Longevity Science’s Penis Fixation Has an Extensive, Strange History

If you have dipped a toe into the very strange waters of longevity culture, you may have noticed a theme: There’s an awful lot of dick.

Tech entrepreneur Bryan Johnson—he of the “don’t die” motto—is particularly obsessed with the ways his penis might help him live forever. The data Johnson collects on his johnson includes ejaculate volume (just over a half teaspoon, apparently double the norm), sperm count and motility, and nighttime erection quality, which he then compares with his teenage son. His regimen to keep his penis in tip-top shape includes shockwave therapy and Botox injections.

He’s not alone. Dave Asprey, the self-proclaimed father of the biohacking movement and the founder of Bulletproof Coffee, plans to live to 180. He treats his penis to injections of stem cells and acoustic wave therapy. For the latter, he helpfully suggests a DIY version: “Grab the cock and slap it against your leg on the left 67 times,” he said on his podcast, The Human Upgrade. “And then on the right….And you lightly slap the balls…The shock waves stimulate the cells. All of those are good for testosterone and good for enhancing what’s called male energy.” (Urologist Dr. Leon Telis, director of men’s health at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York, said he “would not recommend” this.)

If that sounds like too much work, Asprey also promotes at-home shockwave wands, along with a cock ring that records data: “firmness, duration, and recovery time,” according to his website. Like an Oura, but for your schlong.

The current political moment is perfect for penis-hacking. If there’s anything that excites longevity enthusiasts and biohackers more than untested stem cell treatments, it’s the MAHA promise to demolish regulation and bring red-blooded American masculinity back, creating a world where everyone is free to swim in sewage runoff wearing jeans before injecting whatever they want straight into their dicks. There’s a zeitgeisty Venn diagram here—MAHA, the manosphere, messianic tech-bro culture run amok—that makes it feel like the perfect 2025 storm.

But Jonathan A. Allan, a professor at Brandon University in Manitoba, Canada, who has written a cultural analysis of foreskin and is at work on a book about vastectomies, says that the penis fixation isn’t unique to this particular group of enthusiasts. Instead, it’s an abiding archetype in the quest for immortality. “It’s extreme,” he says of the current culture. “But it’s nothing new. We’ve been doing this for at least a century now.”