Category: Family & Parenting

Parenting teenagers is, for some people, the hardest stage of pareanting. Me? The hardest part was when my kids were little and extremely clingy and always wanted me, and I never got a break. Parenting teenagers has been so much easier in many ways, though, of course, each teen is their own story, as I’m finding out, with 3 “teens” (my 12 year old is basically a teenager with the body and hormones of a teenager). But parenting a teen isn’t challenging for no reason- teenagers often have a really hard time and can lash out at their parents or behave badly to deal with their struggles. We, as parents, can help by trying to give them as many tools as they can to manage their challenges.

Being a teenager is not a walk in the park. As hormones surge and social pressure mounts, teenagers find themselves battling stress, anxiety, and even depression. As a teenager’s parent, you must find healthy ways to cope with their intense emotions. And not just for managing the turbulent teen years but for developing lifelong wellness habits.

Fortunately, many natural methods can help you or your teens cultivate calm and resilience. Let’s explore some of the best ways for your teen to de-stress and stay centered.

Five Easy, Natural Ways for Your Teen to Find Their Zen

Remember, when left alone, some teens may opt for drugs like cannabis to create “good vibes.” Still, as a parent, you should never encourage teen smoking, considering the health problems associated with underage use of marijuana. However, if your teen is of age (above 18 years), you can have an open discussion about the responsible use of marijuana or CBD products that have recently gained popularity. For additional safety for you and your teens, be aware of your state’s specific cannabis laws and regulations. Safety, health, and well-being should always be your top priority.

3. Indulge them in Creative Activities

Another coping method for teens who are battling with stress, anxiety, and depression is engaging in creative practice. When emotions overwhelm teenagers and they’re feeling intense, they can use healthy outlets such as self-expression through creative activities like poetry, journaling, visual arts, music, dance, or any other artistic modality that will allow them to process their emotions in a contained way.

You can set up an art-making space and stock it with supplies to nurture your teen’s expressive spark. The beauty is there is no need for a masterpiece. Remember that the true benefit comes from the process itself, not the product.

4. Bliss out in the Great Outdoors

According to statistics by Data Reportal, many teens spend an average of 9 hours per day glued to screens. But now you should know that getting quality nature time is more critical than ever, especially when it comes to fighting stress, anxiety, or depression.
Soaking up some sunshine while immersed in green spaces is therapeutic for the body, mind, and spirit.

As a parent, plan family hikes, picnics in the park, or just come to a quality backyard hangout where your teen can unplug and appreciate the world around them. Better yet, get them started on an outdoor project like gardening or looking after potted plants. Yes, there is immense fulfillment in caring for living things. After spending time in nature’s embrace, your teen will come up refreshed, recharged, and brimming with good vibes.

5. Boost Your Moods With Movements

Exercise does more than keep our physical bodies in shape; it’s also credibly beneficial for our mental and emotional well-being. That’s because movement triggers a cocktail of feel-good hormones like endorphin, serotonin, and dopamine, which are nature’s perfect hormones for bliss and serenity.

The key for teens is finding active pursuits that feel more like play than a dreaded workout. From dance classes to rock climbing, martial arts, or even just impromptu living room dance parties. Any movement that gets them out of their heads and into their bodies provides a massive mood boost. Simply shaking off that pent-up negative energy through joyful motion is a straight path to feeling free.

Bottom Line

In this whirlwind called the teenage years, having an arsenal of easy, natural ways for your teen to find zen is invaluable. From mindfulness and meditation to creative expression to mood boating movements and cultivating a vibe-friendly chill space at home. The best part? None of these techniques put questionable substance into your teens’ precious developing bodies and brains—just time-honored practices rooted in what humans have been doing for centuries to find balance and peace.

So, stop thinking too hard and take drastic steps now to explore and discover what elevating ritual works best for your teen.

Figure Out Why It’s Hard to Quit

Take a bit of time to sit and really think about your situation. Look at your own life carefully for signs of alcoholism and consider whether this might be something you need extra help to accomplish. If you have any signs of alcoholism, it may be a good idea to look into the many treatment options available. These can help you keep your resolution and ensure you have everything you need to be successful.

Learn More About the Impact of Alcohol

Knowing the full impact alcohol has on you, both right now and in the future, can help give you something to think about when you want to reach for a drink. Consider the health impacts, your mental health, and other impacts, like your job, family, and friends. Alcoholism seeps into every aspect of your life, even if you think you’re still in control and can start to have impacts that may be difficult or impossible to reverse in the future.

Create Small, Obtainable Goals

A whole year is a long period – that’s why so many New Year’s resolutions end up failing. Of course, that can be a goal you have in mind, but it’s much easier to achieve the goal if you can break it down into smaller ones. Set a goal for January. Set another for February. See if you can make it past your sister’s birthday or just celebrate your mom’s birthday without having a drink. Take it one day, week, or month at a time and it’ll be far easier to make it through the whole year.

Celebrate Your Milestones

Don’t forget to celebrate your milestones. Getting together with friends, buying something you’ve wanted for a while, and sharing your success are great ways to celebrate. Don’t forget to take the time to reflect on how far you’ve come, too. Think about just how long it’s been, how great you’ve done through the new year, and what you’ve learned to make it easier moving forward.

Learn From Setbacks that Occur

There will be times when you end up having a drink or finding it incredibly difficult to avoid having a drink, and that’s ok. One or two drinks aren’t going to ruin sobriety as long as it stops there and you don’t continue to drink. If you end up having a setback, stop and think about it. Have you learned anything? What can you do to keep it from happening again? Learning is part of the process and can help you be more successful going forward.

If you’ve set a New Year’s resolution to quit drinking this year, make sure you stick with it. Look into professional treatment options to get the help you need to be successful and reach your goal. Use the tips here to give yourself a better chance of keeping your resolution.

Embracing the Adventure:


Embarking on an empty leg journey is about more than just reaching your destination – it’s about embracing the adventure and enjoying the journey. Whether you’re flying solo, with friends, or loved ones, each empty leg flight offers a unique opportunity to create lasting memories. From watching the sunset from above the clouds to marveling at the twinkling city lights below, every moment spent onboard is an experience to be cherished.

The Rata Anecdote:


Imagine you’re on a romantic getaway with your partner, exploring exotic destinations and soaking up the sun. After a day of sightseeing, you return to your hotel to find a handwritten note waiting for you. Inside, you discover a carefully curated itinerary for the rest of your trip, complete with reservations at the finest restaurants and tickets to exclusive events. As you read through the details, you can’t help but feel grateful for the personalized touch that has made your vacation truly unforgettable.

Making the Most of Your Experience:


Once you’ve booked your empty leg flight, it’s time to start planning your itinerary. Whether you’re jetting off for a weekend getaway or an extended vacation, there are plenty of ways to make the most of your experience. From exploring new destinations to indulging in luxury accommodations, the world is yours to discover. So pack your bags, buckle up, and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime.

Empty leg private jets offer a unique opportunity to experience the luxury of private aviation without breaking the bank. From last-minute deals to personalized service, these flights are the perfect way to elevate your travel experience. So why wait? Start planning your next adventure today and soar to new heights with empty leg private jets.

It was really pretty and cool but there weren’t too many signs explaining what was what, so we just enjoyed the sights even if we didn’t know what exactly we were looking at.

There were actually more signs in braille, as well as raised diagrams of the ruins, which I thought was amazing, because it is blind people who need the descriptions more than anyone else, though I would have preferred some more signs explaining the area.

Apollo’s sanctuary that I’d also wanted to see was, in fact, not there, but a few kilometers away, so we needed to miss that.

By this time it was getting closer to sunset, and I wanted to be able to reach the salt lake while it was still daylight as well as driving to the UK. I put in the address of the UK army base, “Flamingo way” and we drove straight to the army base and saw the salt lake. But there was no actual border crossing or anything to demarcate that we were now in the UK. And the salt lake really was nothing much to see. I didn’t see that we could get too close to it, but we couldn’t see any birds or flamingos. This was why I didn’t prioritize that and instead prioritized Ancient Kourion, since I had seen on the Trip Advisor review of the place that you weren’t able to see the salt flats well from there and you might not be able to see any flamingos. We were at least able to mark off “Go to UK” on our checklist, and officially saw the salt lake. But that made me more convinced that I wanted to buck our late start trend this trip and actually leave Paphos early on our last day so we’d be able to see th more impressive and more-likely-to-contain-flamingo salt lake in Larnaca.

We drove on to Paphos after that and settled in to our new AirBnB which my children liked even better than our first one. 

The next day, Friday, after sleeping in (no surprise there) we drove to Innia village to the Turtle Museum.

 I’d call it more of a turtle education center, because there were many videos to teach about turtles, both in general and the ones that call Cyprus’s beaches home, conservation, turtle evolution, and more. 

There were also some interactive games and a little exhibition room with some taxidermied turtles, shells, and models.

 It was sweet, we enjoyed it, and it was free. I asked them how they made money and they said that it was paid for by the EU.

There was supposed to be a viewpoint in the area and a short scenic hike to an overlook we wanted to do, but we couldn’t find the starting point after many attempts, so we decided to head back to Paphos. On the way back, we saw a little sign on the road for a winery and museum, so decided to be spontaneous and check it out. 

There was a cute little restaurant, a dinky little museum mostly with pictures of the winery from previous generations as well as some interesting paper mache models, a nice gift shop, and an old limestone cave where they used to store wine to keep it cool while it aged. 

It wasn’t anything special to write home about, and not something I’d recommend to others to put on their list, but it was free, and I didn’t mind going 1 kilometer out of our way to see it.

Back in Paphos we decided to do a little walking tour of the city. We walked down to the harbor, taking in the sights along the way, seeing many antiquities as well as beautiful buildings- St Paul’s Pillar, an Ottoman bathhouse, a beautiful monastery, and we ended up by the Paphos castle. By the end the kids were cranky and tired from all the walking.

Saturday was a pretty chill day. We took a walk to the “old town” of Paphos, trying to find something that was, perhaps, the equivalent of Nicosia’s market, but it was very dead, being the middle of the winter, and definitely not prime tourist season. 

We met some tourists who were just based in Paphos and without a car, and they were looking for suggestions of what to do, so I shared some of what I found there was to do in the area. We met some natives and they told us that in their opinion, the best time of year in Cyprus is the winter; the summer is just too scorching hot. I asked one of the natives I met while walking down the street, who was sitting at a very sparsely populated outdoor cafes, if there’s a nightlife in Paphos, and she laughed and pointed to her table and said “This is it. Going out to eat with friends and having a class of wine. That’s it.”

The only notable things we saw on that walk was the scenic overlook at Diokitiria square, where we watched sunset, and the Hamam, an old Ottoman bathhouse, below it. There were some plaquards on the wall along side explaining the history of Cyprus and the various conquests, but it was very sun damaged, and not so easy to read. 

I honestly do think that Paphos was one of the more boring places we were in in Cyprus, though the area around it was beautiful. But you really needed a car for that.

After that was a day that I really was excited for- the Avakas Gorge! When I was in Crete in 2019, I took a hike in the beautiful Samaria Gorge, the longest gorge in Europe, and I was wondering how it would compare. The Avakas gorge was a little bit of a drive from Paphos, and then Waze directed us to a little church, after which there was a very rocky dirt road. Since my rental insurance on the car did not allow off roading, we parked there and walked on from there. A few other tourists did that as well. It was quite a bit of a walk to the start of the Avakas Gorge, but it was pretty and green, so we didn’t mind it.

Once we got to the entrance of the area, we found bathrooms (we were concerned there wouldn’t be any) and drinking water, and then we went inside. This park was also free. There were signs saying that you should be careful in the winter because water levels can rise rapidly, but I had checked the weather forecast and it wasn’t supposed to rain, which was good because flash floods can happen in gorges and be extremely dangerous.

Avakas Gorge has a hike that is along a stream between pretty walls of what I assume is eroded limestone. You can try to balance on the rocks whereever you’re supposed to cross the stream, but after too many times that I tried to cross but felt like I was about to fall off, and my shoes got somewhat wet anyhow, I decided to just walk in the water, sneakers and all. There was a part with a small waterfall that you couldn’t really pass without getting wet, so that’s when my girls and I decided to go all in and just not even attempt to stay dry.  I may or may not have slipped into the mud and gotten my clothes muddy, but that’s all part of the fun. My boys still tried their best to stay dry.

It was a really pretty hike. As we went along we saw some people who’d passed us on the way there start heading back in our direction, and we asked them if the path ended. They told us that after a bit the path goes up and no longer in the gorge, so they decided to walk back. More and more people were telling us this, but we finally saw some people who said they’d let us know what they found went they went ahead. 

When we stopped to eat lunch, we saw those people walking back who said that the path did continue back down into the gorge, but they saw the sky becoming darker and they were worried it would start to rain, and they didn’t want to be caught in the gorge in the rain. I decided that that probably was the smart decision, because I wanted to avoid becoming casualties of a flash flood. 

We walked back at a slightly brisker pace, but once we were out of the gorge itself we went back to a more leisurely walking pace. We saw lots of goats grazing in the park, as well as a 2000 year old olive tree stump. We grazed on foraged goodies, and eventually made our way back to the car. (It never ended up raining, after all that.)

We still had some more time, and decided to go check out Aphrodite’s Baths. You enter a (free) botanical garden with lots of local plants, go along a pretty path, and eventually find a grove where supposedly the Greek goddess Aphrodite met with her lover, Adonis.

 It was gorgeous, but you weren’t allowed to go into the water. We walked a little more and by then were out of the botanical gardens. (I think they continued more in the direction we didn’t take, but we didn’t go back to see.) 

From there, there were some hiking paths we could have taken (called Aphrodite’s Trail), but my kids were finished with hiking by then (I can’t even keep track how many kilometers we walked on our trip, but it’s definitely a lot) so we decided to see if we could maybe see the beach. 

Next to where we parked was a little restaurant that had a bathroom, and from the bathroom we could see a few steps that led a little closer to the cliff that overlooked the water, so we decided to see what was there, and the steps continued until they went all the way down the cliff to a beautiful rocky beach called Aphrodite’s Beach.

First one kid decided to make their way down the rocks into the water, then one by one each decided if they wanted to roll up their pants or skirt, take off their shirt, or whatever, and we all splashed around and got fully soaked, jeans and all, in the cold water. 

It was our last full day on the island, and our first time fully swimming in the Mediteranean on this trip. It was intense but fun and a great experience. We collected some absolutely beautiful rocks from the beach. There were so many different colored stones of all different types and colors, and we tried to collect our own unique and beautiful rocks.

There was only one problem with this- the AirBnB we were staying in had laundry facilities, but only a washing machine, and no drier… and wet jeans and sweaters take a while to air dry.

Once we were back at the apartment, we packed up our things and cleaned up, so we could leave as early as possible in the morning, since we wanted to be able to still see things in Larnaca before our flight that left at 2:00 pm.

When we got to Larnaca, we fortunately had a good 2 hours or more before we needed to head to the airport. We got to see the the flamingos in the distance in the very shallow lake… and then we decided to see if we could wade in to get closer to them. We figured… if the flamingos were able to stand there, the water couldn’t be so deep. And so we walked, carefully, churning up the muddy bottom, making sure not to fall, attempting to get closer to the flamingos. But despite walking out some ways, they still didn’t seem any closer. But it was still fun to do.

After we got out of the water, I needed to fill the tank with a little more gas (I was on empty and I still wanted to do at least one more thing before I returned the car, so I bought a few Euros worth of gas) so went with one kid while the other three decided to go running along the lake. They had a great time.

We still had some more time before we needed to return the car and head to the airport (it’s amazing what waking up early can do) so we decided to go check out some of the old sites in Larnaca. 

We just walked around the outside and enjoyed the site. 

We passed near the beautiful and ancient Great Mosque of Larnaca, Dzami Kebir/Kebir Buyuk when we were headed back to our car. 

On the way to the car my sons had wanted to stop and buy themselves hats as souvenirs, so I decided to get some for each of us.

Unfortunately we didn’t have time to see the last thing I had listed as an option in Larnaca- the Kamares Aqueduct, and headed to return our car, then to the airport, where check in was a breeze (they didn’t seem to care too much about EU rules about liquids). 

And thus concluded our wonderful Cyprus winter adventure.

I’m sorry it so long to write this post. I started it back in February, but getting all the pictures together for the post was stressful, so I decided to bite the bullet and write this post anyhow, so I can finally get this up. 

I have some more posts I wanted to share about Cyprus, and now that this is posted, those are coming right up.

Have you been to Cyprus? Did you see any of these places? Do any of these things that we did seem like things you’d want to put on your to do list? Those of you who have been to Paphos, what were your favorite things there other than the beach? Any thing I missed that would have made me enjoy Paphos more?

Room tidying. Homework. School. Tests.

Teen anxiety can display in the form of minor avoidance of a certain activity, but can also escalate into full-on terror at the thought of something. It takes on different disguises but with fear at its source. 

A series of unfelt emotions can accumulate into a big, uncomfortable knot that has the power to prevent us from moving forward. 

It can be incredibly challenging to witness signs of anxiety in our children. Too often we can feel helpless, but as parents, it is possible to play a powerful role in gently supporting them as they face and feel the big emotions that are holding them back.

It is important to find our own support as we help our children, as parenting itself is very emotional, under-supported work.

The Essential Groundwork: Building a Connection Habit 

 Well beyond the baby and toddler years, and even when they’re yelling at us to “Just. Go. Away!!!!”, our teens still deeply long to feel connected to us; it’s simply the way they are wired. Particularly when they are at their worst; consider these times a nudge to ramp up your ‘time in’ with them.

Older children can be slow to warm to our presence and over time can develop a shield of isolation around themselves when things haven’t been going so well. Through building a connection habit and providing safety and availability, we can reach them.

TIP: There are different ways to connect with a teen, and in general, it’s good to be more stealth and opportunistic than in the toddler years when it was possible to pick them up and swing them around or blow raspberries on their tummy. 

It can be great to start with a habit of being in the vicinity and lightly occupied around your teen. Your proximity and availability will be felt. This might well be the setting in which they first share about something they’re finding difficult.

It may take some serious mental resolve for you to step over piles of dirty clothes in your teen’s bedroom as you go in to simply keep them company for a short while. When you do, it’s really important to put on hold any demands, questions, or even general small talk. Simply bring your unconditional warm attention and interest to them and anything they share at these times on their terms. There may be no sharing, but you’ve been there with them unconditionally, and this is perfect. 

A great way to deepen the connection with an older child is to make a habit of actively stepping into their world, one-to-one. Ask to join them in watching their favourite series or YouTube channel. Sit next to them as they are gaming and ask to play with or against them, or simply show you’re impressed with their skills. Throw or kick a ball back and forth.

After some days or weeks of one-to-one time spent, or bedroom ‘sit-ins,’ don’t be surprised if your teenager comes to invite a daily dose of this type of connection with you. 

Ready to receive?

In addition to our connectedness, the teen brain scans for how ‘safe’ & emotionally available we are. Adolescents are wired to be highly sensitive to social cues such as body language and voice tone; direct eye contact can feel overwhelming for them. 

It’s important to be able to bring your most anchored self to your teen. Notice if you’re getting triggered in their company and find a place to explore this. If your own teen years were difficult, your child may be unintentionally pressing on points you had long tried to forget about, from when you were their age. Seek extra support if you need to. Read about Hand in Hand Parenting’s supertool for parents only: Listening Partnerships here, or consider joining a Parent Support Group.

Get Playful and Promote Laughter

Play and laughter often fall away in adolescence when life can become a little too serious, social status feels important to maintain, and studies can take over. Yet play and laughter are highly effective connectors and have the bonus of helping teens release lighter fears. What really makes yours roar with laughter? Or what used to?

TIP: Look for opportunities to take the less powerful role in your play with them. Pillow fights and play-wrestling never grow old.

Staylistening

 With the parent-child connection well secured, the groundwork is laid; the conditions are right for your teen’s nervous system to sense that it’s safe to start recovering from uncomfortable feelings fueling their anxiety.

You might be just about to leave a no-agenda sit-in when your teen brings up a delicate issue they want to share. Equally, they may bring up what’s troubling them during a car journey, with no face-to-face intensity. Or there may be an eruption of full-blown tears with trembling seemingly out of nowhere.  

It’s now that we get to do our most transformational work: We listen well.   

Our child has deemed us an emotional safe harbour, but the healing process isn’t always pretty. 

Although lighter fears are released through laughter; tears, trembling, raging, and sweating are also signs that some big feelings are passing through. As we anchor our teen, our job is to get as close as we can to them (safely), and to beam the non-verbal signals: “I’m not worried”; “I know you’ll get through this”. Offer eye contact and gentle touch, but often, physical calm proximity is enough. 

TIP: Listen well: validate, but don’t question and don’t fix.

As a mother of 3, for many years a part of my brain was always thinking and scanning for solutions or causes of the problems that sent my children into meltdowns. There was a lightbulb moment when I realised my brain power would be better spent simply focusing as calmly as possible on my child, and grounding myself in the process. The same applies to my now teenager. 

Anchor & Staylisten until the emotions have run their course. It can be useful to think of these as energy-in-motion – taking their natural route through: up and out. 

When you make the time to continue with a connection habit, further emotional releases can follow. Your teen’s nervous system receives the message ‘I can get through these big feelings… what else? Then wonders: how about facing something new?’ Their emotional resilience grows; with you as their safe harbour.

Here’s how Staylistening helped one teenage daughter.

Always consider reaching out to a mental health professional if you feel your teen’s mental health challenges are bigger than you alone can help them with.

Katharine ([email protected]) is a certified Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor based in Guildford, UK. Hand in Hand Parenting (www.handinhandparenting.org) is a US-based nonprofit organization that teaches a system of 5 trauma-informed, healing-centered Listening Tools that have the power to transform family lives. It offers support for parents, caregivers, early care and education professionals.

Room tidying. Homework. School. Tests.

Teen anxiety can display in the form of minor avoidance of a certain activity, but can also escalate into full-on terror at the thought of something. It takes on different disguises but with fear at its source. 

A series of unfelt emotions can accumulate into a big, uncomfortable knot that has the power to prevent us from moving forward. 

It can be incredibly challenging to witness signs of anxiety in our children. Too often we can feel helpless, but as parents, it is possible to play a powerful role in gently supporting them as they face and feel the big emotions that are holding them back.

It is important to find our own support as we help our children, as parenting itself is very emotional, under-supported work.

The Essential Groundwork: Building a Connection Habit 

 Well beyond the baby and toddler years, and even when they’re yelling at us to “Just. Go. Away!!!!”, our teens still deeply long to feel connected to us; it’s simply the way they are wired. Particularly when they are at their worst; consider these times a nudge to ramp up your ‘time in’ with them.

Older children can be slow to warm to our presence and over time can develop a shield of isolation around themselves when things haven’t been going so well. Through building a connection habit and providing safety and availability, we can reach them.

TIP: There are different ways to connect with a teen, and in general, it’s good to be more stealth and opportunistic than in the toddler years when it was possible to pick them up and swing them around or blow raspberries on their tummy. 

It can be great to start with a habit of being in the vicinity and lightly occupied around your teen. Your proximity and availability will be felt. This might well be the setting in which they first share about something they’re finding difficult.

It may take some serious mental resolve for you to step over piles of dirty clothes in your teen’s bedroom as you go in to simply keep them company for a short while. When you do, it’s really important to put on hold any demands, questions, or even general small talk. Simply bring your unconditional warm attention and interest to them and anything they share at these times on their terms. There may be no sharing, but you’ve been there with them unconditionally, and this is perfect. 

A great way to deepen the connection with an older child is to make a habit of actively stepping into their world, one-to-one. Ask to join them in watching their favourite series or YouTube channel. Sit next to them as they are gaming and ask to play with or against them, or simply show you’re impressed with their skills. Throw or kick a ball back and forth.

After some days or weeks of one-to-one time spent, or bedroom ‘sit-ins,’ don’t be surprised if your teenager comes to invite a daily dose of this type of connection with you. 

Ready to receive?

In addition to our connectedness, the teen brain scans for how ‘safe’ & emotionally available we are. Adolescents are wired to be highly sensitive to social cues such as body language and voice tone; direct eye contact can feel overwhelming for them. 

It’s important to be able to bring your most anchored self to your teen. Notice if you’re getting triggered in their company and find a place to explore this. If your own teen years were difficult, your child may be unintentionally pressing on points you had long tried to forget about, from when you were their age. Seek extra support if you need to. Read about Hand in Hand Parenting’s supertool for parents only: Listening Partnerships here, or consider joining a Parent Support Group.

Get Playful and Promote Laughter

Play and laughter often fall away in adolescence when life can become a little too serious, social status feels important to maintain, and studies can take over. Yet play and laughter are highly effective connectors and have the bonus of helping teens release lighter fears. What really makes yours roar with laughter? Or what used to?

TIP: Look for opportunities to take the less powerful role in your play with them. Pillow fights and play-wrestling never grow old.

Staylistening

 With the parent-child connection well secured, the groundwork is laid; the conditions are right for your teen’s nervous system to sense that it’s safe to start recovering from uncomfortable feelings fueling their anxiety.

You might be just about to leave a no-agenda sit-in when your teen brings up a delicate issue they want to share. Equally, they may bring up what’s troubling them during a car journey, with no face-to-face intensity. Or there may be an eruption of full-blown tears with trembling seemingly out of nowhere.  

It’s now that we get to do our most transformational work: We listen well.  Because emotional offloading in teens is often more verbal than a straightforward toddler tantrum, it can be tricky to just listen! We can be tempted to engage with a rational, logical response for how they might fix whatever it is they are bringing up. These well-meaning suggestions are nearly always angrily shot down because that’s not what they need right now. If problem solving support is still needed, doing it after they have had a chance to sort through all their feelings about it will make the problem-solving much more effective. 

Our child has deemed us an emotional safe harbour, but the healing process isn’t always pretty. 

Although lighter fears are released through laughter; tears, trembling, raging, and sweating are also signs that some big feelings are passing through. As we anchor our teen, our job is to get as close as we can to them (safely), and to beam the non-verbal signals: “I’m not worried”; “I know you’ll get through this”. Offer eye contact and gentle touch, but often, physical calm proximity is enough. 

TIP: Listen well: validate, but don’t question and don’t fix.

As a mother of 3, for many years a part of my brain was always thinking and scanning for solutions or causes of the problems that sent my children into meltdowns. There was a lightbulb moment when I realised my brain power would be better spent simply focusing as calmly as possible on my child, and grounding myself in the process. The same applies to my now teenager. 

Anchor & Staylisten until the emotions have run their course. It can be useful to think of these as energy-in-motion – taking their natural route through: up and out. 

When you make the time to continue with a connection habit, further emotional releases can follow. Your teen’s nervous system receives the message ‘I can get through these big feelings… what else? Then wonders: how about facing something new?’ Their emotional resilience grows; with you as their safe harbour.

Here’s how Staylistening helped one teenage daughter.

Always consider reaching out to a mental health professional if you feel your teen’s mental health challenges are bigger than you alone can help them with.

Katharine ([email protected]) is a certified Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor based in Guildford, UK. Hand in Hand Parenting (www.handinhandparenting.org) is a US-based nonprofit organization that teaches a system of 5 trauma-informed, healing-centered Listening Tools that have the power to transform family lives. It offers support for parents, caregivers, early care and education professionals.

However much divorce sucks, international divorce can be even more suckier. If you were only temporarily in one country, you may get stuck there until your kid is 18, because of international kidnapping laws. Court cases involving potential international kidnapping, also known as “moving back home are via Hague laws and these court cases require specialized lawyers and cost a lot of money, as I found out when this happened to a friend of mine. And even once custody and child support are settled, enforcing child support across international borders can be difficult if not impossible… Here is some more information about international divorce that you might not have considered.

Love knows no borders. Yet, when international marriages end, the divorce proceedings can be as vast as the distance between countries.

There is a maze of legal challenges, from determining jurisdiction to dividing assets across continents. Each step has rules, regulations, and potential pitfalls that can affect the outcome.

This guide offers clarity and direction through this daunting process. Start your journey towards the next phase of your life by reading this article and taking action today.

International Divorce Overview

International divorce is a process complicated by residence or nationality. It turns a potentially simple separation into a complex, cross-border legal affair. As a result, sites like 4LegalLeads connect attorneys to those who need legal help.

Each nation’s divorce laws vary significantly regarding the grounds for separation, asset distribution, and child custody. This reality makes it a strategic decision on where to file for divorce and underscores the importance of expert legal counsel.

Jurisdictional Challenges

Jurisdiction over an international divorce depends on habitual residence, nationality, and domicile.

Habitual residence identifies where a couple has lived significantly. It marks the stable base of the life they had together.

Nationality looks at one’s legal ties to a country, potentially guiding where legal proceedings may start. Meanwhile, domicile delves deeper, indicating one’s permanent home despite current residence. These elements shape which country’s courts can oversee the proceedings.

Selecting a jurisdiction can drastically shape the divorce’s trajectory. It impacts everything from asset division to child custody. Some locations may provide more favorable conditions, leading to “forum shopping.” Yet, this strategy comes with complexities, potentially stirring jurisdictional disputes that cause delays.

Forum shopping is a strategic move that requires sound legal advice. Some legal systems are better for financial settlements, custody terms, or easier divorce conditions. While forum shopping may seem attractive, it demands a thorough grasp of international law.

Legal Frameworks for International Divorce

The Hague Convention on the Recognition of Divorces and Legal Separations helps standardize divorce across borders. However, not all countries are signatories, leading to a patchwork of bilateral and multilateral treaties. These deals are vital in ensuring that divorces granted in one country receive acknowledgment in others.

There are significant challenges when couples come from nations without agreements. A lack of recognition complicates issues like remarriage, enforcing alimony, or custody arrangements.

Custody and Child Support Across Borders

Custody and child support issues extend far beyond legal technicalities. They are at the heart of family dynamics and children’s welfare. Differences between international borders mean parents face legal systems with differing views on custody and support.
The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction offers some guidance. It provides tools for the return of abducted children, but it only scratches the surface of the broader challenges.

Negotiating custody and child support demands a balance between legal requirements and the realities of life. Legal standards for determining the child’s best interest, parental financial obligations, and custody rights vary widely. The task lies in reaching an enforceable and practical consensus.

Division of Assets and Financial Considerations

Property, bank accounts, and personal possessions spread across countries require careful consideration. It can be a problem regarding valuation, legal jurisdiction, and equitable division. The interplay between laws can make expert legal advice essential.

Furthermore, spousal support can become aggravating to enforce in separate countries. Changes in personal finances and currency exchange rates add another layer of complexity. It can require active management to balance alimony with these financial realities.
Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements may simplify these issues. Creating these documents with an eye toward possible international scenarios is paramount.

Next Steps for International Divorce

International divorces involve legal, emotional, and financial difficulties. Merging laws from different jurisdictions highlights the essential role of expert legal advice. With this understanding, individuals are better equipped to move forward with confidence and insight.

Published: April 18, 2024 | Last Updated on: April 22, 2024
| by Hema

Today, I’m excited to share a wonderfully simple recipe that’s perfect for the warm weather, Kid-Friendly Delight: Cucumber Lemon Rice Recipe for Refreshing Bites. This dish is not only quick and easy to prepare but also packs a punch of fresh flavors that are sure to be a hit with the kids and the entire family. So, grab your aprons, and let’s create a dish that’s as fun to make as it is to eat!

Health Benefits of Cucumber

Cucumbers are a fantastic addition to a child’s diet, offering numerous health benefits while being mild and versatile enough to include in various dishes. Here are some key health benefits of cucumbers for kids:

• Cucumbers are made up of about 96% water, which makes them excellent for keeping children hydrated, especially during hot weather or after physical activities.
• The high water content and dietary fiber in cucumbers are great for promoting healthy digestion and preventing constipation, a common issue in children.
• Cucumbers provide a good source of vitamin K, which is essential for healthy bone growth and blood clotting. They also contain smaller amounts of vitamin A, vitamin C, and folic acid, which are important for overall health.
• The silica and antioxidants in cucumbers, such as vitamin C and beta-carotene, help support skin health, enhancing its elasticity and overall texture. This can be particularly beneficial for children who have skin sensitivities or conditions.
• Cucumbers contain various compounds that have anti-inflammatory effects, helping to reduce irritation and inflammation in the body.
• Crunching on cucumbers can help to rub away plaque and debris on teeth, promoting oral health.

Cucumber Lemon Rice Recipe

Ingredients:

• Cucumber – 1 medium size
• Lemon – juice of half a lemon
• Ginger – 1/2 inch piece
• Dry red chilli – 3
• Coconut – 1 tbsp (grated)
• Mint and Coriander leaves – 1 handful
• Cumin – 1/2 tsp (add it to grind along with Cucumber)
• Mustard – 1/2 tsp
• Asafoetida – 1/2 tsp
• Sesame Oil – 2 tbsp
• Jeera Samba Rice – 1 cup (cooked)
• Salt

Method

• Cook the rice, then let it cool completely.
• In a mixer, combine cumin, coconut, red chili, cucumber, coriander, and mint leaves. Pulse until coarsely ground.
• Alternatively, peel and grate the cucumber.
• Heat oil in a kadai (wok).
• Add mustard seeds and wait until they splutter.
• Stir in asafoetida and the ground cucumber mixture. Cook until the cucumber is soft and the oil begins to separate.
• Season with salt. Add the cooled rice and mix well.
• Squeeze some lemon juice over the rice, stir to combine, then turn off the heat.

Cucumbers are a wonderful food to include in your child’s diet. Not only are they hydrating and low in calories, but they also provide essential nutrients that support growth, digestion, and overall health. Whether served fresh in salads, blended into smoothies, or simply enjoyed as a crunchy snack, cucumbers are both versatile and beneficial. Encouraging your kids to consume cucumbers regularly can help foster healthy eating habits that contribute to their well-being now and as they grow.

Our Cucumber Lemon Rice recipe is more than just a delightful dish to enjoy on warm days—it’s a fun, fresh way to bring healthy eating into your family’s everyday diet. Simple to prepare and packed with the hydrating benefits of cucumbers paired with the zesty punch of lemon, it’s a dish that promises to be as popular with the kids as it is beneficial for their health. So next time you’re looking for a meal that’s both nutritious and kid-approved, remember this cucumber lemon twist. It’s sure to refresh, replenish, and revitalize, making mealtime a breeze and a joy. Give it a try and watch your little ones relish every bite!

Frequently Asked Questions

Kid-Friendly Delight: Cucumber Lemon Rice Recipe for Refreshing Bites

I'm thrilled to share a simple recipe that's perfect for warm weather, Kid-Friendly Delight: Cucumber Lemon Rice Recipe for Refreshing Bites

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Course: Lunch, Lunch Box recipe

Cuisine: Indian

Keyword: Cucumber

Ingredients

• 1 medium size Cucumber
• juice of half a lemon
• 1/2 inch piece ginger
• 3 Dry red chilli
• 1 tbsp coconut grated
• 1 handful Mint and Coriander leaves
• 1/2 tsp cumin (add it to grind along with Cucumber)
• 1/2 tsp mustard
• 1/2 tsp Asafoetida
• 2 tbsp Sesame Oil
• 1 cup Jeera Samba Rice cooked
• Salt

Instructions

• Cook the rice, then let it cool completely.

• In a mixer, combine cumin, coconut, red chili, cucumber, coriander, and mint leaves. Pulse until coarsely ground.

• Alternatively, peel and grate the cucumber.

• Heat oil in a kadai.

• Add mustard seeds and wait until they splutter.

• Season with salt. Add the cooled rice and mix well.

• Squeeze some lemon juice over the rice, stir to combine, then turn off the heat.

Are you looking for a place to get away for a weekend as a couple? Life is busy! And you both need a little time to reconnect, no distractions. We totally get it and you are in luck because we have found the most idyllic and romantic treehouse for your escape! The Old Soul Treehouse on Lake Greenwood is nothing short of completely stunning in every way. It’s one of a kind, nothing like it, completely magnificent and we’re going to tell you all about the magic we found in our stay!

Thank you to Old Soul Treehouse owner, Kristen, for providing us with a two-night stay so we could bring this review to our readers.

Watch the Video Tour

About the Treehouse

A true work of art, this treehouse is stunning and very special. Built with beautiful, unique, reclaimed, and restored pieces that are flawlessly incorporated into animaginative design, we’ve never seen anything like this treehouse. And we have stayed in a lot of vacation rentals.

The home’s guest book of information shares the history of these reclaimed components, including the gorgeous French doors in the tree house that opens to the deck and the view of Lake Greenwood. They are restored, fully functional, and came all the way from Turkey. I loved these doors. I think I probably took nearly a thousand pictures of them. Which, I realize sounds so silly. “What did you do on vacation?” “I took pictures of doors!” But they are that pretty. And, they work beautifully. The craftsmanship in this home does not disappoint.

Is a treehouse complete without a bridge and spiral stairs?
Probably not.
The property’s cast iron spiral staircase came from Bob Jones University, according to the home’s guest book. They date to the early 1900s and were located in the study of Bob Jones himself.

If you take the spiral staircase down to the ground, you’ll arrive at a beautiful deck under the treehouse. Lit with a strand of lights and a pretty chandelier, there’s a swinging bed to relax with a view of the lake plus two cozy wicker chairs. My husband and I enjoyed snacks, wine, and quite a few rounds of our favorite board games here.

Back up the spiral stairs, you can return to the house or turn and cross the bridge to the other deck which is round with little trees growing right through it, in true treehouse fashion. There’s a table for dining and a hot tub that lights up at night.

Heading back across the bridge is my other favorite part of this home. There’s a vintage window that opens out from the interior kitchen to an outdoor breakfast bar with two stools. We enjoyed lunch and breakfast at this little cozy outdoor nook.

Inside the treehouse

The interior of the treehouse is small but so airy and beautiful. We loved the kitchen with the vintage farmhouse feel, especially the soapstone sink! The smaller appliances are so cute, new but made to look vintage. We didn’t cook here and opted for a charcuterie one night and Doordash the next, but the home is fully equipped to cook a meal. You’ll find all the cooking things including pots and pans, cookie sheets, cutting boards, dishes, silverware, and the like. Everything you need!

There’s a pretty king-size bed that looks like it might have come from a Disney princess movie, and a full bathroom with a clawfoot tub. Don’t miss the totally gorgeous stained glass window above the tub, another beautifully incorporated treasure. The details in this treehouse are tremendous.

The treehouse book on the table has restaurant recommendations, information on where to get groceries, things to do, and everything you could possibly think of is there. You really don’t have to plan much at all before you arrive!

Spending Time at the Treehouse

You won’t find a television at the treehouse and that is intentional. Kristen, the treehouse owner, wants this place to be where couples come to connect. You’ll find board games and a record player with a wide selection of records. My husband and I loved having the record player. Listening to records is actually one of our favorite things to do at home and it was so neat to discover in a vacation rental. Very rare!

The home also has a cute lantern Bluetooth speaker so you can play any music you like from your device and even bring the speaker outside. There is wifi available. We brought it out to the hot tub on both nights of our stay and were so happy to have it.

The treehouse also has a private dock in Lake Greenwood that you can access with just a short path through the woods from the treehouse. There you’ll find two comfortable Adirondack chairs to enjoy the view. This is a good place to enjoy a beverage or a snack and good conversation.

You may notice a small building beside the dock in our photos and video. That is an old fishing cottage on the property. The owners hope to someday restore it but it is not currently in use by anyone. The dock is private just for you!

You can swim from the dock, fish with poles provided at the house (fishing license is required according to SCDNR and the owner warns that they do cruise around on a boat and check from time to time), or even rent a boat.

My husband and I brought our own inflatable paddle boards and we enjoyed several paddles on the lake. We went out to a railroad trestle crossing the lake and saw hawks nesting on the trestle top, several Herons, ducks, and other birds. Usually, when we head out to paddle we are keeping tabs on kids, so this was such a lovely change!

Speaking of kids, no one under 18 is allowed on the property. This is a kid-free space designed for adults to spend quality time with each other. After 4 kids and 18 years of marriage, we’ve learned that time for each other is a rare and precious thing, and we so appreciate it.

I love my kids, I really do, don’t get me wrong. But, to have a conversation without the possibility of being interrupted by our kids was so nice. It really took pounds off our mental load so we could just relax and communicate. And the kids were spending some quality time with their aunt, so it was really a win for us all.

Want to go?

We really can’t say enough wonderful things about this special property. We know you’ll want to visit for yourself.

Now for the best part! Ready to plan your little escape together? Just visit the Old Soul Treehouse on Airbnb and book it!

The Old Soul Treehouse
Waterloo, SC, on Lake Greenwood

“Mom, I got asked to be someone’s roommate!” My soon-to-be-college-freshman daughter’s voice beamed. It was as if I’d been catapulted ten years into the future and she’d just received a marriage proposal. I reined in my excitement, nodding rather than speaking, while reminding myself that this was just college.

“She loves blue, like me,” my daughter continued. 

“That’s perfect,” I teased her. “Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue, dorm decor, yay!”

My eighteen-year-old rolled her eyes at me. “Stop.”

Minutes after her Early Decision acceptance, my daughter began her roommate search

Just minutes after early decisions had dropped, my daughter had scrolled through her phone, showing me how future classmates began courting one another via direct messaging (DMs). She and the other students had listed their university names in their Instagram bio along with the graduation year. Now, once they “liked” the school’s Instagram page, other classmates could find them and check them out to consider as potential roommates.

With my daughter as my guide, I plunged into this whole new world where, if someone’s Instagram page was well curated, the student didn’t seem like a try hard, and their interests aligned with someone else’s, they might be cool enough, lucky enough, or whatever enough to score a roommate. The ritual made my heart race.

Finding a roommate is an added layer of stress

I’m guessing this anxiety-inducing practice would shock most parents like me who attended college in the dinosaur age, aka the 1990s. For this mom, who remembered back to experiencing enough pressure just leaving home, making the dean’s list, and procuring a sorority bid, I was appalled by the additional layer of tension roommate finding introduced into the mix. Talk about stress. 

Yet, when I really thought about it, this whole online reality is pretty normal for our kids’ generation. It is sort of like online dating. Is there an app for finding a college roommate? I researched and found out that of course there is. Sigh.

I was randomly paired with my roommate

Back in the pre-internet 90s, I was paired with a random person, a girl from a state north of mine. Her home address arrived in a letter from our university over the summer, just a few months before freshman year started. I wrote her a note on my favorite monogrammed stationary and received a reply with her phone number two weeks later. We exchanged letters and photos and chatted a few times before move-in day, which was the first time we met IRL. 

My black comforter with hot pink and teal stars clashed with her solid mauve one. I hung the famous black and white sailor and woman kissing poster on my wall, and she hung tapestries. As a short brunette from Staten Island, who sneaked to New York City bars with a really bad fake ID, I was in awe of the tall blonde from a Christmas tree farm in rural Connecticut who claimed she went cow-tipping for fun.

We couldn’t have been more opposite, and I can guarantee we wouldn’t have chosen to live together if the match wasn’t random. But, despite our differences, we became friends. When she transferred to another college in the second semester to be closer to her boyfriend, I scored a single.

But without her companionship, I was sad and forced, to once again step out of my comfort zone and meet people markedly different from myself to learn about independence. I think meeting people from all walks of life is an important feature of college. I hope that aspect doesn’t get watered down when our kids curate friends and roommates via social media before school begins.

My daughter was “engaged” to her roommate via Snapchat

My daughter and her future roommate were engaged to be roommates via Snapchat a few weeks after committing to school. They met up for lunch in a town halfway between where we both live, and my child came home from their in-person meeting, enamored.

I’m so happy things clicked so quickly and easily for them, even if I’m a little sad for the whole generation of kids who won’t know the combination of fear and excitement one feels when getting dropped off on a college campus, without knowing a soul, and being forced to open their minds and hearts to a kaleidoscope of new people in order to figure out how to survive their new world of independence. 

There’s safety in getting to know all of your classmates, learning their stories, and mentally swiping left or right all before high school graduation. In some cases, depending on the person, I bet that safety is a little bit like bowling with the guard rails up, so you never get a gutter ball. 

For now, since the frenzy of shopping around for prospective roommates continues, I’ll wish my fellow dinosaur-parents the strength to keep up with this new world our kids are navigating and, if it is what your child is hoping for, may they too receive a dormproposal!

“I’m so happy we found each other, Mom. I’ll figure out the other college stuff,” my daughter said just yesterday. I’m grateful she has a close friend, a familiar face, and someone she considers a compatible living mate.

If I know her, she will spread her wings and be open-minded because she’s that kind of kid. So for now, my hope is that after we “walk her down the hallway” to her new room in August and she adjusts to college life, she’ll throw me a bouquet (because I’m such a great mom) and not just her dirty laundry when she comes home to visit.

More Great Reading:

Top Twelve Dorm Shopping Mistakes (2024)

I’m the parent of a high school junior. And, I’m starting to panic.

I know that our high school ride is flying down the freeway way faster than the speed limit I had envisioned. I’m feeling unprepared, unorganized, and in straight up disbelief that we are just one short exit away from the on-ramp to college.

It’s a great stroke of luck that I am also a teacher, who has been gifted with a few incredible high school seniors who are volunteering hours of their time in my classroom as part of their studies. I have gleaned great insight from the incredible wisdom of these soon-to-be graduates, who are experiencing first hand all of the things that are just around the corner for our son.

So I asked them the burning question that I have not stopped thinking about: What can or should the parent of a soon-to-be high school senior, do to be helpful in a college search?

And they gave me some remarkable answers. Straight from the mouths of seniors, here are some incredible words of wisdom, for parents/guardians like me, who are beginning the journey into senior year alongside their child.

5 tips from high school seniors to parents

1. Give your almost-senior space to still be a junior

Even though I have an extremely academically driven kid who I know is planning on going to college, it seems that right now, any conversation about life after high school, sends him into shutdown. It’s overwhelming. And the options seem so broad.

There is a waiting game of things that need to come together in harmony before decisions can be made-ACT scores not yet disclosed, sports recruiting opportunities still unknown, potential scholarships still undiscovered. I’m learning that I need to be patient and just let him live in the moments he has now and all of those things will unfold in time.

2. When those things come together, our teen can start their search

Patience is a virtue I value, and so is action. These seniors all talked about the importance of being ready to start the search once your unknowns fall into place. They shared how looking early gives you time to figure out what you like and what you don’t, since so much of a college search is a narrowing down process.

The thing that stuck with me, as a parent, was to remember to balance the overwhelmingness of thinking about it and looking, with the encouragement of setting up an action plan so that the weight of procrastination doesn’t drop like an anvil later on.

3. Your teen should unsubscribe from colleges they know they are not interested in

Somewhere in the past few years, we have been added to multiple college mailing lists and email subscriptions. High schools do a great job of checking in with kids to get them thinking about the beginning stages of life after high school, and if college is part of their path, guidance counselors are on top of their game in helping kids start looking.

The number of flyers and college preview invites we get daily is enough to take down a small forest. Not to mention the emails that flood our in boxes. It can feel like a lot.

One of the simplest tips that I totally would have overlooked, is to encourage our son to unsubscribe to places he knows he is not interested in right away. And to do it myself. This will not only help save trees, but also sanity.

4. Help your senior set up the logistics of their college visits but then let them be the navigator

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that our late teens are still kids. They are so wise as they head off into their adult lives. But they are not there yet.

Taking some of the logistics off of our teens’ plates in setting up visits, and walking them through how you did it later on can pay off in dividends later. These seniors talked about how sometimes late junior year, and senior year, can feel like the only focus people give is on college. Yet, they still want to balance life with their college searches.

Looking at schools, analyzing the different elements, and deciding which ones are worth the visit can take a lot of their time and energy. The sage advice I was given is to listen closely and devise a plan to visit the ones that seem most interesting to them. Help them email or call to set up the visit, and then leave the rest to them.

5. Take pictures of everything during college visits

All of the little details make a big difference in the final decisions leading up to choosing a college. From the food, to the dorms, to the classroom climate- it all matters. And, it’s hard to keep it all straight if you’re looking at multiple schools.

One suggestion these young adults gave me was to keep a digital file for each school you look at, with a quick one pager that has the pertinent information. Include pictures of the different areas you saw to help trigger your memory of and remind you of how you felt at that campus. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words.

While all of these tips might seem like simple common sense, for me they were great reminders of how to navigate the next year. Starting now. I feel like there are lots of hidden gems that our youth have to offer, if we just ask the right questions.

I’m really glad I did.

More Great Reading:

The Stages of Senior Year: Essays, Acceptances, Celebrations