became my steady diet,” in his book  ‘Let Love Rule,’ chronicling his first 25 years.  Lenny Kravitz was a star known for his sexy look and smooth singing.  Bonet, whose career tskyrocketed when she in the Cosby show, is also a fan. Zoe shared the first time her mom busted her with weed, they ended up smoking a joint together.

    RELATED: Marijuana And The Creative/Programmer Set

    Her parents are divorced and Zoe recently announced her engagement to talented Tatum who is also known for enjoying marijuana. So, for so many reasons it could be a match made in heaven.

    It should come as no surprise Zoe is a big fan of weed. In fact, during the lockdown she did a set of videos and interviews where she shared baths, wine, watching films, cooking, smoking weed and listening to music, is a surefire boredom remedy.

    Zoe is a great ambassador and face of the 90% of citizen’s who believe marijuana should be legal in some form.  We wish her the best with her engagement!

     

    Anthony Washington

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  • 10 New Coach Bags We’re Coveting For Fall

    10 New Coach Bags We’re Coveting For Fall

    As POPSUGAR editors, we independently select and write about stuff we love and think you’ll like too. If you buy a product we have recommended, we may receive affiliate commission, which in turn supports our work.

    Few designer brands satiate our love for a quality handbag quite like Coach. The heritage label never ceases to amaze us with its wide array of accessories that range in everything from compact shoulder bags and spacious bucket bags to backpacks, crossbody styles, and, of course, the on-trend essentials like the sleek (and newly debuted) Penn Shoulder Bag — which has further cemented that metallic fashion is having a major moment. In the spirit of the new season, Coach just debuted a brand-new selection of styles that offer upgrades on classic fan favorites — and just in time for fall, no less.

    Ahead, we curated a guide to the best Coach bags that are worth splurging on this fall, with styles that include everything from carryall totes for everyday wear to cute shoulder bags and even a few new pieces that you’ll definitely want to snap up before they inevitably sell out. There are backpacks that are so useful for any of your upcoming travels, cool camera bags that are compact yet practical, and a number of Coach handbags that are now available to shop in a variety of moody, autumnal color options.

    If it was up to us, we’d buy them all (and probably will). Keep reading to see our picks for this season’s trendiest Coach bags, and scoop up your new favorite fall accessory while it’s still in stock.

    — Additional reporting by India Yaffe

    Kyley Warren

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  • 30 Chic Under-$300 Handbags That Will Get So Many Compliments

    30 Chic Under-$300 Handbags That Will Get So Many Compliments

    If there’s one thing I love, It’s a chic handbag. I’m especially enthralled when they don’t cost an arm and a leg. Don’t get me wrong. There’s a time and a place for a beautiful investment bag. But if you’re looking for a gorgeous bag priced under $300, I’ve got you covered. I’ve done what I do best and scoured my favorite online retail hotspots (think Staud, Nordstrom, and Shopbop) for some killer handbag deals that I just had to share with you.

    Whether you’re in the market for a pretty everyday bag or looking for more of a statement piece, there’s a chic handbag ahead for you. You can expect trendy colors and silhouettes along with more classic styles. From picks with intricate beading to fun pleats, keep scrolling to score your new favorite handbag.

    Chichi Offor

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  • Nike’s approach to solving the biggest problem for girls in sports

    Nike’s approach to solving the biggest problem for girls in sports

    Portland Press Herald | Portland Press Herald | Getty Images

    In recent decades, data from sports researchers revealed an encouraging trend: young girls were participating in sports in greater numbers. But the research also uncovered a big missed opportunity. Girls drop out of sports at “alarming rates,” specifically when they hit puberty.

    There is one obvious solution that sports retail giant Nike CEO John Donahoe, and many others, think can make a big difference: more female coaches.

    In the historically male-dominated world of sports, girls and women have always had to fight for their right to compete and to be viewed as competitive athletes. The sexism that has prevented girls from competing in sports has also prevented women from becoming youth coaches.

    “I think league administrators are kind of trained to look for dads to coach and think more often the dads are going to be the ones to step up and do it. I think sometimes they may not even be trying to recruit females,” said Mary Fry, professor and director of the University of Kansas Sport & Exercise Psychology Lab.

    Nearly 75% of youth head coaches are men, according to Aspen Institute’s Project Play. Even when women are offered the opportunity to coach, they are fearful that they’re not good enough to take on such a position because of the sexist stereotypes society often promotes.

    When Jen Welter, the first-ever female NFL coach and a two-time gold medalist in Olympic football, was offered the opportunity to coach football for the first time, she recalled instinctively thinking “girls don’t do that.”

    “When you don’t see it, it’s really hard to say, ‘You know what, I can do that,’” Welter said.

    “Most young people rarely, if ever, get the opportunity to be coached by a woman. This is a miss for all,” said Vanessa Garcia-Brito, Nike vice president, and chief social and community impact officer. “To get girls active and invite them into a lifetime of sport, they have to see it to believe it – and that starts with more female coaches.”

    In March, Nike launched Coaching HER in a partnership with the University of Minnesota’s Tucker Center for Research on Girls & Women in Sport. The digital coaching resource is designed to help coaches of all genders improve their understanding of gendered bias and discrimination in sports.

    Puberty changes girls’ relationship with sport

    Female coaches are not just important in terms of giving young girls a positive role model – they also offer a safe space to discuss and process the difficulties that can come with a young woman’s changing body and mind. Even for girls who grew up loving sports, puberty shifts girls’ relationship with sports and very often results in them disengaging with physical activity.

    The data related to this critical period in a girl’s life is clear. One in three girls participate in a sport from age 6-12, according to the Aspen Institute. But nearly one in two girls will quit sports during puberty, according to menstrual product manufacturer Always.

    Research from a 2018 report by Tucker Center, Nike’s partner, gathered data globally and found that the highest rate of drop-off from girls in sports often occurs between the ages of 11 to 17, “the range when girls feel the most pressured to conform to identities shaped by their peers and adults — which includes coaches,” its report states, and it concluded that how girls feels about their coaches is a determining factor in whether they continue to play organized sports.

    The Women’s Sports Foundation, created by Billie Jean King, has found that 40% of teen girls are not actively participating in a sport.

    “For boys, that moving through puberty can be kind of a plus, you gain more muscle mass, and you get taller, stronger. For girls, it’s just not always the same case,” Fry said. “They’re kind of in survival mode in middle school.”

    There are both physical and psychological dimensions to the problem, namely, periods and low body confidence as barriers preventing girls from continuing in sports, according to Youth Sport Trust CEO Alison Oliver. As girls’ bodies change throughout puberty, they become increasingly insecure and physical activity begins to feel different. The charity Women in Sport found that 65% of girls don’t like others watching them during sports, as it makes them feel self-conscious, vulnerable, and objectified. What’s more, seven in 10 girls avoid being active when on their period.

    Coaches are critical agents that impact girls’ experiences in sports, according to the Women’s Sports Foundation, and if a girl isn’t properly supported or understood by their coach in a time as daunting as puberty, they’re going to be discouraged to compete. For example, most of the time, girls are not educated on or fitted for proper sports bras, making participating in sports painful.

    “If you started to feel uncomfortable as a female athlete … it’d be pretty tough to go to a male coach about some of those things,” Welter said.

    A June 2019 Nike event in London when it took over iconic recreational sports park Hackney Marshes for a football festival to celebrate the women’s game, hosting more than 1,000 women and girls, with 79 teams taking part in the tournament, across different age groups.

    Kate Mcshane | Getty Images Sport | Getty Images

    “These bonds that develop between a coach or a mentor and the kids is just so much bigger than just the physical activity part of it,” Fry said. “They have women in their lives they can bounce things off of, they can trust.”

    Fry co-founded the Strong Girls program at the University of Kansas, where young girls are assigned a female college student as their mentor. Half of the program focuses on participating in sports together, while the other half concentrates on positive youth development. The program typically attracts girls who tend to be less athletic and creates a safe environment where they feel encouraged by female mentors to participate in sports that they normally wouldn’t pursue.

    “Girls and women can’t have enough strong women in their lives. We just benefit from that,” said Fry, who is director of the program.

    Female coaches were fundamental to both the success and enjoyment of sports for Christina Collins, a former youth athlete who later became a coach. “I had female coaches, as well as male, of course, and it [had] such an impact on me to realize that it was an option for me to grow up and do that. And I felt like I definitely connected with them at a deeper level than I might have [with] male coaches that I had,” said Collins, who is now a physical education and health teacher in Westchester County, and a professor in the physical education masters program at Manhattanville College.  

    Female coaches, she says, can offer unique insight based upon their own personal experiences as women. “[My identity] has impacted the way in which I deliver all coaching. It is meant to increase first and foremost the child’s confidence, then second, their performance ability,” said Collins, who also is founder and owner of NeverStopMoving365, a company that seeks to use sports and physical activity to promote confidence and teach life lessons. 

    She says this approach isn’t only benefit to girls, but extends to youth athletes of all genders, and female coaches as well. 

    Nike’s 20,000 female coach goal

    Nike is one of the few major companies directly addressing this issue. Corporations from Target to Disney and Bank of America are being targeted for taking a stand on social issues in the current divisive political climate. Donahoe, who made his comments on the issue of girls’ sports participation rate at the recent CNBC CEO Council Summit in Santa Barbara, California, said that he believes Disney CEO Bob Iger is handling the feud with Florida Governor Ron DeSantis properly, and he pointed to Nike’s efforts in girls’ youth sports as another example of how a company can focus on social issues that are core to its values and integral to its brand.

    “We’re trying to train 20,000 female coaches, moms and other former athletes to be coaches to promote youth,” Donahoe said. “So that’s less of a controversial issue, but it’s one we care about as a value,” he said. 

    Nike also has an aim to achieve 50% girl participation in the sport-based community programs it supports by 2025.

    As a former athlete, Collins says there are lifelong benefits that come when young women and girls remain involved with sports and feel supported.  

    “I don’t use the actual sports as my primary form of fitness, or just the sports skills in general at all. But I pull from my toolkit of life lessons that athletics taught me,” she said. 

    Coaching HER encourages all coaches, regardless of gender, to give girls the chance to continue developing their character and learning life lessons from sport, and offers detailed training for coaches on how to lead girls and young women in sports.

    “It’s not just women, for women. It’s women and men working together to elevate girls. That’s one of the key components. How do we work better together?” Welter said.

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  • Jennifer Lopez’s Timeless Bag Is on Sale For $350 and It Will Sell Out

    Jennifer Lopez’s Timeless Bag Is on Sale For $350 and It Will Sell Out

    It’s not every day that queen of luxury Jennifer Lopez wears something affordable (relative to the rest of her wardrobe, that is). So when she does, it’s worthy of a bit of commentary. Over the holiday weekend, Lopez was photographed wearing a Who What Wear editor’s idea of the perfect outfit. It included a cropped cardigan, bodysuit, baggy trousers, and loafers. But it was her Coach bag that got my first click.

    I’d be remiss to not mention that Lopez is the celebrity face of Coach, but not everything the brand makes is as reasonably priced as the bag she just carried, and it was an excellent choice on her part. The bag in question is the Coach Studio Shoulder Bag with Quilting. It’s the perfect size for day or night use and it features a crossbody strap (although Lopez opted to carry it like a clutch) and the C logo that’s made such a comeback as of late. The flap bag will give all of your outfits that classic French-girl look, as quilted flap bags are their go=to style. 

    Now to the price. It’s usually $495 but Coach is having a huge sale right now and it’s been marked down by 30 percent, to $350. I have a hunch that such a great every day, celebrity-approved bag won’t stick around long, especially since good mid-priced bags aren’t always all that easy to find. With that, scroll to shop the bag before it’s gone (or not on sale anymore), as well as a few other on-sale Coach bags I think you’ll love.

    Allyson Payer

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  • My Viral It Bag Goes With Everything—I’m Wearing These Looks The Most

    My Viral It Bag Goes With Everything—I’m Wearing These Looks The Most

    If you’ve been a fashion person on the internet in the last couple years, then I’m sure you’ve seen The Tabby—Coach’s Viral It Bag that rose to fame online through Tiktok. The hashtag #coachtabby even has 31.3 million views on the vertical video app. Whether you’ve fallen for The bag’s trendy charm or you’re curious about all the hype, there’s no denying that The Tabby is the perfect accessory to accompany any spring or summer look.

    Since I’ve been getting so much use out of my Tabby, I thought I’d highlight a couple recent favorite outfits I’ve been wearing with the infamous bag. Keep scrolling for a breakdown of my cute looks and other fashion-editor approved styles to pair with the Coach Tabby Shoulder 26. .

    Chichi Offor

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  • The Most Exciting Bags to Shop Right Now Come in Novelty Shapes

    The Most Exciting Bags to Shop Right Now Come in Novelty Shapes

    A baguette bag, a boxy tote, a rectangular crossbody — these are and will remain classics for a reason. But we’re seeing a trend toward the surprising and unconventional when it comes to accessories (and their shapes).  

    In 2022, searches for Prada’s triangle bag were up 81% YOY on ShopStyle, making it one of the platform’s “closet all-stars” of the year; crescent shoulder bags were also highlighted as one of the “stand-out silhouettes” of the past 12 months. 

    Ana Colón

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  • The 16 Biggest Fashion News Stories of 2022

    The 16 Biggest Fashion News Stories of 2022

    In fashion, the top headlines of 2022 were brimming with excitement and chaos.

    Scandals swept Balenciaga and any brand associated with the artist formerly known as Kanye West. Legislation offered a new pathway for sustainability in fashion. A new guard of creatives took the helm at some of the world’s most stories houses, while a recession loomed over the whole industry.

    Andrea Bossi

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  • I Told Nordstrom Stylists I Have Classic Style, and I Got 6 Crazy-Good Outfits

    I Told Nordstrom Stylists I Have Classic Style, and I Got 6 Crazy-Good Outfits

    If I don’t know where to look when shopping at a large retailer, I often see if it has a team of stylists on staff. Usually, their services are free or at a low cost, and they know the product inside and out. One such retailer that offers such a service is Nordstrom, which has people across the country ready to guide you through its extensive collection of clothing.

    In the digital age, window-shopping is often done from behind a screen. It can be tempting to look at the designer items we can’t really afford (especially during the holidays) or imagine ourselves wearing a piece of clothing we may not have the occasion to wear, like, ever. That’s where the expertise of Nordstrom’s stylists comes into play. If you have classic style just like I do or want to prioritize your spending on versatile pieces you can wear on a daily basis, you’ve clicked on the right article.

    Not only are these outfits classic, sharp, and stylish (they’re my personal favorites, after all), but each item can also be worn in a variety of different ways and for various occasions. Silk pants, pleated maxi skirts, and structured tote bags are staples you can style for work, dinner parties, and even date nights. Keep scrolling to discover my top picks.

    Kyra Alessandrini

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  • 6 Holiday Party Outfits You’ll Want to Wear Year-Round

    6 Holiday Party Outfits You’ll Want to Wear Year-Round

    The end of the year can be hectic between finding gifts for loved ones, wrapping up work to-dos and mapping out your winter plans. (It doesn’t help that the sun is basically gone by the time we clock out. Sigh.) Still, the holidays are exciting and present a host of fun dressing opportunities. Finding what to wear for the occasion(s) doesn’t, in the words of Avril Lavigne, have to be so complicated. 

    India Roby

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