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Tag: Britney Spears Oops!…I Did It Again

  • Mondo Ironico #8: Britney’s Formerly “Too Sexy For Children” Looks Suddenly Being Distilled Into Toy Form

    Mondo Ironico #8: Britney’s Formerly “Too Sexy For Children” Looks Suddenly Being Distilled Into Toy Form

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    In a series called Mondo Ironico, let us discuss how fucking antithetical something in pop culture is.

    For anyone who witnessed the rise of Britney Spears that truly began in 1999 (though her illustrious debut single, “…Baby One More Time,” was released in 1998), it’s impossible to forget that the number one criticism lobbed against her was being “too sexy” for the demographic she was theoretically “geared toward”: little girls, tweens and teenagers. As many pop stars after her would learn (including the likes of Miley Cyrus and Olivia Rodrigo), the pressure to remain “Disneyfied” was constant, even after Spears herself was no longer in her teenage years.

    The condemnation surrounding what she wore as her success amplified got so out of hand that, after the 2000 VMAs—during which she wore one of her then most scandalous outfits to date (a sheer bejeweled bra top with matching low-rise pants that made for a shimmering nude effect [with help from a coordinating nude thong, naturally] which presaged her literally nude look in the “Toxic” video)—MTV thought it would be a cute idea to make her sit down and watch some of the hot takes from people on the street about the way she dressed.

    Some of the comments included, “If I had a little girl, I wouldn’t want her to emulate Britney Spears, you know, if she’s like twelve, thirteen, anything like that,” “Think about those twelve-year-olds that listen to your music and think about the twelve-year-olds who saw you on the VMAs. Think what they’re thinking. They’re probably thinking that it’s okay to dress like that, which it’s not.” To this particular criticism, Spears responded to the screen, “I’m not their parent, man.” Another commenter added, “She’s a role model to little kids and she doesn’t need to dress like that.” The furor surrounding Spears’ body and how much of it she chose to reveal as the 00s went on reached another crescendo when, during her now infamous 2003 interview with Diane Sawyer, the latter knife-diggingly mentioned how Kendel Ehrlich (the wife of then Maryland governor Robert Ehrlich) said, in reference to the way she dressed/was a “bad” role model for her young fans (not the male ones, mind you), “You know, really, if I had an opportunity to shoot Britney Spears, I think I would.” Naturally, it came as no surprise that Ehrlich would later serve in the Trump administration.

    Conversations around Spears’ body and being “too sexy” gradually began to taper off after 2008’s Circus, when, conveniently, a new batch of pop stars began rising to prominence—including Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift (even if then still in “country” form) and Katy Perry (who didn’t know her peak would cease with Teenage Dream). This wasn’t just because the media was trying to be “nicer” to her after contributing to her very public breakdown in 2007 through early 2008, but because, by pop star standards, she was finally considered day-old bread (she turned twenty-seven the year Circus came out). In the time since then, it has also become less acceptable to make comments about a woman’s body or how she dresses—and now, perhaps even unacceptable to be anywhere near the realm of what Eminem would call a “stan.”

    By the same token, female pop stars have seemingly decided to “cover up” in general (with Billie Eilish being one of the first to set this trend during the teenage years of her initial stardom). This phenomenon was crystallized in a 2021 Salon article titled, “From Britney to Lorde: Young women shift from embracing body positivity to body neutrality as teens.” Which, of course, only adds further insult to Spears’ injury—as she seems to be positioned as some “relic” of what pop stardom used to mean when, in fact, she was arguably the last great show(wo)man.

    All of this is to say that, after everything Spears endured in terms of the venomous rhetoric about what she chose to wear (or not wear) during the first eight-ish years of her career, some of those formerly salacious looks are now being deemed perfectly suitable to be turned into Fisher-Price Little People. Specifically, Britney Spears is becoming part of the Little People Collector editions that have also extended to the likes of The Beatles and E.T. Obviously, compared to those two, Spears’ Little People renderings are patently more “controversial.” Except that we’ve now entered an epoch where there is really no such thing. In fact, it’s more controversial to be conservative in the present climate than it is to be “liberal” (mind you, if you tear the mask off a liberal, you’re likely to find a conservative). Thus, the ease with which Fisher-Price opted to make miniature versions of Spears in some of her most “notorious” looks is but par for the blasé-about-sexuality course.

    Among the looks selected to immortalize in “Little People” renderings is a version of Spears in her “…Baby One More Time” schoolgirl outfit, her “Oops!…I Did It Again” catsuit, her 2001 VMAs “I’m A Slave 4 U” costume and the flight attendant getup from “Toxic” (apparently, they had to stop short at choosing her naked-save-for-some-glued-on-diamonds look from that video)—and yes, these variations of Spears have already been rendered in Funko Pop! form. Her “toy-ification” knowing no limits, which of course has plenty of symbolic implications.

    Another irony about the whole thing is that it is precisely because of the decreased interest in sex (all in keeping with George Orwell’s 1984 predictions) that Spears’ formerly “overly provocative” looks are no longer a source of such frenzied “hullabaloo.” In short, no one is really “that interested” in the voyeuristic sensibilities Spears once stoked at a time when the internet’s sexual scope was far more limited. Thus, the sudden “no big deal” aura surrounding Fisher-Price’s decision (or rather, the millennial in charge of said department who likely made it) to turn these erstwhile “scandalous” instances in Spears’ career into toys suitable for “children ages three and up” (a very big range, obviously) is not just a sign o’ the times, but yet another slap in the face to Spears.

    Though, hopefully, at the very least, she 1) sanctioned the use of her image for this product and 2) will receive the majority of the money it rakes in. Though that still feels like a small token of “justice” for all the suffering she underwent for her “too sexed-up” persona before it was deemed suitable for distilling into a collectible toy.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Like Everything That “Pays Homage” to 00s Pop Culture, Halsey’s “Lucky” Is A Pale, Unsatisfying Imitation

    Like Everything That “Pays Homage” to 00s Pop Culture, Halsey’s “Lucky” Is A Pale, Unsatisfying Imitation

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    The rollout of Halsey’s “new era” has been almost as rocky as Katy Perry’s. While the latter tried to pass off the Dr. Luke-produced “Woman’s World” as a feminist anthem, Halsey, instead, opted to pass off the second single from her as-of-yet-untitled fifth album, “Lucky,” as an “homage” to Britney Spears, better known as the Queen of the 2000s. And while Halsey was certain to announce of recreating the song/video for Spears’ 2000 hit, “I wouldn’t even dream of doing it without her blessing!,” Spears’ response felt more that slightly “off” if that was truly the case.

    Even so, Spears later updated her stance on the song after deleting the original post, commenting, “Fake news !!! That was not me on my phone !!! I love Halsey and that’s why I deleted it 🌹 !!!” This reply, in all honesty, sounded much more in line with her usual manner of speaking, complete with an emoji usage and lots of exclamation points. In contrast, the original statement came across as too composed and clinical to be the true mark of Spears, with whoever “stole” her phone writing, “For obvious reasons I’m very upset about the Halsey video. I feel harassed, violated and bullied. I didn’t know an artist like her and someone I looked up to and admired would illustrate me in such an ignorant way by tailoring me as a superficial pop star with no heart or concern at all. I have my own health problems which is why I took down my IG account yesterday. I will definitely be putting it back up to show I CARE. I’m speaking with my lawyers today to see what can be done on this matter. It feels illegal and downright cruel.” Rather than sounding like “authentic” Spears, it has the mark of an AI-generated response based on some of her previous soundbites (like when she said during the Piece of Me residency in undercutting reference to her conservatorship, “It feels kind of illegal doing this with this mic in my hand right now, it feels so weird”). But whether Spears was in some way behind the originally expressed sentiment or not, the knee-jerk reaction of contempt is not without its merit. For, so often, attempts at homage not only tend to fall flat, but come across as rather insulting (like Kelly Osbourne covering Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach” back in 2002 or Tina Fey sanctioning the musical-movie version of Mean Girls in 2024).

    From the moment the video opens on a child version of Halsey outside a home of, let’s say, modest appearance, and the 00s-inspired pink font spelling out “Lucky” with a star around the “L” tops it off, it’s obvious that this is going to be uncomfortable to watch. Worse still, as though to play up the “inferior artist imitating a greater one” angle, Halsey tapped Gia Coppola to direct the video. “Child Halsey” then runs to get into a car as the opening line, “I am so lucky” plays. Of course, it’s tinged with a sardonic bent, for there’s nothing that lucky about being relentlessly scrutinized. Something that Britney actually knows much more about than most pop stars, Halsey included. After all, it was because of her being subjected to so many egregious privacy violations in the 00s that a law was passed in California in 2009 that made it “a crime to take and sell unauthorized photos of celebrities in ‘personal or familial activity.’” Few other celebrities can lay claim to paving such a path for basic human rights for celebrities. Obviously, all it cost Britney was her mental health. Indeed, Spears was diagnosed as being bipolar (just as Halsey was) in 2008 and has stated of the condition, “I have always been kind of shy, since I was a little girl. It’s who I am to be modest, so I really can’t help it. I turn into this different person…seriously, bipolar disorder.” The “different person” she turns into for the stage was always difficult to reconcile with the shy girl from the South. And maybe it was the less shy version of herself that lashed out in response to Halsey’s rendering of “Lucky.” A version that tries to take the specific pain of Spears and make it her own.

    And as this version of Halsey’s childhood unfolds, we see a cold, distant father walk into the house while his daughter watches TV—the two scarcely acknowledge one another as the lyric, “Did it all to be included, my self-loathing so deep-rooted” plays in the background. After being ignored (the ultimate parental sin, as confirmed by Allison Reynolds [Ally Sheedy] in The Breakfast Club), she retreats into her poster-filled room. The posters, of course, are of Halsey, styled in Spears-circa-the-00s looks. The girl then puts a load of what is now referred to as “Euphoria makeup” on (even though Euphoria takes its makeup aesthetic from the 2000s), mimicking dance moves that are decidedly pulled from a Spears video (either that, or Madonna’s “Vogue”). The camera then focuses in on one of the Halsey posters so that the Halsey “inside” of it (wearing a sheer, crystal-embellished bodysuit designed to remind viewers of the “Toxic” video) can come to life and parrot the original “Lucky” chorus, switching it up to use the first person point of view instead: “But I’m so lucky, I’m a star/And I cry, cry, cry in my lonely heart, thinkin, ‘If there’s nothin’ missin’ in my life/Then why do these tears come at night?’” Well, maybe they come now because of the ostensible rejection Spears displayed toward this song.

    A crushing blow, considering that Halsey recently stated during a promotional interview for Maxxxine that the defining star for her growing up was “Britney Spears, all day. I didn’t think anyone could be, like, more of a star. I actually don’t know that I even knew at that—I was like six—because I was also born in 1994… But I was, like, I didn’t know that I knew she was a person outside of the CD. I thought she lived in there. And every time I played it, she had to sing.” A “childlike” belief (replicated in making Halsey come to life inside the abovementioned poster) that’s eerily telling of how much Spears was viewed as nothing more than a trained monkey “created” solely to amuse the masses. To dance and sing like a puppet. It was no wonder she started to let loose as the mid-00s progressed, shedding the “good girl” image she was saddled with from the outset of her career. This period is alluded to in Halsey’s video as well, during a moment when she can be seen drunkenly laughing in a nightclub setting before appearing on a red carpet (looking more like 00s-era P!nk than Spears) for “TGI” (the fake music news network modeled after the MTV logo).

    In the next few scenes, the homage front starts to get even messier as Halsey tries to jam-pack a hodgepodge of Britney-in-the-00s-related images into the narrative. This includes getting out of a car and being swarmed by paparazzi, wearing a basketball jersey in the recording studio, being miserable in her fancy house—and this is where the nod to “Everytime” comes in. Because, for whatever reason, Simon Rex is there to play her abusive boyfriend. An actor choice on par with Stephen Dorff playing Britney’s abusive boyfriend in the “Everytime” video (which owes its indelible look to direction by David LaChapelle). And, to play up the notion that Halsey, like Britney, got her poor taste in men as a result of the first man she had as an example—her father—Coppola intercuts the scene of Halsey and Rex arguing (as bombastically as Spears and Dorff) with Halsey and her father arguing when she was a child. A moment befitting the lyric, “Inner child that’s unrecruited, truth is/I’m not suited for it.” Indeed, perhaps only pursued “it” a.k.a. fame “just to be liked by strangers that she met online.”

    This idea of not being built for such a machine has also been emphasized by Spears, who stated, “I’m not really made for this industry.” And yes, anyone who is especially sensitive should avoid what Lady Gaga calls “The Fame” at all costs. Not that Spears had too much of a choice once her parents pushed her down the path for their own selfish, money-grubbing motives. A path that led to endless scrutiny, particularly of Spears’ body. To that point, another lyrical moment on Halsey’s “Lucky” reeks of Britney singing, “I’m Mrs. She’s Too Big Now She’s Too Thin” during “Piece of Me,” with Halsey phrasing it as, “And why she losin’ so much weight?/I heard it’s from the drugs she ate.”

    There’s another somewhat awkward allusion to Britney when Halsey also mentions, “I shaved my head four times because I wanted to/And then I did it one more time ’cause I got sick,” with everyone knowing that Britney’s 2007 head shaving is what led her down an abyssal spiral from which she couldn’t return. Especially with regard to that moment being leveraged as a prime example of her “madness,” therefore the need for her to be placed under a conservatorship. As for referencing the original “Lucky” video itself, the only instance of that is in the idea that there are two Halseys—the younger one and the famous one, with the latter watching over the former. The two only meet at the end of the video, when Famous Halsey (dressed, incidentally, like Kate Hudson in Almost Famous, another piece of pop culture from 2000) sits next to Young Halsey on a swing set. Alas, in the very final scene, Coppola returns to the swing set with Famous Halsey sitting all alone, the child version of herself having disappeared. An obvious metaphor for how all innocence is stamped out of you once you’ve been emotionally bulldozed for long enough.

    And it seems that’s the case for Halsey, who recently wrote of her “return” to music, “It’s hard to want to engage in a space that is completely devoid of any kindness, sympathy, patience; or to be honest human decency [oxymoron]. Especially after years of hiding from the interactions for fear that this EXACT thing would happen. I don’t know man. I almost lost my life. I am not gonna do anything that doesn’t make me happy anymore. I can’t spiritually afford it.” Of course, like Doja Cat threatening to quit music back in 2022, it’s unlikely that Halsey will really stop making music. Unlike Spears, who genuinely seems committed to preserving what’s left of her sanity by avoiding the music business like the plague.

    As for Halsey’s attempt at doing “Lucky” justice, let’s just say that, on “Without Me” (a video during which Halsey also has an abusive relationship displayed by intense arguing [with a G-Eazy lookalike, of course]), the singer incorporates a lyric from Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me A River.” Specifically, “You don’t have to say just what you did/I already know/I had to go and find out from them.” That Halsey chooses to recreate the most affronting moment from the single vis-à-vis Timberlake’s false narrative about how Spears cheated on him makes her, frankly, unworthy of covering any Brit song. No matter how much she’s touted herself as a fan.

    And so, while Halsey wanted to make a “moving” track/“pay homage” to Britney and the 2000s, it’s hard to feel much for it when all it does is take the musical backing of Des’ree’s “You Gotta Be” (though some insist Monica’s “Angel of Mine”) and pairs it with the chorus of “Lucky.” Leaving little of Halsey to be found.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Barcelona Baby: Dua Lipa Channels Numerous Pop Girls in Video for “Illusion”

    Barcelona Baby: Dua Lipa Channels Numerous Pop Girls in Video for “Illusion”

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    As Dua Lipa continues to build the anticipation for her long-awaited third album, Radical Optimism, she’s already brought us a third single in the wake of “Houdini” and “Training Season.” The theme of “Illusion,” as it’s called (and in keeping with a title like “Houdini”), is more closely aligned to the one in “Training Season,” with Lipa telling off any man trying to spin some false yarn. In order to help convey that message in visual form is the always impressive Tanu Muino, who has increasingly branched out into collaborating with American musicians in lieu of the Ukrainian ones she started out working for. In fact, it was, of all things, a Katy Perry video (2019’s “Small Talk”) that signaled her transition to working with some of the biggest names in American pop and hip hop/R&B music (including Cardi B [“Up”], Normani [“Wild Side”], Lil Nas X [“Montero”] and Doja Cat [“Attention”]). 

    Dua Lipa only adds to that growing list and, together, her and Muino bring one of their most elaborate music video concepts yet—one that relies on the sumptuous, intoxicating backdrop of Barcelona. Indeed, it’s as though Lipa is beckoning us to join her in “summer mode” despite many locations still being hopelessly trapped in winter mode (spring season or not). And yes, it’s apparent that Radical Optimism is vying for “album of the summer” status, not just with its release date (May 3rd), but its water-filled album cover (featuring Lipa casually swimming near/toward a shark, presented in the Jaws manner of protruding fin only). “Illusion,” too, is water-filled, thanks to being filmed at the Piscina Municipal de Montjuïc. Known for hosting major sporting events, including the 1992 Olympics, the pool’s location on the Montjuïc hill is what affords it such a glorious panoramic view of the city, complete with Gaudí’s Sagrada Família in the background. A feature that Kylie Minogue opted to exclude from her 2003 “Slow” video, during which she also relished the cinematic potential of the location, albeit solely with overhead shots of her writhing seductively around in an orgiastic heap with all the other poolside loungers on towels. Lipa, in this way, makes her first homage to a pop girl—except that she chooses to maximize the location much more than Minogue did. 

    This commences with Muino’s establishing shot of Lipa perched on the network of uniquely structured diving boards amid a sea of muscular men in matching attire (short blue shorts and white tank tops). As the men do various exercise-y poses, Lipa ascends one of the ladders while informing us, “I’ve been known to miss a red flag/I’ve been known to put my lover on a pedestal/In the end, those things just don’t last/And it’s time I take my rose-colored glasses off.” And yet, even if she’s taken them off with regard to her perception of her lover, the city of Barcelona can still be seen through rose-colored glasses even without any on. Drenched in that indelible Spanish sunlight, the cityscape steals the show almost as much as Lipa’s seemingly “Express Yourself”-inspired backup dancers. That’s right, it appears Lipa gives a stylistic nod to Madonna yet again (as she did in the “Houdini” video) with a setup that very much reminds of what M did in her David Fincher-directed masterpiece from 1989. Not to mention the scaffolding-style backdrop of Paula Abdul’s “Cold Hearted,” itself a recent inspiration for Ariana Grande’s “yes, and?” video. The aesthetic relationship between “Express Yourself” (which came out a month before Abdul’s single) isn’t a coincidence, what with Fincher having directed both. 

    Accordingly, each of those videos has plenty of mounting of/gyrating on industrial-looking “rigs” to help highlight the choreo. Of a nature that channels the exuberance Lipa is going for with the record as a whole, stating that she wanted to “capture the essence of youth and freedom and having fun.” The video does achieve that, even if the lyrics are indicative of someone who has been jaded by enough experience with relationships past. In fact, there is even an aura of the “Express Yourself” mantra in Lipa’s coming-of-age tone as she sings the defiant chorus, “Ooh, what you doin’?/Don’t know who you think that you’re confusin’/I be like, ooh, it’s amusin’/You think I’m gonna fall for an illusion.” This leads into her talking about how, at this juncture, she knows exactly what she wants, declaring, “Was a time when that shit might’ve worked/Was a time when I just threw a match and let it burn/Now I’m grown, I know what I deserve/I still like dancin’ with the lessons I already learned.” In other words, “Don’t go for second best, baby/Put your love to the test/You know, you know you’ve got to…” 

    But M isn’t the only pop girl Lipa conjures in “Illusion.” There’s also a clear-cut Britney Spears moment when Muino gives us an overhead shot of Lipa in the pool while lying on a floating circular object as she moves her arms up and down—in clear “Oops!…I Did It Again” fashion. For never was there a more iconic overhead shot of a pop princess lying on a circular ditty and moving her arms around than that. Spears might not have had a slew of synchronized swimmers around her while doing it, but the connection is still there. Plus, Muino is no stranger to orbiting Spears’ world, for she directed 2022’s “Hold Me Closer” (which shares many qualities with “Illusion” in that it wields a city’s—Mexico City’s—backdrop as a key character). Maybe that’s why there’s also echoes of the pool scenes from “Work Bitch,” wherein Britney stands on a circular platform in the center of the water as hammerhead sharks swim around her (this, too, perhaps some unwitting inspo for the Radical Optimism cover). 

    Talking of connections, there’s even one to Miley Cyrus when Lipa is lifted out of the water by the very “O” ring that previously encircled her, giving an immediate flash to the cover of Cyrus’ Endless Summer Vacation album. As the video starts to wrap up, a choreography breakdown in the 00s spirit of what someone like Lindsay Lohan did on the rooftop in the “Rumors” video occurs, with Lipa repeating, “I’d rather dance with the illusion”—than actually invest time in a full-blown, off-the-dancefloor relationship with the real, unvarnished version. Which always turns out to be so disappointing. 

    For one of her big finishes, Lipa mounts a “tower of men” (with some women peppered in between), making her way to the top for another overhead shot where she’s “chillin’ on a circle.” Obviously, it’s a metaphor for how she’s overcome all the necessary emotional obstacles to become secure and confident in knowing exactly what she wants—and what she doesn’t. As for the former, it definitely includes taking dips in Barcelona and repeating the mantra, “Dance all night, dance all night” (not so different from what she said in “Dance the Night”).

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Britney Spears’ Instagram: Maybe “What U See (Is What U Get)”

    Britney Spears’ Instagram: Maybe “What U See (Is What U Get)”

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    In some sense, it’s easier to believe the current conspiracy theories about Britney Spears. After all, it was “conspiracy theories” that led to her being freed from a needless thirteen-year conservatorship. But now that she is free (or “free,” as some people believe), it’s not quite what many were expecting. Complete with almost daily videos that are clearly not recent and captions that are “cryptic” at best. With most everyone (especially fans) wanting to interpret them as having some “arcane” meaning. But what if Britney actually is, in fact, just that simple? Talking incoherent-but-somehow-coherent shit about all the wrongs that have been done to her (of which there have been many) while embracing her “inbred swamp thing” Southern persona more than ever as she continues to say, “Holy shit balls” and flip off the camera. For, just as it was part of the reason for shaving her head in 2007, she wants to be effectively “unloved” by a public and a media that chewed her up and spit her out. In short, she is very firmly rebuffing any image of “America’s sweetheart” that might have ever been projected onto her. Or any attempt for that image to be re-projected now that she “owes” something to those who secured her unshackling.

    This perhaps includes, for those hoping to see warm and fuzzy images of her life now that it’s “unmanaged,” making it as messy and erratic as possible. Besides, it’s true that Britney once said (albeit during a period of far greater innocence in her life), “What you see/Is what you get/This is me, hey you/If you want me, don’t forget/You should take me as I am/‘Cause I can promise you/Baby, what you see is what you get.” Alas, no one can seem to believe that could possibly be true as they watch her jut out her sunburned-to-the-point-of-redness stomach in a midriff and continue to act as though she’s still dancing in the “…Baby One More Time” video—this often includes showcasing an “updated” version of the look via a green-and-blue plaid skirt with a white ruffle-collared shirt tied in a knot that is sure to expose plenty of belly. An outfit she chose to don for a January 21st post in which she performed her usual series of poses for the camera—exhibiting facial expressions that toe the line between awkward and sassy, though mostly the former. As though she can’t learn to deprogram from the idea that she’s constantly having to pose.

    To add to the eeriness of the display, Spears reverted to a commonly-played song in her Insta videos: Beyoncé’s “Haunted.” Those looking for hidden meaning would thusly be spooked by the lyrics she chose to highlight: “It’s what you do/It’s what you see/I know if I’m haunting you, you must be haunting me/It’s where we go/It’s where we’ll be/I know if I’m onto you, I’m onto you/Onto you, you must be onto me.” Such sentiments might spur the question: is she addressing that people, with their conspiracy theories, are “onto” the fact that she’s still not really in control? Least of all of her highly unhinged and consistently inconsistent Instagram account. Those descriptors were proven yet again on January 25th, after Spears went on yet another abstruse rant that many believe was pronounced shade at her husband’s infidelity before, once more, deleting the account.

    It was the expression of rage and its subsequent deletion that evidently prompted people to call the police to perform a “well check” on Spears at her home in Thousand Oaks. A.k.a. the home she was supposed to move out of in favor of a new one with Sam Asghari in Calabasas. But the latter residence is currently being “quietly” shopped around on the market as Spears has decided to return to the same home that should theoretically be filled with unpleasant associations… you know, because it was where she lived for a large bulk of her imprisoning conservatorship. But apparently, we all have a psychological glitch that allows us to find a slight bit of pleasure in the pain of revisiting old wounds.

    Upon the latest deletion of her account, the continued “concern” over Spears’ mental health—a polite way for people to excuse their fascination with watching “trainwrecks” and their drama—had also arisen when she changed her Instagram name from Channel 8 to River Red. Many could also read into that what they will—from making the correlation between Britney’s life and the 1998 movie of the same name about a boy who murders his abusive father to a commitment to never becoming menopausal (Britney has plenty of regressive tactics to stay in touch with the teen girl inside) to wanting the blood of those who wronged her to flow as gushingly as a river (in non-drought conditions). Like, say, Lou Taylor and Robin Greenhill of Tri Star Entertainment (not to be confused with TriStar Pictures).

    But then, such “outrage” over her “nonsensical” meanderings being drawn seems to invoke only giddy delight from Spears, who put up another post from the same day (January 21st) as the would-be neo-“…Baby One More Time” outfit. This one of a “collage” from @boipoppin with the caption, “I love being me. It pisses off all the right people.” That it truly does. In addition to all the wrong ones—like those who would seek to hem her in with a conservatorship (*cough cough* Lou Taylor and Robin Greenhill). And sell the idea to Spears’ father as the puppeteer. Two women who prompted a “red river” of shit on Britney’s Instagram in February of ’22, when she wrote (and later deleted, obviously), “The swanky suited up bitches … SO NICE with their ‘We are here to make you feel SPECIAL’ !!!! I had lunch with Lou Taylor and Robin Greenhill … they said ‘Britney, look at your picture on the wall!’ With a huge black and white framed picture in the hall of their office !!!!! Kate Beckinsale was there too !!!!! They sucked up to me and ‘made me feel special’ … RIGHT …. Ha those same bitches killed me a week later !!!!” Britney went on to say that her father/erstwhile conservator, Jamie Spears, “worshipped” Taylor and Greenhill and “would have done anything they asked of him.”

    Of her tenacity and endurance of such an unfathomable and incongruous situation, Spears asserted, “Nobody else would have lived through what they did to me !!! I lived through all of it and I remember all of it !!!! I will sue the shit out of Tri Star !!!! Psss they got away with all of it and I’m here to warn them every day of my precious life !!!!” Perhaps her warnings have persisted in the unrelenting posts that are drenched with the most enigmatic of shade as Britney dances and twirls or mimics one of the therapists she had to see while forced to be in a treatment facility. All of these freely put up for at least a day or two without Spears appearing to have any concern for how she’s “perceived.” Especially not now that her two narrow-minded sons have forsaken her in favor of the ultimate trashball that is Kevin Federline.

    But after a leaked video of her being “manic” at a restaurant in Thousand Oaks surfaced, Spears couldn’t ignore the ongoing scrutiny about her behavior. Thus, another dancing-in-the-studio post from Spears on January 23rd addressed her hyper-awareness of the public’s examination of her every move on social media—not to mention every (rare) move she makes in public. And yet, it’s an examination she slightly relishes and conjures by continuing to troll everyone with her captions. In this particular dancing video, she played some of her go-to favorite songs (e.g., Rihanna’s “Love on the Brain” and Chris Isaak’s “Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing”) with the “explanation,” “Howdy ho down … tipsy cattle balls !!! I have no idea what that means 🙈 … feeling kooky and silly but can’t act too kooky or silly like kids because they say ‘she’s CRAY CRAY’ … either way I gotta move … so I did !!! Sharing because I matter and if every person I call TAKES 9 RINGS TO ANSWER you can be certain I might get someone’s attention … all that LOVE !!! GOOD GOD RIGHT BACK AT YA !!! I bet after I post this my security answers after 2 RINGS … I be alive coming on my horse !!!” It sounds like a lot of word salad for the most part—at least to those who don’t know how to “look for the clues” and “allusions.” And, with regard to that security reference, it likely refers to Spears being literally policed with a “well check” every time she puts up a “cray cray” video.

    But as she once said in the aforementioned “What U See (Is What U Get),” “You should never try to change me/I can be nobody else/And I like the way I am.” Perhaps if so many people and “handlers” didn’t try to change her over the years, we might have some semblance of the girl we once knew in the era of Oops!…I Did It Again (on which this particular song appears).

    Uncannily enough, on the same track, Spears also sings the lyrics, “I know you watch me when I’m dancin’” and “I can feel your eyes on my back, baby/Uh na na/I can’t have no chains around me, baby can’t you see/I could be anything you dream of, but I gotta feel free.” Which she still clearly doesn’t/can’t because of how much weight is placed on the “strength” of her mental health each time she posts something snarky or silly or outright AI chatbot-sounding. As a “free” woman, however, doesn’t she have the right to? Maybe no one is controlling her—not even Sam. Maybe the harder truth to believe about Britney at this juncture is that what you see really is what you get. Complete with invectives like, “I generously serve you my shit … eat my shit!!! Psss !!! Keep coughing !!!” Whether aimed at Sam or not (as is the current speculation), Britney is right about one thing: “I could sit back and be like MOST and not give anyone anything to think about on Instagram.”

    Yet even when presenting her most blunt and honest thoughts (including, “Giving someone I love my everything only gives me the dagger in the heart !!!”), the majority wants to twist and turn them into something that isn’t rather straightforward. Because again, with Britney, “Baby, what you see is what you get.”

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    Genna Rivieccio

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