Boy, Donald Trump is in a pickle. Three indictments, each one just as bad as the last, all of which he’s responded to with a big “not guilty.” This guy’s blood must really be boiling. His head must be hot and his ass must be red. Thankfully, Trump has recourse. A Page Six source reports that “Melania’s even better than his regular golf games at keeping his temper in check. She provides a peaceful life for him when he needs it.”
This is the dream of every little girl. We hope that one day we’ll grow up to manage some guy’s anger when he’s not on the golf course. It’s a calling, an ambition, a reverie. Please give me a man whose unmitigated wrath is golf’s and my responsibility alone. Me and golf will tend to his precipitous moods until he and/or I are dead in the ground.
The source continued, saying, “The couple and their son [Barron] have breakfast and dinner together regularly at their residence at his Bedminster golf club. [Melania] literally turns the news off at times so they can watch something else together, and she frowns over telephone or social media use at the table. Melania keeps him on track as a father and has in many ways stepped up to fill the place Ivanka [Trump] and Jared [Kushner] once had…She is his most intimate and internal sounding board.”
Sorry, a couple quick addendums to the dream: Please make it my mission to turn off the TV when he can’t, and to purse my lips when my adult husband’s phone is out at the dinner table. Please make it so that when he can’t have his daughter as the filly to his stallion, he’ll accept me instead. Please make his preferred methods for mitigating the anger he has toward a situation he has gotten himself into with his own actions, in descending order: his daughter, me, golf.
The anonymous-source network surrounding the former first lady has been a little varied in its messaging during Trump’s postpresidency legal woes. Just days before the first indictment in March—the one related to the Stormy Daniels hush money payment—sources told People that the former first lady “wants to ignore” the whole thing, “hopes it will pass,” and “doesn’t sympathize with Donald’s plight.” Back in June, after the second indictment—the classified-documents one—a source told People that Melania “doesn’t want anything to do with any of it.” She simply “wishes these legal issues would go away.”
“Melania…prefers to go about her business,” this person said. “She continues moving ahead.”
Page Six reported at the time that a potentially different source said, “Melania knows what she signed up for. She is in a wait-and-see position. He’ll either be in prison or be president. Or both.”
Her own actions have been just as varied. Melania didn’t show up in court to publicly support Trump during his arraignments following the first, second, and third indictments. However, in May, after the first indictment—and right before Trump was found liable for sexual abuse and defamation in the E. Jean Carroll trial—the former first lady told Fox News Digital that she approved of his latest campaign for president. “He has my support, and we look forward to restoring hope for the future and leading America with love and strength,” Melania said.
That was the only campaign-related public statement provided in months, so one can only assume that behind the scenes is where she’s doing the bulk of encouraging her husband to be best.
Kenzie Bryant
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