End to the ‘black hole’ through support group

LAWRENCE — At the lowest point of his life, Kevin Skinner was able to find support and recognition in a community with the Samaritans of Merrimack Valley.

“I’m not saying (the thoughts) don’t come through my head,” Skinner said, “but we can say that without us worrying about it now.”

The Samaritans of Merrimack Valley hosts a support group for people who have attempted suicide. Skinner joked that it’s almost like an Alcoholics Anonymous but for suicide.

The suicide attempt survivor support group is for people over the age of 18 to connect with each other along similar experiences.

Suicide rates have increased by approximately 36% between 2000 and 2021, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Suicide was the cause of 48,183 deaths in 2021, which is about one death every 11 minutes.

The number of people who think about or attempt suicide is even higher.

For Skinner, it felt like a “black hole” inside of him. He had just moved back to Massachusetts, following working as a “key hire” for a start-up that lost all its funding.

“I was just feeling really down,” Skinner said. “You really don’t think rationally.”

Skinner, who attempted suicide in 2017, said he was focused on the moving truck arriving the next day. He thought of how his wife would get angry if she could not find a check to pay for the items.

Now, though, Skinner laughs about the situation, even calling it “a bit crazy.”

But Skinner said he is able to do that through the support and safety he feels with the Samaritans of Merrimack Valley.

“It’s a family,” Skinner said, adding that director Debbie Helms is the “mama bear.” “It’s just very comfortable to talk about it, and you just feel relieved.”

Some members hang outside the meetings, going to lunch or just being there for each other, he added. They laugh and cry together, with talks ranging from serious topics to just showing a video of cats becoming scared of pickles.

During the onset of the pandemic, Skinner said the group continued to be there for one another on Skype.

Skinner, who did not want his photo taken, even recalled how important the group was to one woman who asked, “What will they think of me in the group” if she were to attempt again. That extra pause helped, he said.

Suicide was among the top nine leading causes of death for people between the ages of 10 and 65 in 2021, according to the CDC. It was the second leading cause of death for people ages 10 to 14 and 20 to 34.

For every suicide death in the past year, there were about 38 self-reported suicide attempts as well as 265 people who seriously considered suicide, according to an Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration national survey in 2021.

The CDC estimates that 12.3 million American adults seriously thought about suicide in 2021, 3.5 million planned an attempt, and 1.7 million actually attempted suicide.

“I just feel for people who have to go through it,” Skinner said. “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I’m lucky that it wasn’t a permanent solution.”

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a hotline for people in crisis or for those looking to help someone else. To speak with a certified listener, call 1-800-273-8255.

Crisis Text Line is a texting service for emotional crisis support. To speak with a trained listener, text HELLO to 741741. It is free, available 24/7, and confidential.

To inquire about joining the survivor support group, call 978-327-6671 or complete the contact form at fsmv.org/suicide-prevention.

Follow Monica on Twitter at @MonicaSager3

Follow Monica on Twitter at @MonicaSager3