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  • Your guide to Phoenix’s Brides of March 2024: Bars, schedule and more

    Your guide to Phoenix’s Brides of March 2024: Bars, schedule and more

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    There’s a lot you can do with an old wedding gown these days. There are scores of ’em available at local thrift stores, ranging from frilly frocks to silken gowns, all of which can be repurposed as potential craft projects, transformed into mixed-media canvases or utilized as costumes for geek events.

    Or if you’re up for a bit of wild fun, you could always wear one to the Brides of March this weekend. It’s an annual bar crawl that spoofs wedding traditions and the Ides of March and happens in cities across the U.S. (including here in Arizona) every March. The gonzo event is organized by chapters of the Cacophony Society, the infamous urban pranking group with branches worldwide, and involves 200-plus people of every gender identity wearing goofy and glitzy bridal dresses while engaging in an afternoon of drinking.

    This year’s Brides of March in Phoenix takes place on Saturday and will involve participants visiting bars on Seventh Avenue in the Melrose District. According to co-organizers Dawn O’Brien and Jason Thornock, it’s a change from previous editions of the event, which largely centered on spots along the Valley Metro Rail.

    “Some of the bars we visited last year weren’t (large) enough or set up to handle so many people, so we wanted to try something new this year,” O’Brien says. “So we’re shaking things up a little with different bars and walking instead of taking the light rail.”

    That’s the only thing that’s changed about the Brides of March, which will also feature such activities as a high-heel footrace and garter-tossing contest. If you’re interested in saying “yes” to the dress, here’s everything you need to know for this year’s Brides of March.

    When is Brides of March 2024 in Phoenix?

    This year’s Brides of March bar crawl is on Saturday, March 9 from noon until 11 p.m.

    How does Brides of March work?

    Participants of all gender identities will don wedding attire and gather at Charlie’s Phoenix, 727 W. Camelback Road, before embarking on an afternoon-long bar crawl with stops at various Melrose District spots. Activities like a high-heel race and bouquet toss for prizes will take place at each bar.

    Who can participate in Brides of March?

    Anyone who’s 21 or older, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. “It includes everybody, no matter who you are, what you’re into or what your gender happens to be,” O’Brien says. “It’s for anyone who’s willing to wear a wedding dress in public and have fun while (doing so).” [image-12]

    What’s the attraction of Brides of March?

    O’Brien, who has participated in Brides of March for 15 years, says the event is “just a really fun community experience” that’s open to all. Some participants enjoy the prank aspects of the event or its ties to Burning Man culture. Others just enjoy dressing up in a wedding frock for an afternoon. “It’s more than just an ordinary bar crawl,” O’Brien says.

    How much does the Brides of March cost?

    It’s free to participate in the bar crawl and there are no cover charges at any of the bars. You’ll have to pay for your drinks and the cost of the wedding dress, though.

    How did Brides of March start in Phoenix?

    Brides of March originated in San Francisco in 1999 as a spoof of wedding culture that also riffs on the Ides of March. The event spread to cities worldwide over the years via local chapters of urban pranking group, the Cacophony Society. Phoenix’s version of Brides of March was launched in 2009 by members of the Arizona Cacophony Society and has taken place every year (except for a one-year hiatus in 2021 because of the pandemic). 

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    The front entrance to Thunderbird Lounge.

    Charles Barth

    Brides of March schedule and bars

    Here’s the complete schedule and lineup of bars for this year’s Brides of March. Activities at each stop are also included.

    Noon to 2:30 p.m.: Charlie’s Phoenix, 727 W. Camelback Road

    • 1 p.m.: Wedding cake served
    • 1:15 p.m.: Champagne toast and raffle drawing for a designer purse
    • 1:30 p.m.: Group photos
    • 2 p.m.: High-heel race in the parking lot

    2:30 to 4:15 p.m.: Stacy’s at Melrose, 4343 N. Seventh Ave.

    • 3:30 p.m.: Bouquet-toss contest with a gift card for the winner

    4:15 to 5:30 p.m.: Thunderbird Lounge, 710 W. Montecito Ave.

    • 5 p.m.: Bouquet-toss contest for prizes

    5:30 to 7 p.m.: The Rock, 4129 N. Seventh Ave.

    • 6 p.m.: Garter belt toss with a gift card for the winner

    6 to 11 p.m.: Pat O’s Bunkhouse, 4428 N. Seventh Ave.

    • 7:30 p.m.: Drawing for Arizona Facial Plastics gift card (must be present to win)
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    Expect sunny skies on Saturday for this year’s Brides of March.

    Benjamin Leatherman

    What’s the weather forecast for Saturday?

    There won’t be any rain on ruining this wedding day. The current forecast for Saturday calls for sunny skies and temperatures in the mid-70s. “It’s going to be beautiful on Saturday,” O’Brien says.

    Can you take Valley Metro Rail to Brides of March’s stops?

    Only to get to Charlie’s, the first stop on the crawl (there’s a Valley Metro Rail station just across the street). This year’s Brides of March will feature bars in the Melrose District along Seventh Avenue, an area that isn’t served by the light rail. “We’re switching things up with the route this year and (focusing) on Seventh Avenue,” O’Brien says. “You’ll be able to walk between each of the (bars) along the way.”

    Organizers encourage participants to utilize the light rail to get to and from the event. “It’s always an easy way for getting to Brides of March and going home safely without worrying about your car or a possible DUI,” says O’Brien.

    Can you drink between bars?

    It’s strongly discouraged by organizers and technically illegal under Arizona’s open container and public consumption laws. O’Brien admits that they won’t be policing the event, though.

    “We can say, ‘Don’t bring a flask,’ but we can’t control what people are doing,” she says. “Obviously, you’re not supposed to drink in public, but it’s happened at every (Brides of March), and it might happen more this year because people are walking instead of riding the light rail. People are adults. They make their own choices.”

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    Your wedding dress doesn’t have to be white at Brides of March.

    Benjamin Leatherman

    Do you have to wear a wedding dress at Brides of March?

    They’re “absolutely mandatory,” according to the Arizona Cacophony Society’s website. However, O’Brien says Brides of March organizers “won’t turn people away” if they’re wearing a bridesmaid dress. Also, feel free to experiment with colorful gowns, vibrant wigs or wild accessories. “Almost everybody’s wearing white, but we’ve had people in red, black or rainbow-colored wedding dresses,” O’Brien says.

    Where can you get an inexpensive wedding dress in Phoenix?

    Check out local thrift stores like Goodwill, Savers or the Salvation Army, as well as websites like Craigslist, OfferUp or Facebook Marketplace. People are also selling secondhand wedding gowns via the Facebook event page for this year’s Brides of March.

    How will donations to St. Mary’s Food Bank work?

    Organizers request that Brides of March bring a bag of canned or nonperishable food items to Charlie’s to be donated to St. Mary’s Food Bank. “Canned goods stack the best in boxes, but any non-perishable food items [are acceptable],” O’Brien says. Charlie’s bartenders will offer a drink ticket to those who donate to St. Mary’s.

    What should you bring to Brides of March?

    Comfortable shoes are a must since you’ll be walking to bars. If you’d like to get your drinks as quickly and efficiently as possible, bring cash and your ID. A fully charged smartphone, sunglasses and other sun protection are also a good idea.

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    The high-heel race during a previous Brides of March.

    Benjamin Leatherman

    When and where is the high-heel race?

    Brides of March’s annual high-heel race will be held in Charlie’s parking lot at 2 p.m. Three-inch heels are required to compete in the race and wedges aren’t allowed. There will be prizes for the first, second and third-place finishers.

    What other activities will happen at Brides of March?

    Bouquet-tossing contests for prizes will take place at Stacy’s around 3:30 p.m. and at Thunderbird Lounge around 5 p.m. A garter-tossing contest will occur at approximately 6 p.m. at The Rock.

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    Benjamin Leatherman

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  • The drunken and chaotic fun of Phoenix Idiotarod 2024

    The drunken and chaotic fun of Phoenix Idiotarod 2024

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    An afternoon of costumes and chaotic fun took place on Saturday when teams of people with decked-out shopping carts invaded the streets and sidewalks of downtown Phoenix.

    It was part of the annual Phoenix Idiotarod, one of the wildest events in the Valley. Put on each February by the local countercultural group the Arizona Cacophony Society, the race-like event is an urban prank, bar crawl, gonzo game and art spectacle all rolled into one.

    Teams of five or more participants don costumes pilot decorated shopping carts around downtown, visit checkpoints at bars and parks, and attempt bizarre feats and challenges.

    At this year’s Phoenix Idiotarod, each team’s carts were also playfully vandalized by other competitors. Other colorful chaos also ensued. Much alcohol was consumed by participants. And, thankfully, no one was arrested for public consumption

    The Phoenix Idiotarod dates back to 2007 and has occurred almost every year since then. Race organizers told Phoenix New Times, though, that due to declining interest in the event — only 20 teams participated this year — the 2024 edition might be its last, at least for the time being.

    Participants weren’t letting such news ruin their good time, however.

    “If this is the last year of the (Phoenix) Idiotarod, at least we went out having fun,” one participant told New Times.

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    The trophy for the Phoenix Idiotarod features a miniature shopping cart.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The teammates of the Mile High Club cart pose for a photo before taking off on the race.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Participants of the Phoenix Idiotarod (or “Idiots”) sign up at the registration desk before the race.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    This team poked fun at the fact that the 2024 edition of the Phoenix Idiotard might be it’s last.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    A sticker for Phoenix Idiotarod on the megaphone of event co-founder Chromatest J. Pantsmaker.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The members of the Balto’s Bitches cart dressed as sled dogs and paid tribute to the 1995 animated film “Balto.”

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The Gardener Squad were one of the liveliest — and most colorful — teams participating in this year’s Phoenix Idiotarod.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The tiniest member of the Gardener Squad.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The Mystery Machine team was inspired by the classic cartoon “Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!” from 1969.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Participants in this year’s Phoenix Idiotarod gathered at the starting point outside of Walter Studios in downtown Phoenix.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    This team’s cart was inspired by the ’90s game show for kids, “Legends of the Hidden Temple.”

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Before the Phoenix Idiotarod began, members of the Gardener Squad enjoyed a little “fertilizer,” which was alcohol.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The cart for Through the Years celebrated the 17-year history of the Phoenix Idiotarod.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The Gardener Squad get another spritz of “fertilizer.”

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Phoenix Idiotarod co-founder Chromatest J. Pantsmaker gives out instructions to participants before the race begins.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Phoenix Idiotarod participants with their carts outside of Walter Studios.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Phoenix Idiotarod participants head for the race’s first stop.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The pirates of Surrender the Booty gulp alcohol at the first challenge of the race.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Team ProLaps decked out their shopping cart like a souped-up import car. It even had a horn.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The alcohol-fueled fun at the first challenge of the Phoenix Idiotarod.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The pirates of Surrender the Booty after completing the first challenge of Phoenix Idiotarod 2024.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The Dazzling Disaster Disco Balls try to figure out where to go next, as the Phoenix Idiotarod map didn’t contain the names of streets or locations.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The “Legends of the Hidden Temple” team roll through the streets of downtown Phoenix on their way to another challenge.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    One of the challenges of the Phoenix Idiotarod 2024 was a “Wheel of Fortune” parody involving booze.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Decorating cookies at the “Wheel of Fortune” challenge.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    A member of the Mile High Club team takes a shot at the “Wheel of Fortune” challenge.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The Dazzling Disaster Disco Balls got a real kick out of participating in the Phoenix Idiotarod.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    We’re Getting Married, a team that riffed on bachelorette parties, rolls toward University Park near Van Buren and 10th streets.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    This team turned a shopping cart into a working go-kart.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Shenanigans at the “Wheel of Fortune” challenge.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Phoenix Idiotarod participants having fun at the “Wheel of Fortune” challenge.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    This Phoenix Idiotarod 2024 team was inspired by cryptids.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Participants in the “Wheel of Fortune” challenge received an “IDIOT!” stamp after finishing.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The members of Arrested for Cart Abandonment, which was inspired by the show “Arrested Development.”

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    The members of Balto’s Bitches roll down Grand Avenue in downtown Phoenix.

    Benjamin Leatherman

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    Benjamin Leatherman

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