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Tag: Abby McDonald

  • Should Christians Use Sarcasm?

    Should Christians Use Sarcasm?

    I come from a long line of family members who use sarcasm as a regular part of conversation. Most of the time, it’s not used with the intent to hurt anyone’s feelings or cut people down. Rather, it’s used as a form of humor or to point out the irony of a situation. But is it biblical? Should Christians use sarcasm?

    The Bible is clear about what types of talk should and shouldn’t come out of the believer’s mouth. If we look at Ephesians 4:29, it gives the instruction, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Reading these words, it would make sense that sarcasm is not included in what is considered helpful for building others up.

    But what about the instances in the Bible where there seems to be an underlying sarcasm or satire in the tone of the speaker? Although the tone is not stated, there are passages throughout the Bible where the words speak for themselves. One of my favorites is Elijah when he taunts the prophets of Baal:

    “And at noon Elijah mocked them, saying, ‘Cry aloud, for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.’” 1 Kings 18:27 ESV

    I think it’s safe to say that Elijah does not believe these gods are actually using the bathroom or are on some journey. The verse states in black and white that he’s mocking the Baal worshippers. He can’t resist throwing these words out there, thus making a point about who the one true God is. Is this sarcasm? Or is it satire?

    While these two words used to have different meanings, they are now used almost interchangeably. In the past, satire was more often used in reference to plays and writings which expose human folly, which is what Elijah is doing here. He is exposing the fact that these prophets’ beliefs have no foundation in truth.

    When it comes to sarcasm, the intent of the Christian is key. 

    Here are five things to consider before using it:

    1. Are your words aimed to hurt others or be cruel?

    If the answer is yes, then it is better to be silent. Scripture is filled with reminders about the power of our words, and we can use this power for good or evil. While it is not a sin to become angry, our anger does become sinful when we act out of rage or with the intent to harm someone else. Our words can either point others toward Jesus or away from him, and when we’re mindful of this truth, we can impact generations of people in the best possible ways.

    “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Proverbs 18:21 ESV

    2. Are your words motivated by pride or an inflated ego?

    Sometimes we use sarcasm because of an inflated sense of self. We want to draw attention to the fact that we think we’re better than whatever shortcoming our sarcasm is aimed toward. This is another instance where it is better to either keep our mouths shut or reevaluate how to use our words. Although we may think we’re better than the establishment, rule, or deficiency we’re ridiculing, Paul gives clear instruction about how we are to view ourselves:

    “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Romans 12:3 NIV

    3. Is this means of communication effective for your audience?

    A few of the pastors of churches I attended over the years would occasionally use sarcasm in their sermons. When it was used, it was always with the same intent Elijah likely had when using it with the Baal worshippers: to expose human folly and or a tendency toward a certain sin. It was not with the intent to inflate themselves or make themselves look smarter than anyone else. They were well aware that they were as in need of grace as everyone else, and sarcasm was more a form of humor used to get a laugh from the congregation. Perhaps more importantly, it was effective at illustrating their point. Congregants responded and understood the intended meaning.

    There are several instances where Jesus used this type of communication as well. Often, it was directed toward the Pharisees or religious leaders who claimed to follow God, but their hearts were far from him. In one notable instance, they were ready to stone Jesus because he had just claimed to be equal with the Father. This was Jesus’ response:

    “Again his Jewish opponents picked up stones to stone him, 32 but Jesus said to them, “I have shown you many good works from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?” John 10:31-32 NIV

    4. What is your desired goal?

    Many times, the goal with sarcasm is simply to be funny. And often, it works. While there is nothing wrong with humor, we need to ask ourselves, “Is it at someone else’s expense?” 

    Other times, the goal may be to expose human error or our propensity toward sin. While there’s nothing wrong with this intention either, even in this case, we need to tread with caution. Sarcasm can easily become hurtful and demeaning, and the way we portray Christ matters. Often, others are watching us without our being aware of it. If they see us being sarcastic and demeaning all the time, they will likely not be drawn to a God who is both loving and merciful.

    Paul talks about the importance of the appeal we are making to others on Christ’s behalf, saying:

    “You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” 2 Corinthians 3:3 NIV

    5. Are you pointing others toward truth?

    As we’ve discussed, the point of sarcasm is often to expose folly and point others toward truth. While some may argue that a better means of communicating could be used, it is effective nonetheless. Throughout scripture, we see men who followed God use sarcasm. It is not with the intent to be hateful but to point others toward truth.

    The bottom line with the use of sarcasm is this: Proceed with care. Most of the time, a more loving and effective means of communicating can be found. While it may be unrealistic to say that Christians should never use sarcasm, we do need to be mindful of how our speech affects others. If our goal is to be cruel, to inflate ourselves, or demean, we need to reevaluate. God is ready and willing to direct our speech when we seek his wisdom, and a better path may be on the other side of an honest request for guidance.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/jacoblund

    Abby McDonald is a writing coach and the author of Shift: Changing Our Focus to See the Presence of God. Her mission is to empower women to seek God in the middle of life’s messes and to share their faith with courage. Abby writes regularly for Proverb 31 Ministries’ daily devotions team, and her work has been featured in numerous publications. You can connect with Abby on her website where you can grab a free worship playlist to help you shift your focus toward God. You can also connect with Abby on Instagram.

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  • 5 Christlike Ways to Handle Disagreements Part 2

    5 Christlike Ways to Handle Disagreements Part 2

    My goal wasn’t to get into an argument with my family member. Far from it. But when the conversation turned to religion and the salvation of his Hindu family members, I couldn’t stay silent. My desire for him to know the truth led my words at first, but the conversation went from kind and receptive to biting and sour. I wasn’t sure how to get it back on track, so I went outside to get some air.

    Is it possible to have Christlike disagreements and not let our feelings lead us down a path of destruction? As humans, our emotions stay with us wherever we go. We can’t separate ourselves from them, but we can give ourselves a moment to process them and ask ourselves, “Is this really true?” and “Am I being led by unresolved hurt or by love?” When we do this, our disagreements are less fueled by anger and resentment and led more by a genuine love for others.

    Disagreements are not unbiblical. We see Jesus disagreeing with people in scripture quite often. The problem comes when we are guided by our opinions rather than the Holy Spirit.

    Here are five Christlike ways to handle disagreements:

    1. Ask God to Direct the Conversation

    Even when I’m not in the middle of a disagreement, I often do this. If someone asks me a tough question related to the Bible or about God, I always want the Spirit and sound biblical truth to lead. It is amazing what a short prayer saying, “God, help me,” or “God, guide my words,” can do. By doing so, we acknowledge that our flesh is weak, but our spirit is willing. (Matthew 26:41)

    While we may not have the right words to say in the middle of a disagreement, God does. And when his Spirit directs the conversation, we can be sure we are putting the best version of ourselves out there for others to see.

    2. Ask Yourself, “Do I Love This Person?”

    My pastor once told a story about an administrative assistant he did not get along with. He was very young then, and they had butted heads on some issues. He found a specific verse he was going to use to put her argument to rest once and for all. But on his way to the woman’s office, the Spirit stopped him and asked, “Do you love her?” He knew if he was completely honest, the answer was no. The simple question and redirect made him realize his correction had no basis if it was not rooted in love.

    Many of us are familiar with the following verse in Ephesians, but we forget the love part:

    “Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.” Ephesians 4:15 NLT

    When we let our love for Christ and his church lead us instead of our own selfish pride, something beautiful happens. If we read the following verses, we see God’s desire for each of us:

    “He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” Ephesians 4:16 NLT

    3. Be Led By a Desire for Understanding

    Have you ever been around someone who just wanted to hear herself talk? Goodness knows I have, and I know I’ve been guilty of acting this way myself. But if our only concern is having the loudest voice in the room, we’ll probably miss opportunities to see and understand God’s people. We’re going to overlook others who genuinely want to be heard and cared for because we’re more concerned with them knowing our opinion.

    When we’re tempted to let our opinions lead us rather than love and care for the other person, let’s take a pause. The Holy Spirit is always willing to help us in our time of need and will give us the patience and understanding we lack.

    James talks about the fact that none of us have wisdom and understanding apart from the Lord and points us toward humble acts done with hearts turned toward God rather than our own selfish motives:

    “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.” James 3:13-14 NIV

    4. Remember, It Is Not Our Job to “Fix” Other People

    Often, we are misled by the notion that we can argue people into following God. We think if we drill our points into their heads with enough sound reasoning and determination, they will change their ways. But we do not see this happening in the Gospels. In every instance where lives are changed, it is a miracle where someone experiences Jesus’ utterly unreasonable grace and mercy.

    The Holy Spirit is in the business of convicting hearts and bringing prodigals to repentance. When we try be the Holy Spirit instead of simply letting him lead us with complete submission, we fall short. More often than not, we let our flesh and our pride take over, and the person we’re trying to convince is more repulsed than drawn to the throne of grace.

    Paul reminds us of what draws others toward God in Romans 2, and contrary to what we sometimes think, it isn’t arguing:

    “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?” Romans 2:4 NIV

    5. Remember, the Other Person Was Created in the Image of God

    It’s difficult to speak harshly to someone when we see God’s stamp on him or her. And regardless of whether or not the person is a believer, she was created in God’s image. The person we’re disagreeing with is loved by God and sought after. Every interaction we have needs to be led by this knowledge.

    I once heard someone say that when Jesus led his earthly ministry, he didn’t convince others to leave their former life by pointing and saying, “You’re wrong, you’re wrong, and you’re wrong. Now, follow me.” But when we remind people that they bear the image of the Creator, something inside of them comes alive. They’re transformed because the Spirit awakens them to the fact that they are sons and daughters, and the desire for their old way of life fades.

    Not every disagreement we have with others will be about God or the Bible, but these disagreements seem to stir our emotions the most. This is because we care deeply about our faith and our beliefs, and our lives are transformed because of them. But when we disagree, let’s remember to let God lead the conversation. Disagreements in themselves are not sinful, but hate for our brother and sister does not have a place at God’s table. Let’s remember the price he paid for each and every one of us, and remember that even in his darkest hour of betrayal, he cried out, “Father, forgive them.” (Luke 23:34) 

    Click here to check out Part 1.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/fizkes

    Abby McDonald is a writing coach and the author of Shift: Changing Our Focus to See the Presence of God. Her mission is to empower women to seek God in the middle of life’s messes and to share their faith with courage. Abby writes regularly for Proverb 31 Ministries’ daily devotions team, and her work has been featured in numerous publications. You can connect with Abby on her website where you can grab a free worship playlist to help you shift your focus toward God. You can also connect with Abby on Instagram.

    Abby McDonald

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