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Tag: boundaries

  • Why Saying No Is Key to Being a Highly Effective Leader

    Imagine approving every request that crosses your desk, then discovering you’re booked until 2045. For some good leaders, saying no simply and clearly is just hard. Download a copy of my Saying No guide here. The truth is that saying no when it’s true and necessary is one of the most powerful tools at your disposal. It is the way of love-powered leaders. It will also help you create clarity, get everyone focused, and build trust, all of which make for better results.  

    Are you good at saying no?

    When you rarely say no, you end up overcommitting, spreading yourself and your team thin, and losing sight of what truly matters. You no longer have the time and space to lead effectively. There are two common traps that keep executives from saying no and being as impactful as possible. First is the desire to please. Second is the lack of clear priorities. Consider if these apply to you. 

    Trap 1: A desire to please  

    The Problem: You avoid saying no because you worry about being perceived as uncooperative, rude, or selfish. Your fear of disappointing people or damaging relationships blocks you from setting boundaries. The more you try to please everyone, the more you spread yourself too thin, and your ability to focus on strategic priorities diminishes. 

    The Fix: Recognize the importance of boundaries for both you and those around you. Practice saying no respectfully, starting with low-risk situations. You don’t need to apologize or offer excuses—simply acknowledge the request, explain why you cannot take it on, and offer an alternative, if possible. 

    The Win: By saying no confidently, you can create a culture of truth-telling and respect within your organization. Others will appreciate your honesty, and you’ll foster stronger relationships based on trust and clarity. You’ll also reclaim time and energy for the things that truly align with your mission and vision. 

    Trap 2: Lack of clear priorities 

    The Problem: Without a clear sense of what’s most important, it’s easy to say yes to anything that comes your way. You make reactive decisions instead of strategic ones. This causes overwhelm, confuses your team about what really matters, and lets truly important projects fall through the cracks. 

    The Fix: Define your top priorities, those that align with your vision and long-term strategy. It should be a maximum of three. Use them as your decision-making filter when new requests or opportunities arise. If something doesn’t align with your priorities, say no and protect your time for what really matters. 

    The Win: When you say no to distractions, you make space for focused, high-impact work. You’ll have more energy and time to dedicate to the initiatives that move the needle, and your team will benefit from the clarity that comes with knowing where to focus their efforts. 

    3 powerful to improve your ability to say no 

    • Get clear on your priorities. Spend some time this week defining what truly matters to you and your organization. Ask yourself, “What are the three things I should be focusing on to drive the vision forward?” These become your filter for making decisions about where to spend your time. 
    • Practice saying no. Choose one situation where you’ve been avoiding taking a stand—agreeing to unnecessary meetings, under-delegating, or postponing tough decisions. Practice saying no with clarity and respect, even if it’s uncomfortable. Start small and build up your confidence. 
    • Regularly check your boundaries. Take a moment each week to assess how well you’re maintaining your boundaries. Are you overcommitting again? If so, recalibrate. Set a reminder to check in with your priorities and ask yourself if the new requests align with them. 

    Take your next steps now  

    The good news is that with the right strategies and tools, you can break free of the traps and make saying no a leadership superpower. Right now, identify one area where you’ve been saying yes too often. Make a conscious decision to say no. Reflect on how it feels to set that boundary and notice how it shifts your focus.  

    With every no, you’ll make more room for the right yes, for the things that truly matter. Saying no is empowering, and it’s a choice that leads to greater freedom and fulfillment, helping you become a more focused and impactful leader. 

    The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

    Moshe Engelberg

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  • Setting Boundaries With Others

    Setting Boundaries With Others

    In the simplest sense, a boundary separates one thing from another. A fence is a boundary between two properties; our skin is the boundary between our organs and the outside world. A boundary is the line where one thing ends, and another begins.

    When we set a boundary with another person, we create some sort of separation between us. We might imagine our boundaries as shields that protect us from things that would threaten our well-being, such as others’ rudeness, others’ emotional dumping, unwanted touch, or commitments we don’t have the time and space for. Boundaries enable us to honor our limits—what works for us and what doesn’t—and design our lives and relationships around those limits.

    Ultimately, boundaries are a recognition that we can’t control what others say or do, but we can control how we respond and what we allow into our environment. That’s what boundaries are all about. Although boundaries create separation in the short term, they are actually necessary and healthy in all relationships.

    BOUNDARIES VS. REQUESTS

    When we make requests of others, we ask them to change their behavior.

    But when we set a boundary, we change our own behavior to protect ourselves, our needs, and our limits. As we discussed in the previous chapter, requests are, at their core, collaborative: a successful request requires another person to change their actions. Boundaries, on the other hand, don’t require others’ participation. When we set a boundary, we are assessing what doesn’t work for us and acting accordingly. These examples demonstrate the difference between requests and boundaries.

    As you can see in these examples, our boundaries aren’t about changing other people: they’re about setting clear limits for what we will and will not tolerate from other people. For this reason, boundaries aren’t tools to get more of something from someone. We can’t “boundary” a person into giving us more affection, attention, kindness, or collaboration. We can ask them for more—that’s what requests are all about—but ultimately, boundaries are about separating ourselves from situations that don’t meet our needs, or interactions that make us feel unsafe, unseen, or harmed in some way.

    COMMUNICATING OUR BOUNDARIES

    How we communicate our boundaries depends on our situation. We might use:

    The Short and Sweet Approach

    The short and sweet approach tends to work best when others make requests of us that we can’t or don’t wish to fulfill. Perhaps our sister asks if she can borrow our car; perhaps our date asks if we’d like to go back to their apartment; perhaps a community member asks if we can volunteer at the neighborhood bake sale. In these cases, a clear, straightforward boundary will do:

    • “No.”

    • “No thank you.”

    • “I can’t.”

    • “I don’t have time.”

    • “Not today.”

    • “That’s not going to work for me.”

    “I don’t have time for that right now.”

    • “Now’s not a good time.”

    • “Maybe some other time.”

    The I-Statement Approach

    Like we discussed in the prior chapter, the I-statement is a four-part communication tool that helps us be direct about our feelings and needs:

    “I feel _________________ when you _________________ because_________________. I need _________________.”

    When setting boundaries, the I-statement looks like: “I feel overwhelmed when you try to talk things out moments after an argument because I haven’t had time to process on my own. I need to wait at least an hour to cool down before discussing it with you” or “I feel upset when you discuss my mental health issues with the family because it violates my privacy. I need privacy, so I will keep information about my mental health to myself from now on.”

    The Radical Transparency Approach

    We can also use the radical transparency approach to set boundaries. As a reminder, this approach works best with people you trust: people who care for your well-being and are unlikely to weaponize the vulnerability of this approach against you.

    • “It’s hard for me to say this, but I want to be honest with you: _____________________________________ .”
    • “I know that in the past I’ve ______________________________________, but I’m trying to take better care of myself now, so I can’t continue to ______________________________________ .”
    • “I’m afraid of hurting you, but it’s important to me that we can be honest with each other. I want you to know that I’m no longer able to ______________________________________ .”
    • “I’m nervous to say this, but I’m trying to be more honest with the people I love, so I need to tell you that I can’t ______________________________________ .”

    Radical transparency looks like: “Dad, I’m afraid of hurting you, but it’s important to me that we can be honest with each other. I want you to know that I can’t listen when you vent about Mom anymore. It puts me in the middle and I’m not comfortable playing that role” or “Gloria, I know that in the past I’ve joined you and your friends for the annual retreat, but I’m trying to save money this year, so I can’t make it.”

    The Speaking Up Approach

    Sometimes, we want to speak up as a means of making our own beliefs known. Especially if someone is expressing values or ideals we don’t agree with, speaking up can be a way to both honor our integrity and insert a mental boundary: separation between what they believe and what we believe. Speaking up can look like saying, “I disagree,” “I don’t share your opinion,” “I actually believe that _____,” or “I find what
    you’re saying to be sexist/racist/transphobic.”

    PUTTING BOUNDARIES INTO ACTION

    If we set a boundary that a certain behavior doesn’t work for us, we need to remove ourselves from that behavior when it arises. Otherwise, our boundary is a meaningless statement that offers us no protection. If you set a boundary that you can’t participate in gossip anymore, then enacting it looks like exiting the interaction when someone starts gossiping. If you tell your mom that you can’t take her calls during work hours anymore, enacting that boundary means letting the phone go to voicemail when she calls you during a meeting. If you set a boundary that you won’t continue a conversation when your spouse is yelling, enacting it looks like leaving the conversation when your spouse yells.

    Other people may not like our boundaries or may push back against them—we’ll discuss this soon—but ultimately, because our boundaries are about our own actions, enacting them is always within our control.

    DISENGAGING AS BOUNDARY-SETTING

    When we disengage, we exit an interaction that is harmful to us. By disengaging, we acknowledge that we can’t control others’ actions, but we can control the part we play in our dynamic. Instead of playing tug-of-war, we drop the rope. For the longest time, the idea of disengaging to set boundaries felt strange to me. After all, I was trying to get better at speaking up, and this felt like the opposite of speaking up. I worried that disengaging was the same as avoiding conflict: something I did in my people-pleasing days. However, I quickly learned that disengaging as a form of people-pleasing is very different from disengaging as a form of boundary-setting.

    For years, one of my family members had made judgmental comments about other people’s weight. It bothered me to no end. I’d spent years struggling with my weight, as had many of my loved ones, and I found these comments callous and dehumanizing. I tried so many times to convince them to stop, but it never worked. They thought I was being “too sensitive” and taking things “too seriously.” No matter how much I argued and cajoled, they wouldn’t change.

    These frequent debates took a toll on me. After every single one, I felt frustration and rage, and it took hours for me to feel calm again. Eventually, I realized that I was trying to change someone who wouldn’t change and harming myself in the process. So instead of continuing to speak up, I disengaged. When they made comments about people’s weight, I didn’t reply. I didn’t respond to the text; I ended the phone call; I left the room. I couldn’t control them, but I could control whether I dignified their comments with my participation and my presence.

    Disengaging from a place of people-pleasing is fear-based. When we disengage out of fear, we’re thinking: “I’m afraid to speak up because I want them to like me,” or “I don’t want to rock the boat, so I better stay quiet,” or “I don’t want them to know I have this need because I’m afraid they’ll judge me, so I won’t say anything.”

    Disengaging as a boundary is power-based. When we disengage as a boundary, we’re thinking: “I can’t control how they treat me, but I can control how much negative treatment I choose to endure,” or “I will not spend my valuable time and energy debating this once again,” or “I will not dignify this rude comment with a response.”

    Sometimes, a person’s behavior is so hurtful that our only option is to leave the relationship entirely. Other times, we find that we can maintain a relationship if we disengage from unpleasant interactions, or decrease our degree of intimacy over time. There are six boundary strategies—three short-term strategies and three big-picture strategies—that we can use to disengage in this manner.

    STOP People Pleasing and Find Your Power is now available as hardcover, ebook, and audiobook.

    Hailey Magee

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  • Entrepreneurship Can Be Draining — Try This to Restore the Joy. | Entrepreneur

    Entrepreneurship Can Be Draining — Try This to Restore the Joy. | Entrepreneur


    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    CEOs feel the weight of every decision they ever made — not to mention every dire prediction about their business. It’s important to discern when it’s time to help with the heavy lifting and when you need to take a step back and reflect. Executives can balance the scales using these three key strategies to achieve balance, all the while increasing productivity in their company and for themselves.

    1. Learn when to surrender

    How many times have you tried to solve a problem only to discover a dozen more problems stemming from the first one? Or had a decision you made turn out to do more harm than good? Those are the times when most people push the hardest, determined to gain victory. It’s important to consider the cost when you maintain this relentless attitude. What is being sacrificed? Have you analyzed all the factors and possible breaking points, or are you the type of person who wants to achieve the goal at any price?

    Surrender is an art, but it is a vital tool you can use at any time when you see that applying force in a situation is going to end in collateral damage. I have to press the “surrender button” often. I’m legally blind. I rely on my team members as the eyes, ears, legs and hands of the company. As a result, I use my brain all day — my imagination is on fire anticipating problems, responding to needs, memorizing, making decisions and collaborating. Sometimes the workday is long. But no matter how tempting it is to get everything on your list done, you have to know when to back off.

    A surrender moment might be calling it a day, going to bed early and waking up at 4 a.m. the next morning to read emails or prepare for a meeting. You may find podcasts or audiobooks to decompress with or take 10 minutes to meditate or calm your thoughts with music. These are small, quick moments where you may put off important decisions, meetings or tasks, knowing you will not be giving your best.

    Just when people are demanding that you solve a problem immediately, you are taking five minutes to step back and reflect. Surrendering at the right moment of frustration can often bring a creative solution to the surface of your mind; in fact, giving in to the obstacle instead of trying to force the situation can often save you time.

    Related: Self-Care Isn’t Selfish — It’s Essential for Sustaining High Performance. Here’s How to Avoid Burning Out.

    2. Put yourself in check

    Have you often felt that the push and pull of business has overwhelmed you to exhaustion? Maybe you feel as though you don’t have time to strategize or contemplate your direction because the mere constant on-the-fly decisions and the swirl of problems seem overwhelming. It’s easy to tell yourself you need to change your work-life balance, but many business leaders find this kind of revolution tough to achieve.

    If you are constantly driving and pushing, that is when fatigue can lead to multiple negative outcomes, including a feeling of desperation leading to bad decisions. Not only is this detrimental to your health and well-being, but it can also trigger other negative outcomes for your company. Building in balance and putting yourself in check is vital. It starts with asking hard questions and answering them honestly. Are you lopsided in life? Are you overambitious? Do you need to recharge? How can you best do that? It’s easy to say “no” to spontaneous invitations to let off steam — there’s always more work to be done.

    One way to ensure your work and personal life are balanced is to have an accountability partner. This person should know your strategies for making room for relaxation and quiet as well as a little fun. At the same time, you can begin scheduling commitments aimed at recharging your batteries: Put everything on the calendar, both personal and business, including planned breaks, attending a school play, working out, getting a massage, going for a walk or just dining alone with the phone off in a restaurant you enjoy. You can even schedule a night out with friends, a morning coffee date or a karaoke party. You would then share the schedule with your accountability partner — they should call or text you regularly, asking whether you met your commitment to bring more balance into your life.

    3. Find and set boundaries

    It’s great to know your own boundaries so you can reflect, study and handle yourself in a crisis. However, no matter how your business is set up, you are dealing with other people, too: employees, colleagues and customers. Negotiating with others’ schedules and managing the workflow will require patience. You’ll need to learn when to put your foot on the pedal and when to release.

    Getting to know the strengths and weaknesses of your team members is most important here. What are their peak work hours? Are they morning people, or do they stay up late and work into the night? You’ll need to build in praise, encouragement and even celebration to honor their time, talents and dedication.

    Even if you only employ one or two other people, you’ll need to be aware of personal struggles, triggers, tragic events — like the loss of a family member — or divergent abilities they may be reluctant to reveal to you. Fostering an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding can go a long way toward helping individuals feel comfortable sharing valuable information with you about their lives. You may discover healthy ways to push employees beyond their limitations or fears. On the other hand, you may find that simply being a source of comfort and strength for individual team members is all you can do — and you may have to pull back at times, allowing those who face extreme challenges the time to grieve or heal.

    There are times when a partnership or working relationship has achieved its end. In those times, you’ll have to learn to accept change as part of the cycle of living and be respectful of your own need to let go if a loyal employee or colleague makes a pivot. At those times, you will have the chance to take the high road, wish them well, thank them and leave them with sincere good wishes for their future. At the same time, you can look forward to meeting the next teammate down the road.

    Related: 5 Strategies to Thrive as a Solo Business Owner — Without Burning Out

    Final thoughts

    Learning when to put the pressure on and when to take a step back are equally vital to the success of the team, the original vision of the company and a healthier, happier you. When you build structure into your whole life — surrender, balance and boundaries — you will find the peace you need to navigate all obstacles and restore the joy of being an entrepreneur.



    Nancy Solari

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  • Master the Art of Saying No and Balance Life on Your Terms | Entrepreneur

    Master the Art of Saying No and Balance Life on Your Terms | Entrepreneur

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    In today’s world, there are a host of demands placed on us. Between our bosses, best friends and families, there’s no shortage of people asking us to commit time to various projects, events and activities. In some cases, we’re not only asked but rather told what our top priorities should be. This works just fine when we agree and feel aligned with those requests, but what about when we don’t?

    Failing to prioritize ourselves and our desires can leave us feeling overworked and burnt out. Perhaps more importantly, endlessly saying yes to others robs us of joy and fulfillment. It can prevent us from feeling passionate, empowered and energized. Our families and loved ones often pay the price.

    Today, many mental health experts encourage us to set boundaries with others. That can be a scary prospect, especially for those of us who were brought up to be people pleasers. If you want to set better boundaries with others but not torch your relationships, here are a few things you’ll want to do.

    Related: 5 Expert-Backed Strategies for Setting Boundaries at Work

    1. Figure out what you truly do (and don’t) want to do

    You’ll find it’s nearly impossible to set boundaries with others if you don’t first know what your boundaries even are. Sometimes, setting boundaries means telling others no. This is easier to do when we have a “greater yes” in mind. But that means we must know what our “greater yes” is.

    Anytime you’re asked to do something, consult with yourself before anyone else. Ask yourself: “How do I feel about this? What do I want to do? What do I feel is the best decision?” Once you’ve decided these things, you’re already in a better place to communicate. But just wait until you’re asked. Regularly have these discussions with yourself, even before you get asked.

    Become very aware of how much bandwidth and capacity you actually have during any given season. The more you spend regular time identifying your most important priorities and values, the more strongly you’ll feel about them and the easier it will become to articulate them.

    2. Make an agreement with yourself that it’s okay to disappoint other people

    Before you can have an effective conversation with others about your boundaries, it’s important to accept the possibility that they might be disappointed by what you say. Remember: That’s okay. People don’t have to agree with all your decisions, including those who love you. Someone else disliking your decision doesn’t make it wrong.

    Recognize that others may not respond favorably when you set boundaries. When you say, “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be able to do that this weekend,” others might do a variety of things ranging from asking follow-up questions to becoming upset or angry to attempting to convince you to change your mind. When you plan on these things happening before the conversation, it makes it easier to handle them if and when they occur. Understand that other people’s reactions are often more about them than about you. Those reactions don’t mean you’ve done anything wrong.

    Related: Why Setting Boundaries Is the Secret to Preserving Energy and Focusing on What Matters

    3. Communicate your position respectfully

    Verbally articulating our boundaries with others is an important part of the process. You get the opportunity to share how you feel about something presently happening, and you also get the opportunity to set expectations for the future.

    Perhaps you don’t like the nickname an acquaintance has given you. They think it’s a clever joke, but you find it offensive. Perhaps you are uncomfortable with how close a colleague often sits; you feel it’s an invasion of your personal space. Maybe your friends routinely stay far too late when you invite them into your home or your mother insists on visiting you every Sunday, but you no longer want her to.

    Whatever it is, sharing how you’re feeling about the behaviors, asks or demands of others is important. That’s because, when done well, it can lead to change. This allows the relationship to improve. Oftentimes, we’re afraid to set boundaries with others because of how they will react. We can assuage these fears by remembering that setting boundaries is not about others; it’s about us.

    There’s no need to criticize or attack others. Rather, we can simply share how we’ve been feeling and what we’d like to see change. It’s especially helpful to be specific. Instead of saying, “Mom, I just feel you’re too involved in our lives,” you can say, “Mom, I’d like to have some more time to myself to read, clean and spend time with the kids. You being at our home every Sunday has been tough on me. I’d like to ask that going forward, you only come twice a month instead of every weekend.”

    Related: How to Teach Your Employees to Set Boundaries Instead of Always Being ‘On’

    4. Learn to feel good about it

    I’ve noticed that many of us feel guilt or even shame when we try to set boundaries. These feelings discourage us from doing it. As you contemplate setting boundaries, instead of worrying about everyone else, remember to consider yourself first. It’s less important that everyone else around you is “okay” with it, and more important that you feel good about it. If someone or something is wreaking havoc on your life, you don’t have to simply “put up with it” at the expense of your happiness. It’s an act of bravery to ask (or say) what you want and need, and you should choose to feel good about having the courage to do that.

    Setting boundaries with others can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. In fact, it’s a key part of building a better life. We only get one shot at this life, and every moment matters. When we spend months or years tolerating things that make us uncomfortable, our worlds tend to shrink. Identify what’s most important to you and take these steps to advocate for it. Believe it or not, you’ll often find that doing this leads to better and more honest relationships with those around you, not worse relationships.

    Amy M Chambers

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  • Entrepreneur | Business Owners: It’s Time to Work on Your Business, Not in It

    Entrepreneur | Business Owners: It’s Time to Work on Your Business, Not in It

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    As an entrepreneur, you’re inherently always busy. You’re constantly on the go, whether you’re trying to spark new business or putting out fires for your company. Even when you come home tired from a busy day, you’ll check your emails again and work a little more. Then you get up and do it again the next day.

    Over the years, surveys have shown that business owners put in much more than a 40-hour week — often 50 or 60 hours. And while you may have lots of great ideas to grow your business, it’s likely that you have a lot less time to execute them. While it’s a true labor of love, it often feels like being on a hamster wheel.

    Unfortunately, these are all symptoms of being lost inside your business. It’s something all entrepreneurs feel at one point or another, but it’s a sign to stop getting lost in the day-to-day hustle and work on your business. This feeling can sometimes bring anxiety, worry and even a loss of motivation.

    Dedicating time to working on your business is essential, and it looks different for every entrepreneur. Let’s take a closer look at why working on your business is so important and how to execute this practice.

    Related: To Level Up, You’ll Need to Take a Step Back

    Why it’s essential to work on your business

    It’s up to company leadership — likely you — to set goals, consider the future and find solutions for friction within the business. You’re responsible for the big picture. You will be more genuinely motivated to grow your business than anyone on your team. But if you’re focusing on daily tasks instead of strategizing for future success, the company could suffer in the long run.

    Instead of handling the regular tasks, start delegating them to other team members so you can spend time on projects that lend themselves to the larger picture. Having the ability to trust others to get things done is essential for the longevity of your business.

    If you get burnt out, you won’t be able to lead the company! Although it may take some getting used to, it’s a necessary move to keep your business on the right trajectory.

    Related: Work On–Not In–Your Business

    What working on your business looks like

    Working on your business will look different from completing daily tasks of working with customers, managing employees or updating your website. Instead, you’ll:

    • Walk away from the day-to-day and think about your business. Instead of spending all your time working on project-related tasks, make it a habit to spend time strategizing about your business. Spending 10-20% of your time on business development is recommended. Use this scheduled time to think ahead and start outlining plans for success.
    • Write down goals. What are your goals for the business? If you still need to get short, intermediate and long-term goals on your radar, now is the time to create them. Studies have shown that actually writing down your goals makes you more likely to achieve them. What do you want to accomplish in the next one to five years? From there, break your goals into smaller, more achievable quarterly or monthly goals and set calendar reminders to keep yourself on track. Invite one person you trust to be a sounding board on your goals and hold you accountable to execute them.
    • Consider your role. If you’re used to working on daily tasks, it’s time to re-evaluate your position as a business owner. It’s your job to have the larger picture in mind and work on business moves to bring the company vision to life. How can you make adjustments to focus on the larger goals you set for the business? I had a client that was involved all day-to-day aspects of the company. He was stressed and felt stuck in his position because he didn’t have anyone that he trusted to take on some of his roles. I suggested that he start by giving some of the easier, time-consuming roles to his employees. Once they showed they can perform that, then take more complex roles and give it to them. This process took time, but the outcome was fantastic. Within a year, he had more time, the company was more productive and they had accelerated growth.
    • Document and delegate. Write down all the tasks each person at your company needs to do to be successful. Review these tasks regularly with each employee to make sure they are on the same page. They, like you, want to be on a winning team and would have significant input on how to succeed. These will be your most important meetings of the year. Leave room for flexibility for as the company grows, roles can change and communication is the key to continuous development.
    • Hold yourself accountable. Making changes is difficult for everyone, even entrepreneurs. It’s helpful to have people and plans in place to hold you accountable. Revisit your goals and make plans to check in with yourself regularly, such as setting calendar goals. Meet with other company leaders about their goals. Are you on track to reaching your goals? If not, what can you do to get there? If necessary, consider hiring a business coach to help hold yourself accountable.

    Related: Lessons From Famous Founders: When It’s Time To Take a Step Back

    As a business owner, it’s not easy to keep your hands off what’s happening with the company every day. After all, you’re the one who cares the most about the success of the business. But in the long run, dedicating time to working on your business — instead of in it — will lead you to a more fulfilling, profitable and enjoyable business and life.

    Mark Kravietz

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  • Entrepreneur | Here’s Why Learning to Say No Can Skyrocket Your Business

    Entrepreneur | Here’s Why Learning to Say No Can Skyrocket Your Business

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Many business owners may find it counter-intuitive to believe that saying “no” could lead to business growth. However, it can be one of the most important strategies for achieving success and long-term sustainability. By being selective in what tasks and projects are taken on, companies can free up valuable resources to focus on the most important opportunities and create an environment of success that most definitely led to business growth.

    1. Say no to unnecessary expenses

    In today’s competitive marketplace, cutting costs is essential for companies to survive or achieve business growth. Saying “no” can be a powerful tool in helping businesses reach their goals while saving money and having a better cash flow. When it comes to lower-cost operations, learning how and when to say “no” may be one of the most important lessons a successful business chief must master.

    Cutting back on expenses can drastically reduce overhead and increase profitability, but making this change means investing time into analyzing which costs are truly necessary for long-term sustainability versus those that are no longer required or affordable in the current climate. For example, having the courage to say “no” to your suppliers might lead to improved cash flow, decreased debt, and financial freedom over time. And as business owners, you’ll have to learn how to do it sooner or later so you better start right away.

    Related: How to Set Boundaries as an Entrepreneur

    2. Say no to job candidates who don’t fit your business — even during a talent shortage

    Poor staffing decisions have a major impact on the success of any business. Low-quality employees can cause decreased productivity, and when it comes to running a business, time is money. Therefore, it’s essential to make sure you hire the right people who are capable of delivering quality results in an efficient manner. By saying “no” to inadequate staffing decisions, you can ensure that your team is equipped with individuals who understand their roles and possess the necessary skill set to get the job done right. Properly staffed teams help improve performance and quality of work output while reducing costs associated with employee training or mistakes due to inexperience. In addition, having staff members with good morale helps create a positive work environment which further boosts productivity levels and contributes positively towards growing your business.

    Many entrepreneurs and company owners tend not to give proper attention to the importance of employees in their company. Still, many studies in recent years show that employees who are satisfied and engaged at work are employees who, in practice, bring higher productivity and higher income to their company and take an active part in the company’s growth. There is no magic formula for finding such employees, but one thing is certain: We must give great importance to recruiting personnel in our company.

    Our employees must be suitable and have the right skill set for the job they were hired for. It’s a win-win situation; the employees are satisfied at work, feel appreciated and valued, have a positive impact and are more involved in the processes. When this happens, you can expect an increase in productivity and income. Several years ago, a study examining companies with a low percentage of employee engagement versus a high percentage showed that high employee engagement in companies resulted in a 10% increase in customer positive ratings, a 22% increase in profitability and a 21% increase in work productivity. With such data, it is not worth arguing. Learn to say “no” to mediocre personnel, bring in employees with appropriate skills and give them the right conditions for growth. Their success = your success.

    3. Say no to (some) tempting business deals

    Knowing when to say “no” is an essential skill for any business owner. Refusing the wrong opportunities or deals can spell trouble, but so can saying “yes” to the wrong ones. Learning to keep sharks at bay, literally and figuratively, is always a good idea. Sharks in the water are a danger but don’t be fooled by sharks on land who want to buy out your company or offer you a bad deal; pay attention to them as well.

    Remember, sometimes the best deal is to remain independent and make your own decisions on the direction of the business rather than rely on advice from those you do not know or can’t be 100% trusted. Your fear is natural — we all have a fear of change in a way — but it doesn’t make it a good enough reason to say “yes” to the first competitor or investor trying to get you out of the game. Saying “no” and refusing such a serious offer should be carefully considered, but under the right conditions, the refusal may lead to greater business growth; now that you know people are interested in your activity, it may be a huge motivational shot for you and your entire staff down the road. In addition, the refusal may signal to potential buyers and other sharks that you value your company and operation at a higher value.

    Related: Why Setting Boundaries Is the Secret to Preserving Energy and Focusing on What Matters

    Take, for example, the navigation app Waze; the company received low bids early on and thought it was worth more. Later, very good offers came; according to the reports on various news sites, Apple offered about $500 million to buy Waze. What was Waze’s answer? You guessed right — the answer was “no.” Then Facebook made a very generous purchase offer of $1 billion. Waze company bravely said “no” once again. Then few offers were bid by Google, and the last one reportedly ranged between $1.1-$1.3 billion. This time Waze took the offer with both hands and achieved a very impressive high-tech exit. I can’t guarantee that the Waze example will work in most cases, but it’s a real example of why you must know when to say “no” even when the temptation is overwhelming.

    Saying “no” helps open up growth opportunities, and learning when to say no is a powerful tool that can help unlock potential for growth within the organization. The ability of a business owner or team leader to recognize their capacity is essential in order to turn down certain tasks and projects that may take away from the main objectives of their business, creating a more productive environment and happier employees, etc. A clever entrepreneur will know when it’s time to balance between saying “yes” and flowing with the river to taking risks and taking advantage of opportunities they can handle and convert into a business growth opportunity.

    Barak Jacques

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  • 10 Strategies for Surviving Christmas Season With Family

    10 Strategies for Surviving Christmas Season With Family

    Note: I am writing this article from my perspective of the holiday season, which is very Christmas-centric. Having said that, I believe that at least some of these hints can be applied to other holiday celebrations.

    The holidays are promoted, to an almost obnoxious level, as being a time of great joy and merriment. Families come around, delicious food is eaten, presents are exchanged, and a wonderful time is had by all.

    In theory.

    In actuality, the reality is not so clear-cut. For many of us, the holiday season is one of the most stressful times of the year, for any number of reasons. Some of us have tense relationships with people we are obliged to spend time with during the holidays. Others dislike the way the holiday season deviates from our normal schedules. Still others associate the holidays with negative emotions and/or experiences.

    I enjoy the holidays myself, but I would be lying if I said there haven’t been times when I’ve been anxious or stressed out despite all the festive cheer around me. To help me get through those difficult moments, I use the following ten tactics I’ve picked up over the years. It’s my hope that this advice will prove useful for you, too!

    1. Go Through Your Gifts

    If your holiday celebrations involve giving and receiving gifts, you may find yourself with a collection of presents waiting to be given closer attention. And if you feel anxious, stressed, or sad at any point, you may find it therapeutic to sit down and give that collection of presents the attention it needs.

    Perhaps you received a puzzle or game you want to try out. Maybe you got art supplies or something sports-related that you could test. Or you might have received gifts that you can spend time organising, putting away, or displaying. Spending time with your new possessions can be a useful way to step away, take a breath, and appreciate what you have been given.

    2. Prepare Drinks/Snacks

    This is a particularly useful tactic when the need arises to step out, perhaps because the room has become too crowded or noisy, or the topic of conversation is upsetting to you.

    Should you need to leave, ask if anybody needs a drink or snack refill. If you’re worried about looking rude or suspicious, the promise of bringing back nourishment for others could help assuage that worry. Also, the physical act of preparing drinks or snacks could help relieve some of the stress and anxiety you might be feeling.

    More Radical Reads: Have a Strategy: 6 Steps to Ease Social Anxiety This Holiday Season

    3. Have a Book, Game, or Craft Project Handy

    I often had to go to big Christmas celebrations with masses of people when I was a child. I would frequently want to remain in the same space as the people I was with, but also not want to engage in conversation. If the other people weren’t bothered by this, I found that having a book or video game with me made that possible.

    If the other people wanted me to at least appear as though I was a part of the conversation, I found that having a craft project with me (a cross-stitch or a work of crochet, for example) enabled me to look like I was involved without being fully involved. The best activity to have handy depends entirely on the situation. But the idea is to have a way to “leave” the space, all without physically leaving the space.

    4. Establish Banned Topics of Conversation

    Some of us dread the holiday season because of the possibility for certain topics of conversation — topics that upset us greatly — to be brought up. These topics could be anything, but some of the more common ones I have come across include dieting and weight loss, religion, federal politics, and problematic acquaintances.

    If there are conversation topics you don’t want discussed while you’re around, I would highly recommend requesting that those topics be banned ahead of time. Alternatively, if you don’t feel confident requesting the ban yourself, you could recruit somebody you trust to request it for you.

    I realise this may sound like a drastic measure to some, and it might be impossible for others, but if you’re able to do it, it could save you a lot of unnecessary distress.

    5. Tell Your Family and Friends How You’re Feeling

    If you’re lucky enough to spend your holidays with people you trust with your emotions, being honest and telling them how you’re feeling might be hugely beneficial. Explain that you’re not feeling well, explain why (if you can), and let them know if there’s anything they can do. Sometimes the simple act of talking about our feelings is enough to relieve them. If the feelings are still there, at least now other people know and might be able to help.

    Unfortunately, many people do not get to spend their holidays with people they trust. If that is the case, the next tactic might be more useful.

    6. Have a Friend on Contactable Standby

    Some of us are obligated to spend our holidays in places, or with people, that cause us distress. If that sounds like you, one thing you might find helpful is to have somebody you trust whom you can contact. You may only be able to contact them by text, or by a daily phone call, but as long as there’s some sort of connection between the two of you, this tactic should work.

    The idea is that you keep connected to somebody you trust, somebody who represents safety, while you are away. This will hopefully relieve some of your holiday stress.

    7. Spend Time with a Trustworthy Person

    I have anxiety troubles myself, and my anxiety can come forward at random moments during the holiday season. When that happens, I like to ask my brother to play a board game with me. Why do I ask my brother? Because he is a fun person to be around, he cheers me up, and I know he won’t do or say anything that will make me more anxious. Board games happen to be an activity that my brother and I enjoy doing together, but any sort of joint activity with a trustworthy person will achieve the same result.

    More Radical Reads: Surviving the Holidays with Sensory Processing Disorder

    8. Have a Nap

    Sometimes everything about the holidays is too much, and the best solution is to take a break from them for a short period of time. If you are the sort of person who falls asleep easily, then a nap is probably the best, safest, and healthiest way to take that break. Napping also has the benefit of refreshing the body and mind, so the holiday season may be easier to handle once you wake up.

    9. Go for a Walk

    Following the point above, you might need to take a break from the holidays but not be able to easily fall asleep. If that is the case, walking is another alternative. The act of putting on shoes, going outside, breathing in the fresh air and pounding the pavement offers a brief change of perspective that you might find beneficial. Additionally, the feeling of your body moving, and the fresher air getting into your lungs, could help to work out some of your holiday stress.  

    10. Stick to Your Routine as Much as Possible

    Many people find comfort and stability in our routines. The holiday season tends to force us to deviate from our routines, which can be destabilising and, consequently, stressful. If you are somebody who functions better with routine, the holiday season might be less stressful if you stick to your routine as well as you can.

    Try to do things like wake up at your normal time, do your regular exercise, eat your standard breakfast (as opposed to fancy “holiday” breakfasts), make your bed, check your email, and so on. You might find that you only need to do a few specific things to feel like you’re sticking to your routine, or you might find that you need to follow your routine to the maximum. Whatever it takes, if you can achieve that same sense of stability your routine usually provides, that should reduce your stress levels.

    The holidays are a challenging time for a lot of us. But if you have some strategies in place to help you see them through, they hopefully will not be as challenging as they otherwise could be. As always, the most important thing is that you take care of yourself.

    Happy holidays, everybody.

    [Featured Image: A photo of a white person with long blond hair and a white long-sleeved top standing inside a kitchen. They are looking to the left with an uncomfortable expression as they hold a knife and a piece of food. Behind them is a nighttime scene of what appears to be snow outside the kitchen window. Source: Win_Photography]

    TBINAA is an independent, queer, Black woman run digital media and education organization promoting radical self love as the foundation for a more just, equitable and compassionate world. If you believe in our mission, please contribute to this necessary work at PRESSPATRON.com/TBINAA 

    We can’t do this work without you!

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    Gillian Brown

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