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  • What Is Lust? 4 Ways to Avoid Falling into This Sin

    What Is Lust? 4 Ways to Avoid Falling into This Sin

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    According to Baker’s Biblical Dictionary, Lust is “a strong craving or desire, often of a sexual nature. Though used relatively infrequently (twenty-nine times) in Scripture, a common theme can be seen running through its occurrences. The word is never used in a positive context; rather, it is always seen in a negative light, relating primarily either to a strong desire for sexual immorality or idolatrous worship.”

    Furthermore, Baker states “It is obvious from John’s writings that our lusts do not come from God but from the world. However, we are reminded by John that the world and its desires (lusts) pass away, whereas “the man who does the will of God lives forever” ( 1 John 2:16-17 ). Here we see that our lusts are in direct violation of God’s perfect will, because they usually are misdirected, moving and leading us away from God to our own selfish desires.

    Our lusts have a very powerful influence on our actions if they are not caught and corrected immediately. We must remember that lust occurs in the mind and is not a physical action in and of itself. It does, however, have great potential of becoming an action — indeed a very damaging action. That is why we must heed the admonition of Paul in 2 Corinthians 10:5: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

    Lust is defined as sinful longing – the inward sin which leads to the falling away from God ( Romans 1:21 ). Lust, the origin of sin, has its place in the heart to act upon impulses. 

    Marriage and Sexual Intimacy

    “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 (ESV)

    God’s design for sexuality was intended for one woman and one man within the bonds of marriage. It was His desire all along for sexual intimacy to be shared and enjoyed within marriage, and that has not changed. Yet, our culture has hijacked God’s intention for sexuality and turned much of this desire into a lust issue. Lust, essentially, is a sexual inclination that does not include the value of people or God at its center and also lies outside the boundaries of God’s design. Pornography. Masturbation. Homosexuality. Sex outside of marriage and or with multiple partners. These are all acts outside of His will that extract others and God for self-interest.

    We see it everywhere, too. And every form is accepted. In fact, our society parades around that people can find freedom in sex and how it’s a tool to express one’s identity. But we’ve missed the mark and made a mess of it. Lust leads to sin, and sin destroys. Paul gives a stern warning against lust in 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8.

    “Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.”

    Thankfully, we serve a gracious God who covers what sex and lust have exposed in our lives. He is a God of redemption and restoration. And I know this first hand. Growing up, I struggled with an addiction to pornography and masturbation. But now I can testify to you that God set me free from both after I gave my heart to Him.

    But the sexual addiction still had a root, deep down, and it came bursting out in my twenties. When I was in ministry at a large church in the Midwest, I did the very thing I said I never do: had sex outside of marriage. I brought confession before my pastors, and I am so thankful they walked that journey with me in love and grace. But they didn’t cover it up, either (as none should). I had to step out of ministry, and my life came crumbling down in many ways after that. I thought I wasn’t worthy of His redemption, and it took me some time to come to a place where I received what He already wanted to do for me.

    I now love telling people about this amazing God who extended to me unmerited grace and restored my life! But as you can see, sin had a cost. Lust took me down hard and shattered my life. And as gracious as God is, it’s not an endorsement to sin as you’d like. Jesus said in John 8:11, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” You should be alert in your pursuit not to sin, to guard against the lust of the flesh. 

    Four Ways to Avoid and Overcome Lust

    1. Admit Your Weakness

    You must first realize that there is no sin you are exempt from committing. In fact, temptation of any kind can come to anyone. To say you “would never” do that or engage in this sin is both proud and dangerous. Admit that you are not strong enough to refrain from all things and realize you need to guard yourself against temptation in all areas of your life.

    2. Put on the Armor of God

    The armor of God, as outlined in Ephesians 6, details how you should spiritually dress each and every day. You must intentionally put each piece on if you want to be protected from the enemy’s schemes. And it also provides you with a defense mechanism—the Word of God. You’ll need this armor to withstand temptation.

    3. Battle with Scripture

    Remember, the Word of God is your only defense weapon when it comes to the Armor of God. It’s what Jesus used in the wilderness to fight Satan’s attempt to throw him off. If Jesus used it to resist temptation, then we should too. Find verses that strengthen you against the temptations you are guarding against and memorize them. Then, when temptation comes calling, recite those verses as a weapon against the enemy.

    4. Establish Boundaries

    Boundaries are necessary for guarding against lust. And not just identifying them, but keeping them at all cost. These are areas you do not want to blur—not for the sake of your righteousness. Here are a few examples of firm boundaries: Copy your spouse on emails with people of the opposite sex. Put software on all devices to block porn. Don’t ride alone in the car with someone of the opposite sex if either of you are married. Refrain from hanging out with your boyfriend or girlfriend at home alone.

    Remember, these are not limitations to steal away your freedom. Instead, these boundaries and guidelines give you the freedom to live purposefully in your God-ordained call without spot or blemish. To empower you to live righteously for His Kingdom. It’s freedom from sin that will mean life or death.

    What Does the Bible say about Lust?

    • 1 Corinthians 10:23, “All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.”
    • Ephesians 5:3, “But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.”
    • 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
    • Matthew 5:29, “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.”
    • 1 John 2:16, “For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.”
    • 2 Timothy 2:22, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
    • Colossians 3:5, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
    • 1 Peter 2:11, “Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.”

    * These verses aren’t all-inclusive but represent a great starting point. Continue digging into Scripture for yourself and uncover what God has for you. Here are more Bible Verses about Lust

    Brittany Rust has a passion to give encouragement to the world-weary believer through her writing, speaking, and podcasting. She is the author of Untouchable: Unraveling the Myth That You’re Too Faithful to Fall, founder of For the Mama Heart, and hosts the Epic Fails podcast.  Brittany, her husband Ryan, and their son Roman make their home in the Rocky Mountains, pursuing outdoor adventures, great food, and memorable stories together. Learn more at www.brittanyrust.com.

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Jovanmandic

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  • 8 Bible Truths to Remember in an Unhappy Marriage

    8 Bible Truths to Remember in an Unhappy Marriage

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    Growing up, I remember watching romance movies and thinking, why are they making love so difficult? Just go to that person, apologize, and makeup. Live happily ever after you’re obviously meant to live. Boy, was I naive. I’m nearly five years into marriage and let’s be honest — marriage is the absolute hardest thing to do in this world. What starts as fun and romantic can turn to bickering and stonewalling.

    No one escapes the difficulties of marriage; they all have ups and downs. Even seasons when you’re not quite sure if you’re going to make it. For many, even though divorce is a bad word, the thought of it crosses our minds at the darkest of moments.

    I used to imagine I’d be a patient, gracious, and loving wife. That I’d be the kind of spouse that made marriage easy. Yet again, I was so naive. Because what I didn’t see in those movies were real life and my own sinful nature. If I’m being really honest, I haven’t been the wife I imagined. I’ve been selfish, proud, and reacted poorly more often than I’d like to admit. I’ve stonewalled and retreated, snapped out of anger, and been unkind. 

    If we aren’t diligent, those mistakes can snowball into a barren marriage. Two people living in a home, like ships passing in the night—near but not seen.

    8 Bible Truths for an Unhappy Marriage

    If you’re reading this, you’ve likely been there, are there, or prepare for days ahead. Days when you don’t like your spouse. Days when you don’t feel like talking, let alone forgiving. Moments when you’re so hurt or angry that checking out seems like an option. Days when you’re not sure your marriage is going to make it.

    For those days, I have eight thoughts I want you to remember. Eight truths I want you to carry with you in those dark days.

    1. God Can Heal, No Matter How Impossible Reconciliation Seems

    It may seem that the hurt and distance is too far to come back from, but neither is impossible for God to restore. In fact, that’s what He does best: redeem. When you surrender to His working and pray for His healing, God can go to work in even the direst situation. If He can conquer death, which He did, then He can bring that same victory to your marriage.

    Go to Him daily in prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, and invite Him into the relationship. Even if all seems lost—there’s still hope in His hands.

    “And Jesus said to him, ‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes’.” Mark 9:23

    2. Pray for Your Spouse and Marriage

    Prayer is often lost in the busyness but it’s one of the most important things you can do. When you pray, things happen.

    It’s hard to see victory without prayer so bring your marriage to the Lord daily. Pray for healing and reconciliation; invite Him to help you be more patient and kind; ask God to work in your spouse’s heart.

    A devotional I highly recommend is The Power of a Praying Wife and The Power of a Praying Husband, both by Stormie Omartian.

    “In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.” Psalm 18:6

    3. Love Is an Action, Not a Feeling

    There will be days you don’t feel love for your spouse or even like them. But love isn’t a feeling, it’s an action. It’s something you are called to have for everyone, and that is particularly true for your spouse. 

    The honest truth is, every marriage will have days that are harder than others. And most will see days when love seems distant. But every marriage that has stood the test of trial and time is a marriage that fought for love even when there was no emotion for it. Action kicked in and love endured.

    Even when you don’t feel like showing your spouse love, do it anyway. It can be the very thing that helps turn the tide.

    “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

    4. Adopt Forgiveness

    Forgiveness is key in any relationship. We all say careless words in passing or make selfish decisions that hurt those we love most. And your spouse has or will likely do this to you. When this happens, adopt forgiveness.

    In those hard seasons, we want to withhold forgiveness until our spouse has made right on the hurt we feel. And over time, our own lack of forgiveness builds a hard wall around both hearts. One of the best ways to soften a heart is to forgive. No matter how often you must.

    Jesus said in Matthew 18 that there is essentially no cap on forgiveness. Peter asked if forgiving seven times was enough, but Jesus responded to forgive seventy-seven times. When your spouse has hurt you, remember to forgive quickly. Even is they don’t ask for it, forgive. And do it often.

    “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:13-14

    5. Show Empathy

    Empathy goes a long way in a relationship. If I’m one hundred percent honest with you, this can be hard for me. I’m an Enneagram eight and if you know anything about an eight, vulnerability is hard and we want to fix the problem. So letting my guard down and empathizing is work for me. I’m not great at it but I strive to grow in this area because I see how valuable it is not just in marriage but in all relationships.

    Jesus always showed great empathy. When He saw the people as sheep without a shepherd, He went to them (Matthew 9). When He saw the sick and hurting, He healed them all (Matthew 8). When Jesus saw the Samaritan woman—a person Jews would avoid—He went to her because He knew she was worthy of being seen (John 4).

    Remember in the hard times that your spouse is hurting too—not just you. Pain causes us to draw in but you’re most like Jesus when you press in with love. When you love the unlovable. 

    “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” 1 Peter 3:8

    6. Remember Your Vows

    This is basic but it’s powerful. 

    Over time, with the hardships and pains that come with life, what you shared in the beginning fades. You forget how fun you use to have together. The wonderful memories you made. You even forget the vows you once made to one another.

    Pull out the vows you wrote to your spouse, or watch your wedding ceremony video. And remember the commitment you made to one another. Remember how you started out with fierce loyalty to each other—in the good and the bad—and renew your commitment to the marriage.

    Perhaps even consider reading your vows to one another again.

    “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:7-9

    7. Be Willing to Work Hard

    No lasting marriage has ever been easy. In fact, if you were to ask most people who are still married into their golden years, they’d probably say there were days they didn’t know if their marriage would make it.

    You will never make it to the end unless you’re willing to do the hard work. To fight your emotions and do the right thing. To forgive and endure and show empathy. You’ll have to fight spiritual battles over your marriage with prayer and God’s Word.

    “So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-36

    8. Seasons Don’t Last Forever

    There is a season for everything—that’s what Solomon shared at the end of his life. After his abandonment of the Lord and, it appears, his first marriage, he reflected on the emptiness of chasing after his own desires. 

    In those darkest days in a marriage, you may imagine a life apart from your spouse. But what Solomon essentially said is that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Find the purpose in the season and know that this time won’t last forever.

    There are so many various seasons in life and marriage. There will be dark days but there will also be beautiful days. If you will commit to the hard work marriage requires, you’ll come out of the hard season. And on the other side of that hard season is a love stronger than the love you had before.

    “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

    More Scriptures about Marriage

    Proverbs 19:14 ESV – House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

    1 Peter 3:7 ESV – Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

    Proverbs 18:22 ESV – He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

    Genesis 2:24 ESV – Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

    Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, …

    1 Peter 4:8 ESV – Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

    Proverbs 31:10 ESV – An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

    Psalm 85:10 ESV – Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other.

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/People Images

    Brittany Rust has a passion to see people impacted by the power of God’s Word and His abundant grace through writing and speaking. She is the founder of Truth and Grace Ministries, Truth x Grace Women, and is the author of five books. Brittany lives with her husband, Ryan, and son, Roman, in Castle Rock, Colorado. Learn more at www.brittanyrust.com. 

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