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  • 8 Keys to a Happy, Healthy Marriage

    8 Keys to a Happy, Healthy Marriage

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    All weddings are happy. It’s living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

    Mrs. Billy Graham was asked, “Have you ever considered divorce?” “No,” she responded. “Murder many times but never divorce!”

    It sometimes feels like my marriage is this tiny outpost in the middle of enemy territory, and the enemy is shooting at us from every side! This world is not the friend of marriage. The good news is that God is the friend of marriage. Marriage is God’s plan, his idea, and his design.

    I know you are just like me. You want a great marriage, but you may feel that your marriage has endured too much pain and that there is no hope of improvement. But, no matter where you are or where you have been in your marriage, the rest of your marriage can be the best part of it.

    Dan and I have been married for 46 years. Our marriage is stronger and better than it has ever been. Let me share some of the keys to a healthy marriage God has taught us along the way.

    Key one: When the going gets tough, the tough stay right where they are!

    Ephesians 5:31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

    An essential key to a successful marriage is commitment. The Spanish explorer Cortes knew what commitment was. He insisted on it from his men when they landed in Mexico to invade the land of the Aztecs. Sensing the crew’s fear and hesitation, he gathered them all onshore and set fire to the ships. Cortez turned to his men and said, “Now, there can be no turning back.”

    That is the kind of commitment we need in our marriages. But unfortunately, we live in a world of “throw-away” marriages. If it doesn’t work, we throw the relationship away and find another, but Jesus is big on commitment. Jesus told a parable about a man who found a valuable pearl in a field. The man immediately sold everything he had to buy the field so the pearl would be his. Of course, he would be left with nothing if the pearl was worthless. But he was willing to take the risk.

    For marriage to be what God designed it to be, we must choose to be committed to our mate and our marriage. Commitment is not based on feelings. Feelings cannot build a solid marriage. Love is not the basis for marriage. Marriage is the basis for love.

    Hold on to your commitment to God. Hold on to your commitment to your marriage.

    Key two: Accept your mate and change yourself.

    Colossians 3:13-14 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

    The marriage relationship has a specific dynamic. If one person in the relationship changes, the whole relationship changes. We keep trying to make sure that our mate is the one that changes.

    I approached marriage and my new husband like buying an old house. I couldn’t wait to see it remodeled. Wasn’t Dan fortunate to have married the Holy Spirit? I tried to change him. I just wanted Dan to be more like me! I learned that we can be different without being right or wrong!

    We need to celebrate our differences. Differences can either rip us apart or add great flavor to a relationship. Unfortunately, the things we try so hard to change are the very things that attract us to our mates in the first place.

    He used to be carefree. Now he is irresponsible.

    He used to be determined. Now he is stubborn.

    He used to be more concerned about inward qualities than outward appearances. Now he is sloppy.

    Acceptance and approval are two different things. What would happen if you unconditionally accepted your mate? What would happen if we took the energy we wasted trying to change him and used it to change our lives?

    Accept your mate. Ask the Lord what needs to be changed in your own life.

    Key three: Spend time alone with your spouse.

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Image Source

    Amos 3:3 “Can two walk together except they be agreed?”

    Weeds spring up overnight, but it takes years for a mighty oak to grow. So likewise, a great marriage takes a lot of hard work and time. We have three choices about time. We can waste it, spend it, or invest it. Busyness builds a schedule but destroys the family. A crazy life schedule has always been a battle for Dan and me.

    When our children were young, we saw our marriage and children being swallowed up in a hectic schedule. We were doing wonderful things. But, unfortunately, they just weren’t the best things. So we made an important decision. We would give ourselves one year to make drastic changes or leave the ministry. We chose not to sacrifice our marriage or our children on the altar of a ministry or church.

    We began taking a day off each week. Monday is my day with Dan. We sometimes go shopping or out for lunch, where we talk – setting goals, planning, dreaming, and examining our marriage to ensure we are on solid ground.

    We began scheduling time away. Every two or three months, we make a plan to get away – alone. Then, when the pressure is off, we are different! It is one way to keep the romance alive in our marriage!

    We began setting aside time at the end of the day to talk. This time became an essential part of our daily schedule. We talked about the day and shared whatever was on our minds, creating a connection time. Doing so kept us on the same page and was a strong statement to each other and our children about the importance of our marriage.

    We learned to be part of each other’s world. I began reading the books that interested Dan. I went with him to conferences. I began to study Dan – his needs and interests, frustrations and dreams, fears and hopes. I know. We often say we don’t have the time or money, but we are saying that it is not important enough to learn how to be part of our mate’s world. But, if it is important, we will find a way to do it.

    We all exchange our lives for something. But we need to make sure that the exchange is worth it!

    Key four: Guard your mind.

    Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.”

    Don’t allow anything or anyone into your life that will undermine your marriage.

    -movies

    -soap operas

    -romance novels

    -discontented friends

    When we invite these things into our life, we are setting our marriage up for failure. In the early years of our marriage, I was addicted to soap operas. I told the woman on television to leave her rotten husband and run off with the handsome man. Needs improvement!

    For the sake of our marriage, we must guard our minds.

    Key five: Learn to fight fair.

    Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what helps build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

    Wow! That’s a tall order, isn’t it? But God never asks us to do anything that he will not empower us to do. For much of our marriage, I have tended to shove my anger down until some final straw makes me both hysterical and historical. Not anymore. Here are some tips that have helped me learn to fight fair.

    -Pray. Bathe your conversation in prayer and ask God to give you the right words to say

     when you need to have a challenging conversation with your mate.

    -Pick a time and place that is good for him. That means picking a time and place to give your conversation the best chance of succeeding.

    -Begin and end with affirmation.

    -Be willing to accept blame.

    -Express hurt – not hostility.

    -Stick to the subject at hand. Don’t drag up every hurt from the past that you have buried.

    -Avoid using the words “never” and “always.”

    -Be solution centered.

    -Understand that restoration – not winning – is the goal.

    -Get outside help if you need it. That may be a mature Christian couple or a professional.

    A marriage is only as good as the communication between husband and wife – especially when fighting fair.

    Related: Learn to Fight Fair in Marriage

    Key six: Discover your mate’s language of love!

    Happy couple in kitchen

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/YakobchukOlena

    Isaiah 35:3-4 “Encourage the exhausted, strengthen the weak, say to those with an anxious heart ‘Take courage, fear not!’”

    Every husband and wife has different ways of giving and receiving love.

    Touch

    Verbal

    Service

    Gifts

    Time

    My dad died when I was four years old. My mom showed her love for me by serving. So I grew up believing love is demonstrated by cleaning the house, buying groceries, doing the laundry, or cooking meals.

    Doing these things for Dan showed him that I loved him – right? The only problem was that I needed to use the correct language. His language is touching and telling.

    But since I had been molested as a child, I had trouble with communication and intimacy. So we had problems. When Dan hugged me and told me he loved me, I always thought he wanted sex. If he really loved me, he would clean the garage.

    It is like going to a foreign land and insisting that the people there speak my language. It won’t work.

    Learn your husband’s language of love and become fluent in it!

    Key seven: Become your partner’s strongest fan.

    Hebrews 3:13 “Encourage one another daily.”

    Every man should be able to trust his wife and what she says about him, and every wife should be able to trust what her husband says about her.

    We should count on each other to be a cheerleader!

    Don’t criticize your mate to your friends or family members. You will get to the place of forgiveness, but your family and friends may not. And don’t criticize your mate to your children. I know that is hard. But it is right.

    Make a list of your mate’s good points and then broadcast them!

    Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord. Keep watch over the door of my lips.”

    I once read, “Dear Lord, help me to bridle my tongue so that on judgment day, I will not be guilty of assault with a deadly weapon!”

    Don’t be a dream-buster. Be a dream-sharer. Ladies, if your husband is leading you in what you feel is the wrong direction, your choices are:

    -To leave him.

    -To stay and make life miserable for everyone.

    -To say to him,” I am committed to you. I disagree with you, but I am with you!”

    Then turn your dream and him over to God, who can bring the two together in a fantastic way.

    Key eight: Laugh a lot.

    Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

    We must not get so serious about life that we lose our joy. We must always remember what it means to laugh, play, and feel like a child again.

    The best marriages take a lot of work, but we need to balance that work with fun. The more challenging the marriage, the more important it is to have fun. Laughter brings healing. Humor can be a bridge over frustrating circumstances.

    God wants our homes to be living illustrations of him! God wants marriage to demonstrate His love.

    What choice or commitment do you need to make in your marriage? He stands ready to empower that commitment. God wants your marriage to succeed, and he wants you to find joy in your marriage. So make that commitment today, and then trust him to do it.

    Related Resource: Check Out Our FREE Marriage Podcast!

    Listen to our new, podcast on marriage: Team Us. The best marriages have a teamwork mentality. Find practical, realistic ideas for strengthening your marriage. Listen to an episode here, and then head over to LifeAudio.com to check out all of our episodes:

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/XiXinXing

    Mary Southerland is also the Co-founder of Girlfriends in God, a conference and devotion ministry for women. Mary’s books include, Hope in the Midst of Depression, Sandpaper People, Escaping the Stress Trap, Experiencing God’s Power in Your Ministry, 10-Day Trust Adventure, You Make Me So Angry, How to Study the Bible, Fit for Life, Joy for the Journey, and Life Is So Daily. Mary relishes her ministry as a wife, a mother to their two children, Jered and Danna, and Mimi to her six grandchildren – Jaydan, Lelia, Justus, Hudson, Mo, and Nori.



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    Mary Southerland

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  • What Does Paul Have to Say about Singleness in the New Testament?

    What Does Paul Have to Say about Singleness in the New Testament?

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    If you have read the New Testament, you are probably familiar with one of its major contributors, an Apostle named Paul. He was highly educated, knew many languages and cultures, and forged his way to the heights of the religious society of his day. Then the Lord stopped him in the middle of the road and changed his life completely. The Lord raised Paul up as a leader in the early Church and, through the Holy Spirit, gave him wisdom beyond his years, his education, and even his personal experience. God used Paul to speak about many things to many different audiences.

    Throughout the New Testament books that Paul wrote, he spends a lot of time addressing the relationships that fill our life. In some relationships, he had first-hand experience with which to give advice or caution, while in others, he relied on practical, God-given principles as he taught within the communities he was sent to reach.

    Singleness was a topic with which he was intimately acquainted, as there are no indications anywhere in Scripture that he ever married. As we look at 1 Corinthians 7, we get a front-row seat as he speaks passionately about the single life and makes statements that still seem surprising hundreds of years after they were inspired and written.

    After an introduction to the principles of marriage in I Corinthians 7, Paul makes his first “surprising” statement about singleness in verse 7: “I wish that all were as I myself am” (ESV). He repeats himself in verse 8 and expands his scope to include those who are single again after being widowed. “It is good for them to remain single.” From the context of the writing, we learn two things about this statement. First, he is not writing this as a command from God that ALL remain unmarried as he is, but simply observing that if it were possible, then life would be less complicated in many ways. Secondly, we see that he is declaring the single life as a gift God gave in the same way as marriage.

    Paul picks up again toward the end of the chapter and makes his second “surprising” statement in verse 38: “So then he who marries his betrothed does well, but he who refrains from marriage will do even better.” In the verses just before, Paul spends time explaining precisely what he does and does not mean when he says this. Again, he reminds us that he is in no way saying no one should get married, nor is he advocating that anyone who is married already should leave that marriage. He reminds us all, married and single that living the life God has called us to is always the best life. Here, he spends some time explaining WHY he believes the single life is “even better” …it affords the opportunity for an undivided devotion to living a life on mission and pleasing the Lord.

    When you read the passage as a whole, Paul seems to be writing about the goodness of the single life and then doubling back to make sure no one misunderstands him to say that marriage is in any way an inferior status. Still, much of the time when this passage is taught in our churches today, this theme does not seem to shine through. Usually, about as much time is given to expound on the “betterness” of the single life as the verses about bondservants. Is this ignored or added as merely a footnote on purpose? I don’t think so, but it needs to start becoming part of a more extensive conversation moving forward for both single and married believers.

    If you are like me, and singleness has become more of a significant theme in your life than you ever imagined, then you have probably read these verses many times and thought to yourself (or maybe even dared to say out loud), ” Okay, Paul, I hear you but what does this really mean?”.

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Jonathan Erasmus

    1. It reminds us that we are made for more than NOW. We are human; we are born with the limitations that come with being finite beings. Our human needs sometimes scream so loudly that if we are not careful, they can drown out the voice of the eternal spirit living inside us. Paul is seeking to remind us that what we see around us now is not what we should be living for or looking to fulfill us. If you are married and have children, the needs and the loudness of NOW can become exponentially more, and finding the time to focus on the eternal takes more effort. It is simple math.

    While being single is not a guarantee that one will live a more wholly devoted life for God, I believe it does come with a call to strive to do so. Jesus Himself modeled the single, focused, missional life. Are we living our single life on purpose? Or are we merely enduring the days until God may change our marital status? Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians should challenge us to embrace this life God has called us to, whether we are single for the rest of our life or just this current season.

    2. It is a call to the Church to embrace and even affirm singleness the same way God does. If we could look through Paul’s eyes, I believe we would see a vision for the Church today regarding singleness that looks very different than the present reality. I believe he envisioned a place where “Singles Ministry” was at the heart of the Church. A place leaders flow out of to minister to the whole body rather than an endless “purgatory” for the unmarried that follows youth and college ministry.

    Unfortunately, in many of our churches, it is assumed that marriage is a gift God wants to bring to everyone, and the fulfilling, purpose-driven call of singleness is not taught until much later in life and to a much smaller audience. Leaders, teachers, missionaries, and single counselors are often encouraged to find a spouse to enhance their ministry or broaden the scope of their giftings. If this is also God’s calling on their life, then they should do so, but as Paul has admonished, if this is not, then they should be encouraged to “remain as they are.”

    What if, instead, churches could find a way to teach about the devoted single life with the same excitement and purpose they teach about the importance of marriage and families?

    If you are single today, then please know that singleness is many things, but an “inferior state to be avoided at all costs” is not one of them. Living life as a party of one has its challenges, and sometimes it is easy to crave the noise of now rather than work to see the gift buried deep down under the surface. I pray that these surprising words from Paul will sink in and take root as you strive to live your life with a more focused purpose on what God is calling you to. I pray God will quiet the noise of unmet expectations and raise a community around you to encourage and challenge you in the year ahead.

    If you are a church leader, I pray God gives you the courage to encourage singleness with the same passion as the Apostle Paul. I pray you will seek ways to raise up single leaders within your fellowship and that God would bless your whole community through this effort.

    If you are a parent, please know that your son or daughter may do everything in their power to find a spouse and have their own family, but there is a very real possibility that God may call them to live through extended periods of singleness as an adult. My prayer is that you won’t fear this for your child but will raise them to know the gift it can be. I pray you will invite single people to be a part of your life and community and that God will bring them Godly examples to follow.

    Singleness can be a gift both to the single person and those in community with them.

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/PIKSEL

    Stephanie M. Kozick has lived and worked in Europe since 2008. She spent her first nine years abroad working with various ministries in Dublin, Ireland. For the past five years, she has served outside Athens, Greece with both ministry to nationals and the refugee population. Currently, she enjoys teaching English, connecting internationals with ministry opportunities, and learning to cook foods inspired by all the people groups who cross her path!



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    Stephanie M. Kozick

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  • Can Christians Attend a Same-Sex Couple’s Baby Shower?

    Can Christians Attend a Same-Sex Couple’s Baby Shower?

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    As same-sex marriage has become more prolific and socially acceptable, there is a growing number of same-sex parents. Personally, I’ve interacted with same-sex foster parents who also attend the same church as I do. My son’s friend on his soccer team has two very kind moms. I have neighbors who are same-sex parents to children in my community. We can no longer assume that just because a child is involved, both a man and a woman are in the picture when it comes to parenting. 

    As our society continues changing the rules around what constitutes a family, we must carefully consider how we should respond as believers. We know that God’s Word clearly states that God’s best for marriage and family is for one man and woman to come together. Yet, hard black-and-white lines don’t work when talking about people you love. Additionally, their child has no say in the family they are brought into, and surely they need all the love they can get as everyone needs a strong village in order to parent well. 

    How do we hold onto the truth of God’s Word while also being agents of God’s light and love? 

    It’s not easy, that’s for sure! 

    The Church Is Struggling 

    Right now, the Church is struggling along with many believers with how to navigate the great changes we see in our culture when it comes to sexuality, gender identity, marriage, and more! So much of the Church has swung to one extreme or the next on this issue. We are witnessing a large part of the Church making a choice to let go of a historically consistent view of Christian marriage and begin to believe in a boundaryless love. 

    This goes against all that God teaches in the Bible. God’s love is full of boundaries. Obedience is a part of the Christian life because we are broken creatures following a holy God. We need his guidance in order to live our best lives. God gives clear guidance on a myriad of issues, not just sexuality, because God is personally invested in our well-being. Him loving us looks like him gently leading us towards his truth, righteousness, and holiness. 

    Other parts of the church have embraced harsh and hurtful language around this issue. Their lack of understanding and compassion has left many who struggle with same-sex attraction or their gender identity hurt and alone. They forget that God has and can use all manner of broken and sinful people. He is the ultimate judge of our souls, not us! We can trust God to lead his people to repentance and freedom in his own time and way.

    Wisdom Is Needed in Every Situation 

    As a culture and as the Church, we’ve lost the ability to see the nuances of how God loves each of us, even though none of us can live up to the full standard of his holiness. Our tendency in today’s ‘cancel culture’ is to draw battle lines around things that appear wrong or we don’t understand. 

    Jesus shows us a radical alternative way of navigating our sin. 

    He asks who is sinless among us. Only they have the ability to justly throw stones! (John 8:7-11) Then Jesus, the only one with the right to judge us, goes to the person stuck in sin and gives them the chance to follow him. They have the chance to leave their life of sin and pain!

    It’s our job to be Jesus to our lost friends. To encourage those who know God but continue to struggle with sin. We need to remain faithful to the standards God gives us for living in the Bible. We must also ask God to help show us how to love well. When sin exists, wisdom is necessary in each and every situation. We need God to show us how to walk alongside others that we love prayerfully, sharing truth with them in a loving way. Thankfully, James 1:5 tells us that anytime we need wisdom, God gives it. 

    There are a few things we can consider as we seek wisdom on how to approach this kind of situation: 

    -If the couple are unbelievers, they are not held to the same standard of the Bible, so extra grace should be dispensed. 

    -Will declining to attend harm the relationship with this family? 

    -Will this declining detract from your ability to show them God’s love? 

    -Is there another way to show the child-to-be love without participating in the baby shower? 

    -What is God saying to you about this situation and how to navigate it well? 

    -Does this couple have enough of a relationship with you to know that you believe in a historically consistent biblical view of marriage and sexuality? Will attending communicate that you have abdicated your convictions or show them that you can love them this way because Jesus always loves them? 

    Thinking through these factors can help you to determine how to balance grace and truth in this situation. Sadly, there is no one-fits-all answer to these questions. We need God’s leading Spirit to help us know what he is calling us to do in our relationships. 

    Baby Showers Differ From Weddings 

    A baby shower is different from a wedding in that every child is a gift from God. This sort of celebration is designed to joyfully support the arrival of a new person whom God has a special plan for. While we may understand that same-sex relationships are not God’s best, we are called to nurture and love every child. Even if we do not feel called to participate in the baby shower, we should find a way to love this family and their child. 

    When the couple that fosters in my community had their first placement, I brought them bags of things to help them care for their kids. I delivered a gift card for dinner and wrote notes of encouragement for them and the children in their care. This wasn’t a baby shower, but it was a way to say you are not alone in this job of loving a child. Caring for kids is hard work, no matter what your family looks like. When we don’t walk alongside other families, kids are the ones who suffer the consequences.

    Related:

    8 Things You Should Know about Gay Marriage

    Should You Attend a Gay Wedding?

    How Should I Respond to My Homosexual Friends and Family?

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Anchily

    Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is to encourage others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for My Daily Bible Verse Devotional and Podcast, Crosswalk Couples Devotional, the Daily Devotional App, she has work published with Her View from Home, on the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com. She has most recently published a devotional, Comfort: A 30 Day Devotional Exploring God’s Heart of Love for Mommas. You can find out more about Amanda on her Facebook Page or follow her on Instagram.



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    Amanda Idleman

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  • Why Doesn’t God Want Couples Living Together Before Marriage?

    Why Doesn’t God Want Couples Living Together Before Marriage?

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    In today’s world, there seem to be so many rules about love, dating, and marriage. Who to date. How to date. What to do to get engaged. How to stay married. With so many varying opinions about how our love lives should be, it can be difficult to decipher what to do or how to navigate successfully through relationships. For a Christian, one would think it is easy to maneuver through these rules because our guidance for living is the Bible. However, many Christians often struggle with how to live in an upright manner that pleases God. There are questions many desire to ask, and sometimes, their interpretation of Scripture can be misunderstood or taught from an opinion that seems biblically based. 

    Espoused or dating couples face many challenges and must make several decisions that can affect their relationship and challenge their morals. Where do they go for dates, what are their thoughts on premarital sex, and how long should they date or remain engaged are some of the decisions they face and often struggle with. Another decision unmarried Christian couples often face is whether or not they should live together before marriage. Many people believe there are several valid reasons to do so. For instance, you learn each other’s habits, you can discover each other’s true expectations for marriage, and it can help in deciding whether or not couples want to go through with marriage. While these are all things people need to know, for the soon-to-be-married or marriage-hopeful Christian, they may not be reason enough to take the plunge into living together before they say I do. For believers, God not wanting couples living together before marriage often plagues their thoughts, especially when there is no specific Scripture that states couples cannot live together without the benefit of marriage. If you’re wondering why, take a look at the reasons listed below.

    1. Sexual temptation.

    Being in close quarters with the one you love, the one you desire, and the person you are physically attracted to can and will tempt anyone to engage in sexual activities. The Bible provides clear instructions on maintaining sexual morality for all believers, whether they are single, engaged, or married. If you are thinking about cohabitation before saying I do, then you and your fiance need to think about how you will avoid engaging in premarital sex. Will you sleep in separate bedrooms? Will you set boundaries for each other when it comes to sexual temptation? If you succumb to your sexual desires, is there a plan of repentance in place? If you are planning to cohabitate with your partner before marriage, you must acknowledge what God says about fornication and decide how you will handle the temptations together. Again, while there is no specific scripture in the Bible that states couples should not live together before marriage, this is one reason why many believers are taught that they should not do so.

    2. It can mock marriage.

    Living together before marriage mocks the covenant of marriage because couples tend to make decisions together and take care of household finances and other responsibilities that can come with marriage. Marriage is a sacred commitment to God and the people He brings together. The responsibilities that accompany it should not be taken lightly before a solid commitment is made. While the rationale to dwell together before saying I do is for people to learn more about each other, it still mocks the union that God ordained.

    Photo credit: GettyImages/bernardbodo

    3. It takes away the value of commitment.

    Couples cohabitate together for many reasons—personal, financial, or convenience. While couples have their reasons for living together before marriage, many believe that doing so before marriage takes away the value of commitment. People can become content in their arrangement and may not feel the need to take the next step of marriage. This is not the case for all, but in many cases, couples who live together may not see the need for marriage, and for the Christian believer this dishonors God. The commitment of marriage is the standard God has set for believers. If you and your partner strive to live a life that pleases God, you may want to reconsider cohabitation before marriage. Knowing and understanding what commitment means to you and your future spouse is important. Both people need to be clear on what to expect and what level of commitment they are willing to show each other.

    4. It may be harder to leave a relationship after cohabitation.

    It’s been theorized that it may be harder to end a relationship once two people live together. Many couples have various reasons for living together before marriage, but one reason is to see if they are genuinely compatible with each other and if they can, in fact, peacefully live with each other. If people who live together discover, sooner or later, that they are not meant for each other, how do they successfully move forward with their lives individually? After sharing space, you become accustomed to seeing your partner daily; in a sense, they have become part of your routine. While establishing a new routine can be done, it can be challenging from an emotional point of view. It can also be difficult if one person does not have a stable means of income or a place to call their own in the event of a transition. No one wants someone they love to struggle, so depending on how things end, one partner may harbor feelings of guilt for wanting to leave the relationship.

    Cohabitating with someone is an important decision for people to make. Some may consider it the big step before the bigger step of marriage. While people have their reasons for doing so, this should not be judged. There are so many things to consider, and you want to be sure your reasons are valid. For the believer, if you are thinking about this, seek counseling from married couples or a premarital counselor who has the same values and beliefs as you for guidance. Also, it’s important to discuss finances, expectations for the future, responsibilities, and other goals for the future for both of you.

    The world and the world of believers have morals, values, and rules they live by for different reasons. It’s vital to be clear on how you want to live your life and how you want your relationships to go. Many people choose to cohabitate before marriage; others do not. As you continue your journey with God, your singleness, or your partner, I pray that you ask God for guidance on how He wants your life and all your relationships to go. Always be mindful, prayerful, and careful with the decisions you make in your relationships. Do what honors God and what’s best for both of you to live in harmony.

    Photo credit: © Getty Images/jacoblund

    Crosswalk Contributor Liz LampkinAuthor Liz Lampkin is an experienced writer, teacher, and speaker. She is an advocate for singles who encourages them to live their best life God’s way. Follow her on Instagram @Liz_Lampkin.



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    Liz Lampkin

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  • 3 Ways Grandparents Can Leave a Legacy of Faith

    3 Ways Grandparents Can Leave a Legacy of Faith

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    There are a few moments that stand out as optimal grandparent time in our memories. You know, the ones many of us share if we were blessed enough to be able to spend time with our grandparents.

    The Christmas program, when, as a child, you looked out into the audience and saw their proud smiles. Or, the birthday when they bring you the present you were aching for and had been told by the not-so-cool parents that you wouldn’t be receiving it. Or, there may be that one special memory that you revisit from time to time, and a reminiscent smile rests on your face.

    But what is the difference between memory versus legacy.

    Webster’s dictionary defines “memory” as: the power or process of reproducing or recalling what has been learned and retained especially through associative mechanisms. Essentially, it’s a repetitive replay of the past, either good or bad, special or traumatic.

    “Legacy” on the other hand, comes with a very different emphasis. Webster’s describes legacy as: something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past. A carrying over of something tangible, perhaps tradition, a belief, a way of life.

    In this article, we will focus on how grandparents can truly leave a legacy of faith that can shape their families for years to come.

    How My Own Grandparents Impacted My Faith

    I was blessed to build many memories with my grandparents. I was blessed to have grandparents in my life, and my children have also received a similar blessing.

    While, my memories of my grandma are those of watching the Lawrence Welk show on her slippery couch (some material that was actually shiny!), and of being put to bed only to sneak out after my older brother was asleep to curl up into her cozy side and watch Dallas and Dynasty (perfect childhood bedtime shows), I have taken some time recently to sit back and reflect on what legacy she left behind.

    How was it different from my other grandmother’s? And how my grandfathers’ legacies affected me as well?

    I knew my Gramma Wright for my first eight years of life. Memories are sketchy, but legacy? I have been startled at how much legacy was instilled in me in those short eight years.

    The one I recall the most, is the legacy of joy. She was an insatiably joyful person. I’m not sure if that was just my perspective, but then, does it matter? It was what she passed along to me.

    She showed me joy by taking a deep satisfaction in allowing me to spend time with her. Whether it was watching a forbidden nighttime soap that went completely over my head, or helping her make her ridiculously salty homemade macaroni and cheese, or telling me stories of sleigh rides in the snow at Christmas as a child.

    Gramma Wright found joy in every circumstance. I’m sure her faith played a part in that. She’d lost my Grandpa Wright before I was born, but she didn’t exude a spirit of loneliness or grief. I’m sure she felt it, but her mission seemed to be to instill in me a legacy of joy.

    No matter the circumstance. When she passed away, the last time I visited her in the hospital, I recall her shouting down the hallway from her bed as I walked away with my parents to go home. “I love you! I love you!” she cried in a wobbly, weak voice.

    Looking back, I get teary eyed. It’s a memory to go along with her legacy. Her legacy of time spent with loved ones, and finding essential joy within the spirits of her family. As you study your relationship with your grandchildren, consider the qualities and characteristics you want to etch into their foundations as pivotal.

    These will stay with them long into their adult years as cornerstones to who they are as a person and as someone impacting the world around them.

    My other gramma, Gramma Lola, instilled in me a legacy of history. She breathed and oozed family history and every antique she owned was connected to someone in our lineage who had a story.

    Gramma Lola was not a story writer, nor was she a story teller, but yet she believed strongly in the power of story. In the power of remembering loved ones, learning from loved ones long since past, and incorporating their legacies in our daily lives.

    I knew from a young age that her father had struggled with prejudice as a German immigrant who spoke little English. I learned too, that he fought through it, took pride in his heritage, and made sure his children and grandchildren held their heads up.

    My Gramma Lola was not ashamed of her strong German roots, even when the World War came and Germans weren’t particularly preferred. Do your grandchildren know where they came from?

    Scripture talks of the influence of ancestry and generational traditions and faith. If your grandchildren aren’t aware of the framework that has formed your family, their attachment and devotion to what has been important in your family tree, will be lost.

    Educate them on the constructs of their ancestors, and share with them the faith, the perseverance, and the fortitude with which your family tree has been cultivated.

    I can go on. But now that I have my own children, I look to my parents and my in-laws and how they too are instilling legacy. Most importantly, how they are instilling a legacy of faith.

    It’s more than apparent that grandparents have a huge impact on the lives of their grandchildren. And, while I’ve sought out these legacies, defined them, and nested them deep in my heart, how does a grandparent effectively communicate legacy to their grandchildren? Especially a legacy of faith?

    In reviewing my own experiences, and now watching my children’s, I’ve found some clarity. Here are 3 ways grandparents can leave a legacy of faith.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/monkeybusinessimages

    1. Make Faith an Active, Included Part of Life

    My grandparents were strong in their faith, and because of such, that legacy was passed on to both sets of my parents. But it wasn’t the going to church part that instilled it.

    Honestly, it wasn’t even the practice of Christianity’s traditions. It was how they lived their faith.

    When there is a struggle with one of my children at school, my mom will pick them up and more often than not, by the time I’m able to snatch them after work, my Dad has spent time in prayer with them over the situation, or my mom has commiserated with my daughter and then helped her to self-reflect on what Jesus would have her do.

    A legacy of faith is the inclusion of bedtime prayers with grandparents, and when my Dad plays “church” with them, allowing the kids to “preach the Word”, and lead worship songs with their ukuleles and recorders.

    I’m sure it’s the most unprofessionally produced worship service, but the kids come home chattering about how they had “church” with Poppy–on a weekday.

    Faith becomes just a normal part of life. It’s not marked by significant traditions, so much as stamped into life by daily events.

    2. Make Faith a Part of Every Day Conversation

    I think grandparents often rely on the fact that actions speak louder than words. In the end, the old adage is true.

    However, with children–especially little ones–it’s important to verbalize your faith.

    Do I recall my grandparents living a good life? One of ethics and morality? Absolutely! But I also know–because they made it clear by talking about it–that these decisions were not made simply out of innate human goodness.

    It was driven by their faith in their Savior and was dependent on not just their awareness of Him, but also their reliance on His Word. Our children need to learn–especially in these days–that goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, and so forth, are not inspired by our personal aptitude.

    Different versions of human kindness and respect abound and what to some is common sense, to others, it contradicts the essence of what they’ve experienced. A measuring tool, a point of reference, a place of truth, needs to be established for these little lives who will one day take up the mantle of faith and walk forward.

    So speak your origins of faith into them. Verbalize the Scripture you hold dear. Express to them why you do what you do as inspired by your relationship with the Lord. Don’t rely merely on your actions to communicate the roots and the foundations of why those actions abound.

    Words become the memories we draw upon long after loved ones have left our lives, and the verbalization of your faith will become a whisper on their heart for eternity. 

    3. Make Faith the Priority

    I know my Grandpa Wright found hunting and fishing to be his number one thing. It was his hobby, his passion, and by having such, he instilled a deep appreciation for nature into my dad and his brothers, which in turn, has been passed down to us.

    Interestingly, what is missing here, is his faith. I asked my dad once if Grandpa Wright had been a follower of Christ. My dad replied that he believed he was. That he had been baptized and had made a profession of faith at a Billy Sunday revival meeting.

    But the thing is, the prioritizing of that faith was not my grandpa’s priority. Did that make him a bad legacy builder? Not at all. In looking back on his life, I believe he was a follower of Christ–again, his actions speak as well, but his voice was very quiet.

    My own dad has made a pivotal effort in his relationship with his grandchildren, to make it known that he is passionately following Jesus. It is his priority.

    There will be no question, after my dad passes, as to whether he was or wasn’t a Believer. It will just be known. It was his priority, after all, and he made sure we all knew that. Very, very well.

    The prioritization of your faith will become a spiritual tattoo of sorts on the souls of your grandchildren. While it can–and at times will–be ignored, it is still always there and it is non-erasable.

    It is in the dark times, perhaps even the blessed times, your grandchildren will capture glimpses of these Spiritual priorities, inked in a Spiritual pen, that will draw them, compel them, and remind them that faith is an indelible mark of consistency they should not ignore. 

    In the end, leaving a legacy for our grandchildren is important. Leaving the legacy of faith is critical. Faith is being challenged, threatened even, and going forward, freedoms may even be limited.

    We cannot take for granted that faith will just come to our grandchildren, or they will somehow assume the faith because we have it. We must teach it. With words, actions, prioritization, and depth.

    As Deuteronomy states so clearly, we must saturate the lives of the next generation with the Lord. 

    Deuteronomy 6.5-7: You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

    Diligently. Passionately. Constantly.

    And your legacy will bear fruit for generations to come.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Sam Edwards

    Jaime Jo Wright is an ECPA and Publisher’s Weekly bestselling author. Her novel “The House on Foster Hill” won the prestigious Christy Award and she continues to publish Gothic thrillers for the inspirational market. Jaime Jo resides in the woods of Wisconsin, lives in dreamland, exists in reality, and invites you to join her adventures at jaimewrightbooks.com and at her podcast madlitmusings.com where she discusses the deeper issues of story and faith with fellow authors.



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    Jaime Jo Wright

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  • What to Do When Your Wife Says, “I’m Fine”

    What to Do When Your Wife Says, “I’m Fine”

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    Many people view the male/female dynamic as complex. Sometimes, when you have been together for years, you don’t know how to take each other. This is especially true when a wife says, “I’m fine.” There are many reasons we say, “We’re fine,” which is not comforting to the men in our lives at all. So, what should you do when your wife says, “I’m fine?” Assess the situation and try these.

    There’s a good possibility that we could actually be fine. This is often the answer we give after a long day at work. This could also mean a long, drawn-out conversation about a problem is not what we’re up for right now. We’re not trying to be coy. We don’t want to explain ourselves any further.

    Take us at our word and let it go. If we want to talk further, we will let you know.

    2. We Have Something on Our Mind that We Are Afraid to Say

    We may be uncomfortable about something in the relationship but don’t want to come out and say it. In our society, people frown upon being the first to voice grievances in a relationship.

    Give us some time; we will eventually want to talk, and when we do, both parties need to be non-judgmental out of genuine concern for the issue from both parties.

    3. Don’t Always Assume it Has Something to Do with You

    Sometimes, we are upset about other things that have nothing to do with you. A rude coworker, a fight with a family member, losing a friendship. We can be upset about all kinds of things, and some things we can’t share because we want to protect someone’s privacy.

    If you ask and we don’t want to talk about it, let it go. We may feel like talking about it later, as long as it doesn’t infringe on anyone’s privacy.

    4. Remember We Are Complex

    Women are very multi-faceted and complex. This doesn’t mean you have to figure out the meaning of everything we say. Society conditions us to keep what hurts us inside, but you have the power to break down those walls. You should be wondering why you feel you can’t trust our answer and why we are trying to hide our emotions.

    5. Let Her Know How You Feel

    Photo credit: GettyImages/bernardbodo

    In a nonconfrontational way, let your partner know how you are feeling. Build up to an exciting conversation that she can take part in and explain why talking about what she is struggling with is beneficial. Easing her into a conversation will make her feel more comfortable and more willing to share about what is bothering her.

    6. Be Empathetic

    As you are discussing, keep control of your own emotions. What you think is something minor to be upset about may be huge for your wife. Keeping your feelings in check will help your partner feel comfortable sharing their feelings now and in the future.

    7. Give Her Time to Reflect

    While your partner is sharing the issue, listen actively; don’t just sit there. Ask questions when necessary to clarify what she’s saying or ensure you are on the same page. If the issue is a sensitive topic, she may need a warm hug or words of encouragement from you to help make her feel at ease.

    Letting her know you support her and then leaving her to reflect on the issue or situation and how she feels can be the best thing you can do. Many of us need to think through things and reflect to help process what has happened or how we feel.

    8. Respect Her Boundaries

    Don’t push the issue if she’s not ready to talk. The last thing she wants is to be hounded or peppered with a thousand questions when trying to work through something. Instead, go do something on your own for a while and then come back a little later and ask if she would like to talk.

    woman sitting on couch holding coffee mug with blanket thinking, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Prostock-Studio

    9. Reflect

    Think about the last time you were in this situation, and she said, “I’m fine.” What was going on in your life? Did you fight or say something that upset her? Did she have a bad day at work, or were the kids driving her crazy? Was she having issues with a friend, family member, coworker, or boss? How did you react?

    Reflecting on these things may give you some insight into why she is upset now. If some of the same things that upset her before are still going on, this may be why she’s upset now.

    10. Talk to Your Friends

    This doesn’t mean you should air your dirty laundry, but it may help to talk to some guy friends. Especially those who have been married longer than you. When you are just married, you are still getting to know each other, and living together differs from dating. You see each other at your best and your worst, twenty-four-seven, three hundred sixty-five days a year.

    Meet a friend for coffee, explain what’s going on, and ask for some advice. You are not the only man in the world who struggles when their girlfriend or wife says, “I’m fine.” Many men aren’t sure what to do in this situation.

    Seeking a friend who has been married either a few or several years longer than you should be helpful. This friend has had more time and experience navigating their relationship and will give you some good tips on what to do. Although every relationship is different, you can at least get some different ideas on how to approach this situation.

    11. Pray about It

    Ask the Lord to help you discern the best way to help your wife and for him to help her with what’s bothering her. Ask him to give her clarity about how to resolve the issue or what not to do if it’s going to make the issue worse.

    The relationship between a husband and wife is special and complex. Even after dating for several years, it takes time to know your spouse. Humans are complicated, and knowing what your spouse means is hard when they only give short answers. You may have to reflect on what’s going on in your life, leave her alone with her emotions, or trust what she says. Remember to keep communication open and honest and always try to communicate with love. Trust your instincts when your wife says, “I’m fine.” If your gut tells you she’s fine, then trust it. If it tells you something more is going on, give her some space. She will come back to talk to you in time, and then you can find out the meaning behind her “I’m fine.”

    Photo credit: GettyImages/Makidotvn

    Related Podcast Resource: 5 Ways to C.O.V.E.R. Your Marriage in Prayer

    One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is to pray for your marriage. Learning communication skills, conflict resolution techniques and intimacy hacks are great. However, if you’re leaving your marriage uncovered by failing to pray for your spouse and your marriage, it will always be vulnerable to attacks. Prayer is an essential guiding tool to get you and your spouse on the same page and create unity in your marriage. In this episode of Real Relationship Talk, Dana Che shares her acronym C.O.V.E.R., which teaches you how to specifically pray for your marriage. To listen, just click the play button below:

    The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Salem Web Network and Salem Media Group.

    WATCH: Signs You Married for the Wrong Reasons

    Click here to read the full article.



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    Carrie Lowrance

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  • (Sky Sports)

    (Sky Sports)

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    India 1st innings

    Total

    396 all out, from 112 overs.

    Batting

    Runs
    Balls
    4s
    6s
    SR

    1. Jaiswal
      c Bairstow b Anderson;
      209 runs,
      290 balls,
      19 fours,
      7 sixes,
      and a strike rate of 72.07
    2. Sharma (c)
      c Pope b Bashir;
      14 runs,
      41 balls,
      0 fours,
      0 sixes,
      and a strike rate of 34.15
    3. Gill
      c Foakes b Anderson;
      34 runs,
      46 balls,
      5 fours,
      0 sixes,
      and a strike rate of 73.91
    4. Iyer
      c Foakes b Hartley;
      27 runs,
      59 balls,
      3 fours,
      0 sixes,
      and a strike rate of 45.76
    5. Patidar
      b Ahmed;
      32 runs,
      72 balls,
      3 fours,
      0 sixes,
      and a strike rate of 44.44
    6. Patel
      c Ahmed b Bashir;
      27 runs,
      51 balls,
      4 fours,
      0 sixes,
      and a strike rate of 52.94
    7. Bharat (wk)
      c Bashir b Ahmed;
      17 runs,
      23 balls,
      2 fours,
      1 sixes,
      and a strike rate of 73.91
    8. Ashwin
      c Foakes b Anderson;
      20 runs,
      37 balls,
      4 fours,
      0 sixes,
      and a strike rate of 54.05
    9. Yadav
      not out;
      8 runs,
      42 balls,
      0 fours,
      0 sixes,
      and a strike rate of 19.05
    10. Bumrah
      c Root b Ahmed;
      6 runs,
      9 balls,
      1 fours,
      0 sixes,
      and a strike rate of 66.67
    11. Mukesh Kumar
      c Root b Bashir;
      0 runs,
      3 balls,
      0 fours,
      0 sixes,
      and a strike rate of 0.00

    Fall of Wickets

    • Rohit Sharma at 40 for 1, from 17.3 overs
    • Shubman Gill at 89 for 2, from 28.5 overs
    • Shreyas Iyer at 179 for 3, from 50.4 overs
    • Rajat Patidar at 249 for 4, from 71.1 overs
    • Axar Patel at 301 for 5, from 85.3 overs
    • Srikar Bharat at 330 for 6, from 90.6 overs
    • Ravichandran Ashwin at 364 for 7, from 100.3 overs
    • Yashasvi Jaiswal at 383 for 8, from 106.5 overs
    • Jasprit Bumrah at 395 for 9, from 110.5 overs
    • Mukesh Kumar at 396 for 10, from 111.6 overs

    Bowling

    Overs
    Maidens
    Runs
    Wickets
    Econ

    1. Anderson:
      25overs,
      4 maidens,
      47 runs,
      3 wickets,
      and an economy of 1.88.
    2. Root:
      14overs,
      0 maidens,
      71 runs,
      0 wickets,
      and an economy of 5.07.
    3. Hartley:
      18overs,
      2 maidens,
      74 runs,
      1 wickets,
      and an economy of 4.11.
    4. Bashir:
      38overs,
      1 maidens,
      138 runs,
      3 wickets,
      and an economy of 3.63.
    5. Ahmed:
      17overs,
      2 maidens,
      65 runs,
      3 wickets,
      and an economy of 3.82.

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  • Can I Be Happy as a Single Christian?

    Can I Be Happy as a Single Christian?

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    There are disagreements within the Christian community over the matter of which is better—being married or being single. The Bible tells us that each is a good option (1 Corinthians 7:1-40). Those who are married should not condemn those who are not married, and those who are single should not condemn those who are married. With that being said, many individuals are still concerned if they can be happy as single Christians. While it is true the Bible says both are good, holy, and pleasing to the Lord, there is still the question of whether a Christian can be happy if they never get married.

    If you are a single Christian, know that this gives you the opportunity to be completely devoted to the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32-34). Being completely devoted to the Lord is a beautiful thing because it means you have your eyes fully set upon Christ. This will allow you to grow and mature in your faith in ways that others cannot. Married couples are concerned about pleasing each other; however, single Christians are most concerned about serving the Lord.

    Serving the Lord brings an individual much joy and happiness. By worshiping and serving the Lord, you are doing what God created you to do. There is a misnomer circulating the world that you are somehow less of a person if you are not married. This could not be further from the truth. The seminary I attended briefly taught this incorrect view and it left a lasting impact on individuals. If you have been told this or made to feel this way, know it is not true.

    Being a single Christian does not make you any less of a person. You are completely loved and cherished by God. He says you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16). Nowhere in the Bible are we told that marriage is superior to singleness. While it is true God says that it is not good for man to be alone, a single Christian is never really alone. There are many other trusted Christian individuals one can lean on and receive help from in their time of need. 

    Leaning on Other Single Friends 

    This is why it is important for you to lean on other single Christian friends when you are feeling down. This is not to say all single Christians feel this way because many do not. Singleness is a gift and something that should be cherished; however, it is not unrealistic to say many Christians do not want to stay single forever. Remember the truth that whether this is a season of singleness or if you will stay single for your entire life, it is all working out for your good (Romans 8:28).

    This can be hard for the single Christian woman who sees all of her friends getting married while she hasn’t ever dated or for the single Christian man who feels as though there is something wrong with him whenever he asks a woman out on a date and the woman says no. If you are going through one of these things, know that singleness is nothing to be ashamed of. You might feel like the odd one out, but remember the truth that God doesn’t make mistakes, and you will be able to have a more devoted relationship with Him through your singleness.

    Talking with your single Christian friends can also help if you have a strong desire to date or get married. They will be able to help you process these feelings and desires. It would be especially helpful if these individuals were older Christians who are seasoned in knowing what it means to be single and committed to someone. By talking to them, you will be able to see the joy in their eyes and feel the happiness that they radiate, whether married or not. 

    Your Worth Is Not Tied to Your Relationship Status 

    It is also worthwhile to mention that to be happy as a single Christian, you have to stop tying your worth to your relationship status. It doesn’t matter if you are single or married—you are seen as beloved in the eyes of God. God does not think more highly of people who are married compared to those who are single and vice versa. The idea that your worth is tied to your relationship status comes from unbiblical teachings. 

    Your worth is found in Christ alone. This is reason enough to rejoice. You do not have to prove yourself to anyone nor do you have to explain yourself to anyone. As a single Christian, you are 100% worthy. You are worthy because of Jesus. In the same way, married couples are 100% worthy because of Jesus. A person’s worth is not tied to their relationship status, but rather, it is found in Christ.

    Joy in Singleness 

    With all of these facts in mind, there is no reason not to be happy as a single Christian. Just because you are single does not mean you are missing out on anything. There is a beauty in singleness and a blessing to behold. You will be able to spend devoted time with the Lord and allow Him to lead every step of your life. Do not let others look down on you or view you as “incomplete” if you are not married. You are complete in Christ just as you are.

    Whether you are single for a few years before God brings the right person into your life or you are single for the rest of your life, know that there is nothing wrong with singleness. The idea that there is something “bad” or “wrong” with being single doesn’t come from God. Instead, it comes from the idea that everyone has to be married. Not every individual Christian will get married in their lifetime, and that is okay.

    There will be many single Christians who never marry, and we need to normalize it. It is completely okay and biblical to remain unmarried. You could choose to remain single because you want to devote yourself to serving God, or you could find yourself to be single because this is what God has planned for your life. The important thing to remember is that you are worthy, loved, and cherished by God. Even if you may never marry does not mean you will be miserable.

    Consider this: many people who are married are miserable. Their spouses leave them, cheat on them, or are abusive to them. As we can see, a life of singleness is nothing to be afraid of. Both singleness and marriage pose their own problems. Regardless, by being single, your entire focus is on the Lord, and He will never leave.

    Marriage is difficult, and it is not for every person. Films, television shows, and music all try to make it out to be a walk in the park, but it isn’t. If you ask any married couple, they probably have their own issues. Just because someone is married doesn’t mean they are happy all the time. In the same way, just because you are single doesn’t mean you will be miserable all the time. Within marriage and singleness, there will both be times of despair and happiness. 

    Therefore, yes, you can be happy as a single Christian. There is nothing wrong with being a single Christian. You will be able to serve God more fully and faithfully. Being single is a gift and nothing to be ashamed of. There will be times of sorrow, grief, and despair, but there will also be times of happiness, joy, and smiles. The same goes for married individuals. As we can see, you can be happy whether you are married or single—it’s all about focusing on Jesus. 

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Prostock-Studio

    Vivian Bricker loves Jesus, studying the Word of God, and helping others in their walk with Christ. She has earned a Bachelor of Arts and Master’s degree in Christian Ministry with a deep academic emphasis in theology. Her favorite things to do are spending time with her family and friends, reading, and spending time outside. When she is not writing, she is embarking on other adventures.



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    Vivian Bricker

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  • Lysa TerKeurst Celebrates Second Marriage after ‘Painful’ Divorce

    Lysa TerKeurst Celebrates Second Marriage after ‘Painful’ Divorce

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    Best-selling author and Proverbs 31 Ministries founder Lysa TerKeurst has announced that she has remarried two years after her divorce from her husband, Art TerKeurst, after 29 years of marriage.

    “I want to invite you in to share a new chapter in my life,” TerKeurst captioned in a post on Instagram on Thursday.

    According to The Christian Post, the post included several photos from her wedding to her new husband, Chaz.

    “In January of 2023, I met Chaz. And as the pages kept turning last year, we knew what we’d found in each other was love. A beautiful love that requires work like love always does. But a togetherness that is safe, honest, fun, funny and surrendered to the sacred way God tells us to love and care for each other.”

    “We got engaged last fall, which I decided to hold private so I could tell as many people as possible face to face. I got to tell many of you when we saw each other at stores and airports and coffee shops and dinners and FaceTimes. Those were sweet conversations I treasure.”

    View this post on Instagram

    A post shared by Lysa TerKeurst (@lysaterkeurst)

    “And then last week, surrounded by our family and some beautiful mountains, Chaz and I exchanged our vows. As soon as we were announced husband and wife, some fun music started playing. I invited our kids and grandkids to join in as we all danced in the gently falling snow.”

    In January 2022, Terkeurst announced she had filed for divorce from Art in 2021 due to infidelity. While she initially wanted to divorce her husband in 2017 because of infidelity and addiction, the couple renewed their vows a year later after restoring their marriage.

    However, she sought for divorce a second time after Art broke the renewed vows. A subsequent court filing found that Art spent more than $118,000 on an extramarital affair with a woman he met on SugarDaddy.com.

    “Over the past several years, I have fought really hard to not just save my marriage, but to survive the devastation of what consistent deception of one spouse does to the other,” she wrote at the time. “It’s brutal and heart crushing to constantly fear the hurtful choices of someone you love. I’ve had to learn the hard way there’s a big difference between mistakes (which we all make) and chosen patterns of behavior that dishonor God and the biblical covenant of marriage.”

    With Art, the couple have five adult children together.

    RELATED:
    Lysa TerKeurst Opens Up about Finding Love Again following Her Divorce
    ‘Brutal and Heartcrushing’: Christian Author Lysa TerKeurst Announces  Divorce from Husband of 29 Years

    In her recent post, TerKeurst pointed to God’s faithfulness amid her seasons of hardship.

    “God is kind. God is faithful. When life begs me to believe otherwise, I remind myself that God’s not done yet. There’s more to be revealed. We’ll see,” she wrote.

    “And though I sometimes still feel pricks of pain over some really hard stuff in the past, I’m so grateful I didn’t stay stuck trying to make things happen my way and in my timing. In my stubbornness, I thought I knew what was best. It was God’s grace all those times He told me ‘no,’” TerKeurst continued.

    “God helped me learn to lean on Him in the midst of my biggest disappointments and how to sit alone and be okay. He helped me fight battles that are still going on, not with one great big miraculous intervention, but instead with daily provisions and assurances.”

    TerKeurst, who leads Proverbs 31 Ministries, has authored several New York Times bestselling books, including It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way and Forgiving What You Can’t Forget.

    Image credit: Lysa TerKeurst / Instagram

    Milton Quintanilla is a freelance writer and content creator. He is a contributing writer for Christian Headlines and the host of the For Your Soul Podcast, a podcast devoted to sound doctrine and biblical truth. He holds a Masters of Divinity from Alliance Theological Seminary.

    LISTEN: Let Our Bible Study Expert Help You Start the New Year Right!

    Have you ever chosen a word for the year? Whether you pick a word each year or never have before, I think this episode will help you order your life in the year to come. If you don’t know what your word is, today might be a great day for you to hear some of the things that we are promised in Christ that you in faith can claim for yourself for 2024. Keep in mind, each of these words requires faith.

    The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Salem Web Network and Salem Media Group.

    WATCH: 5 Verses on Strength for When You Feel Weak

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    The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Salem Web Network and Salem Media Group.

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    You can read Rhonda’s full article here.



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  • What Do We Do When Marriage Is Hard?

    What Do We Do When Marriage Is Hard?

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    Some couples speak of blissful-filled marriages, where spending time together is wonderful and the constant conversations never end. It’s wonderful, too, to hear of these ideal, trouble-free unions. Who wouldn’t want to reside in such a carefree, easy sort of relationship where husband and wife are each other’s best friends?

    For other couples though, it’s a very different story. Staying married is filled with challenges, and for many, just trying to get along, communicate, and co-reside in a home is an ongoing battle.

    There’s also lots of chatter in our culture concerning marriage, relationships, and red flags, including opinions and advice from a secular, unbiblical viewpoint that doesn’t align with God’s truth. It’s important when going through marital challenges that we don’t turn to worldly views because they’re tickling our ears with what we want to hear, feel, and do rather than the truth of God’s Word.

    Likewise, we often look around and see couples we think have it all together, but even in marriages that appear to be solid with the perfect couple, it can be hard. Evangelist Billy Graham’s wife, Ruth, is credited with saying, when asked if she ever considered divorce, “No, but murder, yes.”

    Why Fight for a Marriage That’s Hard?

    Tragically, marriage is under severe attack. Society is working to have people devalue, avoid, mock, and redesign it. However, God designed marriage to be a sacred union, respected, revered, and held holy before Him.

    Our culture has been whittling marriage down to a legal contract for whoever wants to marry. But marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God. Men’s and women’s laws do not have the power to reinvent it.

    Marriage is so vital to God and His plan for His followers because it represents the relationship between His Church and Jesus Christ. It’s why the devil is out in full force, attacking and ripping marriages apart, set on destroying and stopping God’s will on earth.

    Revelation 19:7 describes Christ and His Church to come: “Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready.”

    More than most Christians realize, marriage is more than worth the fight, just like the Church of Jesus Christ is worth fighting the battle. Believers unwilling to fight for their marriages may find it too hard to stand up and fight for the Church.

    Why Bother to Save a Difficult Marriage?

    It is vital for believers in Jesus Christ to take their earthly marriage vows with reverence and commitment, understanding that it is a covenant with God and with each other, not a contract. Ephesians 5:25-33 explains how, through the mystery of earthly marriage designed to form an unbreakable bond between husband, wife, and God, He reveals the mystery of His Bride, the Church.

    “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through word and to present her to Himself as a radiant Church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Ephesians 5:25-27

    God designed marriage as the model for what the Church is to be—the Body of Christ on Earth. Ephesians 5:28-30 goes on to explain, “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the Church—for we are members of His body.”

    As Ephesians 5:31 explains, God created marriage as a profound mystery that reveals His eternal plan for Christ and His Church: “’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the Church.”

    Where Do Couples Turn for Help?

    For those who struggle in their marriages but want to do whatever they can to stay married, what can they do to keep going?

    What does a wife do if her spouse is distant, unresponsive, uninterested, or uninvolved? Does she sit him down and cross-examine him in hopes of finding out what’s going on? Perhaps for some couples, this course of action works, but especially for most men, they seem to clam up when being put on the spot and questioned. But what does God’s Word lead a wife to do? 

    At times when our marriage is in distress, we can turn to Scripture and trust what it tells us to do in difficult situations, especially when it comes to marriage. God gives us His Word to encourage, strengthen, and comfort us when marriage is hard. 

    Where Do a Husband and Wife Begin?

    The following are five ways we can practice scriptural truths in our marriages in a way that helps us stay married:

    1. Pray. First and most importantly, wives can pray for their husbands. 1 Timothy 2:1 encourages, “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people.”

    If at all possible, pray with them. By doing so, we’re letting God work through the words the Holy Spirit is leading us to say to soften his heart. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 urges us to “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 

    2. Follow God’s Word. Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us that “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

    So what do we say to ourselves when our hearts are leading us to leave our marriages and go with our fun-loving neighbor down the street? Or our co-worker in the office who gets us or the outgoing man at the coffee shop who notices us, pays extra attention, listens to our stories, and makes us feel attractive and wanted?

    The world’s advice to “follow our heart” can lead us straight off a steep cliff. We can’t trust our hearts to take us in the right direction. Mark 7:21-22 explains, “For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly.”

    When temptation comes, we can turn to God to help us, and He will. In our weakness, we can turn to Him, follow His Word, and He will lead us to safety. “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

    3. Choose Love. Unlike what songs, films, and poems often profess, love is not a feeling. It’s a decision. Although we may not like to admit it, feelings are often tied to how our spouse makes us feel, so when feelings diminish or change, which they usually do, we often believe we no longer love them. 

    But what some call love, the feeling that comes and goes with a whim and changes with the breeze, is not a love that comes from God because His love lasts; it never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8).

    True love is not a fleeting kind of love but rather a choice to love when it’s hard, with the love of God that is strong enough to cover sin. To endure a hard marriage is to let the love of God flow through us to our spouse. 1 Peter 4:8 urges us to “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

    4. Forgive Each Other. Colossians 3:13 encourages us to “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

    Although many see this as forgiving everyone but their spouse, marriage is probably where this godly principle is needed the most and is given the greatest opportunity to be practiced. Ruth Bell Graham stated, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”

    5. Submit to One Another. Although some consider it demeaning in practice, even now in some Christian circles, submission is a beautiful act of sacrifice and worship to God. True submission is not about the other person but has everything to do with our reverence and obedience to Christ. Ephesians 5:21 urges, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

    We’re called to submit to each other, including our husbands, which stirs up strong reactions from many women, who find it easier to do with almost anyone else rather than to their husbands.

    1 Peter 3:1-2 urges, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

    Wives, although a hard pill to swallow, we want to ask ourselves and God if our unwillingness to submit to our own husbands reveals rebellion in our hearts towards God. The enemy of our souls doesn’t want us to submit to God and convinces us it is a weakness to do so, which is a lie because it’s quite the opposite. 

    Submission causes the devil to flee from us. James 4:7 explains, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

    Marriage to Be Honored by All

    Hebrews 13:4 calls for marriage to be honored by all, and this is why the devil and his cohorts are ruthlessly at work to destroy and deconstruct God’s sacred design.

    So how are couples able to withstand the vicious assaults against holy matrimony? God’s Word gives us the answer: by praying, following God’s Word, choosing to love one another, forgiving each other, and submitting one to another in obedience to Christ. 

    These are key to transforming a hard marriage into one that reflects Christ and His Church on Earth.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/fizkes

    Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.



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  • St Mirren 0-1 Rangers | Scottish Premiership highlights

    St Mirren 0-1 Rangers | Scottish Premiership highlights

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    Highlights of the Scottish Premiership match between St Mirren and Rangers.

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  • 8 Ways Kids Will Change Your Marriage (for the Better!)

    8 Ways Kids Will Change Your Marriage (for the Better!)

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    Almost 13 years ago my husband and I welcomed our first born into our lives. This precious baby boy was the answer to many prayers. Our excitement ran high and our hearts were overflowing with emotion. We could not imagine anything better than that moment.

    But there was something better, our marriage.

    Having kids can be hard on a marriage. Too often we hear about couples who begin to struggle and find their marriages in a fragile place. Well, I am here to share with you eight ways kids will change your marriage, for the better.

    1. You Become a Better Team

    When I got married, I was told that marriage was something I would have to work at. I would need to be a team player. After having children, this piece of advice became clear. Husbands and wives become one before God on their wedding day. They commit to working together as a team to glorify the Lord.

    Becoming parents creates a stronger team. The level of empathy is driven higher. You are both now responsible for another life. That responsibility includes feeding, clothing, providing safety and security, and molding their minds in the way they should live. Both of you are now parents and you realize that working together can reap huge rewards for your children and your marriage.

    2. You Cherish Each Other’s Company More

    We are aware of how much time a child requires daily. By the time we get to the end of the day, there is just nothing left. Spending time with your spouse begins to suffer. That realization creates a situation where when you do get that special time together, you cherish it.

    You aren’t criticizing the fact that your time together is not filled with chocolates, roses, or candles. Time together as parents now includes sitting on the couch after the children are in bed or watching your favorite TV show together. Maybe you take a short walk around your neighborhood while someone watches the kids.

    None of these activities seem special, but for husbands and wives on the parenting journey, it is a time that you can just focus on each other. Couples can experience conversations without interruptions and cherish the time cuddling without your precious little one rooting between you.

    3. You Become More Present With One Another

    Being present with your spouse can fuel your connection with each other. When you are present with someone, you put aside your desires and expectations. You no longer have a standard your spouse should live up to. For a moment, all the expectations of parenting are put aside.

    It is safe to say that my husband and I don’t spend a lot of time together because we are parents. We are juggling schedules to get the kids to their activities, get to the grocery store, and make sure everyone has clean clothes. This reality has made me stop and pay attention more.

    I have found myself staring at my husband when he is working on his motorcycle, caring for the cattle, or even when he is reading a book. These are the moments I feel most present and connected with him. I see him in his natural environment and learn more about what he loves and how he loves.

    We can learn so much about our spouses by making ourselves present. Becoming parents helps us accomplish that because we are limited on our time.

    4. You Become More Aware of the Need to Carve out Time for Each Other

    Getting married changed the relationship between my husband and I. Before our wedding day we were diligent about spending time together. Of course, I was in college an hour away from him. Once we married, we were living together. We had each other 24/7 so the need to carve out time for each other was put on the back burner. Every night was date night.

    Parenting changed all of that. I was once told by a birthing counselor to remember that you had each other before the kids came along. How true that statement is. Too often we can put our children in front of our spouses needs. All our time is devoted to parenting and that can leave your spouse feeling neglected.

    Having children means we must carve out time together. That time is so special and so appreciated. Without children, I don’t think we would have date nights or be running away to sit in the car and just talk.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes 

    5. You Have Better Communication

    Dr. Philip Cowan, a professor of psychology, stated in a 2005 article that parenting reveals fault lines in a marriage. I have to agree with this. Personally, I found my method of communication was terrible. As parents, we have moments where we feel underappreciated and exhausted. Then we lash out at our spouses. It’s after that moment has passed that we should be saying,” I’m sorry, I said those words in anger and I should have thought before I spoke.”

    My husband and I have found that our communication is much better now than before we had children. Couples have a clearer understanding of the need to be honest with each other and share their feelings openly. God created marriage so that we would have a helpmate.

    How can we help each other if we don’t communicate well? Having children will help you check in with each other regularly and keep the lines of communication open.

    6. You Create a Deeper Respect For One Another

    My husband often told me how much he admired me for becoming a mother. He experienced the nausea, exhaustion, and lower ability to breathe and even walk without waddling. During the birth process, he witnessed the miracle of birth and how dangerous it could be.

    Experiencing the birth and day to day events of raising children will bring you and your spouse closer. I know what being a mom is like, but I cannot understand the struggles of being a father. I respect and admire my husband for teaching our son how to be a Godly man and showing our daughter how a man should treat her.

    Having children truly does allow us the opportunity to see deeper into our spouse’s hearts and souls. What a blessing that could be!

    7. You Build a Greater Sense of Intimacy

    Intimacy is a feeling of closeness with someone. According to one definition I read, it is a private, cozy atmosphere. Couples with children need to have a private, cozy place with one another. As you drudge through the day-to-day, it is wonderful to be able to fall into the arms of your spouse.

    After kids, the intimate physical relationship with your spouse can change, but it doesn’t have to. I have experienced a greater sense of intimacy with my husband since having children. I realize that when the moon is in the sky, cuddling with my man makes me feel safe and accepted. Getting a hug or stealing a kiss in the middle of the day can reset your mind.

    8. You Build a Deeper Relationship with God

    God is the model all parents should follow. He has filled His word with instruction regarding parenting. The words in Deuteronomy 11:18-19 remind us that we are to fix the word of God on our hearts and teach them to our children. We are to speak the Word of God in our homes, when we walk, when we lie down, and when we get up.

    Teaching our children, the word of God starts with learning the Word ourselves. Husbands and wives that read the Bible together and pray together will develop a deeper relationship with Christ. They will turn to him for answers in their marriage and their parenting journey.

    Marriage is a sacred commitment made before God that is filled with joyous moments. Parenting can create struggles, but we now know that becoming parents doesn’t mean failed marriages. We can still nurture that relationship and build a solid marriage based on the Word of God.

    A marriage like that will teach our children what their marriages should be like. They will know what love, respect, and honor looks like. What better lesson can we teach our children than to love God and how to love the partner God created for them?

    Photo Credit: ©Pexels/Ketut Subiyanto

    Ashley Hooker headshotAshley Hooker is a freelance writer who spends her time homeschooling her two children, ministering alongside her husband as he pastors a rural church in West Virginia, and writing about her faith. Currently, she is a contributing author for Journey Christian magazine. She has taken part in mission trips with the NC Baptist Men during the devastation of Hurricanes Katrina and Harvey in Mississippi and Texas. In her local church, she has served on various committees focusing in the area of evangelism along with traveling to West Virginia and Vermont to share the Gospel. Her dream is to spend her time writing and sharing the love of Christ with all she meets.

    LISTEN: Let Our Bible Study Expert Help You Start the New Year Right!

    Have you ever chosen a word for the year? Whether you pick a word each year or never have before, I think this episode will help you order your life in the year to come. If you don’t know what your word is, today might be a great day for you to hear some of the things that we are promised in Christ that you in faith can claim for yourself for 2024. Keep in mind, each of these words requires faith.

    The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Salem Web Network and Salem Media Group.

    Related video:

    Are you in the trenches with your toddlers or teens? Read Rhonda’s full article here!



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  • Cyrie Dessers puts Rangers ahead after superb assist from John Lundstram

    Cyrie Dessers puts Rangers ahead after superb assist from John Lundstram

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    Cyrie Dessers put Rangers in the lead against St. Mirren after a superb assist from John Lundstram.

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  • 15 Tips for New Grandparents

    15 Tips for New Grandparents

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    One of the most significant milestones in your life is becoming a grandparent. A new generation has been added to your family, and you have entered a season of life that is so wonderful you could never imagine it. That new grandchild will change your life and give you glimpses of God in every smile.

    1. Pray. If you are a believing grandparent, you have no doubt been praying for this baby and the parents much longer than you have known him or her. When the baby finally comes, you hold that answer to your prayers in your arms and marvel at God’s handiwork. You felt somewhat the same way when the doctor put your own babies in your arms, but something about the tiny little extension of your family to the next generation brings tremendous emotion.

    Your prayers don’t stop now that the baby is here. In fact, the older your grandchild gets, the more they need our prayers to cover them constantly. The world they are growing up in gets a little more difficult every year. We want our grandchildren to grow up in the world but not experience all the things of the world.

    2. Play. Adult children love to see their parents enjoying their children. “I love to see you get down on the floor to play with the kids,” one of my adult children said. 

    You may think an infant is not ready to play yet. But you can sing to them; let them see the joy of the Lord in you. Play hand games where you can hold their hands in yours. Read books to them. Even when they are very young, they can enjoy just sitting in your lap. When they lay on a blanket for “tummy time,” join them and let them look into your eyes while you are together on the blanket.

    Toddlers enjoy playing ball, building with blocks, and learning to color – all things you can do with them. This is a good time to teach them to put away what they pull out to play. If you start early, the cleaning up just becomes part of the play session.

    Since my grandchildren were young, we have had a running card game, so they are always ready to play when they come to my house. The sad thing is that as I have taught them, they have become much better players than me and can quickly beat me in a game of “Spit,” “War,” “Crazy Eights,” and more. They also like board games now that they are older, which is fun and educational!

    3. Support your grandchild. As your grandchildren grow, they need your support in everything they do. As they grow, there will be kindergarten graduations, soccer games, many sports events, music recitals, and so much more. Attend everything you can so the child feels your support and love. If you are not able to attend, ask for videos.

    4. Support the new parents. New parents have many questions. When they ask a question, give them the best answer you can. It’s best not to offer advice but to wait until it is requested. It will be received better.

    Offer to babysit so they can have a “date night” or go to a Bible study. If they don’t feel comfortable going out, bring them a gift card for dinner to be delivered and a rental movie so they can have time together. When the baby is older, they will become more comfortable leaving them with you for longer periods.

    5. If you have a few hours, stop by your new parents’ home and offer to watch the baby while Mom takes a nap or goes out for coffee with a friend. If you feel like you can, offer to babysit for short periods of time while Mom does errands. Most of the time, the new moms in our family opt for the nap!

    6. Continually rejoice with the new parents over the precious gift from God they have been given. Compliment their efforts to be good parents. Brag on your grandchild to the parents and congratulate them for doing such a good job.

    7. As the children get older, invite them to go out to supper with you or get ice cream. This will give parents a short break to regroup or get a chore done they have been wanting to accomplish.

    8. Always keep their favorite snacks on hand (or the ingredients to make them). Two of our granddaughters always came through our door, and the first words they spoke were, “Can I have a “gilled” cheese?” I have actually taken foil-wrapped grilled cheese sandwiches to swim meets and other sporting events!

    If You Don’t Live Close By

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Prostock-Studio

    When grandchildren live across the country or the ocean, grandparents can find it challenging to grow their relationships. Thanks to technology, it’s easier than ever to get to know your grandchildren no matter where you live.

    9. If you have a computer, you probably have access to Zoom, which is a great way not only to hear their voices but to see them on the screen, and they can see you as well. They can tell you their news, and you can hear the growing maturity in their voices. Also, they can listen to you tell family stories of your family’s history and be proud of the family God has given them.

    10. When you call your grandchildren, you can also use Facetime on your phone or computer and have the same result as Zoom. Some families set up a weekly time to talk with their grandchildren. This is especially effective if your grandchildren are infants or toddlers.

    Nana and Pop Pop are the grandparents of four boys. They have a standing Sunday night dinner “date” with their grandchildren. They watch them eat and sometimes eat their dinner at the same time. This practice allows them to see what their grandchildren like to eat and to participate in dinner table conversation. Once they get to preschool, they have lots to tell you and show you but often have a limit to the amount of time they want to sit and chat! It is also important for the new grandchild to see your face, especially when you live far away. That way, when you are together, they immediately recognize you.

    11. These days, almost everyone has a computer. Computer games are plentiful; you can keep a running computer game with your grandchild, bringing you together and establishing a relationship. Plan an old-fashioned game of computer bingo. Grandpa can be the caller. Send everyone a bingo card by email. Offer prizes.

    12. While your grandchild is young, you can hold up flashcards of family, objects, and food items and cheer loudly when they get them right.            

    13. Have a fashion show. Let folks know in plenty of time what the theme will be. (Around elections, it can be patriotic, near a holiday, make that the theme, if it is someone’s birthday, dress in something they would like.)

    14. Send some things the old-fashioned way – in the mail. It is a real thrill for the grandchildren to go to the mailbox and find a package or letter with their name on it. Holidays are an especially good time to do this. Learn what their favorite snacks are and include a few of them.

    15. Set up a photo-sharing program with your family. Children can easily share pictures of the grandchildren

    Whether you live next door or thousands of miles away from your grandchildren, being a grandparent will quickly change your perspective on life. You will feel it is more fun to skip bridge club and babysit rather than the other way around. You’d rather go to the children’s museum with the grandchildren than out to lunch with your cronies. But most of all, you will see glimpses of our Heavenly Father every time you are with grandchildren. You may hear words from God, feel His presence through a hug or touch, or see the reflection of the Father’s love in a smile or big blue eyes.

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/monkeybusinessimages

    Stock footage Soundstripe.com & Photo Canva.com

    Linda Gilden is an award-winning writer, speaker, editor, certified writing and speaking coach, and personality consultant. Her passion is helping others discover the joy of writing and learn to use their writing to make a difference. Linda recently released Articles, Articles, Articles! and is the author of over a thousand magazine articles and 19 books including the new Quick Guides for Personalities. She loves every opportunity to share her testimony, especially through her writing. Linda’s favorite activity (other than eating folded potato chips) is floating in a pool with a good book surrounded by splashing grandchildren—a great source of writing material!

    LISTEN: Let Our Bible Study Expert Help You Start the New Year Right!

    Have you ever chosen a word for the year? Whether you pick a word each year or never have before, I think this episode will help you order your life in the year to come. If you don’t know what your word is, today might be a great day for you to hear some of the things that we are promised in Christ that you in faith can claim for yourself for 2024. Keep in mind, each of these words requires faith.

    The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Salem Web Network and Salem Media Group.

    WATCH: 5 Verses on Strength for When You Feel Weak

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    The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Salem Web Network and Salem Media Group.

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    Read the full article, 10 Things Grandchildren Need to Hear.

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  • Hearts 3-2 Dundee | Scottish Premiership Highlights

    Hearts 3-2 Dundee | Scottish Premiership Highlights

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    Highlights from the Scottish Premiership match between Hearts and Dundee.

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  • Love Is Easier on Paper

    Love Is Easier on Paper

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    Our women’s group decided to pick a book on love for our Bible study, but what we thought would be very easy for us to breeze through turned out to be a challenge and required a lot of soul-searching. 

    We discussed love in action and our examples mostly centered on marriage and family relationships. Not one of us cringed at the thought of serving our families. We cleaned our homes, cooked meals, supervised the kids in their homework, and watched their games until we all became empty nesters. We talked about how we show patience towards our husbands and our children, how we give counsel, and constantly extend forgiveness and overlook hurt feelings. 

    All those things seemed to fall within the confines of how God shows His love for us. We know He takes pleasure in taking care of our needs. We know He warns and protects us from danger, even from our own foolishness, so we don’t get hurt. We know He graciously forgives our sins—and this part we like the most!

    But the nitty-gritty of love started to get harder with Jesus’ new command. He said, “Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:34-35). Before Jesus spoke of the new command, He just washed and dried their feet and talked about servanthood. Jesus, their Lord and Teacher, did not hesitate to do this lowly task. Even Peter was hesitant to have Jesus wash his feet. 

    Jesus also talked about a betrayer, someone sitting at their table. They were surprised but didn’t really understand how one of them could be spoken as such. They lived together and did everything together for the last three years. They were tied to the hip! How can Jesus speak of such a person? 

    Jesus never pointed a finger at Judas and gave him a scolding. Instead, He said to all of them, including Judas, that “this fulfills the Scripture that says, ‘The one who eats my food has turned against me’” (v. 18). He knew this was going to happen; yet He did not withhold the Word of God from and sharing meals with Judas. Even when Jesus saw Judas standing with the Roman soldiers and Temple guards to arrest Him, He didn’t say anything to Judas to guilt trip him. He continued to love him.

    Love Is an Example

    Love is easier on paper! But Jesus said to “prove to the world that [we] are [His] disciples” (John 13:35). First, we’re encouraged to reach out and welcome our brothers and sisters in Christ…quirks and all! The Apostle Paul said, “Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory” (Romans 15:7). Think of the “noisy, attention-seeking” member of your church. The woman who “loves to hear her voice” at gatherings. The “righteous one” who sits in the corner because there is dancing. Paul would not have addressed the loving acceptance of fellow believers and reminded us how Jesus accepted each one of us if this wasn’t an issue.

    Love Is a Refusal to Abuse and Manipulate

    Second, we must “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). What was happening among the Ephesian believers then is still happening today. Preceding that forgiveness reminder, Paul said, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (v. 31). How did we turn into emotional abusers and torturers? Where is the joy in lying about someone and desiring to destroy that person? How did we become so angry and bitter at someone, at life, that we cannot see the beauty in anything? And we all claim to love Jesus yet walk around as emotional and psychological manipulators!    

    Love Is a Reconciliation

    Third, we are told to reconcile with one another. We got stumped with this instruction again. How do we restore a relationship with someone who does not want it? What if it’s you who does not want to be in a relationship with someone again? It doesn’t matter what you want or what the other wants! Jesus said, “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment… Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:22-24). 

    Think of the number of times you exchanged heated words with your spouse or your child while you were preparing for church. You all got in the car, but everyone was avoiding looking into each other’s eyes, and some were seething with anger. The tension was so thick. Were you really prepared to worship and listen to the Word of God? 

    Fourth, we are to remember that we are one, a community, the fellowship of Christ. Paul reminded us that believers in Christ should put away falsehood and should be able to “speak the truth” with one another (Ephesians 4:25). He went on to say, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as first the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (v. 29). We sometimes say we have forgiven but won’t let go of the pain. In our still-desperate state of clinging to self-preservation, we continue to practice self-righteousness and restart the cycle of tearing up the person we claim to have forgiven. We lie again to protect ourselves. And in so doing, we say words that disrespect the other, hoping to lift our own honor. Remember that God knows and sees our hearts and He hears every word we say. He is our judge!

    Knowing that God pursues us with His everlasting love should encourage us to love others well. He has given us every single spiritual tool we need to make it happen, including sending His Son to teach and model love for us. Yes, everything is possible with Christ. 

    Yes, love is easier on paper… only if left to us.

    Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/john_jennings

    Luisa Collopy is an author, speaker and a women’s Bible study teacher. She also produces Mula sa Puso (From the Heart) in Tagalog (her heart language), released on FEBC Philippines stations. Luisa loves spending time with her family over meals and karaoke!

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