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The CEO of an enterprise software startup, walked into my office looking visibly distraught. His voice shaking, he said, “The company that tried to buy us last year just launched a competing product. I turned down their offer, and now we might lose everything.” His fear was palpable—tight chest and shallow breath. In this state, he couldn’t think straight. All he wanted to do was hide.
Fear provides fuel
As a psychotherapist and CEO coach specializing in spiritual intelligence, I always encourage my clients to feel the full extent of their emotions, even the so-called “negative” ones. Time after time, I’ve seen that these unpleasant sensations usually have a thing or two to teach us.
I asked my client to take a deep breath and simply notice what was happening inside him, to allow it while feeling the support of his legs and feet on the floor below him. “You don’t have to enjoy it but try treating your fear with respect by just allowing it all to be there,” I explained to him.
As he tuned in, his posture softened. His breath deepened. The tension in his body loosened. After a few minutes, he said, “The fear’s still there, but it’s not controlling me.” Then I asked, “If your fear could speak, what would it say?”
He thought for a moment, then began to list ideas:
- Stay vigilant
- Accelerate team innovation
- Strengthen customer support
- Build new partnerships
After just a few quiet moments of reflection, the fear that paralyzed him had transformed into a call to action instead.
Every leader faces fear
My client’s story isn’t rare. I’ve seen it in CEOs, founders, and executives across industries. The leaders who thrive aren’t the ones who feel no fear, but rather those who have learned to be present with it. From there, they can discern the right course of action: courage (the capacity to move forward despite the fear), or caution (the capacity to minimize unnecessary danger by shifting course).
As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “First, we must unflinchingly face our fears and honestly ask ourselves why we are afraid. This confrontation will, to some measure, grant us power. We shall never be cured of fear by escapism or repression, for the more we attempt to ignore and repress our fears, the more we multiply our inner conflicts.”
Within a week of that session, my client gathered his team and reframed the challenge. They doubled down on innovation and launched a series of improvements that ultimately helped the company outpace its competitors.
What the research says
Though it is generally acknowledged that anxiety in the workplace is detrimental, some levels have been found to contribute to self-regulation and motivation for teams.i One study found that people with higher trait anxiety achieved better outcomes such as greater academic success, persistence, and job satisfaction when their anxiety translated into motivation rather than avoidance.
Another study discovered that anxiety had a positive impact on language learning. Through my research interviewing leaders deemed spiritually intelligent by their colleagues, many spoke of the power of staying present with emotions like fear, anger, and nervousness. By facing discomfort with openness, these leaders affirmed their resilience, turning tension into strength.
Allowing and including your full experience
To help my clients cultivate this grounded awareness, I often will lead them in a practice I call “Allow and Include.” Here are the steps:
- Notice what is present.
Pause and acknowledge whatever you’re feeling without judgment. - Allow it.
Let the experience be as it is—no fixing, no resisting. - Include the body and the support of Mother Earth underneath you.
Bring awareness to your breathing, spine, legs, feet, and the ground below. - Expand awareness.
Widen your focus to include both the emotion and the space around it. - Return to center.
Feel yourself become grounded, open, clear-minded, and reconnected to calm presence.
The next time you feel fear—a ball of tension in the pit of your stomach, a tightening of your chest, or your breath becoming shallow—pause, use the “Allow and Include” method. Ask yourself the below questions and journal your responses. Then, sit back, and thank your fear for the focus it has provided you with.
- What actions am I being advised to take?
- What quality is this challenge calling forth in me?
- What am I being asked to release or learn?
- How might this obstacle be shaping me into a more conscious leader?
The bottom line
Every great leader has been forged in fire. What separates those who crumble from those who rise is not the absence of fear, but the ability to parse it for meaning and learn from its messages. When you meet fear with curiosity, courage, and compassion, it becomes rocket fuel for growth. That’s how truly powerful leaders thrive in the face of adversity.
The final deadline for the 2026 Inc. Regionals Awards is Friday, December 12, at 11:59 p.m. PT. Apply now.
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Dr. Yosi Amram
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