Jimmy, Seth and the other Jimmy all got together over at Jimmy’s house to announce that for health reasons, they would like to settle the writer’s strike out of their own pockets, as soon as possible.
“Not telling jokes through Trump’s Mar-a-lardo indictment is killing us,” said one of the Jimmys by his pool. I’ll pay anything to get the strike over, so I can start telling Trump jokes again. And finally be able to breathe again!”
Jimmy admits he himself has written jokes all over his house, all over the walls. Mostly scribbled near and around his many toilets. “I’m manic, going pure crazy. My family moved out!”
Even Leno knows how the Jimmys feel. He came up through comedy ranks during the Regan years, where there was a shit load of great material coming out of the White House. “Yep, this is gonna stunt their careers by a good decade, at least,” Leno predicts. “Missing Regan, Clinton and Bush jokes would have ended me.”
Seth admits, he was mostly there to cheer on the Jimmys and serve his special Mai Tai’s, but does admit that he is starting to develop of a habit of blurting out jokes in public, “I can’t control it,” he admits, “It’s like some sort of late night terrets syndrome. If I see a picture of Trump in public, that’s all it takes. I’ll do half a routine, right there on the sidewalk. Totally jibberish by the way. I truly suck at writing jokes. Damn, I need those writers back real, real bad—before I end my own career on the street!”
The other Jimmys agreed, Seth makes a mean Mai Tai. But also, that their doctors have said not being able to broadcast Trump jokes is taking a grim toll on them. He advises that its healthier for the hosts to blurt out jokes on the street, or in a restaurant, no matter how bad it is, than to hold the jokes in.
One Jimmy admits, his doctor said he has already aged seven full years, just from missing the last few weeks of bad trump news. “He said I aged a full year, just on Miami arraignment day! I’ll probably die, right as that mango moron is sentenced to prison,” said a shaken and greying one of the Jimmys. I can’t go on!”
“Take whatever you want,” the late night hosts all pleaded together, practically turning into old men before our eyes. “Just write us something funny to say!!”
In this writer’s opinion, one of the Jimmy’s wasn’t likely to make it through the upcoming Georgia indictment. “I’m worried about the Jimmys… Seth too. But mostly the Jimmys.”