Category: Family & Parenting

How do we stay unruffled when our children are anything but? It’s never easy, but in this episode Janet shares the personal mindset that has helped her most, and gets SO much easier with practice. She also shares a success story from a parent who is walking through her own fears to be the parent her daughter needs.

Transcript of “Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Other Outbursts: My #1 Secret for Staying Calm”

Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled.

This podcast is called Unruffled, and you’ve heard me share many different perspectives on how to be an unruffled parent, how to stay calm in all different situations. But I haven’t really zeroed in and talked just about my own personal favorite mindset. The secret I’ve used for myself to be able to manage the incredibly uncomfortable, challenging task of facing my children’s intense emotions.

Before I ended up sharing this little secret, back in 2010 I think it was, on my website, and it’s also in my No Bad Kids book, I was worried it was too silly. It felt embarrassing, and that maybe I’d be laughed at. But I was wrong. I think! I mean, maybe people are still laughing behind my back about this, there’s a good chance of that. But I’ve also heard how this advice has encouraged people. I guess there’s a lesson in that, that if something helps you, no matter how personal and silly it might seem, it might yet help someone else.

And that’s also why I love sharing your success stories, and I have one of those to share today. Sure, it’s validating for my efforts when my perspective helps somebody, but I don’t share success stories to toot my horn. I share them to encourage you that if a certain way of addressing or seeing behavior, a certain way of responding to it, helped that family, helped that parent, maybe I could brave that too and it would help me. It gives us more permission, it gives us more inspiration. Oh, people are really doing some of these things that seem scary and hard and it’s working for them.

I’m a fan of Dr. Susan David’s work in her book Emotional Agility. And this is one of my favorite quotes from her: “Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is fear walking. Walk directly into your fears, with your values as your guide, toward what matters to you.” And that relates to the little secret I’m going to share about.

Alright, so cough it up already! My silly secret is imagery. And again, if you’ve read or listened to my book, you’ve heard me speak of this. It’s my superhero suit. I imagine myself putting on a superhero suit, with a cape, the whole business. And it has a shield that covers my chest and it allows for all the intensity, the frustration, the anger, rage, or dysregulation that my child has to kind of bounce off of me. It deflects it, so all of that emotion doesn’t get into my heart. I’m safe. I can be in hero mode.

Slipping into this suit also reminds me, and this is from my book, that this is a V.I.P.M., a Very Important Parenting Moment. Releasing these feelings is so good for my child. This explosion will clear the air and lift my child’s spirits. Staying present and calm, sticking with whatever limits I’ve set and being a safe channel for these emotions is the very best thing I could ever do.

Here are some of the superhuman parenting powers my suit provides. You could see these kind of as affirmations. They have been for me.

• I understand that difficult behavior is a request for help — the best my child can do in that particular moment.

• I remember to acknowledge my child’s feelings and point of view. The importance of this can’t be overemphasized.

• I have the confidence to set and hold limits early, before I get annoyed or resentful. And I do so calmly, directly, honestly, non-punitively.

• I know that my words are often not enough. I’ll likely need to follow through by intervening to help my child stop the behavior.

• I’m not afraid of what others think when I need to pick up and carry my crying, screaming child out of a problematic situation, because my child comes first.

• I have the courage to allow feelings to run their course without trying to calm or rush or fix, shush, or talk my child out of them. I might say, “You have some very strong feelings about that,” rather than yelling, “Enough!”

• I move on without resentment once my child’s storm has passed. Rather than feeling angry, guilty, or dejected for the rest of the day, I hold my head high and congratulate myself for being an awesome, heroic parent.

And just to touch on that point about “I’m not afraid of what others think when I need to pick up and carry my crying, screaming child out of a problematic situation”—it did take a couple of times of this happening before I could really proceed with confidence. With those blinders on that are so helpful to us sometimes as parents when we’ve got a lot of input from disagreeing sources or the public or we’re embarrassed, all of that getting in our way. These blinders can help. And we can get those when we practice this, it takes practice. But after a few times or even the first time to a great extent, I did feel that. I started to feel like instead of, Oh gosh, I’m so ashamed I have to do this and my child and what’s the matter with them? Because I knew it wasn’t that my child was being a bad person there. I knew, and I would soon realize, what had caused this. Often it was tiredness, hunger, but mostly tiredness actually, in most of my cases. And kids just can’t show us that so easily, when they’re very young especially.

I began to feel like, I’m actually a model right here. I’m a model for all these people watching, whoever they are, of being a brave parent. Of, as Susan David says, fear walking. I’m walking through it. And it was like I would open up this channel for myself to be in it and to own my benevolent power at that point. And people may have snickered or thought terrible things about me and my children, I don’t know. But I know that it felt right, and that’s all I needed and that’s all my child needed, was to feel the positiveness of this. I mean, I wasn’t smiling and laughing and enjoying it, but I was okay and I was centered and I was doing the right thing. And that always proved true.

So when parents talk to me about what everyone else is thinking on the playground or wherever they are, the relatives, I encourage them to believe in themselves as the hero in those moments. Because they really are. And the more we believe it, the more others will tend to see that kind of glow around us, Wow. That’s not being permissive, it’s not letting our child unravel and continue the behavior with people or hurt someone else or make a scene. Instead, we’re rescuing them from that.

One of the toughest aspects of the job of superhero is that our kids are usually showing us that they don’t want us to be doing what we’re doing. And it’s easy to take this as that they’re mad at us and they’re even madder that we’re intervening. It’s like we’re trying to save someone who really doesn’t want to be saved and that makes it so much harder, right? To have conviction. Many months ago I did an episode around that. I called it When Our Kids Reject Us (A Step-by-Step Response). And I offered the steps and how they applied to the issues that parents shared with me in three different letters. So here are those steps again, but I’m just going to be paraphrasing them.

1. Be prepared, do the homework. Working on our perspective, that’s the homework. How are we perceiving our child’s behavior? Because that’s going to direct our actions and decide our feelings. If we see a hurting child, it brings up totally different feelings in us than when we see what really is a mask on the outside, that seems really mean and ugly and hurtful. And then another part of being prepared and doing the homework is that if this is repeated behavior, we know that something’s up. We know maybe not exactly what’s happening, but that our child is expressing something that needs to be expressed, that they need to express. And they’re not quite getting what they need around that, not quite getting the response that they’re looking for, unconsciously. So that’s all part of the first point, being prepared, doing the homework.
2. In the moment, block the physical behavior as best and as confidently as you can. And confidently means we’re not overdoing it, we’re just blocking as needed. We’re kind of trying to make it look easy if we can. And that comes from being ready for it, because we’ve done the homework. And blocking early. I mean sometimes it’s going to happen anyway, but we’re not waiting until after something happens and then it happens again. We’re ready that next time or ideally, we’re ready before the first time, because we see it coming.
3. If there’s a chance to have eye contact during these explosions, try to be open, soft-eyed, as empathetic as possible. Breathe. Maybe nodding your head ever so slightly. I know this is hard, but it comes from seeing the hurt behind the mean behavior and connecting with that.
4. If there’s a break in their shouting or their screaming, just reflect back what your child is saying. We’re just staying in the moment, acknowledging it right there as it comes. “It feels to you like I’m the meanest person ever.” “You didn’t want me to be the one to pick you up, you wanted daddy.” Or, “You hate me so much right now,” if that’s what they’re saying. “Those are angry words.”
5. Show more than tell. Not talking a lot about, “I can’t let you do this behavior,” especially if it’s repeated behavior. That part goes without saying. We just want to show, without tell, that we’re going to stop them, we’re going to block them, that we can’t let them do the behavior. And for the most part, children already know that this is unwanted, wrong behavior.
6. Let it go. After it’s done, don’t rehash, unless it’s to make some kind of helpful, non-judgmental plan together about how we could do this differently. And the non-judgmental part of that is key. So it’s not, “Well, what are you going to do next time?” It’s really, “This keeps happening. Is there anything I can do? What can we do to make this easier?” That kind of openness makes our child feel safe. And sometimes even just that interaction, that we’re open, we’re not judging them, and we want to help. Sometimes that’s enough that we don’t actually have to have a plan, but just the fact that we’re open to that can be enough for them to feel better and not do that behavior, whatever it is.

Here’s one of the particular notes that I responded to, which I’ve edited. This is the parent that just this week gave me an update. She says:

Dear Janet,

I feel my daughter is a well-adjusted, wonderfully expressive kid who’s securely attached to her parents. However, five weeks ago, my mother, whom my daughter adores, was in the hospital with emergency surgery. Although my mom had cancer, this surgery came out of left field and for three weeks I was at the hospital every day. I still made sure to spend at least three hours with my daughter daily in a present, attuned way. Still, she knew something was wrong with grandma. She kept saying, “Mommy, hospital, care, grandma.” And I told her where I was going. Plus, she felt her schedule change when I wasn’t there as much.

Then my husband took her away to see her other grandparents for three nights. She’s never been away before and her sleep completely unraveled. She could only fall asleep by falling asleep right on daddy. She’d also never been away from mommy that long.

Then the very next day they returned, my mother died. That was two weeks ago. This came out of left field for my daughter. I never even got to the part where I planned to slowly tell her grandma was really ill. So it’s a shock for all.

Since then, our daughter’s refused to let me put her down to sleep at night. She frequently pushes me away, says, “Go away, Mommy.” This has blossomed into not even letting me pick her up when she’s finished napping or sleeping, demanding daddy all the time and shrieking and tantruming whenever daddy isn’t there. Whereas we used to cuddle every afternoon after her nap, now she sobs hysterically and asks me to leave her alone. I do. I do my very, very best to be nonchalant, but in a loving way, letting her know I’m here for her. Eventually she gets up and wants to play, but seems only to feel truly okay when daddy returns.

She’s never had tantrums before, she’s never preferred daddy before or pushed me away or said, “Go away!” I’ve put her down almost every night of her life. It seems that in some way she blames me for losing her grandma or associates me with the bad feeling she has about it.

She talks about grandma a lot, is very upset about this weird death thing. I’ve been straightforward about explaining that grandma died and her body stopped working and I’m so sorry and we will miss her and be sad and mad, but also still feel her love in our hearts and all of that. We talk about it every day, but only when she brings it up. I follow her lead. I allow her to see me cry or be sad about grandma, but I do shield her from seeing me sob hysterically, things I think would be burdensome to a child. I have tried to really role model a healthy approach to grieving.

And although it’s very painful to be constantly pushed away from my daughter at the exact moment I lost my mother, I do my absolute best to be nonchalant in the sweet way you always role model. Like, Sure, go with daddy. I admit she has probably picked up on my hurt here or there, but I really try not to burden her with that or manipulate her in any way. I understand she’s going through something and I don’t blame her for any of this, obviously. But I really don’t know what to do to make it better for her or to be included in her sphere of affection and safety again.

I responded: First of all, I want to say I’m so sorry for this parent’s loss. As children are, her daughter seems she’s especially tuned in to how her mother is feeling. That can be almost stronger for a child than the feelings they have about the relationship because though they feel the loss, they don’t really yet understand the implications. They don’t have that frame of reference. And so the more that we can be plain and simple and truthful, the easier it is for kids to process it. This parent is showing wonderful empathy and instinct for how she’s caring for her daughter.

A couple of things stood out to me. First is that this parent concludes: “It seems in some way she blames me for losing her grandma or associates me with the bad feeling she has about it.” That part doesn’t ring true to me. To me it feels like this is more about that she senses there’s a lot going on inside her mother, but her mother isn’t quite expressing that to her in the moment. And children, they pick up on this, this whole devastation that’s going on inside this mother. And that can be what’s making them uncomfortable around that person. It’s that the mother’s sitting on a lot of feelings that she’s not sharing and that’s disconcerting.

When she is with her mother, she’s doing this really, really healthy thing that children do so beautifully, which is that they reflect back to us our insides. They’ll put the feelings they’re picking up from us on the outside. So when she’s saying, no, no, no! and has these tantrums and refuses to be with her mother, I would stand tall and face that if you can. I mean, this mother’s going through her own thing. And number one, she obviously needs to take care of herself. She’s being so gracious about her daughter and trying to protect her from these feelings. But maybe the simmering inside of such strong feelings in the mother is uncomfortable for the child.

The way to help her through that is to actually stand by her when she’s pushing you away. And doing those steps that I mentioned. Blocking the physical behavior. If there’s eye contact, being open, soft-eyed, empathetic. If there’s a break in the shouting or the tantrum, just reflect back what she’s saying, just what you know for sure. “You want me to go, you just want daddy, you’re not comfortable with me.” Letting it be okay for her to share that and not shying away from it. I was flattered that this parent said that I role model nonchalant. The way I see it, though, is not so much nonchalant, like I’m pretending I don’t care when I actually do, but as something that I can believe, which is that I’m unthreatened. And then we could say, Ouch, you don’t want to be with me. But you know what? I can hear that. You can tell me that. I’m still going to be there for you.

And then I said, now if it gets too much for this parent, yes of course, let daddy do it. But remember: every time we do that, we’re accommodating. We’re agreeing with our child that, Yeah, you need to be with daddy now and not me. And she’s still going to be expressing these feelings to you in this seemingly mean, awful, rejecting way. That’s going to happen for a little while until she processes it through.

I love how this parent said she’s trying to show her daughter a healthy grieving process, but wow, she’s putting a lot of responsibility on herself. Because a truly healthy grieving process is exactly your unique human grieving process. In other words, there isn’t a perfectly healthy grieving process, so we don’t need to try to make it smooth or right or hit all the right notes. Because each person has a different grieving process with each type of grief that they’re experiencing. And so the healthiest grieving process is just to allow that, to express it, to share it. And I said, hopefully this parent is sharing it with people besides her daughter.

But even with her daughter, the key here is just to say in the moment when it comes up, “I miss my mom so much right now, this makes me want my mommy.” Opening that up a little bit more, because I don’t believe this parent will let herself lose control and get hysterical and scare her daughter that way. And it’s safe for her to open up some space to show her pain so it’s not this mysterious, uncomfortable thing for her daughter. So we’re letting her in, in the moment, just when the feelings come up. “Ugh, I just got a pang of how much I miss my mom” while I’m doing this random thing. That’s how our grief often comes. Some random thing happens that triggers us. So it’s safe to share that. In fact, it’ll bring you much closer to each other, as being honest about feelings does. Always.

Just this week, this parent got back to me, many months later:

Hi, Janet-

I’ve wanted to write you back since you responded to my letter in your show so long ago. I think I kept waiting for a time I could report feeling like a healthy, happy human again. In fact, eight months after losing my mom, the grief is still very intense and I still feel I’m on an alien planet. Losing my mom was more life-changing to me than becoming one. Thankfully, it does not stop me from enjoying my daughter, it only adds a sadness that my mom is missing this incredible kid. Or maybe she isn’t, who knows?

All that said, I never got a chance to tell you that your advice to me, while terrifying, completely worked. You told me to stay the course when my daughter screamed in my arms demanding her father and to show her that I was not going anywhere. I was genuinely scared to try this out, but I did so, the very night I heard your podcast.

The first night she cried for 15 minutes straight, constantly tried to wiggle out of my arms. It was absolutely awful. And then she stopped and we went back to our old ritual. When she fell asleep, I felt like Marlon Brando at the end of On The Waterfront, completely brutalized but triumphant. The next night she cried for about five minutes and then just stopped and we were fine. The third night she started to cry for one second, seemed to remember all was good now, and gave me no pushback whatsoever, ever again. It was actually amazing to see something work so incredibly well so fast. So thank you so, so much, forever.

Lately, my daughter, who is now two years and seven months, is definitely sliding into frequent meltdown mode, being defiant at every turn, and saying no to everything, usually quite cheerfully. “No, I think I will not put on a new diapie!” and instantly going apoplectic when she doesn’t get her way. I feel like I’ve spent almost three years preparing for this moment by listening to your podcast. I set the boundary while remaining totally sympathetic to her feelings. There are some things I can’t physically force, such as making her blow her nose, so I let those go. And sometimes I do just let things go because I’m tired, like I’ll let her run around naked for too long and then she pees on the floor. But on the whole, I feel like your counsel has given me such a concrete goal to constantly practice.

In your message to me in the podcast, you made the distinction between being nonchalant versus unthreatened. This difference is really powerful. Deep down, I admit I am kind of threatened by the intensity of toddler emotion. My first thought is always, Well gosh, if it means this much to you, I relent. Or I fear I don’t truly have the authority. But it is downright palpable the way my daughter ultimately relaxes against a boundary. As an anxious type, it really helps to remind myself that this is a way of protecting her from the anxiety of always getting her way.

Thank you for everything.

And I wrote back to this mom:

I’m thrilled to hear that you are walking through the terror (It’s real, I know!) of facing your daughter’s intense emotions. Laud yourself for showing such courage. I hope you’ll savor these moments when you succeed and savor the experiences of your daughter, as you say, “ultimately relaxing against a boundary.” Replay those moments to bolster yourself whenever you need to be in hero mode for her and know, without question, you can do this.

I’m sorry to hear you’re still suffering in regard to your mom. I believe that somewhere, somehow she’s proudly witnessing the developments in her incredible granddaughter and in you.

And here’s what I wrote at the end of my chapter on being a superhero:

Occasionally (though it’s pretty rare) my superhero perspective even allows me to recognize the romance in these moments. I’m able to time travel at hyper-speed into the future, look back and realize that this was prime time together. It didn’t look pretty, but we were close. I’ll remember how hard it was to love my child when she was at her very worst and feel super proud that I did it anyway.

Thanks so much for listening. We can do this.

And by the way, you may have noticed that my audiobooks are not available at the moment and the paperbacks of both books, No Bad Kids and Elevating Child Care, are going to be re-released at the end of April. I believe you can get them in Kindle still and you can buy some used copies that Amazon is selling. But the reason for this is a positive one. For years, those have been self-published books and Random House is now taking over the publishing of them. And they’re also publishing my upcoming book, which you’re going to hear a lot more about as it gets closer! So, this is obviously thrilling for me and I’m sorry for the inconvenience of not being able to get the paperbacks right now, but the audiobooks should be back on any day now. I just wanted to give you that update, and thank you again for all your kind support.

With Easter fast approaching, the time to prep Easter baskets will soon be here. While it’s pretty easy to fill a basket full of goodies for younger kids, coming up with Easter basket ideas for teens can be a little more difficult. They’re not as assumed with gimmicky toys, and some have very strong opinions about their candy preference.

But if you still want to keep the magic alive even if the Easter Bunny isn’t as quite believable, we have some great ideas that are considered cool enough while still sticking to an Easter basket budget. From classic candies to self-care accessories to gifts for him, we took inspiration from retailer reviews and trusted publications to find the best Easter basket ideas for teens.

Note: We are a reader-supported site and receive compensation from purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Our Top Picks

1. Best Basket: Leziazany Easter Basket – $11.99 at Amazon
2. Best Portable Charger: Anker Nano Power Bank – $25.99 at Amazon
3. Best Chocolate Bunny Alternative: Lindt Chocolate Carrots – $4.347 at Amazon
4. Best for Teen Girls: Olive & June Quick Dry Nail Polish Set – $14.99 at Target
5. Best for Teen Boys: Lego Creator 3-in-1 White Rabbit – $15.99 at Amazon

The Best Easter Basket Ideas for Teens

1. Best Basket: Leziazany Easter Basket

While some Easter baskets might seem a little childish for your teen, this chic seersucker one is the perfect container for stashing their Easter morning goodies. And the cute bag can be used year after year without tearing, unlike a cheap option you might find.

2. Best Portable Charger: Anker Nano Power Bank

Teens could always use another portable charger to stay connected. The Anker Nano Power Bank is ideal for iPhone users thanks to its ultra-compact design and high charging capacity. It plugs right into the bottom of their phones without a cord, which makes it easier to use their devices still even when they’re on the go. There are two versions: one with a lighting connector for iPhone 14s and earlier and one with a USB-C cord for iPhone 15s and later.

Buy the Anker Nano Power Bank with Lighting Connector:

Buy the Anker Nano Power Bank with USB-C Connector:

3. Best Chocolate Bunny Alternative: Lindt Chocolate Carrots

Chocolate bunnies are fun — but a little inconvenient. From the clunky size to the sheer amount of chocolate, something more bite-size but just as seasonally appropriate would do the trick, like these Lindt Chocolate Carrots. They come in a pack of four that you can split between siblings or set aside an extra for yourself.

4. Best for Teen Girls: Olive & June Quick Dry Nail Polish Set

For the teen girl who’s always jumping on the latest trend, Olive & June’s nail polish is the perfect Easter basket accessory. With three spring-ready colors and a top coat, she can start her nail polish collection with some high-quality, versatile colors. Plus, the set is conveniently quick-drying, so she won’t have to wait too long to enjoy her new nails.

5. Best for Teen Boys: Lego Creator 3-in-1 White Rabbit

While this Lego set would be a fun activity for anyone, it’s especially great for a teenage guy’s Easter basket. It’s not too childish and not too challenging — this new Lego rabbit will be the perfect addition to his collection and a great Easter day activity. Best of all, it comes with three designs in one, so they could always take it apart and rebuild it as a seal or a parrot later on, making it a versatile Easter basket idea for teens.

6. Best DIY Craft: The Woobles Bunny Crochet Kit

Even if your teen has never crochet before, this beginner-friendly kit from The Woobles will make them a pro in no time. It comes with everything they need to make a festive Easter bunny, including step-by-step video tutorials. And once they’re hooked on crochet (pun intended), you’ll be shopping for The Woobles’ many other crochet kits for future gifts.

7. Best for Planners: Bliss Collections Weekly Planner

Although the school year will come to a close in a few months, your teen could probably use some organizational help with end-of-year testing. This convenient weekly planner notepad is not only cute, but it’s also functional. And it’s a lot easier to manage than a whole agenda notebook. Plus, they can easily repurpose the leftover pages for the next school year.

8. Best for Board Game Lovers: The Chameleon

If your teen doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, a board game is a great option. Scrap the deck of cards for this trendy mystery game called The Chameleon. Players must use hidden codes, specific words, and a bit of accusation to catch the chameleon before they blend in and escape. It’s easy to learn, and the whole family can play along!

9. Best Classic Candy: Peeps Marshmallows

You can’t go wrong with the best Easter candy in the game. Peeps! are a classic for a reason, coming in a variety of shapes, flavors, and colors — even bunnies. Bonus points if you get them in their favorite flavors.

10. Best for Self Care: Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask

Just because Easter baskets are traditionally full of sweets doesn’t mean you can’t add a little self-care in too. Upgrade her generic tube lip balm for this viral lip mask from Korean beauty brand Laneige. The silky balm will last her months, and it’s the perfect little luxury to add to their school bag.

11. Best for Squishmallow Collectors: Squishmallows 4″ Blind Easter Capsules

The Squishmallow craze has recruited people of all ages, from toddlers to adults. These seasonal mystery capsules — that are known to sell out — are filled with mini Easter-themed Squishmallows that add a fun surprise twist. And whatever they get, it’s sure to be a great addition to or start of their collection.

12. Best for Budding Artists: Secret Garden: An Inky Treasure Hunt and Coloring Book for Adults

Just because this is the coloring book that started the adult coloring trend years ago doesn’t mean it’s not a good fit for teens. With more than 15,600 Amazon reviews and a 4.7-star rating, the beautiful, intricate drawings are easily paired with a new set of colored pencils or markers in the Easter basket.

13. Best for Those With Long Hair: ACO-UINT Hair Scrunchies, 20-Pack

Hair scrunchies are always a necessity, especially for teen girls with long hair. Treat her to this 20-pack of chiffon hair ties with a variety of colors and patterns. For an on-theme holiday look, the attached bows make the scrunchies look like they have little bunny ears. It also comes in a pack of 20, so you can always slip them between baskets if you have several teens.

14. Best Snack: Annie’s Organic Chocolate Bunny Graham Snacks

Add a little sustenance to the sweet treats in your teen’s basket with these chocolate bunny grahams from Annie’s. These tasty bite-size snacks are organic and made without artificial flavors. They also come in cheddar, chocolate chip, and honey flavors, and they add a festive, non-candy touch to your teen’s Easter haul.

15. Best Luxury: LULUSILK Mulberry Silk Sleep Eye Mask

Since your teen is getting older, you can add a few little luxuries to their basket, like this silk eye mask. Available in a few different colors, the sleep mask is an affordable yet fancy gift that they can incorporate into their selfcare routine. It’s one of the best Easter basket ideas that they never would have expected!

16. Best for Those Without a Sweet Tooth: Poppi Sparkling Prebiotic Soda

Not all teens want a basket full of sweets, and this trendy, delicious prebiotic soda is the perfect healthy alternative. Beverages are somehow all the rage on social media, so they’ll appreciate something new to sip on. With familiar flavors like orange and fun new additions like cherry limeade, this soda sampler pack is so tasty that your teen won’t even know the drinks are low in sugar.

17. Best for the Fidgeter: Original Silly Putty

Before today’s fidget toys, there was Silly Putty. For a fun throwback, add a pack of Silly Putty to your teen’s basket for popping, snapping, bouncing, and more. If anything, it’ll give them a good chuckle.

18. Best Water Bottle: Owala FreeSip

Every teen could use a little help staying hydrated, and the viral Owala FreeSip is a great way to do it. It’s currently the popular water bottle of the moment and we named the best water bottles for school. It’s easy to throw in a backpack with its leak proof lid and makes it easy to take sips between classes thanks to its hidden straw. Plus, it has lots of bright color options, so you can match the water bottle to the spring season.

19. Best Perfume: Sol De Janeiro Hair & Body Fragrance Mist

One of the most trendy scents of the past year, Sol De Janeiro’s sweet, warm body mist will quickly become part of her daily rotation. The Cheirosa ’62 has notes of pistachio, salted caramel, and vanilla, but there are five other scents to choose from With over 25,600 Amazon ratings and an overall 4.6 stars, this long-lasting fragrance is sure to get lots of wear in the warmer months.

Why You Can Trust Us

As a full-time writer, I spend a lot of my time researching and writing about the best products and gifts, whether it’s Mother’s Day or Easter. From spending countless hours sifting through Amazon reviews to testing products myself, I’ve gotten to know what brands and products are worth your hard-earned money.

For this Easter basket guide, I developed a list of the best ideas for teens based on in-depth research. With recommendations from major retailers, trustworthy publications, and social media influencers, I selected a range of products, paying close attention to reviews and price tags.

Prices were accurate at time of publication.

By Louise Kinross

Take a look at our latest BLOOM. 

Here are some quotes to pull you into the content:
 

1. From the mother of a Holland Bloorview teen with autism and juvenile rheumatoid arthritis: “As a Black family, when you walk into an environment that is predominantly white, you go ‘Okay, which mask should I put on?’ I can’t be too loud, I can’t come off as too harsh. How will I behave?” (see Health Equity)
    
2. From the author of The Country of the Blind, who feels his vision loss has had a positive effect on his 11-year-old son: “I see in him a sophistication and a level of engagement and empathy with disability, and more broadly with the social aspect of it, that is really special for someone his age.” (see Book Shelf)
    
3. From a world-renowned scientist in palliative care who is trying to change medical culture: “It’s very easy to fall into a nihilistic outlook when patients and families feel hopeless. Clinicians can start to feel that there is no path forward. Intensive Caring says that part of containing hope is to understand what remains possible. There are opportunities to connect with people, to value them, to hear their story.” (See Clinical Care)

   Like this content? Sign up for our monthly BLOOM e-letter, follow @LouiseKinross on Twitter, or watch our A Family Like Mine video series.

What size is newborn clothing is unsettlingly perplexing, even though it shouldn’t be.

This is especially true if you don’t have a frame of reference.

Observing newborns develop and learn about the world is a delight.

And they do grow! Your child outgrows their clothes rapidly since they are growing bigger every day.

Is there a chance you could wear your beloved clothing one more time?

Size judgment can be challenging. What is the ideal fit for infant clothes?

The fact that there is no one-size-fits-all guideline for determining which garments from which brands will suit your kid.

This is because infant clothing does not come in a uniform size.

Giving precise guidelines for infant clothing sizing is impractical, especially when various companies have somewhat variable sizing and labeling policies.

Furthermore, it’s critical to remember that all children, regardless of age, have different sizes, thus the sizes we see are averages.

You must size up if your child falls into the 99th percentile.

This is a quick instruction on how to determine your baby’s clothing size and whether their items are becoming too small.

What Size Is Newborn Clothing: To Buy Baby Clothes

Prior to purchasing, try to buy baby things in person whenever you can.

This will give you the chance to touch and feel the clothing and determine a product’s size before making a purchase.

Shopping in person helps avoid impulsive buys since just because your baby fits into a 3-month romper in one brand, it doesn’t imply she will in another.

Generally speaking, it’s preferable to buy large.

You may always roll up sleeves or trousers on too-big things and let your baby grow into them over time.

Your kid will develop faster than you anticipate. Who knows?

After a trip through the laundry, you could discover that an item that was initially too big fits well.

Whether your baby’s clothing is brand-new or secondhand, it’s crucial to wash anything that comes into contact with their skin to get rid of any stains, dirt, or other items you might have overlooked.

What Size Is Newborn Clothing: Importance

Selecting the appropriate size for your baby’s clothing is essential for their comfort and well-being.

Unfitting clothing can irritate them, limit their range of motion, and even hinder their growth.

Furthermore, if you buy baby clothes that are too tiny, they will outgrow them fast, which will need frequent shopping excursions and extra costs.

However, buying excessively large clothing might put them in danger of falling or stumbling over large trousers or sleeves that hide their hands.

When choosing infant clothing, it’s critical to strike the ideal mix between comfort, usefulness, and appropriate fit.

What Size Is Newborn Clothing: Measurement Guide

The ideal position for your infant is on a level surface that has previously been designated with a height measurement.

To achieve an accurate height measurement, gently pull your baby’s legs out to straighten them and measure from the top of the head to the heel.

It’s preferable to do this with assistance from another person because your kid will probably be wiggling.

Once your child is tall enough to walk, you may measure their height by placing them against a wall and taking a measurement from the top of their head to the floor.

Understanding Baby Clothes Sizing

Infants can have a wide range of weights at birth and arrive in a variety of shapes and sizes.

Some infants could be little and fragile, while others might be bigger and stronger.

Parents must be aware of this variance and realise that their infant’s unique demands might not always be met by traditional sizing charts.

Weight Based Sizing

Weight-based sizing ensures a better fit and comfort for newborn clothing by considering the baby’s weight at birth, as loose or tight garments can cause discomfort and restrict movement.

• Speak with your pediatrician:

Your baby’s development and growth might be better understood by consulting with your pediatrician.

Talk to your doctor about your baby’s weight at prenatal checkups.

Follow-up appointments to get advice on suitable clothing sizes.

• Select Breathable and Soft Materials :

The skin of newborns is sensitive and easily irritated.

Opt for apparel composed of supple, airy materials like bamboo and cotton that are easy on the skin and encourage ventilation.

• Look for Weight-Based Sizing Charts :

In addition to normal size charts, several infant apparel businesses also include weight-based sizing charts.

Usually, these charts group sizes according to weight ranges, which makes it simpler for parents to choose the ideal fit for their child.

This is essential to keeping your baby comfortable in a range of temperatures.

Select garments that are simple to layer so you may adjust the number of layers to suit your baby’s body temperature.

Age-Based Sizing

Having an understanding of age-based size will help you make sure your child is fashionable and comfortable from the beginning.

We’ll go over the fundamentals of age-based size for newborns, giving you the information you need to confidently outfit your little one.

Newborn size apparel, as the name implies, is to fit babies from birth to about three months of age.

These little clothes appear to fit your baby’s developing physique and sensitive skin thanks to their soft materials and elastics.

For comfort and simplicity of dressing, look for features like expanding necklines and snap closures.

• 0 – 3 Months (3-6 Months)

It’s time to move your baby out of newborn sizes and into the 0-3 months category.

It usually suits babies up to six months old.

This size fits your baby snugly and comfortably but gives them a little more freedom to move and stretch.

Look for materials that are flexible and can accommodate your baby’s motions, as well as waistbands that to adjust.

• 3 – 6 Months (6-9 Months)

Your baby will probably be ready for the 3-6 months size range.

It fits babies up to nine months old, around six months.

When your baby gets more active, this size allows for more freedom and mobility.

For apparel that will survive your little explorer’s travels, look for reinforced seams and sturdy fabrics.

• 6 – 9 Months (9-12 Months)

When your child gets closer to becoming one year old, it’s time to move them up to the 6–9 months size range.

It is made to accommodate babies as young as twelve months.

This size fits snugly and comfortably while yet offering enough of space for growth.

Seek for adaptable pieces that may be worn for a variety of situations and seasons.

Height Based Sizing

Certain manufacturers base their sizes on height instead of age, even though age and weight are frequent sizing determinants.

It’s not always practical to measure your rapidly developing child every time you want to buy anything.

Even if it could be preferable to obtain your baby things depending on height.

However, knowing the height that corresponds with each “age” size will help you choose clothing that fits your kid properly.

When your baby visits the doctor or other healthcare provider in the early months, they will weigh them and measure their height;

But, if these visits are infrequent, it might be helpful to learn how to measure your baby yourself.

• 0-3 Months: If the infant is up to 24 inches tall, go with the sizes marked “Newborn” or “0-3 Months.”
• 3-6 Months: Clothes labelled “3-6 Months” usually suit babies who are 24 to 27 inches tall.
• 6-9 Months: Clothes marked “6-9 Months” are appropriate for your baby’s growing height, up to 27 to 29 inches.
• 9-12 Months: If your baby is 29 inches or larger, choose the sizes marked “9-12 Months.

Gender-Based Sizing

When choosing infant apparel, gender-based size is another factor to take into account.

Even if a lot of businesses have unisex alternatives, certain clothes are especially for boys or girls.

These variances in colors, patterns, and styles have been attributed to gender.

It’s crucial to remember that different measures don’t always equate to gender-based sizing.

On the other hand, certain designs can be more specifically designed to match the standard body type connected to a given gender.

• Recognising Size Based on Gender

Gender differences in size guidelines can be seen in baby apparel.

Many essentials, like onesies and sleepers, are generally gender-neutral.

Other shapes and designs may be modified to better suit the requirements of boys and girls.

• Baby Boys’ Clothes Sizes

Boys’ clothes frequently have wider cuts and marginally bigger proportions, particularly in the chest and shoulders.

Because of this, the usual proportions of infant boys may be accommodated, as can better movement and comfort.

• Sizes of Girls’ Newborn Clothes

Smaller sizes and thinner cuts are common in girls’ apparel, particularly in the waist and hip areas.

Additionally, fashions could have feminine touches like bows and ruffles, which are ornamental components.

• Things to Think About for Unisex Clothes

For babies, unisex clothing options are adaptable and sensible, particularly in the early months when comfort and convenience of dressing are primary considerations.

To provide simple diaper changes and unfettered mobility, choose materials that are soft and elastic.

What Size Is Newborn Clothing: Summary

At first, choosing the correct baby clothing size for your child may seem impossible, but with the appropriate resources and understanding, it gets much easier.

By being aware of the various aspects that go into sizing, getting precise measurements, and using size charts tailored to each brand.

And if you adhere to the preceding advice, you’ll be well-prepared to dress your baby in cozy, well-fitting clothing that promotes healthy growth.

Recall that content parents make happy babies!

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Published: March 4, 2024 | Last Updated on: March 4, 2024
| by Hema

“Are you on the lookout for a fun, delicious way to sneak more greens into your kids diet?

Here’s a nutritious and kid-friendly Healthy Palak Poori recipe for kids that’s perfect for introducing more greens into your child’s meals in a fun and tasty way.

This recipe ingeniously incorporates spinach, a powerhouse of vitamins and minerals, into the dough, making it an excellent way to sneak more vegetables into your child’s diet. Perfect for breakfast, lunchboxes, or a wholesome snack, these pooris promise a delightful crunch with every bite, making them an instant hit among the pickiest of eaters.

Health Benefits of Spinach

• Spinach is an incredibly nutritious vegetable, making it a fantastic choice for children’s meals due to its numerous health benefits. Spinach is packed with essential vitamins and minerals, including vitamins A, C, and K, as well as magnesium, iron, and manganese. Vitamin A supports eye health and vision, especially in low-light conditions. Vitamin C is crucial for a robust immune system, helping children fight off common illnesses more effectively. Vitamin K is important for bone health, aiding in the development of strong and healthy bones.

• Additionally, spinach is rich in antioxidants such as lutein, beta carotene, and zeaxanthin. These antioxidants combat oxidative stress and may lower the risk of chronic diseases. They also play a vital role in protecting eye health, potentially reducing the risk of macular degeneration and cataracts.

• The high fiber content in spinach promotes good digestive health, aiding in bowel regularity and preventing constipation, which is especially beneficial for kids. Moreover, spinach contains compounds that support brain health, which is crucial during the rapid brain development stages in childhood. These compounds, along with the vegetable’s anti-inflammatory properties, may contribute to improved brain function.

• Furthermore, the presence of vitamin K in spinach not only supports bone health by aiding in the production of osteocalcin, a protein that stabilizes calcium in the bones, but it also ensures that children’s bones grow strong and dense, alongside other minerals like calcium and magnesium. Lastly, the nutrients in spinach can help boost the immune system, making it a powerful ally in maintaining overall health and well-being for kids.

Recipe

Ingredients

• 2 cups wheat flour (plus extra for dusting)
• 1 cup spinach leaves (palak), washed and drained
• 2 tablespoons coriander leaves (optional, for added flavor)
• 1-2 green chillies (optional, adjust according to taste)
• 1 teaspoon cumin seeds
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (adjust to taste)
• Water (as needed for kneading)
• Oil for deep frying

Instructions

• In a blender, combine the spinach leaves, coriander leaves, green chillies (if using), and a little water to make a smooth paste
• In a large mixing bowl, add the wheat flour, salt, cumin seeds, and the prepared spinach paste. Mix well.
• Gradually add water as needed and knead to form a smooth, pliable dough. The dough should be firm but not too tight. Cover and let it rest for about 15-20 minutes.
• Divide the dough into small, lemon-sized balls.
• Dust each ball lightly with flour and roll them out into small circles, approximately 3-4 inches in thickness
• Heat oil in a deep frying pan over medium heat. To check if the oil is ready, drop a small piece of dough into the oil; if it rises to the surface immediately, the oil is hot enough.
• Slide one rolled-out poori into the hot oil gently. Press it lightly with a slotted spoon. The poori should puff up.
• Flip it over and fry the other side until golden brown.
• Remove the poori from the oil and place it on a paper towel to drain excess oil.
• Repeat the process with the remaining dough balls.

By making such nutrient-rich foods a part of their regular diet, you’re not only ensuring that they enjoy their meals but also laying down a solid foundation for healthy eating habits that can last a lifetime. Encouraging a love for vegetables like spinach from a young age can have a lasting impact on children’s health and well-being, making every spinach-infused bite a step towards a healthier future.

Frequently Asked Questions

Healthy Palak Poori Recipe for Kids

Here's a nutritious and kid-friendly Healthy Palak Poori recipe for kids that's perfect for introducing more greens into your child's meals.

Print Pin Rate

Course: Breakfast / Dinner / Tiffin Box, Breakfast Lunch Box recipe

Cuisine: Indian

Keyword: poori

Ingredients

• 2 cups wheat flour (plus extra for dusting)
• 1 cup spinach leaves (palak), washed and drained
• 2 tbsp coriander leaves (optional, for added flavor
• 1-2 green chillies
• 1 tsp cumin seeds
• 1/2 tsp salt
• Water (as needed for kneading)
• Oil for deep frying

Instructions

• In a blender, combine the spinach leaves, coriander leaves, green chillies (if using), and a little water to make a smooth paste.

• In a large mixing bowl, add the wheat flour, salt, cumin seeds, and the prepared spinach paste. Mix well.

• Gradually add water as needed and knead to form a smooth, pliable dough. The dough should be firm but not too tight. Cover and let it rest for about 15-20 minutes.

• Divide the dough into small, lemon-sized balls.

• Dust each ball lightly with flour and roll them out into small circles, approximately 3-4 inches in thickness

• Heat oil in a deep frying pan over medium heat. To check if the oil is ready, drop a small piece of dough into the oil; if it rises to the surface immediately, the oil is hot enough.

• Slide one rolled-out poori into the hot oil gently. Press it lightly with a slotted spoon. The poori should puff up.

• Flip it over and fry the other side until golden brown.

• Remove the poori from the oil and place it on a paper towel to drain excess oil.

• Repeat the process with the remaining dough balls.

I gave up asking my almost 15-year-old daughter what she wanted to do for her birthday. After years of her begging me to plan the next party as soon as the other one ended and me assuring her that we had plenty of time to talk about it, the roles have been reversed. Now, I am the one who waits for her cue while begrudgingly learning how to accept the end of that special time of my parenting journey. 

I still remember twitching when my daughter would ask me, “What are we doing for my birthday next year, Mom?” before I had the chance to clean the house from the piles of dirty paper plates, deflated balloons and shredded wrapping paper.

Me, yelling over the noise of the vacuum cleaner, “I don’t know, honey. Let’s talk about it tomorrow when I am not so tired.”

Now, when I ask my daughter what she wants to do for her birthday she shrugs

When I ask her what she wants to do for her birthday, I get “No idea; we’ll see,” followed by shrugs and eye-rolls.

Over the years, my daughter has had her share of fun birthday celebrations. There was the surprise 10th birthday dance party at the local community center, the 9th birthday diva party at an ice cream parlor, the 7th birthday roller skating party, and several slumber parties complete with costumes, slime, and glitter. I spent months looking for creative themes, designing invitations, and assembling the perfect goodie bags.

Ironically, things didn’t start out that way. As an immigrant, I didn’t know how to plan an American birthday for a little girl. Back home in Lebanon, birthdays are community events where neighbors come together to honor the celebrant. There are no themes, printed invitations, or decorations (except maybe for balloons).

In our culture birthdays were celebrated at home

Family and friends celebrate at home with music and food. I can still picture my mother in the kitchen cooking for days—making all my favorite foods from scratch, including the birthday cake and all the desserts. And, as per tradition, she would always take me shopping for a new dress and a pair of shoes.

On the day of the party, my friends and I would listen to music, dance, and run around while the grown-ups socialized in the kitchen until it was time to cut the cake. For presents, I received homemade tokens of love, such as baked goods, handmade hats or scarves, or a mixtape of my favorite songs.

Thus, the first time my daughter asked me to invite her little friends from preschool to her third birthday party, I didn’t know where to begin. My point of reference was limited to celebrity birthdays I read about in People magazine or ones I had seen in movies (Cue: Andy’s birthday party in Toy Story).

“How many friends can I invite?” my daughter asked.

“Let me check,” I replied.

“Where will we have it?”

“No idea. Let me check.”

“Can we order pizza?”

“Pizza? Are you kidding me?”

When I learned what Americans spend on a birthday parties I was overwhelmed

Not wanting to come across as ignorant, I probed my daughter for information, hoping for subtle hints about birthday expectations and norms. Instead, I got answers typical of a three-year-old, “I don’t know. Send invitations and dress up, I guess.”

After consulting Google about “How to Throw a Birthday Party for a Three-Year-Old Girl,” spending hours browsing Pinterest and learning that, on average, an American family spends about $400 on a little kid’s birthday party, I was more overwhelmed and confused than ever.

That’s when I made the mistake of inviting our family along with five of her little friends to the party, thinking I was being efficient and inclusive. On the day of the party, a big princess-themed bounce house stood in the backyard like a border between two cultures.

On one side, my daughter’s little friends ran around while their moms huddled together; on the other side, my husband grilled kebabs while our families socialized, and I dashed around in the kitchen cooking a five-pound box of Costco chicken nuggets and an eight-pound bag of tater tots—enough to feed an army. Now and then, I would peek outside to make sure everyone was still having fun. I was so busy cooking that I missed most of the party.

I learned a lot after my daughter’s disastrous third birthday party

A couple of hours later, with the food still in the oven and the kids getting antsy, one of the moms walked into the kitchen and kindly asked me how long until we cut the cake and opened the presents because they had somewhere else to go.  It may have been a legitimate reason or a hint to move things along, but I appreciated her candor.

After that disastrous third birthday, I made it my mission to learn the proper and least embarrassing way to celebrate my daughter and her younger brother. I mastered my way through Pinterest and began to look forward to each year’s celebration until my excitement was squashed when my then 12-year-old daughter told me she “didn’t want much for her birthday.”

“What do you mean ‘not much’”? I asked, thinking maybe she wanted to have her birthday at home instead or invite fewer friends. “No, not much, mom. You don’t do big birthdays at my age anymore.”

Dagger in the heart moment.

“So, what do you do”? I pressed.

“Don’t know. I’ll invite a couple of friends and maybe go to dinner. Or, we’ll chill at home, watch a movie and talk. No biggie.”

Letting go of throwing my daughter’s birthday parties is complicated

Let me get this straight. I spent the last 12 years agonizing over each birthday, planning, inviting, decorating, and now it’s all over. Letting go of birthdays is much more complicated than the work it takes to learn how to throw them or, in my case, throw ones that won’t scar your children for life. The non-birthday/birthdays remove parents from the equation, confining them to another room in the house, where they emerge only to serve food and cut the cake.

I miss the version of me who ran frantically around the kitchen cooking pounds of chicken nuggets, who spent hours thinking of a theme, looking for the perfect venue, and shopping for gifts and decorations.

Now, as the parent of a teenager, I am learning how to walk a tightrope between tempering my enthusiasm while still supporting my daughter’s need for independence. Regardless of what she decides to do for her birthday, I plan to take a page from my mom’s book of parenting, who, even when I was thousands of miles away, still baked a cake and invited her neighbors to celebrate my birthday.  

More Great Reading:

Parenting Teens Is a Delicate Dance of Holding On and Letting Go

Spring might be coming early this year, but the cold season remains in full swing. If your teen is away at school for the first time, being sick without anyone there to care for you can be scary and overwhelming. While you might not be able to be on campus, nothing says you’re thinking of them quite like a sick care package. We’ve put together the ultimate list that is sure to make even the gloomiest of sick days a little bit brighter for them. 

We’ve given you an array of options to choose from, whether you are inclined to opt for a premade care package or prefer to craft your own sick care package. From cozy socks and soothing teas to uplifting books and comforting snacks, there’s something for your recipient in our carefully curated selection. 

Reminder: If your student is truly sick beyond a cold or slight fever, encourage them to go to the health center or doctor as soon as possible!

Note: We are a reader-supported site and receive compensation from purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Our Top Picks

1. Best Premade Package: Mikimoony Relaxing Spa Gift Basket – $38.68 at Amazon
2. Best for Rest: Giftier Get Well Soon Gift Basket – $39.99 at Amazon
3. Best for the Restock: The Sick-Kit – $49.99 at Amazon
4. Best Gourmet Package: Specialty Gift Boxes Gourmet Get Well Gift Box – $64.99 at Amazon
5. Best Holistic Package: Unbox Me Tea Set – $38.99 at Amazon 

Best Premade Care Packages

1. Best Premade Care Package: Mikimoony Relaxing Spa Gift Basket

Offering the ultimate relaxation experience, this Relaxing Spa Gift Basket is the epitome of pampering and self-care. This premade care package is meticulously crafted to provide a spa-like experience while in the comforts of home. It’s packed with luxurious essentials like a bath bomb, fuzzy socks, and a silk sleep mask, which is exactly what a recovering student would appreciate. If they’re in need of some self-indulgence, this spa gift basket is sure to bring joy and rejuvenation.

2. Best for Rest: Giftier Get Well Soon Gift Basket

This Get Well Soon basket is sure to brighten even the most miserable sick day! This package comes in cool tones and is targeted toward men, but could be great for anyone who needs relaxation tools to promote recovery and rest. This thoughtful care package includes a variety of comforting items including a memory foam pillow, a massage roller, a plush blanket, socks — even a puzzle book to stay entertained. With its thoughtful selection of items, this gift basket is the perfect way to show your teen you care about their well-being and wish them a speedy recovery.

3. Best for the Restock: The Sick-Kit

When it comes to restocking essentials for someone under the weather, The Sick-Kit has you covered. This comprehensive sick care package includes everything needed to make someone feel better, from over-the-counter pain relievers to cough drops and tea. With its convenient assortment of items aimed at providing relief and comfort, The Sick Kit is the perfect gift to help someone get back on their feet quickly. As a reminder, please have your teen check with their healthcare professional before taking any medications. 

4. Best Gourmet Package: Specialty Gift Boxes Gourmet Get Well Gift Box

Being sick means they might not have had time to grab their favorite snacks before they became bedridden. This carefully curated package includes an array of products from popular brands like Burt’s Bees lip balm, Bob’s Red Mill oatmeal, Nutella snack packs, and a gourmet tea collection. This box is perfect for someone getting over the final hump of an illness. The foodie in your life is sure to approve! 

5. Best Holistic Package: Unbox Me Tea Set

For the person who loves all things zen, The Unbox Me tea set offers all the holistic goodness one could ask for. This carefully curated set includes fluffy socks, a coffee mug, a Cedarwood Chai tea set, a mini honey jar, and cinnamon sticks. It is the equivalent of a hug in a box. You can’t go wrong with giving this comforting and rejuvenating sick care package for the mind, body, and soul.

6. Best Spa Basket: Purelis Premium Deluxe Bath & Body Gift Set

Treat that under-the-weather student to the ultimate at-home spa experience with the Premium Deluxe Bath & Body Gift Set. This lavish collection features carefully selected items to provide a luxurious spa experience at home. Included in the set are stress stress-release bubble bath, body wash with shea butter, lavender Chamomile body mist, lavender massage oil, and spa slippers. This would be better for students living in apartments so they can take full advantage of the spa-like comforts.

The Best DIY Sick Care Package Ideas

7. Best For the Tea Lover: Hey Girl Tea Immunity Tea

There’s nothing like a warm cup of tea to soothe cold symptoms and scratchy throats. This tea is crafted with comforting herbs like echinacea, elderberry, and black licorice and contains no caffeine. If anything, it will warm them up on those sick days! The tea aficionado in your life is sure to approve. 

8. Best Fuzzy Socks: Unboxme Cloud Socks 

For cozy comfort and warmth when your student has the chills, Cloud Socks are the perfect choice. Made from ultra-soft high-quality knit fabrics with a plush, cloud-like texture, these socks are designed to keep feet feeling snug and pampered. They come in a variety of neutral colors and patterns. They’re a small, packable gift that can help them stay warm with a cold. 

9. Best Tissues: Puffs Ultra Soft, 4 Count

When it comes to tissues, it’s best to go with what you know. Puffs Ultra Soft combines the strength and softness you need when battling the sniffles. Designed to be gentle on sensitive skin, they are a trusted brand of choice for your sick care package. Four cubed boxes should be more than enough without overloading them. 

10. Best Soup: Campbell’s Sipping Soup

Campbell’s Sipping Soup offers a convenient and comforting option for warm and nourishing meals when someone is just not up to cooking. We chose this Chicken & Noodle flavor as a tried and true relief for those feeling under the weather. These ready-to-heat soups are perfect for satisfying hunger and soothing the soul. And the best part? They are designed to be mess-free so your sick teen can enjoy them from the comfort of their own bed. 

11. Epsom Salt: Amazon Basics Lavender Epsom Salt

For relaxation and muscle relief, Amazon Basics Lavender Epsom Salt is a must-have. Made with high-quality ingredients and infused with soothing lavender oil and magnesium, this Epsom salt helps relax the body and calm the mind. It’s especially good for body aches that someone might feel when battling a more intense illness like mono or the flu. Just make sure they have access to a bathtub before sending.

12. Best Book: Normal People By Sally Rooney

We know that picking a book for someone else can be personal and challenging. Everyone is particular with their genres and writing styles. That’s why we don’t take this recommendation lightly. Normal People is not only a highly readable page-turner, it’s also on Goodreads’ list of best books to read when you’re sick. The best part? There’s a critically acclaimed TV show on Hulu based on the book that they can binge in bed after reading! 

13. Best Neti Pot: Neilmed Sinus Rinse

For sinus relief and nasal hygiene, the Neilmed Sinus Rinse could be a good solution. This easy-to-use neti pot helps flush out mucus and allergens from the nasal passages, providing relief from congestion and irritation. It’s a safe and effective way to promote clear breathing and sinus comfort, and your loved one will thank you for this addition to their package. Have them consult their doctor on how to use one or follow these directions from Medical News Today before trying it for the first time.

15. Best Humidifier: Dreo 4L Smart Humidifier

Although it might take over the whole care package, it’s a good idea to send a humidifier. Research has shown that keeping a room at 40 to 60 percent humidity can help reduce the transmission of respiratory viruses and can make dry throats feel better. This one from Dreo is recommended by Wirecutter and is a good size for dorm rooms. It can run for up to 32 hours on low and even has an app so they can set schedules for when they’re back in their dorm room.

Why You Can Trust Us

Hi! I’m Hannah Fierick, a commerce and freelance writer specializing in a range of topics, including tech, education, and lifestyle. My work involves contributing to various publications and crafting insightful content tailored to diverse audiences, including helping people overcome illness.

In curating these sick care package recommendations, I conducted thorough research across trusted platforms and reviewed publications. I meticulously sifted through verified customer reviews and analyzed product specifications to ensure their quality and effectiveness. Drawing from my own experience dealing with a cold and fever while living on my own, I applied my expertise to select items that prioritize both value and utility, aiming to offer readers a comprehensive selection of products suitable for their needs. 

Prices were accurate at time of publication.

When teens and young adults picture social settings, most of them envision physical spaces with their peers, online communication, or possibly family gatherings. Most don’t think about the social skills required for success in college, particularly when it comes to life beyond their peers. Yes, it will be important to participate in clubs, student events, and social groups, but what about the classroom?

Social skills refer to the abilities and competencies that enable individuals to effectively interact and communicate with others in various social situations. These skills encompass a wide range of behaviors, including verbal and nonverbal communication, listening, empathy, cooperation, conflict resolution, assertiveness, and emotional regulation.

Strong social skills enable individuals to build and maintain positive relationships, navigate social dynamics, collaborate effectively, and adapt to different social contexts. As a community college professor and an executive function coach, there are 6 skills I see students needing.

6 social skills students need to succeed

1. Initiating dialogue

For those who are introverts or who have social anxiety, starting a conversation can seem daunting. Talking to a professor might seem impossible! If you’re tempted to keep your headphones on or your nose in your phone until the last possible minute, think how you could use that time instead to talk to a classmate. Or (gasp!) speak to your instructor or teaching assistant.

Building this rapport is important to staying on task in class, finding study partners, and endearing yourself to the person who will be marking your assignments and writing your recommendation letters.

2. Engaging in discourse

After I allowed my class to brainstorm a topic recently, I called on a student to report back. He told me that he doesn’t like being put on the spot. I asked him to reframe his mindset and accept that I was inviting him into the discussion, not calling him out.

If you’re one that likes to chat, sit back and allow others space to interact. If you’re quiet, challenge yourself to speak up at least one class per week. Online class? Discussion forums are a perfect opportunity to engage with your classmates.

3. Persuading through presentations

Not all presentations are alike, but they all require social skills. You have to know how to read your audience, how to keep them engaged, and how to impress your professor. This comes from knowing social cues, adapting to your audience, and building on relationships.

Practice your speaking skills, your written skills, and your creative skills by recording yourself or demonstrating to friends and family. One presentation in my history class that I will always remember involved a discussion of the history of bison in America. The student made bison stew, recounted the history of ranching in his family, made a compelling slide deck, and involved the audience with a game. Lots of social skills employed there!

4. Crafting correspondence

When I receive an email with no subject line or greeting followed by all lowercase letters asking for an extension, I don’t feel very obliged. Emails might be a dying art, but you still have to know how to use them properly.

Consider the tone and clarity of your correspondence to professors. Are you being professional and courteous? Are you clearly identifying what your request is? I ask students to demonstrate to me that they have attempted to find the answer on their own (e.g. in the syllabus, in the textbook, or through a classmate) before coming to me with a question. All of these factors will help you get the answers you’re looking for.

5. Listening actively

I will let you in on a secret: We professors can tell who’s really listening and who is tuned out. I’m not talking about the occasional wander of the mind; I’m referring to attentive engagement versus not fully present.

Active listening means you are attempting to learn from whoever is teaching (whether that’s an instructor or a classmate). It also involves paying attention to verbal and nonverbal cues, asking questions for clarification, and demonstrating understanding during interactions.

Seek to learn through listening rather than simply preparing your side of the conversation. You don’t have to agree, but you can learn!

6. Navigating services

This last point addresses utilizing social skills beyond the classroom. There is a big learning curve when it comes to finding your way through the various bureaucratic and academic services you need at college. And that’s why you need to be brave enough to ask for help. As a new college student, I remember someone telling me that I needed to go to the Bursar’s office. I had no idea what or where that was.

I asked a friendly student for directions and the patient bursary staff to explain the process. Library services, tutoring, counseling, and a myriad of other services are there to help you, but you have to know how to access them.

All of these social skills are part of a quality education. And like the rest of college, it’s an opportunity for growth.

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I Had a Miserable Freshman Year in College. How I Turned It Around

It’s late winter, so high school seniors everywhere are finished with college applications and are now just “waiting to hear.” That’s how their parents will phrase it when they bump into friends at the grocery store and are asked where Sally or Jack is going to college: “Well, she’s applied to blah blah blah and now we’re just waiting to hear…” Depending on the subtle inflection in the words, there’s hope in them, or exasperation, or desperation, or smugness, or false modesty.

When a parent of a high school senior says that one sentence, we are just waiting to hear, so much more is conveyed. There’s, “We are just waiting to hear, but she got Cs and Ds in high school and there were those two incidents with the police so it’s not looking good,” and there’s, “We are just waiting to hear, but what with the four-point-eleven GPA and the National Merit Scholarship and the charity work and her work with the Junior Peace Corps, we are confident she’ll get in somewhere.” And everything in between.

As decision time nears the parental bragging get more intense

When decision time is near, the brag factor is real, especially in areas where having parents with graduate degrees and bulging investment portfolios is as common as having a family pet.

The kids aren’t the ones doing the bragging, it’s the parents, and though it is born out of pride in their child’s hard work–and the parents’ surviving it–it catches you off guard, masquerading as chit-chat that sounds like something in a Meg Wolitzer novel. As in, “Cornell is her first choice, but if she doesn’t get in, she may have to settle for Vanderbilt…” 

The brag factor is not only real, it’s strong enough to propel people into decisions so financially unwise, they’re painful to hear about. Parents taking out a second mortgage to pay for Swarthmore, grandparents taking out loans to pay for Amherst, or even students taking on decades of debt to pay for Brown.

We want our teens to go to school with the “right people”

At parties or work events, when you are with people who on the short list to become a federal judge, or just sold their third book to Simon and Schuster, or are head of Coronary Care at Hopkins, and someone asks politely where your eighteen year old might go to college, it’s a tough pill to swallow to say a state school known for high acceptance rates, or community college.

Besides the “good school” pull, there’s also something we don’t talk about, because it’s overtly snobby and there’s no way to say it without sounding like a character in a British play but we just can’t help it: we parents want our kids surrounded by the right kind of people. They don’t have to be rich, and they don’t have to be perfect, but they have to be smart. And ambitious. Preferably kind, but mainly shiny and polished and going somewhere. 

Teens fall into the trap of feeling like they need to go to a ‘good’ school to succeed

The teens fall into the trap, too; they intuit early and clearly that going somewhere with wow factor in the name automatically imbibes them with a cool sapience they are suddenly ready for, and is a sure defense against anyone thinking they didn’t work their butt off in high school.

Four AP classes junior and senior year, two dual-enrollments, two honors with labs and final projects, and that stupid on-level class that might as well have been AP, the teacher was so tough. In their minds, they worked so dang hard, they sure as hell aren’t going to settle for some lame-o state school like a dumb jock. Then what was the point of all that?

About a year ago, I visited my alma mater with my daughter for “accepted students day,” walking her around the quad, showing her my old stomping grounds. Unexpectedly, a former professor of mine was sitting in his office, eating cheese and crackers for lunch, so many books and papers surrounding his bow-tied self that he looked like a professor in a movie.

He remembered me, congratulating me on life in general and my daughter on getting in. “Honest truth,” he asked her, “Where do you think you’ll go? Is this your first choice?” “I don’t know,” she said, earnest and blunt as ever. “I didn’t get in my first choice. There are pros and cons to everything, and I don’t know exactly what I want, like I think I’m supposed to. So I don’t know what to do.”

My professor smiled at her like a grandfather and chuckled. “You know what? It doesn’t matter,” he said. I felt the corners of my mouth turn up into a smile as he said what no one else had ever said to her, certainly not someone with a PhD and decades of teaching and scholarship.

My daughter got great advice from a college professor

“Almost any school will give you a good education if you work hard,” he went on. “It just doesn’t matter that much. Pick one because you like the size, or the area, or because you can afford it. Then go enjoy it. Study hard and don’t party too much, make some lasting friendships. Just go, and be happy. It doesn’t matter where.” She laughed, and I swear she seemed a little more care-free the rest of the day.

Like so many events in parenthood, the whole college decision process seems huge at the time, and absolutely critical to your child’s development, identity and future. The way learning to read “on time” did when they were in kindergarten. Years later you can’t help but laugh, because it just wasn’t that big of a deal. It all worked out.

To put it in their vernacular, it’s not that deep. As long as you love them and listen to them and help them make a wise decision with the tools they’ve been given, it just isn’t big of a deal.

It’s good post-college advice, too: we should all just go, and be happy. It doesn’t matter where.

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My three kids love to remind me that I was born in the 1900s. So, a few years ago when Top Gun: Maverick came out and we were all going to see it at the theater and I told them they should watch the first one they said, “We’re not going to watch something from the 1900s!” Of course I laughed. Silently though, because they clearly don’t need any more encouragement. 

It’s not uncommon for them to ask me to tell them a story about the way life was back then, and while they all admit those days look and seem magical when they hear my stories or see videos, there are a few things they can’t seem to wrap their head around no matter how well I try and explain it to them.

11 things that are hard for our teens to understand from the 90’s

1. The Internet wasn’t readily available

Trying to explain the sound that used to come from my huge desktop computer in the ‘90s is almost impossible. And my kids can’t understand why it would take so long to connect to the Internet either.

It’s so readily available now, unless you’re in a dead area (but our kids know all of the dead areas and avoid them like the plague) they can’t grasp the fact the Internet and phone go through a landline because, to them, the phone line and Internet are pretty much the same thing.

2. Blockbuster

This one makes me sad because there was something about going to Blockbuster, or any video store, on a Friday night in the ‘90s that was magical. Even if you came home empty handed, it was fun to go in, see who was there, try and decide what movie to get and whose card you were going to use. I don’t know, sitting on the sofa and looking through Netflix or Amazon Prime for a half hour trying to decide what to watch just isn’t the same. 

3. Cassette tapes/ VHS

My kids have seen a few of my cassette tapes or VHS tapes and they stare at them in wonder. My youngest has even taken a hammer to one so he can try and make sense of it. Kids these days will have no idea the patience it took to fast forward or rewind one of those babies to your favorite part in the movie, or your favorite song. 

4. Having no idea who was calling

Before there was caller ID, we just picked up the phone even though we had no idea who’d be on the other end. Would it be for our mother? The school? The boy we had a crush on that we’d hoped would call? A telemarketer?

Back then we had blind faith and the sound of the phone ringing was so exciting we’d fight with our siblings over who was going to answer it. Now, my kids refuse to make phone calls because “it’s so much easier to snap someone.”

5. Writing notes

Instead of snapping or texting or instagramming, we took an actual writing utensil to a piece of paper and spilled our deepest thoughts to our friends or boyfriend/girlfriend. The real trick was trying to pass it in class so the teacher wouldn’t catch you, or finding them in between classes to get your precious message to them.

6. TV Guide

How exciting was it to get this magazine and check out what was going to be on television. We always had our sitting on the coffee table for easy access and I remember my parents looking it over with my sisters, hoping that our favorite weekly program would be on that week. 

7. Commercials

Yes, I know everyone complained about them, but now that few of us have cable and do streaming instead, I kind of miss the commercials. It makes me feel more in touch with the world and now I never know what movies are playing at the theater. 

8. Having to write down, or ask for, directions

Remember having to stop and ask someone for directions? I don’t know about you, but I never remember directions this way. And reading a map? Forget about it. Not to mention I’m pretty sure reading a huge Atlas while driving down the road is just as dangerous as sending a text while driving.

I LOVE being able to punch something in my GPS. While I miss alot about the ‘90s, I don’t miss not having a voice to tell me when to turn while I was driving. It’s a wonder we made it anywhere. 

9. Hearing the audience laugh while watching a sitcom

While watching reruns of Friends the other night, my son kept looking at me every time the audience laughed. He told me how strange it was. It made me realize I’d never even noticed the laughter and I think it adds a lot to the shows of yesteryear. Of course he didn’t agree.

10. Getting pictures developed

Remember dropping your film off and waiting for days? Then when the one hour photo centers opened up, we didn’t care about shelling out the extra money so we could see the pictures we took before the dance right away. Funny thing is, we never took any selfies. 

11. Mixtapes

A mixed tape was the best gift to give, and  the best gift to get. Especially when someone gave you one with a custom cover they made with pictures or magazine cutouts. The hours it took to make a tape was worth it and my kids can’t understand why anyone would spend that long making something for someone. Especially if you had to constantly rewind it to listen to it again. 

I’m pretty sure I’ll always think there’s nothing like growing up in the ‘90s. If I had my way, we’d go back to those simpler days in a second, even though it would mean I’d get lost every time I left the house. 

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This is Why High School Was Easier (and Better) In The 90s

I have mentioned enough times in my recent posts that we went to Cyprus to get American passports because it has become impossible to get appointments at my local American embassy for far too long, I’d heard about a friend who did this, and I decided to do the same. Since then, I have been asked for more information on how I did this, and what the steps entail, so I decided to compile that into a blog post for you.

There are a few parts involved in getting the passports.

First, there is the step of making the appointments. They have many available appointments, but I didn’t see the option to make appointments much in advance. To make an appointment, you want to go to the American Embassy in Cyprus’s website for all the information needed including necessary documents, and then from there you are directed to this website to make appointments, where you’ll need to pick the country and location, then pick what type of appointment you need, then the date. 

When I checked in December, there were only appointments available in January, and when I asked then when there would be February appointments available they said they would be made available after the New Year. When 2 weeks after the New Year there were still no appointments, I emailed the embassy at acsnicosia@state.gov to ask them when appointments for February would be available, and they responded within a few hours that February appointments opened up. When I went to check about appointment availability now, they have appointments all the way from now through September available, but I don’t know what the future will hold.

When you make an appointment, print or save the appointment information they give you as a PDF because you’ll need it and the code for the appointment written on it for future use.

If you have any questions whatsoever about the process, I found them to be very responsive via email.

Because I was going with my children without their father, a non-American, I had to get this parental consent form filled out and then notarized. This cost me $35 per kid. I had a bit of trouble with this one because of the notary I used. There was a part of the form that the notary was supposed to fill out, but because he gave me the documents notarized with a ribbon connecting them I didn’t look through it to check it out, and I didn’t see that he left that whole section blank, and just included a cover letter. He also didn’t attach the copy of my ex’s ID like it says needs to be attached. He told me that I needed to get it apostilled at the embassy, but I double checked by emailing the embassy in Cyprus and they said a notary is fine, but apostille isn’t necesary. 

Because the notary had not filled out the form properly, my trip could have been for naught. They at first said that because of that, my ex would have to show up at the local embassy to get the paperwork signed there, and then when I reminded them of the fact that we flew to Cyprus because there are no local appointments within a reasonable amount of time and that they had confirmed via email that an apostille isn’t necessary, after some deliberation, they decided to allow it, as long as I sent in a copy of my ex’s ID via email. 

So I highly recommend that if you are traveling without your kids’ parent, check that the notarized forms are fully completed, that the ID is included, and it also helps to have an emailed paper trail with the embassy.

You come to the appointment with the paperwork for your passports already filled out and printed, along with a passport picture and payment. The payment for the passport is $135 for a child’s passport and $165 for an adult passport, and 16-year-olds, such as my son, get an adult passport. 

You will need to have an address in Cyprus to get your passports mailed to since the embassy will not mail them abroad. I used Cyprus Coast Office after my friend used him and recommended him to me. You pay for a 6 months post office box for 60 Euro, and then whatever mail arrives there gets forwarded to you at your expense. I found the person who runs it, Manfred, to be really helpful and responsive via email. I am not sure why the website is down right now, to be honest, and I just emailed them to find out why.

When you come to the appointment, you need to bring paid self addressed envelopes for each passport application, 2.52 Euros each. The post office closest to the embassy knew exactly what we needed when we went there, but since we didn’t bring them to the appointment, we just went and brought them back to the embassy after our appointment and dropped them off.

Security for the embassy is really strict. Your ID gets checked thoroughly before you enter the embassy, making sure that you are all on the list of who is allowed to enter that day. If you are bringing anyone that isn’t having an appointment, make sure to include their name on the part of the appointment making wizard where it asks who will be accompanying them. 

At our local embassy, you are not allowed to enter the embassy with any electronics, phones, computers, or even just wires. They get put aside for you in a cubby and you get them back when you leave. At the Nicosia embassy, you are allowed to enter with absolutely nothing other than your documents. Not food, not books, not toys. Absolutely nothing. This caused issues because very bored kids with nothing to do and nothing to eat do not make for a pleasant appointment, especially when you’re waiting inside for over 2 hours. Make sure to eat and feed your children before going inside (they wouldn’t let them leave to eat and come back inside). Asking for a pen and paper and allowing my children to color at least helped somewhat.

This whole process was definitely a big pain. But it worked so much more smoothly than our local embassy, even so. Just one week after we were at the embassy, my oldest’s passport already arrived there and the mail forwarding business got it just a few days later. It was very well worth it.

When we were at the embassy we weren’t the only people who came from abroad to get passports- it apparently is something they are quite familiar with- people from a few different countries were there.

Would I do this again? Well, hopefully not. Hopefully, the US embassy where I live can get their act together soon and I won’t have to go through this whole rigamarole when my kids need passports renewed. But if things still are an issue, I would do it again. And I’d recommend it to anyone else who needs passports and can fly to Cyprus cheaply since it beats waiting months and months for a potential passport appointment.

Have you ever traveled to another country to get a passport for your children? How complicated was it for you? Is this something you’d consider doing for your children?

Last year, shortly after moving my first-born into his freshman dorm and hugging him goodbye with tears in my eyes, I learned which type of college student he was going to be. The type that does not feel the need to call home.

I should have known. He has always been independent and mature, so much so that my friends called him hombrecito (little man) as a child. But one thing is to expect him to need me less than the average eighteen-year-old living on his own for the first time, and another is to confirm it.

Calls with my son were short and devoid of information

Much to my dismay, I realized quickly that the planned weekly phone calls I so eagerly waited for were a burden. Our conversations were rushed and one-sided. They felt like I was trying to open a safe without the code.

“How was your week?” “Good”

“Do you like your classes?” “Yes”

“How are you getting along with your roommates?” “We’re good”

I had imagined that missing home would make him want to talk, but as usual, I had to gently probe to get anything more than a couple of words out of him, only this time, there would be no more late-night talks on our couch where he would open-up and we would laugh. I could no longer look into his eyes to gauge his feelings, and the music he played (which was always a telltale sign of his mood) was gone.

I moved to a nightly “proof of life” text

The reality was that this brand-new young man did not need to talk to me as much as I needed to talk to him. This was too much for me to process. My heart was broken, but I realized that what he needed was space to adjust to this major change of life, so I rescinded my initial requirement of a Sunday call and pivoted into a strategy I found online while searching for answers from seasoned parents in similar situations, the nightly “proof- of-life” text.

I suggested it, and he reluctantly agreed to abide with this less engaged form of communication. Every night since then, just before I go to bed I text him “Goodnight,” to which he replies, “Goodnight!”

I have had to learn to be content with just one word

After eighteen years on the roller coaster of raising him, the last of which we spent flying around the country for auditions that culminated with an unexpected admission into his dream school, 1,121 miles away, I had to now learn to be content with one word, goodnight. No daily or weekly phone calls like my friends were getting from their first-year college students to chat about their experiences, just goodnight, and always as a reply to mine.

Close to seven months have passed since that first goodnight and I am happy to say that he is doing great, and I am adjusting to this new relationship between us. He calls occasionally to check in or for the necessary money talks, but these calls are never forced, always on his own time…and wonderful.

Only twice have I gone to bed without seeing our code word

He replies to the weather alerts and silly posts I send him with a couple of words or emojis. I keep a close eye out for his stories on social media and my comments get “hearted” by him fairly quickly. Life 360 has become my new best friend; she gives me comfort by showing me his dot on the map. Yes, he knows I check. It works because I don’t comment on his location or ask where he was at 3am. I bite my tongue and pray.

Only twice have I gone to sleep anxious because he did not reply to my goodnight text and both times I have woken up to find that he did text back past midnight. After all, he is experiencing a new level of freedom in the city that never sleeps and enjoying himself.

My son has come to rely on those ‘goodnights’ as much as I have

On Saturday night, my husband, daughter, and I were out late and for the first time ever I forgot to send him goodnight. It was way past my usual text time when I realized it. It made me sad to have forgotten, but much to my surprise, I did not spiral into worry. I suppose it was a sign that I am finally getting comfortable with the fact that he is far away and thriving on his own.

As I was getting ready for bed, I heard my phone chime with the familiar sound of a message from him. I looked at the time and my heart began to pound thinking about all the scary reasons why he could be texting me so late. I quickly grabbed my phone and read:

“Goodnight? Lol u haven’t sent the text yet.”

That was when I realized that this one word has taken on a new meaning for both of us. It is no longer just about my need to hear from him, it is a new connection between us that is as important to him as it is to me, and it is all the support he needs at this moment in his life.

With happy tears in my eyes, I texted back my apology for being late and my goodnight. He “hearted” my message as a reply. That night was beyond good; it was the best night I’ve had in a long time.

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My Son Left For College; I Didn’t Expect To Feel This Way

There is hope. It may not seem like there is, but there is.

My 25-year-old daughter just got engaged to her fabulous long-term girlfriend. She graduated college and has a great career in fashion. She is happy.

My 23-year-old daughter graduated college, is pursuing a graduate degree in psychology, and has a wonderful boyfriend. She is also happy.

My husband died 12 years ago and I had no idea how to move forward

Twelve years ago I never thought any of this could be possible. My husband died suddenly when our daughters were only 10 and 12 years old. I didn’t know what to do. I walked around in a fog and did not believe that the three of us would get through it. But we did.

Looking back on the last twelve years is like watching another person’s life. It was something that no one would imagine happening and, all these years later, I still cannot believe it did. That younger me had a lot to deal with. While some things were relatively manageable, most were extremely difficult. But looking at my daughters today, I know that it was worth it.

To all the widowed moms just beginning their journey, I see you. Please know that there is light at the end of that very dark tunnel.

I see the widowed moms and there is light at the end of this tunnel

I see you driving carpools with one child and dragging their sibling along because they are still too young to stay alone.

I see you getting a phone call at work that your child is having a rough day at school. I see you trying to figure out alone how to deal with your teen struggling in school.

I see you holding your kids at night when they are missing their dad.

I see you juggling finances because there is not as much money coming in.

I see you trying to get your kids out the door for school when they are not feeling up to it.

I see you touring colleges alone with your high school junior and senior.

I see you moving your son or daughter into their dorm room without a partner.

I see you trying to date but not really knowing if you are ready or not.

I see you dating but wondering if your children will accept it.

I see you attending parties and events on your own when all your friends are with a partner.

I see your children struggling with their grief and loss at different stages of their lives.

I see you holding back the tears when the father/daughter dance is happening at weddings or bar/bat mitzvahs.

I see the empty chair at your dinner table.

I see you wistfully watching a dad with his children in a restaurant or at a park or anywhere.

I see you at graduations knowing he should be there for the happy moments.

I see you and your kids struggling on Father’s Day.

I see you taking your kids to therapy and then realizing you also need it.

I see you feeling guilty about moving forward with your life.

I see you realizing you will have to walk your child down the aisle by yourself.

I see you never having a moment to yourself. Never.

I see the guilt when you feel only relief as the kids go off to college.

I see you becoming an empty nester and thinking “Now what?”

I see you looking for signs that your husband is still with you.

I will also see you years down the road as things finally become a little easier.

Believe me, this is not the life that anyone wants. But you will learn to find a different kind of happiness and more importantly, find a strength you never knew you had.

Until then, I see you.

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