Music therapist Jack Stevens recalls a fond memory of one of the children he worked with at Holland Bloorview. “When I met her she wouldn’t speak to me, or to her parents in the room,” he says. “But by the end of the 10 weeks, she was grabbing the microphone from me and singing her heart out to Disney songs at full volume.”
Jack came to Holland Bloorview in 2022 as a music therapy student from Wilfred Laurier University. Since the spring he’s been working here as a music therapist part-time. But his connection to the hospital goes way back.
“I grew up in a family where I was a sibling of someone with a disability,” he says. “My sister Ruby was a regular here in the Autism Research Centre. I saw how difficult it can be growing up with a disability, not only for the person, but as a family member as well. I had a quasi-parental role with my sister, who was four years younger than me, and I didn’t realize until recently how it’s shaped my view of the world. I’m very much a caregiver kind of person, and wanting to help people is a big passion of mine.”
Jack chose a career that combined his desire to help others with his love of music. “I grew up playing guitar from the age of six,” he says. “My parents thought I was too shy and needed something to hide behind so I could make friends. It did actually work.”
He went to high school for musical theatre and then on to a new community music program at Laurier. “It was more focused on how does music make you feel, how can it evoke social change, how can you use it in your everyday life, and how can we make it more accessible,” he says. This was a departure from his music lessons growing up, which were about practising with sheet music until you could play a piece perfectly.
Today, “it’s watching kids get to explore and play wrong notes—because there are no wrong notes,” that brings him the most joy. “I want them to dive completely into the creative process and learn what sounds they like and how fast or slow they want to play.”
Jack runs a number of groups at Holland Bloorview designed for toddlers up to young adults. Glee focuses on singing popular and musical theatre songs and Accentuate the Positive is more exploratory and creative, playing rhythm games with drums or creating a sonic environment. “One client takes the subway every day and wanted to recreate the sounds of the subway train,” Jack says. “There were whistles, bells and drums to mimic the train on the track.”
Children work on a variety of goals, including improving their social, gross and fine-motor skills. “I’ve found a lot of people who are in and out of hospitals become used to their treatment being done to and for them, and my philosophy is I want to make it fun,” Jack says. “I want them to know I’m doing this with them, it’s a collaborative effort, and there’s often a shift in sessions when they realize ‘I have a say in what’s going on here.’”
Being flexible is important. “When you’re working with kids, things don’t always go as planned,” Jack says. “Within the first five minutes I may have to throw out the entire session I’d planned because a child wants to do something different.” Debriefing with other music therapists who are also early on in their career helps. “It’s nice to go into the office and say ‘Guys, guess what just happened?’”
Jack works out at a club three to four times a week as a way of managing stress. “It helps me calm myself and get that extra energy and emotion out.”
Jack’s sister Ruby, who has autism and a physical disability, just won a gold medal at the Parapan American games in Santiago for Canada’s para swim team. “I’m her number one fan and we were there crying in the stands,” he says.
Growing up, Jack didn’t meet other siblings of kids with disabilities. He didn’t know it was common for siblings to feel left out when so much attention goes to their brother or sister. “It’s only recently I’ve recognized that I’m also an individual with needs and wants and desires and they are just as important,” he says. “I’m allowed to exist outside my family and that’s been a big struggle for me.” He participates in a group chat with other adult siblings for support. “I find a lot of comfort in knowing it’s okay for me to feel the different emotions I do, and to know other people have had similar experiences.”
In addition to working with kids at Holland Bloorview, Jack has contracts with long-term care facilities and group homes. But he enjoys working with children the best. “With kids it’s acceptable to be a little sillier. I joke all the time and I can bring more of myself into a session when I’m working with younger people. That fills my cup.”
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In a country whose economy depends to a great degree on hype, it’s not surprising that school grades have been swept into the mix. There’s been concern about grade inflation – students getting better grades than the same work might have earned years ago. But my concern is due to the inflation and hype over the importance of grades in education these days.
Many young people are in the midst of college application mania or are waiting for news from their chosen colleges. And I have been a resentful participant in this mania, during my son’s critical junior year, the year in which students need to achieve a certain grade point average and set of SAT scores for many colleges. I have felt like a hyperactive border collie nipping at my son’s heels to get him to take care of every little step in this questionable process.
High schools prize grades over personal qualities. (Phot credit: Susan DeMersseman)
I am having panic attacks on behalf of our son during the college search
I know there are many students who have their own panic attacks and stress reactions. In our house I seemed to be having them for my son. On the other hand, I know of households in which the craziness is a family affair.
Being able to make us worry seems to be the mark of success for any modern advertising campaign: worry about thinning hair, indigestion, and emerging wrinkles. If we don’t worry, we don’t buy. We are made to worry, so that all the SAT preparation programs will have customers. So that colleges can have so many applicants that they can reject more and advertise how selective they are.
My son and I once discussed this issue, and his perspective was, “High school seems to be about grades; college is about learning.”
High school seems to be about getting into college
Unfortunately, I can see why he might draw that conclusion. He has had some good teachers in high school and has learned some content. But he has also learned to focus more on classes where the grade is most important for college admission, and to focus less on classes where the content may be valuable but is less critical for college admission.
What is lost in this process is hard to measure.
Some of the things that make him a fine person and a great candidate for college are not ones you get grades for. Otherwise, he’d get an “A” for navigating a huge, diverse high school and making friends in every group. An “A” for occasionally stepping in to protect another student in a way that helped to resolve a conflict.
There are a lot of non-academic things my son would get an “A” in
He’d get an “A” for bouncing back from disappointments. An “A” for practicing daily with a football team on which he knew he would probably never get playing time. An “A” for optimism and enthusiasm. An “A” for common sense and good judgment. And most important – an “A” for patience with his mother as she struggles – not always calmly – to help him deal with a very flawed system.
I haven’t really had the opportunity as an adult to travel with someone else. I’ve gone to visit people, and I’ve gone with my children, but that isn’t the same as two adults traveling together building memories. The one trip I had planned like that got canceled thanks to COVID. But some people have travel as the basis of many of their relationships, and that seems really beautiful and something I’d love to do. Here are some ways traveling with someone can strengthen your relationships.
Travel is not merely a journey from one place to another; it is a transformative experience that has the power to strengthen relationships in profound ways. Whether it’s a romantic getaway, a family vacation, or an adventure with friends, the bonds formed during travel are unique and lasting. In this article, we explore how travel contributes to building better relationships, the art of making memories on the road, and the transformative impact of shared journeys on our connections with others.
How does travel help to build better relationships?
Travel takes us out of our familiar surroundings and routines, providing an opportunity for shared exploration and discovery. The challenges and joys of navigating a new destination together create a shared narrative that forms the foundation of a stronger connection. Shared experiences, whether navigating a bustling market in Marrakech or hiking to a breathtaking summit, create a bond that goes beyond the ordinary.
How do you make memories while traveling?
Memories made during travel are often the most vivid and cherished. Whether it’s capturing a beautiful sunset, indulging in local cuisine, or navigating through the maze-like streets of an ancient city, these moments become the building blocks of shared history. The key is to be present, to immerse oneself in the experience, and to create opportunities for spontaneous, unscripted moments that will be remembered for a lifetime.
How does traveling bring people together?
Travel breaks down barriers and fosters a sense of camaraderie. Shared challenges, such as navigating a foreign language or figuring out public transportation, create a sense of teamwork. The shared triumphs and even the occasional mishaps become stories that are retold with laughter, deepening the connection between travel companions.
How does travel affect relationships?
The impact of travel on relationships is transformative. It provides a fresh perspective, offering new insights into each other’s preferences, strengths, and even quirks. It breaks the monotony of daily life, injecting a sense of adventure and novelty into the relationship. The memories created during travel become touchstones, reminding us of the joy of shared exploration and the strength of the bonds formed on the road.
As you embark on your next journey, consider the profound impact travel can have on your relationships. Stay tuned for the next segment, where we delve deeper into the art of making lasting memories while traveling.
Crafting Lasting Memories: The Art of Making Moments While Traveling
While the allure of travel lies in discovering new landscapes and cultures, it is the moments shared with loved ones that truly make the journey unforgettable. Here are some tips on how to intentionally create lasting memories during your travels:
Immerse Yourself in the Local Culture: One of the most enriching aspects of travel is the opportunity to experience different cultures. Engage with locals, try their traditional foods, and participate in cultural activities. These shared experiences will create memories that go beyond the surface of a destination.
Capture Moments, Not Just Photos: While snapping photos is a natural part of travel, it’s essential to balance documenting the journey with being present in the moment. Take the time to absorb the scenery, enjoy the company of your travel companions, and savor the unique atmosphere of each place you visit.
Step Outside Your Comfort Zone: Travel is an adventure, and adventures often involve stepping outside of your comfort zone. Whether it’s trying a new activity, exploring an unfamiliar neighborhood, or embracing a local tradition, pushing boundaries together strengthens the bonds between travel companions.
Plan Special Activities: Consider incorporating activities that hold personal significance for your group. Whether it’s a cooking class, a hiking excursion, or a visit to a historical site, these shared activities create a sense of connection and provide opportunities for shared enjoyment.
Transformative Power of Shared Journeys: Bringing People Closer Together
Traveling together has a unique way of breaking down barriers and fostering a deeper understanding between individuals. Here are some ways in which the act of traveling itself brings people closer:
Shared Challenges Create Unity: Navigating the unfamiliar terrain of a new destination often comes with its own set of challenges. From deciphering local transportation to overcoming language barriers, these challenges create opportunities for teamwork and problem-solving, strengthening the bonds between travel companions.
Quality Time Uninterrupted: In the hustle and bustle of daily life, finding uninterrupted quality time can be a challenge. Travel provides the perfect setting for focused, quality time, allowing for meaningful conversations and shared experiences without the distractions of everyday routines.
Celebrating Triumphs and Learning from Mishaps: Every journey comes with its highs and lows. Whether it’s successfully reaching the summit of a challenging hike or navigating a bustling market, these shared triumphs and even the occasional mishap become stories that deepen the connection between individuals.
In the next segment, we’ll explore the profound impact of travel on relationships and how these shared memories continue to resonate long after the journey has ended. Stay tuned for insights into how travel can enrich and strengthen your connections with those you hold dear.
Personalized Travel Packages offer the perfect canvas for creating these meaningful moments. Begin your journey toward stronger relationships through unforgettable experiences.
The Lasting Impact: How Travel Enriches Relationships
As the saying goes, “It’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey.” Nowhere does this ring truer than in the realm of relationships. Travel has a profound and lasting impact on the connections we share with others. Here’s a closer look at how the echoes of travel continue to resonate in our relationships:
Fresh Perspectives and Insights: Travel offers a change of scenery not only externally but internally as well. Stepping outside the familiar provides fresh perspectives on life, allowing individuals to see each other in new and exciting ways. Shared adventures lead to a deeper understanding of each other’s values, preferences, and strengths.
Injecting Adventure into Everyday Life: The memories created during travel act as a reservoir of shared experiences that can be drawn upon during everyday life. Even routine activities can be infused with a sense of adventure when viewed through the lens of past travels. This injection of excitement into the mundane fosters a continuous sense of connection.
Nurturing a Sense of Teamwork: From planning the itinerary to navigating the intricacies of a foreign city, travel often requires teamwork. These collaborative efforts create a sense of partnership and mutual support that extends beyond the trip itself. Couples and companions learn to rely on each other, solidifying their bond.
Revisiting Shared Moments: The photo albums and souvenirs collected during travels become tangible reminders of the adventures shared. Revisiting these mementos allows individuals to relive the joy, laughter, and even the challenges faced together. These shared memories serve as a testament to the strength of the relationship.
Seal the Bond with Personalized Travel Packages
For those seeking to embark on journeys that strengthen relationships, personalized travel packages offer a tailored approach to creating meaningful experiences. Whether it’s a romantic escape, a family adventure, or a trip with friends, personalized packages cater to the unique preferences and interests of the travelers.
Personalized Travel Packages from Going Your Way Travel provide a seamless blend of adventure and comfort, ensuring that every moment of your journey is crafted with care. Explore destinations that resonate with your group and create memories that will weave into the fabric of your relationships.
In conclusion, the transformative power of travel extends far beyond the time spent on the road. It becomes a tapestry of shared moments, challenges overcome, and the joy of discovery, weaving a narrative that strengthens the bonds between individuals. As you plan your next adventure, consider not only the destinations you’ll explore but the lasting impact these journeys will have on the relationships that matter most.
You’re all set with your college student’s dorm supplies, dorm decorations, and meal plan. Now, it’s time to think about one of the most important parts of their university journey: their textbooks for class! (That’s kind of the whole reason they’re in college, after all.) We found the best college textbook websites to make stocking up on essential reading material easier.
College textbooks are famously (and inexplicably) expensive. And if you’re looking for a good deal, the campus bookstore probably isn’t the best place to find it. But we’ve done the research on the best college textbook websites—from Chegg to Amazon to Barnes & Noble—whether you’re looking for rentals, ebooks, or resales.
Return Policy: Within 21 days for physical books; 10 days for ebooks
Shipping: 1-10 business days, free shipping on orders $35+
Chegg is kind of the spot for cheap college textbooks. It sells pretty much every textbook that a university or community college student might need, and is one of the few retailers on this list that reliably offers ebook textbooks in addition to physical textbook purchases and rentals. Many of the textbooks it sells are listed at a whopping 90% discount from their retail price—a great way to save on something that may or may not be used all that much, depending on the whims of the professor.
Chegg also offers a subscription-based study service for $14.95/month that provides step-by-step answers for homework questions, exam prep, and breakdowns for tough concepts.
Shipping: Within 3-6 business days, free for all purchases over $40
Barnes & Noble isn’t just a place to browse novels and sip coffee. It’s also a great place to buy textbooks! The retailer sells new and used textbooks and allows rentals on some titles (only ones that can be “reused,” according to the retailer). You can also sell books back at the end of the semester by typing their ISBN numbers into its portal and getting a quote.
On the whole, prices aren’t quite as low as some other sellers, so it isn’t the cheapest college textbooks website. Still, it’s a great option if you want to buy textbooks from a name you recognize. Depending on where you live, you may be able to pick up your order in stores, too.
Shipping: Within 1-5 business days, free for orders over $25 and all Prime orders
Another household-name retailer that offers textbooks (with free Prime shipping to boot)? You guessed it—Amazon. Shop popular textbooks in all categories, from business to computer science to law, as you’re stocking up on twin XL sheets, shower shoes, and other dorm room necessities. Many textbooks are offered at Amazon’s characteristically low prices—and you can even get some ebook titles delivered to your Kindle.
One thing to note is that, as of April 1, 2023, Amazon no longer offers textbook rentals or buybacks. This means it’s best to use Amazon to buy books you’re planning to keep (or can sell in the campus bookstore or on Facebook Marketplace when the semester ends).
Shipping: Within 3-7 business days, free for orders over $35
eCampus claims to be the #1 textbook rental service—and it has a few standout features that show why. The retailer offers a price match guarantee against Amazon and Chegg, so you can get a refund if you order a textbook and see it offered for a lower price at one of those places. Keep in mind though that refund requests must be submitted within seven days of your order, so you’ll have to stay on top of it if you’d like to get your money back! Plus, reviewers say items ship fast and arrive in great shape.
Bookscouter is a service that scours other online booksellers—including Chegg, Amazon, Knetbooks, and more—to find the best price. You can rent or buy the books you find, then sell ‘em back at the end of the semester. Bookscouter’s site is much easier to navigate than some other old-school booksellers, and is ideal for anyone who wants to be 100% certain that they’re getting the best price possible.
Shipping: Within 1-10 business days, free for all orders
Looking to rent textbooks? Knetbooks may be the ideal option. The site prioritizes rentals (though you can also purchase many titles) and has great discounts on all kinds of textbooks. It also boasts free shipping on all orders, flexible rental timelines—whether you’re looking for a quarter, semester, or a year—and the ability to change up your return date if you need a bit more time with your time. You’ll also get text message reminders when your deadline is coming up.
One thing to note is that late fees can be expensive—they charge the full cost of the book (in addition to the rental fee you’ve already paid!) if it doesn’t arrive on its due date.
Return Policy: Yes, within 60 days of order ship date
Shipping: Within 1-10 business days, free for qualifying orders over $39
Alibris is a great source for all kinds of books—novels, cookbooks, children’s books, crafting books—but its bread and butter is textbooks. You’ll find new and used physical copies and ebooks for commonly-assigned texts at deep discounts. Most books on the site are sold by third-party users, but Alibris allows you to filter offerings based on retailers that offer free or expedited shipping, sellers with good ratings, rare or signed books, and the book’s condition.
Shipping: Within3-5 business days, $4 for the first book and $1 for every additional book
College Books Direct is one of the most established used textbook retailers out there, with more than 30 years in the biz. Its claim to fame? It only sells books it has in stock (that is, it doesn’t deal with third party retailers). This means that when you place an order, you can be sure that it’ll be fulfilled by College Books Direct.
The site’s biggest drawback is that it doesn’t offer free shipping. It’s $4 for the first book and $1 for every additional title, which means it could add up quickly. Still, if you’re able to find a textbook you need at a great price—which, based on the listings we saw, is quite likely—you can still save by shopping there.
Cheapest Textbooks is a one-stop shop for textbook and ebook purchases, rentals, and sales. It scans retailers across the web to find the best prices, plus shipping costs and whether any coupons are available. The site is easy to use, too. Just type in the ISBN, title, author name, or keyword for a holistic view of all the best prices and savings for the textbook you need.
Why You Can Trust Us
I’m Sara Hendricks, and I’ve been working as an ecommerce journalist and editor for more than five years. You can find my work in Reviewed/USA Today, Refinery29, Insider, and more. I’m passionate about testing and reviewing all kinds of products, from fitness to fashion, and finding the very best deals across a wide range of categories—including college supplies!
To find the best college textbook websites, I worked with the Grown and Flown team—the ultimate experts in parenting teenagers and young adults—to align on qualities the best college textbook websites should have. These include the range of titles available, prices and discounts listed, whether or not free shipping is available, whether they offer new and used books, rentals, and/or ebooks, and whether or not you can pick up the textbooks in stores. I also dove into customer reviews and ratings on sites like Trustpilot to ensure that all retailers featured on this list are legit.
Everything to Know Before Buying College Textbooks
Is It Better to Rent or Buy College Textbooks?
The decision to rent or buy your college textbooks depends on a few factors. The first one, of course, is cost — the upfront price of renting is often less expensive than buying textbooks, especially if they’re new. You can also try to buy used books to cut back on costs, though you may find unwanted markings and used books might not be available for newer editions. In addition to cost, you should also consider:
Will you need (or want) the book after the class is over? If you’re buying a textbook for a core requirement that doesn’t align with your long-term interests (like, say, an organic chemistry textbook when the plan is to major in econ), it’s probably safe to rent. But if the textbook is relevant to your goals—or may even be needed for a class in the future—you may be better off buying.
How likely is it that the book will be returned on time—and in good shape? Sure, renting is cheaper than buying. But that’s only true if you’re able to return the books on time with minimal wear and tear. Lose it, return it late, or accidentally rip off the front cover, and you may be paying some hefty fees in addition to the cost of the rental.
Why Are College Textbooks So Expensive?
Many college textbooks come at eye-bogglingly expensive prices. There are a few reasons for this. The big one is that there’s limited market competition for textbooks. Most are produced by four publishers—McGraw-Hill, Pearson, Wiley, and Cengage—which is close enough to a monopoly that they can kind of charge whatever they want.
Another reason is that lots of textbooks are “bundled” with supplemental material that can only be accessed online via a specific (sometimes one-time-use) code. This means that some textbooks have to be purchased new every time and cannot be rented or resold.
Are eBooks Cheaper Than Textbooks?
eBooks are often cheaper than physical textbooks—sometimes up to 40-50% less. This means they’re a great option if you want to save money, especially if you already have an e-reader or iPad that makes accessing the books easier. You also receive the textbooks immediately after purchasing them (rather than waiting for them to ship), which is another plus. However, some students prefer using a physical book to take notes or highlight. Having to use a laptop to access textbooks may require an internet connection and a power source—and tends to come with more distractions than a’ paper-and-cardboard textbook.
Are There Websites for Free College Textbooks?
Depending on the textbook you’re looking for, you may be able to access it for free. There are plenty of (perfectly legal) sites that provide digital copies of thousands of titles at no cost.
These include:
However, these sites come with a few downsides. One is that they don’t usually have new titles, so if you’re assigned a brand-new book—or new edition of a book—it may not be available. And if the book you’re assigned requires an access code to use it, you’ll be out of luck, too.
What Should You Do with Old College Textbooks?
Many students end up selling their used college textbooks. You may be able to do this at your campus bookstore, and we’ve noted which of the sites we recommend offer resale options. You may be able to donate your books, too. Check with your local library, thrift store, community center, or other organizations to see where they’re needed most.
It’s been a tough year and many families are feeling the pinch. Why not gift something to someone that makes a bigger impact? Here are some unique ways to give back to others this holiday season.
For 23 years now, the Montreal Science Centre’s Foundation’s mission has been crucial: to help future generations discover, understand, and appropriate science and technology to build their future. To continue its work, the Foundation relies on donations from both companies and individuals alike. Over 90% of the funds raised annually by the Foundation are reinvested in the financing and development of permanent exhibitions and school programs at the Montréal Science Centre. They offer free tickets to school groups and organizations in underprivileged areas. For the 2023-24 school year, over 4,000 tickets have already been distributed, allowing more than 1,000 special needs students to experience their Science Centre on the Road program in their classrooms.
As the holiday season approaches, the Montreal SPCA has gift ideas on the shared theme of solidarity with animals. You can help animals in need by purchasing children’s books, a calendar for the whole family, and clothing featuring their star rescue dog, Angie. Your donation could also be matched, in honour of a loved one. “2023 has been a busy year!” said Laurence Massé, executive director of the Montreal SPCA, in a media release. “We rescued animals affected by forest fires, found creative ways of responding to rising numbers of abandoned animals and conducted large-scale public awareness campaigns. From January through October, 12,070 animals came through our shelter and benefited from one of our programs.”
This year’s Collectible Starlight Bear comes just in time for the giving season. In partnership with Toys”R”Us Canada, Starlight Children’s Foundation Canada recently introduced Speedy, the 15th Anniversary Collectible Starlight Bear, which was designed, from the ears to the paws, by 6-year-old Christopher, who was born with arthrogryposis multiplex congenita (AMC). Speedy was inspired by Christopher’s love for race cars and Drive For Smiles – one of his favourite Starlight Canada events where he rides in super cool cars! Knowing that strength can be found in our uniqueness, the rainbow tie represents acceptance of all. Speedy’s dangly limbs symbolize Christopher’s own arms and leg being stuck in extension at birth, while the bright blue eyes are representative of AMC awareness. Proceeds from the sale of Speedy will help Starlight Canada continue to brighten the lives of seriously ill children and their families, just like Christopher’s. You can purchase Speedy at any Toys”R”Us Canada or Babies”R”Us Canada store or online at toysrus.ca.
As the holiday season approaches, Breakfast Club of Canada is launching its new Fuelling The Future with a nutritious breakfast campaign to highlight the importance of nourishing the potential of tomorrow’s adults, especially in a difficult current economic context. The campaign, which will also be broadcast across Rogers Sports & Media’s platforms as part of the ALL IN program, will run until December 31st. With the year drawing to a close, in Canada, one in three children is still at risk of going to school hungry. Demand and need for breakfast programs continue to grow, but for the time being, the Club will have to continue supporting existing programs due to the rising cost of food. To find out more about the campaign and donate, click here.
We live in an era where children prefer short video clips, podcasts, and audio snippets, instead of traditional written content. The question then arises: Is reading still relevant for children in today’s digital age?
Furthermore, what lies in the future for those who choose not to embrace the timeless practice of reading?
The truth is, beyond being a mere leisurely pursuit, reading is very important. It holds the key to cognitive enrichment, expansive imagination, and a deeper understanding of the world.
Still, the allure of the beloved visual and auditory content in the digital era cannot be dismissed, especially considering the prevalent short attention spans among the younger generations.
The Reality of Digital Allure Today
The rise of short video clips, podcasts, and audio snippets has reshaped the way information is consumed. The instant gratification provided by these mediums caters to the accelerated pace of modern life, which captures attention in bite-sized portions.
This shift has led to a transformation in how children engage with content, leaning towards more dynamic and visually stimulating formats.
Another noteworthy factor influencing this shift is the observable decrease in attention spans among today’s youth.
The constant barrage of information and stimuli has cultivated a preference for content that is quickly consumable and digested. In this environment, the traditional act of sitting down with a book may seem at odds with the rapid pace of digital engagement.
Should We Rethink the Role of Books: Are They Still Necessary?
Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA (Pexels)
Yes and yes …
1. Cognitive benefits of reading:
Reading books provides a cognitive workout that is unparalleled. Decoding written words on a page, understanding complex sentences, and grasping nuanced ideas stimulate cognitive functions. This process enhances language skills, critical thinking, and problem-solving abilities. This can lay a robust foundation for academic success.
Reading builds a cognitive processing infrastructure that then “massively influences” every aspect of our thinking – particularly our crystallized intelligence—a person’s depth and breadth of general knowledge, vocabulary, and the ability to reason using words and numbers.
The act of decoding written words on a page fosters language skills, critical thinking, and comprehension in ways distinct from interactive media.
The cognitive benefits associated with reading, especially in the formative years, cannot be easily replicated by digital counterparts.
2. Reading for the mind and empathy:
Books, with their ability to transport readers to different worlds and perspectives, play a unique role in nurturing imagination and empathy. Unlike screen-based experiences that often provide ready-made visuals, books encourage children to conjure mental images, fostering creativity and a deeper understanding of diverse human experiences.
3. Reading Cultivates Patience in an age of short attention spans:
In a world characterized by short attention spans, books provide an opportunity for children to develop patience and sustained focus. The immersive nature of a good book encourages them to invest time and effort in understanding a narrative over an extended period, fostering the valuable skill of concentration.
4. Reading for Imagination and creativity:
The immersive nature of a well-crafted story or informative text cannot be replicated by visual or auditory stimuli alone. Reading serves as a playground for the imagination.
Books, unlike many digital formats, require children to actively engage their imagination. The process of visualizing characters, settings, and scenarios based on written descriptions is great for creativity. This imaginative exercise not only enhances artistic abilities but also encourages innovative thinking. This is a skill that remains indispensable in navigating the complexities of the modern world.
5. Reading for Language proficiency:
One cannot overlook the impact of reading on language proficiency. While video and audio content provide auditory stimulation, they often lack the textual complexity that aids in expanding vocabulary and comprehension. Reading exposes children to diverse linguistic structures, enhancing their communication skills in ways that other mediums may fall short.
Exposure to well-written prose and varied genres contributes to linguistic development. A rich vocabulary not only aids in effective communication but also serves as a valuable asset in academic and professional pursuits.
What is the Fate of Those Who Skip Reading in the Digital Age?
As we peer into the future, inside the digital age, a scenario emerges for those who opt not to engage in the act of reading. The repercussions extend beyond a mere absence of a pleasurable pastime; rather, they touch upon various facets of personal development, societal participation, and professional success.
1. Limited Cognitive Development:
Individuals who choose not to read may experience limitations in cognitive development. Reading provides a unique mental workout, fostering critical thinking, problem-solving, and linguistic abilities. Those who neglect this exercise may find themselves at a disadvantage when it comes to navigating complex challenges in both personal and professional spheres.
2. Narrowed Perspectives About Life:
Reading exposes individuals to a multitude of perspectives, cultures, and experiences. For those who abstain, the world may appear narrower, with a limited understanding of diverse viewpoints. This can lead to a deficiency in empathy, hindering effective communication and collaboration in an increasingly interconnected global society.
3. Professional Limitations:
In many professions, strong reading and comprehension skills are essential. Those who neglect reading may find themselves ill-equipped to handle the demands of information-intensive careers. The ability to absorb, analyze, and synthesize information from written sources is often a key factor in professional success.
4. Limited Imagination and Creativity:
Reading serves as a catalyst for imagination and creativity. Individuals who forego this source of inspiration may find their creative well running dry. The inability to envision possibilities and think outside conventional boundaries could hinder innovation and inventive problem-solving.
5. Communication Challenges:
Reading contributes significantly to the development of verbal communication skills. Those who eschew reading may struggle with articulation, expressing ideas clearly, and using a diverse vocabulary. This could lead to challenges in effective communication, impacting personal relationships and professional interactions.
6. Reduced Educational Attainment:
A lack of reading can have cascading effects on educational attainment. Academic success often hinges on the ability to absorb and interpret written information. Without strong reading skills, individuals may face challenges in academic pursuits, limiting their access to higher education and subsequent career opportunities.
7. Missed Opportunities for Personal Enrichment:
Beyond the practical aspects, reading contributes to personal growth and enrichment. It offers avenues for self-discovery, emotional intelligence, and a deeper understanding of the human experience. Those who choose not to read may miss out on these transformative and fulfilling aspects of personal development.
8. Exclusion from Cultural Conversations:
As literature and written content play a crucial role in shaping cultural conversations, those who abstain from reading may find themselves excluded from these dialogues. Being uninformed about current events, societal issues, and cultural trends could lead to a sense of detachment from the broader collective consciousness.
How to Balance Reading Culture in Harmony with Digital Age
Photo by Christina Morillo (Pexels)
As technology continues to redefine how we consume information, integrating the timeless practice of reading in the digital age is key to fostering a well-rounded and literate society.
Here are practical strategies to achieve harmony between a thriving reading culture and the ever-evolving digital age:
1. Integrative Multimodal Learning
When we acknowledge the prevalence of short attention spans in today’s youth, it becomes imperative to strike a balance. Rather than pitting reading against video and audio content, a harmonious approach involves integrating various modes of learning. For example, platforms offering multimedia content with accompanying text provide a holistic learning experience.
2. Promote a Lifelong Love for Learning
While acknowledging the appeal of visually stimulating content, it is crucial to instill a love for reading from an early age. Encouraging children to explore the vast world of literature ensures that they develop a habit that can last a lifetime. This love for learning becomes a compass, that guides them through the ever-evolving landscape of information and knowledge.
3. Embracing a Rich Tradition
Reading has been an integral part of human civilization. It has shaped many minds and fostered creativity for centuries. Esteemed writers and inventors from the past, such as Mark Twain, J.K. Rowling, and Thomas Edison, extolled the virtues of reading as a foundational element for intellectual development. Their works stand as testaments to the transformative power of words on the human mind.
4. Build a Foundation for Critical Thinking
In a world inundated with rapid-fire information, the ability to critically evaluate content becomes paramount. Reading fosters this crucial skill by encouraging a slower, thoughtful engagement with ideas. Unlike the fleeting nature of video and audio content, a book or article invites the reader to pause, reflect, and develop a deeper understanding of the subject matter.
The Last Word: A Word for the Wise Child
As we weave our way around the complexities of the digital age, let us not forget the power of words – as extolled through reading. These can shape minds, promote creativity, and instill a love for learning.
It is essential to recognize that the merits of reading and the allure of audio-visual digital content can coexist harmoniously. Reading, with its rich tradition and proven benefits, remains a timeless pursuit that complements the digital landscape.
As a child, middle school completely overwhelmed me. There were higher academic expectations, new interests and extracurriculars, a much wider and more intimidating social landscape, physical and hormonal changes, and a developing sense of self with which to reckon. Add to this madness a cocktail of executive dysfunction, impulsivity, distractibility, high emotional sensitivity, and hyperfocus — all due to undiagnosed ADHD — and my distaste for middle school is understandable.
Oh, did I mention that I started middle school in a new town? I felt like I had been thrown into shark-infested waters. The one person I happened to know at my new school immediately shunned me because of my ADHD-fueled obsession with Treasure Trolls (it was the ‘90s, after all). My backpack heavily featured the wild-haired, bejeweled dolls, and it was socially disadvantageous to be seen with someone toting such a juvenile accessory. Cue intense rejection sensitive dysphoria.
I did have teachers with reasonable expectations who seemed to care, but I was an undiagnosed student and, although I worked unbelievably hard to maintain a 4.0 most of the time (because, anxiety), my teachers did not temper their disapproval when I misplaced a textbook, forgot an assignment, absent-mindedly wrote on a desktop, or impulsively left my seat. Being made to scrub all the surfaces in the science lab after class under the glare of an adult authority figure I respected caused me no small amount of shame and self-loathing.
Today, I’m the parent of a new middle schooler with ADHD, which is why my own memories of middle school awkwardness and growing pains are flooding back. But I’m using my middle school experiences to help my child transition to a new academic stage with the least amount of stress possible. Here’s what helped him – and us – so far.
Tips for Middle School Newcomers
1. Strengthen existing friendships. My son formed some sweet friendships throughout the fourth and fifth grades. Though many of his friends joined him in his new middle school, we prioritized facilitating time with them outside of school and during the summer before sixth grade. This enabled him to solidify those bonds before middle school rocked the proverbial boat.
2. Sign up for extracurriculars and focus on interests. My son signed up for his new school’s swim team, and he plays trombone for the sixth-grade band. The benefits are three-fold: He gets to partake in activities he enjoys while getting to know other kids who share his interests, which would be more difficult to do otherwise in a school that is more than twice of size of his previous one. The activities he chose also happen to help him regulate his emotions and obsessive behaviors.
3. Establish habits and routines. Despite our best efforts to anticipate the demands of middle school and advise our son accordingly, it hasn’t been smooth sailing. For example, in the beginning of the school year, there were several Sunday nights when my son would suddenly (and anxiously) remember that he had assignments due the following morning that he had yet to begin. It occurred to us then that his teachers no longer required him to keep an agenda for class, which was an expectation in elementary school. While some students probably rejoiced in no longer having to record their assignments, the loss of this invaluable tool was causing my son’s previously successful school routine to break down.
I know that paper planners are essential for my own day-to-day functioning as an adult with ADHD, so we bought my son a paper planner (our county no longer provides them for middle schoolers) and got him back into the habit of adding his assignments here at the end of every class and checking his agenda as soon as he got home. To reinforce the habit, I checked his agenda every day for the first two weeks to make sure that he was using it, and I signed each entry, as his teachers had required us to do in elementary school. Now, he manages his assignment book on his own and has learned that, for those of us with ADHD, habits and routines, while tedious, are our friends.
4. Ride a few waves on your own. So far, middle school has been an exercise in finding tools and strategies that work for our son and encouraging him to use them independently. Gaining a sense of autonomy is an important part of growth, but striking a balance between guiding our pre-teens and giving them ownership of their school experience is tricky. We don’t want to let them drown, but it’s okay – healthy even – to let them ride a few waves on their own. In fact, it’s imperative that they do.
5. Be patient and give yourself grace. At the end of a long day away from us, my son (and all middle schoolers) need a safe space to decompress, express their emotions, engage in their interests, and… play! Our kids are now pre-teens who have body hair, wear deodorant, and will soon be taller than their moms, but they’re still kids — and they need our patience and understanding during this critical juncture in their young lives.
How to Survive Middle School with ADHD: Next Steps
CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.
What are the holidays without a few, just-for-fun presents for everyone on your list? Here are our best gift ideas for the holidays for your teens, college kids, and young adults, too.
Note: We receive small amounts of compensation from purchases made through some of the links on this page.
The Comfy is the original wearable blanket, so your teen can stay warm and cozy wherever they are: watching TV, playing video games, working on their laptop, studying in the dorms, camping, attending a sporting event, and more. Comes in 19 colors.
Many cars don’t have a place for women to leave their purses. The solution: a purse hook for easy hanging on the back of the seat. Now your daughter will not have to leave her bag on the floor. Plus, it can also be used to hang jackets, backpacks, and more.
If they share a room with a roommate and want to study or read late at night, a reading light is ideal for not keeping their roommate awake with the big light. This reading light offers 3 colors, 6 brightness levels, bendable arms, is rechargeable, and is long-lasting. This can also be used for camping, travel, and more.
This hooded stadium blanket is waterproof and windproof. It can withstand extreme cold, strong wind and other weather. It will keep your teen warm, comfortable, and dry at all times. It comes in 17 colors and is machine washable.
If your teen loves coffee, they can make the most delicious lattes in the morning with a frother, to make their milk extra creamy. It can also be used for cappuccinos, hot chocolate, matcha, or powdered drinks.
For a more gentle way to wake up, this sunrise alarm clock offers a sunrise simulation light with 7 natural sounds, gradually from 10% brightness to 100%, 30 minutes before alarm time. It also doubles as a bedside/reading light. Plus, there are many color lights to choose from, including blue, indigo, purple, red, orange, yellow, and green.
For getting rid of flies or mosquitoes in a dorm or apartment, an electric fly swatter is the best solution. It is compact and lightweight and will kill the bug instantly. It comes with batteries, so it is ready to use.
For staying warm on those freezing cold days, a heated jacket is ideal. This one has 3 heating levels to generate consistent heat for 9 core body parts, including the neck, back, abdomen, and waist, helping to maintain body warmth, and promotes blood circulation.
Turn tap water into sparkling water in less than 30 seconds with this fizzy drink machine. Intuitive LED lights help measure the level of carbonation from light, medium, or heavy fizz.
For a more fun and unique way to cook, this rotating tray oven turns continuously to ensure even baking and saves as much as 60% in energy compared to a conventional oven. It is a fast and easy way to bake frozen, homemade, take-and-bake, and deli pizza, but can also be used to cook chicken nuggets, fish fillets, egg rolls, cinnamon rolls, cookies and much more
Nodpod gentle pressure sleep mask has a patented light-blocking design for sleeping. It is bead-filled, machine-washable, and BPA-free. The beaded weight will help your teen to relax and fall asleep easier.
These rechargeable hand warmers can be used for up to 20 hours, have 3 levels of temperature to meet the needs of various places, and have fast heating up in just 3 seconds.
For an eggcellent gift, this machine can cook 10 eggs in shells to a hard, medium or soft consistency. It also has a poaching tray with 4-egg capacity and an omelet tray with 3-egg capacity.
How fun is this? It’s a movie “scratch off” poster. It lists 100 popular movies of our time and, after your teen watches one of the movies, they can scratch off the box to learn a little bit of trivia about the movie. Perfect for that film buff on your list.
For the baseball fanatics in your home, here is a way to enjoy a favorite sport until opening day next Spring. Beautiful hand-crafted game comes with everything you need (except for the peanuts and crackerjack…)
College kids across the country have discovered this lively game. Described as a cross between four-square and volleyball, this is great for cross-training or a super-energized workout.
Board and card games have become super-popular in the teen and young adult crowd and this one, based on the telephone game we all played as kids, looks fun. Great for ages 12+.
Our kids love to play Ping Pong (with and without beer!) but in dorm rooms and small apartments there just isn’t room for a full-sized table. Enter this great idea from Umbra. Two paddles, two balls and a weighted net that can be set up on any size table up to 72 inches wide means that any table becomes a ping pong table.
A back scratcher is a funny gift, yet also SO useful. This one extends to different lengths and has a comfortable cushion-grip handle. It can also be used on pets to give them a comfortable massage.
Who has the best-decorated house for Christmas this year? You decide!
It’s the first Kidding Around Greenville Best Christmas Lights Contest.
Go for a drive with one of our FREE holiday light driving tours, then let us know who you think is the best. The winner gets bragging rights for an entire year, so choose carefully.
Take a Sneak Peek
Here’s a sneak peek at some of the houses on our tour this year.
Take the Tour
Vote!
Voting begins December 7th, 2023 and runs through December 21st, 2023.
About the Author
How does Kidding Around® bring readers high-quality and up-to-date content month after month and season after season? We have a dedicated team of writers and editors who regularly update our fabulous content to keep it current and relevant for our readers. This team combs lists of events, heads out into the community to experience new Upstate offerings, and communicates with local businesses. Many of our updated articles and event lists, like this one, reflect the contributions and hard work of multiple Kidding Around® team members.
My sons care about looking good and having stylish clothing. While I’m happy to take them clothing shopping to find something that suits their taste and my budget, they don’t have the most typical body shape, which makes it harder to find clothes that have the right fit. They’re tall and thin, with their height mainly in their legs, which means that even with slim fit pants, the waist can often end up being far too big if the legs are long enough. Yes, a belt helps, but sometimes because the waist is just so much bigger, the belt ends up bunching up the waistband and it looks weird.
Recently when I was shopping with my boys, my sons were trying to decide if they wanted to keep looking for pants with a better fit, even if they were more expensive (which meant less money on other clothes). My son had a pair of pants he’d bought a few days before that were big enough on him that when cinched with a belt, they bunched up weirdly, something that he didn’t like since he wanted to be able to wear them with his shirt tucked in, but he wouldn’t with the waist like that.
I examined the seams on it and told him that I could tailor the pants to make the waistband the right size, and he agreed that I could do that. It was a little intimidating for me to offer to do that for my son, since it wouldn’t just entail ripping open the seams, but actually cutting the fabric of the waistband. Additionally, since my sons care about how their clothing looks, I couldn’t just simply take it in in the easiest way possible; I’d have to open up the seams all the way down, far down enough that I could adjust it without making a pleat or other bend within the seam. I needed to do it as perfectly as possible, so it looked unaltered, just fresh from the factory.
I couldn’t open and adjust the seam in the back because that would make the seat of the pants look funny, so it would entail opening up each side of the pants and adjusting the seams there.
I made the first cut along the waistband, and knew that there was no turning back from there.
Of course, then I went to find my seam rippers… and couldn’t find them. So I ended up using nail scissors instead.
Once it was opened enough, I pinned the waistband of the pants on one side as tight as I wanted that side to be (keeping in mind that I was taking in both sides) and tried folding over the seam on the side each time I opened it a bit more to see if it was opened enough that the new seam would lay smoothly down and the tailoring wouldnt be visible. I ended up needing to go down about 1/3 of the way on the first leg in order to be able to do that.
I then stitched it up by hand using both threads of the needle, and doing a full backstitch, also to keep it strongest, but also so it wouldn’t look hand stitched.
I think I did a pretty good job stitching this- I don’t think you can tell where the initial stitching ended and my stitching began- I certainly can’t when looking from this side.
At this point in time, my son had returned home from school and I needed to see exactly how small I needed to make the pants… and this was much more challenging than the previous side. The previous side I didn’t have a very specific spot that I needed to take it in by, but with the second side I didn’t have any wiggle room and needed to do it precisely… so I had my son wear the pants and I tried pinning it up that way…
First I pinned the seam going the wrong direction (I’m not sure how there was a right and wrong, but there was, since the inner seam wasn’t sewn down to one side) and it made it impossible to get the seam to lay flat going all the way down… Then one time I pinned it to his underwear… and then once that was fixed, when he took off the pants the pins moved and I had to have him put them on again and again until I got the exact location rightI finally got it but each time he did that, the pins moved slightly, as pins can… and I had to do it over and over again, maybe 3 times total. I had to rip open the seam on the second pant leg nearly down to the knee to get the seams to line up properly so the tailoring wasn’t visible.
And it came out mostly good.
Because of the exact location where I took in the pants, though, there’s a slight fold in the inside of the pocket, probably because of the rivet reinforcing the pocket. I also made a mistake misalighning the top of the waistband by about 1-2 milimeters or so, but my son said that was fine with him, since he either would wear it with a belt when tucked in, or untucked if it was without a belt, so it’s totally unnoticeable. (I had offered to fix that but he said no need.)
Here’s take two of the same picture, so you don’t have to scroll up to see the finished product.
I would overall give my tailoring job a 9.5 out of 10 in terms of professionality.
And my son is very happy with these pants.
So that is what counts, after all. He’s been wearing them for about 3 weeks now and has only gotten compliments on them, and no one has noticed the slight mistakes on the second side, even my son doesn’t notice them.
So I’ll pat myself on the back for a job well done.
Do you tailor your own clothing, take it to a professional, or something else? Do you make sure the alterations are “seamless” like I tried to do, or are your alterations more obvious? Anyone else have kids that don’t fit the standard body shape for clothes?
HONOLULU, December 7, 2023 (Newswire.com)
– “What Day Are You?” (Made for Success Publishing) is not just another children’s book; it’s a captivating narrative authored by the dynamic Hawaii father-daughter team, Steve Sombrero and Candice Sombrero Ishikawa. Released on Dec. 5, 2023, this story invites young readers on an enchanting journey alongside Moco, a sea turtle from Laniakea, and his fellow marine companions. Through their adventures, these characters delve into life’s nuances, learning to navigate life’s challenges. Along the way, MoCo learns a secret equation for embracing life fully.
What sets this heartfelt creation apart from other children’s books on the market is that it caters to readers in the 6th-8th grade demographic. Having battled with his own struggles with teenage depression, co-author Steve Sombrero embarked on this project with a vision to instill hope among adolescents.
Reflecting on his personal journey, Steve has a transformative realization during a trip to tsunami-devastated Tohoku, Japan, and found a renewed purpose in sharing this empowering message, particularly crucial for teenagers facing similar emotional battles.
A striking statistic from the Hawaii Department of Health revealed that about 35% of teenagers in the state grapple with teenage depression. Fueled by a desire to extend a helping hand, Steve enlisted his daughter Candice in co-authoring this book. “What Day Are You?” emerged as a beacon of guidance and encouragement for those seeking solace and direction in their lives.
To fortify their commitment to supporting adolescents, a significant portion of the book’s proceeds will be donated to youth mental health and suicide prevention charities. Additionally, 10% of all sales profits will be contributed to the Moore Aloha Foundation, a remarkable initiative aimed to empower and inspire young women, championed by Olympic Gold Medalist surfer Carissa Moore.
“This book beautifully captures the essence of living in the moment and embracing the aloha spirit,” commends Carissa Moore, endorsing the book’s impactful message.
Author Steve Sombrero expressed, “My aim was to uplift and empower young minds and individuals navigating through their personal struggles. This project isn’t about monetary gains; it’s about offering hope and support, something I wish I had during my youth.”
Steve Sombrero is a respected Hawaii businessman and entrepreneur, leading multiple local business enterprises. His professional achievements align with his dedication to various nonprofit organizations, promoting social welfare and international educational initiatives. Co-author Candice Sombrero Ishikawa is a business and psychology graduate and steers the creative drive at Aloha Beer Company. Drawing from her own journey combating depression and body image issues, she is also committed to destigmatizing mental health challenges through advocacy.
“What Day Are You?” made its debut on Dec. 5, 2023, achieving #1 New Release status on Amazon for both Paperback and Audio books. This charming story promises to be a meaningful addition to any child’s library and a thoughtful holiday gift that carries a powerful message of resilience and living in the moment.
Cookbooks are not only great reference books to have on hand in the kitchen – they can also be displayed like decorative accents too. And with so many celebrity chefs releasing cookbooks right before the holidays, there are lots of great titles to gift this holiday season.
Jamie Oliver’s 5 Ingredients Mediterranean has more than 125 delicious, easy-to-follow recipes that are all about making everyday cooking super exciting with minimal fuss – all while transporting you to sunnier climes. You’ll find recipes to empower you to make incredibly delicious food without copious amounts of ingredients, long shopping lists, or loads of washing up. And 65% of the recipes are meat-free or meat-reduced, and all offer big, bold flavor.
From vegetable-forward dishes to full vegetarian meals, eating plants is more than just good for us. Michael Smith’s Farmhouse Vegetables cookbook was inspired by the bounty of his culinary farm at the Inn at Bay Fortune, and between the covers he shares everything that he has learned about vegetable cookery including ideas, techniques, and recipes. Whether leaning into eating more vegetables or going meat-free a few days a week, this book is full of unique, flavour-packed recipes where vegetables are always the star.
In Mary’s Kitchen by Mary Berg is a cookbook of 100 all-new recipes guaranteed to become a stress-free sidekick in the kitchen. These uncomplicated but delicious recipes come with tips and tricks to produce flavorful results every time. It’s a must in every kitchen library.
Poppycooks is a number-one bestseller across the pond for good reason – it puts airfryers to very good use! TikTok superstar and professional chef Poppy O’Toole provides recipes with fantastic flavours and ideas. In these pages are 100 easy, fool-proof, and incredibly delicious air fryer recipes that won’t break the bank.
In a recent discussion with other ADHD coaches, someone beautifully summarized that coaching, at its heart, helps the client develop self-trust. Indeed, getting to the point where we can trust ourselves is a relief. Self-trust moves us toward who we want to be in this life. It’s also a skill many individuals with ADHD struggle to cultivate.
I know because I struggled with this through my life. Once I started to develop self-trust, it was as if I was looking at the world for the first time.
Self-Trust: A Dog’s Story
When I first heard the term self-trust, I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. I heard all its related concepts — be kind to yourself, work toward the doable, be reliable, know your boundaries and keep them — but these went in my left ear and out my right.
Then I contemplated what I already knew about trust. Had I seen it show up somewhere else? I had — in a dog.
I knew a dog who was adopted after what had been a tough life. The telltale signs were there — cowering, darting for food then back to hiding under the bed, and persistent caution around people. The new owner, my friend, was a gem. She opened her heart and home to help a scared animal who would eventually come to know love and safety.
But the dog didn’t know a stitch about that when he first arrived at his new home. Instead, he assumed life would be as it had been, arduous and frightening, so he continued to employ his well-developed survival skills to get through the day.
Sound familiar? Even just a bit?
The Cowering Dog in Each of Us
The cautious dog in us is the fallout of living with “shortcomings” and moments of unreliability in a world that isn’t a fan of such mishaps – and doesn’t let us forget it. We’ve learned to survive an environment that is unforgiving to ADHD – to keep the inner dog in line – through self-harassment and conditional self-acceptance.
It’s hard to imagine a cowering dog learning to play catch or offering a paw on cue. But once it notices that its human is a safe, reliable advocate, coming out from under the bed doesn’t seem so terrifying. Suddenly, learning a trick is possible because the person on the other end is smiling rather than hollering at them.
I was an ace at hiding under the bed, and coming out from underneath it took some learning and doing. I still find myself under there sometimes, but a calm voice inside – my own, and one I’ve worked so hard to find – lures me out with love and safety and helps me reframe my self-criticism with four words: “You got this, buddy.”
Self-empathy felt squeamish to me for a long time, but making it a habit to frequently say those four words has been life-changing. I say those words to myself with patience and reasonable expectations, like my friend would say to her adopted dog. When I say those words, what I am really telling myself is, “You’re enough today.”
Oh my, is that luxurious compared to what I used to say.
Self-Trust Is Self-Reliability – One Daring Inch at a Time
Any of us would be determined to prove to a leery dog that we’ll reliably appear each morning with breakfast, speak in a calm tone, and avoid insisting that they come closer before they’re ready. We’d let the dog go at its own pace, and give it a “good job, buddy” whenever it crawled out of hiding. Because we know that the simple act of daring to show up is a big step forward.
Reliability — not reliable perfection, but reliable advocacy and willingness to keep showing up for yourself — is key to developing self-trust.
It took time for my friend’s dog to become the dog he is today. Likewise for us, self-knowledge and consistency don’t happen overnight. For me, the biggest shift came when I learned that moving forward inch by inch wasn’t as big a deal as accepting that an inch of progress is enough.
This allowed me to make the biggest learning of all: There are only inches and there is only us to keep moving through them. Self-trust lies in self-advocacy to continue to move reliably, regardless of the noise happening inside or around us.
That dog didn’t suddenly storm out from under the bed. He crept closer and closer to the edge until one day he realized he was living life in the open.
Self-Trust and ADHD: Next Steps
CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.
Get ready for a tasty adventure for your little one! We have a fantastic recipe to introduce your baby to different textures and flavors – Oats Pear Porridge for Babies! Let’s explore the simple details of this healthy and delicious baby-friendly dish, created to make mealtime a fun experience for your little bundle of joy!
As you introduce solid foods to your baby’s diet, it’s important to consider the nutritional value of each ingredient. Oats are known for their heart-healthy benefits and can contribute to your baby’s overall growth and development. Pears, being a good source of dietary fiber, can aid in digestion and provide a subtle sweetness to the porridge without the need for added sugars.It’s a perfect choice for 6 months babies and above, introducing them to wholesome flavors and essential nutrients.
Health Benefits of Oats and Pear
Nutrient-Rich: Oats are a good source of essential nutrients, including fiber, protein, complex carbohydrates, iron, magnesium, and zinc. Pears provide vitamins such as vitamin C, vitamin K, and folate. These nutrients are crucial for a baby’s growth and development.
Digestive Health: The fiber content in both oats and pears promotes healthy digestion. It can help prevent constipation and maintain regular bowel movements in infants, ensuring a comfortable and healthy digestive system.
Energy Boost: Oats provide a steady release of energy due to their complex carbohydrates. This can help keep your baby energized throughout the day, supporting their overall activity and growth.
Heart Health: Oats contain beta-glucans, a type of soluble fiber that has been linked to heart health. While heart health may not be a significant concern for babies, establishing healthy eating habits early in life can contribute to long-term well-being.
Immune Support: Pears contain vitamin C, an antioxidant that supports the immune system. Including vitamin C-rich foods in your baby’s diet can contribute to their overall immune health.
Texture Exploration: The introduction of oats and pears allows your baby to experience different textures, helping them develop oral and motor skills. As they progress from smoother purees to slightly chunkier textures, they learn to manage and explore a variety of food consistencies.
Natural Sweetness: Pears provide natural sweetness to the porridge, making it appealing to babies without the need for added sugars. This helps in developing a preference for naturally sweet and wholesome foods.
Add pear and water to the pan; cook for about 5 minutes until the pear softens, then turn off the flame.
Transfer the cooked mixture to a blender, blend until smooth.
Pour the puree into a bowl and mix well.
Your Oats Pear Porridge is ready to be served, providing a delightful blend of textures and flavors for your little one.
This Oats Pear Porridge recipe not only offers a simple and wholesome preparation but also introduces a delightful symphony of textures and flavors. From the comforting warmth of dry-roasted oats to the sweet tenderness of cooked pears, each spoonful is a nourishing experience for both the palate and the soul. This nutritious and easy-to-make porridge is a perfect addition to your morning routine, providing a deliciously balanced start to your day. Embrace the goodness of oats and the natural sweetness of pears in this wholesome bowl that promises both taste and health in every bite.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Can I use instant oats instead of traditional oats for this recipe?
Certainly! While traditional oats provide a heartier texture, instant oats can be substituted for a quicker preparation without compromising the overall taste.
Is it necessary to dry roast the oats?
Dry roasting enhances the nutty flavor of oats..
Is this porridge suitable for infants or toddlers?
Yes, This porridge can be suitable for 6 months and above..
Can I use other fruits besides pears?
Yes, you can add different fruits like apples or bananas ..
Oats Pear Porridge for Babies
If you're ready to embark on a culinary adventure for your little one, we've got the perfect recipe to introduce – Oats Pear Porridge for Babies!
My favorite part of Christmas when I was growing up was ‘The Pile.’ Once we got the “okay!” from my dad, my brother, sister and I would race from my parents’ bedroom where we had huddled on their bed to wait impatiently while they made coffee and turned on the Christmas lights, put on the Christmas music and lit the Christmas fire.
We’d come to a halt at the end of the hallway and stand gaping at the collection of gifts that had exploded under the tree from the night before. My parents never put very many presents out ahead of time, so the multiplication was impressive. Most of the gifts were not expensive; my mom wrapped up numerous small items, and if bigger gifts had components, those pieces were wrapped separately for maximum anticipatory and unwrapping effect.
My mother made the holidays magic for me and I try to the same for my kids. (Photo credit Elizabeth Spencer)
Standing there seeing the pile of gifts was a magical moment
But to stand there and behold the bounty was truly a magic moment. Yet the deepest wonder of ‘The Pile,’ like the rest of Christmas in all my childhood years, was that it just showed up. Year after year, all the pieces that made the season feel complete unfolded in regular succession, from the cookies at our tree-trimming party to the music playing in the house to the Christmas-morning cinnamon rolls to that pile of gifts—all of it set against a backdrop of regular life with its own cooking, cleaning, shopping, and laundry (which knows no season).
It’s only since I became a mom myself that I’ve realized this truth: when I remember the best part of Christmas as a child, I’m remembering a hundred things my mom did when I wasn’t looking.
I’ve paid my mom back by paying it forward with my children
I know my mom wasn’t alone in giving her family this gift of time, planning, activity (and exhaustion). All she did was mirrored by what so many other moms who were willing and able did then—and still do today.
I myself have tried to pay my mom back for what she did at Christmas the same way I try to pay her back for all she did my whole life: by trying to do it for my children, her grandchildren. And like her, I’ve done most of it when they weren’t looking.
I’ve baked Christmas-tree shaped cookies that were practically life-sized when I volunteered to outfit the cookie-decorating station for a school classroom party and was instructed to use a provided cookie cutter. I’ve done advance work to figure out if my tech-challenged husband and I would be capable of hooking up a WiFi for a Christmas-morning surprise.
Most of what I do, I do quietly
I’ve wrapped boxes of cereal to amp up our own version of ‘The Pile.’ I’ve carted kids to Christmas pageant rehearsals and rounded up costumes and gone shopping at Goodwill for “ugly” sweaters for low-budget Christmas dance recital costumes.
I’ve made just-before-closing runs to the store to get one more strand of lights and prepped the Christmas-morning cinnamon rolls so I could be present in the morning itself. And I am far from alone in this annual bustle.
My mom and I and moms the world over who have the option of doing all this and who choose that option do not go to all this under-the-radar effort just so we can be magic-making martyrs. We don’t do it just so we can complain that nobody knows how much we do.
Love is not self-serving
We do it because love in its most sacred form is others-focused. It’s humble. It serves. It’s not self-seeking. It doesn’t draw attention to itself.
Christmas is far from the only time we try to love our people this way. This version of love is part of a larger, year-round gift we hope to give our children: to keep some things hidden from them to preserve their innocence or their ease of mind or their delight.
As moms (especially of older kids), we cry into towels in the bathroom when our children are struggling so that our anguish doesn’t add to theirs. We also cry into towels in the bathroom when our kids are experiencing some good thing that’s hard for us so that our sadness doesn’t subtract from their excitement. We sometimes hide our tears or disappointment or worry or misgivings or our own desires so we can give our beginner adults the gifts of space, trust, independence, and lessons they have to learn on their own.
This is the heart of all the most meaningful gifts: wanting what’s best for someone else. And this is where the truest magic—the elevation of our minds and hearts beyond the mundane—lies.
Of course moms are not the only people who love like this. Dads, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends act out love and create wonder behind the scenes, too. But especially at Christmastime, moms do it in extended measure because we are the privileged possessors of background information about our people.
We moms are the directors of Christmastime
On Christmas morning, we are the holders of the most secrets and surprises. We know the back stories. We know what our spouses and children are going to delight in and why. We know what they’re hoping to get that they are getting. We know what they’re getting that they’ll love but don’t even know they want.
All this is our secret knowledge. Our families get in on part of it, but as mothers, we get in on the whole of it. It’s ours to hold to ourselves and cherish during the lead-up of the season, and then it’s ours to share in a way we get to orchestrate.
We are the directors—as well as part of the cast and audience—of the production called Christmas.
So many of the mechanics of the holidays fall to a mom, especially when our children are small. But as we shop and cook and strategize and prep and keep our lists and hide things, we think about what’s in store for our people at various points along the Christmas way. We think about how we get the joy of wrapping it up and also the joy of seeing it unfold. And then we know: we get the most and best gifts of all.
Being a parent is a bit like going on an adventure with twists and turns. One important part of this journey is helping children figure out what spirituality and religion mean to them.
As they progress through different phases of life, so does their understanding of spirituality and religion.
When we recognize this journey is not confined to childhood but spans a lifetime, it is important to fine tune our roles in nurturing a meaningful spiritual path for them.
In essence, we should support their connection to spirituality, not just when they are little, but throughout their whole lives.
What Spirituality and Religion Means for Children and Parents
Spirituality and religion are concepts that often intersect but have distinct meanings.
Spirituality refers to a deeply personal and internal experience of seeking meaning, purpose, and connection to something greater than oneself. It is often characterized by a sense of inner peace, transcendence, and a quest for understanding life’s mysteries. Spirituality can be expressed through various practices, such as meditation, prayer, or mindfulness, and it doesn’t necessarily adhere to a specific set of doctrines or organized rituals.
On the other hand, religion involves a structured set of beliefs, practices, and rituals centered around a deity or deities. Religions often have organized institutions, scriptures, and moral codes that guide the beliefs and behaviors of their followers. Religion can provide a framework for understanding the purpose of life, the nature of existence, and the ethical principles that govern human conduct.
The Power of Beliefs
What we believe and teach our kids matters a lot. Spirituality, which can include religious beliefs, guides us to help them understand the world. It shapes their values, gives them a sense of purpose, and helps them know right from wrong.
Introducing spirituality to them helps them feel they belong. Whether it’s through religious practices, going to church or mosque, or having family traditions, these things connect children to something bigger, making them feel supported.
How to Help Your Child on Their Spiritual Journey
1. Encourage Questions
Kids are curious, so make sure they know it is okay to ask questions. Creating a space for open conversations helps them explore their beliefs and strengthens your bond with them.
2. Start Family Traditions
Rituals, like family prayers or celebrating holidays, make spirituality tangible. These traditions become special moments that shape your child’s spiritual identity.
3. Lead by Example
Children watch what we do. Showing kindness, being resilient, and living out the values you want to pass on are powerful ways to teach spirituality.
Tackling Challenges in Nurturing Spiritual Growth
Image by Biljana Jovanovic from Pixabay
Nurturing spirituality and religion in children presents various challenges. These include balancing tradition with individual exploration, addressing diverse beliefs, and maintaining relevance.
It is also about handling difficult questions, managing peer influence, and cultivating positive perceptions. As they grow up they must be helped to adapt to their changing beliefs, and encourage them to think critically about what lineage they prefer.
While at it they must learn to handle religious diversity within the family, and while coping with life’s challenges.
Successfully navigating these challenges requires open communication, flexibility, and a deep understanding of the children’s individual needs and beliefs. It is about emphasizing a supportive environment for spiritual and religious growth while respecting autonomy.
How Parents Can Embrace Change in Spirituality as Children Grow Up
As children embark on the journey of life, their spirituality undergoes a natural evolution. Embracing these changes becomes paramount for parents navigating the various phases of their child’s growth.
Image by ElenaOlesik from Pixabay
1. Recognize Growth Phases
As your child matures, their understanding of spirituality transforms. Recognizing and acknowledging these growth phases is essential. What resonates with a young child may not hold the same significance for a teenager exploring their identity and beliefs. Paying attention to these shifts enables parents to provide appropriate guidance.
2. Adapting Guidance Accordingly
As a parent, adapting your guidance to align with your child’s evolving spirituality is key. Understand that their beliefs may change based on experiences, exposure to new ideas, and personal reflections. Flexibility in your approach ensures that your guidance remains relevant and supportive throughout their developmental journey.
3. Nurture a Lifelong Connection
Rather than considering spirituality as a phase limited to childhood, instill the idea of a lifelong connection. Encourage your child to view spirituality as a continuous exploration that spans their entire life. This perspective fosters a sense of curiosity and openness, allowing them to adapt and grow spiritually at each stage.
4. Provide Supportive Foundations
Create a foundation that supports your child’s evolving spirituality. Offer a safe space for discussions, allowing them to express their thoughts and ask questions. This supportive environment reinforces the idea that their spiritual journey is an ongoing process, marked by personal growth and self-discovery.
5. Encourage Continued Exploration
Promote the concept of continued exploration. Encourage your child to seek new perspectives, learn about different spiritual traditions, and engage in reflective practices. This proactive approach not only enhances their understanding of spirituality but also empowers them to make informed choices about their beliefs.
The Final Word
Parenting is a complex dance, and spirituality and religion add depth. It becomes a guiding force that shape children’s character and how they see the world. By embracing this aspect and offering unwavering support, we set the stage for them to embark on a journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth.
You know those ads that pop up on social media with products that are original, unique, and completely unexpected? Here are four of those fun items that make for great gifts this holiday season.
The Doggy Bathroom. Imagine a sanitary, chic looking bathroom option for a small to medium sized dog? One where they can do their business with dignity and without you having to take them out in the freezing cold weather? This ingenious product is the brainchild of two local Montrealers who not only have a keen eye for design but for innovative solutions too.
Zipstring is one of the coolest toys out there, and it’s fun for kids as well as kids at heart. You may have even seen it on Shark Tank. This gizmo comes with three different sized strings that seem to practically float when you turn it on. You’ll be amazed by all the cool stunts and tricks you can do with this simple toy.
Do you know an enthusiastic sports fan? We probably all do. The LoudCup is a travel tumbler for liquids that is also outfitted with a built-in horn. You can drink your coffee at early morning games and cheer on the local team, all at once.
Rocketgrip is perfect for any athlete looking for a firmer grip. Made from different materials (depending on your preference), these grips fit onto any hockey stick, lacrosse stick, tennis racket, or fishing rod, and provide extra grip control when you need it most. They can also be personalized with a name and player number.
For the last 20 years, every mid-November, is the time when I begin to think about what Christmas card I’m going to send out. Until this year. This year I questioned whether it made sense. Both my sons are now officially in college and I was feeling a little awkward about sending out cards with images of essentially two, basically young men.
“Sending again this year, even though the pic is terrible.”
“I still send. It’s a dying art, but I’ll stay with it.”
I like even numbers and decided that since this would mark the 20th year, I’d go ahead and send ‘em and decide next year if I’ll continue.
Christmas cards have evolved over the years (Photo credit Jeanne Yurman)
Holiday cards are a way to broadcast your family
Living in Darien, Connecticut, an affluent town an hour outside of New York City, you’re living in the Perfect Family Major Leagues. For young, anxious, aspirational moms, holiday cards present that once-a-year analog opportunity (beyond Instagram and Facebook) to broadcast to the world what beautiful, enviable-looking children you have and, by default, of course an enviable, ideal family.
There are heavy questions that ensue when you are in the throes of designing this important card: Vertical or horizontal? Foil or no foil? What card stock? Can you photoshop that one imperfection out without notice? A single photo or do you show off just how busy and colorful your kids’ lives are with multiple photos? (Late one evening over wine, my friend had me dying laughing as she ranted on this topic, insisting she didn’t want to see 100 tiny photos – you need to choose just one.)
In the early years the card project turned olympic
In the early aughts, when my boys were babies, many of us ordered personalized cards at the stationary store and/or bought high-end cards with slots where we could add our physical photos. (The online Shutterfly/Tiny Prints/Minted cards came later.) Those who were really fancy, got cards that included a velvet ribbon. To make this card project as onerous as possible, I somehow decided I should handwrite both the recipients’ names and addresses and our return address. Adding the ribbon one year, the project turned olympic.
Like leaflets, I used to send out as many as 250 cards. No one was safe: my friends from high school, college and work, my husband’s friends from high school, college and work, our families, the bus driver, their teachers, the kids’ friends’ families, classmates’ families, babysitters, housekeepers. If someone was in our orbit in any small way, they got one.
It was hard to capture a great picture when the kids were little
Early on in this high achieving town, I was, in general, caught up with the pursuit of looking the part. That noted, there was an especially forgettable year after we first moved there. I stuffed my little cherubs into thick, precious sweaters from a local boutique and propped them up like dolls on a creme velvet sofa in the living room, shoving it near the window to capture the natural light.
Like many babies, Jack was gently gnawing on his fist and blocking his face. And he and his brother Charlie wouldn’t look straight at me at the same time – like trying to take photos of two geckos.
I got frustrated at a point and barked at Jack to keep his hand down and he started bawling. My anxious pleading – rooted in the fear of not getting that perfect photo of my perfect children, which might reveal to the town that I was not perfect – caused him to bawl more. (Ah, the irony!)
It was a joy to send and get holiday cards
Year after year, on family outings or after a family photo session, my husband, Joe and I would exclaim about a photographic moment, “That’s the holiday card this year!” And we got some good ones – by a covered bridge, standing beside the classic-looking snowman, the boys in tuxes at their cousin’s wedding standing near the dugout at Yankee Stadium.
Many of us keep up with the cards, in part, thanks to the tangible payback. December’s mail can bring little gifts every day. The people I sent the cards to were sending them to me, too. It’s so rewarding. It was such a joy to see the array of envelopes and return address labels, the vast card designs and the photos that captured how people’s kids were growing. I would craft an annual mosaic of holiday cards, displaying them on the glass cabinet doors lining one side of our family room.
I always ordered some extra cards that I’d refer to as “volley cards.” (You know you did too!) Those are the ones you send to people who send you a card but you would have otherwise not sent them one. You don’t want to appear to be rude, so you quickly drop one in the mail in kind. It can get tricky and awkward, however, when other folks’ cards show up so close to Christmas. If your volley card is apt to arrive after the holiday, it’s obvious to both parties that they weren’t on your list.
After my separation the holiday card required a pivot
When the boys were 12, the cards required a pivot. Their dad and I split (amicably). The gig was up. We were not a perfect family. When the card said “Love the Yurmans, Jeanne, Jack and Charlie” and no Joe, everyone would know. So I embraced the change and started including photos of the three of us often with the dog.
I’ll admit, I was still striving to a degree. But every year, I found myself caring fractionally less about the cards. My sendee list became shorter and instead of investing hours searching for and designing the ideal card online, I’ve been on a journey in the “good enough” zone.
Funny thing is, I think I’ve dropped off many people’s lists and I now may be the volley card recipient in many cases. And I understand there are plenty of ladies out there who have tapped out and are no longer sending cards, so not even the volley card’s coming. But between getting divorced and moving to the town next door after 17 years, the mail brings far fewer cards than in the past.
I polled my friends as to whether I should continue to send cards
Of the friends I asked about when to stop sending cards, one gave me definitive input: “Keep sending! You can send cards that aren’t pic cards. When you stop, you stop getting.”
Though, then my question to myself is, do I really want to continue getting cards that are quite possibly “volley” cards? And how long do we all send each other photos of our adult children? The sending-holiday-cards tradition is one that, despite mild hypocrisy and (not to mention healthy cost), I’d miss. But it does seem like it’s one that’s coming to a close.
Maybe this year is it. Maybe it’s not. Instead of my boys donning boutique sweaters propped up on a living room couch, this year’s photo is a simple one – just me and my guys, not hiking the mountains in Norway or Utah’s national parks. Just walking the dog, two of us wearing sunglasses. Might be my favorite card ever.
Got a kid three to five years old? Show them this video about Mixmups, a new British stop-motion animation show for kids that includes disabled characters. It was written by Rebecca Atkinson, a children’s TV producer who is partially sighted and partially deaf.
The 52-part series is about three friends—Pockets the bear, Giggle the cat, and Spin the rabbit—who go on magical adventures.
According to Rebecca, who wrote this piece about it in The Guardian: “Each episode begins with the friends cooking up an idea for play… They place toys and objects into a blue mixing box, add some sparkles and, using their magical wooden spoon, mix up the magic and get swallowed inside the box on an adventure.”
Pockets, a bear with three red pockets on his blue fur, is partially sighted and uses a guide dog. Giggle, the orange-striped cat, has a curved spine and sometimes uses a wheelchair. Spin the red rabbit is nondisabled.
The characters are voiced by kids with disabilities and the adult role of the Lucky Loover Bird, who is not disabled, is voiced by a visually impaired actor. “The writing team all have lived experience of disability and a thorough knowledge of play theory, which drives the simple narrative of each episode—making them appealing and relatable to preschoolers,” Rebecca writes in her Guardian piece.
“I gave the Mixmups a helter-skelter house with a lift, automatic doors, wheelchair accessible swings and a twirly cups roundabout inspired by the Norfolk seaside town of Great Yarmouth, close to my childhood home,” Rebecca writes. “The result is Mixington Valley, a fantasy space where barriers are removed and everything is open to all.”
The episodes are audio described and signed and subtitled versions are in the works. Rebecca describes Mixmups as a disabled-created brand.
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NOTE: For some of the Amazon gifts, delivery before 12/25 will only happen if you have an Amazon Prime account. Sign up here for a 30 day free trial. Note: We are a reader-supported site and receive compensation when you shop through these links. Prices were accurate at time of publication. Great gifts for Taylor Swift fans…
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