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A bride-to-be has been praised for wanting only her twins at her wedding, with no other children attending.
In a viral post shared on Reddit, user Boring-Landscape1002 wrote that she was getting married soon and that she had a specific plan. She added that the only children she wanted at her wedding were her two 7-year-old twins and that they would be with a babysitter “so they won’t be a bother to anyone.”
Wedding expert Zoe Burke, editor of Hitched.co.uk, told Newsweek: “Ultimately, it is the couple’s day and they are funding and planning it, so when it comes to who attends their wedding, they do get the final say. It’s very common for couples to either say family children only, or no children at all, but that does become more complex if the couple are parents themselves.”
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The Reddit user wrote in her post that her family was really upset with the decision as they also have young children.
The bride-to-be added: “They said it’s unfair for me to allow my kids but not theirs. They accused me of being selfish and said I should either invite all the family’s children or none at all. They even threatened not to attend my wedding if I don’t change my mind.
“I think they’re being dramatic, and I believe I have the right to choose who I want at my wedding. I love my nieces and nephews, but I don’t want them to disrupt the atmosphere of the celebration,” she wrote.
“I also don’t want to exclude my own kids because they are my children, and I want them to witness me marrying their father,” the future bride added.
Burke said: “In this scenario, I do understand their reasoning. Having young children at a wedding does alter the dynamic of the day. In this case, they seem to plan to have their children witness the wedding and then be taken care of by a babysitter, which is their prerogative as the nearlyweds.
“If lots of your family do have children, but you don’t want them at your day, it’s always worth exploring whether you could set up a kind of ‘creche’ at your venue, with professional childcare,” Burke added. “It is an additional expense, but if it’s the children of close family, you could always ask if they’d consider contributing to have their children cared for, on-site.
“If that’s not an option, then it remains up to the guest if they want to attend or not. They might not wish to be away from their children, nor be able to find childcare. Whatever the reason, you have to respect their decision not to attend, as they are respecting yours to celebrate your day without children in attendance,” Burke said.
The wedding-planning website The Knot found that the average wedding size in 2022 was estimated to be 117 guests.
Since being shared on Sunday, October 1, the Reddit post has attracted over 7,500 upvotes and more than 2,200 comments. The overwhelming number of people who wrote on the post backed the bride-to-be in her decision.
Reddit user NewtoFL2 posted: “anyone with a brain can accept that the bride/groom’s kids are [a] special case.”
No-Tourist-8300 added: “I agree that your own kids trump any kid-free weddings. Especially when babysitting has been arranged.”
BarrenCalamity wrote: “You’re getting married. You are free to select who you wish to attend. The specifics will determine whether or not guests can or want to attend.”
Cathtray commented: “This is not an either/or choice for the bride. The only choice needed to be made is her siblings’ – do they want to attend or not? The end.”
Newsweek has contacted Boring-Landscape1002 for comment via Reddit.
If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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