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GREENSBORO, N.C. — Teen dating violence often begins with behaviors that may seem small at first — jealousy, pressure or attempts to control a partner. However, experts say those warning signs can quickly escalate into emotional, physical or sexual abuse.
For University of North Carolina at Greensboro senior Elizabeth Dorton, those red flags appeared when she was just 15.
Sitting on a bench on campus, Dorton shared a story she has rarely spoken about publicly. What started as a friendship with a fellow robotics teammate during high school soon turned into something more.
“I was on a robotics team, it was somebody who was also on the team,” Dorton said. “Our friendship started there, and then it turned into more than just a regular friendship.”
She said jealousy and isolation quickly followed.
Dorton recalled repeated threats tied to something as simple as wanting a septum piercing.
“He consistently told me if I had ever gotten that specific piercing, he would take, like the nine volt battery and hold it up, which closes the circuit and then it’s like an electrical current runs through it,” Dorton said.
She said the threats eventually escalated into sexual violence, leaving her feeling trapped and alone.
“Even though because I was never hit, that doesn’t mean that I deserved any of that … and it wasn’t my fault that that happened,” Dorton said.
According to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting Program, nationwide data from 2020 through 2024 shows more than three-quarters of victims in violent teen relationships were female, accounting for 79.2% of reported cases.
The report also found 73% of abusive teen relationships involved a boyfriend and girlfriend. Simple assault was the most commonly reported offense among victims 15 and older, while rape was most frequently reported among victims 14 and younger.
Sydney Wray, a trauma therapist with House of Sparrow Counseling, said sexual coercion, emotional manipulation and digital monitoring are among the most common forms of abuse she sees in teens.
“Studies have shown that an abusive relationship, both in teens and adults, the victim’s brain mimics a drug addiction, so in a lot of ways they’re addicted to their abuser,” Wray said.
She said parents play a critical role in prevention by creating safe spaces for teens to speak openly about their struggles.
“Make sure that you just provide them non-judgmental support and show them what healthy love looks like,” Wray said.
Dorton said therapy helped her understand the relationship was unhealthy. She said she didn’t tell her parents about the abuse until two years after it ended.
“I was scared that they would be upset with me or that I would get in trouble for some reason,” Dorton said.
By sharing her experience, Dorton hopes other teens recognize the warning signs sooner and know they have options.
“Once you recognize, maybe this is not what I want or this is not like how we used to be, that’s the first step. The next step is knowing that you can leave, you can go,” Dorton said.
Mental health professionals say parents should watch for warning signs including teens constantly checking their phones, withdrawing from friends or family, or appearing fearful of upsetting a partner.
“One of the biggest warning signs that your teen is in an abusive relationship or an unhealthy relationship is the constantly checking their phone or worrying about their partner and saying, I don’t want to do this or I can’t do that. Not wanting to see friends, not wanting to see family, isolating themselves, staying in their room,” Wray said.
If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy or unsafe relationship, help is available through local crisis centers and the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
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Ashley Van Havere
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