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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋
Hey, are you a hungry Portlander (or perhaps a sad, federal agent who has been forced to come to Portland to police a bunch of happy families biking on a sunny day, or ducks pecking at nuts that have fallen on the street)? Well, you’re in luck, because the Mercury‘s absolutely delicious WING WEEK starts TODAY, Monday, September 29, and runs through this coming Sunday! Get ready to drool over a plate of delectable, creative wings cooked up by some of the best restaurants and bars in Portland… and they’re only $10 per plate! Check out the hot pics of all those gorgeous wings here, and get ready… because now I’m deploying the hottest NEWS of the day!
breaking: trump orders troops to portland to “try portland wing week”
— Fischer 🛠️🚇 (@fischer.bsky.social) September 27, 2025 at 9:16 AM
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• ICYMI on Friday, city leaders called a hasty press conference to announce that President Dipshit deployed additional federal agents (and threatened to send additional troops as well) to what he hilariously called “war ravaged” Portland. While the supposed purpose of the deployment was to protect his sensitive, snowflake ICE agents from the city’s “Antifa and domestic terrorists” (AKA about two dozen regular peaceful protesters, some of whom wear animal costumes), we all know the REAL REASON he’s doing this, right? Answer: It’s a desperate attempt to distract his gullible base from his most recent embarrassments, such as a) the Epstein files, b) the disintegrating economy, c) malfunctioning escalators, d) his absolutely terrible polls, e) an embarrassingly poor speech in front of the UN, and f) fuck Donald Trump. In a social media post from Saturday, the president authorized his agents to use “full force, if necessary”—but as we know from his past failed attempts to police the “crime-ridden” blue cities of Washington, DC, and Los Angeles, his foot soldiers will most likely spend most of their time scrolling on their phones and picking up garbage. (Hey, guys! You missed a spot! 🗑)
• And sure enough, on Sunday morning, “Secretary of War” and former Fox News anchor 🙄 Pete Hegseth issued a memo commandeering 200 members of the Oregon National Guard to be deployed in Portland for a period of 60 days. And about three seconds after that? Oregon Attorney General Dan Rayfield launched a lawsuit challenging the order, and asked for an emergency restraining order to stop the troops from coming to Portland. The Acting Vice Chief of the National Guard Bureau, Timothy L. Rieger, ordered the head of Oregon’s National Guard to mobilize the troops immediately and that “failure to mobilize sufficient forces quickly to address the situation may risk lives and property damage.” Apparently no one in the Trump administration realizes that, on average, only 30 people have been showing up at the SW Macadam ICE facility to peacefully protest—that is until they issued this ridiculous order, which inspired HUNDREDS to join the ongoing demonstration on Sunday. (File this under “fuck around and find out.”)
Hundreds rallying at the Portland ICE facility chanting “shame” as federal agents retreat into the building.
— Kevin Foster (@kevinhfoster.bsky.social) September 28, 2025 at 4:49 PM
• A separate rally also attracted an estimated 2,000 people to Portland’s waterfront park yesterday, where demonstrators waved signs and listened to speakers such as Mayor Keith Wilson and Governor Tina Kotek, who once again lambasted the Trump administration for their idiotic political posturing, encouraged Portland demonstrators to “not take the bait,” and (in Kotek’s case) correctly label Trump’s actions as “bullshit.”
Governor Tina Kotek and Mayor Keith Wilson both present at a protest against Trump’s plans to deploy National Guard troops to Portland. “Oregonians know this is bullshit,” Kotek says.
— Taylor Griggs (@taylorgriggs.bsky.social) September 28, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Mercury staff
• Soon after, due entirely to the thoughtless actions of the dipshit-in-chief, a tiny group of roughly 30 people grew to hundreds of yelling protesters at Portland’s ICE facility on Sunday evening. Reporter Kevin Foster was on the scene and noted that the protest was mostly peaceful, except when ICE agents began violently shoving demonstrators, firing pepper balls into the crowd, and badly macing one person while allowing a vehicle into the facility. Two known arrests were made (charged with third-and-fourth degree assault respectively), and a number of right-wing agitators—including media personalities and reporters from extreme outlets like The Post Millennial—arrived to stir up some shit… which included one of them allegedly punching a minor in the face.
• Also, ahem, taps mic:
I don’t want to hear anymore “Portland is dying” narrative or vague complaints about “ANTIFA” as the clarion call for action in the city. All of that led to Trump targeting us. Groups like People for Portland, associated right-wing media ecosystem, and political opportunists own this.
— Mitch Green (@councilorgreen.bsky.social) September 28, 2025 at 12:07 PM
IN OTHER LOCAL NEWS:
• After a loooong summer and then another grueling four weeks of waiting, the Oregon legislature is finally expected to give final approval today to the beleaguered transportation bill that Dems couldn’t pass during the last session. The $4.3 billion tax package, which many critics maintain still isn’t enough, is designed to fund road fixes and public transportation, while keeping mass layoffs at bay, by gradually raising taxes on gas and DMV services. In order for the bill to pass, Oregon Dems must have the vote of all of their 18 senators, since Republicans have (surprise!) fought it every inch of the way.
Portland City Council recently united around an effort to reinvigorate the city’s Vision Zero program, bringing traffic safety to the forefront for the first time in years. Will their efforts be enough to curb Portland’s epidemic of traffic violence?
— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) September 26, 2025 at 1:47 PM
• More info has been revealed surrounding the lawsuit which could hamper the deal to buy the Blazers: RAJ Sports—the owners of the Portland Thorns and Fire—have accused the Cherng family of backing out of their deal to join them in acquiring the Blazers, joining the group of financiers led by Tom Dundon instead. RAJ says that the Cherng’s entered into a exclusivity agreement that would bar them from engaging in any competing bids—and yet? According to the lawsuit, that’s exactly what they did when they ducked out of their deal to join Dundon’s gang of financiers, thereby sinking RAJ’s plan to purchase the Blazers. Whoever ends up with the winning offer must still be approved by the NBA to make it official.
• Looking for the latest update about the new mid-sized music venue being planned in the former Nordstrom space at the Lloyd Center Mall? Ryan Prado has this excellent Mercury report on the construction that’s underway, the projected opening date, and how it’s a race against time for the venue to open before a similarly-sized concert hall that’s being planned in the Central Eastside by the beleaguered concert promoter Live Nation and Ticketmaster.
Wake up, brain! It’s time for another super fun POP QUIZ PDX. In this week’s trivia quiz: More Trump insults, celebrity typewriters, boy band danger, and did the Rapture happen or did I sleep through it? 😴 (See how well YOU score!)
— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) September 25, 2025 at 10:03 AM
IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:
• At least four people are dead in Michigan after a gunman drove his car into a church, set it on fire, and went on a shooting spree Sunday. Eight other people attending the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Grand Blanc Township were wounded during the shooting, with one being in critical condition. The shooter—a 40-year-old Marine vet—is also dead after a confrontation with police, and authorities are still searching for a motive.
The Trump sign outside the shooter’s home has fueled heated speculation about his politics online, as authorities have yet to identify a motive for the attack.
trib.al/QCw78op
— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast.bsky.social) September 29, 2025 at 8:23 AM
• Well, shit… I’m two out of three!
🚨 New directive NSPM-7 targets “anti-capitalism,” “anti-Christian,” and “anti-American” opinions as indicators of extremist violence, authorizing an army of 4,000 counter-terrorism officers to prevent crimes that haven’t happened:
www.kenklippenstein.com/p/trumps-nsp…— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein.bsky.social) September 27, 2025 at 12:14 PM
• The threat of yet another government shutdown is looming this week, and King Dipshit is scheduled to sit down with leaders of both parties today—even after abruptly canceling a meeting with top Dems last week. The crux of the battle: Republicans want funding for more security (particularly following the killing of Charlie Kirk), while Dems want to protect the Affordable Care Act while reversing some of the cuts the GOP made to Medicaid this past summer. If the shutdown happens, non-exempt federal employees will be furloughed, and many federal offices across the country will be temporarily shut down. (Does this include ICE facilities? Hope so! 🤞)
• Autocrat-in-training Donald Trump is scheduled to meet with genocide creator and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to discuss a proposed peace plan for a ceasefire in Gaza and the release of hostages. Unfortunately for the president, Israel has a lot of “non-negotiable” demands and Trump just isn’t very good at his job, so the result will probably be nothing but another production of bad political theater.
Trump vows a 100% tariff on foreign films, threatening global collaboration and risking retaliation. Hollywood reels as streaming platforms face higher costs while U.S. theaters still struggle to recover from pandemic-era declines.
— tomwellborn3rd (@patriotprogressive.bsky.social) September 29, 2025 at 8:14 AM
• Latin superstar Bad Bunny (best known for such hits as “MIA,” “I Like It,” and “Me Porto Bonito”) has been selected to perform during the upcoming Super Bowl halftime show in February. This will be Bad Bunny’s only scheduled musical appearance in the United States, since he has refused to perform here out of fear his fans may become the target of ICE raids.
• And finally… me, jumping on the treadmill of the coming week.
@rundawggym Epic #onthisday #rundawg #mobiledoggym #dogexercise #bulldog ♬ original sound – RUN DAWG
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Wm. Steven Humphrey
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