Tag: Allie X Bastian Langebæk

On the heels of releasing the solipsistic anthem, “Is Anybody Out There?,” Allie X has already unleashed the second single from HIGGY a.k.a. Happiness Is Going to Get You. Titled “Reunite,” it is, in its way an appropriate thematic companion to “Is Anybody Out There?” in that after wondering, “Is anybody listening ‘cause I’m not hearing anything/I think I might be in this world alone/Is anybody out there?/I don’t know,” Allie X starts to also question if perhaps she threw away a certain past relationship too prematurely. And, maybe if she hadn’t, she wouldn’t feel quite so lonely.

A loneliness that comes across in the wistful, “ultra-throwback” musical intro to the track, which is all harpsichord for the first seventeen seconds. This followed by about a two-second pause before leading into the stabbing electro sound that Allie X is known for, achieved in this instance with co-production help from Bastian Langebæk (who also worked with her on “Is Anybody Out There?”). In the accompanying “visualizer,” Allie X is not only once again in her “Infant Marie” guise, but is also “just kind of existing” inside of a giant, transparent cube as she plays the harpsichord for a taxidermied hooded crow (which Allie has nicknamed, what else, “Higgy”).

Upon completing her “introductory flourish,” however, X ceases to play the instrument (after all, that isn’t the sound of the song anymore—though she will go back to pretending to play the keys later on) in favor of singing along to the beat as she recounts, “Trauma’s complicated/When you went and changed, I disassociated/It was you that I hated, the simple one to blame/When you’re a child in pain, and I/I didn’t mean to hurt you [this recalling John Lennon saying the same on “Jealous Guy”]/I’ve been a maniac/But now I want you back.”

With this narrative established within the first minute of the song, it instantly recalls one of the strongest lyrical comparisons to “Reunite”: an “obscure” track from Lily Allen’s 2009 album, It’s Not Me, It’s You, called “Back to the Start” (which also features an “esoteric” musical instrument in the form of a glockenspiel). Written for Allen’s half-sister, Sarah Owen, it’s an apology for being, as Allie X, would call it, a bit of a “maniac” toward her, especially during her teenage years. As Allen would describe, “We had a rocky relationship for years and years and years and it was just getting to the point where we just couldn’t argue like teenagers anymore, so I played it to her a long time ago and it’s kinda worked, we’ve sorted a lot of things out.” Perhaps the same can and will happen for Allie X, with whoever she may have written “Reunite” for.

And while Allie X’s track may or may not be directed at an ex-lover (though it also functions as a “catch-all” kind of an apology track, applicable to a friend or family member), it bears the same general sense of regret over having acted “shit” toward someone you were once close to. Having pushed them away with your deliberately volatile behavior. Something that comes across in earnest via Allie X’s chorus, “And I’m not mad anymore/In fact now I’m doing fine/I’ve gotten wiser with age/Will you let me back into your life?/I know, it wasn’t your fault/And though it might have been mine/We were just doing our best/Maybe you and me can reunite.”

The hopeful suggestion behind that “maybe” correlates to Allen’s own proposition in her chorus for “Back to the Start,” “I don’t know why I felt the need to keep it up for oh so long/It’s all my fault, I’m sorry, you did absolutely nothing wrong/I don’t know why I felt the need to drag it out for all these years/All the pain I’ve caused you, the constant flowing of your tears/Believe me when I say that I cannot apologize enough/When all you ever wanted from me was a token of my love/And if it’s not too late, could you please find it deep within your heart/To try and go back, go back to the start?”

Allie X seems to feel a similar way, adding to her spiel/plea for forgiveness and reconciliation, “So many years/I wasted my time/Disconnecting from the simple truth, ooh/I separated myself, body and mind/I should have listened/Should have listened/I should have listened to you.”

And so it is that within each of these apologies that each respective chanteuse admits not only to their own wrongdoing, but also to the fact that they were actually largely responsible for the rift in question—no small feat when it comes to delivering a meaningful kind of “sorry.” One that even Nancy Downs in The Craft might have trouble (Fairuza) balking at. In Allen’s case, she goes so far as get slightly meta with the assurance, “This is not just a song, I intend to put these words into action/I hope that it sums up the way that I feel to your satisfaction.”

In the visualizer for “Reunite,” the allure of such a heartfelt apology is further conveyed by the sudden appearance of someone else outside the glass box, dressed in similar “Victorian attire” to Allie X. Someone who was clearly moved enough to materialize out of nowhere and listen to X’s sincere entreaty. However, the fact that the person outside the box (played by X’s “body double,” Rosie Carney), obfuscated and, therefore, “unknowable,” is dressed to look like Allie X also infers that maybe the person she’s asking forgiveness of could even be herself. The younger version that likely didn’t treat her with as much kindness and understanding as the current one does. That there are also moments in the visualizer (which is directed by Cal McIntyre, just like “Is Anybody Out There?”) when Allie X is reflected in the glass further adds to the validity of this theory. One that suggests she would like to reunite/reconnect with a past and inner self that she once acted so cruelly toward.

Whoever the song is “truly” aimed at, however, is irrelevant. For, just like Allen’s “Back to the Start,” the theme of pleading for someone you did wrong to not only forgive you, but also “reunite” with you is one that many will find resonant. In addition to possibly not getting that desired forgiveness and reignited closeness after asking for it. Because, sadly, the biblical adage, “Ask and you shall receive” is rarely true.