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Tag: Cindi McMenamin

  • 3 Steps to Less Financial Stress with Your Spouse

    3 Steps to Less Financial Stress with Your Spouse

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    How much better our relationship with our spouse might be if we read and paid attention to that phrase every time we touched money. How much fewer arguments we might have. How less stressed we might be. 

    It’s been said that married couples argue the most about sex, raising children, and money. But money doesn’t have to be one of the triggers to tension in your relationship. It is, after all, just money. 

    My husband and I are convinced — and have been our whole married life — that our financial stability depends on how much we trust God rather than on how much we make. 

    It’s really not about the money.  If it was God would just rain it down and solve our problems. Churches are in debt across the nation. Christians are in debt, personally. Ministry workers struggle to make ends meet. Yet God owns it all. He lacks no resources. So if He’s not providing what we think we need at the time, we either don’t need it, or there’s something else going on. For us it’s always a matter of trust. It’s a matter of where our hearts are. It’s a matter of character development. And it’s a matter of faith and teaching us to pray.  

    Here are three steps you and your spouse can take to start trusting God with your finances and lessening the stress and tension between the two of you:

    1. Be obedient.

    God expects us to give back to Him what is rightfully His. Actually, all of what we have is rightfully God’s but we have chosen to follow a command set forth in the Old Testament when God commanded the Israelites to give a tenth of what they made to God. We tithe – which literally means giving a tenth of our money to God – as a matter of discipline and as a guideline of a good starting point and then add to that as we can. Why? Because a tenth is, in our case, a huge financial stretch. Because to tithe is, in our case, to trust. We have found, time and again, that God is faithful in providing all our needs as we honor Him by giving to Him first above everything else. God has a way of multiplying what we give to Him and giving back to us when we fall short at the end of the month because we trusted Him with that tenth we didn’t think we could give, but gave anyway. We’ve come to see it’s how God blesses those who honor Him with what He’s given them. 

    2. Be responsible.  

    God expects us to be good stewards of all that we have – our material possessions, as well as our money. And the first way we do that is to acknowledge that everything we have has been given to us and therefore is His.  We are simply managers of the money He has entrusted us with. We have found that this helps us have a proper perspective toward money, keeps us humble, and prevents us from living beyond our means or spending money on something God wouldn’t approve of. 

    Being a good steward means we heed the guidelines set forth in God’s Word about not getting into debt, not living beyond our means, and not going into business with someone we can’t trust. Most likely, there isn’t a couple on earth who hasn’t learned some of these guidelines the hard way. We’ve had our share of difficult situations too. But God is not looking for perfection, or expecting us to become financial investment experts. He’s looking for hearts that are submissive and teachable. When you acknowledge that all you have is His anyway, it helps you to remember that major purchases and investments should be a matter of prayer. After all, you’ll want to consult the Owner about how He would like you to manage His funds! 

    3. Be joyfully expectant.

    The Bible says if we, being human and having limited resources, know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more does God know how to give good gifts to those He loves? (Matthew 7:9-11; James 1:17). We have had a great time throughout our marriage seeing God come through for us, financially, in incredible ways. In fact, each time He does, we write it down on a small piece of paper and put it in a jar and at the end of the year we review those blessings and are reminded of God’s faithfulness.  

    Money doesn’t have to be a stress factor between you and your spouse. Instead, make it a faith adventure. 

    Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of more than a dozen books, including When Women Walk Alone (more than 120,000 copies sold), When a Woman Inspires Her Husband, and her most recent, When God Sees Your Tears.  Cindi and her husband, Hugh, a former pastor, have co-authored When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection, upon which this article is based. For more on Cindi’s ministry, or for free articles to strengthen your soul, marriage or parenting, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com or connect with her on Facebook. 

    Publication date: August 12, 2015

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/bernardbodo

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  • 5 “Togetherness” Activities to Strengthen Your Marriage

    5 “Togetherness” Activities to Strengthen Your Marriage

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    It sounds simple, but it can profoundly affect drawing the two of you closer. After all, there is something therapeutic about taking a walk. In a society that tends to literally be on the run, taking a walk requires you to slow down and enjoy life – together.

    My Uncle Owen and Aunt Alice, who have been married 65 years, have discovered the beauty of taking a walk together. Having raised four children and weathered the storms of life together (including the loss of their two oldest sons), they still try to walk together at least three times a week.

     “Talking isn’t so important while we’re walking,” Owen said. “When you’re walking, you can be together, and you don’t have to talk. And other times, it’s good to have that time together because we do get more of a chance to talk.”

    Try walking with your spouse in the evenings, before or after dinner, as a way of reflecting on the day, talking about your blessings, or reconnecting away from the busyness of life. Even if you can only do it once a week, find your “walking day” and make it an activity you do together – for your physical health, as well as for your relational health.

    4. Take a Day to Play

    Have you ever just taken a day to play together? We make sure our children have regular play days when they’re young. And when we were teenagers, we recognized the value of playing, as well. But playtime can never go away in a relationship if you want to cultivate a closer connection. If you’re a hard worker and feel guilty taking a day to play, consider it an investment in your marriage. Also, consider it a spiritual activity. God wants us to play, enjoy life, and have some return for our labor.

    King Solomon, known as the wisest man who ever lived, penned the purpose of life in Ecclesiastes 3:12-13: “I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil – this is the gift of God.”

    Did you get that? Playing is a gift from God! God knows you will one day leave this earth, so in addition to glorifying Him with your life while you’re here, He wants you to enjoy this life, as well, within the means of right and pure living – and especially with your spouse!

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/monkeybusinessimages

    Steve and Rhonda love the loud roar of motorcycles. To them, that’s play. “We have motorcycles and love to go for long rides,” Rhonda said. “It’s an inexpensive way to travel and an enjoyable way to spend time together and be quiet.”

    My husband and I enjoy taking a day to hike, even if it’s near our home. Exercising together feels like play for us, and we’ve realized both – exercise and play – are necessities, not luxuries. Take at least one day a month to play (although one day a week is far better), and here are some ideas if you don’t yet have any:

    • Rent a movie (or stream one online) and make popcorn at home
    • Run out for ice cream after dinner at home
    • Walk through nurseries and home improvement stores, dreaming about how to make your house and yard look better
    • Pull out your old board games and play for a couple of hours

    Are you starting to get inspired? There’s nothing that will bring back your youthful vigor than taking a day to play together. Consider it a form of worship. And go for it!

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages-monkeybusinessimages

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  • 10 Warning Signs You Need to Let Him Go

    10 Warning Signs You Need to Let Him Go

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    Dating is all about testing the waters and seeing if you can find someone with whom you want to form a lasting bond. After all, if a relationship doesn’t lead anywhere, why waste the time, right?After more than 20 years of ministering to women who wish they’d heeded the warning signs in their dating relationship before pursuing marriage (and many whose marriages ended in divorce), I’ve compiled a list of the characteristics or scenarios that raise red flags and indicate you should look elsewhere.Whether you’re engaged to be married, in a serious relationship, or in the first few weeks of dating a man, I encourage you to keep both eyes open and maintain a teachable heart so you don’t miss the warnings and red flags and commit to a relationship that leads primarily to heartache.In case you’re already contemplating the question Should I stay or should I go? let me help you decide on what could be the difference between a successful marriage and a misery-ever-after or painful divorce. Here are 10 signs you need to not just put on the brakes, but all-out let him go.Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/globalmoments

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  • 10 Things Your Husband Hates about Church

    10 Things Your Husband Hates about Church

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    I bet you thought your husband preferred a quick sermon and then an exit for lunch. But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard men complain about lengthy singing and limited sermons.  One man told me, “If they could do four less songs and give the pastor that extra time to teach, I’d be good.” 

    We all have different tastes, and yes, worship is important. But worship is not limited to music and song. The teaching of the Word is as much a part of worship as the songs, special music, and offering. If your church has a pastor who is a great expositor of the Word, your husband wants to hear him teach, not just taste hors d’oeuvres, but never get to the main meal. Encourage your husband to write it on his “attendance card” that he’d like to hear more of the Word and it may not only get him closer to liking church a little more, but it will be music to his pastor’s ears. 

     

    Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and award-winning writer who helps women and couples find strength for the soul. She is the author of several books including When Women Walk Alone, When a Woman Inspires Her Husband and When Couples Walk Together, which she co-wrote with her pastor/husband, Hugh. For more information and free resources to strengthen your soul, marriage, or parenting, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.

    Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/Highwaystarz-Photography

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  • 10 Ways to Better Understand Your Husband

    10 Ways to Better Understand Your Husband

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    Your husband typically values different things at different seasons of life. In his 20s and 30s, he may prioritize making money and advancing his career because he is in his prime “provider/achiever” mode. When he approaches his 40s and 50s, he may be more concerned about making his life count and not “wasting time” doing something that doesn’t matter in the long run. When he reaches his 60s, he may value slowing down to enjoy life or attempt ambitions or “bucket list” items now that he has more time.

    Keep in mind, though, that even when his priorities shift with age, he’s still the same man you fell in love with and married. His priorities just change through the years, as do yours.

    Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and award-winning author of 16 books who has been married 30 years to her husband, Hugh, a pastor and introvert. Together, they co-authored the book, When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection. Cindi’s newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband, will help you experience more joy, passion, and communication in your marriage, no matter what your husband’s personality. For more on her resources to strengthen your walk with God, your marriage, or your parenting, see Cindi’s website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/FG Trade

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  • 5 Ways to Use Worship as a Weapon against Spiritual Attacks

    5 Ways to Use Worship as a Weapon against Spiritual Attacks

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    We live in a spiritual realm. Many times, what we consider fleshly battles with other people or circumstances may in fact be a full-on attack from the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

    Ephesians 6:11-12 instructs believers: “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (NIV).

    It’s interesting that Ephesians 6 tells us to put on the “full armor of God” so that we can withstand spiritual attacks, and then every piece of armor listed in verses 14-17 refers to the Person of Jesus. That passage is basically telling us to clothe ourselves in Christ – to bear His truth and righteousness, exercise faith in Him, yield His Word as our sword, and trust in Him as our salvation. In other words, abiding in Christ, and worshipping Him is our full defense against Satan’s attacks.

    Here are five ways to put on the full armor of God and worship Him as your weapon against spiritual attacks:

    1. Say the name of Jesus.

    Ephesians 6:17 tells us the “armor of God” includes “the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 4:12 says “Salvation is found in [Jesus and] no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” Furthermore, Scripture tells us the word of God was made manifest in Jesus (John 1:1,14). Simply put, there is power in the name of Jesus. So incorporate that power not just by ending your prayers with the words “In Jesus’ name,” but start praising Jesus and Who He is to remind yourself (and the spiritual forces of darkness) of the power in that name. For example, pray: “Jesus, You are more powerful than my enemy.” “Jesus, when You are for me, who can be against me?” (Romans 8:31) “Jesus, Your name is above every name in heaven and earth” (Ephesians 1:21). “Jesus, You have all authority” (Matthew 28:18).

    When you say His name aloud, through praise or a call for help, you are enlisting all of heaven’s armies, which respond to the beck and call of Jesus and His loved ones (Psalm 18:6-19, Romans 10:13).

    2. Keep a heart of praise.

    First Thessalonians 5:18 exhorts us to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” To give thanks in all circumstances means to praise and thank Him in the midst of disappointment, in the midst of heartache, in the midst of pain. As those are often times when we are at our weakest, and most prone to spiritual attack, your praise-in-all-things mentality just may ward off the enemy’s attacks in the first place.

    But if you’re like Job, and you’re being attacked in spite of your upright living, then obey 1 Thessalonians 5:18 and thank Him that He is stronger than any forces that will ever come against you. Thank Him for how the trial or attack is developing you spiritually and perfecting and maturing your faith (James 1:2-4). As you keep a heart of praise, which is the essence of worship, you are abiding in Him. Psalm 22:3 says God inhabits the praises of His people or is enthroned in our praises. When God is inhabiting the person of praise, Satan’s attacks can irritate but not penetrate. Keep your heart and mind set on thanking Him and you will be wielding spiritual attack with a weapon of praise.

    3. Sing the scriptures.

    One thing I love about the old hymns and even some of the newer contemporary worship music is that many of them contain direct quotations from Scripture which make them easier to memorize and recite. All of Scripture’s Psalms (which literally mean “songs”) were originally set to music and meant to be sung. Compose your own tune in your head as you sing the Bible’s Psalms aloud or sing some Psalms or New Testament passages that have been set to music by 19th-century composers or contemporary music artists.

    As you sing the scriptures you remind yourself of who you are in God’s eyes. For example, you are His beloved (Jeremiah 31:3), you are His friend (John 15:13-15), you are His adopted child (Romans 8:15), you are “His masterpiece” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT). When you quote scripture back to Satan, he knows that scripture, and he trembles – and backs off – at the power of the written word of God.

    4. Pray Scripture aloud.

    We tend to think of worship as singing or some other form of praise, but worship also involves prayer, reading the Word, quiet admiration of and reflection on God, and focusing on His worthiness. In fact, think of worship as a focus on God’s “worth-ship.”

    I have found Psalm 145 particularly effective for teaching young believers how to pray through Scripture. Read each verse aloud, then paraphrase it and personalize it in a prayer back to God. For example, Psalm 145:8 reads: “The Lord is gracious and compassionate; Slow to anger and great in mercy” (NASB). Pray that back to God by personalizing it: “Lord, You are gracious and compassionate. Thank You for being slow to anger and great in mercy when it comes to Your love toward me. I know I can bring anything to You.”

    By personalizing the Word to your life and situations, keeping God’s attributes and the truth of Who He is intact in your prayer, you are applying Scripture to your everyday life. That is what it means to pray Scripture over your situation and to use it as a weapon in spiritual attack.

    5. Remember Who has the power and authority.

    If you learned in Sunday School or believe today that God and Satan are equals, that is a lie. Satan is a created being, a fallen angel, one who is still subject to God’s authority and judgment. Satan’s attacks are nothing compared to the Almighty omnipotent everlasting God who was not created but created all things. The battle – and any battle of yours – truly belongs to the Lord (Proverbs 21:31). First John 4:4 tells us greater is He who is in you (Christ Jesus), than he who is in the world (Satan and his minions). Romans 8:31 asks the rhetorical question: “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Those verses build our faith in the One who has absolute power and authority.

    Spiritual attacks often come when we are already feeling defeated — or when we believe we could never be defeated. Guard yourself against pride and a belief that you are above attack by reminding yourself of God’s authority and ability, not your own. Humble yourself before the Lord (James 4:10) and depend on His power to get you through.

    According to Ephesians 1:20-23, God raised Jesus from the dead and “seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.” Jesus, Himself said in Matthew 28:18: “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.” Praise Him for that authority, call upon Him and His authority, and realize the authority you have, in Him, as believers. When you worship and remember Christ’s authority, you are also reminding yourself and Satan of Satan’s imminent defeat.

    For more on abiding in Christ so you can withstand spiritual attack, see Cindi’s books, Women on the Edge and When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts.

    For further reading, see 8 Ways Praise Delivers You from Evil.

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Sakorn Sukkasemsakorn 

    Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker, Bible teacher, and award-winning writer who helps women and couples strengthen their relationship with God and others. She is also a mother, pastor’s wife, and author of 17 books, including When Women Walk Alone (more than 150,000 copies sold), When God Sees Your Tears, When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts, and When Couples Walk Together:31 Days to a Closer Connection, which she co-authored with her husband of 35 years. For more on her speaking ministry, coaching services for writers, and books to strengthen your soul, marriage, and parenting, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com. 

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  • 8 Signs Your Marriage Needs You to Be Less Busy

    8 Signs Your Marriage Needs You to Be Less Busy

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    Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is a time to weep, and a time to laugh, and chances are it’s time to laugh in your marriage, especially if you’ve gotten too busy. In our book, When Couples Walk Together, my husband and I explored the benefits of laughing together. Yes, life is serious, and apparently busy.

    But your marriage may be dying for some laughter. And if it is, you’re obviously too busy.

    My brother works as an analyst and code-breaker for the FBI. At times he deals with disturbing matters that he doesn’t want to take home with him. Because of that, he sees the value of looking for comedic events throughout the day to share with his wife, who is a second-grade teacher and does the same.

    This helps keep laugher in their marriage and sanity in their lives. Each evening they share the humorous events of their separate days and make sure the other knows all about their interactions at work so they better understand the funny events that occur.

    They even come up with code names for people so they can talk or laugh about it with some privacy in front of their children. Sometimes you have to go covert with the funny things you share. But that creates a bond, too.

    And keeping laughter in your marriage not only eases the stress, it keeps you talking and being deliberate and intentional in your marriage so you don’t let busyness or the burdens of the day overtake your marriage, too.

    8. More Than Six Months Has Passed Since the Two of You Went Away Together

    If you’re not getting away together at least twice a year, just you and your spouse, then you’re definitely too busy (or your marriage is not a priority).

    Most jobs allow at least two weeks of paid vacation a year. If you don’t get that, there are weekends. If either of you is working without at least two days off a week, you’re putting work or finances or the need to be busy over the health of your marriage. Make the sacrifice.

    My husband hasn’t had paid vacations in several years, now that he’s working two part-time jobs. Yet, we save all year to make up for his time off so that we can have some extended time together.

    What are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of your marriage? What are you willing to invest so the two of you can have a closer connection?

    Work can wait. The job can wait. In-laws and friends and expectations others have on you can wait. But perhaps your marriage can’t.

    You didn’t commit “til death do us part” to your employer or even your extended family. Invest in what matters most or make it a matter of prayer so that you can. God honors your desire to invest time in your marriage.

    Bring Him into the picture, surrender to His ways, and see Him come through for you by providing the rest you need. 

    For more on improving your communication with your spouse, see Cindi’s books, When a Woman Inspires Her Husband, and 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband. And for more on living a less busy life, see her books, When Women Long for Rest, and When You’re Running on Empty.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Antonio Diaz

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  • 3 Ways to Keep Your Love Alive through the Years

    3 Ways to Keep Your Love Alive through the Years

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    I’m sure you’ve heard it said that marriage grows richer through the years as your love for one another grows deeper.

    But, maybe you’re not feeling the love. Or experiencing the depth.

    Maybe you’re only seeing how your spouse has changed through the years.

    After 32 years of marriage, I’ve learned that love is not something we always feel. It isn’t an emotion, it’s an action. And it’s something God expects us to continue to extend toward one another whether we feel like it or not.

    (I’ve also learned that when we start complaining that our spouses have changed, they often believe we have changed just as much).

    While writing my books, When Couples Walk Together, When a Woman Inspires Her Husband and 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband, I interviewed nearly 100 couples married anywhere from 10-50 years to find out how they continue to keep love alive. From those interviews, along with personal experience in my own marriage, I came up with a list of three ingredients to keep loving one another through the years even when our spouse has changed and the feelings don’t show up.

    And the amazing thing about this list is, when we do our part to love regardless of our feelings, God shows up and many times, in His grace, brings those feelings back.

    The Kind of Love God Wants in Our Marriages

    God designed marriage to work perfectly. And I imagine, before sin came into the picture, Adam and Eve had no problem loving each other. After all, they were each sinless and perfect.

    Yet, their sin created a whole new dynamic for every marriage (Genesis 3). As a result of sin’s presence in our lives, the only kind of “love” that comes naturally is that feeling of infatuation we had when we first met our spouse.

    Back when you and I first married we saw in our spouses what we wanted to see. “Love is blind,” they say. And then through the years, our eyes are opened to reality and we see many things we may not have wanted to see at first.

    We saw that our spouse was a sinner. We saw they were capable of letting us down and causing us pain. And they saw the same sin and capabilities in us.

    But agape love–God’s kind of love–sees all and still loves. God knows everything about us, including our imperfections, and He still loves us.

    He knows what lurks in our minds and hearts, and He knows not only our past sins but our future ones as well–and He still extends love. God loves us unconditionally and in spite of who we really are. And that’s how He calls us to love one another–including our spouses.

    Jesus said in John 13:34, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, you must love one another.” Jesus loved us by giving His life for us. He showed sacrificial, persevering and enduring love for us. And by doing so, He showed us how to love our spouses.

    Based on how Jesus loves us, here are three ways to love your spouse through the years:

    Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Lina Trochez

    1. Show Sacrificial Love

    As humans, and therefore sinners, it’s easy to put ourselves first.

    I am ashamed when I think of my Lord’s example of washing His disciples’ feet and dying for the sins of mankind. I’m sure my selfishness is displayed in my marriage more than I realize and that my husband sees it. And of course, that is not Calvary love.

    Calvary love–or sacrificial love–dies to self. Calvary love puts another first. Calvary love says “Not my will, but yours,” “Not my happiness, but yours,” “Not my preferences, but yours” and “Not my fulfillment, but yours.”

    How can our spouses not be encouraged, inspired, and motivated to love us back when we demonstrate to them that kind of sacrificial love? And as we do, our love for our spouse grows deeper.

    Yes, God created marriage to be equally fulfilling for both partners. But we are sinners, and therefore at least one of us must bend and become unlike the other. At least one of us must choose to be more like Christ. To show sacrificial love to our spouse is to ask yourself “What is it costing me?”

    During the early years of our marriage it is a joy to love our spouses. But as the years go by and the pressures of life set in, it becomes more of a challenge to show that love consistently. And if that love does not cost you something in some way, it is not sacrificial as Christ’s love is for us.

    Such love will sometimes cost us an inconvenience, a delay, or a setback. Other times, sacrificial love will cost us our own desires. But such love is worth it. It shows our spouses–and God–that we do know something of Calvary love.

    2. Practice Persevering Love

    Scripture speaks frequently of God’s great lovingkindness, or steadfast love which endures forever (1 Chronicles 16, 2 Chronicles 7, Psalm 136). Some translations call it His unfailing love. Regardless of the terms, it is a love that perseveres.

    The most thorough description of love that we can find in Scripture is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Quoted at many weddings, this passage describes persevering or enduring love–the kind of love that just won’t quit.

    Here we see a beautiful description of God’s love and we are instructed to practice this love toward others, especially our spouse:

    “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (ESV, emphasis added).

    Did you catch that? The New International Version says love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” If that last line didn’t convict your heart, enough, look the opening words of the next verse, where we are told more about this love we are to practice: “Love never fails” (verse 8).

    Fewer marriages would struggle today if just one partner in every marriage practiced that definition of love. Yet, can you imagine what marriages would be like if both partners practiced enduring love? There would be no strife, no stress, no bitterness, no built-up baggage. There would be no devastation, nor divorce.

    There would be two people who daily give up their rights to themselves so they can serve one another. There would be a perfect picture, in our love toward each other, of God’s love toward us.

    If your spouse does not seem like the same person you married, yet you are still together, that is persevering love. That is love that says “I made a promise; now I’m keeping it.”

    God did the same with you and me. Take a look at His unending, persevering love for you:

    • He has promised He will never leave you (Hebrews 13:5)
    • He is gentle toward you when you’re broken (Psalm 147:3)
    • He promises nothing will ever come between the two of you (Romans 8:39)
    • He loved you in spite of yourself, and still does (Romans 5:8)
    • He is constantly thinking about you (Psalm 139:17-18)

    How can you practice persevering love toward your spouse the way God practices it toward you?

    Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Heng Films

    3. Extend Renewing Love

    Because we are not like God, who never grows weary or wounded, we must know how to renew our love for our spouses. We can’t simply wait around for our feelings to be there.

    I’m so glad God’s love for us isn’t based on His feelings! Rather, He has determined to love us, regardless. He calls us to love one another (and our spouses) that way, too.

    Because the world will take it out of us. Pain will take it out of us. The everyday stuff of life will take it out of us. But thanks be to God, He can replenish it in us.

    In Isaiah 40:28-31, we have this encouragement from God, who can fill you up with love for spouse:

    “Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
    The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.

    He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
    He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.

    Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
    but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.

    They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.”

    If your love for your spouse has waned, how do you renew it? How do you get back that delight in each other when something in your spouse or in this life has taken it out of you?

    By waiting on the Lord for His strength, which will enable you to love your spouse, and by going back to what first drew the two of you together. Was it your spouse’s smile, sense of humor, integrity, charm and wit, or love for God?

    Ask God to help you focus on what you once saw and trust Him to open your eyes to see it once again.

    Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Toa Heftiba

    Cindi McMenamin headshotCindi McMenamin is a national speaker, Bible teacher, and award-winning writer who helps women and couples strengthen their relationship with God and others. She is also a mother, pastor’s wife, and author of 17 books, including When Women Walk Alone (more than 150,000 copies sold), When God Sees Your Tears,  Letting God Meet Your Emotional Needs, and When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts. For more on her speaking ministry, coaching services for writers, and books to strengthen your soul, marriage, and parenting, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.

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    Cindi McMenamin

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  • 10 Ways to Recapture Your Husband’s Heart

    10 Ways to Recapture Your Husband’s Heart

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    In Song of Songs 4:16, the new bride says: “Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.” This young, obviously confident bride invited her husband to find pleasure in her. There is nothing more appealing to a husband than for his own wife to initiate lovemaking and that happens when you and I are confident in who we are, confident we are loved, and confident we won’t be rejected.

    In Song of Songs 7:1-9, Solomon gives a detailed description of his bride from the sandals on her feet to the hair on top of her head. Some commentators believe she might have been dancing before him as he compiled this description.

    Now you might be thinking If I were a young bride with a lean flat stomach and looked like her, yeah, I’d dance before my husband. But perhaps you aren’t comfortable with your husband inspecting you from head to toe. Or maybe he’s made a remark in the past that has you feeling self-conscious. I realize it is ingrained in us by our culture (and perhaps by some past wounds, too) to not be an “object” before any man and to be offended at any reference to your body being a point of visual pleasure for your husband. Yet, please remember something: You are his for life – the only woman your husband can gaze upon and enjoy with a right heart before God.

    Think about it. If your husband looks at anyone else the way he is allowed by God to look at you, he will be committing adultery in his heart. So, let him feast his eyes on you. Allow him to enjoy what he sees by taking the best care of yourself that you can, by dressing nicely, smelling pleasantly, and looking at him with eyes that you once had for him. Perhaps as you begin to look at him the way you once did, he will return that look the way he once did. 

    Photo Credit: ©Unsplash

    Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of 17 books who has been married 30 years to a pastor and introvert. Her newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband, released Feb. 1 from Harvest House Publishers, and will help you diffuse the tension and heat up the passion in your marriage. Grab it at a special introductory sale price today or find more resources to strengthen your walk with God, your marriage, or your parenting, at her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.

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    Cindi McMenamin

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