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by Dan Savage
I am a 45-year-old femme-presenting genderqueer AFAB person. When I have romantic relationships with cis het men, I’ve noticed two general types: They either enjoy sex and prioritize pleasure and making things fun for their partners and themselves, but make no special big deal about it, and we usually have frequent enough sex and that’s enjoyable and good. Or the sex starts out pretty good but — at some point — they make it known to me that they need to have sex regularly, that they can’t tolerate a lack of sex, that they get grumpy if they don’t have sex, that they’ve been in sexless relationships before — blah blah blah — and soon the relationship starts to revolve around how much sex we’re having. Usually around this time the sex either gets worse or I realize that it wasn’t that good to begin with and then we start…
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Dan Savage
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