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Tag: authenticity

  • How to Build a Radically Authentic Personal Brand

    How to Build a Radically Authentic Personal Brand

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Fake it till you make it? Terrible advice when it comes to building your personal brand!

    There is a misconception that personal branding is all about crafting a curated image of ourselves, and it is a misconception that needs to be passionately refuted. So many clients come to us asking for exactly that, only to find out that our core value at Brand of a Leader is: radical authenticity. We believe in the undeniable power that stems from embracing your individuality, whatever it may be, instead of trying to channel a disconnected-from-reality image of yourself.

    This misconception is certainly not unfounded. When we think of social media, we think of filters, facades and exercises in image crafting. This is indeed all part of the Instagram “lifestyle influencer culture.” Yet, to us as thought or opinion leaders, it must bear no relevance whatsoever. Let me prove this to you. Think of a business leader, entrepreneur or politician you love or loathe. Really think of them. What is the one thing they have in common? I would argue that they are all — for better or for worse — unapologetically real.

    Related: 5 Ways to Build a Powerful Personal Brand

    The ROI of authenticity is undeniable: authenticity implies being honest about our values, our beliefs and our actions. In turn, this builds trust, which is a core priority of all inspiring leaders. A 2020 survey by Salesforce found that 92% of customers consider trust to be the single most important factor when deciding whether to do business with a company, echoing the 2019 study by Accenture that found that 81% of consumers would switch to a more trustworthy brand. And yet, trust in CEOs is at an all-time low, with a 2020 Edelman Trust Barometer study indicating that only 37% of people trust their CEOs to do what is right (a drop from 49% the year prior!) and a 2020 PwC study showing CEO distrust among 63% of respondents. Shocking numbers — but an opportunity for us as founder CEOs to build trust vis-à-vis our radically authentic brands.

    This should also come as welcome news to introverted leaders. I work with many introverts who hesitate about building a personal brand because they fear being molded into a louder version of themselves, incongruent with reality. I debunk the myth of having to be an extrovert in order to build a personal brand in my previous article.

    So, how do we do it? How do we build a radically authentic personal brand? Let me share with you the five-step process:

    Step 1: Self-awareness

    Go through a process of deep discovery to understand who you really are. We cannot be deeply authentic without developing deep self-awareness first. At Brand of a Leader, we take clients through a journey of introspection that has them reflect on their entire life journey and all of its most significant moments, starting in childhood.

    Step 2: Define your values

    Knowing our core values is a crucial step, and I talk about the process of uncovering them here. A radically authentic brand is rooted in clearly stated, unapologetic and crystal-clear core values. Some people build their brand positioning entirely around a compelling core value, often something that aligns with their life’s mission. Even if that is not the route you take, getting crystal clear on your values and incorporating them into your content (bio, social media content, thought leadership pieces, and so forth) will allow you to attract like-minded people on the basis of shared values.

    Related: Why Authenticity Is a Key Ingredient to Entrepreneurial Success, and How to Make Sure You Have It

    Step 3: Get feedback

    Validate your core values and the key components of your radically authentic personal brand with those who know you the best. It can be daunting to get radically authentic feedback, but it is immensely helpful. Want it to get truly real? Ask people to submit their replies anonymously. Use a free online survey tool; punch in the questions, and share the link with your network. When people don’t fear hurting our feelings and are able to express themselves freely, the level of honesty tends to follow. And yes, feedback can sometimes hurt, but it is a price worth paying for insight and clarity.

    Step 4: Self-acceptance

    In the words of the wildly inspiring Brene Brown, “authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” A daily practice. Drown out the external noise, what your business dictates your brand should be, the market gaps you observe and what works or doesn’t work for someone else. Embracing who we truly are at this exact moment is not only liberating but also imperative on the journey of building a radically authentic brand.

    Step 5: The right platforms

    When the brand is clear, the next step is to market it. I often see people looking at others and emulating their marketing plans. Instead, I recommend that you choose the platform(s) that feel the most authentic to you: If everybody else is taking TikTok by storm, and yet you feel like a complete phony when you are on it, then it is not the right marketing vehicle for you. If the world is telling you that long-form writing is dead, and yet you feel the most “yourself” when you express yourself through an artfully woven-together net of words, then drown out the noise and dominate a blogging platform.

    One of the biggest fears we have about being radically authentic is that we will be disliked, judged or receive hatred online. And this is true — deeply authentic brands are meant to repel the misaligned. And yet, they are also wired to magnetically attract a deeply loyal and connected following. This translates into raving fans, among employees, customers and those we end up inspiring along the way.

    Related: The Most Powerful Thing You Can Do Is Be Yourself

    In conclusion, personal branding is not about creating a curated image of yourself, but about embracing your individuality and being unapologetically authentic. Trust is a crucial priority for all inspiring leaders, and authenticity is the key to building trust. By following the five-step journey of building a radically authentic brand, you can attract like-minded people and build trust with your customers. As the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson state, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” So, don’t fake it till you make it — be true to yourself, and watch your brand shine brighter than the sun.

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    Marina Byezhanova

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  • Long-Term Success and Quality Leadership Hinge on Authenticity

    Long-Term Success and Quality Leadership Hinge on Authenticity

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    To say that we have collectively experienced massive turmoil and upheaval since 2020 first arrived would be an understatement of the highest measure. Lessons learned from the pandemic, and the roller coaster that it was in our personal and professional lives, highlight the critical nature of genuine, steadfast leadership.

    When challenging and chaotic times occur, emotionally intelligent leadership is essential to ensure safe passage across choppy seas. This critical nature of a steady hand at the helm rings true for small businesses and large corporations alike. While the scale may differ, the core element remains the same: people.

    Long-term, quality leadership hinges on the ability to keep the humanity of business a central component of all operations.

    Related: How You Can Build a More People-Centric Workplace

    Humanity drives business

    Every aspect of the business and customer relationship, whether directly or indirectly, impacts individuals. It’s important to step back from the point of sale or moment of service and see the layers of men and women connected to those single moments.

    1. The consumer who is due quality products and service.
    2. Shareholders expecting profitable — and sustainable — results
    3. Senior leadership tasked with guiding the bigger picture
    4. Team or departmental heads charged with implementing the vision
    5. Every employee in their ranks, inspired to take on the challenge
    6. The family and social connections every individual represents

    When running a business, it’s natural to zero in on the transactional moments that represent the viability of our business or brand. Quality leadership remembers the bigger picture and what it takes to get there, to that moment when the product or service is fulfilled.

    Amplify this process fivefold, tenfold or a thousandfold and that one thing remains: the humanity of it.

    Related: 5 Ways Emotional Intelligence Will Make You a Better Leader

    Employees deserve authentic respect in challenging times

    In business, challenging seasons are inevitable; there is no avoiding that reality. And while the size and scope of the issue will vary in correlation to an organization’s size, the experience is felt the same for every employee.

    A company may have hundreds or thousands of employees; a small business may have a baker’s dozen. Regardless, the workforce encompasses men and women who deserve leadership anchored with authentic respect.

    Authentic respect as a leader is defined by the simple truth that we are all in this together. Small business leaders may experience this reality in a more tangible way, as the natural divide between employee and employer logically expands with every stage of company growth.

    When operating with authentic respect, leaders navigating challenging seasons choose transparency over opaqueness, with intentional communication and connectedness driving adaptive, creative problem-solving.

    Related: 7 Ways to Stay Resilient in Uncertain Times

    Avoiding empathy just for empathy’s sake

    Any business leader striving to guide their company through an arduous period may be tempted to dive into the deep end of empathetic and intentional support without having earned it or knowing how to achieve it effectively.

    Employees are instinctively aware of inauthentic support done seemingly for show and little else. If clumsily attempted, well-intended measures of communicating care and fueling connection can prove ill-fated and counterproductive. Forced efforts exacerbated by poor research or being rushed into action can derail positive momentum.

    Amidst tumultuous times, one-on-ones with employees and regular, alternating team and departmental meetings can be an excellent means to retain awareness and understanding. The larger the company, the more complex the system may be to ensure every individual receives proper care and support.

    Conversely, scheduling one-on-ones or more frequent team meetings and having no game plan for effectively utilizing the time can drain away the impact of a well-intentioned check-in.

    Perhaps your game plan is to listen if an employee or team member needs to vent about the stresses and challenges they’re experiencing. Having an awareness of your goals with any effort is essential to ensuring a positive, sustained impact on employee and company morale.

    Related: Inspire Loyalty With Your Leadership: Here’s How

    Leading with assured authenticity, transparency and vision

    Nothing in business is accomplished without the individuals making it happen, the men and women who are the lifeblood of a company. Any leadership position is a privilege; it’s an opportunity to guide career paths and company trajectories. An awareness of this foundational truth is crucial to tamping down any potential for overly inflated egos that can derail leadership development.

    Leading during challenging times is a wholly different level of challenge and reward. It requires higher levels of flexibility and creativity, demands authentic interpersonal skills fueled by empathy and necessitates open and active communication channels.

    Your employees will look to you as their leader to provide clarity and confidence. You may not have all the answers, and your vision for the path forward may be a work in progress. If confidently communicated on wheels of authenticity and transparency, the light at the end of the tunnel will be all the brighter.

    Related: Power With Purpose: The Four Pillars of Leadership

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    Summit Ghimire

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  • Stand Out With Confidence and Achieve Your True Potential With This Mindset

    Stand Out With Confidence and Achieve Your True Potential With This Mindset

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Let’s face it. It’s not always easy to stand out, go against the grain or make a bold statement. It can feel easier to go with the flow than to swim against the current. When you step out, you can be seen and can feel uncomfortable. People might label you, point fingers and even judge you. You might even fear failing, and rightfully so because having anyone see you fail is terrifying. The horror of being in the spotlight keeps many people from ever stepping out and being true to their beliefs, opinions, and themselves. Fear keeps transformative thoughts and ideas buried, often resurfacing later in life when people ask themselves, “what if?”

    What if I had stood up for what I wanted? What if I had taken that risk? What if I had raised my hand and spoken my truth…. would my life have been different? Could I have made a difference? Would I have been happier?

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    Jen Sugermeyer

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  • Two Ways to Boost the Emotional Safety in Your Relationship | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    Two Ways to Boost the Emotional Safety in Your Relationship | LoveAndLifeToolBox

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    Emotional safety is one of the most important elements of any happy and healthy relationship.  Yet there are so many ways it can be compromised.  Sometimes it happens inadvertently and other times it’s a more direct assault on the foundation of the relationship.

    When a couple has a high level of emotional safety they usually have a number of things going for them simultaneously; they feel heard, understood, feel prioritized and trust each other.  They ultimately feel deeply loved, secure in the sense that they are there for each other through the twist and turns of life.  And they ideally feel relaxed in a way that they can live with authenticity together rather be someone other than who they are.

    The more challenged couples with a lack of emotional safety demonstrate their distress in many ways that ultimately can lead to a slowly eroding relationship foundation and disconnection.  The longer the issues go unaddressed, the more difficult it can be to create the needed safety to reconnect, chronic tension and resentment having built up.

    The reasons why people are challenged establishing emotional safety together are many and unique to their experiences.  It’s a complex topic that requires a willingness to look in the mirror a bit.  And it becomes more complicated when you factor in different levels of awareness people have and their general interest in making changes in themselves.  But if you are in a relationship where you both are invested in improving the emotional safety, you can.

    Two ways to improve the emotional safety in your relationship:

    1 -> Talk to each other.

    Without communication, there is no starting point to figuring out where the relationship is going awry.  As obvious as this may sound, many couples don’t talk.  There are a lot of reasons for this including conflict avoidant tendencies (sweeping things under the rug to avoid a fight or difficult conversations), fear of trying to talk with a history of communication not going well and ending in conflict with no solution, one or both in the relationship has gone even further down the line and essentially given up on talking.  This is more of a position of hopelessness as in, “There’s no point.”

    While all relationships are different and each one has its own ups and downs, being able to talk to your partner means that you’ll be able to share your worries, show support for one another, and work together to handle conflict more effectively.

    from How to Improve the Communication in Your Relationships via VeryWellMind.com

    As important as the ability to talk to your partner is as it relates to emotional safety, it is not a stand alone.  There are different aspects of communication that requires the collaboration of both parties.

    2 -> Listen well.

    Often easier said than done, listening well is just as important as being able to talk to your partner.  One of the fundamental aspects of  emotionally safety in intimate relationships is feeling heard.  One step beyond that is feeling understood.  Both of these are not possible if you’re not listening well in the first place.

    Listening sometimes requires a deep breath and pause while your partner speaks.  This helps to slow down what can be an intense need to get your opinion or viewpoint across.  This is especially true when the conversation has escalated and one or both are emotionally activated.

    ~~

    An ability or willingness to talk and listen are two critical aspects of the groundwork needed to build the emotional safety in your relationship.  If you are willing to engage and try to express your thoughts and especially hurt feelings, you’re on your way.

    But things can get complicated if there are valid reasons why there is pain around talking at all.  Unresolved family of origin issues for one or both partners that neither know how to address, or might not even have awareness around.  Affairs or other betrayals can make communication very difficult as well.  But sometimes it’s simply a matter of identifying problematic behaviors within the relationship and making some changes like more kindness, respect, openness and overall reliability.

    A lack of emotional safety is dangerous, creating vulnerabilities for the couple that can spread like a relationship cancer.  Whether it was lacking from the start or you lost it along the way, the good news is it can be newly created or found again, with willingness and effort by both partners.

    2

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    Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

    Source link

  • Two Ways to Boost the Emotional Safety in Your Relationship | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    Two Ways to Boost the Emotional Safety in Your Relationship | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    [ad_1]

    Emotional safety is one of the most important elements of any happy and healthy relationship.  Yet there are so many ways it can be compromised.  Sometimes it happens inadvertently and other times it’s a more direct assault on the foundation of the relationship.

    When a couple has a high level of emotional safety they usually have a number of things going for them simultaneously; they feel heard, understood, feel prioritized and trust each other.  They ultimately feel deeply loved, secure in the sense that they are there for each other through the twist and turns of life.  And they ideally feel relaxed in a way that they can live with authenticity together rather be someone other than who they are.

    The more challenged couples with a lack of emotional safety demonstrate their distress in many ways that ultimately can lead to a slowly eroding relationship foundation and disconnection.  The longer the issues go unaddressed, the more difficult it can be to create the needed safety to reconnect, chronic tension and resentment having built up.

    The reasons why people are challenged establishing emotional safety together are many and unique to their experiences.  It’s a complex topic that requires a willingness to look in the mirror a bit.  And it becomes more complicated when you factor in different levels of awareness people have and their general interest in making changes in themselves.  But if you are in a relationship where you both are invested in improving the emotional safety, you can.

    Two ways to improve the emotional safety in your relationship:

    1 -> Talk to each other.

    Without communication, there is no starting point to figuring out where the relationship is going awry.  As obvious as this may sound, many couples don’t talk.  There are a lot of reasons for this including conflict avoidant tendencies (sweeping things under the rug to avoid a fight or difficult conversations), fear of trying to talk with a history of communication not going well and ending in conflict with no solution, one or both in the relationship has gone even further down the line and essentially given up on talking.  This is more of a position of hopelessness as in, “There’s no point.”

    While all relationships are different and each one has its own ups and downs, being able to talk to your partner means that you’ll be able to share your worries, show support for one another, and work together to handle conflict more effectively.

    from How to Improve the Communication in Your Relationships via VeryWellMind.com

    As important as the ability to talk to your partner is as it relates to emotional safety, it is not a stand alone.  There are different aspects of communication that requires the collaboration of both parties.

    2 -> Listen well.

    Often easier said than done, listening well is just as important as being able to talk to your partner.  One of the fundamental aspects of  emotionally safety in intimate relationships is feeling heard.  One step beyond that is feeling understood.  Both of these are not possible if you’re not listening well in the first place.

    Listening sometimes requires a deep breath and pause while your partner speaks.  This helps to slow down what can be an intense need to get your opinion or viewpoint across.  This is especially true when the conversation has escalated and one or both are emotionally activated.

    ~~

    An ability or willingness to talk and listen are two critical aspects of the groundwork needed to build the emotional safety in your relationship.  If you are willing to engage and try to express your thoughts and especially hurt feelings, you’re on your way.

    But things can get complicated if there are valid reasons why there is pain around talking at all.  Unresolved family of origin issues for one or both partners that neither know how to address, or might not even have awareness around.  Affairs or other betrayals can make communication very difficult as well.  But sometimes it’s simply a matter of identifying problematic behaviors within the relationship and making some changes like more kindness, respect, openness and overall reliability.

    A lack of emotional safety is dangerous, creating vulnerabilities for the couple that can spread like a relationship cancer.  Whether it was lacking from the start or you lost it along the way, the good news is it can be newly created or found again, with willingness and effort by both partners.

    2

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    Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

    Source link

  • How to Reset, Renew and Find Yourself | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    How to Reset, Renew and Find Yourself | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    [ad_1]

    A lot has happened societally over the last several years.  People have had to wrestle with numerous challenges and adapt.  And still now many are contemplating where we are and what it means moving forward.  When there is a lot of change, challenge and angst, it’s normal to be introspective around how you fit in.  It can also be a silver lining moment to be unexpectedly led to consider the things that would create a chance for more personal happiness and life satisfaction.

    What’s important?

    What’s not?

    Who is important?

    Who is emotionally draining?

    Who are your people?

    What and who deserves your sacred time?

    How do you want to be?

    What no longer serves you?

    It may seem like a lot to think about and in many ways it is but if you find yourself feeling internally led to change, there’s probably good reason for it.  Perhaps there is space opening for you to go deeper within, to understand who you are, what really matters and make adjustments.

    If you are ready for a reset or renewal here are some steps.

    Notice.  Pay attention to your thoughts and emotional response to your environment, the people around you and what brings you joy.  Take note of things that don’t feel in alignment.  Highlight the things that do or even things you’d like to have or do in your life.

    The act of “noticing” is not not natural to all but it can be a developed skill.  When you notice, there is more space for awareness, curiosity and presence.  It also is a seed for change.

    Ponder.  When you make time to reflect and be curious, you set the stage for living with more authenticity in relationships (and with self),  with intention and in alignment with you.  Many actually live in other spaces; in their automatic reactions without thoughtfulness, in a lack of awareness of what they want, need or their impact on others.  And some don’t fully connect the dots if they are in spaces that aren’t ultimately serving them well.

    The ability to ponder on all of these things further expands the potential for shifts.

    Lean in to change.  When you’re clear that you need a reset, the next step is to start practicing doing things differently.  This could mean a million different things for people but this could include more often saying “no” when you feel “no,” sleeping more if you need it, less alcohol if you want to move away from a drinking lifestyle, putting more energy into higher quality connections…and less to relationships that feel empty or unsatisfying.

    Making changes can be met with resistance by others who may be invested in seeing you the same way, for whatever reason.  Stay the course, especially if your changes are not harmful to others.  If you don’t value and respect your inner wisdom, who will?

    Let go of guilt and shame.  Whether or not people respond negatively to your growth, your job is to address any inappropriate guilt or shame around your journey to find yourself.  Let go of any false beliefs around how you’re “supposed” to be (likely starting from your family of origin experiences).

    Prior experiences drive much of human behavior so it’s important to get clear on what shaped you; what has served you well and what has not.  You can change direction at any time in your life.

    Check in with yourself.  As you’re doing the work of getting into deeper touch with who you are and how you want to be in this world, periodically ask yourself how it feels.  Do you notice more joy?  Do you care less about what others think about how you’ve changed?  As you make more authentic and valuable connections with people, you will find this is not an issue.

    Remember this: You are a work in progress.

    Subtle indicators of internal distress can become a louder voice prompting you to be in better alignment with your true self.  The more you can embrace these moments and respond accordingly, the more authenticity and inner peace you will find, allowing you to find others who are in a similar place.  They are out there.

    How do researchers define authenticity?

    According to the piece, Authenticity, on PsychologyToday.com, there are four attributes:
    1. Self-awareness: Knowledge of and trust in one’s own motives, emotions, preferences, and abilities.
    2. Unbiased processing: Clarity in evaluating your strengths and your weaknesses without denial or blame.
    3. Behavior: Acting in ways congruent with your own values and needs, even at the risk of criticism or rejection.
    4. Relational orientation: Close relationships, which inherently require openness and honesty.

    And even if you remain connected with people in your life who appear less interested in this path, you can still meet them where they are, as you wish.  Perhaps it will be with less emotional attachment and understanding that they are doing what is comfortable for them and if/when they feel differently, perhaps they will go on a similar journey.  Or not.

    There are many reasons that people choose to live with less connection to their authentic selves.  And they may even appear to be less interested in connecting authentically with others.  But, their journey is theirs.

    If something feels off for you internally and you are feeling intuitive encouragement to change, listen!  YOU are the most important expert on YOU.  Perhaps your authentic self is trying to get your attention, for good reason.

    2

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    Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

    Source link

  • How to Reset, Renew and Find Yourself | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    How to Reset, Renew and Find Yourself | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    [ad_1]

    A lot has happened societally over the last several years.  People have had to wrestle with numerous challenges and adapt.  And still now many are contemplating where we are and what it means moving forward.  When there is a lot of change, challenge and angst, it’s normal to be introspective around how you fit in.  It can also be a silver lining moment to be unexpectedly led to consider the things that would create a chance for more personal happiness and life satisfaction.

    What’s important?

    What’s not?

    Who is important?

    Who is emotionally draining?

    Who are your people?

    What and who deserves your sacred time?

    How do you want to be?

    What no longer serves you?

    It may seem like a lot to think about and in many ways it is but if you find yourself feeling internally led to change, there’s probably good reason for it.  Perhaps there is space opening for you to go deeper within, to understand who you are, what really matters and make adjustments.

    If you are ready for a reset or renewal here are some steps.

    Notice.  Pay attention to your thoughts and emotional response to your environment, the people around you and what brings you joy.  Take note of things that don’t feel in alignment.  Highlight the things that do or even things you’d like to have or do in your life.

    The act of “noticing” is not not natural to all but it can be a developed skill.  When you notice, there is more space for awareness, curiosity and presence.  It also is a seed for change.

    Ponder.  When you make time to reflect and be curious, you set the stage for living with more authenticity in relationships (and with self),  with intention and in alignment with you.  Many actually live in other spaces; in their automatic reactions without thoughtfulness, in a lack of awareness of what they want, need or their impact on others.  And some don’t fully connect the dots if they are in spaces that aren’t ultimately serving them well.

    The ability to ponder on all of these things further expands the potential for shifts.

    Lean in to change.  When you’re clear that you need a reset, the next step is to start practicing doing things differently.  This could mean a million different things for people but this could include more often saying “no” when you feel “no,” sleeping more if you need it, less alcohol if you want to move away from a drinking lifestyle, putting more energy into higher quality connections…and less to relationships that feel empty or unsatisfying.

    Making changes can be met with resistance by others who may be invested in seeing you the same way, for whatever reason.  Stay the course, especially if your changes are not harmful to others.  If you don’t value and respect your inner wisdom, who will?

    Let go of guilt and shame.  Whether or not people respond negatively to your growth, your job is to address any inappropriate guilt or shame around your journey to find yourself.  Let go of any false beliefs around how you’re “supposed” to be (likely starting from your family of origin experiences).

    Prior experiences drive much of human behavior so it’s important to get clear on what shaped you; what has served you well and what has not.  You can change direction at any time in your life.

    Check in with yourself.  As you’re doing the work of getting into deeper touch with who you are and how you want to be in this world, periodically ask yourself how it feels.  Do you notice more joy?  Do you care less about what others think about how you’ve changed?  As you make more authentic and valuable connections with people, you will find this is not an issue.

    Remember this: You are a work in progress.

    Subtle indicators of internal distress can become a louder voice prompting you to be in better alignment with your true self.  The more you can embrace these moments and respond accordingly, the more authenticity and inner peace you will find, allowing you to find others who are in a similar place.  They are out there.

    How do researchers define authenticity?

    According to the piece, Authenticity, on PsychologyToday.com, there are four attributes:
    1. Self-awareness: Knowledge of and trust in one’s own motives, emotions, preferences, and abilities.
    2. Unbiased processing: Clarity in evaluating your strengths and your weaknesses without denial or blame.
    3. Behavior: Acting in ways congruent with your own values and needs, even at the risk of criticism or rejection.
    4. Relational orientation: Close relationships, which inherently require openness and honesty.

    And even if you remain connected with people in your life who appear less interested in this path, you can still meet them where they are, as you wish.  Perhaps it will be with less emotional attachment and understanding that they are doing what is comfortable for them and if/when they feel differently, perhaps they will go on a similar journey.  Or not.

    There are many reasons that people choose to live with less connection to their authentic selves.  And they may even appear to be less interested in connecting authentically with others.  But, their journey is theirs.

    If something feels off for you internally and you are feeling intuitive encouragement to change, listen!  YOU are the most important expert on YOU.  Perhaps your authentic self is trying to get your attention, for good reason.

    2

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    Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

    Source link

  • Happiness: Questions to Ask Yourself…and a Caveat | LoveAndLifeToolBox

    Happiness: Questions to Ask Yourself…and a Caveat | LoveAndLifeToolBox

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    Who doesn’t want to be happy?  With much of your happiness in your control (40% says Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD), you are more empowered than you think to make legitimate changes to your emotional health.  Some of the skills you can learn to do involve brain training where the more you practice certain habits, the more automatic they will become. Because there is no “one-size-fits-all” formula for happiness, try what feels right and doable for you.

    Not as happy as you’d like to be?  Consider the following:

    Are you social?

    Being connected to others allows for emotional resourcing and support.  We are wired to connect and seek security in important relationships starting from infancy and throughout our lives.  Research shows that, “social environment may contribute to rates of cellular aging, particularly in late life.”  So it appears as though being social can literally slow down your biological age.

    Consider putting effort into developing and maintaining important relationships (family, friends, intimate partnerships).  Even if you consider yourself more introverted, you can still benefit from these types of interactions.  Humans are born wired to connect with each other rather than be isolated.

    If you haven’t spoken to a good friend in a long time, send them a text.  Carve out one-on-one time with a family member.  If your marriage has been struggling, prioritize working on it.

    Do you feel good about yourself?

    Questions about your inherent value often come from unresolved earlier wounds around challenging relational experiences.  How you feel about yourself can impact your other relationships, especially the more intimate ones where there is more emotionally at stake.

    If you generally believe you are a good person with value, you have a more solid foundation in which developing happiness can be cultivated.  But if your history is painful or you have family of origin wounds, do some personal work.  Consider getting help unpacking painful experiences creating obstacles to a more secure sense of self via therapy or other supportive tools.

    Are you able to manage your emotions?  

    The ability to stay emotionally regulated allows for more appropriate reactions to situations and less internal distress.  Those who struggle with emotional reactivity can have a strong negativity bias and carry shame about themselves, both potential blocks to happiness.

    Consider educating yourself about resilience (how to more effectively bounce back) which can improve your emotional regulation skills.

    Do you meditate?

    Stress can be another obstacle for happiness.  To combat future worry (anxiety), it’s useful to learn to be in the moment, to drop into “the now” when needed.  Meditation via focused breath work can help keep the stress hormone cortisol at bay.

    Consider learning how to meditate (in whatever form you choose).  Even other brief mindfulness practices like stopping to notice things around you for a moment can encourage a similar benefit.

    Are you optimistic?

    People with positive outlooks are not only happier but healthier.  A Harvard study showed that a positive outlook on life can actually protect against heart disease.

    Consider spending more time with optimistic people.  If your glass tends to be “half empty,” acting as if it’s full can be a good way to start.  Spending time with positive people can also help because of the emotional contagion effect.

    If you have as strong negativity bias and it’s difficult to stay positive, this might be another good reason to peek into your past to understand why this is and make changes.

    Do you take in the good?

    Strongly connected with developing optimism is noticing when the good when it’s in front of you. But it doesn’t end there.  Let the experience sink into your awareness for at least 30 seconds so it can register in your implicit memory. According to Linda Graham, MFT, “When we intentionally take in the good we are building resources in our neural circuitry to act as a buffer against stress…”

    Consider seeking out positive experiences in which to savor.  This can be a beautiful tree you’ve never noticed in your neighborhood, a pleasant interaction with someone in a grocery line or being grateful for a favor that was done for you.

    Do you live authentically?  

    Authenticity is often linked to a sense of well-being and is an important aspect of emotional health.  It’s so much easier for your inner world to be in alignment with your outward presentation.  In fact, living inauthentically can cause stress in the amount of work required to keep up a social mask.  There’s a freedom in the ability to be yourself.

    Consider learning how to be more honest with yourself and in how you show up in the world.  If there is a disconnect between your inner and outer worlds or you’re unclear of what authenticity even means for you, seek to understand this better via therapy or other helping modality.

    Are you grateful?  

    Robert Emmons, PhD has done extensive research on the power of gratitude to feel more alert, sleep better, deflect from stress, worry, regret, hostility and resentment. Being grateful can also improve self-worth and help you experience more positive emotions.

    Consider starting a gratitude practice.  One way to do that is keeping a daily gratitude journal, noting three things a day, no matter how seemingly mundane.

    —

    In your quest for more happiness, pick a few of the above that resonate and try them out.  Then over time add a few more into the mix.  Sometimes creating new habits can be a challenge but if you stick with it, the payoff can be well worth it.  If happiness has been elusive for you, therapy is a good tool to help you understand the underpinnings of why and support you in making changes.  If you aren’t quite ready for therapy, I offer a guide to do some self-exploration, Family of Origin: Untangle Your Unhealthy Roots.

    Caveat

    It’s important to monitor your expectations around how often you “should” be happy.  Nobody “should” be happy all the time and denying some of the other more difficult human emotions like sadness, anger and worry will not serve you well in the long run. Though those feelings can be uncomfortable, they are part of the human experience.

    Sweeping them under the rug will inevitably backfire.

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    Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

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  • Florida Pastor is Moving Into a Glass House and Streaming It 24/7

    Florida Pastor is Moving Into a Glass House and Streaming It 24/7

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    Press Release
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    updated: Aug 27, 2017


    FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla., August 27, 2017 (Newswire.com)
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    In a day where most people hide their private lives, South Florida Pastor and popular YouTuber, Troy Gramling, will take an unprecedented move towards transparency and move into a glass house with his wife Stephanie on Sept. 10, 2017. The best part is that you’ll be able to watch their every move — live and uncensored at myglasshouse.com for the entire month of September.

    The glass house is being built on the northwest corner of Flamingo & Stirling Road in Cooper City, Florida, and will include multiple camera angles to broadcast every minute of the experience!  While no physical nudity will be involved — the pastors do promise to get naked about their relationship and open up about how they handle day to day issues.

    We are leveraging this month in the glass house to rise above the white noise of the world and share with everyone how our lives are very similar to theirs.

    Troy Gramling , Lead Pastor

    “We are leveraging this month in the glass house to rise above the white noise of the world and share with everyone how our lives are very similar to theirs. We pray that by watching what we go through, it will help others with their own relationships and make them feel stronger and more encouraged,” said Gramling.

    The pastor will step out of the glass house on weekends to teach from the main stage of his 14,000-member congregation, based in South Florida, the Caribbean and in South America. Gramling’s discussions will also be aired on NBC-6 Sunday mornings and other local TV stations throughout the country. Listings are available at myglasshouse.com.

    Media and general public tours of the glass house are available exclusively during Potential’s Fall Kickoff Weekend Sept. 9 and 10. Exclusive pre move in tours will be available on a limited basis for media outlets and special groups through our Marketing Department.

    ‘Move In Day” is Sept. 10 at 5 p.m. (ET). Ribbon cutting and limited edition giveaways will be available during the festivities. You’ll definitely want to be there to watch the cameras roll and the privacy end in the lives of these two nationally recognized pastors.

    Media Contact: 
    Heredes Ribeiro
    Phone: 954.434.1500
    Email: h@potentialchurch.com

    Source: Potential Studios

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