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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋
Alright, meteorologists! You can take the week off, because we’re kicking off the fall season with a week of mostly sunny skies with the highs in the upper 70s and topping out at 85 on Tuesday. However! Meteorologists still need to stay up on current events, so they should definitely stick around for today’s NEWS.
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• As you recall from last week, Mayor Wilson announced that the city will be delivering a land use violation notice to ICE who has been using their Southwest Portland rental property to violate city rules and detain immigrants for more than 24 hours at a time. An investigation revealed they have broken this rule a whopping 25 times (that we know of), and if they choose not to rectify the situation there’s the chance they could be evicted. ANYWAY! When asked for their response, ICE spouted a bunch of ridiculous, Trump-style bullshit. “Another day, another sanctuary politician attempting to prevent the brave men and women of ICE from removing the worst of the worst, including rapists, murderers, pedophiles, and gang members from the U.S.,” squealed the clearly delusional federal racists. Oh, and while the Oregonian chose to simply repeat the feds’ clearly false and deeply immoral statement without any fact checking or pushback, our Taylor Griggs expertly dissected their many lies and supplied the receipts. (So you can probably guess which version of this article I think you should read.)
• Meanwhile, the people protesting ICE at their Portland facility have now become experts at fishing for pigs.
@teach_pdx portland dog park 9/20/25 #fyp #musicfestival #dogsoftiktok #portland #summermashup ♬ FUCK ICE 2 – MANNY SÁNCHEZ
• Trump won’t keep Portland’s name out of his mouth, spouting off once again about our city last Friday. When asked by reporters what he planned to do next in his recently announced war against antifa (or people like your grandparents who fought against fascism), he gurgled “Have you taken a look what’s happening in Portland? This has been going on for years. People out of control and crazy. We’re going to stop that pretty soon.” I mean, he’s right! This weekend alone, I saw at least 13 families riding by on their bikes, kids playing football in the park, and a family of ducks pecking at fallen nuts from the trees! THAT IS OUT OF CONTROL AND CRAZY. So as you can clearly see, even though crime stats are way down in Portland, and protesters at the city’s SW ICE facility are peaceful, Trump is not the delusional one… YOU ARE! (This message has been brought to you by “media companies who are now too scared of Trump to do their jobs and tell the truth.”)
• Oregonians are currently not feeling great about the economy and their personal finances, as a new poll from Oregon Consumer Justice and the Oregon Values and Beliefs Center finds that a full third of the state’s residents would not be able to cover a $400 emergency expense. That reflects a national trend as well, as 37 percent of Americans also say they’d probably have to borrow money if a several hundred dollar emergency arose. In Oregon, that breaks down among racial lines as well: 44 percent of white residents say they could afford a sudden $400 bill, while only only 28 percent of nonwhites say they could.
Here we go:
“One Washington lawmaker is even suggesting that the project may need to be ended or dramatically narrowed, and has contacted the Trump administration to suggest pulling back previously awarded federal funding.”
oregoncapitalchronicle.com/2025/09/22/i…
— Jonathan Maus (@jonathanmaus.bsky.social) September 22, 2025 at 7:44 AM
• Thousands of Blazer fans showed up at Pioneer Courthouse Square this weekend to welcome the return of Damian Lillard to the Portland Trail Blazers. “I’m excited to be back,” Lillard told his rabid fans as he took the stage for this welcome back event. “The love never changed and it’s going to continue to grow.” While Lillard will most likely sit out the upcoming season due to a torn Achilles tendon, he’s expected to still contribute by mentoring the younger players and buoying the spirits of the struggling team.
PDX Pop Now! turned 21 last weekend! We need free, all ages fests like this now more than ever! The three-day event was packed with a kooky-good lineup of local music, food, and activities 😍
Check out our breakdown of last weekend’s party below, see you next year 😎— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) September 19, 2025 at 1:44 PM
IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:
• White Christian Nationalists are using the murder of transphobic antisemite Charlie Kirk to label the right wing commentator as a martyr and to build even more power within the Republican party. As proof, thousands (including President Trump, Veep JD Vance, and Elon Musk) showed up for a public memorial service for Kirk in Arizona over the weekend, and while some speakers called for unity and forgiveness, others—like the ghoulish Nosferatu of the Trump administration, Stephen Miller—called for vengeance. (Trigger warning: The following quote may make you gag.) “The day that Charlie died, the angels wept, but those tears have been turned into fire in our hearts,” Miller said. “And that fire burns with a righteous fury that our enemies cannot comprehend or understand.” 🙄 (Is it just me, or does Stephen Miller seem like the type of guy who always smells like onions?)
President Donald Trump once again appeared to confuse countries in a boast over the weekend about how many wars he has supposedly ended and how deserving he is of the Nobel Peace Prize.
— Raw Story (@rawstory.com) September 22, 2025 at 7:30 AM
• Meanwhile in other King Fool news: Trump continue to pressure his woefully unqualified Attorney General Pam Bondi to investigate and punish all his enemies. When asked to name those who should be held accountable, he simply said, “Everybody.” [Smash cut to Bondi, who stared off into the distance as her soul slowly seeped from her body.] In other news, Trump—who could have been a doctor, and the best doctor there ever was—is also expected to announce today that Tylenol should not be taken by pregnant women because he (wrongly) thinks the drug is tied to autism. Naturally, a recent study by actual scientists and doctors on this very subject denies that claim… but in Trump’s defense, he’s a drooling moron. That’s it… that’s the defense.
• Trump’s new money-making scheme is causing a lot of confusion for documented immigrants. After the administration announced that he would be charging skilled foreign tech workers a $100,000 fee to purchase a H-1B visa so they could work in this country—because that’s what we need… fewer skilled workers—many documented immigrants working outside the country feared they wouldn’t be let back in without paying the exorbitant fee. This inspired the feds to slip on their Christian hand puppet, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt, to clarify the rule and tell these workers they would not be charged. (But quick! Get back into the country before they change their minds in 23 seconds!)
Tom Holland suffers concussion on set of Spider-Man: Brand New Day
— Guardian Australia (@australia.theguardian.com) September 21, 2025 at 9:26 PM
• Today in utter and blatant corruption: The federal investigation into Trump’s border czar, Tom Homan, has reportedly been shut down by the administration—even though he was caught red-handed accepting a bag with $50,000 in cash from undercover FBI agents last year. While Homan was caught on video accepting the bribe, FBI Director Kash Patel announced he was shutting down the investigation because they “found no credible evidence of any criminal wrongdoing.” 😑😑😑
• And finally… this is the vibe I’m asking everyone in Portland to commit to as we enter the work week.
@much #Jackblack ♬ original sound – MuchMusic
Wm. Steven Humphrey
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