For those of you who anticipate what senior year will be like, allow me to share the three chapters I have observed and experienced from August to the present.
During my son’s senior year, I have thought of these months as being part of three chapters. (Shutterstock: Round Picture)
Three chapters of high school senior year
CHAPTER ONE is essays and deadlines.
It is layered on top of AP classes and juggling the resume builders (sports, work, civic opportunities, clubs, band, etc.). Let me tell you, it’s a tornado of a season and I don’t think I fully understood the process and how hard it would be to watch. I nurtured a lot more, I made my son’s bed, I made sure he had his favorite foods. It was stressful for him and everyone under the roof. But as in all seasons of life, deadlines allowed this season to end.
CHAPTER TWO is wait for answers.
This chapter has been the fun one…this is the season where you sit back and WAIT for emails and letters that determine the future path of your senior kiddo. This is where smiles return. For us, it was calm yet full of anticipation for his future.
The parent brain has a million questions every day wondering if the senior has received any updates, been accepted, need to follow up on something and then you realize your child is reading emails and actually following up without telling you every detail. It is when you see they are preparing to be a college student and “forget” to tell you things, because they don’t need to tell you every detail.
CHAPTER THREE is celebration!
This can also have its ups and downs, but you celebrate the wins! Your child gets accepted and has to take the next steps in the admissions process.
After your teen gets accepted to college
My son’s first acceptance packet was happy and perfectly branded. Utilizing the college mascot, this giant Tiger face with instructions on the back provided bullet points of what HE needed to do next.
During chapter one, your senior – not the parent – sets up the logins and passwords for the admissions process. This is intentional and hopefully they remember the login information (which he didn’t) so expect a lot of passwords resetting in chapter three of this season.
Once he logged in, he stumbled on bullet point one of the instructions, he quickly said, “can you help?” and I was left holding a Tiger head letting him know “actually, I cannot.” There is a reason the university requires the senior to set up the password. It is their responsibility, the first responsibility of many tasks that each young person needs to accomplish to set them up to be successful once they leave the nest.
I am certain that universities have figured out how to word the information so a future freshman can make it to bullet point number two on the Tiger face I am left holding.
Seniors navigate college decisions while their brain is not yet fully developed
BUT…while the senior high school brain isn’t developed, universities hand them the keys to the adult kingdom. And thank goodness they do, because it is time, and I am not sure some parents would do that unless the universities did it for us.
For context, the brain fully develops around 25 years of age so young people will navigate college and major life decisions without a fully developed brain (which if fun, exciting and will drive you crazy on the bad days!).
I have learned so much about myself and my amazing son in the last few months and I also have realized the undercurrent in the three chapters is simply the TRANSITION SEASON of life. The transition of who owns the metaphorical and literal login and password of their life.
Everything has a beginning and end. But the transition season is often overlooked. This process or period of changing from high school senior to college freshman, what is the role of parents during this transition? As I hold my big Tiger head piece of paper, I am excited for transition season, and I hope all senior parents will embrace it!
Three suggestions on how to embrace this transition
My new “login” is a post it note. Or a note pad. Or a poster board with post it notes. Or notes on your phone. Yep, I have tried all of them…laugh at me if you want to. I have used these systems mostly so I can keep track of what might be going on behind the logins. It is just the reminders that I can work into our college discussions or over a conversation in the car.
We have been answering our children’s questions for years and it gives us parenting purpose. They ask for our help; we fix the problem, and we get a hug. That is the spiral of parenting but now we – the parents – need to change the direction of the spiral. “Hey mom, can you help?” should not translate into fixing everything, it translates into us helping them or teaching them how to take steps to the solution. My son needed help with a medical form recently and thanks to HIPPA (HIPAA Home | HHS.gov), when he asked me for help, I said I “no” because of the federal law. He figured it out, with some coaching.
If you are a senior parent reading this and you know the login to the university websites for your child (and you are checking the portals and doing the work intended for the prospective student) then you might be missing the lesson of what I am saying. Do yourself a favor and “unremember” (that’s not a real word) that information. It is a small step, but it is the needed step in the season of transition.
The transition season has one goal…to prepare yourself and your senior to get them ready to live on their own next year. During the transition there is time and opportunities for this, and this will allow them to not just attend college next fall but THRIVE in college next fall.
And, full disclosure, I wash my son’s clothes. My mom did it for me until I walked out the door for college and I will likely do it for him. I own it, I’m not changing. So, own the things you aren’t ready to transition but embrace new your role in the season of transition, guide them, coach them, love them, but be the coach, teacher and mentor in this season!
A 2021 study in Health Affairs revealed a shocking degree of disability bias in medicine. Over 80 per cent of 712 American doctors didn’t think it was possible to live well with a significant disability, and 60 per cent didn’t feel equipped to provide the same care to a disabled patient that they give other patients.
Last year, 80 per cent of 44 fourth-year medical students in this Disability and Health Journal study rated their education on disability as inadequate. They also reported less comfort with taking a patient history, doing a physical exam, and making a differential diagnosis when working with people with disabilities.
So it was a breath of fresh air to listen to this panel of seven disabled women doctors last month—including Dr. Paige Church, a neonatologist and developmental pediatrician who used to work in Holland Bloorview’s spina bifida clinic, and is now at Boston Children’s Hospital.
They talked about when they did, and didn’t, disclose their disabilities; how to find a supportive work environment; inappropriate comments from professors and peers; being denied an accommodation; how they rely on each other; and how their personal experience with disability and using the health system benefits patients.
One story that stuck out happened to Dr. Jennifer Arnold, who is a neonatologist who works in simulation training at Boston Children’s Hospital. She has skeletal dysplasia and mobility issues. Earlier in her career she was getting credentialed in another hospital and was assigned to work in the service delivering babies.
She requested $30 step stools in each delivery room to accommodate her short stature. The medical director e-mailed to let her know that “the institution is not willing or able to purchase and or maintain step stools in the delivery room, so we won’t be able to have you do delivery room service… I kind of thought is that something that’s legally even allowed in this day and age? I’ve clearly already been practising and done delivery room service and had step stools available…’
It took three months, but she eventually got the hospital to purchase the step stools. She learned a lot in the process, but chose to leave the organization. “…My leadership didn’t even advocate for me on behalf of the hospital,” she said.
The doctors on the panel spoke about the value of their experience with disability and as someone who relies on health care. “I didn’t know anyone else who was a little person who was a physician when I was applying,” Dr. Arnold said. “And I really feared that maybe I wouldn’t be good enough or I wouldn’t contribute enough.”
But over the years she learned “there is so much we offer our patients from our perspective, from our lived experiences as individuals with disabilities… I’ve seen connections made with patients that others couldn’t [have made], and opportunities to have an impact…maybe differently or even better than others who may not have gone through similar life experiences.”
Dr. Church said the doctors’ experiences receiving health care “make our conversations with our patients richer, and more real…”
I almost failed Physics at Bronx Science in the 1980s. None of the brain-numbing equations or principles made much sense to me or related to my life. Why would I, a budding journalism major, ever need to know quantum theory? I completely forgot it all—or so I thought–until this New Year’s Eve, when it was time to reflect on the past year and plan the new one. I shook my head in disbelief: how fast has everything changed for me in these last eight months?
Faster than the speed of light, a voice in my head whispers
My head spins when I think of all the changes I endured this year. (Shutterstock DimaBerlin)
This was the hardest year of my life
This was the hardest year of my life. I am no longer the person I was. It began in March, when sadly and abruptly, my mom passed away. In the wake of that tremendous loss, I was left to care for my 52-year-old sister who—although she holds down a job–never moved out of our childhood home.
My 85-year-old mother was her confidante and constant companion—think Grey Gardens and you get the picture. Without her, she is lost, broken, inconsolable. She depended on her—and now me—for everything.
I did not know the extent of my younger sister’s issues
I knew my younger sibling had issues. I lived with her for 20+ years, sharing a small bedroom with two twin beds and numerous Donny Osmond posters. I knew she had fears and insecurities and my mother protected her fiercely, denying there was anything wrong. But since the pandemic, they shut me out—literally—keeping me away from their Bronx apartment for fear of bringing in the virus.
Days after my mother’s death, when I came to sort through her things, I didn’t expect to find the space overrun with clutter. I had seen hoarding on a few reality TV shows with the tagline “Buried Alive” but face-to-face with mountains of “stuff” I literally fell to my knees. Where do I begin? How do I begin?
They had stocked up, not for quarantine but for an impending apocalypse, and my mom was too weak (and my sister “too busy”) to clean it out. So, it accumulated for three years. Towers of cleaning supplies, discarded clothing, food and paper goods. I had never seen so many rolls of Charmin in my life. Even more shocking: my sister liked it this way.
I don’t recognize my life anymore
It took me three months to make a dent and another three to replace ancient carpets, furniture, and appliances. My sister finally admits she likes the change, but “doesn’t recognize the place.” I can honestly say I feel the same. I don’t recognize myself these days or the tasks that consume me.
Likewise, there are people who have come and gone. My sister had kidney stone surgery in June and her kind doctor is now a constant for me, as is her grief counselor. At the same time, I’ve completely lost touch with many of my mom’s teacher colleagues who were like second mothers to me. After paying shiva calls, they simply disappeared.
I thought things were settling down. I let myself breathe. Then, this October, I was hit with another unanticipated tragedy. I received a call from a detective with the Broward County Police Department. My 85-year-old aunt collapsed on her kitchen floor and was found dead in a pool of blood. I was sitting in a nail salon at the time, and I literally jumped up, mid-manicure, and ran out of the door hyperventilating.
I called my sister who didn’t seem shocked or saddened (they were estranged), but my head was spinning. She was fine, just fine, only two weeks ago when we chatted about politics and cataracts and what she would eat for lunch (potato salad was a distinct possibility).
I was blindsided again when my aunt passed away
When my aunt’s estate attorney calls to explain the inheritance, I expected it to be split between her two only nieces. I am the eldest, and she told me repeatedly “I’m leaving it all to you both, my only family.” But when the will is read, I am once again blindsided. My sister, it turns out, is the sole beneficiary. I—a woman with a career, a husband, and a child—am clearly in better shape than my unwed, emotionally-scarred sibling.
Though my sister and aunt haven’t spoken for years, I am an afterthought. I am too stunned and hurt to say anything more except that I will file all the paperwork according to my aunt’s wishes. My sister is set for life; the money will provide for her old age or any health concerns that arise. In that way I am eternally grateful to my aunt; a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I almost felt at peace, but then, as if on cue, another quake bowls me over: my daughter walks in and announces, “I’m moving out.”
Then my daughter announced that she was moving out
My husband and I look at each other, speechless. Yes, she just turned 21 and yes, she’s graduating college in May. But once again, everything has been tossed topsy turvy without warning. We thought we had a few more months of her at home. I am no longer someone’s mommy—at least not in the day-to-day “What’s for dinner and can you help me with my homework?” sense.
She’s an adult, she’s strong, smart, and capable of caring of herself. Which leaves me…I’m not quite sure where. A thought from Physics suddenly floats to the surface: “The one thing you can count on in quantum experiments is unpredictability.” When it comes to particles, it’s virtually impossible to predict where one will end up—and the same I suppose goes for me.
My spouse waits a day, barely a beat, to present what he thinks is a plausible solution to our newly empty nest: we should leave it behind. He wants to move to Florida, to become “snowbirds” with all the other New Yorkers in the 50-something age bracket migrating to Delray, Boca and Aventura.
I tell him, honestly, I’m not ready to make that decision just yet. For him, it feels like the perfect time to just pick up and go, but for me there are too many unknowns.
This year has taught me that life changes at the speed of light
Has this year taught us nothing? Have we not seen how much can change at the speed of light? The numbers came to me as if I’d pulled them out of a magic hat: “186,000 miles per second, 700 million miles per hour.” That’s it! That’s exactly how it feels. Like everything is racing by at breakneck speed, ricocheting ahead.
But I am not helpless. I would prefer things to slow down and let me catch my breath, but that’s not something I can control. “Inherent unpredictability” is part of Physics but also part of life. I could dig my heels in, demand we stay in one place, will time to stand still. But that would mean ignoring all the good that’s come this year as well as the bad, the love I continually experience from unexpected places. A neighbor treats me to afternoon tea. My group of “stage moms” from our kids’ theater days reunites for brunch and a screening. A friend from Bronx Science calls to reconnect and meet up after the holidays.
“You’ve had quite a year,” she listens patiently as I recount each incident. “No one would believe it. It could be a movie!”
Maybe this is an experiment to see how I will adapt
Or maybe it’s all just one big experiment to see how we evolve and adapt to everything that’s thrown at us. I was never good at Physics, but it did teach me one thing: You must keep moving forward. We live in a chaotic universe; things happen that we simply cannot understand but they do lead to growth and revelation. For me, it’s a greater faith in myself. Even if I do get swept away, I know I can still stick the landing.
Life has changed dramatically and so have I. I’m braver and a little less loathe to experiment with the unknown. So maybe I will try Florida for a few weeks or write a screenplay (truth is stranger than fiction!) or help my daughter decorate her new digs in Barbie pink (her choice, not mine).
I might even just re-read my dusty old Physics textbook (I found it when clearing out my mom’s shelves). Who would have thought that any of those boring scientific facts would stick and come in handy after all?
My daughter was the last person to talk to her dad before he died.
Haley, then 10, and Ryan, 15, were at my former husband’s house that day. They lived with me for ten days and then with Erik for four more, every two weeks. We’d agreed to the custody schedule years before, and had fallen into a good coparenting groove. Our divorce was working better than our marriage had.
Erik had been home, recovering from a heart attack, when Haley called me from his house one afternoon.
“Ryan thinks Daddy’s dead!” said Haley when I answered the phone and I was on my feet before I realized it, gesturing at my boyfriend, Walt, to get in the car. I sped to Erik’s house, making the mile-long drive in less than two minutes.
My daughter clung to her father’s t-shirt. (Photo credit Kelly K. James)
I could not find a pulse
Walt helped me lower Erik off the couch to the ground, and I checked for a pulse, found none, and started CPR, pushing my closed fist against his chest, hard, over and over, the way I’d learned years before. I heard Walt take the kids out of the room and then, a police officer was kneeling next to me, telling me not to stop, and the room was full of EMTs, busy and purposeful, who pushed me out of the way and tore open Erik’s shirt and slapped pads to his chest and put an oxygen bag on his face and charged the AED and tried to restart his heart.
They took him to the hospital, and I followed, after calling my best friend, Cindy, to come stay with the kids. Then I came home.
Ryan knew as soon as he saw my face. Haley did not. Erik had gone to the hospital before, for his appendix, for gallstones, for a pulmonary embolism, for a heart attack. He always came home.
I held my daughter close as I told her her father had died
I got on my knees and put my arms around my daughter. “They gave your daddy special medicine, and they used special machines and they worked really hard to try to get his heart started,” I said. “It didn’t work. He died. I’m so, so sorry.” And I held her while she sobbed, wishing her pain could bleed into me.
The next morning, we drove to Erik’s still, quiet house to gather photos for the funeral. Erik’s bed was made, stacks of shirts, jeans, and shorts lined up neatly in his closet.
“I want Daddy’s shirt,” said Haley, pointing to one stack. They’d joined a dads/daughters club after we got divorced, and had gone on camping trips every summer. Haley slept in Erik’s “Happy Camper/Camp Tecumseh” t-shirt that night, the shirt reaching her knees.
Those first days were a blur. I let my kids’ teachers know what had happened, set up therapy appointments for my son and walked the quiet streets of my neighborhood in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. I made sure we had something to eat for dinner and started to clean out Erik’s house, shocked by the endless boxes he’d stashed in his basement.
I began to dismantle my late, ex-husband’s life
I found birthday cards I’d given him decades before, our kids’ report cards, crayon pictures Haley and Ryan had drawn as preschoolers. He’d kept everything. I gathered everything I thought the kids would want, and did what I could to help my brother, his executor, start dismantling his life. Haley still wore the shirt.
A month after he died, I tried to put it in the wash.
“Nooooo!” Haley grabbed the shirt and cradled it protectively. “No, Mom. It smells like Daddy.” She held it tighter. “Promise me you won’t wash it,” she said. “Swear.”
And I promised. I raised my right hand and swore I wouldn’t wash it.
I overrode my sanitary-related objections and tried to put it out of my mind. Three months passed. Four. Five. Six. She still wore the shirt. Which I could now smell when Haley walked by.
It was time. “Haley, I’m sorry.” I sat down on her bed. “I have to wash your dad’s shirt.”
“Nooooo! It still smells like him!”
“It doesn’t, honey,” I said. “It smells like BO. It smells like stinky 11-year-old. It’s full of bacteria at this point. I have to wash it. I’m your parent. I can’t let you wear something that could make you sick.”
“It was Dad’s.”
“I know. But do you think your dad would be okay with you wearing his shirt for so long? Without washing it?”
Haley started to laugh. “No,” she said. “He’d think it was gross.”
“Well, it is gross!” I laughed, too. “I cannot even imagine what is growing or living in that shirt by this point.” I looked at her, and took a breath.
When I tried to wash the shirt, a memento I had given my daughter she balked
“Haley, will you tell me again what happened that day?”
She nodded. I waited.
“I asked if I could use his iPad,” said Haley. “He said ‘yes.’ He said he was going to take a nap. And I said, ‘thank you and I love you’.”
“And what did he say?”
“He said, ‘I love you, too.’”
I reached over and held her hand. “Your dad knew the two people he loved the most in the world — you and Ryan — were in the house with him. I think he was happy, and he closed his eyes, and fell asleep, and his heart stopped. It’s still really sad, but I’m so glad he wasn’t in a hospital, by himself, or alone, or scared.”
She sat, listening to me.
“You’ve got so many good memories with your dad. Cooking with him. Going on campouts. Driving around in the Jeep. Playing on the zipline in his backyard. Those are all in your heart. You can still wear his shirt every night if you want! You can wear it in college. But you have to let me wash it in the meantime. Okay?”
She handed me the shirt, and it (washed twice, in hot water, with extra detergent) was waiting for her to climb back into that night.
His scent may have faded. But I hope the memory of his love for her will last forever.
What should you do if your student’s first semester did not go as planned?
First, don’t panic. Many students struggle and then use those struggles to flourish. But it is time to have some serious conversations and develop a better game plan for the second semester.
Start by level setting the expectations. When first-year college students struggle, they tend to get into a mindset that everybody is thriving except them. Social media exacerbates this tendency as they watch high school friends at other colleges who appear to be thriving.
When the first semester of college doesn’t go well for your teen, here are things parents can say to help. (Shutterstock wavebreakmedia)
Acknowledge that first semester didn’t go well
Don’t try to convince your student that others are also struggling. Just simply acknowledge that the first semester did not go as planned. Assure them that that is part of the process. Then, shift the conversation to what they need to do differently during the second semester.
Identify what did not go as planned.
First-semester stumbles tend to fall into a few buckets: it was hard to make friends, academics were overwhelming, a co-curricular interest did not work out as planned (e.g., athletics, arts), or they were just plain homesick. Identify the source(s) of the problem. Here is another checklist.
Now, help them build a roadmap that focuses on relationships, experiences, academic success, and fun!
Once they get the relationships right, other pieces fall into place. Discuss simple ways to build relationships with faculty, student affairs staff, and others on campus who are there to support students. Remind your student that the second semester is a fresh start. All they need to do is reach out and ask for help.
Second semester is a chance to start anew
If friends are an issue, encourage them to get active on campus. My advice to students is to get involved in something they are already interested in doing while also trying something new (maybe even something they would have been too embarrassed to try in high school). College campuses are filled with clubs and activities ranging from community service to student government, arts organizations, and intramural sports. The most important thing is to find organizations or clubs that meet regularly. Here is a great guide that you might find helpful.
A job can also be a great way to meet people and have some fun. If they are in a college town, a job at a local store or coffee shop can be a way to meet people. A campus job can also be a way to meet staff who often become mentors.
Build an academic support structure
Academic support structures probably matter the most.
Many of the struggles faced by first-year students are academic. Even the students doing well socially will spiral if they are struggling academically. Make sure your student is fully engaged in classes.
A lot of things happen simultaneously when students dive into their academics. They build confidence, get excited by the new things they are learning, and often make friends in their classes.
Many academic challenges arise from poor time management, coping skills, and basic study skills. Some students will be attending colleges that offer great help. If so, encourage your student to take advantage of it. But far too many students will be on campuses without sufficient support, especially at larger universities.
You might consider finding ways to build a support structure. This can be as simple as proactively reaching out to find tutors before classes begin. There are also individuals and organizations that help. For example, Untapped Learning was started by Brandon Slade and provides mentoring and coaching for college students who are struggling. They also have some excellent resources on their website.
Take care of your health, be honest and give yourself a break
Health matters.
One of the first things students stop doing when they struggle is caring for themselves — they need to stay healthy to get back on track. Focus on the basics: nutrition, exercise, and sleep. Also, encourage them (if they are open to it) to explore some form of mindfulness. The research on the benefits of mindfulness is clear, and there are many ways to practice mindfulness.
Be honest with yourself and your student about going back.
Some students are not ready to be in college. Have open and honest conversations. If they are ready to put in the work and have a plan, then they should return. If they need to take a semester off and regroup, that’s also fine. The path needs to be one they are ready to own. The goal is to help them flourish and launch into a life! I was moved by this piece by a recent college grad on their gap semester.
And lastly, give yourself a break.
As parents, we want the best for our kids. And we worry when they are struggling. College is a process. A challenging first semester in college can be a positive life-transforming moment.
Take time between semesters to have honest conversations, identify problems, and develop a game plan for the next semester. If it helps, here is some advice I shared with first-year students in August on how to build the roadmap for success.
The phrase “academic pressure” has become a common topic in today’s discussions about education. Students are faced with increasing demands to perform exceptionally well in their studies, and societal expectations for success only intensify this pressure.
The prevailing atmosphere suggests that striving for perfection is an understandable requirement, but is it? By and large, it creates an environment where any deviation from this ideal is deemed unacceptable.
Unfortunately, the consequences of this academic pressure extend far beyond the confines of the classroom. It can significantly impact the mental and emotional well-being of students.
At a very early age, children are encouraged to continuously think ahead and academically prepare themselves for subsequent academic milestones. This cyclical pattern of continuously anticipating the next step in academia can be quite damaging.
The expectation to excel academically can lead to a variety of stressors for students. The constant need to meet high standards, achieve top grades, and excel in various extracurricular activities can result in an overwhelming sense of pressure.
This pressure, when left unmanaged, may contribute to the development of anxiety and depression among students. The fear of failure, coupled with the relentless pursuit of perfection, can create a toxic cycle that adversely affects not only academic performance but also mental health.
Moreover, the impact of academic pressure is not limited to individual students; it reverberates throughout the educational system and society at large. Educational institutions, driven by competition and the pursuit of academic excellence, may inadvertently contribute to an environment where students feel compelled to prioritize grades over genuine learning.
This emphasis on performance metrics can undermine the development of critical thinking, creativity, and a love for learning—all of which are essential for personal and intellectual growth.
How to Navigate the Pursuit of Perfection
While academic excellence is undoubtedly important, it is equally vital to strike a balance between encouraging achievement and acknowledging the importance of a holistic education.
Encouraging a growth mindset allows children to embrace challenges as opportunities for learning rather than insurmountable obstacles.
In discussions about academic pressure, redefining success emerges as a powerful strategy. Success should not be measured solely by grades or standardized test scores. Instead, it should encompass personal growth, resilience, and the development of critical skills that extend beyond the confines of a classroom.
Encourage a well-rounded education that includes not only academic excellence but also the development of social, emotional, and physical skills.
Recognize the value of extracurricular activities, sports, arts, and community involvement in fostering a holistic growth mindset.
2. Promote Growth Mindset
Foster a growth mindset that emphasizes the idea that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.
Teach children to view challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, promoting resilience and a positive attitude toward setbacks.
3. Balance Expectations
Set realistic expectations for academic achievement, taking into account individual abilities and interests.
Encourage open communication between parents, teachers, and students to ensure that expectations are understood and manageable.
4. Emphasize Intrinsic Motivation
Cultivate a sense of intrinsic motivation by helping children find personal meaning and enjoyment in their academic pursuits.
Guide them to set goals based on their interests and passions rather than external pressures.
5. Measure Success Diversely
Redefine success by considering a broader range of factors such as personal growth, emotional intelligence, adaptability, and problem-solving skills.
Recognize and celebrate achievements beyond grades, including efforts, resilience, and the ability to overcome challenges.
6. Encouraging Well-Being
Prioritize mental and physical well-being alongside academic achievement. Teach the importance of self-care and stress management.
Create an environment where asking for help is encouraged, reducing the stigma associated with seeking support.
7. Flexible Learning Paths
Acknowledge and support diverse learning paths. Not every student will excel in the same way or at the same pace, and that’s perfectly acceptable.
In Addition …
1. Parents Should Model Healthy Behavior
Parents, educators, and mentors play a crucial role in modeling a healthy attitude towards success. Demonstrate the value of learning, growth, and balance in your own life.
Just as well, fostering open communication channels enables a deeper understanding of a child’s aspirations, fears, and challenges. It allows parents to provide the necessary support without inadvertently adding to the burden.
Setting realistic expectations is a cornerstone of alleviating academic pressure. Acknowledging that each child has unique strengths and weaknesses fosters an environment where the pursuit of perfection becomes a personal journey rather than an externally imposed mandate.
2. The Educational System’s Role
Educational institutions must also play their part in mitigating academic pressure. Embracing progressive assessment methods that focus on understanding and application rather than rote memorization can contribute to a more nurturing learning environment.
Creating a positive learning environment involves more than academic rigor. It encompasses supportive teaching methodologies, extracurricular activities, and a commitment to fostering a love for learning. When students feel encouraged and supported, the pursuit of perfection becomes a shared journey rather than an individual burden.
The Last Word
The relentless pursuit of academic excellence and perfection often takes a toll on students’ mental health. Anxiety, stress, and even depression can become unwelcome companions in their academic journey. As parents, it’s crucial to recognize these signs and discuss them proactively.
The discussions surrounding academic pressure and the pursuit of perfection are essential dialogues that shape the educational progress of children.
By encouraging a balanced approach, redefining success, and embracing a holistic view of education, we can create an environment where the pursuit of excellence aligns with the well-being of our children.
Thanks to the oral surgeon who extracted four wisdom teeth from my college student’s mouth and the 20-minutes-on-20-minutes-off ice pack schedule, we were tethered to our TV. I hovered and pampered, thrilled to have the chance to dote on my nearly-grown teen.
Armed with meds, smoothies, and Netflix, we whiled away the day looking for the best teen movies to watch together. Here are the top 100 movies (from the 1980s and beyond) to watch with your teen or young adult. From teen angst to classics, we’ve got you covered with this list of movies that are appropriate and fun to watch with your family.
Good movies to watch with your older son or daughter
Academy award-winning good
Forrest Gump (1994)
In terms of award winners, this title on my best teen movies list has the most accolades earning Best Picture, Director, Actor (Tom Hanks), Adapted Screenplay, Visual Effects, and Film Editing.
Based on the novel with the same name by Winston Groom, the story is about intellectually challenged and incredibly sweet Forrest Gump who manages to be on the scene in memorable moments of American history (1944 -1982). Bonus is watching gorgeous Robin Wright, way before her Claire Underwood/House of Cards days.
2. Good Will Hunting (1997)
The movie that put the careers of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon (Academy Award, Best Actor and Best Original Screenplay with Affleck) on the map also stars Robin Williams (Academy Award, Best Supporting Actor). Damon plays a brilliant but misguided dropout working as a janitor at MIT and Williams is the therapist who works hard to reach his troubled patient.
To watch now-superstars Damon and Affleck acting in their mid-twenties in this excellent movie is a thrill. Boston lovers will soak up the scenery and the accents.
3. Moneyball (2011)
We love every word that writer Michael Lewis has put on paper and highly recommend Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game. The movie, based on his book, was nominated for six Academy Awards including Best Picture. Brad Pitt played Billy Bean, general manager of the Oakland A’s, and Jonah Hill portrayed Ivy-league stats-smart Assistant General Manager Peter Brand. These two actors were nominated for Best Male Actor and Best Supporting Actor, respectively.
This true story of how an underfunded baseball team could win 20 consecutive games, an American League record, by inventing a radical approach to scouting talent is remarkable and the movie, unforgettable.
4. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
The great tragedy and extreme violence of war that Academy Award-winning director Steven Spielberg created here is a graphic view of the battlefield. For an older kid who has studied WWII, this movie will vividly bring to life classroom lessons. Set during the Invasion of Normandy, it depicts the search for a paratrooper, Private Ryan (Matt Damon) who is the surviving brother of four servicemen. The movie won four additional awards.
5. Clueless (1995)
Clueless won 6 awards. Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) is a high school student in Beverly Hills who struggles to navigate adolescence. At first glance, she appears to be completely vapid but all is not what it seems as she helps the new girl Tai. The movie is worth a watch if you are a Paul Rudd fan, and to be honest, who isn’t?
6. Barbie (2023) The Barbie movie is heartfelt, inspiring, and truly makes you reflect on motherhood. Barbie and Ken are living an ideal life in Barbie Land. However, when they get a chance to go to the real world, they find out the joys and perils of living among humans.
7.Inside Out (2015) Inside Out is an animated comedy about a girl named Riley, who is uprooted from her life in the Midwest when her family moves to San Francisco. Riley feels many emotions along the journey of being in a new location and each emotion is shown as an actual character. This movie delves deep into each emotion we experience as humans.
8. Mr. Holland’s Opus (1995) Composer Glenn Holland believes that he’ll eventually write a great piece of music, but currently, he’s taken a job at an Oregon high school. Though at first, the job frustrates him, Mr. Holland grows to love his students as the “temporary” position stretches decades long. In the end, his students show how much they love him.
9. The Sandlot (1993) When Scottie Smalls moves to a new neighborhood, he makes friends with the kids who play baseball at the sandlot and they go on a series of funny adventures.
10.McFarland, USA (2015) Track coach Jim White is new to a predominantly Latino high school in California’s Central Valley. Coach White and his students find that they have a lot to learn about one another.
On the edge of your seat good movies
11. The Giver(2014) This young adult dystopian book was amazing and so is the movie. This one is sure to keep you glued.
12. Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman play the roles of prison inmates at Shawshank State Penitentiary in Maine. Robbins plays Andy Dufresne, a banker wrongly convicted of murdering his wife and her lover, who was sent to jail for two life sentences in 1947. While there he meets Red (Morgan Freeman) who excels at importing contraband into the prison from the outside world. Over time, their fortunes rise and fall within the prison but their friendship holds steady. It should come as no surprise that the movie is filled with suspense, given that it is based on a novella by Stephen King, “Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.”
13. Divergent (2014) In this sci-fi movie, the world is divided based on virtues, and Tris learns she’s Divergent and won’t fit in. When she discovers there is a plot to get rid of Divergents, Tris and the other Four need to discover what makes Divergents dangerous before it’s too late.
14.North Face (2008) North Face is an adventure film, based on a true story, about a competition to climb the most dangerous rock face in the Alps.
Our favorite teen movies
15. Eighth Grade (2018) If you’re having trouble remembering what it’s like to be in eighth grade, here you go. Kayla is so shy that she mostly connects through social media. It’s Kayla’s final week in the eighth grade and she vows to make it as great as possible before she moves on to high school.
16. Legally Blonde (2001)
I love Reese Witherspoon’s depiction of Elle Wood, a shopping-focused, pink-clad coed whose determination to prove her intelligence to her ex-boyfriend leads her to a spot in his same class at Harvard Law School. Improbable? Of course! But who cares as we watch Elle overcome prejudice and sexism and transform into a legal star while still maintaining her values, loyalty, and sense of style. What’s not to love about a young woman managing all that?
17. Men in Black (1997)
I am not sure if there’s ever been a better comedic duo than Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith in Men in Black. Described on Wikipedia as a “science fiction buddy cop action comedy,” the fusion of genres and abundance of talent in the lead roles makes me want to watch this one over and over.
Two agents (Jones and Smith) supervise extraterrestrial life on Earth and basically try to save the world, looking very cool in their dark sunglasses while doing so. If you and your teen are loving this one, take the plunge and watch the two sequels, MIB2 and MIB3.
18. 13 Going on 30 (2004)
Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo star in this rom-com fantasy where they are irresistibly adorable as grown-up versions of their 13-year-old selves. Portraying next-door neighbors and best friends, Jenna Rink (Garner) and Matt Flamhaff (Ruffalo) weather the trials of middle school together until Jenna’s 13th birthday when she is humiliated by the mean, cool kids she invited to her party.
In the next scene, she emerges as a 30-year-old, confused about how she got there and why her life is so very different than the one she dreamed of. The movie’s soundtrack includes hit songs from the 1980s-2000s, in particular, “Thriller” by Michael Jackson, the tune featured during my favorite scene of the entire movie.
On a personal note, Legally Blonde and 13 Going on 30 were two of my daughter’s favorites growing up and we watched them over and over during her middle school years. Since she is temporarily grounded from her life as a college student, we have the chance to curl up together and watch these favorites from her childhood. While these moments come with some discomfort for her (hoping that will pass soon) for me, it doesn’t get much better than this.
19. Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012) Socially awkward teen Charlie (Logan Lerman) is watching life from the sidelines when free-spirited Sam (Emma Watson) and her stepbrother Patrick (Ezra Miller) help Charlie discover the joys of friendship, first love, music and more.
20. Dumplin’(2018) In a small Texas town, a plus-size teen, the daughter of a former beauty queen, signs up for a beauty pageant to spite her mom — and ends up inspiring others to try out as well.
21. Sierra Burgess Is A Loser(2018) A modern take on Cyrano De Bergerac.
22. Tall Girl(2019) This movie centers around the tallest girl in high school who is 6’1”, who falls for a handsome foreign exchange student. But, she finds herself caught in a love triangle and realizes she’s more than her insecurities about being so tall.
23. You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah(2013) Stacy and Lydia are best friends who’ve dreamed about having amazing bat mitzvahs. However, things start to go comically wrong when a boy and middle school drama threatens their friendship.
24. Prom Pact (2023) It is the height of prom season, but high school senior Mandy has her sights set on attending Harvard. When she gets deferred, she is determined to get herself off the waitlist, even if that means asking for help from all-star jock Graham, whose father is a powerful senator and Harvard alum.
25. #REALITYHIGH(2017) Dani does well in school, volunteers at the animal clinic, and is focused on getting into college, but is befriended by Alexa, the popular girl. Dani enjoys the attention. However, Alexa cannot be trusted. The movie centers around reflections on staying true to yourself, taking the moral high ground, and the shallowness of popularity.
26. The DUFF(2015) High-school senior Bianca learns that her classmates secretly know her as the DUFF – designated ugly fat friend — to her prettier and more popular friends. Bianca becomes eager to reinvent herself and gets help from Wesley, a charming jock.
27. Can’t Buy Me Love (1987) Cheerleader Cindy Mancini (Amanda Peterson) accidentally destroys her mother’s designer clothes. However, nerdy Ronald agrees to pay for the $1,000 outfit on one condition: that she will act as though they’re a couple for an entire month. However, Cindy begins enjoying spending time with Ronald, making him popular. The overall message is about how social success isn’t everything.
28. Bring it On (2000) The Toro cheerleading squad is ready to win the national championship trophy for the sixth year in a row. But the Toros’ road to total cheer glory takes a turn when it’s discovered that their routines were stolen from another team.
29.17 Again(2009) Mike O’Donnell (Matthew Perry) was a high-school basketball star, but he threw it away to marry his girlfriend and raise their child. Almost 20 years later, Mike’s marriage has failed and his kids think he’s a loser. However, he gets a chance to correct the mistakes of his past and change his life when he is miraculously transformed into a teenager (Zac Efron).
30. Easy A (2010) Prompted by her popular best friend to spill details of her weekend, Olive (Emma Stone), a clean-cut teen, lies about losing her virginity. When the high-school busybody (Amanda Bynes) overhears the conversation and spreads this information, Olive becomes notorious for the wrong reasons.
31. The Last Song(2011) Unruly New York teen Ronnie learns that she and her younger brother Jonah have to go stay with their father for the summer. Ronnie does not want to spend time away from her friends.
32. 16 Candles (1984) Samantha faces her 16th birthday with typical adolescent dread. Samantha likes an older boy, Jake, but worries her chastity will get in the way. Meanwhile, nerdy Ted is the one who likes Samantha.
Romance is never a bad choice
33. The Perfect Date(2019) A fun rom-com: See what happens when a high school student played by Noah Centineo creates an app to offer his services as a fake date to make money for college. Of course, nothing goes as planned.
34. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018) In this Netflix original movie, we are presented with every high schoolers nightmare when a teenage girl’s secret love letters are exposed and wreak havoc on her love life. This is the original of the To All the Boys franchise of America including three feature films and a spin-off television series starring Lana Condor as Lara Jean and Noah Centineo as Peter Kavinsky.
35. Love, Simon (2018) Another teen rom-com starring Evan Goldberg a high school student who falls in love with an anonymous classmate via email. Another student finds the emails and Simon must face the truth about his identity.
36. The Kissing Booth(2018) The film follows Elle (King), a quirky, late-blooming teenager whose budding romance with bad boy Noah (Elordi) puts her lifelong friendship with Noah’s younger brother Lee (Courtney) in jeopardy.
37. La La Land (2016) This is just a fun movie — the colors, the songs, and the relationship between Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone.
38. (500) Days of Summer (2009) Tom Hansen reflects on his relationship with the girlfriend who has just dumped him. He tries to figure out where things went wrong and how he can win her back.
39. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, this one stars the late Heath Ledger.
40. You’ve Got Mail(1998) Remember when you’d dial into your modem and hear, “You’ve got mail.” I’ve seen this film at least 20 times but would watch it again anytime, anywhere. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan fall in love in a wonderful, fun, romantic way.
41. Paper Towns (2015) Margo, the most popular student, recruits young and shy Quentin, to help her prank the friends who betrayed her. The day after, Margo disappears. With help from a few friends and clues Margo left behind, Quentin makes it his goal to find the girl who stole his heart.
42. Everything, Everything (2018) The unlikely love story of Maddy, an 18-year-old who cannot leave the house due to an illness, and Olly, the boy next door.
43. Me and Earl and The Dying Girl(2015) A teen who enjoys making parodies of movies befriends a classmate who has just been diagnosed with leukemia and his entire outlook on life changes.
If you and your teen need a good cry
44. The Edge of Seventeen (2016) Described as funny, touching, and poignant, Hailee Steinfeld’s acting gets rave reviews. This film tells the story of Nadine who is a troubled teen struggling because her only friend has started a relationship with her brother.
45. The Fault in Our Stars(2014) A coming-of-age romance between two young cancer patients. Bring the tissues, a whole box will be needed.
46. Wonder (2017) Auggie Pullman, a boy with facial differences, stops being homeschooled and starts the 5th grade with other kids for the first time. As his community struggles with compassion and acceptance, Auggie’s journey unites them and proves that you cannot blend in when you were born to stand out.
47. If You Could See What I Hear (1982) Based on a true story, blind composer, Tom Sullivan goes from college to Cape Cod and falls in love.
Classics you should NOT miss
48. Lady Bird (2017) A deep, thoughtful dive into mother/daughter relationships is so worth watching if only for the excellent acting of star Saoirse Ronan. Makes you laugh and cry all at once.
49. Pitch Perfect (2012) This movie is just plain fun. Okay, fine it’s a little hokey, but so much fun watching Anna Kendrick do her thing and that thing is fabulous acapella.
50. Superbad(2007) A coming-of-age comedy produced by the amazing Judd Apatow. The film’s stars Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg are about to graduate from high school but before graduating, the boys have plans.
51. Mean Girls (2004) Starring Tina Fey, this comedy tackles high school drama, bullying, and romance.
52. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) And there can be no list that doesn’t feature this John Hughes classic starring Matthew Broderick who spends the day playing hockey in Chicago.
53. The Breakfast Club (1985) Yes, you’ve seen it a thousand times but watching it with your teen is a whole different experience and a great opportunity to discuss what high school was like back in the day. A group of five high school students spend the day in detention learning a lot about themselves and each other. The five actors who became known at the Brat Pack are Molly Ringwald, Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, and Anthony Michael Hall.
54. Fast Times at Ridgemont High(1982) A coming-of-age comedy-drama film based on the book Fast Times at Ridgemont High: A True Story. The author went undercover at Clairemont High School in San Diego and wrote about his experiences. The film chronicles a school year in the lives of high school sophomores and their older friends.
55. Rebel Without A Cause (1955) If you want to see the OG of coming-of-age dramas, this is it. The more things change the more they stay the same. This movie is as iconic as the acting of its star the legendary James Dean.
56. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. (2023) This movie is based on a novel by Judy Blume, published in 1970. The movie is about Margaret Simon, a sixth-grader who grows up without a religious affiliation because of her parents’ interfaith marriage, and portrays relatable struggles many young girls face.
57. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) To escape the tedium of working at Life Magazine, Walter inhabits a world of exciting daydreams in which he is the hero. Walter would like to date another employee named Cheryl, but he feels unworthy. However, Life’s new owners send him to obtain the perfect photo for the final print issue and he goes on an adventure.
Who doesn’t love a comedy?
58. Booksmart (2019) This is a coming-of-age comedy starring Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever as graduating high school girls who set out to finally break the rules and party on their last day of classes.
59. John Tucker Must Die(2006) A teen romantic comedy in which three girls learn that high school basketball star John Tucker is simultaneously dating all of them. Hilarity ensues.
60. Napoleon Dynamite(2004) You need to watch this movie with your teen. Our family quotes lines from this movie every day. It’s laugh-out-loud funny but also poignant. The characters in this movie are quirky, none more so than Napoleon’s friend Pedro and his bizarre older brother Kip.
61. Heathers(1988) A dark comedy starring Winona Ryder as Veronica Sawyer ends up embroiled in a series of violent deaths.
62. Chef (2014) Chef Carl Casper (Jon Favreau) quits his position at a prestigious Los Angeles restaurant. As he tries to figure out his next step, he finds himself in Miami. Carl joins forces with his ex-wife (Sofía Vergara), best friend (John Leguizamo) and son (Emjay Anthony) to launch a food truck business. 63. Love Rosie(2014) Best friends Rosie and Alex are suddenly separated when Alex and his family move from Dublin to America. Watch to find out if their friendship survives years and distance.
64. Senior Year (2022) In this comedy, a high-school cheerleader falls into a coma right before the biggest night of her senior year: prom. Twenty years later, she awakens from her coma and decides to finish her high school education to be crowned prom queen.
65. She’s The Man (2006)
After being ditched by her brother, Viola heads to his elite boarding school, disguised as him.
For the sports lovers
66. Friday Night Lights (2004) This movie is remarkable in its depiction of high school sports, friendships, and the families that are woven into the community’s fabric. Based on the book, Friday Night Lights: A Town, a Team and a Dream by H.G. Bissinger, the movie later spawned a TV series so if you get hooked on the movie and need more material, check out the show, also starring Connie Britton.
67. Glory Road(2006) After being appointed the new coach of the 1966 Texas Miners, Don Haskins (Josh Lucas) builds a team based on talent instead of on race. The conservative townsfolk balk at the diverse lineup even though the team is winning.
68. When the Game Stands Tall (2014) In 2003, high-school football coach Bob Ladouceur (Jim Caviezel) and the team completed an incredible 151 consecutive victories and 12-straight state championships. However, the coach has a brush with calamity, while the Spartans have a challenging season.
69. Hoosiers (1986) A failed college coach has the opportunity to redeem himself when he is hired to direct a high school basketball program. After a teacher persuades the star player to quit and focus on academics, Dale struggles to develop a winning team in the face of community criticism for his temper and choice of assistant coach: Shooter, a notorious alcoholic.
70. Draft Day (2014) Sonny Weaver Jr. is the general manager of the Cleveland Browns. One of pro football’s most important days, NFL draft day is coming up, but Sonny is worried about the fact that his partner is pregnant, and the team’s owner wants to fire him. After Sonny accepts a deal with Seattle, he ponders if he has made the correct choice.
71. Perfect Game (2009) In Monterrey, Mexico, a group of boys discovers the joys of sandlot baseball. Armed with a dream of playing in the Little League, the boys defy the odds, setting off on an unprecedented winning streak.
72. Miracle on Ice (1981) The inspiring true story of Herb Brooks (Karl Malden) and the 1980 U.S. men’s Olympic hockey team, took home the gold medal after defeating the heavily favored Soviet team.
73. Eddie the Eagle(2016) Eddie’s never-say-die attitude takes him all the way to the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary, Alberta, despite an entire nation counting him out.
74. Forever Strong(2008) A troubled rugby player Rick Penning is sent to a juvenile detention centre, where he plays for the prison team — his former rivals.
75. Million Dollar Arm(2014) Sports agent J.B. Bernstein heads to India to find a cricket player whom he can nurture into a major league star. With the help of a scout, J.B. finds teens Dinesh and Rinku who come to adjust to American life and learn valuable lessons about teamwork and family.
More captivating movies
76. 5 People You Meet in Heaven (2004) Aging handyman Eddie (Jon Voight) dies saving a small child from death and enters the pearly gates and is reunited with a quintet of people who played important roles in his life.
77. The Emperor’s Club (2002) A classics professor devoted his life to teaching. However, a new student joins his class and inexorably alters Mr. Hundert’s life.
78. Invictus(2009) After his 27-year imprisonment and election as President of South Africa, Nelson Mandela faces the task of unifying a country divided by race.
79. St Vincent (2014) A struggling single woman moves to Brooklyn with her 12-year-old son, Oliver. Having to work very long hours, she leaves her son with a neighbor, Vincent, who takes Oliver along on his trips to the strip club and dive bar, and an unlikely friendship is born. The man is a mentor to the boy, and Oliver sees the good in Vincent that no one else can.
80. The Power of One (1992) It’s the 1930s, and young South African P.K. bonds with much older Doc (Armin Mueller-Stahl). But Doc is detained when World War II starts. As he travels to different bouts, the adult P.K. forges relationships that anger the state’s government, but his reunion with his one-time schoolyard nemesis may be his biggest challenge.
81. October Sky(1999) A West Virginia coal miner who loves his job expects his sons to follow in his footsteps. But Jim gets a football scholarship, and Homer becomes interested in rocket science after seeing Sputnik 1 crossing the sky.
82. Cinema Paradiso (1988) Young Salvatore Di Vita finds an escape from life in his war-torn Sicilian village: the Cinema Paradiso movie house. When Salvatore grows up, he falls in love with a beautiful local girl and takes over as the Paradiso’s projectionist.
83. Pay it Forward(2000) A social studies teacher gives a project to think of an idea to change the world for the better, then put it into action. One student creates a plan for “paying forward” favors, setting up an unprecedented wave of human kindness.
84. Woodlawn (2015) After government-mandated desegregation in 1973, Tony Nathan joins fellow African-American students at Woodlawn High School in Birmingham, Alabama. As hostility begins in the city, the Woodlawn football coach has an outsider speak to the players, with a message of hope and love that leads to a spiritual awakening.
85. The Good Lie(2014) After their village is destroyed and their parents killed, Sudanese orphans Theo, his siblings and other survivors go to a refugee camp in Kenya. Thirteen years later, they settle in Kansas and meet Carrie Davis (Reese Witherspoon), who helps get them jobs. However, seeing how adrift they are in 20th-century America, Carrie helps them rebuild their lives.
86. The Impossible (2012) In December 2004, a family is on vacation in Thailand when the day after Christmas, their holiday turns into a nightmare when the terrifying tsunami hits. In their darkest time, unexpected displays of kindness and courage ameliorate their terror.
87. Little Boy(2015) When an auto mechanic is sent to fight during World War II, he leaves behind his family. His son Pepper feels his father’s absence the most. However, an encounter with a magician and advice from a priest convinces Pepper he may be able to bring his dad back safely himself.
88. Begin Again (2013) Gretta (Keira Knightley) and her songwriting partner Dave (Adam Levine) head for New York when he gets a record deal. Gretta is left on her own when Dave gives in to temptations. Then a disgraced record executive, discovers Gretta performing in a club which changes her life.
89. Annie(2014) Based on the classic musical, Annie, this new version follows the plotline of a foster kid living with her mean foster mom. Her life completely changes when New York City mayoral candidate Will Stacks makes a campaign move and takes her in.
90. Life of Pi (2012) Santosh and Gita Patel take a freighter with their sons and a few remaining animals after they sell their zoo in India. An awful storm sinks the ship, leaving the Patels’ teenage son, Pi, as the only human survivor, along with a fearsome Bengal tiger that also found refuge aboard the lifeboat.
91. The Ultimate Gift(2006) Jason Stevens lives a life of wealth and privilege and expects to receive a hefty inheritance when his grandfather passes. However, to earn the true gift his grandfather meant for him, Jason has to go on a journey of self-discovery.
92. The Ultimate Life(2013) A billionaire has trouble making his girlfriend a priority. To learn some wise advice, he reads his grandfather’s journal.
93. The Rookie (2018) After a life-altering incident, John Nolan wants to be an LAPD officer. He is the oldest rookie, and others are skeptical because if he can’t keep up with the criminals, he’ll be risking lives. However, if his determination and sense of humor give him an edge, he may become successful.
94. Bridge of Spies(2015) In the Cold War, the Soviet Union captures U.S. pilot Francis Gary Powers. Sentenced to 10 years in prison, Powers’ only hope is a New York lawyer, who will negotiate his release.
95. About Time(2013) When Tim Lake is 21, his father tells him that the men in their family have the ability to time travel. Tim time travels and decides to improve his life by getting a girlfriend. But, Tim realizes that this power cannot shield him and those he loves from the problems of ordinary life.
96.Yes Day (2021) Allison and Carlos give their kids a “Yes Day,” and the kids have 24 hours to make the rules.
97. The Way, Way Back (2013) An awkward teen spends summer at a beach house with his mother, her boyfriend, Trent, and Trent’s obnoxious daughter. Trent badgers Duncan, he goes to a water park and gets a job there and finds a father figure in wisecracking park manager Owen.
98. Victory(1981) Soccer enthusiast Karl von Steiner creates a match between Nazi players and their Allied captives.
99. Akeelah and the Bee (2006) 11-year-old Akeelah discovers her talent for spelling, hoping to go to the National Spelling Bee. Despite her mother’s objections, Akeelah finds help from a teacher and overwhelming support from her community.
100. Boyhood(2014) Everything about growing up is seen through the eyes of a child named Mason, and his parents and sister. Over 12 years, this movie was filmed with the same cast and depicts family meals, road trips, birthday parties, graduations and other important milestones.
Open and honest discussions with your child on sensitive topics is an essential part of their emotional and intellectual development. It is important, therefore, to establish a safe space that encourages your child to express their thoughts, feelings, and questions without fear of judgment.
The creation of a safe space for discussing sensitive topics with your child is an ongoing journey that requires dedication and effort.
It means prioritizing open communication, active listening, and addressing challenges empathetically, and recognizing that every child is unique. Tailoring your approach to their individual needs significantly contributes to the success of these vital conversations.
How To Do It!
Photo by Yan Krukau (Pexels)
1. Encourage Open Communication
Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when it comes to the parent-child relationship. Establishing an environment where your child feels comfortable discussing sensitive topics is instrumental in their overall well-being.
With good communication, you not only build trust but also provide your child with the confidence to solve complex issues.
2. Become an Active Listener
Active listening stands out as one of the pivotal elements of open communication. As a parent, the art of active listening involves not just hearing but truly understanding your child’s words. Understand their feelings without being judgmental.
When your child senses this level of engagement, it builds trust and opens the gateway for them to share their thoughts and concerns more openly.
How to Address Challenges in Communication
1. Recognize Non-Verbal Cues
Children may not always express themselves verbally. Pay attention to non-verbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions. Understanding these cues allows you to address unspoken concerns and feelings.
2. Be Patient and Non-Judgmental
Some topics may be challenging for your child to articulate. Exercise patience and avoid passing judgment. Create an atmosphere where they feel safe expressing their thoughts at their own pace.
3. Use Simple Language:
Tailor your language to the child’s age and developmental level.
Avoid using complex or confusing language that may be difficult for them to grasp.
4. Establish Routine Communication Time:
Create a regular time for open communication, such as family meetings, where everyone has the opportunity to share their thoughts and concerns.
5. Model Effective Communication:
Demonstrate good communication skills by expressing yourself clearly and respectfully.
Children often learn by observing, so be a positive role model
Selecting an appropriate setting for discussions is crucial. Opt for a quiet and comfortable space where your child feels secure and free from potential interruptions. This setting will contribute to a sense of privacy and safety.
2. Set a Positive Tone
Approach conversations with a positive and non-confrontational tone. Use affirming language and reassure your child that they can share their thoughts without facing criticism. By setting a positive tone, you create an atmosphere conducive to open dialogue.
3. Establish Boundaries and Consistency
Clearly define the boundaries of your discussions. Ensure your child understands that the established safe space is meant for open communication but comes with the responsibility of respectful dialogue. Consistency is key to reinforcing these boundaries.
In addition:
Be Approachable: Create an environment where your child feels comfortable approaching you with any topic.
Be Non-Judgmental: Avoid reacting negatively or expressing disapproval. Instead, encourage your child to share their thoughts openly.
Provide Age-Appropriate Information: Tailor your discussions to your child’s age and level of understanding.
Respect Privacy: Recognize that your child may not always feel comfortable sharing every detail. Respect their privacy and encourage open communication over time.
How to Handle Sensitive Topics
1. Be Informed and Prepared
Before initiating discussions on sensitive topics, equip yourself with accurate information. Being informed allows you to provide your child with clear and factual answers, fostering trust in the information you share.
2. Encourage Questions
Create an environment where your child not only feels free to ask questions but is actively encouraged to do so. Communicate that curiosity is a natural part of learning, and you are there to provide guidance and support.
This approach demystifies sensitive subjects and cultivates a healthy curiosity.
Overall, promoting open and honest discussions contribute significantly to your child’s emotional and intellectual growth, creating a foundation for a healthy and trusting relationship.
Open and honest discussions with your child on sensitive topics is an essential part of their emotional and intellectual development. It is important, therefore, to establish a safe space that encourages your child to express their thoughts, feelings, and questions without fear of judgment.
The creation of a safe space for discussing sensitive topics with your child is an ongoing journey that requires dedication and effort.
It means prioritizing open communication, active listening, and addressing challenges empathetically, and recognizing that every child is unique. Tailoring your approach to their individual needs significantly contributes to the success of these vital conversations.
How To Do It!
Photo by Yan Krukau (Pexels)
1. Encourage Open Communication
Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially when it comes to the parent-child relationship. Establishing an environment where your child feels comfortable discussing sensitive topics is instrumental in their overall well-being.
With good communication, you not only build trust but also provide your child with the confidence to solve complex issues.
2. Become an Active Listener
Active listening stands out as one of the pivotal elements of open communication. As a parent, the art of active listening involves not just hearing but truly understanding your child’s words. Understand their feelings without being judgmental.
When your child senses this level of engagement, it builds trust and opens the gateway for them to share their thoughts and concerns more openly.
How to Address Challenges in Communication
1. Recognize Non-Verbal Cues
Children may not always express themselves verbally. Pay attention to non-verbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions. Understanding these cues allows you to address unspoken concerns and feelings.
2. Be Patient and Non-Judgmental
Some topics may be challenging for your child to articulate. Exercise patience and avoid passing judgment. Create an atmosphere where they feel safe expressing their thoughts at their own pace.
3. Use Simple Language:
Tailor your language to the child’s age and developmental level.
Avoid using complex or confusing language that may be difficult for them to grasp.
4. Establish Routine Communication Time:
Create a regular time for open communication, such as family meetings, where everyone has the opportunity to share their thoughts and concerns.
5. Model Effective Communication:
Demonstrate good communication skills by expressing yourself clearly and respectfully.
Children often learn by observing, so be a positive role model
Selecting an appropriate setting for discussions is crucial. Opt for a quiet and comfortable space where your child feels secure and free from potential interruptions. This setting will contribute to a sense of privacy and safety.
2. Set a Positive Tone
Approach conversations with a positive and non-confrontational tone. Use affirming language and reassure your child that they can share their thoughts without facing criticism. By setting a positive tone, you create an atmosphere conducive to open dialogue.
3. Establish Boundaries and Consistency
Clearly define the boundaries of your discussions. Ensure your child understands that the established safe space is meant for open communication but comes with the responsibility of respectful dialogue. Consistency is key to reinforcing these boundaries.
In addition:
Be Approachable: Create an environment where your child feels comfortable approaching you with any topic.
Be Non-Judgmental: Avoid reacting negatively or expressing disapproval. Instead, encourage your child to share their thoughts openly.
Provide Age-Appropriate Information: Tailor your discussions to your child’s age and level of understanding.
Respect Privacy: Recognize that your child may not always feel comfortable sharing every detail. Respect their privacy and encourage open communication over time.
How to Handle Sensitive Topics
1. Be Informed and Prepared
Before initiating discussions on sensitive topics, equip yourself with accurate information. Being informed allows you to provide your child with clear and factual answers, fostering trust in the information you share.
2. Encourage Questions
Create an environment where your child not only feels free to ask questions but is actively encouraged to do so. Communicate that curiosity is a natural part of learning, and you are there to provide guidance and support.
This approach demystifies sensitive subjects and cultivates a healthy curiosity.
Overall, promoting open and honest discussions contribute significantly to your child’s emotional and intellectual growth, creating a foundation for a healthy and trusting relationship.
Every December since becoming a parent I have vowed to do better. I promised to spend more time playing on the floor with my kids. I swore I would volunteer at school more regularly. I pledged to be more patient with my teens and later to send care packages to college. Each year, I made my parenting new year’s resolutions.
First, I resolve to STOP nagging. (Shutterstock Perfect Wave)
My parenting New Year’s Resolutions for 2024
Every year there were new promises and new failures (this year’s care package, sent through Amazon, wound up on my own front doorstep). Despite this I am prepared to look at the new year afresh and willingly ignore my abysmal track record. Moving on, here are my New Year’s Resolutions:
1. Stop nagging.
Okay, nag less. I am not foolish enough to think I can stop cold turkey. Teens barely hear our nagging, it is the unwelcome background noise to their lives. Years of experience has shown that needless repetition yields little or no results. Young adults don’t deserve to be nagged, the expiration date has run out on that one.
Most of the things I nag my kids about — sleeping until noon, leaving a trail of devastation through our home, applying for a summer job — I know to be temporary. My new policy, I will wait them out.
2. Find small ways to be in my kid’s lives yet not disturb their lives.
Sure I would love it if my kids called me every day and told me everything going on in their lives, but am willing to acknowledge that this would benefit neither them, nor me. Instead this is going to be the year of the quick phone call, the short text or the amusing/meaningful photo offered up over GroupMe. When they were small they would run over and reach out to me or tell me a thought before running back to their friends. It worked then and I think it will work now.
3. Shut up about their appearance.
“Can you get that haircut?” “Are you really not going to shave?” Anyone who lived through the 80s has no business asking these questions. Here is the one defining truth: Youth is beautiful. I am going to hold that thought and leave it at that.
4. Keep working to define the line that runs between supportive and intrusive.
This is is life long project from the time we help our kids stand up on two feet. As my kids move into college and beyond, I want to continue to be supportive while fully grasping the meaning of the word “adult” My new policy? Give them help when they ask for it, not when I assume they need it. When they lay in their cribs they knew to cry when they needed me. I am going to assume they still have this skill.
5. Talk less and listen more.
Psychologist Lisa Damour calls it “taking out the emotional trash.” Our kids call or text, dump their problems and heartbreak on us, and then go on their merry way. They need to talk, but they don’t really need our solutions, or even our thoughts. Parents are a place to leave what ails kids, be it emotional baggage, or real baggage left in our basements.
There is a moment when you can resent being their dumping ground. Damour argues that listening to our kids can lighten their load in life, and I am more than happy to collect a bit of garbage to make that happen.
6. Remember that these days are short, too.
Year end seems a perfect moment to remember that just as the childhood years now seem to have flown by, one day these years will seem brief as well. It is easy to look back and chide ourselves for not making the most of every minute. We still have minutes, and these are every bit as precious.
A colleague recently sent me a meme that compared living with ADHD to constantly choosing to play a video game’s side quests – optional missions that are not required to complete the game – over its main quest. I laughed at the meme and reflected on the side quests and non-linear paths I’ve pursued in my own life, in and out of my career as a teacher.
Over the past 10 years, I’ve learned to sew and knit mittens, bake bread, bake sourdough bread (a completely different process), decorate cakes, cook and preserve a variety of foods, make candles, craft homemade lip balm and lotion, and edit with Photoshop. I volunteered with Big Brothers Big Sisters, ran four half marathons and three full marathons, did a triathlon, and a (maybe ill-advised) mountain race, all as I earned a master’s degree.
I’m on a side quest right now. I am writing a biology unit even though my school doesn’t currently offer a biology class. Should I devote my time to other lessons? Probably. But I tend to plan my lessons as they come to me. I’ve learned that my best work comes when I follow my creative instincts. Even if I forced myself to work linearly, I know it would result in subpar lesson plans.
I don’t list these side quests, many of which I consider accomplishments, to brag, (I am not particularly good at any of the above) but to emphasize that if anyone knows about ADHD side quests – the good and the not-so-good parts of them – it’s me. I can’t tell you how many times I’d set out to do something, like clean my kitchen, only to spend that time doing anything but, like perfecting my baking skills. As frustrating as it is to stray from my intentions (I ended up with yummy bread and a dirtier kitchen), I firmly believe that all the side quests I’ve embarked on have served me in the long run. I also know that this breadth of learning is only possible when I lean into my ADHD.
What’s Life – and Learning – Without Side Quests?
While funny, the ADHD meme suggests that side quests and non-linear paths are ultimately wasteful. It’s a mentality I see in the field of education, which is quick to discourage and even punish side quests and non-linear approaches. Students are largely taught to complete the main quest using only a handful of accepted procedures, without room for detours. It’s a mentality that negatively affects students who learn differently, including students with ADHD, who come to learn to view their condition as an impediment to academic success.
Side quests, I say, are not wasteful. Even within video games, you can earn rewards for playing side quests and gain skills that eventually aid in completing the main quest. If you shut off the game after finishing a handful of side quests, without so much as attempting the main quest, you would still consider it a success, if not a good time.
How can we bring this approach to learning? I have a few ideas.
1. Recognize that success and learning come in many forms. Point A to Point B may work for some students, but some of us need to stop at Points C through F, with a layover at stoichiometry and a quick detour to the American Revolution.
2. Provide opportunities to go down the rabbit hole. We should encourage students to take tangents and scratch those exploratory itches. My students get two days at the end of each term for digging deeper into a topic that was particularly interesting to them and then sharing with the class. It’s an opportunity to hyperfocus that also increases engagement, and it teaches students to view tangents and side quests in a positive light.
3. Reframe mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning. Mistakes and snags are part of learning (we can even consider them as side quests of their own), but it’s not always pleasant to brush up against them, whether they happen on side quests or the main quest. Take a page from video games, where failure doesn’t really exist and mistakes aren’t the end of the world. You may lose the round, but you’re allowed to play and play, using what you’ve learned until you get it right and move on to the next level.
How to Engage Students: Next Steps
CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.
Have you been to Grill Marks in Greenville, SC? If you’re looking for a delicious meal with the promise of a monumental dessert at the end, then you need to look no further than Grill Marks! This local burger place has milkshakes that steal the show.
At Grill Marks, you can: Get an Oreo Shake Get Some Whipped Cream On The Top Too Two Straws One Check Girl, They Got You!
The popular country song “Fancy Like” has everyone running out to grab an Oreo shake! So why not grab a yummy meal at the same time? You and your whole family can do just that at one of two different locations in Greenville, South Carolina.
Grill Marks Is Serving Up Delicious Meals In Greenville, SC
Yummy burgers, delicious chicken wings, outdoor dining, and those brunch bloody marys topped with hamburgers can all be found on any given day at Grill Marks in Greenville.
I’m a fan of the chicken wings, and my kids love the sliders! If you like thick-cut steak fries, Grill Marks has some of the best. Guests have the option to top them in all different ways, and it’s making my mouth water just thinking about it. If you prefer them skinny-cut, they have those too!
One of the great things about the menu is that they have items for vegans, a great kid’s menu, and fun cocktails for that rare kid-free moment. Plus, if you make the kids eat their veggies, you can reward them with the treat of a milkshake!
There’s now a slightly famous menu item at Grill Marks! One was recently featured on the Cooking Channel!
Save Room For A FreakShake!
The crazy milkshakes are what Grill Marks is famous for! Their completely over-the-top, insane milkshakes. The shakes come several different ways, and no matter which you choose, it’s going to be a milkshake dream come true!
Mark’s Famous Milkshakes Traditional milkshakes come in six different classic flavors. Guests can opt to make it a soda float too!
Freak Shakes Suitable for sharing, the FreakShakes are two desserts in one! There are seven FreakShake options to choose from. Our favorite is the chocolate crack brownie (pictured below).
Grown-Up Milkshakes at Grill Marks
Sometimes you don’t want to share with your kids. Sometimes you don’t want to share with anyone. I can’t promise it will work with adults, but if you get a boozy shake from Grill Marks, you can just tell the kids, “SORRY! Can’t share; it’s just for grown-ups”. Of course, you could do it with the non-alcoholic ones as well – we won’t tell!
Spiked Floats Grill Marks pairs soda, liquor, and ice cream in these adult beverages. There’s a Cheerwine and Bourbon one that any fan of either should try!
BeerShakes This sounds weird, I know. But the beer we are talking about isn’t an IPA paired with ice cream. It’s Milk Stout, and if you’ve never mixed a dark ale like this with dessert, you are missing out! Think of them as those mudslide drinks you would order at Applebee’s in your twenties, BUT ON STEROIDS.
ShakeTails Grill Marks uses liquor in place of the milk to blend up these signature milkshakes! They come in five different flavors. The smores ShakeTail is the best for cooling off on a hot summer night.
Grill Marks’ Hot Mess Burger Featured on The Cooking Channel
December 29th, 2022 was the premiere of the Epic Eats episode of Food Paradise. The episode looks at places around the country that serve over-the-top dishes like the Hot Mess burger. The towering burger includes a grilled cheese sandwich between 2 beef patties, bacon, a split hot dog, chili, three kinds of cheese, onion straws, fried pickles, lettuce, and tomato.
“Positive reinforcement, encouragement, and rewards help us create good habits; shame, criticism, and negative self-talk do not,” I say to a client, terrified that they see right through me and know that I’m actively beating myself up for falling weeks behind on paperwork.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 24 years old in the middle of earning my masters in clinical mental health counseling. I had always been praised for my intelligence. At the same time, I struggled with not feeling good enough, partly because of my challenges with disorganization, getting things done, forgetfulness, and other executive function areas where I sometimes came up short. I felt like an imposter. Of course, I knew that I was a capable person (and who doesn’t have imperfections?) but knowing and feeling are two very different things.
Even after completing my counselor training, embarking on a self-healing journey, and achieving a greater understanding of ADHD, feelings of shame, self-doubt, and anxiety still come up for me – the same feelings I help my own clients navigate. There are days when Imposter Syndrome crushes me, and when the shame spiral gets the best of me. I’ve gotten better at taking my own advice during those tough times, and it does help. Take it from me: You’ll want to use these strategies, too.
1. Self-Compassion Always Beats Out Self-Criticism
In times of high frustration, dysregulation, and paralysis, you may have found yourself thinking, “Why am I like this? I hate myself!” I know I have when I feel stuck and worthless. The moments when I want to shame and criticize myself are the moments when I need love and self-compassion the most, I’ve learned.
Imagine taking a moment to talk to that part of yourself that’s stuck on the couch scrolling on TikTok for hours because one look at the messy kitchen sent you into freeze mode. How does that part of you feel? What does it need? Maybe some encouragement and validation? Say to yourself, “I see that you’re overwhelmed and feeling a bit stuck. That must be so difficult and stressful. I know that you want to get those dishes done – maybe listening to a good song and singing along will get you moving. Let’s give it a try!
2. Be Proud of Yourself When Building Habits — and Prouder Still When You Restart
“This time will be different!” How many times have you said this to yourself after buying a new planner, signing up for the gym, starting a new school semester, and embarking on something new? If you’re anything like me, you’ll know that, inevitably, the newness fades, and so does the dopamine and the habit. You feel like a failure for not being able to stick to new habits.
But what if you just accepted that habit-forming is difficult, and that failing to stick to a habit isn’t the end of the world? I know when I start a new workout kick or cleaning schedule, I try to remember that that momentum will eventually fade, in large part due to how my brain works. This helps me let go of the shame around perceived failure and find a way to start the habit again in a new, engaging way.
3. Ask for Help. Don’t Hide Your Problems.
Shame shuts us down and tells us to keep things hidden. An antidote to shame is to be open about what’s troubling you. Acknowledge to yourself that you’re overwhelmed and exhausted. Talk about it over FaceTime with a friend. Tell a coworker that you’re behind on your work and make a plan to fix it.
When I was chronically behind on notes and documentation at work, the stress followed me home, affected my work with clients, and made me dread the next work day. It stayed that way until I talked to my boss and coworkers about it. I was able to make a plan with my coworker to “body double” every time we both had a free hour. My boss also checked in on me weekly, which helped me make realistic goals to get caught up. Will I still get behind on paperwork from time to time? Yes! But it doesn’t make me feel as overwhelmed and blocked as it once did.
“I don’t have time to read or journal when there’s still so much left to do!”
Denying yourself basic physical, emotional, and cognitive needs is not going to help you get things done faster. They are needs and should be treated as such, not as things you are only worthy of if you meet expectations. If I deny myself sleep to complete a task, it’s going to take me longer to complete it because I’ll be sleep deprived. If I don’t take time to journal, I’ll be too dysregulated to attend to what I need to. As a mental health professional, if I don’t take care of my own mental health, I am not in a place to help others. You are always worthy of giving yourself what you need.
Who says? Have you considered that the things we’ve been taught about productivity and functioning may not be well-suited for our brain type or learning style? If you get work done faster by jumping from project to project instead of focusing on one thing at a time, keep at it! If you can absorb information better by moving your body, do it! No one can claim to know you better than you know yourself.
ADHD Shame Spiral Advice: Next Steps
CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.
The incredible St. Augustine Pirate Museum has lots of amazing hands-on entertainment and treasures in St. Augustine, Florida.
Making a trip down the East Coast from the Upstate, SC? The St. Augustine Pirate & Treasure Museum is the real deal and has such cool exhibits and treasures! We checked it out and have all the details.
Everyone has fun at the St Augustine Pirate and Treasure Museum
About the St. Augustine Pirate & Treasure Museum
The museum is a brainchild of Pat Croce, a best-selling author, entrepreneur, and pirate scholar. Some of the artifacts in the museum were obtained from dives he did to sunken ships. So cool.
The museum initially opened in Key West in 2005 but was moved to St. Augustine in 2010, where it has resided ever since. St. Augustine, the nation’s oldest city, is no stranger to piracy after all. Famous pirates such as Robert Searles and Sir Frances Drake even visited St. Augustine. Castillo de San Marcos, the Spanish fort which I had visited on a previous trip (highly recommend, super neat), saw its fair share of pirates. It is right across the street from the pirate museum.
St Augustine Pirate and Treasure Museum
Today, the museum spans about 5,000 square feet and holds more than 800 authentic pirate artifacts ranging from the 1600s to the present day. The entire museum is arranged so that you feel like you’re actually on a pirate ship.
Exploring the Museum
Honestly, I thought the museum would be a little cheesy and touristy but I had seen good reviews and wanted to give it a shot. Also, one of my daughters had recently done a presentation on female pirates for school so we were already into the history of pirates and I thought this would make a fantastic addition to her knowledge of pirates.
I am happy to say I was blown away by this museum. It is not even close to being cheesy. I have always been fascinated by pirates and the museum just brings the history of piracy and the more famous pirates to life right in front of you.
There’s a scavenger hunt you can do during your time there where you look for drawers with the Jolly Roger sign (skull and crossbones) and write down what’s inside them on your treasure map. That was easy and fun for all of us and certainly interactive.
Captain Kidd’s Chest at the St Augustine Pirate and Treasure Museum
We found all kinds of incredible artifacts from sunken ships off the coasts of North Carolina and Florida that had been recovered even up to 2011. There were remnants of barrels, guns, pottery, glasses, and even books and Bibles.
Exhibits featured screens with drawings of famous pirates and their stories. We even found stories about Mary Read and Anne Bonny, two of the pirates my daughter had researched. We learned about knot tying, why certain sails were raised at certain times, how pirates were tortured, and even how the famous pirate, Blackbeard, met his end.
There is a really interesting room that holds the only known pirate treasure chest in the world from several hundred years ago plus gold and silver coins and other pirate treasure that has been recovered from shipwrecks.
My kids are 9 and 12 and they really enjoyed it. Even as an adult, I absolutely loved it. I wish I could have stayed longer and read through more of the exhibits but the kids wanted to see different parts of the museum so we kept on going on our pirate adventure.
Visiting the St. Augustine Pirate & Treasure Museum
The pirate museum is open daily 10 am – 7 pm except for Christmas Day. We spent a little over an hour there and bought our tickets online. We went during Christmas Break so I just wanted to be sure that we could get in. I don’t think we would have had any problems buying tickets at the museum though. It wasn’t terribly crowded.
Treasure chest at the St Augustine Pirate and Treasure Museum
Tickets to the museum are $17.99/ages 13-59 and $9.99/ages 5-12. Military and ages 60+ tickets are $15.99. You can buy them at the museum or online.
If you’re visiting the nation’s oldest city, I definitely recommend checking out the St. Augustine Pirate & Treasure Museum.
You can park across the street at Castillo de San Marcos where it is metered parking or in a nearby parking garage.
In Asheville, NC you’ll find the Asheville Retrocade, a fantastic place to spend a few hours during rainy, cold, or hot weather. You can play all day for one price and it’s great for the whole family.
Need someplace in Asheville, NC to spend a few hours indoors during a rainy, cold, or hot day? We’ve got just the place: Asheville Retrocade, an old-school arcade that features two floors of games and is family-friendly.
Asheville Retrocade
Playing at Asheville Retrocade
I am always looking for fun, indoor things to do when the weather isn’t cooperating and found just the spot at Asheville Retrocade. For this trip, I was visiting with a friend and her young daughter staying in the area and thanks to Google, found this indoor mecca of Pac-Man and race car driving. Now you don’t even need Google to find cool places like this since you have this story!
So at Asheville Retrocade, you pay a flat fee of $10/person (kids under 5 are free) and that gives you access to two floors of pinball, Pac-Man, dance-off games, race car games, air hockey, skeeball, and tons more games. No quarters are needed here.
Pinball at Asheville Retrocade
They claim to have more than 5,000 games at the arcade. They do have a lot but I’m not sure it equals 5,000. That said, I totally lost track of time there and ended up spending about two-and-a-half hours at the arcade, which was such a fun way to spend time with my own kids and my friend.
Play All Day with Retro Games
When you get to Asheville Retrocade, you pay $10/person and get a wristband, which allows you to come and go all day. The arcade is truly like taking a step back in time. I didn’t play a lot of video games as a kid but the ones I did play, like Pac-Man, are ingrained in my childhood and I love them. It was a lot of fun to play those nostalgic games I did as a kid.
We went during Christmas Break and there was actually a line to get in. I was nervous that we wouldn’t be able to play many games because there were too many people. But I shouldn’t have been worried. We only ever had to wait maybe five minutes for a game and there were always spots open at other games that we could play.
The kids we had with us were ages 3, 9, and 12 and all of us had a blast. The place is truly family-friendly and welcoming. There were a lot of families when we went and it was so much fun to enjoy that time together and see other families doing the same.
Asheville Retrocade
Food and Drinks at Asheville Retrocade
The arcade has several options for drinks, including local craft beer, wine, and fountain drinks. They have free water available also.
They also have snack food available for purchase.
Things to Know When Visiting Asheville Retrocade
Here are a few tips when you visit:
There is free street parking, which is awesome.
After 9 pm, guests need to be ages 21+
If a game is occupied that you want, just be patient and wait or play something else. It will open up!
There are bathrooms and hand sanitizer available but still wash your hands during and after your visit.
Expect heavier crowds during school breaks, holidays, and rainy days.
You can book a private party at the arcade.
Heading to the Asheville Retrocade
The arcade is open daily Noon-2 am. After 9 pm, patrons need to be 21+. You can purchase your wristband when you get there.
Need more ideas for Asheville fun? Visit our Asheville Guide for ideas on how to enjoy the city with your family.
Are you interested in volunteering at the Ronald McDonald? Greenville, SC is home to the Ronald McDonald House of the Carolinas, and they are always looking for wonderful volunteers! Learn what types of volunteer opportunities are available to help support this important organization which helps families with children receiving care at local hospitals.
There are many ways that you can help support the Ronald McDonald House through acts of kindness and volunteering. If you’re looking for a place your whole family can volunteer, consider helping out at our local Ronald McDonald House. RMHC has several opportunities for volunteers of any age!
What is Ronald McDonald House Charities?
RMHC provides a low-cost place for families to stay who have a critically ill or injured child in a nearby hospital. The houses offer private bedrooms, playrooms and home-cooked meals–all of which allow families to stay close to their hospitalized loved ones. There are over 350 Ronald McDonald Houses, in 63 countries and they serve more than 12,000 families each night.
Locally, Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Carolinas is across the street from Greenville Memorial Hospital on Grove Road. It features 12 private rooms, laundry services, a double kitchen, a playroom and an outdoor playground.
Volunteer Opportunities at the Ronald McDonald House: Greenville, SC
Volunteers are vital to the Ronald McDonald House in Greenville. Volunteers can help with simple chores, baking cookies, cooking meals, helping clean, and spending time with the families and siblings of children who are ill. These children are often saddled with an unbearable amount of stress. Spending time in a colorful playroom away from the hospital is the perfect place for them to set aside their grief and act their age.
RMHCC is always looking for volunteers, and there are several volunteer programs families can do together. There are lots ofsimple ways you and your children can become a small part of this amazing organization.
Volunteer by Baking Cookies
One of the most popular volunteering programs at RMHCC is Cookies from the Heart. This program bakes fresh cookies for the families in residence. Fresh-baked cookies help make staying at RMHCC feel more like home. Plus, it’s a fast treat they can grab on their way to the hospital.
Groups of up to 6 people can sign up for weekday morning hours to volunteer cooking and baking. You must bring all ingredients, while RMHCC will provide cookie sheets, bowls, spatulas, cooling racks, and individual baggies for packaging up the cookies. They have three ovens available for use. You can make any type of cookies, brownies, or blondies. They only ask that no nuts be used.
Children 8 and older can participate, and the rule is 2 children to one parent.
The Guest Chef Program at the Ronald McDonald House
RMHCC provides the families staying there with home-cooked meals every evening through the Guest Chef Program. Volunteers for this program are asked to make enough food for at least 20 people.
Food can be catered or prepared onsite using the kitchens and equipment at the House, which includes a gas grill, three ovens, and two stoves. Time slots for this program are every day from 4 to 6 p.m., with the mealtime around 6 p.m. Groups of 6 or less can help prepare the meals onsite.
Prepare Meals in the Weekend Meal Prep Program
Similar to the Guest Chef Program, families who’d like to help out on the weekends can sign up to make prepared meals for residents of the Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Carolinas.
Volunteers can prepare casseroles, soups, pasta bakes, and other meals that hold up well for the residents to cook and eat later in the week.
Families can volunteer from 11 am to 12:30 pm, both Saturday and Sunday. Meals should be cooked at RMHCC or be catered. Children 10 and older can help their parents during meal prep.
Help Keep the Ronald McDonald House Clean as a House Monitor
House Monitor volunteers can help out both during the week and on weekends to maintain the home and keep the Ronald McDonald House clean. Volunteers help families with laundry, removing trash and recycling from the home, sanitizing the common areas, and more.
They can also help with office tasks, yard work, housekeeping, and various household tasks. Volunteers must be 16 or older to participate as a House Monitor. Shifts are 2 hours long and are available from 9 am to 8 pm Monday through Friday. Saturday and Sunday volunteer hours are from 10 am to 8 pm.
Other Ways Families Can Help
The Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Carolinas wish list is an excellent way to help when you cannot be there in person to volunteer. The list includes cleaning supplies, paper goods, coffee cups, sugar packets, canned soups, and protein bars. They’d also love holiday toys for children and pre-teens.
Make decorations or write Christmas cards for the families in residence.
Collect pop tabs from cans to donate to the RMHCC. The center can then turn in the aluminum for money at a recycling center to fund the program.
RMHC donation boxes are located at McDonald’s restaurants and Walgreens. A donation box full of spare change can pay for a family to stay at the House for one night.
If you’ve never hunted for the Toads on Trade in Greer, SC, add it to your list of things to do. Inspired by Greenville’s Mice on Main, the downtown Greer scavenger hunt features 16 tiny toad statues tucked away on historic buildings. And if you’ve never ventured to find all 16 toads? We’ve got everything you need to know (including a short history lesson) before you go toad hunting.
What are the Toads on Trade in Greer?
Ever been walking around downtown Greer and noticed a tiny green frog statue hanging out on the side of a building? Then you’ve likely seen one of the 16 Toads on Trade.
In 2009, Jason Clark, owner of the former downtown restaurant The Strip Club 104, brought the Toads on Trade scavenger hunt to Trade Street. The original search included 10 toads based on a leggy-fella named Tater.
“Tater Toad wanted to see the world. He hopped a train and traveled far and wide. He saw the big city lights of Atlanta. He soared through the rolling hills of the Carolinas. He made his way to the coast to dip his toes in the salty waters of Myrtle Beach. He even got so far as Vermont once but decided the North was not the place for his Southern soul. But it was in Savannah that he met his one true love, Tallulah. He spotted her bright green eyes and shiny skin from across a crowded pond. She was lying alone on a lily pad, gently paddling with a lazy leg. He swam up to her and it was love at first sight. They married in a romantic courtyard in Charleston and decided to head back east to meet the rest of Tater’s family.”
The Original Toads on Trade story (2009)
When the city revitalized Trade Street, the beloved toads disappeared. But one young lady, Kelsi Kennemore, decided to bring them back bigger and better than before.
At only 10 years old, she researched the history of downtown Greer with the help of the Greer Tidbits (Jonathan Lovegrove and his family) and The Greer Heritage Museum. She then used all the info to create new hints for the new Toad locations.
And today? There are 16 toads to be found on and near Trade Street.
Jason Clark Helping Kelsi Kennemore Install a new Toad on The Strip Club 104
The Toads on Trade hints tell you where to start your hunt. As you wander down Trade Street, be sure to look high and low. Some are easy to find and others are a bit more difficult.
Tater Toad and his wife returned for more fun. But the sweetest of the bunch is Tallulah Toad, and finding her will earn you a delicious reward. The rest of the hints to locate Toads can be found online.
Kelsi and Greer Mayor Rick Danner
Tips for Toads on Trade
If you are planning on going on the toad hunt in Greer, my biggest advice would be to print your scavenger hunt clues.
If you get stuck, you can even find a list of Toad locations. The list includes what historical relevance the clue mentioned. So even if you have to cheat a little, there’s still a lot to gain in a look back at the growth of downtown Greer. See how many you can do without peaking, though. The Toads (off of) Trade might be a bit trickier.
Along with the scavenger hunt, you’ll get a mini-history lesson about the former occupants of the historic buildings that line the streets of downtown Greer.
You may spot a toad long before your kids do. Feel free to gamify your hunt even more and play “hot or cold” with them, telling them when they’re getting “warmer” (closer) to the toad.
Bring a camera or have your phone ready to take pictures of your children with the toads they find! You can turn the photos into a little journal or diary of your adventures later.
Be sure to wear comfortable shoes since you’ll be walking!
I have written in the past about designing different rooms in my home so that it is a welcoming and warm place that makes me happy to be there. I used to think this was impossible unless you were wealthy, but I discovered that there are many ways to decorate and design your home within a strict budget and still just as beautiful. Here are some ways you can do that.
Decorating your home can be an exciting process, but it’s not as easy as it may first seem. In order to create a beautiful and aesthetically pleasing space, you must understand a lot about interior design.
From color schemes to furniture placement – it can be overwhelming if you don’t know where to begin. Thankfully it’s not impossible if you plan ahead.
Interested in learning more? Then keep on reading! Below we are going to discuss eight rules that you should follow when choosing interior décor for your home.
Start with a plan.
Before you start shopping for any décor items, take the time to create a plan for each space. Consider the mood you want to create and do some research to find a style that suits your personality.
Be sure to factor in any key focal points, as well as the layout and placement of furniture. By preparing ahead of time, you’ll be able to stay focused when it’s time to hit the shops.
Choose your color palette.
The colors of your home are crucial in setting the tone, so make sure that you choose a palette that complements your furniture, flooring, and architectural features. If you aren’t remodeling or painting, head online for some inspiration.
It’s always safe to choose neutral colors, such as these beautiful decorative white vases. They will match perfectly with anything – even if you decorate seasonally throughout the year!
Set a budget.
One of the most important things to consider when choosing interior décor is your budget. It’s easy to get caught up when purchasing new items, especially if you are furnishing an empty house.
Determine how much you are willing to spend on each room before you start shopping. This will help you avoid overspending and you’ll be able to make the most out of the money you allocated yourself.
Consider lighting.
Lighting is another critical aspect of interior décor that often gets overlooked. The right lighting can enhance the ambiance of the room and highlight all of your favorite décor items.
It’s best to select a variety of sources, including overhead fixtures, table lamps, and accent lights. You’ll also have to consider the color of these lights such as warm-white or cool-white.
Don’t overcrowd the space.
Clutter can be a significant source of stress in any environment, not to mention it makes cleaning harder. It’s wise to keep things organized by reducing mess and avoiding overcrowding your space.
Keep the furniture minimal, choose statement pieces, and downsize where necessary. The fewer items you have, the easier it will be to tidy up.
Don’t get distracted by too many accessories and art pieces either. Remember, less is often more when it comes to design.
Understand each room’s purpose.
Another thing to take into consideration is the purpose of each room. Since each area has a different function, it’s a good idea to choose items that fit its intended use.
For example, the bedroom should promote sleep and contain calming colors and soft lighting. The kitchen, on the other hand, is a productive space and is often considered the hub of the home. These areas will need to be functional and allow for additional traffic.
Combine different textures.
While selecting your furniture and accessories, don’t be afraid to mix and match textures to add more depth and interest. From velvet and cotton to leather and fur – there are so many different options to choose from.
Just make sure that they work well together if you’re picking different patterns. This will create a cohesive look that is both visually appealing and comfortable.
Add personality.
Finally, be sure to finish every space off by adding personal touches to your interior design. Each piece should reflect your own personality and sense of style.
Start by adding family photos, artwork, and other decorative items of importance. This will make the entire space feel more unique and inviting, rather than like a hotel or show home.
You could also have a go at creating some of your own pieces. These DIY décor ideas are a great place to begin.
Final Words
And that’s it! By following the rules above, you can reduce the stress associated with interior design and create a beautiful home. Of course, while you should take these into consideration, you should never be afraid to experiment! One of the best parts of having your own home is that you can decorate it exactly how you want.
Looking for something fun to do inside in downtown Greenville? KAG Contributor Andrea Beam is sharing a family favorite with us today, the Greenville Gemstone Mine, located right along Downtown Greenville’s Main Street across from the Hyatt. This shop offers unique gifts and a place where kids can do a little gem mining for themselves.
We have an amazing time every time we hang out in downtown Greenville. However, if you ask my son to name his favorite activity, he would tell you it is “finding treasure” at Greenville Gemstone Mine on Main Street.
While I can’t say I share his love for “treasure,” I do appreciate the tables full of unique jewelry and cases of sparkly stones. The prices are just as appealing as the merchandise. It is definitely worth a visit (or two), even without little ones in tow!
I’ve never been in the store when it wasn’t packed. If there is one thing I am not completely crazy about, it’s the size of the place. It’s rather small. Having said that, we always manage to make our way through the crowd to the back (where the fun begins) with ease.
Now to our mining adventure! The first thing you’ll do is choose your bucket of rocks. They have many sizes, but the $9 kiddie bucket suits my budget just fine. If you happen to have extra cash burning a hole through your wallet, you can pay as much as $55 for a family bucket. Once you’ve made your choice, the (extra friendly) associates will give you a ziplock bag, a Gemstone identification chart and turn you loose! My son likes to take his time in the magical waters and smiles as each stone turns into something shiny and new. This is the part where you, as the parent, can stand back and check your Facebook page – I mean, take pictures.
When you’re done, you’ll leave with a slightly damp bag of treasure and one happy customer!
Want to visit Greenville Gemstone Mine?
Greenville Gemstone Mine is open 7 days a week: Monday-Wednesday 10 am – 6 pm Thursday 10 am – 7 pm Friday-Saturday 10 am – 8 pm Sunday 11 am – 6 pm
Go ahead and plan your visit. Show up around 10 and you’ll be out in time for an early lunch!
Just a side note: walk out the door, turn left and walk a short distance to the Subway on the same side of the street. If the weather is nice, we like to take our sandwiches across the street and eat at the neon green tables in the Hyatt courtyard.
A second Greenville location is open in Haywood Mall near Macy’s. Hours for the mall location are Monday-Thursday 10 am – 8 pm Friday-Saturday 10 am – 9 pm Sunday 12 pm – 7 pm
Have you ever taken your kids to Greenville’s Gemstone Mine?
More fun in Downtown Greenville
Ice on Main: Live Out Your Winter Dreams On The Ice In Downtown Greenville, SC
Holiday Things to Do: Spend a Day in Downtown Greenville, SC
Get ready to treat your kiddos to something super yummy, Simple and Tasty: Mushroom Pulao Perfect for Your kiddos ! It’s an easy and tasty dish with mushrooms and rice. Kids will love the delicious flavors, and it’s quick for busy parents. Let’s make a happy meal for your little ones – this Pulao style! Packed with the goodness of earthy mushrooms and aromatic rice, this simple and tasty dish is bound to be a hit with the kids. The mild flavors and vibrant textures make it a perfect choice for young palates, while the ease of preparation ensures a stress-free mealtime for busy parents.
Embark on a culinary journey with the enticing aroma and exquisite taste of Pulao, a dish that effortlessly marries the earthy goodness of mushrooms with aromatic spices and fragrant basmati rice. This one-pot wonder is a celebration of simplicity and sophistication, perfect for both weeknight dinners and special occasions. The mushrooms, with their unique umami essence, take center stage, complemented by a medley of spices that dance on the taste buds. Cumin, coriander, and garam masala weave their magic, creating a symphony of flavors that elevate this humble dish to gourmet heights. Each grain of basmati rice is infused with the essence of mushrooms and spices, creating a harmonious blend that satisfies the palate. Whether you are a vegetarian looking for a hearty main course or a mushroom enthusiast eager to explore new culinary horizons, Pulao is a delightful choice that promises to tantalize your taste buds and leave you craving for more.
Health Benefits of Mushroom
Nutrient Powerhouse: Despite being low in calories, mushrooms are rich in essential nutrients, including B-vitamins, which help with energy production and brain function.
Vitamin D Boost: Mushrooms are one of the few foods that naturally contain vitamin D. This vitamin is crucial for kids’ bone health, helping their bodies absorb calcium and phosphorus.
Immune Support: The selenium in mushrooms plays a role in supporting the immune system. This is particularly important for kids as they are often exposed to various germs.
Healthy Growth: The protein content in mushrooms contributes to the growth and development of muscles and tissues in growing children.
Rich in Antioxidants: Mushrooms are packed with antioxidants that help protect kids’ cells from damage caused by free radicals, promoting overall health.
Digestive Health: Mushrooms are a good source of dietary fiber, which aids in digestion and helps maintain a healthy digestive system.
Mushroom Pulao Recipe
Ingredients
1 cup basmati rice, soaked for 30 minutes and drained
1 cup sliced mushrooms, cleaned
1 onion, finely chopped
1 tomato, chopped
1 teaspoon ginger-garlic paste
1 green chili, finely chopped (optional for kids)
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 teaspoon garam masala
1/2 teaspoon turmeric powder
1/2 teaspoon red chili powder (adjust to taste)
1 tablespoon oil or ghee
2 cups water
Salt to taste
Coriander leaves for garnish (optional)
Instructions:
Heat oil or ghee in a pan. Add cumin seeds and let them splutter.
Add chopped onions and sauté until they turn golden brown.
Add ginger-garlic paste and sauté for a minute until the raw aroma fades.
Add sliced mushrooms and sauté for 3-4 minutes until they shrink and release moisture.
Now, add chopped tomatoes and green chili (if using). Cook until the tomatoes soften.
Add garam masala, turmeric powder, red chili powder, and salt. Mix well and cook for 2 minutes.
Add soaked and drained basmati rice. Stir gently to coat the rice with the spices.
Pour in 2 cups of water and bring the mixture to a boil.
Reduce the heat, cover the pan with a lid, and let it simmer for about 15-18 minutes or until the rice is cooked and water is absorbed.
Once done, turn off the heat and let it sit covered for 5 minutes.
Fluff the Mushroom Pulao gently with a fork.
Garnish with fresh coriander leaves (if using) and serve this delightful Mushroom Pulao to your little ones!
Incorporating mushrooms into your children’s diet can be a simple and delicious way to boost their health. These nutrient-packed fungi provide essential vitamins and minerals, support immune function, and contribute to overall growth and well-being. Whether added to soups, stir-fries, or as a part of wholesome meals, mushrooms offer a versatile and kid-friendly option. So, let’s make the most of these tasty little treasures and give our children a flavorful and nutritious start to a healthy lifestyle!
Frequently Asked Questions
Can mushrooms be included in a vegetarian diet for protein?
Absolutely! While not as high in protein as meat, mushrooms contain a decent amount of protein and can be a valuable addition to a vegetarian or plant-based diet.
Is mushroom good for health?
Yes, mushrooms are indeed good for health! They are a rich source of various nutrients that contribute to overall well-being. The statement you provided highlights some of the health benefits of mushrooms
Is mushroom a fat or protein?
Mushrooms are neither predominantly a source of fat nor protein. They are a low-calorie food that provides a mix of macronutrients, including a small amount of protein and virtually no fat.
Can kids eat all types of mushrooms?
While many mushrooms are safe for kids, it’s important to introduce them gradually and in cooked form. Always ensure mushrooms are thoroughly cooked to make them easier to digest.
How do I properly clean mushrooms?
To clean mushrooms, use a damp cloth or paper towel to wipe away dirt. Avoid soaking them in water, as mushrooms absorb water easily and can become soggy.
Simple and Tasty : Mushroom Pulao Perfect for Your kiddos
Get ready to treat your kiddos to something super yummy, Simple and Tasty: Mushroom Pulao Perfect for Your kiddos !
