Teaching is definitely a profession where you need both a poker face and thick skin. It amazes me that kids in kindergarten all the way to high school walk onto school grounds and suddenly get jolted with some extra-strength chutzpah!
Or maybe there is something in the water fountains in schools? From what I can tell, there’s a force that prompts students to share inappropriate, personal, or brutally honest thoughts with their teacher as soon as they pop into their heads.
Westend61 / Getty Images
Teachers must take in whatever their students say to their faces without a response, snarky comeback, or even a giggle! I wear my emotions on my sleeve and I can’t keep my mouth shut if I feel insulted so big props to teachers everywhere that do it day in and day out—with a smile!
It’s why I can’t stop watching 8th-grade teacher Miss Dugan’s (@miss.dugan1) hilarious TikTok video where she deadpans a rundown of shocking, horrifying, and unbelievable things her students have had the gall to say to her.
Kids Say The Darndest Things…Or Not?
Now, I know my daughter and her friends love asking their teachers how old they are, if they are married or have kids. Those may not always be welcome questions but they are innocent enough. You might even say they are expected.
Yet poor Miss Dugan isn’t getting any softballs. Here’s just a sampling of actual things she says her students have said to her:
“Are you in therapy?” followed up by, “You seem like the type.”
She’s been told she looks like “my grandpa’s couch.”
Her pants look like “trash bags.”
The toilet paper at her school “sucks.” (Why is the school’s toilet paper her problem? Because the student wanted her to know they got “dookie” on their hands as a result.)
There was a “fat ass” alert while she ate crackers.
One student laid it all out there, admitting Miss Dugan did not want to know what was said behind her back or she’d “quit her job.”
Now I don’t know Miss Dugan personally, but I would venture to guess that the question that likely stung the most? “How does it feel to be the only unmarried teacher in this school?”
In this video, Miss Dugan is really a great sport about it. While she’s clearly exasperated and shocked by the audacity of “kids these days,” it’s obvious that she’s in on the joke and knows fielding such commentary is all part of the 180 days of the school year (not that she or any teacher is ever counting, right?).
Parents’ Readers Weigh In
It turns out Miss Dugan’s video was relatable to teachers everywhere, proving she’s certainly not alone. We asked teachers on the Parents’ Facebook page to reveal some of the wildest things that students have ever said to them and some of their responses are just as shocking.
Questions about personal lives
One thing is clear—kids (especially those in middle and high school) are fascinated with the details of their teacher’s personal lives. One teacher revealed that when word got out to students that she was pregnant, one asked “You keeping it?” In this case, her comeback was appropriate (and hilarious). “Well, I kept my other two so I guess I’ll keep this one too,” she replied.
Then there was the 11th-grade teacher whose student wondered if she’d tell them “when her ‘eggo’s preggo.’” When she told the same kid when she was indeed expecting, the response? “Oh, good, we thought you were just getting a little fat.”
Littles keep it real
While it seems middle and high schoolers go for shock value, we can still count on younger kids in kindergarten and first grade for the “keeping it real” laughs.
One teacher reveals a first grader told her, “You live in my nightmares” because she had the class do a paper. I can only imagine how this student will feel about book reports and essays in a few years!
A kindergarten teacher had to take it in when one of her little ones whispered that her hair smelled like her “grandma’s dog.”
But maybe my favorite that has me cracking up as I type is the kindergartener who told her teacher, “Hey—Imma take my sock off so you can see my toe cheese!” Sure, it’s an image I’d like to get out of my head but I hope it reminds teachers that when all else fails, maybe it is okay to laugh every now and then.
Respect for All Teachers
I could list a million reasons why I have the utmost respect and admiration for teachers of all grades and subjects. I look at them in awe knowing how much they do for our children and how they are advocating for their future in and out of the classroom. I can’t get over how tirelessly teachers work for not enough pay and nowhere near enough gratitude. I bow down to their daily display of patience, diplomacy, and empathy.
Teachers, you got this, we appreciate all you do—and apologize in advance if our kids leave their filters at home!
Frequent vacuuming is a time-consuming but necessary chore for families with little ones. Between work, taking care of the house, and chasing around kids and pets, most of us would love to skip vacuuming altogether. Thankfully, a robot vacuum cleaner does the work for you, so there’s one less thing on your to-do list.
If you’ve had your eyes on a high-end robot vacuum like an iRobot Roomba but aren’t crazy about the price tag, you’re in luck. With over 7,800 glowing five-star ratings, this robot vac is now 55% off—meaning the $200 model is on sale for just $94.
Lefant M210 Robot Vacuum Cleaner
Amazon
The Lefant M210 Robot Vacuum is just 2.99 inches tall so it can easily maneuver under most furniture. And at under a foot wide (11 inches, to be exact), the slim vacuum clears most chair legs and won’t need to be rescued like some other models.
One of the vacuum’s key features is its brushless suction, which is strong enough to capture pet hair, dirt, and other debris. “I have a Roomba and I love this vacuum so much more,” gushed one shopper who appreciated the quiet operation and powerful suction that sucks up hair left behind by their two dogs and two cats. Another owner echoed that this “mighty machine” is “better than the Roomba,” adding that it easily transitions from their carpet to hardwood floors.
Lefant M210 Robot Vacuum Cleaner
Amazon
The vacuum is also WiFi-compatible using the brand’s app or an Amazon Alexa-enabled smart device. This allows you to remotely set run times, adjust suction power, shift between the vacuum’s six cleaning modes, and adjust the area you want it to clean. Plus, built-in anti-collision infrared sensors ensure that your vacuum won’t bump into furniture (or you) while it’s cleaning.
Most importantly, The Lefant M210 Robot Vacuum is programmed to automatically return to its base when the battery is low or a cleaning session is over. Choose zig-zag mode to thoroughly cover large areas and edge mode to target tricky-to-reach dirt that gets trapped near baseboards and corners.
Amazon
This vacuum has a 120-minute runtime and can clean up to 1,300 square feet on a single charge. Along with anti-drop technology, you can take advantage of the roomy 500-milliliter dustbin, meaning you don’t need to empty the bin often. Normally $200, you can currently snag this robot vac for 55% off using an on-site coupon, bringing its price down to $94. “Honestly, not having to sweep or vacuum is worth way more…to me,” said one buyer, while another declared that they’re “never going back to that expensive Roomba again.”
The beloved series Sofia the First is set to return to screens! Disney Jr. just announced it approved a sequel for the series, and production for Sofia the First: Royal Magic is already underway. This series will follow Disney’s first little girl princess and all her royal adventures.
Here’s everything you need to know about the sequel when it premieres, and how you (and your preschooler) can watch it.
All About ‘Sofia the First’
In case you forgot, the original series Sofia the First follows the adventures of a peasant girl who turns into a princess following the marriage of her mother to the King of Enchancia. The show originally premiered on Disney+ in 2012, then it ran from January 2013 to September 2018, on Disney Junior, with a total of four seasons. The series showcases the adventures Sofia takes on with her friends throughout the kingdom—especially her adventures with her animal buddies—whom she communicates with using an amulet that blesses or curses her based on how good her behavior is.
The original series is lauded for its musicality, animation, and themes throughout—which positions the cartoon as a top show for preschoolers—garnering over 755 million views in total. The creators of Sofia the First aim to take realistic themes such as single motherhood and bring them to the world of fantasy and animation.
The series integrates a positive reflection of a non-nuclear family that includes non-marital children in a way that is free from the usual calamities that come to mind when thinking of step-siblings in fantasy themes (cue Cinderella’s evil stepsisters). Sofia builds a strong connection to her twin siblings Amber and James and her parents. Kids who may have separated parents might find the show is a good example of all the different ways to be a family.
Everything You Need To Know About ‘Sofia the First: Royal Magic’
Continuing from the huge success of the original series, Sofia the First: Royal Magic is set in a different location but will still include all of the enduring appeal of the first series. In Sofia the First: Royal Magic, Sofia will begin in a new school that specializes in royal magic called The Charmswell School for Royal Magic.
During her time there, she will learn to master her magic skills, all while collaborating with royal classmates—the princes and princesses from across the EverRealm. The show will take its young viewers on a journey of self-discovery and friendship as Sofia will learn how to work as a team and build connections that will last a lifetime.
Each episode will feature a new original song and will contain two 11-minute stories.
How To Watch The ‘Sofia the First’ Sequel
The sequel to “Sofia the First” is currently in production and is slated to release in 2026. Fans of the show can catch the sequel, Sofia the First: Royal Magic on Disney Junior and Disney+. We’ll be sure to keep you posted as soon as we find out the date!
I don’t think I’m the only mom that loves Spanx. The brand is my go-to when I wear body-hugging outfits like bodycon dresses or even slim-fit outfits where I want to create a smooth silhouette. While the top-notch shapewear usually comes at top-shelf prices, Spanx’s sale is happening right now, and they’ve got great pieces for fall.
You can save up to 70% on the brand’s best pieces, from shapewear essentials, undies, and slimming swimwear to easy, everyday clothing like bodysuits, joggers, and comfortable office-ready pants. With low prices on our 10 favorite pieces, now’s the time to snag everything that’s been sitting in your cart for the last few months—but hurry, because we’ve already noticed popular styles selling out.
Our Top 10 Spanx Sales
Spanx Classic Swim Brief
Spanx
These classic swim briefs provide plenty of coverage in the back and have a high-waisted rise to keep you feeling comfortable and supported. Offering a more inclusive size range from XS through 3X, these swimsuit bottoms are made with UPF 50+ fabric for added sun safety (because summer isn’t over yet!). “The fit is so nice,” exclaimed one shopper. “I feel comfortable and good in it!”
Spanx Suit Yourself Ribbed Crew Neck Short Sleeve Bodysuit
Spanx
A crew neck bodysuit with short sleeves is perfect for pairing with work pants, jeans, and even leggings. Available in four colors (black, white, navy, and olive), this style features tummy-smoothing support and a snap gusset closure so you don’t have to pull the whole thing down to pee. “This bodysuit is very comfortable and fits true to size,” confirmed one shopper.
Spanx Satin Unlined Full Coverage Bra
Spanx
Imagine a bra that’s comfy yet lifting. This Spanx bra features unlined cups, so they’re super comfortable and don’t feel too tight. We credit the stretchy satin fabric, which is soft to the touch. Available in four colors and more than a dozen sizes, the bra gives you full coverage. Plus, it’s 50% off right now.
Spanx On-the-Move Tapered Pant
Spanx
If you thought Spanx was only for shapewear and control-top swim pieces, think again. These casual tapered joggers are just the travel pants you need for your next family trip. They come in three inseam lengths—regular, petite, and tall—and feature a stretchy waistband and a drawstring closure. Plus, two side pockets add functionality and ease.
“I love these pants, they look nice enough for work and are great to travel in,” shared one reviewer. In addition to the stylish look, the functional pants are moisture-wicking and have UPF 50+ protection. However, shoppers do note that these run a bit small, so consider sizing up if you’re on the border between sizes.
Spanx Seamless Power Sculpting EcoCare Ribbed Boyshorts
Spanx
These boyshorts are right up my alley–and for the $14 sale price, they’re a steal. You can even buy two pairs for the price of one to try several of the four neutral colors. These sculpting undies offer gentle compression for smoother lines thanks to the seamless design and four-way stretch. They’re “Great for everyday wear when you want some support but nothing tight,” gushed one shopper who plans to order more.
Spanx Bra-llelujah! Lightly Lined Bralette
Spanx
A smooth material and extra wide straps make this bralette comfortable yet supportive for all-day wear. The v-neck cut works with a wider range of necklines, and there are no pesky, poking wires or hardware to be found. It’s “the most comfortable bra I’ve ever worn,” shared one shopper, adding that it’s “durably made and perfectly supportive.” The bra is 50% off in muted red and blue colors and sizes S through XL.
Spanx The Perfect Pant, Kick Flare
Spanx
Whether it’s the office, PTA meetings, or even a night out with the girls, these pants are prepared to get you there in style—and they’re over $100 off. The slightly cropped design and slight flare at the bottom keep the look fresh and modern rather than dated. Key features include a pull-on design, hidden core shaping, and machine washability.
One shopper agreed, stating that the pants were “perfect for work or casual,” and that they are “easy to dress up or down.” Choose from three inseams—regular, petite, and tall—and four colors, including solids and a plaid print.
Spanx OnCore Sculpting High-Waisted Mid-Thigh Short
Spanx
You can’t shop at the Spanx sale and not pick up actual shapewear. The OnCore Sculpting High-Waisted Mid-Thigh Short is one of Spanx’s iconic styles that checks off multiple boxes: a compressive high waist, smoothing materials, and even “booty enhancement.”
“I’ve been using this shapewear for years and it’s the one I always reach for,” said one shopper, adding that the shorts are “very comfortable and slimming at the same time.” Currently 70% off, this is a hot item that’s already selling out in some sizes.
Another wardrobe staple that can be worn through all seasons, this sleeveless mock neck bodysuit can easily shift from casual outfits to office attire or date night with minimal effort. Available in three neutral colors in sizes XS to 3X, the bodysuit has smoothing, waist-defining technology, a snap gusset closure, and is machine washable. “This fit beautifully,” said one shopper. “It’s comfy and form-flattering.”
Spanx Classic Swim Bikini
Spanx
For fans of a cheekier swim look, Spanx’s Classic Swim Bikini sits at the hip (lower than the briefs) and has a slightly smaller cut. Still, the dig-free leg openings keep everything smooth and prevent bulges while providing UPF 50+ protection. The swim bottoms “fit great” and are “well-made,” added one reviewer.
Thinking about a trip to Unicoi State Park in Georgia? Unicoi State Park hosts some unique ways to get outdoors with your family. We sent contributor Kristina to check out their barrel cabins and soak up all the adventure she and her kids could handle for a few days in Northern Georgia.
Accommodations at Unicoi State Park were given to us so we could review the park but the opinions henceforth are those solely of the author.
As much as I’d love to take a few months or even a year off to show my kids the world and have all kinds of epic adventures, it’s not happening. It’s not possible for most families. What is possible? Lots of places within driving distance of the Upstate to have amazing adventures.
One such place we recently visited – only two hours away – and made those memories that I was hoping to share with my kids, instilling adventure into their developing personalities, and satisfying my own wanderlust.
Unicoi State Park, part of the Georgia State Park system, is only two hours away from Greenville and has everything a family could want for a great trip – camping, cabins, a lodge, zip lining, swimming, boating, fishing, hiking, archery, you name it. And the quaint German town of Helen is a mere five minutes away by car or 90 minutes by hiking.
Staying in a Barrel Cabin at Unicoi State Park
I’ve never ventured into the North Georgia mountains or a Georgia state park so I had no idea what to expect. We stayed at the park in a barrel cabin, which is pretty much like it sounds. My kids were in awe when we pulled up. They said “we are staying in that? How cool!” It’s fun to amaze your kids.
Barrel cabins at Unicoi State Park
Barrel Cabin Amenities
The barrel cabin we stayed in is one of several in the park. It had two bedrooms, a pullout couch, a full kitchen, living and dining rooms, and a porch with rocking chairs where you could see one of the trails and catch glimpses of the lake. It’s a good size and can fit six people.
My favorite was the kitchen because I try to stay in places that have cooking areas because it saves me so much money on eating out. This cabin was a win.
In my barrel cabin, the two bedrooms were upstairs, while the full bath was downstairs. I thought it may be an issue for middle-of-the-night bathroom runs for my daughter but it worked out fine.
The barrel cabins were designed and built in the 1970s as an experiment to lure people into the park to enjoy all of the wonderful outdoor activities the park offers. Needless to say, the barrel cabins were a hit, and generations later, people can still stay in this odd, but useful and functional, structure.
The cabins are built on stilts and are in a little barrel cabin village, nestled within the forest and right off the lake trail that loops around Unicoi Lake. The interior is all wood and although not completely updated to Chip and Joanna Gaines’ standards, they are clean, comfortable, and have air conditioning and heat. There are cabins from one-bedroom up to deluxe three-bedrooms.
One special thing I loved about the barrel cabin is the symphony of sounds when it rains – the structure has tin on the outside so the rain is beautiful. Sit on the covered porch and just listen. You haven’t experienced the beauty of rain until you’ve heard it on a tin roof.
Other options for lodging
If you’re into primitive camping, have an RV, or want a
space more like a hotel room or even a large cabin, the state park has all of those
available as well – and plenty of them. The park is spacious and has lots of
room for everyone.
Prices for barrel cabins and other lodgings vary widely based upon season. Accommodation reservations are available online. Some of the accommodations in the park are pet friendly.
Unicoi State Park Beach
Unicoi State Park has a small but beautiful beach swimming area. I loved this for my young kids and they enjoyed the shallow water. We brought sand toys and spent a good chunk of time there enjoying the warm day on the sandy beach. The water is not more than four feet deep, maybe even less. Mountain beaches are great.
Although we didn’t rent boats during our visit, several options for enjoying the water are available: paddle boats, kayaks, and stand-up paddleboards. There is a boat house right at the beach where you can rent whatever you like, although call ahead for reservations during the busy summer and fall seasons to make sure you get what you want.
Unicoi Beach
Hiking
There are numerous trails throughout the park to stretch
your legs.
Lake Trail
The Lake Trail loops around Unicoi Lake and is an easy hike and a beautiful way to see the lake. We took it in parts after dinner and my kids enjoyed it.
Smith Creek Trail
The Smith Creek Trail is over eight miles and is more difficult. Check out AllTrails before you go to plan ahead for any unforeseen challenges.
Lake Trail at Unicoi State Park
Unicoi to Helen Trail
The Unicoi to Helen Trail was on my list but we didn’t get
to it. It’s a six-mile roundtrip hike from the park right into Helen, the famed
Bavarian-themed village. It’s of moderate difficulty but a great way to get in
some exercise before enjoying beer and brats and then hiking back (or taking the
free shuttle to the park).
Anna Ruby Falls
Anna Ruby Falls, the waterfalls named after the daughter of a Civil War general, is located in the park up a paved 0.4 mile trail. It’s straight up so it may take you some time while you catch your breath but it’s magnificent. I failed to capture the beauty of the falls on camera but needless to say, if you can make it here during your trip, do it.
There is a $5/person fee for anyone ages 16+. And there is a cute little gift shop on site as well as restrooms and picnic tables.
Anna Ruby Falls
Archery, Zip Lining, Water Sports, & Fishing
Unicoi State Park is actually an adventure lodge as well,
hosting an enormous zip line course, an archery range, an airgun range, and fishing
on-site.
Zip Line Course
Kids have to be at least six-years-old to do most of the adventures so we weren’t able to do what I was hoping for this time around, which means we have to come back. But we did see many of the zip lines and platforms and it looked incredible. Many of the lines go right across the gorgeous lake and everything else looked like it was part of the forest.
In the fall, I can only imagine the tapestry of colors that the forest showcases. Fall is one of the busiest times of year for Unicoi State Park because of the changing of the colors of the leaves.
Being from Greenville, I always think “go north”, go to the Blue Ridge Parkway or up in the mountains near Asheville. But the mountains of Northern Georgia put on quite the show as well. Imagine zip lining and hiking through the forest that time of year!
One of the zip line platforms
Archery
I was quite bummed we weren’t able to participate in archery while at the park. I love the sport and my girls are learning quickly as well. If you have your own bow and arrows, you only pay $5 to use the range.
Otherwise, it’s $25/person for a lesson and range time. If you haven’t felt the pull on the string, your fingers tugging and feeling for the right moment, and that last breath you take below you let the arrow fly, you’re missing out.
Fishing
The park also teaches fly fishing lessons. I’d absolutely do if I had the patience of a saint, which I don’t. I imagine it would be an enlightening and enjoyable activity – the photos alone would probably be worth it- but I may need a little convincing to get me away from the archery range.
More adventures
Boats and mountain bikes are available to rent and other activities, like s’mores at a campfire, happens at night as well as GoPro rentals and GPS scavenger hunts. Adventure pricing is available online.
The location couldn’t be better
Unicoi State Park is just five minutes from Helen, Georgia and all the restaurants and activities of the Bavarian village. We certainly made use of the proximity of the park by grabbing ice cream and chocolate truffles as well as taking a tubing trip with Cool River Tubing down the Chattahoochee River.
The park runs a free shuttle to Helen as well – just call the lodge 30 minutes before you want to leave – which saves money on parking in town.
Also nearby are fantastic hiking trails in addition to the
ones at the park itself. We did the High Shoals Falls Trail, only about a 25-minute
drive from the park, where we saw Blue Hole swimming hole and High Shoals Falls,
both of which were worth the 2.5 mile hike.
Day-use area at Unicoi State Park
Unicoi State Park has a huge day-use area with a playground, lots of picnic shelters, creek access, and restrooms.
My kids loved the playground and a swimming hole looked ideal for hot weather, which we totally would have used if we had more time to spend that day. The park has many picnic shelters spread throughout the park that visitors can rent.
Day-use area at Unicoi State Park
Adventure is calling
There are few things I’d rather do with my kids than explore the outdoors. The best part is that you don’t need to go far from Greenville in order to fulfill that desire.
There is so much to enjoy at Unicoi State Park that you’ll want to come back the minute you leave, wishing you had the time to have more adventures. You don’t even need days and days to savor that quality together and make memories that will stay with you and your family for years to come.
So what’s holding you back? You can’t have too much fun in the mountains.
Have you been to Unicoi State Park?
For more ideas of places to see and things to do in Georgia, see our Guide to Georgia Travel.
“I’m Okay. My location is 36.571312…” this automatic satellite text alerts my phone, waking me from an anxious sleep. Celebrating a milestone birthday, my son and his wife are climbing Mount Whitney, where three people passed away a few months earlier.
These programmed texts, with the global address numbers, are sent as they hike so their location can be established if something goes wrong. They have trained extensively and are well-prepared, but I worry. What else is new?
As I stare at my phone, I realize these messages are more broadly meaningful than just specifically about this particular trip.
My son after climbing Mt. Whitney (Photo credit: Brita Hobmann)
“I’m okay” is what my relationship with my son is all about
“I’m okay” encompasses my entire parenting journey with my son.
“I’m Okay. My location is 36.571445…”
On the day he was born, he was okay – better than okay – he was perfect. Big blue eyes, completely healthy, extra-long and skinny. After years of infertility and pregnancies losses, he was here and fine, despite my fears.
“I’m Okay. My location is 36.56288…”
Throughout his early childhood, he repeatedly demonstrated he was okay. I worried about being a working mom, but he was a bright, inquisitive, and loving little boy, able to adapt on the days I worked. I worried about where to send him to preschool and then which elementary school, but he thrived in each setting.
One of his teachers sent him to be tested for the gifted program and the district personnel recommended that he skip a grade, but being on the younger side in his class, based on the district’s birthdate cutoff, we were already under pressure from relatives to hold him back, as most boys born in the same month started school a year later.
I worried about doing the right thing by my son
I worried – where would he be happy yet academically challenged? The advice-givers made it sound as if we made the wrong decision, our son’s entire life would be ruined and we would be terrible parents. My husband, the calm and steady one, reminded me that our son was exactly where he was supposed to be, not by jumping ahead or by being held back – our son was okay.
“I’m Okay. My location is 36.562336…”
As my boy entered double digits, I realized I needed to stop projecting my anxieties onto him. My insecurities and worries were influencing his emotional responses. Improving emotional self-regulation is an important skill for tweens and I didn’t want him to have the stream of my anxious thoughts in his head. I wasn’t always successful keeping my anxiety to myself, but he would push back, reminding me he was okay, even though sometimes it was really, really hard for me to rein in my concerns.
I had to learn to let my son fight his own battles
At the end of fifth grade, he loved to play handball. One day he came home, saying that he had run out to the courts at recess, only to be surrounded by a group of boys, some of them his closest friends, chanting “Freckle face, freckle face, you are a freckle face.”
He thought about what to do. Maybe run away? Maybe he should tell the yard supervisor? He thought about punching one or two of them. What he ended up doing was saying to them, “Yup – I am a freckle face. So?” They retorted by saying, “Freckles are ugly! Freckles are stupid!”
He said he stood there and just kept looking at them, repeating, “OK. So?” After a few more minutes, he asked, “Can we go play handball now?” And they all moved on, playing handball together. When he told me the story, I was fuming. I’m calling their parents! That’s bullying! I’m calling the school! I’m going to… but my son stopped me. “Mom – who cares? I DO have lots of freckles and I can’t do anything about it.
That’s what I thought about while they were saying that stuff to me. I have freckles. So what?” Nothing like this ever happened again and most of those boys remained friends through high school. Some are still in contact. He was okay, even if I wasn’t.
High school was full of worries
“I’m Okay. My location is 36.559383…”
High school. All of us worried. My son will now say, “Why did I get nervous about such stupid stuff?” And I’ll reply, “Probably because of me!”
Team tryouts, Mock Trial competitions, projects, grades, friendships, college applications – endless reasons to worry. Yet he always seemed to bounce back, able to pivot when needed. His personal cutoff time for homework was 10:00 p.m., even if he got home at 9:55. Seinfeld was always on at 10 p.m. and he said he “needed to end the day by laughing.”
Baseball was his first love, but by the end of his sophomore year, he decided that the high school baseball team wasn’t a good fit. After an especially egregious incident during a summer practice game before his junior year, my son calmly (while I was livid) walked off the field and said good-bye to that coach.
Later that evening I was surprised to learn he emailed the high school water polo coach, asking if he could still try out. Even though he hadn’t played water polo since he was eleven years old, he joined the team for the next two years. Playing only a few minutes during games, he still enjoyed being part of an athletic team and had a blast.
I had to learn to trust my son’s judgement
After some research, he started playing for a club baseball organization, outside of school. He found a way to still play baseball and was later joined by other players who subsequently also left the high school team, allowing him to continue a connection with his high school teammates and he was recruited for college ball.
While I squirmed and fretted, I was also learning to trust his judgment. I never spoke to the high school baseball coach nor called the school about what was happening, though I had good cause, because my son said he could handle it.
I still nagged about grades and other issues, but increasingly I practiced deep breathing, accepting my changing role to be one as more of a sounding-board, keeping the angst to myself and verbally acknowledging his ability to manage stressful situations. This seemed to work as my anxieties didn’t appear to infect his overall demeanor or composure and more than once, he proved that he was fine.
“I’m Okay. My location is 36.578747…”
My worrying continued…first college and then early adulting. I learned to keep my mouth shut unless I was asked for advice. Respecting the fact that he was now an adult, as hard as it was, I knew he would make his own decisions and that I no longer could do anything about the consequences of those decisions.
I worried about him when he was in college and a young adult
Was he getting enough sleep, did he know about internships, were the girls he was dating going to break his heart? Where was he going to live and who was he going to live with when he started his new job? I could go on and on but he was always one step ahead of me.
He has friends and a job that he enjoys and finds challenging. He met an exceptional young woman (through an online dating site – oh my gosh – my worries about scams and potential dangers!) and got married (and she’s the best!). They are happy and healthy. He is well.
“I’m okay. My location undetermined…”
I now have no idea where he currently is on the mountain. As he enters a new decade, he’ll be encountering new obstacles and reaching new pinnacles in his life. While I won’t have a satellite message always letting me know his progress, I have faith he’ll be okay.
Resting my fingers on this last message, I send a prayer out to the universe to keep them safe, as that’s all I can do at this stage of parenting, hoping it finds him, wherever he may be. Keep climbing, my boy, keep climbing.
As back-to-school approaches, I’m feeling mixed emotions: sadness that summer is over, relief for the return of routine, excitement for the ways in which my kids will grow and learn – and cautiousness about the intense messages about achievement and success that my teens, who attend high-achieving schools, will inevitably face.
They won’t be alone. Researchers have estimated that 1 in 3 American adolescents – 14 million kids – feel an “excessive pressure to achieve.” These students are now officially an “at risk” group, meaning they are 2-6xs more likely to suffer from clinical levels of anxiety and depression and 2-3xs more likely to suffer from substance abuse disorder than the average American teen. That’s the bad news.
We can teach them how to be healthy strivers
The good news is that we can push back against the toxic achievement pressure our kids face and teach them how to be healthy strivers. What I have found in my reporting for my book Never Enough is that there are actions we can take now in our homes, in our classrooms, and on the athletic field to buffer against the increasing anxiety, depression, and loneliness too many of our young people are feeling.
For my book, I went in search of the kids who were doing well despite the pressure. I wanted to know what, if anything, they had in common: What was home life like for them? What did their parents focus on? What was school like and their relationship with their peers? What did they see as their role in their larger community? It boiled down to this: the kids who were doing well felt like they mattered to their parents – they felt valued for who they were deep inside, away from the trophies, GPAs and acceptance rates.
Pressure, anxiety, depression, and loneliness in our kids is an unmet need to feel valued unconditionally
When we talk about pressure, anxiety, depression, and loneliness in our kids, what we are really talking about is an unmet need to feel valued unconditionally for who we are deep at our core. Our kids are bombarded with messages that they are valued for what they achieve, not who they are. So, the parents of the healthy strivers made a conscious effort to make home a haven from the pressure, a place where their kids could recover, a place where they never have to prove their worth.
To be clear, feeling like we matter is not separate from performance. These parents still had expectations, they still wanted their kids to reach their potential but they communicated these messages in a way that preserved their child’s sense of self-worth and mattering. When we matter unconditionally, we are more likely to show up at home and school in positive and healthy ways with a kind of healthy fuel that motivates us to reach higher, to go further, and to bounce back from setbacks.
Here are ways to make home a haven from the pressure and to encourage wise striving in our kids
1. Delight in them
As parents, we can be under so much pressure to get through our endless to-do list that we don’t take time to show our kids how much we love them. When they walk in the door, greet them at least once a day with the same unabashed joy the family dog would.
2. Strive to be a good enough parent
Kids don’t need perfect role models. What they need is someone who loves them and teaches them what it means to be an imperfect but loveable human. To teach our kids how to love themselves unconditionally, they need adults in their lives modeling self-acceptance, flaws and all.
3. Be a balance keeper
Kids need to learn self-care skills. The nonprofit Challenge Success suggests the mnemonic “PDF” to remember that our kids need playtime (in order kids, recharging time), downtime and family time every day.
4. Get curious, not furious
Be mindful about how we express disappointment about their performance –whether it’s academic or athletic – by focusing on the deed, not the doer. All kids want to do well, so if they’re not doing well, dig deep to find out why. Support them by teaching them how work gets done instead of focusing on shiny outcomes.
5. Finally, lead with lunch
Instead of asking them how they did on the Spanish test, ask them a more innocuous question, like what they had for lunch. It takes the pressure off and signals you are interested in them for reasons unrelated to their performance.
When we make home a haven from the pressure all around them, we give our kids a sturdy foundation that supports them as they reach for their goals and a soft place for them to land and recover. When we are clear in our words and actions that we love them unconditionally, our children internalize the idea that they aren’t their mistakes, that their worth is constant, never wavering – and that they matter to us no matter what.
Looking for a place to get outdoors near Easley, SC? Check out Nalley Brown Nature Park. Here’s what you can expect when you visit Nalley Brown Nature Park, plus some tips and ideas for things to do in the surrounding area from local mom, Liene.
We are blessed to have a large selection of parks and natural areas in the Upstate in which to enjoy the outdoors, from the state and county parks such as Jones Gap and Caesars Head to our urban public spaces like Lake Conestee Nature Park and the Swamp Rabbit Trail.
But what about those beautiful days when we don’t have the time to travel all the way up to the Blue Ridge but want something different from the same-old, same-old? With the approach of fall, the lure of the outdoors will take families on explorations all over the Upstate, bringing the dilemma – where to go today?
A perfect option for those days when the mountains are a little too far is Nalley Brown Nature Park. Located at 380 Adger Road, this park features almost 3 miles of trail on its 38 acres, and is only 3 miles from downtown Easley!
The park was many years in the making; Catherine Brown Ladnier donated the land in 2001, but over the past two decades the project stalled more than once and it took a push by the then-mayor of Easley Larry Bagwell to finish it before the end of his term.
Things to Do at Nalley Brown Nature Park
Trails and Loops Through Wetlands
The heart of the park is its 2.5 miles of trails; leading through scrub pine and mature hardwoods, the trail network forms two main loops that can be combined for excursions ranging everywhere from a few tenths of a mile to almost three miles. Nalley Trail is the longest trail and forms an outer loop of just under 1 ½ miles long. An inner loop, Brown Trail, is another 0.85 miles, and a wetlands trail connecting the two loops on the west side of the park adds another tenth of a mile with its boardwalk.
Pet Friendly and ADA-Accessible
Definitely bring your furbabies along to enjoy the trails, as dogs are allowed, but be sure to have them leashed for their safety. Finally, an ADA-accessible loop just off the parking area is a mile long.
Small Playground and Picnic Shelters
Adjacent to the parking area visitors will find a small pavilion and a play area with a few tunnels and climbing structures.. If you are interested in renting the shelter at Nalley Brown to enjoy a picnic, you can submit a rental request online with the City of Easley, or apply in person at the Parks and Recreation Department at 111 Walkers Way in Easley.
Please note there are no bathrooms at the park. However, Ingles is about four minutes away by car. They have bathrooms you can use (410 Pelzer Hwy, Easley, SC 29642).
History of the Nalley Brown Nature Park
The history of the property influences the forest we see today. The Nalley and Brown families farmed the property and owned it for around 150 years. From the trail, you’ll see reminders of the old farmstead: abandoned car parts here, old farming supplies there.
Damage from long-ago farming practices still scar the land, heavily eroded ravines show the result of bad farming practices, as well as more recent harm – the dumping of trash into these gullies. On the other hand, the mature beech-oak forest has towering hardwoods over a hundred years old, and the softwood forest has its own charm with the smell of pine and the thick canopy of pine needles.
The wetlands trail brings visitors down to a tributary of Eighteen Mile Creek whose waters eventually flow into Lake Hartwell. Mosses and ferns line the sides of the ravines while the occasional wildflower brings spots of color to the forest floor.
Bring a picnic to enjoy under the beautiful pavilion, or head to Easley afterward; kids love the “Train on Main” scavenger hunt. Adults might enjoy a stop at local grocery and natural market Farmacy to pick up last-minute groceries for dinner. If you are looking to cool off after your hike, check out the Saluda Outdoor Center on your way back to Greenville and go tubing down the Saluda River in Easley.
Nalley Brown Nature Park is a lovely addition to the natural spaces of the Upstate. The trails provide a hiking option close to home for those living west of Greenville. In addition, it’s a way for people to get outdoors in what is becoming an increasingly urban landscape. We hope to see additional improvements (such as restroom facilities and educational signage) in the future and look forward to seeing what the change of the seasons brings to this new park.
This article was originally published on Femme au foyer.
Are you craving some cow cuddling therapy? South Carolina has a couple of places where you can hang out with cows, but Have you heard about Moo Cow Farms? The small farm near Greenville offers the chance to get up close and personal with miniature cows so we sent Kristina and her kids to try it out. Actually, Kristina beat out all our other writers to go to the cow cuddling farm.
I saw a study not too long ago about how cuddling with cows lowers blood pressure, reduces stress, and pumps up oxytocin, the feel-good hormone released during instances of bonding in humans. The Applied Animal Behaviour Science study also indicated that mental health benefits are even stronger when humans cuddle with larger mammals – like cows. But are cows really cuddly? Some are, and we found them at Moo Cow Farms in Simpsonville, the only place in our region that offers cow cuddling and bottle feeding to calves. Let’s face it, we all need some cow cuddling therapy these days!
For more farms and petting zoos where can visit with animals near Greenville, here’s our list of Upstate, SC Petting Zoos.
About Moo Cow Farms
Moo Cow Farms was founded by Tiffany Craft, who loved cows herself and wanted to share that love with others – well, after she convinced her husband that stuffed animals and ceramic statues of cows weren’t working for her. She needed real cows. The cute, cuddly, soft ones. So she got some.
The cows at the farm in Simpsonville, SC are miniature cows and very docile and human-friendly. They are curious and loveable and interested in making friends with visitors. The cows at the farm are also one big family and all related. There are also times throughout the year where babies have arrived! One of the cows is due soon and another will have a calf in another eight or nine months. There was one baby when we visited, and more on the way.
The hands-on experience with cows
Tiffany will guide you through experiencing the cows up close when you arrive and after you sign the waiver. Your visit includes treats to give to the cows, which they really love.
Visits are scheduled ahead of time and are limited to one family or group. You must book as soon as possible, because the schedule fill up for months, but you can add yourself to a waitlist. Then the fun begins as you head to the big field where the cows live and pet and cuddle with them. If you book an evening session, you can bottle feed the baby (when one is available). It’s as cute as it sounds. Probably even more so.
When we entered the pasture, the cows immediately started walking towards us and got up in our faces to check us out. The biggest of them only came up to my chest in height but for kids, they will certainly seem pretty big. One tried to lick my phone and the baby seemed to gravitate to my kids – the littles stick together it seemed.
The cows were gentle, even when they wanted the treats we had. A couple would gently push their heads on our arms or legs and were totally cool with us petting them or using the brushes Tiffany provided to brush their hides.
My kids (ages 10 and 7) laughed and smiled and really enjoyed interacting with the animals. We had never had this kind of experience before and it was a lot of fun and definitely stress relieving, at least for me.
The cows were out in the pasture the entire time we were there but Tiffany said when it gets warmer, they like to hang out in the woods and are fine with visitors sitting next to them and just hanging out, maybe leaning against their bodies as they chill out in the shade.
When we left, I asked my kids if the experience was anything like what they thought it would be and they both said no – they weren’t expecting the cows to be so friendly and enjoyable. Big win!
Other Things to Do at Moo Cow Farms
Family Photos
Moo Cow Farms is open to anyone who wants family photos done. They’ve had a lot of people do this and really, how cute would it be to have your kids cuddled up next to cows for a Christmas card? There is no charge to do family photos, just the admission price and the cost of your photographer.
Homeschool Field Trips
The farm also does homeschool trips up to about 10 people, depending on the ages of the kids. Tiffany is a wealth of knowledge about cows. We were there for about an hour and she easily filled the time with an endless amount of fun facts about the cows. My kids are homeschooled so it was a fantastic field trip for us as we learned about how cows eat and digest food, how birthing calves happen and how long these cows are pregnant, the kind of shots that are required for good health, what happens when hooves need to be trimmed. There’s a lot to learn about cows apparently.
Booking your cow cuddling experience
Moo Cow Farms is open to anyone of any age. Parents need to watch their kids though and everyone will be given a brief safety lesson before meeting the herd. But this is such a cool experience that I think most people would really enjoy it, no matter their age. Be sure to wear boots or sneakers, not sandals, and long pants. It’s a pasture so there are bugs and cow poop.
You can visit the Moo Cow Farms website and ask for a specific date and time or email Tiffany at info@moocowfarms.com. They are booked at least two to three months out so get on the waiting list or keep an eye on their website when slots open up.
Prices are $12/person ages 3+ and include one treat bag. Kids under 3 years old are free. You must prepay for your appointment. Add-ons include a bottle to feed the baby (if a baby is available) for a small fee. Most people stay for an hour to an hour and a half. Time goes by fast when you are relaxing with the cows!
I’d certainly recommend this experience to anyone looking for a unique adventure, to chill out for an hour, or for a wonderful homeschool field trip.
Moo Cow Farms The corner of Mosley Rd and E Standing Springs Road, Simpsonville
More farms to explore
Moo Cow Farms: Enjoy Some Much Needed Cow Cuddling Therapy near Greenville, SC
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In this post, we’ll share a simple and delicious Refreshing Jeera Buttermilk for Kids. Whether you’re looking to introduce your little ones to new flavors or just need a quick and healthy drink option, jeera buttermilk is sure to become a family favorite. Here is how to make this refreshing drink at home!
Health Benefits of Jeera Butter milk
Hydration: Buttermilk is an excellent source of hydration, especially in hot weather. It helps to keep kids cool and replenishes lost fluids.
Digestive Aid: Cumin (jeera) is well-known for its digestive properties. It helps to stimulate the production of digestive enzymes, which can aid in digestion and prevent common issues like bloating and gas in children.
Rich in Probiotics: Buttermilk is a natural probiotic, which means it contains beneficial bacteria that promote gut health. A healthy gut can enhance the immune system and improve overall digestion.
Calcium and Protein: Buttermilk is a good source of calcium and protein, both of which are essential for growing children. Calcium supports strong bones and teeth, while protein is crucial for growth and development.
Boosts Immunity: The probiotics in buttermilk, along with the antimicrobial properties of cumin, can help boost the immune system, making children more resilient to common infections.
Cooling Effect: Jeera buttermilk has a natural cooling effect on the body, making it an ideal drink to combat the heat and prevent heat-related issues like heatstroke.
Rich in Vitamins and Minerals: Buttermilk contains essential vitamins and minerals, including B vitamins, potassium, and phosphorus, which support overall health and energy levels in kids.
Easy on the Stomach: Buttermilk is easier to digest than regular milk, making it suitable for children who may be lactose intolerant or have sensitive stomachs.
Improves Appetite: The digestive benefits of cumin can also help improve appetite in children, ensuring they get the nutrition they need.
Roast 1 teaspoon of jeera (cumin seeds) in a pan until aromatic.
2. Crush the roasted jeera in a grinder or with a pestle and mortar.
3. Use a mixer to blend everything well until the jeera and salt are fully incorporated.
4. Pour into glasses and serve immediately. Enjoy your refreshing jeera buttermilk!
Incorporating jeera buttermilk into your child’s diet can provide these numerous health benefits while keeping them refreshed and satisfied. It’s a tasty and nutritious option that’s perfect for hot summer days or as a regular part of their balanced diet.
Enjoy your homemade jeera buttermilk, a refreshing and healthy drink perfect for keeping kids hydrated and cool. This simple yet flavorful beverage not only quenches thirst but also aids digestion and provides essential nutrients. Serve it chilled and watch your little ones enjoy this traditional and nutritious treat. Cheers to happy and healthy hydration!
Frequently Asked Questions
How long can I store jeera buttermilk?
It’s best to consume jeera buttermilk fresh.
Is jeera buttermilk good for all ages?
It’s a healthy and refreshing drink that can be enjoyed by both kids and adults.
Can I add other spices to the jeera buttermilk?
Absolutely! You can add a pinch of black salt and finely chopped mint leaves for extra flavor.
Can I make jeera buttermilk without salt?
Yes, jeera buttermilk can be made without salt.
Refreshing Jeera Buttermilk for Kids
In this post, we'll share a simple and delicious Refreshing Jeera Buttermilk for Kids. Let's dive in and how to make this refreshing drink at home!
More than half of adults with ADHD prefer to keep their diagnosis to themselves, according to a recent Understood.org survey of 2,100 adults conducted online by The Harris Poll. However, an even more concerning pattern emerges when we break down the results by gender: 66% of young women (ages 18–34) prefer to stay silent compared to 42% of young men with ADHD.
Why Women with ADHD Don’t Disclose Their Diagnosis
In part, the survey results suggest that women with ADHD are perceived differently than are men with ADHD — a finding that more than half of survey respondents (three-quarters of whom were women) agree to be true.
We know that self-stigma is a key barrier to seeking professional support. (Footnote 1) While the survey’s findings relate to ADHD specifically, they speak to a larger societal phenomenon: Individuals internalize public stigma, e.g., stereotypes, prejudice, and discriminatory attitudes endorsed by the public. We see examples of internalized public sigma across women’s mental and general health, including their ADHD diagnosis.
Although men and women are just as likely to have learning and thinking differences, girls with ADHD are diagnosed as often as boys. (Footnote 2) Many women receive their ADHD diagnoses in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. When a woman is diagnosed with ADHD later in life, she’s likely spent decades struggling without understanding why. A late-in-life diagnosis may be the route of frustration, self-doubt, and anxiety.
Researchers have primarily based assessment tools on studies of boys and they do not norm for female populations. Gender bias built into testing instruments is one of the biggest reasons women and girls with ADHD may go undiagnosed, something 87% of survey respondents acknowledged, the survey revealed.
Women diagnosed with ADHD later in life often express how they made efforts and investments to get answers, but providers routinely dismissed their concerns as “hormones,” “mom brain,” or “lack of self-care.” Many received diagnoses of depression or anxiety instead of ADHD.
They finally got an accurate diagnosis after enduring years of unsuccessful treatments — along with blame for non-compliance. The experience of having their providers meet their initial concerns with disbelief, in a sense, trained women not to disclose.
Many women develop the core belief that “there’s something wrong with me.” And this doesn’t change overnight. Often, women need time, support, and community to learn how to voice their newly learned diagnosis in a way that feels right to them.
Choosing not to disclose an ADHD diagnosis is a logical response to stigma, bias, and backlash. Half of the adults surveyed believe that the negative stigma surrounding neurodiversity is stronger now than ever before. Among respondents with learning and thinking differences, 59% worry that disclosing their diagnosis would negatively impact their careers. Nearly 1 in 4 respondents who requested workplace accommodations said they lost their jobs or got demoted after asking. In that kind of workplace culture, it’s no surprise that people stay silent.
The culture that too often makes silence the best option for women must shift. The solution to silence is not as simple as telling women to “speak up” at work. We need to create a culture that places women’s voices and needs at the core. We need to raise awareness and challenge the stigma around neurodivergence (particularly ADHD and dyslexia) for women. We need better resources, awareness, and action, to start the shift toward progress.
Here are a few steps individuals, providers, and employers can take to create a more inclusive culture:
Learn: Patients, employers, and providers need to let go of old assumptions and dial up their curiosity because the information about ADHD has historically been based on homogeneous, primarily male experiences. Even among the most knowledgeable, there’s still much to learn and unlearn.
Embrace the gray: Disclosure isn’t “on” or “off.” You don’t need to share your diagnosis with everyone. You get to choose who, when, and how much you share.
Listen: Often people don’t speak up because when they do, they aren’t heard or understood. For providers, this means actively listening to clients and patients. Employers need to actively listen to employees and take their concerns and requests seriously. Individuals need to listen to their inner voice without judgment.
Inclusive Culture: Next Steps
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Have you heard about the Blue Ridge Snorkel Trail? If your family loves enjoying the outdoors, you’ll want to check out this trail. It’s full of places where families can explore the mountain rivers in North Carolina.
You’ve probably heard of BBQ or brewery trails (mapped-out routes with curated stops for food & drink), but NC has a snorkel trail! For parents with small kids who are looking for safe places to get in a river (easy access, high water quality & safe water volume), the Blue Ridge Snorkel Trail has a variety of locations to explore the underwater world in our mountain rivers. We recently visited the Mills River snorkel site and had a blast looking for crayfish, mussels & different fish species!!!
First stop, Blue Ridge Snorkle Trail Website. There is a map to find the snorkel trail locations closest to you, as well as learn about the different wildlife that are native at that particular site. Inclusion within the snorkel trail means there is parking available and that the river access is public, and restrooms and other conveniences are often available.
You don’t need a whole lot of fancy equipment either. A mask, snorkel, and water shoes are the basics, and flippers, floaties, or a life jacket are possible extras. We’ve had the opportunity to use underwater viewers, and although they can get pricey, they offer an excellent alternative for a child who doesn’t wear a snorkel or a parent who wants to share the view. In the summer I often keep towels & dry clothes in the car, and the usual essentials – water, snacks, sun protection – will go a long way to keeping the crew happy.
We’ve visited several sites, but the two we frequent the most are the Tuckasegee and Mills River sites. If you would like to get more involved, the local conservation organizations often host river cleanups and educational programs; the websites of Conserving Carolina, mountaintrue, and Mills River Partnership are a great place to start for those particular locations.
To get a little taste of what a visit to one of the Blue Ridge Snorkel Trail sites, check out this Ingles Open Road video on the Little Tennessee River at Queen Branch Preserve location!
Remember:
Never snorkel alone Don’t move rocks around as they provide shelter to our native species Practice LNT and help keep our banks and waters clean Be aware that rocks are often slick, and know your limits regarding water depth & current
In this 15-minute People video, actor Colin Farrell describes the joys and challenges of raising his son James, 20, who has Angelman syndrome. He also announces his new foundation for adults with intellectual disabilities. It will focus on advocacy, create housing and day programs, improve conditions for support workers, and open a camp for children and adults and their families. The video is a must watch!
It wasn’t very long into my teens’ high school years that I realized a few things. Not only did they have no interest in going to college (something their father and I always assumed they’d do because we did), they didn’t care about their grades, or schooling in general.
I was frustrated. And to say we had some trying times during their high school years is an understatement, but we did the best we could. After I accepted the fact that they were fine with just passing and getting out of school as soon as they could so they could pursue the things they wanted to do, everything changed.
I finally learned to focus on my teens’ NON-ACADEMIC achievements which made us all happier. (Shutterstock Chay_Tee)
Instead of focusing on grades I celebrated other things about my teens
Instead of focusing on their grades, I celebrated other wins in my children’s’ lives, and our relationships changed for the better. My son would come home from school and go to his part time job, determined to save up for a car in one summer, which he did. In fact, my son was so motivated by that milestone, he started working for his father to learn the plumbing trade so he could take over the business one day. He was sixteen, had clear goals, and none of those goals involved going to college or earning academic awards.
I noticed the more I praised and encouraged my son for his working achievements, the more independent he became. Before I knew it, he was going out and doing things with his own money like getting his haircut, joining a gym, buying parts for his car and teaching himself how to fix it. But the most important thing was that he was happy.
Instead of nagging my son about schoolwork I praised him for the things he enjoyed doing
Instead of nagging him that he should be spending more time doing school work and less time working and fiddling with his car, I praised him for being independent, for figuring things out, and for not being afraid to tackle a problem. I watched his confidence rise, and when something came up around the house, like a broken appliance, he’d calm me down and remind me we could probably figure it out together.
Now my son is almost twenty-one, and a few months ago after a bad storm hit, he came over and fixed my fence that had blown down. He takes care of the lawn and does the snow removal. If his tires need changing, he changes them.
When my washing machine broke, he figured out how to fix it. He’s saved a ton of money from working hard, and just got his Journeyman’s license. He’s never late for work, picks up overtime, and if friends or relatives need help around their house, he’s there to help them.
My relationship with my son is much better since I stopped nagging him about college
And I always tell him how amazing it is to have these skills and talents, because I truly believe it is. But I also believe that had I continued fighting with him about studying harder, or demanded that he go to college to follow some dream that was never his, our relationship wouldn’t be as great as it is today.
If I hadn’t started to recognize that the non-academic things he did for himself, for me, and for others, were just as worthy of praise, who knows if he would have believed it himself? And if he didn’t believe that the things he could offer were just as good as good grades or going to college, where would he be right now? How would he feel about himself?
My younger kids saw my parenting evolve as my son grew up
My two younger kids watched our evolution. They saw their brother hating school and struggling, they witnessed us fighting. Then they saw me change my attitude once I realized that my son has a lot more to offer than I was giving him credit for. I believe that that gave my younger children the confidence to explore what they really wanted to do because they knew it was just as important and just as valued as going to college.
My daughter took a year off after high school, worked, and decided she wanted to become a licensed esthetician and is a month away from graduating. She followed her true passion and is so excited about her future.
My youngest also took his own path, graduated high school a year early, and is moving to Hawaii to work on an organic farm in January.
None of my kids wanted the life I chose for myself
None of my kids wanted the life that I chose for myself. No college, no corporate job, not trying to make the honor roll. They didn’t care about grades, and even though I know this might unpopular, I stopped caring about their grades too.
I’m so glad I didn’t push them or make them feel like they had to fit into a certain box to be successful. Because the skills and independence my kids have is what makes them truly happy. And to me, that’s the true definition of freedom.
Are you looking for a plant store in Greenville, SC? The Upstate area is full of local plant stores and pop-up plant stores where you can find some seriously cool plants for sale, and usually a side of instruction if you’re not so sure how to care for your new botanical bestie. We have some plant care tips for you, plus a list of local plant shops near Greenville that you’ll want to check out.
The last decade has seen a boom in the popularity of houseplants. Yes, house plants. All kinds of houseplants. They help purify the air while also adding some much-needed nature vibes to the indoors of our homes. Not to mention the many varigations and unique indoor plants available, with many that are low maintenance (I’m talking about you pothos)!
This phenomenon, spurred on by Instagram and other social media platforms, has given birth to plant boutiques that are popping up all over town. Most of these locations are multi-functional spaces that offer more than just plants! Whether it be coffee, Filipino snacks, yoga sessions, or plant workshops, this new breed of retail space deserves your attention if you have a green thumb! If not, they can help you with that too!
Tips Before You Buy That Plant
There are a few things to take into consideration before you invest in a plant. Yes. I said invest. One of the pitfalls of popularity is that things get expensive. I’ve seen clippings of one of the most popular plants being sold for $120 apiece. A clipping, with no roots, and you have to propagate it in water, and then plant it. And, yes, they were being snatched up at that price. So, before you go and spend all that money on a plant, you’ll need to make sure you can provide it the home it needs. Unfortunately, love isn’t always enough.
Figure out your sunlight situation. Plants that need a lot of light, obviously won’t thrive if your home interior doesn’t have a good source of sunlight. Make sure your plant can thrive in the lighting your home can provide.
Monstera plants and Swiss Cheese plants are the most sought-after for the trendy plant collector. They can get expensive, so a little research could help guarantee their survival. Beware, if you also have pets, as both of these are toxic to animals.
Speaking of pets, if your plant will be indoors and accessible by your pets, it’s a good idea to check and make sure you know if they are a danger to your pets. Plants Toxic to Dogs / Plants Toxic to Cats
Don’t underwater your plant, but definitely don’t overwater it! It’s confusing, I know. But it’s easier for plants to recover from slight under-watering than overwatering. Make sure you have drainage holes in your pot, and a saucer to catch the overflow. If maintaining that right moisture level for your plant is proving tricky, there are small moisture gauges you can purchase to stick in the dirt. There are also apps that will remind you when to water based on the kind of plant(s) you have!
Cool Places To Get Plants Near Greenville, SC
Savereign | 1256 Pendleton Street -Suite B, Greenville
If a unique plant-buying experience is what you are seeking, then this is the shop you NEED. Their Instagram feed looks like what would happen if Hollister and the garden department had a glorious baby.
Open since May of this year, Sun and Soil Plant Parlor has become the spot to grab some impromptu selfies, while grabbing a plant or two. This plant shop invites people to come and hang out in the space they’ve lovingly created.
Plant Stella | 651 South Main Street, Greenville & Inside Haywood Mall
Plant Stella offers locations in Downtown Greenville as well as in the Haywood Mall on the ground level, right near the Macy’s entrance. They have a variety of rare and unique indoor houseplants, gorgeous planters, and more that will elevate your current plant collection to the next level!
This amazing coffee shop/plant boutique has a loyal fan base within our readership! They are located right up the street from another local favorite of ours – Big Ben’s Desserts! So you can head to Lyman, grab a plant, coffee & some cupcakes the next time you want to cheer yourself or someone you love up.
Botanical Brew! They have great coffee and a huge assortment of plants. If you don’t see what you’re looking for, ask. They will order it! Owners are wonderful people. Great local spot.
Samantha Chaffin
Porchview Plants
Pop-Up and Online Plant Shops In Greenville & Spartanburg, SC
Here are popular plant vendors that frequent local farmers’ markets, open-air markets, and other vendor events. You can also arrange pick-up sales with most.
A chance encounter at a local market pop-up planted a seed of plant interest for my son. Caleb & Tiffany were so patient with him and offered tons of tips.
Based in Atlanta, this shop isn’t local, I know. I first discovered them when they did a pop-up at a local plant shop. Varnish + Vine sells beautiful cactus cuttings by the foot. They regularly come to Greenville and set up at Savereign. You can also shop the Varnish + Vine website, and have the cactus shipped to you.
You have to check out Soaky Mountain Waterpark the next time you visit Eastern Tennessee! The park is right outside of Gatlinburg and we have all the details. Kristina took her kids to Soaky Mountain and shares her Soaky Mountain Waterpark review and tips on how best to enjoy it with your family so you can plan your own visit to Soaky Mountain Waterpark.
Media tickets were provided for this review.
I love a good waterpark with lots of thrills and excitement and cool water on a hot day. This is exactly what Soaky Mountain in Sevierville, TN, less than three hours from the Upstate, delivers.
The waterpark opened in 2020, cost $90 million to build, and employs 500 people, so it was a great boost to the local economy. It’s located directly across the street from Wilderness at the Smokies, which is a great resort to stay at. You can buy discounted tickets to Soaky Mountain if you stay there.
Attractions at Soaky Mountain Waterpark
The 50-acre park has some serious waterslides and play areas. Our favorite ride was the head-first, mat racing slide. We must have ridden that one six or seven times. It was a blast! The 35,000 square foot wave pool was a lot of fun because the waves truly mimic those at the ocean – but no sharks or jellyfish or weird ocean animals. Big win. The pool is able to generate waves up to six feet high.
Rides We Loved
My kids (ages 10 and 6) loved The Hive, a multi-story water playground with several age-appropriate slides for kids, although lots of adults were playing with their kids on it.
The ride we went for first was Rainbow’s Revenge, a huge, multi-passenger raft ride through a bright, colorful, and semi-fast tube. That one was a blast and getting in line early made it a fun start to the day.
After that adventure, we hit the Avalaunch, which the waterpark describes as “a first-of-its-kind water coaster with four flying saucer features that create a drop-and-dive sensation and one wave curved wall.” I can confirm that is quite a sensational ride. I did it twice and had adrenaline pumping the rest of the day. Awesome.
After that, we basically tried to do everything that my youngest, at about 46”, was tall enough to do, which was almost every ride. The faster rides have a height requirement of 48”.
We hit the lazy river – which turns into a big wave river for certain time blocks during the day, the copperhead and rattle tail snake tube rides, the wave pool, and lots of slides at The Hive playground area. We passed the smaller kids’ play area with several waterslides and water features with a zero-entry pool. It looked like the kids were having a lot of fun with their parents.
One of the things we weren’t able to get to was the water obstacle course, kind of like the show Wipeout except most of the kids were able to stay on the course. It looked so fun!
For a list of all the rides, watercoasters, slides, and height and weight requirements, see the Soaky Mountain website.
Food at Soaky Mountain Waterpark
There are no shortage of food options at Soaky Mountain. Here’s a list of all eateries available at Soaky Mountain, which include a taco truck, frozen yogurt shop, and several snack bars serving nachos, pretzels, popcorn, hot dogs, novelty ice cream, cookies, fresh-squeezed lemonade, bottled water, Icees and fountain drinks. No alcohol is sold there.
Guests are allowed reentry with their daily ticket if they’d like to bring lunch and eat it outside the park. Outside food and drink are not allowed except for a sealed water bottle.
Cabanas
Cabana rentals start at $69.99 for a two-person rental and go up to $399.99 for a 20-person rental. These are private shelters around the park that include access to a server and a limited menu (food and beverages are extra).
I saw a lot of families utilizing these. They are great as a home base to relax, eat, rest, change diapers, etc. And you rent them by the day.
New Rides
In 2022, Soaky Mountain introduced The Edge, a first-of-its-kind water coaster that spans two football fields in length and rises 70 feet in the air. If you love thrill rides, this is it.
On our second visit to Soaky Mountain in 2023, my family road The Edge and oh my gosh, it was unreal. I screamed my head off because immediately you are sent into a stomach-churning drop, then launched into tubes with AquaLucent light rings, then another drop, then speed into more tubes with more lights.
The final, three-story drop sends you high up on a near-vertical launch on the Boomerango wall. I was terrified and wanted to do it all over again.
The park also added more than 1,000 seats plus new umbrellas around the park and the expansion of two decks. Even though the park was packed when we went, we had no issues finding seats when we wanted them.
Tips For Visiting Soaky Mountain
1. Get there early: While the park wasn’t packed when we went on a summer Tuesday, we had a lot fewer wait times earlier in the day for rides. They open at 11 am during the week, and 10 am on weekends. The second time we went was on a really hot summer Saturday in July, typically one of the busiest months of the year for the area, and got there early afternoon. We didn’t have to wait too long for anything, which was awesome.
2. Grab a locker: If you’re bringing in a towel, extra clothes, your wallet, etc., a locker (the smallest are $13 for the day), definitely get a locker.
3. You may not need water shoes: Several waterslides require no shoes so we just ended up putting our shoes in our locker and didn’t find the ground too hot. In some places, I’d definitely recommend wearing sandals or some kind of water shoes, but I didn’t find it necessary here.
4. Prepare to climb stairs: Our favorite mat waterslide ride and lots of the tube slides had a lot of stairs you needed to climb to get to the top of the slide. I don’t mind a good workout but if you need to stop and take a breather, do it. The mat tube ride had about 100 steps and we did it six times. My legs hurt the next day but it was worth it.
Soaky Mountain Tickets
A one-day ticket online for adults (over 42”) is $49.99 and tickets for kids under 42” are $41.99. Ages 2 and under are free. Season passes are $109.99 a person. If you go after 4 pm, tickets are $39.99.
If you stay at Wilderness at the Smokies resort across the street, you can purchase discounted tickets or even get them for free during some specials. A season pass also includes discounted rooms at Wilderness at the Smokies.
Parking is $14.75/car when bought online and $19.25/buses and RVs. If you’re paying at the gate, it costs around $20/car.
Hours vary so look at the Soaky Mountain Waterpark calendar to see updated hours before you go. They are open mid-May through August and with select dates in September weather permitting.
Want to introduce your family to the culture of India? If you have never been to the India Day near Greenville, SC, you will not want to miss this year’s celebration.
On Saturday, August 24th, 2024, the India Association of Greenville hosts its annual India Day and celebrates the India Independence Day. All activities are FREE. The event starts at 9 AM and goes until 10 PM.
Image credit: India Association of Greenville
Something for Everyone at India Day
India Day features several family-friendly
events and activities, including:
Interactive cultural exhibits
Open mat yoga
Vendors of Indian arts, spices, clothing, and other items
Cultural dance shows
Parade
Live Indian music
Indian food
Bollywood Dance Party at 7:00 PM
And more!
Indians Enrich the Cultural Fabric of the Upstate
According to the Migration Policy Institute and US Census Bureau, Indians are one of the largest immigrant populations in the United States with more than one million Indian-born immigrants in the United States. The Upstate is home to more than 3,000 Indian immigrants. According to Tellur, this celebration is a lot of fun for kids and also allows locals to learn more about India: “For second-generation Indian immigrant children, this celebration gives them a chance to connect to their roots, know their culture, understand the importance of Indian independence, and see the similarities of Indian and US independence. And for everyone, events like this give us a chance to raise understanding about India’s democracy and its diversity. People are usually surprised by how diverse it is!”
India is home to more than a billion people and includes 29 states, 24 recognized languages, and several religions, including Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, and Sikhism. India is also the most populous democracy in the world. One member of the IAG and a past organizer of this event Neelu Matai explains that India Day highlights these unique cultural aspects of India, but it also brings everyone together, regardless of where they are from. “This is really about getting to know and celebrate India,” explains Matai.
This event is held in August to dovetail with Indian Independence Day which is celebrated annually on August 15. It commemorates India’s independence from the United Kingdom in 1947, just 77 years ago.
Learn more
To learn more about India Day, visit the India Association of Greenville website. We recommend monitoring the India Association of Greenville’s social media accounts in case of rain and alterations to the events schedule.
Teenagers can get up to a lot of trouble. Their brains aren’t fully developed (even though they think they are) and they make decisions that can have life-long repercussions, often because they feel like they’re invincible. Or they’re trying to rebel. Or because of a myriad of different reasons. But far too many teenagers start drinking alcohol, many of them heavily, some even getting addicted. If you’re in the situation where one of your children is dealing with alcohol addiction, or any other member, here is how you can support your loved one and help them get better and live a safer substance abuse free life.
Supporting a loved one through recovery from alcohol addiction requires understanding, patience, and committed assistance from family and friends. This guide introduces potential new treatments that could help those grappling with alcohol dependency and offers practical tips on how families can provide effective support.
As we examine these innovative approaches, remember that empathy and informed support are your most powerful tools. From emerging medications to therapeutic practices, understanding these options will equip you with the knowledge needed to assist your loved one as they work toward recovery. Let’s explore how these treatments can be integrated into a supportive framework that fosters healing and resilience.
Understanding Alcohol Addiction
Alcohol addiction is more than a craving. It’s a complex condition where individuals compulsively drink despite negative consequences. Recognizing this as a medical issue, not a moral failure, is crucial for effective intervention.
By understanding addiction as a disease, you can help your loved one approach recovery with the seriousness it demands. Encouraging them to get started with professional help is a critical step, ensuring they receive the comprehensive care needed to manage this challenging condition.
The Importance of Family Support
Family support is vital in the recovery process. When you stand by your loved one with a steadfast commitment to their well-being, it bolsters their morale and strengthens their resolve to heal. Your unwavering presence provides a sense of security and encouragement, which are crucial as they navigate the ups and downs of overcoming addiction.
Exploring Emerging Treatments for Alcohol Addiction
Research in addiction science is continually evolving, leading to the development of innovative treatments that hold promise for those struggling with alcohol dependency. Here’s a closer look at some of the most promising avenues:
Medication-Assisted Treatment
Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT) involves using medications approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in combination with counseling and behavioral therapies to treat substance use disorders. For alcohol addiction specifically, there are several promising medications being tested that could potentially enhance recovery outcomes:
Nalmefene
An opioid antagonist, nalmefene is designed to reduce the urge to drink rather than treat withdrawal symptoms. Research, including a 2021 study published in the medical journal Alcohol and Alcoholism, has shown that nalmefene effectively reduces alcohol consumption and instances of heavy drinking in patients with alcohol dependence.
Gabapentin
Originally used for the treatment of epilepsy, gabapentin has shown potential in treating alcohol dependence. A study published in JAMA Internal Medicine found that gabapentin significantly helped patients with alcohol dependence reduce their alcohol consumption and increase their abstinent days.
Baclofen
A muscle relaxant and an antispastic agent, baclofen has been the subject of various studies for alcohol addiction treatment. Research, including a 2024 study from Alcohol and Alcoholism, indicates that tailored doses of baclofen can be effective in treating alcohol use disorder. However, careful monitoring by physicians is crucial to prevent any negative side effects.
Topiramate
Topiramate, although not FDA-approved for alcohol use disorder, has been found to help those dealing with alcohol dependence. Clinical studies have shown that topiramate treatment significantly reduces the number of drinking days and heavy drinking days. However, it can cause some side effects, including cognitive dysfunction, dizziness, and numbness or tingling.
These medications represent a targeted approach to managing alcohol addiction, offering new hope for those seeking help. While promising, these treatments should be considered part of an integrated treatment plan that includes psychological support and lifestyle changes, and always under the supervision of a healthcare professional.
Digital Tools for Recovery
Technology plays a vital role in supporting individuals in their recovery from alcohol addiction. Various digital tools offer valuable support alongside traditional treatment methods. These tools help monitor progress, provide easy access to support groups, and deliver therapeutic interventions, enhancing the overall recovery process.
Sobriety Tracking Apps
These apps help users monitor their sobriety milestones, such as days sober and money saved from not purchasing alcohol. By providing clear indicators of progress, these apps offer continual motivation and a sense of accomplishment, which can be crucial during the recovery process.
Virtual Support Groups
Online platforms facilitate virtual meetings where individuals can share experiences and offer support to each other from anywhere in the world. This accessibility ensures that help and community support are available anytime, which is especially beneficial for those who may have limited access to in-person groups.
Digital Therapeutics
Emerging as a new category in recovery tools, digital therapeutics deliver structured therapeutic interventions directly through smartphones or computers. These programs often use principles of cognitive behavioral therapy to help users manage alcohol cravings, reduce stress, and cope with the triggers of addiction.
Online Therapy Services
These services connect users with licensed therapists through text, audio, or video communications. Tailored for convenience and privacy, online therapy can address the psychological aspects of addiction, including any underlying mental health conditions that contribute to substance use.
These digital tools are invaluable for anyone dealing with the challenges of recovery. By providing flexible and accessible resources, they empower individuals to stay committed to their recovery goals and maintain the support networks essential for long-term success.
Biofeedback Therapy
Biofeedback therapy is an innovative approach that enables individuals to gain better control over involuntary bodily processes such as heart rate and muscle tension. This method uses electronic devices that provide real-time feedback, helping users learn to make subtle changes in their bodies that lead to desired outcomes. By increasing self-awareness and control, biofeedback has shown potential in managing a range of conditions.
In the context of alcohol addiction recovery, biofeedback is particularly valuable for managing stress and anxiety—common triggers that can lead to cravings and relapse. Through regular sessions, individuals learn to calm their mind and body, reducing the urge to drink as a coping mechanism. This technique fosters relaxation and emotional balance, which are essential for sustained recovery.
While biofeedback is not new, it has gained recognition as a complementary treatment for alcohol dependence. As research continues, it’s increasingly integrated into holistic treatment programs that address both mental and physical aspects of addiction. Its non-invasive nature and focus on self-regulation make biofeedback an appealing supplementary method to traditional therapies.
Genetic Testing and Personalized Medicine
Genetic testing is emerging as a valuable approach in the treatment of alcohol dependence. By identifying specific genetic markers, researchers can determine an individual’s susceptibility to addiction. This insight enables the development of personalized treatment plans tailored to each person’s unique genetic profile, allowing treatments to be more effectively aligned with the biological aspects of addiction.
This personalized approach is considered a new and promising direction in addiction treatment. It moves away from a one-size-fits-all strategy to a more targeted method, offering potential for improved outcomes. As the field of genetic research advances, personalized medicine is increasingly recognized as a practical approach to effective addiction therapy, making treatments more responsive and potentially more successful over time.
As we continue to explore these emerging treatments for alcohol addiction, it’s important to understand their benefits and limitations. Integrating these innovative strategies into a care plan can offer more targeted support, enhancing the potential for recovery.
Complementary Approaches to Enhance Alcohol Recovery
In addition to exploring new medical treatments, complementary approaches play a crucial role in supporting the recovery process from alcohol addiction. These techniques include:
Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindfulness techniques are increasingly recognized for their benefits in managing addiction. Meditation reduces stress and improves mental clarity while equipping individuals with the tools to resist urges to drink. This fosters a sense of peace and emotional stability that supports recovery efforts.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT, a staple in addiction treatment, continues to evolve. It empowers individuals to identify and transform negative thought patterns and behaviors associated with addiction. Enhanced CBT techniques are being developed to be more adaptable and effective in addressing the complexities of alcohol dependence.
Herbal Remedies and Supplements
Emerging research suggests that certain herbs and supplements might aid in managing withdrawal symptoms and reducing cravings. These natural alternatives can complement conventional treatments, though it’s vital to consult healthcare providers before starting any new regimen to ensure safety and compatibility with existing treatments.
Exercise Programs
Regular physical activity is more than just a lifestyle choice; it’s a therapeutic tool in recovery. Exercise can significantly boost mood, reduce anxiety, and help alleviate triggers for alcohol use, providing a healthy outlet for stress and frustration.
These complementary approaches are integral to a holistic recovery strategy, enhancing traditional treatments with supportive therapies and lifestyle changes. By incorporating these methods, individuals in recovery can access a broader range of resources tailored to support their journey toward wellness.
Supporting Your Loved One
Supporting someone with an alcohol addiction involves more than understanding potential treatments—it’s about providing a stable environment that promotes sobriety.
Be Informed
Understand the signs of alcohol misuse and the basics of addiction. This knowledge can help you provide informed support.
Communicate Effectively
Speak openly with your loved one. Express concern without judgment and encourage them to share their challenges and successes.
Encourage Treatment
Support their efforts to seek and continue treatment. Recognize that recovery is a long process, often with setbacks.
Take Care of Yourself
Supporting someone in recovery can be draining. Ensure you also take time for your own health and well-being. Set Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries is crucial for both your well-being and that of your loved one. Define what you are and aren’t willing to accept in their behavior.
By implementing these strategies, you can support your loved one’s recovery while maintaining your own well-being.
Final Thoughts
Recovery from alcohol addiction presents challenges that extend beyond the individual to touch the entire family. By staying updated on new treatment options and offering unwavering support, you can significantly influence your loved one’s progress towards recovery.
It’s important to recognize that while the path to recovery is often long and winding, every small step forward is a crucial win. Your support is more than valuable—it’s literally life-changing.
The late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who fought fiercely for women’s rights, was steadfast in her belief that women and men should have an equal stake in raising kids. This, she was quick to point out, is integral to ensuring gender equality.
“Women will have achieved true equality when men share with them the responsibility of bringing up the next generation,” she said.
“Justice Ginsburg was before her time,” Dr. Julie Graves, a family medicine and public health physician, told me. “RBG often spoke about her experience balancing law school and teaching while raising her children.” Having a supportive husband allowed, in part, for Justice Ginsburg’s extraordinary success.
The pandemic brought the differences in responsibility at home into sharper focus. Men stepped up. Mothers and fathers of school-age kids had to adjust to helping children with e-learning and being together 24/7. Nonetheless, the changes in parents’ work hours resulting from increased caregiving responsibilities disproportionately affected women. When schools and daycares closed because of COVID-19, mothers with young children reduced their work hours at four to five times the rate as fathers.
Few will argue that most men helped more than usual during the pandemic. But how much and whether enough to overcome the still glaring gender gap in household workload is another story. “Even when progress is reported, the progress is slow and doesn’t convince us that we will eventually reach equality,” Francine Deutsch and Ruth Gaunt write in their book, Gender Equality at Home.
One sign that change could last comes through in the data on dads who take paternity leave. This group is more likely to be engaged with their children and they take on more childcare and housekeeping responsibilities. Children of these fathers are also more likely to perceive increased parent-child closeness.
However, when Spain introduced paid paternity leave, the fathers who took it and were active caregivers for their newborns wanted fewer children, and if they had more children, they took longer to have them—six years or more. The researchers surmise the change of heart was caused by their “increased involvement in childcare.”
For many if not most women in heterosexual relationships, holding out hope a partner will equitably share in early childcare and stay involved with household chores throughout a child’s growing up years may be unrealistic, particularly if both spouses work full-time. Generally, moms still do more planning and cope with more emotional stress.
“The fundamental time constraint is to negotiate who will be on call at home—that is, who will leave the office and be at home in a pinch,” states Claudia Goldin, a labor economist at Harvard University.
Among the parents I spoke with as part of the Only Child Research Project, fathers’ help was a mixed bag—some didn’t do much, others were super involved from day one.
Examining family-related responsibilities, a recent study indicates that men tend toreturn to their old ways. The investigators looked at participation at different ages—at age 25, 32, 43 and 50—challenging earlier studies that claimed a decline in women’s contributions to household duties. They found that “when women were raising children, they contributed more than average to housework, and when men were raising children, they contributed less than they normally did to household chores.”
The study’s authors believe that “parenthood serves to reinforce traditionally gendered roles and behaviors.” We seem to be slipping back into old, typical roles of yesteryear. The changes they saw at specific ages “suggest the gendered gap in housework remains stubbornly stable and is further exacerbated during times when raising children.”
Perhaps fathers should start asking their partners what chores and tasks they can take on at home. A simple “How can I help?” just might help families realize, again, the benefits many experienced when men were home during the pandemic—and result in a fairer split in domestic tasks.
Trying to make time to spend one-on-one with your kids and need some ways to make it special? KAG Contributor and mom of two girls, Kristina, has some ideas.
I think most parents can agree that time flies when their kids are growing up. Maybe not in those first months (or years) when sleep is non-existent and the constant routine of sleep-eat-poop is all kids do but certainly once parents regain consciousness and babies start not being babies anymore, they can tell time is flying.
How do you really make the most of the years you have with your kids?
I think about this a lot, for reasons I’ll tell you about shortly, and have found a few things that have strengthened my relationship with my children.
Taking my kids on dates
One-on-one time is so special with my two children, ages 11 and 7. I do a lot with them together but getting time just with each of them and myself is truly special.
To make it happen, I have to be pretty creative because it’s not easy to get that time between my husband’s schedule and my own. During his less busy times of the year, I try to give him a heads-up that I want to take my kids out just one of them and myself so he can also think about doing something with the other one. I’ll ask each of my kids what they want to do (within reason) and then plan it out. This is usually pretty simple honestly. For my one daughter over the summer, she wanted to walk around in downtown Greenville and get bubble tea so that’s what we did. It was so much fun and we got to just stroll and sit on the benches downtown and talk and go to M. Judson’s bookstore and browse the books and cute gifts.
My husband has had a tradition of taking our oldest daughter to see the Jurassic Park and Star Wars movies every year when they come out, usually over the summer. It’s something special to them that I think is really sweet and great to share together.
Vacation Dates
Sometimes finding the hour or two during regular life to take my daughters on a special date is hard but when my family goes on vacation, it’s way easier! One year we went to Hilton Head as a family and I took each of my daughters separately on a kayak and paddleboard tour in the salt marshes. It was such a blast!
Another time, I took each of them window shopping in small beach towns to get ice cream while my husband swapped out with our other kid to spend time with her. It worked out really well.
Tips for Spending Quality Individual Time With Your Child(ren)
Here are some things I’ve found helpful when spending time one-on-one with my kids and quality time with them in everyday life:
Engage them in your regular activities: I try to include my kids in as much of my regular life as possible, like helping out in the kitchen for meals, making grocery lists and shopping, planting and watering our little garden, doing our nails, and even in my own work as I let them read my stories I’ve written or ask them questions about places we go and what’s interesting about them.
Nurture their own interests: My kids’ personalities, interests, and gifts are like presents that I get to open all year long and discover new things about them. One of my daughters loves art and making things so I try to do things with her that involve those activities. My other daughter loves adventurous activities and trying new things so that’s what we do.
Listen to them: I’d say this is a really big one not just for my kids but also for any other relationship. Put your phone down, take out your earplugs, close your laptop and listen to them when they are talking to you and give them your attention. I don’t mean every time your five-year-old says “watch this!” and slides down a slide for the millionth time because that would probably drive me insane. I’m talking about when they want to show you a new drawing or when they come home from school and tell you about their day or talk about a sports game they participated in or an issue with a friend. I remember the people in my life who look me in the eye and make me feel like the only person that matters just because they listen to me. I want to be that person for my loved ones.
Getoutside: I am big into hiking, camping, paddleboarding, and anything outdoors and have nurtured that same love in my kids. When we are hiking or doing something outdoors, I just find it so much easier to remove distractions and be more present with my kids. I’m not constantly checking my phone or email when we are outdoors. I feel like I’m more in tune with life, with my kids, and with myself when we are enjoying nature and this has helped us tremendously to have great conversations on the trail or just talk about whatever my kids want without distraction. Especially where we live in the Upstate, getting outside is so, so easy because of the hundreds of miles of trails we have, the pristine lakes, the beautiful waterfalls. It’s an entire world waiting to be discovered by you and your kids.
Show affection: One of my kids’ love languages (look it up – love languages are interesting) is physical touch so if I hug her or hold her hand, I can see an immediate change in her for the better. If she’s having trouble with schoolwork, I’ll sit right next to her where we are touching and nearly every time, it helps her to calm down and focus. My other daughter loves words of affirmation so I’m mindful to tell her what a great job she is doing or how beautiful her artwork looks or how entertaining her written story is. These are ways I know for sure my kids understand how much I love them and ways I can show affection that they will immediately get.
The time is gone before we know it
I said in the beginning of this post that I’d tell you my reasons for focusing so much on quality and one-on-one time with my kids. I remember the times I had with my own mom when it was just her and me and I treasure those memories and photos like my life depended on it. When I was in college, she visited me in Washington, DC and we did a dinner cruise and bike ride all around the monuments. It was such fun. We were able to spend a week together abroad also when I was in college, which was amazing. And she taught me how to cook in our family kitchen growing up and we loved watching The Food Network together and laughing over how much butter Paula Deen was using to cook bacon.
My mom died when I was in my mid-20s and – I don’t think I’m alone here in saying this – it made an enormous impression on my life. I know what quality time with people I love means. I know what time with my mom meant and I’m determined to give that same time and love to my own kids. I mess up often as a parent but I always try to come back to this road of giving my kids the time they deserve and making memories that they will take with them for the rest of their lives.
Things to Do for One-on-One Time
No matter where you live, or what your budget looks like, there are fun things you can do for special one-on-one time with your kids.
Try these ideas for quality time with individual kids:
The effort you make to carve out special moments with your kids is worth it, whether they are toddlers or teenagers.
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Never snorkel alone
