To expand on the slightly adjusted lyrics of Beyoncé in the title of this blog, if you like someone enough you shouldn’t be afraid to put a label on your relationship. There’s nothing worse than a person who dodges the act of ‘making it official’ for months on end. It shows a lack of commitment and confidence in the relationship. Now there’s probably some people reading this saying “what’s the rush?”. Well there’s no rush, but you should be clear with your new partner about what you want from the relationship. It’s not fair if you drag them along for months on end, only to ultimately fade away under the pretence that it was only ever casual. So what are the options these days anyway? What are the natural phases, and how long do they last?
Dating: This is the ‘no strings attached’ phase. You met someone for a drink and it went well, so you met again. You may have even slept together, but it’s all new and you’re getting to know each other, you’re not sure, so you’re not committing and you’re keeping your options open. Do this for 2 to 6 weeks.
Seeing Someone: Dating went well for you both, and you’re finding yourself spending the night more than once per week. Feelings are being caught and nice words are being exchanged. You’re closing in on something more exclusive but nothing has been officially declared. 6 weeks to 9 weeks.
Situationship: This is not a good term, it means that one party is making all the right noises but the other party is still unsure and is spoiling the mojo. But you persevere and give them a chance, because the sex is good and you love hanging out, but there’s some type of complication. Give it 3 months.
Relationship: This is a happy place, you’re both into each other and it should be a pleasure to declare it, eventually to friends and family too. There’s no surprises here, just a solid connection based on falling in love and really getting to know each other. You can expect commitment anytime after 3 months.
Some people like to change their status online to let the world know. Some people like to keep it on the down low. But one thing is for sure, tell each other and be confident about your feelings. It’s a wonderful process to go through, and when the feelings grow more and more, and blossom into love, you’ll have no problem putting a label on it.
Ronnie Giandzi
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