Home Alone Mitch Murphy

As the obsession with Home Alone only grows stronger with each passing year, it’s been studied almost like a hallowed text. And technically, it is, if one were to read it in its screenplay form (which, never forget, was written by the incomparable John Hughes). But visually, it’s not difficult to see that the entire reason for the chaos that ensues when the McCallister family forgets Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) at home is because of the busybody neighbor kid known as Mitch Murphy (Jeffrey Wiseman), who unwantedly steps onto the scene. That scene being the exterior of the McCallister home as the two drivers tasked with loading up the vans with everyone’s luggage get to work while the scrambling McCallisters inside do their best to haul ass to the car so they won’t miss their flight to Paris (having overslept because, unbeknownst to them, strong winds caused a power outage during the night that disconnected their alarm clocks—ah, a time before one’s alarm was on their smartphone).

Amid this sense of franticness, Mitch appears at the worst possible moment, all “doo-duh-doo-duh-doo” as he approaches one of the drivers to say, “Hi, I’m Mitch Murphy. I live across the street.” As if either one of these working stiffs gives a shit. Hence, when Mitch tries to give a handshake to the driver who is transferring the luggage from the driveway into the van, the driver totally ignores him. And is also likely vexed by the lack of respect or consideration for a man who’s just trying to get his job done. A real working-class type who’s probably slightly disgusted with the privilege he’s witnessing at the McCallisters (though, to be fair, the McCallisters aren’t soprivileged as to be able to pay for a limo and/or Lincoln Town Car instead of a shuttle), and in general in his line of work. So when Mitch continues to prattle on, “You guys going out of town? We’re going to Orlando, Florida,” it understandably makes the driver bristle. Because Mitch is so privileged, he can’t fathom the idea that there are people who don’t get to go on vacation during the holidays, let alone take a holiday at all. So it is that he keeps rambling, “Well, actually, first we’re going to Missouri to pick up my grandma. Did you know that the McCallisters are going to France? Do you know if it’s cold there? Do these vans get good gas mileage?” The driver finally snaps, “Gee kid, I don’t know. Hit the road!”

Director Chris Columbus then cuts back to the frenzy going on inside the house as everyone runs around like a chicken with its head cut off. Kate McCallister (Catherine O’Hara) then shouts at her niece, Heather (Kristin Minter), as she’s going down the stairs and Heather’s going up, “Heather, do a head count! Make sure everyone’s in the van.” So it is that “the setup” for the core mishap/driving force of the movie continues, having already been established the night before, when Kevin was exiled to the attic to sleep after causing an uproar by pushing his older brother, Buzz (Devin Ratray), into the counter and creating a domino effect kind of spillage that ended up getting a pile of certain family members’ passports all wet. In the ensuing tiff between Kevin and his mother, who marches him up to the attic, Kevin insists, “I don’t want to see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don’t want to see anybody else either.” He truly wishes his family would disappear after the way he’s been treated by them during Uncle Frank (Gerry Bamman) and co.’s stay at their house as they prepare to fly to Paris together. To his surprise, the next morning, he gets his wish, awakening to the entire house being blissfully empty.

And all because of Mitch Murphy, who kept stalking the van to the bitter end, at one point even sitting in the front seat with the driver and pestering, “How fast does thing go? Does it have automatic transmission? Does it have four-wheel drive?” The driver again expresses his disdain for this random-ass neighbor kid’s presence by responding, “Look, I told you before kid, don’t bother me. Now beat it!”

Mitch, needless to say, does not beat it, persisting in snooping around the van and looking in people’s bags, apparently wowed by a camera he picks up after riffling through one of them. Meanwhile, Heather has now asked everyone to line up in front of the van for the head count she was commanded to take by Kate. But, of course, since Mitch is there with his back turned, Heather makes the grave error of including him in their family tally, being checked off as “nine” by Heather while Mitch is in the midst of unearthing a yo-yo inside the luggage to be distracted and dazzled by.

So it is that, satisfied with the job she’s done, Heather instructs half of the brood, supposedly totaling eleven (that is, if Kevin had actually been there), to get in one van, and the other half to get in another. As they obey, Mitch walks blatantly past all of them, with Linnie (Angela Goethals), Kevin’s older sister, overtly clocking his presence more than anyone, but not “seeming” to realize that he was just playing Kevin’s body double (so maybe she should bill herself as part of what the French would call les incompétents too). And when Mitch further makes his presence known by saying, “Have a good trip! Bring me back something French!” as he walks away, no one in the group bothers to acknowledge him then either. To put together that hewas the person taking Kevin’s place in front of the van. And all because of his busybody nature, rolling up to the McCallister house unannounced and sniffing around where he wasn’t wanted.

As a result, Kevin and the rest of his family (though mostly Kate), are made to needlessly suffer throughout the rest of the movie. And indeed, it’s a viable argument to say that there would be no movie at all without Mitch Murphy fucking up the head count because he couldn’t keep his nose out of other people’s business. Thereby setting off a chain reaction of trauma for multiple people, though especially Kevin. At the same time, there are some who might posit that Mitch’s act of invasiveness is what ultimately spurred Kevin’s personal growth, his character arc. For, at the outset of the film, he was being mocked by his sister, Megan (Hillary Wolf), who tells him, “You’re completely helpless. Everyone has to do everything for you.” Jeff (Michael C. Maronna, before he was Pete Wrigley), his older brother, readily concurs, leaving Kevin to feel exposed and attacked by his own family yet again. However, once he’s left to his own devices, he has no choice but to “figure shit out.”

Of course, attempting to wield that assumption today about a child with no internet to tell them how to live would likely be a fatal mistake. But then, one would be hard-pressed to find the same kind of child busybody as they once existed in forms like Mitch. With most children too dulled and numbed by a screen to express much in the way of detrimental-to-others curiosity.