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  • Cartoons ‘show and tell’ the trauma of sedation for autistic children

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    By Louise Kinross

    Sammy is a comic about a young girl who needs to be put under anesthetic in an operating room for regular medical exams because she’s autistic and self-injures when anxious.

    The comic shows Sammy from her family’s perspective. We hear about her diagnoses, but also her great love of the animated TV character Bluey, and how she uses an iPad and gestures to communicate. We see her mom, frazzled from non-stop attempts to coordinate Sammy’s numerous appointments.

    Artist Elsbeth Dodman (photo above) uses interesting techniques to convey how the medical system reduces Sammy’s story—and that of her mother—to a diagnosis. Then we see how traumatic it is for Sammy to wait in a busy, unfamiliar hospital room to be put under general anesthesia. She screams and screams. The final panels are chilling. They convey what happens to Sammy, alone, behind the closed OR door, before she’s rendered unconscious.

    Every time I read this comic I see more in it, more things I can relate to, because I’ve witnessed my own non-speaking son held down by health professionals.

    Sammy is part of a collection of nine cartoons that tell the stories of children who have repeated sedations in hospital ORs because they can’t tolerate clinic visits with medical specialists and having blood work drawn. Most have autism and intellectual disability, and many are non-speaking.

    “It’s traumatic for the child and family and everyone from the anesthesiologist to the booking clerk who has to watch these poor children suffer,” says Dr. Anamaria Richardson, a community pediatrician in Vancouver.

    As part of a study at BC Children’s Hospital, Richardson and her research team interviewed 11 parents of children aged four to 25 who are repeatedly put under anesthetic because their behavioural challenges mean medical care can’t be done in regular clinics.

    The study found that multiple hospital sedations caused cumulative physical and psychological trauma to children and parents. Families experienced clinicians who didn’t understand their child’s behaviour; care that didn’t meet their child’s unique needs; and a lack of communication to coordinate exams so that the number of sedations was minimized. The researchers said this coordination should sit with providers, not parents.

    “A parent would say ‘We just had a sedation done for dental, and then we see neurology and they say my child needs another sedation for a lumbar puncture,” Richardson recounts. “The burden of patient management is being placed on the parent, and they don’t necessarily have the capacity to call all the departments and get these things coordinated. Multiple sedations also don’t make sense from a financial perspective, when everything could be done at one time.”

    To raise awareness of this marginalized population, Richardson connected with Elizabeth ‘Biz’ Nijdam, a professor at the University of British Columbia who directs the UBC Comic Studies Cluster. Together, they created a project that matched each of nine artists with an anonymous parent interview Richardson’s team had transcribed. The artist was to bring the child’s and family’s story to life.

    Nijdam says comics lend themselves to capturing complex human experiences. “You tell the story at the verbal level, and you tell a different story at the visual level” she says. “The intersection of those two stories creates three stories happening at the same time, which adds a lot of nuances.

    “With some comics you see a lot of narrative tension develop because people are saying one thing, and at the same moment, the pictures are depicting a different experience. And it’s not just pictures. It’s how cartoonists use panels, speech balloons and present comics sequentially that make these stories complicated. Not only are the stories complicated, but sometimes the visual and verbal narratives are juxtaposed or contradictory.”

    Nijdam put out a call to UBC students and professional cartoonists to participate in the project. Coincidentally, some of the artists who were chosen happened to be autistic. “Because they were neurodiverse, they emotionally engaged with the material and really brought the energy and passion,” Nijdam says. “I was moved by how committed all of the cartoonists were.”

    Comics can be particularly useful for telling the story of children who don’t speak, Nijdam says. “These children can’t speak for themselves, but they have a story to tell. Using comics allows that story to be embodied. It brings that story to life.

    “Suddenly the stories that the children can’t tell on their own are being told and visualized in relation to a body. That humanizes the experience. We see these children thinking or communicating in some way for themselves.

    “Comics tell these stories differently, and that’s important because it means they can reach different audiences. The art connects emotionally with people because it captures the subjectivity of this experience better than a written version, and better than an interview transcript, which no one has the time to sit down and read.”

    In her artist statement, Dodman writes: “I’ve had my own experiences navigating the healthcare system as an autistic person, so I was really excited for this project and to tell S’s story. I wanted to be able to make changes for kids like S and get people to reconsider how disabled people access healthcare.

    “I think one of the greatest aspects of storytelling through comics is that you can show and tell people what happened. You get the opportunity to be a reporter, and the pictures you draw can help convey the very real emotion of the moment. Comics can make you feel like you were there, like a witness. Please be S’s witness.”

    The comics were part of an exhibit at BC Children’s Hospital in May. Nijdam notes that the one parent who attended took a handful of copies “to help others understand their son’s experiences. A comic is something you can give to a friend who doesn’t quite understand what’s going on with your child.”

    To improve the sedation experience, the researchers recommend a centralized hospital intake process and nurse practitioners who review patient files and use an algorithm to coordinate as many assessments as possible into one sedation. A second part of the research project involves interviews with 14 providers of anesthesia.

    “BC Children’s Hospital is on board to improve care for this patient population, and they have been working collaboratively with us to identify solutions,” Richardson says. “One idea is a sedation suite for children with complexity where only one or two kids would be seen a day, so surgeons won’t feel pressure to get another kid in quickly,” Richardson says. 

    She notes that children who take medications that require regular lab work to monitor their health may not be getting those recommended checks because of their behaviour. “This would not be right for any other patient population, but we’re okay with it for these guys, because why? It isn’t right.”

    Check out all of the Exams Under Anesthesia comics here.

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    lkinross

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  • Head Shoulder Knees and Toes Lyrics (Free Video)

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    “Head Shoulder Knees and Toes” is one of the most popular nursery rhymes worldwide, known for its simple lyrics and catchy melody. Moreover, the song helps young children learn about body parts in a fun, interactive way. Additionally, it’s a staple in preschools, playgroups, and homes where parents and caregivers engage kids in early learning activities. In this article, we will break down the “Head Shoulder Knees and Toes” lyrics, explore its significance in childhood education, and provide tips for incorporating the song into learning routines.

     

    The Lyrics: Simple and Fun

    The Head Shoulder Knees and Toes Lyrics are easy to remember and sing along to, making it a perfect song for toddlers and preschoolers.

     

    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.
    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.
    And eyes and ears and mouth and nose.
    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.

    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.
    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.
    And eyes and ears and mouth and nose.
    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.

    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.
    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.
    And eyes and ears and mouth and nose.
    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.

    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.
    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.
    And eyes and ears and mouth and nose.
    Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.

     

    Thus, the Head Shoulder Knees and Toes Lyrics repeat in the same pattern, which helps reinforce the identification of body parts in a musical way. Each time the song is sung, children point to the relevant parts of their body, creating a multisensory learning experience.

    Source

     

    Benefits of Singing “Head Shoulder Knees and Toes”

    Cognitive Development

    Engaging kids with songs like “Head Shoulder Knees and Toes” offers more than just entertainment. Further, it plays a crucial role in early childhood development.

    1. Physical Development

    The song encourages children to move and touch different parts of their body in sync with the lyrics. This helps develop coordination, motor skills, and spatial awareness. As they touch their head, shoulders, knees, and toes, they learn to follow directions and use their body efficiently.

    2. Cognitive Development

    • Memorization: The repetition of the “Head Shoulder Knees and Toes” lyrics aids memory retention, which is a critical cognitive skill in young learners.
    • Sequencing: Singing the song allows children to practice sequencing, as they must remember the order of body parts.
    • Body Awareness: It helps teach children about their body parts and improves their understanding of self and spatial orientation.

    3. Language and Speech Development

    The song introduces basic vocabulary (head, shoulders, knees, toes, eyes, ears, mouth, and nose) to children. By singing along, kids improve their pronunciation and vocabulary while also practicing sentence formation.

     

    How to Make the Song Interactive?

    Head Shoulder Knees and Toes rhymeHead Shoulder Knees and Toes rhyme

    To make learning even more engaging, parents and teachers can incorporate various activities alongside the “Head Shoulder Knees and Toes” lyrics. Here are some ideas:

    • Speed Variations: Sing the song slowly, then gradually increase the speed. This adds a fun challenge and helps children sharpen their listening and movement skills.
    • Actions: Encourage children to point to the body parts as they sing, or even dance around while following the instructions. This physical involvement increases engagement.
    • Props: Use puppets or stuffed animals to act out the lyrics. This adds a playful twist to the song and makes it even more memorable for little ones.

     

    The Importance of Repetition

    One of the key elements of “Head Shoulder Knees and Toes” is its repetitive nature. Repetition is essential in early childhood education as it reinforces concepts and aids memory retention. Each time children hear the lyrics, they internalize the vocabulary and movements, which helps solidify their understanding of the body parts.

    Why Repetition Works:

    • It helps children feel successful and competent as they master the lyrics and corresponding actions.
    • Repeating the song in different settings (home, school, etc.) ensures consistency in learning.
    • Children naturally enjoy repetition, as it provides comfort and familiarity.

     

    Teaching Variations of the Song

    Head Shoulder Knees and ToesHead Shoulder Knees and Toes

    There are many ways to keep the “Head Shoulder Knees and Toes” song interesting by introducing variations. This helps children stay engaged and excited to learn.

    Popular Variations:

    1. Adding New Body Parts: Expand the lyrics to include additional body parts like elbows, ankles, or wrists. This introduces more vocabulary and makes the song more challenging.
    2. Other Languages: Sing the song in different languages. This is an excellent way to introduce children to multilingual learning while keeping the core theme intact.
    3. Animal Versions: Instead of body parts, you can change the lyrics to name animal parts, such as “head, paws, tail, and ears,” to make the song even more fun and imaginative.

     

    Summary!

    The lyrics of “Head, Shoulder, Knees, and Toes ” have stood the test of time because of their simplicity, educational value, and fun factor.

    The song serves as an excellent tool for teaching young children body awareness, vocabulary, and coordination while keeping them entertained.

    With so many variations and interactive ways to sing the song, it’s no wonder this classic nursery rhyme remains a favorite among kids and educators alike.

    We hope you found this article informative!

    Also Read: 5 Minute Bed Time Stories For Kids

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    Sneha Talwar

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  • This Local Fire Dog Can Stop, Drop, and Roll

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    The Mauldin Fire Department has a new but very cute education assistant, Ember! Ember isn’t just any fire dog, she is specially trained as both a therapy dog and as a pro on fire safety.

    Ember knows how to demonstrate stop, drop, and roll as well as some other basic fire safety prevention actions. She also loves kids and firefighters!

    Fire Marshall John Centrone rescued Ember, a German Shepherd mix, as a pet for his children. When he took her to puppy class though she was so smart that she had to be promoted to a harder class. Soon, he realized that he had a very special dog that could help the fire station update their fire education program.

    Mauldin now has the only animal-assisted fire prevention program near our area. Children’s attention span is typically just 10-12 minutes but an animal can double that attention span. Fire Marshall John Centrone had noticed that while the kids enjoyed the puppet program, their attention would start to wane during the important talk afterwards. Now with Ember, he can keep the kids attention as he teaches fire prevention and reward the kids with meeting Ember after the presentation is over.

    Meet Ember at Our Event

    We met Ember and quickly realized that our community would love to meet her too. As a result, we have organized a special free Kidding Around® event on Friday, November 15, 2024 from 10-12.

    This program will include:

    • Puppet Show
    • Ember Demonstrations & Fire Safety Prevention Tips
    • Tour of the Mauldin Fire Station HQ including seeing the Fire Trucks

    This program is appropriate for preschoolers and homeschoolers. Please R.S.V.P. as there are limited spots. We have also asked for you to select tickets based on the ages of your children so that we can plan appropriately.

    Mauldin Fire Station Head Quarters
    955 West Butler Road, Greenville
    November 15, 2024, 10-12
    FREE
    RSVP Required

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    Bethany Winston

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  • Seven Activities to Do With Your Family Other Than Movie Night

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    Family movie nights are practically an American tradition–everyone piled into the living room with big bowls of popcorn. Many of us enjoyed a lot of movie nights last spring when schools were closed, and our kids came home from college. Now, with an extended fall break coming up, we can look forward to many more cozy nights together with our families. 

    That said, if I’m being honest, sometimes couch time can start to feel a little a bit like being in a rut–a little sluggish. So to get ready for the long, cold nights ahead, I am thinking outside the box (or screen). Here are a few alternatives to family movie night.

    After too many nights on the couch watching movies, our family was ready for different activities. (Twenty20 @_gilena_)

    Fun activities to do with your teens

    1. A new twist on family game night

    Board games and card games are fun, but in some families people get a little too competitive (I’m looking at you, Uncle Mike). That’s one reason escape room games are great. They involve teamwork–instead of pitting family members against each other like a pack of rabid animals. They’re also challenging and a great workout for the brain.

    And if you feel like you need to wean your family away from nightly screen time gently, there are many virtual escape room games available. 

    2. Listen to an audiobook or podcast.

    Admittedly this might sound a bit old fashioned–like a 1930’s family gathering around the radio to listen to Abbott and Costello. But listening to something engaging while also working a puzzle, knitting, scrapbooking, or other hands-on activity is actually a relaxing and entertaining way to pass an evening. It doesn’t matter if your family is into true crime, history, fiction, or pop culture there’s a podcast for you.

    If books are more your thing, there are a number of audiobook subscriptions services available like Audible and Everand as well as sites that offer free access to audio books such as Librivox or your public library.

    3. Take a night hike.

    Whether it’s a walk around your neighborhood or hike on a trail through the woods, night hikes are just cool. There’s something almost magical about being out under the stars when most of the rest of the world is already tucked in for the evening. Granted, night hiking is one of those things you have to psych yourself up for–especially if it’s cold or snowy.

    It can be hard to bundle up and go out once you’re already in and warm. But night hiking is fun and exhilarating and absolutely worth it–especially when it’s a family event. 

    4. Take a walk down memory lane.

    If actual walking about at night isn’t your family’s thing, maybe a stroll through your photo albums is. Or, if you’re like me, you have boxes and boxes of old photos just waiting to be put into albums and more still on your phone to print.

    Cold winter nights are a great time to look through old pictures. So print the pictures on your phone and drag out those dusty boxes. Hand everybody a stack of photos, a pair of scissors, and a sharpie, and you’ll have all your pictures cropped and dated in no time. If you’re lucky, by the time the kids go back to school, you’ll have a well-organized photo album and even more family memories. 

    5. Take a drive.

    Again, this might sound a bit old fashioned, but we have something today that families taking their Sunday drive in the 50’s didn’t have–a vast variety of takeout and drive-through options. Before making the rounds to check out the local Christmas lights, pick up coffee or ice-cream.

    Better yet, since you’re driving around anyway, why not make multiple stops and let everyone get their favorite treat–a sort of drive-through buffet. This sort of mild extravagance makes for a festive night and a fun new family tradition. 

    6. Learn something new.

    From astronomy to origami to Spanish, there’s an online class or app to teach you and your family something new and fun. While it might be hard to find one topic the entire family agrees on, half the fun could be exploring a variety of options. And with so many free classes available there’s no reason not to try several.  

    7. Just sit.

    Sadly, passing a quiet evening just hanging out together is a pastime almost lost to American families. But spending time together doesn’t have to be a planned event. It doesn’t even have to involve doing anything in particular. It can simply be an evening working puzzles, knitting, even thumbing through a magazine–all activities conducive to casual (or meaningful) conversation– or just quietly being together with the people we love. 

    The idea of not spending the evening in front of the TV is hardly radical. But the idea of trying new things as a family–especially a family of big kids can be. But trying something new can also be a way to get to know each other better, make new memories, and grow closer as a family. And that never gets old.

    You Might Also Want to Read:

    Twenty Ways We Love Spending Time With Our Teenage Sons

    100 Good Movies to Watch With Your Teen or College Student (2024)

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    Laura Hanby Hudgens

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  • Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites for Kids

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    Introducing Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites—a delightful and nutritious snack that your kids will love! Packed with the goodness of flattened rice (poha) and semolina (sooji), these bites are not only easy to prepare but also bursting with flavor. Perfect for snack time or as a light meal, they offer a fantastic way to introduce healthy ingredients into your child’s diet. The soft texture and mild taste make them appealing to young palates. Whether served with a tangy dip or enjoyed on their own, these bites are sure to become a favorite in your home, making healthy eating fun and delicious!

    Health Benefits of Poha and Sooji

    • Easy to Digest: Both poha and sooji are light and easy to digest, making them excellent choices for children, especially during illness or recovery.
    • Nutrient-Rich: Poha is a good source of iron, which helps prevent anemia, while sooji provides essential B vitamins (like B1 and B6) that support brain health and metabolism.
    • Energy Boosting: Being carbohydrate-rich, poha and sooji provide quick and sustained energy, making them ideal for active kids throughout the day.
    • Fiber Content: Poha contains dietary fiber that aids digestion and helps prevent constipation, promoting a healthy gut, while sooji also contributes to a feeling of fullness.
    • Protein Source: Sooji offers a decent amount of protein, essential for growth, muscle development, and overall body function.
    • Versatile and Filling: Both ingredients can be used in various dishes, ensuring that kids get a filling meal that satisfies their hunger and reduces the likelihood of unhealthy snacking.

    Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites Recipe

    Introducing Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites—a delightful and nutritious snack that your kids will love!

    Ingredients:

    Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites for Kids
    • Poha (flattened rice) – 1 cup
    • Sooji (semolina) – 1/2 cup
    • Yogurt – 1/3 cup
    • Coriander leaves – 1 tbsp
    • Salt – a pinch
    • Chilli flakes – 1 tsp [optional – Can be avoided for babies
    • below 2 years]
    • Oregano – 1 tsp
    • Mustard seeds – 1 tsp
    • Sesame seeds – 1 tsp
    • Asafoetida a pinch

    Method

    • Wash and soak poha in water for 5 minutes. Soak sooji in yogurt separately. In a bowl, combine the soaked poha, soaked sooji, salt, and coriander leaves.
    Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites for Kids
    • Shape the mixture into small bite-sized pieces. Steam cook the shaped pieces for 10-12 minutes.
    Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites for Kids
    • In a pan, heat oil and add mustard seeds, sesame seeds, and a pinch of asafoetida, letting them splutter.
    Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites for Kids
    • Add the steamed bites to the tempering and mix gently. Serve with sauce or mint chutney for a delicious snack.
    Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites for Kids

    Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites are a fantastic snack option that combines nutrition and flavor, making them a perfect choice for kids. With the numerous health benefits of poha and sooji—including easy digestion, energy-boosting carbohydrates, and essential vitamins and minerals—these bites not only satisfy little appetites but also support their growth and development. Whether served as a snack or a light meal, these bites can be easily customized with various vegetables and seasonings to keep mealtime exciting. By incorporating this wholesome recipe into your child’s diet, you’re fostering healthy eating habits that will benefit them for years to come. So, get ready to enjoy this nutritious and delicious treat with your little ones!

    Introducing Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites—a delightful and nutritious snack that your kids will love!
    Introducing Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites—a delightful and nutritious snack that your kids will love!

    Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites for Kids

    Introducing Wholesome Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites—a delightful and nutritious snack that your kids will love!

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    Course: Breakfast

    Cuisine: Indian

    Keyword: poha and sooji

    Servings: 0

    Ingredients

    • 1 cup Poha (flattened rice)
    • 1/3 cup Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp Coriander leaves
    • Salt – a pinch
    • 1 tsp Chilli flakes [optional – Can be avoided for babies below 2 years ]
    • 1 tsp Oregano
    • 1 tsp Mustard seeds
    • 1 tsp Sesame seeds
    • Asafoetida a pinch

    Instructions

    • Wash and soak poha in water for 5 minutes. Soak sooji in yogurt separately. In a bowl, combine the soaked poha, soaked sooji, salt, and coriander leaves.

    • Shape the mixture into small bite-sized pieces. Steam cook the shaped pieces for 10-12 minutes.

    • In a pan, heat oil and add mustard seeds, sesame seeds, and a pinch of asafoetida, letting them splutter.

    • Add the steamed bites to the tempering and mix gently. Serve with sauce or mint chutney for a delicious snack.

    Frequently Asked Questions

    Are Steamed Poha and Sooji Bites suitable for toddlers?

    Yes, these bites are soft and easy to chew, making them suitable for toddlers, provided there are no allergy concerns with the ingredients.


    Can I add vegetables to the mixture?

    Absolutely! You can incorporate a variety of finely chopped vegetables, such as carrots, peas, or spinach, to boost the nutritional value and flavor of the bites.

    What can I serve with these bites?

    These bites pair well with yogurt, chutney, or a dipping sauce of your choice, adding extra flavor and nutrition.

    How long does it take to prepare and cook these bites?

    Preparation takes about 15-20 minutes, and steaming typically takes about 10-15 minutes, making this a quick and easy recipe.

    Buy Healthy Nutritious Baby, Toddler food made by our own Doctor Mom !

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  • Is Intensive Parenting Helping or Hurting Kids?

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    There are a lot of things to worry about as modern parents, from the impact of social media on our kids, to violence in schools. But some of us may be worrying so much that our parenting style leans toward overprotective, and even stifling.

    I’m talking about intensive parenting, a term which dates back to 1996 when a sociologist named Sharon Hays coined “intensive mothering.”

    The term, which has been compared to helicopter parenting, was brought into the spotlight recently through some parents on TikTok. “We’re now in a position where we have to figure out if we continue putting all of ourselves into our children to help them become better humans or if we scale it back,” one parent shares in a TikTok video talking about the parenting style.

    Raquel Herrero-Arias, PhD, a researcher of kids and parents at the University of Bergen in Norway, recently also spoke of wanting to research this parenting style. She sees intensive parenting as a style where caregivers are potentially doing too much, to the detriment of the entire family.

    While intensive parenting can have benefits, including building parent-child bonds through more time spent together, it can also lead to issues when taken too far.

    What Does Intensive Parenting Mean?

    You may practice intensive parenting if you constantly strive to keep your kids entertained, rarely leave them in the care of others, and advocate for them to the point of not respecting boundaries with teachers and coaches. 

    I’ll admit to being guilty of some intensive parenting habits, such as organizing my life around my children, and investing too much of myself into their emotional state, as well as obsessing over whether I handled tricky situations well enough.

    Some aspects of intensive parenting take the notion of the child-centered family further, with parents basing their entire sense of well-being upon kids’ successes in life. Parents may even attempt to live vicariously through their kids, and worry, well, intensely about their futures.

    Intensive parenting typically also includes parents being heavily involved in a child’s academics, extracurricular activities, and social interactions. They may often also step in to help their kids solve problems or handle challenges.

    While putting your kids first isn’t necessarily a bad thing, according to experts, intensive parenting can lead to unhealthy pressures being placed on kids, and parents who aren’t focusing on themselves, to the point of leading a dangerously unbalanced life.

    What’s Causing Intensive Parenting?

    It’s believed parents are turning to an intensive style of child-rearing because raising our families in the modern world is more difficult and therefore requires ramped up supervision. Here’s why.

    Social media pressures

    Experts say social media is a huge cause of intensive parenting.

    “Most of us know, on a cognitive level, that social media is a highlight reel—a small piece of what actually happens,” says Anne Welsh, PhD, a Belmont, Massachusetts-based clinical psychologist and specialist in maternal mental health. “However, that constant exposure to other ways of doing things—seemingly perfect ways—starts to have an impact on us.”

    For example, a 2024 Little Sleepies survey found about 73% of moms compares themselves to other parents on social media. And 77% of moms report feeling “mom guilt” because of social media.

    Dr. Welsh reports, “I have seen clients whose mental health and parenting confidence improves significantly when they spend less time on social media.”

    Lauren Canonico, LCSW, a New York City-based psychotherapist and adjunct professor at Affirmative Therapy Collective, agrees that social media plays a big role in pressuring parents.

    “From showing perfectly-packed lunches to allegedly Montessori-approved activities that require hours of preparation, and presenting these as normal, daily activities, we’ve made parents feel that the baseline must be extraordinary, with no room for deviation or falling short,” she explains.

    Rise in parenting expectations

    Social media isn’t the only reason parenting today is so demanding. Dr. Welsh believes that overall, the expectations for parents have risen dramatically in recent years. 

    “There is an expectation that we are perfectly emotionally regulated, endlessly available, and always present,” she says. “While those might be laudable goals, they also aren’t reality.”

    Canonico underscores that for her, there is no question this current moment creates greater difficulty for parents.

    “The world we live in is busier, more demanding, and more expensive than any time that has come before,” she says. “We’re expecting the same things from ourselves—possibly more given the pressures for perfection—with far less disposable time and income to get it done than past generations.”

    Given these perspectives, it’s easy to see how parents turn to an intensive style to cope with the many seeming-requirements of raising our kids today.

    A parent’s own upbringing

    Outside of the demands of raising small humans at this unprecedented time, there are other factors that may drive caregivers toward intensive parenting. 

    “A common theme I see in parenting styles is a pendulum swing from what came before,” says Canonico. “Gen X-ers and Millennials, the two primary groups raising children right now, both have their own unique generational baggage.”

    Gen X-ers were the first latchkey kids, whose parents may have both worked, and therefore they came home to an empty house, unsupervised, after school.

    Meanwhile, as Canonico explains, “Millennials have faced crisis after crisis, often feeling unprotected and unprepared, and relying on over-work and hustle culture as guard against this.”

    In her view, both generations are working to prevent their kids from going through their lived experiences. 

    Personality type

    Sometimes, it comes down to a parent’s personality. Dr. Welsh sees caregivers with certain personality types leaning into intensive parenting, including high achievers and perfectionists.

    “They are used to approaching everything with hard work, strategic planful thinking, and thoughtful analysis,” she explains. 

    What Are the Cons of Intensive Parenting?

    As Dr. Welsh emphasizes, it’s wonderful to care intensely about your kids, and be involved in their lives. And the role of a parent is obviously to look after kids’ well-being, developmental needs, and future success, as Canonico points out. The downside is that doing all of this with overbearing intensity can actually lead to stress for the whole family.

    “The goal of parenting is to show our kids that they are loved,” Dr. Welsh says. “In intensive parenting, we can inadvertently send the message that we are only good enough if we are perfect.”

    Intensive parenting also doesn’t take a parent’s own needs into account. So, not only are we placing undue pressure on our kids if our entire sense of self-worth depends on them, but this approach takes a toll on parents’ mental health. “Yet, we know that one of the most important things for kids’ wellness is having a well parent,” shares Dr. Welsh.

    Canonico adds, “If intensive parenting is interfering with our own ability to care for ourselves, what are we modeling for our kids?”

    On top of that, every child is an individual with so many factors that determine how they develop in life. And not all kids, even in the same family, respond to the same parenting style, as a mom of many like myself can attest to.

    How To Deal With Intensive Parenting

    If you see yourself relating to intensive parenting attributes, there are many things you can do to course correct—and that won’t necessarily involve an overhaul of your entire worldview. “Parents can think about toning down the intensity rather than dropping it,” advises Dr. Welsh.

    Here are specific ways to find more of a middle ground with your parenting style that will benefit both parents and kids:

    • Remember it’s OK for kids to be bored sometimes. Let them figure out how to spend their time free of organized activities or direction from you.
    • Empower kids to problem-solve on their own. Resist the urge to take over and allow them space to work through conflict.
    • Avoid comparing yourself to other families. Consider what is important to your family and focus on that, while also working on trusting your own parenting instincts.
    • Evaluate what the most enjoyable aspects of parenting are versus the most stressful. Try and focus on things that bring your family joy, not angst.

    In the end, Canonico offers this advice to parents: “It can be hard to give yourself permission to do less, but if in doing less you are able to offer more to yourself and your kids, that is such a win in my book.”

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  • What to Buy

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    The Ultimate Gift Guide for Kids of All Ages

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  • Join Us to Help WNC with Blessing Boxes

    Join Us to Help WNC with Blessing Boxes

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    Kidding Around Greenville is joining with Mom to Mom to organize a holiday relief effort for Western NC.

    Our Focus Area

    Henderson County, NC. The northern and eastern sections of the county were severely damaged in Hurricane Helene. The schools on US Highway 64 are home to many students that come from the towns of Bat Cave, Gerton, Chimney Rock, and Edneyville. This area had major destruction.

    The Need

    Henderson County Schools normally partners with The Storehouse – a local non-profit – to provide “Blessings in Boxes” to students in need. These are boxes filled with the childrens’ needs and wants. The lists come directly from parents, who fill out a form for each child. 

    In 2023, they serviced 702 families equaling 2,005 kids. This year, due to the impacts of Helene, they have over 975 families with likely over 3,000 kids (they are still inputting data this week).

    Their usual sponsors are businesses and individuals from Henderson County. However, because everyone in their local area was impacted in one way or another, the needs are great and the helpers are few.

    US Highway 64 conditions in early November 2024

    Our Goal

    Depending on the level of support from our community, we hope to sponsor two schools on US Highway 64: North Henderson High School and Apple Valley Middle School. Together, they have about 400 students in need. 

    We’re working directly with Henderson County Schools for this project. We have direct contact with the central office, administrators at each of the schools, as well as staff at The Storehouse, who is taking on the logistics in Hendersonville, NC.

    What We Need

    We need businesses and community groups to sponsor groups of kids. Team members will purchase gifts listed on a specific ticket given by the parents of each child. Items include needs like clothing and accessories as well as wants like toys and entertainment.

    Requirements

    Team Requirements

    • To be associated with a business or community group (church, book club, neighborhood, athletic team, school, PTA, etc)
    • A team leader to act as the point person working with Kidding Around Greenville & Mom to Mom
    • A commitment to sponsor at least 5 children

    Team Leader Requirements

    • Pick up empty boxes and gift information on Saturday, November 16 in Greenville, SC
    • Ensure that all gifts for each child fit in the boxes given 
    • Drop off all the filled boxes on Saturday or Sunday, December 7 and 8 in Greenville, SC

    Pick Up & Drop Off Location

    TBD, somewhere central in Greenville, SC

    Other Ways to Participate

    If you’re outside the area, shop our two Amazon wish lists (10 children each). M2M has taken 20 children just for this purpose. We’ve added specific items that are included on the lists we’ve received. It also includes common gift cards that we can use to locally purchase items. 

    Each gift item will disappear when purchased and has quantities listed. If it’s still on the list, it’s still a need.

    FAQs

    Q: How much should I spend?

    A: There is no minimum or maximum amount. We think that $50-$150 would be an approximate amount that would cover the gifts asked for by most parents. (No electronics are allowed and a child can only ask for a bicycle every three years in this program).

    Q: What kind of things do kids ask for?

    A: Clothes, coats, socks and shoes, toys, entertainment, etc.

    Q: When will the gifts be delivered to parents?

    A: Pick up dates for parents in Hendersonville, NC take place December 13 and 14. We will be delivering items to Hendersonville before that.

    Key Dates

    Tentative Schedule:

    Saturday, November 16: pick up materials for sponsor children

    Saturday & Sunday, December 7 and 8: drop off filled boxes

    Volunteer Opportunities

    If you’re local to Greenville and would like to volunteer with us, please fill out this interest form and we’ll let you know of upcoming opportunities. 

    Volunteer Interest Form

    Questions?

    Email NCmom2mom@gmail.com.

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    Bethany Winston

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  • Turns Out, I Had No Idea How Hard It Is to Parent Teens

    Turns Out, I Had No Idea How Hard It Is to Parent Teens

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    About 14 years ago, I sat in a church service with my husband and tiny daughter.

    My mind settled on the family in front of us. Two parents and three teenagers. I have thought about this family so often over the years and even more recently. It was the early service. The teenagers were awake but looked rumpled. Two boys and a girl. And I looked at them with envy.

    That woman, the mother, had done it. She survived (it appeared) 17 years of raising children at least. I had just barely begun. And she got three teenagers at church sitting with their parents on time. One of them had their head on her shoulder! She did something right. They looked like the perfect family. How did she do it?

    Raising teens is hard, and we should give each other hugs. (@mindijob via Twenty20)

    What I never knew about the teen years

    Now I am moving into that stage. I have two teenagers and an eight-year-old.

    Let me tell you something. I had no idea about the teen years. None. This is some Ph.D.-level stuff to deal with, and I have a 4th-grade level of preparation. I am stunned and overwhelmed by the twists and turns of parenting teenagers. This is hard work. DIFFICULT. Mental Jedi-level parenting. Nearly all of the stereotypes have become true to one extent or another. All of that was surely not going to happen in this family. Pfffft.

    1. They are moody.

    The moods. Wow. It feels like hugging some cacti over here. Lately, I feel the need to announce that I might hug them. It goes like this. Hey, it will be ok. I’m going to move toward you now. I’m going to hug you. It’s happening. I’m your mother, and I feel you owe me this much since I birthed you. Feel free to stand there woodenly and hold your breath until it’s over. But make no mistake. I am going to hug you…3,2,1.

    It’s hard not to take things personally when they are so crabby. The combination of their random malaise and my lack of sympathy causes the rift. I mean, sometimes their day-to-day lives are pretty cushy.

    Pick ME up in sub-zero temps in a warm car within 34 seconds of my activity ending. Hand me cocoa. Heaven. Force ME to go to bed at a reasonable hour in fresh sheets in a clean room. Heaven. Wash my clothes. Invite my friends over. Make me breakfast. Make my friends breakfast. Leave me alone when I’m on a Netflix binge. Give me cash from time to time. Ask me how my day was and soothe me when it wasn’t good: Heaven, heaven, heaven. And yet, I sometimes still get the large moods all up in my face.

    2. They are self-focused.

    They stand at the epicenter of their very own universe. If I had a dollar for every time “It’s not all about YOU” was uttered in this house (by us parents), I’d have enough to visit the epicenter of the universe and fly first class. Narcissism works against them. I try to point out that literally, nobody else notices their hair/skin/scowl/braces/pants/test grade/shoes/mistake/social gaffe because all THOSE people are self-obsessed too. They don’t believe me.

    3. They do stupid things.

    Their friends do stupid things. They all are doing stupid things together. (I’ll choose not to elaborate…wherever your mind is running off to right now — it is likely happening with my kids, your kids, and/or the kids they know, or it will, or it already has). And they think nobody will know about some of these bad choices, and parents will never find out, which is painfully naive.

    Newsflash: Everyone will know (faster and wider spread with the assistance of social media), and all parents will find out everything eventually. Whether we find out within minutes of the event or much later…we find out. Our parents are just one generation older who already did all the stupid things. Hellooooo. We invented and perfected stupid just like our parents did before us. Duh.

    4. They think I am yelling.

    If I ask them something or tell them something. Example: Could you please bring these dirty clothes to the basement so I can wash them? This is met with large sighs, hunchback body language, eye rolls, a chorus of “I KNOW!!!!” and this…”You don’t have to yell at me!” Um-what? I wasn’t yelling. When I yell, you will know. I could blow the roof off with the yelling. Do not test me. You know not what I am capable of with yelling.

    5. They act like typical teenagers.

    They play their music. Loudly. Early in the morning. They watch TV. Some of it is absolute garbage. They know things about the Kardashians. Makes me want to cry. My son recently answered a geography bee test question correctly. He learned the answer by watching 324 episodes of Modern Family. I’m so proud.

    They leave water bottles everywhere. They argue with me for sport. They leave food wrappers on the floor of their rooms. They fling their shoes in every corner-and sometimes they reek. They embarrass me sometimes. I embarrass them sometimes. We are in a cycle of mutual inadvertent embarrassment. They get mad when I take their photo (see above).

    They eat all day. A meal schedule means nothing to them. A sleep schedule means nothing to them. I’m awake when they are asleep. They are awake when I am asleep. They change their minds on a whim. Their phones are an appendage. They move chargers around the house and then lie about not moving them.

    They wear earbuds and then act surprised when they can’t hear us. They glom onto a ‘catchphrase’ and can’t stop. If my son doesn’t stop saying the word ‘savage’ soon…I’m going to lose it.

    6. Their friends are everything.

    This I remember well. It’s hard to shine a light on the fact that some of these friendships will be lifelong. They might have a friend now that would walk through fire for them. They will see them through good and bad, and they will have their back, and it will be unfathomable how life could continue without one another.

    Other friendships are drama, destruction, exhaustion, and an avalanche of negativity. It will be like removing an anvil from their neck when they finally figure it out and walk away. And sometimes, as a teenager, you can’t determine which friend fits into which category, and it might take years to gather enough evidence to sort it out.

    7. They think I “just don’t understand.”

    And I don’t. I don’t understand their experience, and I wouldn’t want to. I remember the teen years, but this isn’t your mother’s teen years. I think it is worse.

    Teens are under much stress at school

    My 15-year-old often puts in 16-hour days. She isn’t running a Fortune 500 Company, just attending high school. On December 15th, she was at school by 7:30 am. She had something before school during ‘zero hour’. She had six classes (complete with tests/lectures/notes/presentations) and then went straight to dance team prep for a jazz meet. She danced her time slot at 7:10.

    Then she ran down the hall, changed into her orchestra dress, and jumped into her spot in the concert orchestra to play the violin at 7:43. (We are now at 12+ hours spent in that building) Then she ran back and changed into her warm-ups to cheer on her team in their dances and be present for awards. Then she hauled 50 pounds of cookie dough (music fundraiser), a dance team bag, costumes, a school backpack, etc., into the car to head home.

    Home at 10 pm. Then she ripped out her bun form and hairnet, peeled off her false eyelashes at the kitchen table, ate something, and finally sat down to start START on a few hours of homework.

    OH MY GOD. Who can live like this? The teenagers. They live like this. A lot of them.

    I’ll tell you, the modern teenager has full days, but sometimes I wonder how much living they are doing. They are on a high-speed treadmill, and it’s nearly impossible to step off it. The intensity level of school, activities, and friends is relentless. When they say, “I don’t have time,” they mean it. They run out of hours in their day — often. Home is the last bastion of relaxation, where people love you but nag you about picking up your wet towel.

    Needless to say, I have had to adjust my expectations. A lot. It is not my carefree adolescence of the 80s. They can’t just complete their homework on the bus or skip it altogether (like I did). They don’t have 45 minutes daily to devote to outfit selection and hair prep (like I did). They can’t fail three tests and make up the points with cute extra credit or daily work (like I did).

    The pressure they feel is product-heavy and process-light. Achieve, achieve, achieve. There are posters at our local high school boasting that it has been ranked “One of the most challenging high schools in America.” Maybe that inspires? It only depresses me, and I don’t even have to attend school there.

    Teenagers are under a lot of stress. I had stress in high school, but I wasn’t always hearing a competitive results-focused message from my parents, friends, extracurricular activities, school district, and phone. It has somehow become my job to be the counterweight to ALL OF THAT and foster a “do enough” approach.

    I never thought that would be my role. I never thought I would want them to achieve less and work on cultivating more joy. I thought I would be cracking the whip. But the world is already set on whipping them. They need encouragement. They need a freaking break.

    And this stage isn’t all bad. They are fun. So much fun. And funny. Oh my God…funny! I enjoy their stories; they read better than any screenplay or novel. I can’t even tell the stories here, or they’ll never speak to me again. (I asked) I should get a Finsta. I can talk to them now about the big things and be straightforward; they get it.

    In some ways, I can be more myself than I could be when they were little. Occasionally they do their laundry and cook their food. I love watching them learn. Sometimes minor miracles happen, and they load the dishwasher, help a neighbor or play with their little brother, or make a positive but tough choice without input or a death threat from me. And sometimes, they show glimmers of the adults they will soon become, giving me great hope and energizing me for the day.

    I think about that family in church. Maybe one of the kids had to be dragged out of bed to make it on time. Maybe one had been grounded for a week and slept in the clothes they were wearing. Maybe one was there of free will but was about to pick an epic fight on the ride home. Maybe all three had headphones on the entire ride to and from. Maybe that mother was sitting there for one quiet hour like I do now and think…

    -Well (*sigh)…at least we are here.

    You Might Also Enjoy Reading: 

    Seven Signs of the Aging Apocalypse

    To My Daughter on Her High School Graduation: Are you Ready? Am I? 

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    Jen LarsenFortner

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  • How to Advocate for and Accommodate Special Needs Children

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    As both a parent of children with disabilities and someone with disabilities myself, I understand just how crucial accommodations are—whether in school, the workplace, or daily life. If you’re a parent of a child who requires additional support, here are some tips on how to advocate effectively and ensure the right accommodations are in place.

    How to Accommodate Special Needs Children For Parents and Educators

    The support of children with special needs and differences in learning requires a thoughtful and multi-level approach, combining advocacy, accommodation, and understanding. With effective strategy, parents and educators alike can ensure a nurturing environment in which special needs children can flourish both academically and emotionally. This article identifies some of the major methods in effectively promoting the rights and inclusion of children with special needs.

    Understanding Special Needs and Learning Differences

    Special needs and learning differences range from learning disabilities connected to dyslexia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, developmental disorders like autism spectrum disorder. No child is exactly the same in their needs, and so much can be achieved in support once the specific challenges of a child come to light. This includes the identification of his strengths and weaknesses and how these factors influence his or her learning and daily life.

    Effective Advocacy

    Advocacy is how special needs children receive appropriate support and accommodation. In many cases, parents and guardians are often the key players for the child’s needs in education and emotion. Effective advocacy will involve educating oneself about the nature of the child’s condition and their legal right to accommodations. In countries like the United States, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act ensure that children with disabilities receive accommodations in school.

    Another effective way to advocate is through support networks-building. Connecting to other parents, support groups, and organizations that focus on special needs will help gain information and resources. Networking with others who understand a child’s needs can often provide real advice and support. It also helps to keep lines of communication wide open and ongoing with educators-school teachers and school counselors. You will be sharing information about the needs your child has and develop an IEP or 504 Plan for your child’s appropriate accommodations.

    Record all discussions and decisions about the child’s education. Keeping these meeting details, communications, and documentation may be vital if disputes arise or extra support becomes necessary. The recordkeeping communicates progress and ensures that all parties involved in this matter are on the same page to support the child.

    Implementation of Accommodation

    Accommodation involves changes in either the learning environment or teaching methods that can help a child with special needs learn and succeed. There is significant divergence about what constitutes effective accommodations, given that every child may have very unique needs, but several elements are common: individualized educational plans-things like an IEP or 504 Plan-should detail customized educational goals, as well as accommodations and modifications, for that child. These should be periodically reviewed and updated to reflect the progress of the child and their changing needs.

    Flexible methodologies in teaching can also make a lot of difference. For example, this may involve adjustment in instructional strategies to different learning styles through the use of visual aids, manipulative activities, or alternative assessment methods that help children with learning differences more fully learn and retain knowledge. It also means allowing for a more supportive environment: including quiet space for the child who easily gets distracted or incorporating assistive technology.

    Not to be left behind are the social and emotional needs of such children. Social skill-enhancing programs, self-esteem, and emotional resilience may allow such children to work their way through social interactions and build confidence therein. Schools can offer counseling services or even peer support groups to provide added support.

    Utilizing School Equipment and Labels

    Besides academic accommodations, practical tools and school equipment can also be of immense help in supporting children with special needs. For instance, using school labels for kids with learning differences helps them keep their things organized and decreases their anxiety. Names on personal things, like a backpack, binders, or even classroom supplies, are very helpful in keeping them organized, and the child is able to recognize his or her stuff at any moment. The simple yet effective tool will prevent confusion and support independence, especially in children with ADHD or with executive function challenges.

    Other equipment may include adapted seating arrangements, ergonomic desks, or assistive technology, such as speech-to-text software or audiobooks. These could make immense differences in how well the child engages with the curriculum and manages their daily tasks effectively.

    Collaboration with Professionals

    Apart from the help that a child can get at school, collaboration with other professionals can further facilitate the support given to children with special needs. Specialized advice on teaching strategies and interventions likely to be most appropriate for the child can be given by special education specialists, while therapists in occupation, speech, or behavior can help the child overcome certain difficulties and suggest independent skills and behavior management. Equally important is coordination with healthcare providers to manage the medical features of the child’s condition and ensure that medical treatment plans are well-integrated into the overall system of support.

    Conclusion

    Working with a child who has special needs or learning differences involves keeping all three aspects in a delicate balance: effective advocacy, accommodations to their needs, and collaboration with professionals. Parents will be able to ensure that their child receives just the right amount of support to enable them to thrive by educating themselves on the issue at hand, forming a strong support network, and communicating well with educators. Reasonable accommodations put into place, practical tools utilized-such as school labels-and a supportive environment all help children with special needs reach their full potential and, subsequently, make sure their futures are secure both at school and later on.

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  • Home Decor: 9 Ways to Get Inspired

    Home Decor: 9 Ways to Get Inspired

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    A few years ago, I was living in a tiny home that was bursting at the seams with the amount of people living in it. But in addition to the small space, I realized that the color scheme and design of the living space was so contrary to my taste and aesthetics which increased how much I disliked my house. Because moving wasn’t an option at the time, I used some of the following ideas to get inspired on how to redecorate my home (Pinterest was my favorite) and managed to do a makeover for my house for very little money and made my house a much more pleasant place for me to live. Using what I learned during that time, when we did manage to move to a larger space, I used those same ideas to decorate the new space.

    The interior of your home says a lot about who you are as a person. Bright colors and loud textures often imply you’re the life of the party: upbeat and full of life. A clean, calm, and serene space, on the other hand, might suggest you’re a relaxed personality who enjoys the simple things in life. A dark home’s interior could make you out to be a mysterious person.

    Do you really want your home to say something about you that you aren’t? Don’t you want to feel your true, authentic self inside your own space? That’s exactly why the proper interior design is so critical. You deserve to be you and even more so in the comfort of your home!

    If you’re looking to revamp your home to ensure it properly expresses the kind of person you are, then you’ve come to the right place! Below are some quick and easy ways to get a little interior design inspo, no matter what style you’re aiming for or what your interior design goals are.

    1. Pinterest

    Pinterest is king when it comes to getting any sort of inspiration, whether it be fashion, beauty, or even interior design. With millions of pictures on the website/app, you’re sure to find an endless source of influence for your own home.

    Scope Pinterest for current interior design trends, or search boards or pins based on certain interior design styles, colors, or textures that you’re looking to implement in your own space. You’re sure to find something that captures your eye!

    When you find photos you like, organize the pins in your own boards to create an organized, digital masterpiece.

    2. Instagram

    Instagram is the perfect place for sharing and viewing the aesthetic things in life. Search different interior design-related tags to find recent or top-performing photos from around the world. Or, use the app to find different interior design experts whose pages you can follow for an endless and steady supply of interior design inspiration.

    3. Model Homes

    Probably one of the best, yet least thought of, ways to get home inspiration from is model homes. If there are any new communities in your area, you may have the opportunity to walk through several model homes to see some of the latest and greatest interior design trends in action.

    If you don’t happen to have any model homes available in your area to visit in person, you can often do 3D walk-throughs of different model homes on many home builder websites, especially those specializing in tract homes.

    4. Home Design Shows

    What better way to get interior design inspiration than to watch home design TV shows? Not only will you get inspiration, but you’ll also get a great source of entertainment! And if you happen to find a specific designer you like on TV, you can always find them on social media to view more of their designs for extra inspo.

    5. Magazines

    There are several interior design-specific magazines out there for you to consider, both in print and digital versions. Get a printed copy delivered straight to your home, skim through a magazine at your local grocery store before buying the right one, or purchase a digital copy on your tablet.

    If you buy a physical magazine, consider tearing out the pages that give you the best inspiration. Keep them in a folder or binder, or create an aesthetic collage for your viewing purposes. If you happen to buy a copy of a digital magazine, you can take screenshots, which can then be organized into a digital album, arranged in a digital collage, or even printed.

    6. Airbnbs

    You don’t have to physically visit Airbnbs to get inspiration from them! These beautifully designed rentals can be viewed right on the Airbnb website from your phone or computer. And since Airbnbs are in almost 200 different countries around the world, in a variety of biomes, you bet that you get a wide variety of inspiration no matter what you’re looking for!

    7. Interior Design Websites

    Sometimes the best way to get the latest interior design information quickly is to go directly to an interior design website. This can be a blog, a portfolio from a professional interior designer, or a general website gearing towards interior design. If you find an interior design website you like, don’t forget to bookmark it for later viewing!

    Some popular interior design websites include House of Hipsters, Decorilla Interior Design Blog, Apartment Therapy, Houzz Blog, and Young House Love.

    8. Hotels

    Even if you aren’t a big traveler, hotels can still inspire you interior design-wise. Going to different hotel websites, you often have the opportunity to check out pictures or videos of the different rooms they have to offer. Some hotel websites give you the opportunity to three-dimensionally walk through a room as if you were actually there in person.

    Review websites, like Yelp or Google Business, of certain hotels may also have additional pictures or videos, allowing you to get a good glimpse of the hotel rooms’ interiors.

    9. Interior Design Apps

    There are a plethora of interior design apps out there to refer to when you find yourself with an interior designer’s block.

    Some of these apps are geared specifically towards finding your interior design style or discovering the latest trends. Other interior design apps are game-based, allowing you to practice your interior design skills. Then there are apps that utilize AI technology, allowing you to fully immerse your interior space with a specific interior design style or element.

    Some of the top-rated interior design apps today include Houzz – Home Design & Remodel, House Flipper: Home Design, AI Interior Design, Design Sessions, and Remodel AI – Home Renovation.

    Conclusion

    We all want a beautiful, put-together home interior. A lot of that starts with ensuring you’ve got your decor properly congregated. Fortunately, decorating the inside of your home doesn’t have to be as difficult of a task as you might have thought. With the latter inspirations in mind, a beautiful home interior will be a quick task to accomplish.

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  • Supermom In Training: 10 Homemade costumes you can make in one night

    Supermom In Training: 10 Homemade costumes you can make in one night

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    I know, I know… Halloween is just hours away. But I’ve got you: here are 10 homemade costumes you can make with basic stuff you have around your house.

    Now go!

    Gumball machine: Cover the bottom ¾ of a white shirt with coloured pompoms. A ruffled skirt or tutu and leggings in a bright hue complete the look. 

    Mummy: All you need is lots and lots (and lots) of strips of white material. Mom tip: Make sure they have a separate top and bottom (to make bathroom breaks easier).

    Pirate: You know all those torn clothes that are in the donation pile? Give them a new lease on life by tattering them further into a swashbucklin’ getup. 

    Astronaut: Cover a helmet with solid-coloured tape. Use two empty soda bottles that have been spray painted as a jetpack. 

    Robot: Now you finally have a use for all those oversized boxes you’ve been stashing in the garage “just in case.” Deck them out with colourful buttons and screens. Foil can be a great material to incorporate as well.

    Pilot: A leather jacket and khaki pants are the basics. A cool helmet, aviator glasses (ski goggles could work), and cardboard wings complete the look. 

    Witch/Evil sorcerer. Whether it’s black clothing or a cool black cape (which can be fashioned out of a tablecloth or even a garbage bag), a pointed hat and maybe a broomstick are all you need to be a scary witch. Dollar store fangs are a fun extra.

    Superhero: You can get super creative with this one. Felt is a great way to make a mask or eyewear or a cool emblem or logo for a shirt. An upcycled towel or piece of a sheet is a makeshift cape.

    Baby as an old person: Is there anything cuter?! If you want the white hair, you can cover a small hat with cotton balls. Deck out their walking toy to look like, well, a walker, or give them a cane.

    Bumblebee: A great costume for littles, just dress them up in any basic black outfit (one with stripes or polka dots can work too), and then add some homemade wings and a headband with antennae. Works for butterflies and ladybugs too.

    – JC

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  • Homeschooling in the Wild: Offerings of the Greenville Zoo

    Homeschooling in the Wild: Offerings of the Greenville Zoo

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    Have a homeschooler and need a little time outside, away from all the books and computers? Pick a day and participate in one of the educational programs at the Greenville Zoo. They have lots of special events to help your family learn and enjoy the zoo like story time or with the zoo keepers for questions. They even offer special classes just for homeschoolers. KAG Contributor and local mom Maria Bassett is sharing some of the educational opportunities you’ll find at the Greenville Zoo. 

    Be sure to check out our Homeschool Guide for tons of ideas, resources, and more!

    Sure a trip to the zoo is fun any day, and it can be an educational adventure. Sometimes, though, my kids run from exhibit to exhibit and we never really take the time to read the signs, observe and learn. That’s frustrating, and doesn’t feel very educational. Sometimes we bring along some animal classification work (if you’d like some freebie worksheets checkout this homeschool giveaways site for some options.) 

    But sometimes, it’s really just more fun to listen to the great folks at the zoo, than it is to listen to mom!  That’s why I am so thankful for the many educational gems that the Greenville Zoo offers.  They have so many educational programs, and many of them are completely free with admission.

    Viewing giraffes at the Greenville Zoo in Greenville, SC

    Homeschool programs at the Greenville Zoo

    Homeschool Days

    The zoo offers a homeschool day once for kids ages 2-11 years old. My two oldest boys love these classes! They get some hands-on time with various animals and critters. (After the class that featured a number of invertebrates, I heard a lot about how they got to touch the hissing cockroach.  Yuck!)

    And they really learn lots of neat facts. Each class costs $8 for homeschool kids and their families. You can find the next date on the Greenville Zoo’s website.

    Tell Me About it Tuesdays

    Free! (with admission) At 10:30 am and 12:30 pm on Tuesdays you will find zoo staff at specific exhibits talking about and answering your questions about the animals they highlight.  Tell Me About it Tuesdays is a great opportunity for homeschool students to get answers straight from the source.

    Zoo Tots

    Need something for your toddler or preschooler? Zoo Tots is designed specifically for kids ages 2-4 years old. These programs are 45 minutes long and give children a chance to explore and engage with crafts, sensory bins, and educational stations.

    There’s also a structured circle time and animal encounter. Prices are $15 for members and $20 for non-members. See Greenville Zoo’s website for dates and times.

    Learning Safari Thursdays

    Want to see some zoo creatures up close?  Check out the Learning Safari Thursdays for kids ages 5-7 years old on Sundays from 3:00-4:30 pm and Mondays from 10:00 – 11:30 am. These are fun, hands-on exhibits. What a great chance for homeschoolers to learn from zoo staff, without the added cost! Program is 1.5 hours. The cost is $20 for members and $25 for non-members.

    Zookeeping Kids

    This is a chance for your 8-11 year olds to see what it’s like to be a zookeeper! Each week will cover a different aspect of a zookeeper’s job, and kids will have the chance to play games, participate in activities and experiments, chat with zookeepers, and have animal encounters up close.

    Programs are 2 hours from 10 am – 12 pm. Price is $25 for members, and $30 for non-members. See the Greenville Zoo’s website for the next date.

    Note: All three of the above free programs meet September through May.

    Career Day

    If you have a 6th-12th grader who shows interest in becoming a zookeeper, then definitely take a visit to Greenville Zoo for Career Day! You’ll get a behind-the-scenes tour of the zoo and even participate in some of the zoo’s daily tasks. Cost is $50 per person. Check the Greenville Zoo’s website for upcoming dates.

    Conservation Lectures

    Families with older children might enjoy the zoo’s free conservation lecture series. The zoo has partnered with Furman to bring educational lectures about conservation efforts for specific animals. Lectures take place at The Children’s Museum of the Upstate, The Upcountry History Museum, or a Greenville Library and are scheduled in the evening. These lectures are totally free!

    Plan your own trip to the Greenville Zoo

    150 Cleveland Park Drive, Greenville
    864.467.4300
    Greenville Zoo Website

    Online ticket prices: Adults $13; kids 3 – 12 $10; kids 2 and under are free. Members: free
    Walk-up ticket prices: Adults $15; kids 3-12 $12; kids 2 and under are free. Members: free

    What is your favorite program for your homeschooler? Tell us in the comments!

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  • 5 Reasons Why Fayetteville, NC Should Be Your Next Fall Destination

    5 Reasons Why Fayetteville, NC Should Be Your Next Fall Destination

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    My family and I were fortunate enough to tour the city of Fayetteville this October and after our experience, we think you should put it down as your next fall destination. Under 4 hours from Greenville, Fayetteville has every experience you need for an amazing fall vacation from a Zombie Parade downtown to amazing views of fall leaves. We also discovered events for a wide range of ages from younger kids all the way to teens and adults.

    Here are 5 reasons why we think Fayetteville Should Be Your Next Fall Destination.

    Thank you to Distinctly Fayetteville for hosting our visit.

    #1 Downtown Fayetteville goes all out for fall!

    Fayetteville knows how to celebrate the holidays. The downtown is walkable with historic brick downtown buildings festively decorated for the Fall and Halloween season. 

    🎃 Pumpkin Trail
    Themed painted and carved jack-o’-lanterns are displayed throughout the downtown area.

    🎃 Skeleton Alley
    Just off of Hay Street, we encountered “Skeleton Alley” with some towering, beautifully decorated Dia de los Muertos artwork displays. These skeletons were being sold by local artists and businesses to raise funds for relief and recovery efforts in Western North Carolina. 

    🎃Specialty fall-themed drinks

    🎃Zombie Walk and Prom
    Downtown Fayetteville streets come alive, or should we say undead, with their annual Zombie Walk and Prom where Zombies roam the streets the Friday before Halloween.

    🎃Free District Trolley
    After a bit of walking, we learned that on the weekend you can catch the Free District Trolley. Not only was the driver friendly, but she was also very informative, pointing out some local hot spots. The trolley even participated in the season with fun, festive lights.

    #2 Fayetteville offers a wide range of fall fun for younger kids.

    🎃Kids can trick-or-treat downtown Fayetteville on Halloween

    🎃BOOtanical Garden in Fayetteville complete with a multi-story play area.

    The highlight of our fall trip would have to be the Halloween at BOOtanical Garden at Cape Fear Botanical Garden. The event included:

    • A garden landscape was filled with whimsical skeletons and decorations and trees encircled with lights.
    • trick or treat stations
    • craft areas with games

    Their Children’s Garden was beautiful, with multi-story play areas to climb and explore. 

    536 N. Eastern Boulevard Fayetteville, NC 28301
    Open 9 am-5 pm
    BOOtanical Garden at Cape Fear Botanical Garden

    🎃Gallberry Corn Maze

    If you’re looking for fall family fun outside of downtown you can visit Gallberry Corn Maze. Experience their Fall Harvest Festival with kid-friendly attractions such as slides, jumping pillows, and games. They also have “Nas-hawg” pig races that are sure to entertain the whole family. We especially enjoyed the Fruity Pebbles funnel cake from one of the food truck vendors. 

    5991 Braxton Road Hope Mills, NC 28348
    Open 11 am-8 pm
    Gallberry Corn Maze

    #3 Fayetteville might be haunted. Even their downtown comes alive with Zombies.

    🎃Zombie Walk and Prom

    Downtown Fayetteville streets come alive, or should we say undead, with their annual Zombie Walk and Prom where Zombies roam the streets the Friday before Halloween.

    🎃Stoney Point Trail of Terror

    If you’re looking for more thrills and chills, be sure to visit the Stoney Point Trail of Terror in October. This event is run by the Stoney Point Fire Department, along with volunteers from the community. The haunted attraction is gruesome and frightfully fun, with a live band performing on stage as you wait. Proceeds from the attraction go towards the local Fire Department. 

    7221 Stoney Point Road Fayetteville, NC 28306
    Open 8 pm-11 pm
    Stoney Point Trail of Terror

    Stoney Point Trail of Terror

    🎃Historical Haunted Landmarks

    If that isn’t enough to satiate your cravings for the supernatural, take a drive and visit some historical haunted landmarks. 

    Cool Spring Tavern
    We were able to drive by the Cool Spring Tavern, this building was built in 1788. It is rumored to be the home to multiple spirits who haunt within its walls. 

    Sandford House
    Just a couple minutes away is the Sandford House on Dick St, which is reported to be the most haunted building in Fayetteville, so we had to check it out.

    #4 Fayetteville Offers Amazing Views of Fall Leaves.

    Mazarick Park
    If you’re looking for some more picturesque scenery and fall colors, take a trip to Mazarick Park for some leaf peeping. From the floating dock you’ll capture some Insta-worthy photos of Glenville Lake with the multi-colored trees in the background. This multi-purpose park has paved trails with picnic tables and a bathroom nearby.

    1400 Belvedere Avenue, Fayetteville

    #5 You Can Exercise Your Inner Foodie in Fayetteville 

    The Coffee Scene at Prince Charles

    With temperatures dropping we of course had to keep our hands warm with some delicious, seasonal lattes from The Coffee Scene at Prince Charles. If coffee isn’t your scene, you can enjoy some freshly brewed teas from Winterbloom. We tried the Tea of the Day, Honey Forest Berries, it was refreshing and did not disappoint. 

    450 Hay Street, Fayetteville
    The Coffee Scene Instagram

    Gaston Brewing for Lunch 

    We discovered Gaston Brewing for lunch, my husband and I enjoyed a scrumptious Sirloin Steak Melt and the kids enjoyed some burgers. 

    124 Hay Street, Fayetteville
    Gaston Brewing Website

    Dirtbag Ales Brewery & Taproom for Dinner

    In the evening we enjoyed a brew and dinner at Dirtbag Ales Brewery & Taproom. After a long day of adventuring, we kicked back and listened to some live music, and ate some tasty food while sitting under the stars. It was nice to unwind at this family-friendly hangout while the kiddos played on the playground.

    5435 Corporation Drive Hope Mills, NC 28348
    Open 11:30 am-10 pm
    Dirtbag Ales Brewery & Taproom

    Dirtbag Ales

    Bonus: More Things to Do in Fayetteville

    U.S. Airborne and Special Operations Museum

    Fayetteville beams with pride showcasing its rich military history by honoring its past with Memorials and Museums. We spent an hour touring the U.S. Airborne and Special Operations Museum and learning more about the military history of the area and beyond, showcasing over 80 years of army history for the U.S. airborne and special operations units.

    This museum is free with donations requested.

    100 Bragg Boulevard Fayetteville, NC 28301
    Open 12 pm-4 pm
    U.S. Airborne and Space Operations Museum

    J. Bayard Clark Park & Nature Center
    Clark Park is the city’s second-largest regional park. Set beside the Cape Fear River, the park was designed as a natural woodland area dedicated to preserving the environment and educating the public on North Carolina plants and wildlife. The park includes 3 trails and also a Nature Center that showcases both static displays and live reptiles and amphibians.

    631 Sherman Dr, Fayetteville, NC

    Gillis Hill Farm 
    You’ll find animals, history, ice cream and more here at Gillis Hill Farm! The farm has been in Cumberland County for nine generations. Guests can tour the property to learn about the family’s history, seeing animals, antique farm equipment, and restored buildings. It also features its own ice cream shop with all flavors made homemade on-site.

    2899 Gillis Hill Road Fayetteville, NC 28306
    Open 11 am-7:30 pm
    Gillis Hill Farm

    Museum of the Cape Fear Historical Complex
    Learn the history of southeastern North Carolina from Native American times to present day. The museum includes galleries, and Arsenal Park, which houses the remains of the Fayetteville Arsenal that General Sherman burned during the Civil War.

    801 Arsenal Avenue, Fayetteville, NC

    ZipQuest
    As the premier zipline adventure facility in North Carolina, ZipQuest was nominated as one of USA Today’s top 10 Ziplines in the country. This exhilarating two-and-a-half-hour immersive zip line experience is designed to tell a story of nature and adventure. Soar through treetops and take in stunning views of lush forests and the area’s only waterfall. There are multiple courses designed for all skill levels!

     533 Carvers Falls Road, Fayetteville

    Where to Stay in Fayetteville

    We stayed at Hampton Inn & Suites Fayetteville which was conveniently located and offered free breakfast.

    2065 Cedar Creek Road, Fayetteville, NC 28312

    Find more great places to stay in Fayetteville

    Use the map below to find hotels and vacation rentals nearby.
    Kidding Around earns when you book through this map through an affiliate relationship with STAY22.

    Other Annual Events in Fayetteville

    October 2024 Events

    November 2024 Events

    Kidding Around's Travel Guide to North Carolina

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  • ‘We wanted to provide sex-positive, inclusive education for free’

    ‘We wanted to provide sex-positive, inclusive education for free’

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    By Louise Kinross

    Kristyn White (photo right) is the literacy facilitator at Creative Options Regina who leads Tell It Like It Is, a sexual health and wellness course for people with intellectual disabilities. The course covers relationships, dating, gender and sexual identity, body image and safer sex practices. Kristyn developed her interest in this topic as a support worker and is writing about her experiences supporting the sexuality of people with disabilities as part of her master’s research at the University of Regina. She recently spoke at a BRI Research Rounds at Holland Bloorview.

    BLOOM: You talked about four myths about sex and people with intellectual and developmental disabilities: that they’re not interested in sex; not able to consent to sex; perpetual children; or, that if taught about sex, they will be sexually aggressive. Which do you think is the most common myth among health professionals?

    Kristyn White: That’s a good question. Honestly, the one I see a lot is the notion that people with disabilities are perpetual children. I see that perpetuated in many ways, even in the way we speak to people in a tone of voice that we wouldn’t use with other adults. And in the lack of autonomy people have. That’s the one I notice the most, and a lot of us have been guilty of it.

    BLOOM: What myth is most common among parents?

    Kristyn White: In addition to the ‘perpetual children’ one, parents often tell me their child isn’t interested in dating and relationships. I don’t know if that’s because they’re so uncomfortable talking about their child being sexual, but I think with parents that’s the one I hear most often.

    BLOOM: In your talk here, you spoke about how you got interested in this topic when you were working with some youth at a pool and realized one of the young men was masturbating in the change room. You felt unprepared to handle the situation. Is masturbation a tough topic for health professionals, parents and support workers?

    Kristyn White: Yes! Absolutely. In general it’s a taboo topic. We don’t usually talk about our own masturbation practices, even with friends.

    If it happens in public it can be uncomfortable and can get people in trouble. I’ve supported people who have been banned from places, and there’s a lot of shame associated with that. It’s so personal and has to be done in private, and some people struggle with public and private spaces because they haven’t been taught about that.

    BLOOM: Is there a simple way to talk about masturbation?

    Kristyn White: The first thing is to normalize it. Remind people that it’s normal and natural and most people do it. If someone is interested, even at a young age, there’s nothing wrong with it. Then, remind the person, in a casual way, that if you want to do this, no problem, let’s figure out places where you can have private time. Some people need a conversation about private and public spaces, and others may need visuals of where private places are.

    Some people, like those who live in group homes, may not always have access to privacy. That’s a real issue. They may live with many people or share a room. Or maybe they don’t have a door on their bedroom, because it’s deemed a safety risk. 

    In general, the bedroom is the best option, but if you don’t have that privacy, it could be in the bathroom with the door closed. 

    We have to make sure we have a conversation with caregivers about knocking first on the door and not barging in. As caregivers we may feel like we have ownership of the space. We need reminders that we’re guests in someone’s home, even if we’ve worked with them for years.

    BLOOM: You have fun Do Not Disturb door cards. Could a professional or parent request them to share with youth?

    Kristyn White: They were created out of a need. People told us caregivers or support workers were coming into their room and not knocking. We decided to find a cute solution. I hand them out when I teach classes and at trade shows. They’ve been really popular. Yes, someone could e-mail me about getting some.

    BLOOM: Your free, nine-module curriculum is fabulous. It’s very comprehensive and I think it would be useful for any youth, with or without disabilities. Why was it initially created?

    Kristyn White: It’s been about 10 years in the works. It stemmed from a need for more education. We were supporting complex folks who were dealing with a range of different life situations. A vast majority of people we were supporting had experienced sexual violence in some way. On the other side of things were people who were interested in sex and dating and masturbation, and maybe were doing things that were getting them in trouble. 

    We wanted to provide sex-positive, inclusive education for free. We wanted to make sure the rights of people with disabilities are being upheld. People deserve to have this information and it’s also important for caregivers and parents and health professionals.

    We focus on the different types of learning styles out there. So with one topic we might have a discussion with participants, as well as watch videos and use visual resources. There’s a lot of repetition. For example, we talk about consent in almost every module, and that’s very intentional.

    The curriculum is a facilitator’s guide, and you can adapt it. If it’s too complex, you can pare it down and take little pieces as needed.

    We hired actors with disabilities for our videos so there’s that visual representation.

    BLOOM: Is this a curriculum that anyone could download and use?

    Kristyn White: It’s free to download. We’ve had people from Australia, Japan, India, all over Europe, the states and Canada download it. We also do virtual train-the-trainer workshops.

    BLOOM: Has anything surprised you about the response of participants when you lead the course?

    Kristyn White: I am always surprised by the information people do have. Attendees often have so much experience, knowledge and stories that they want to share. I’ve learned a lot from them.

    I’ve been surprised by how lonely people are. People crave relationships and connection and that really shows in the class. People are very interested in dating and friendships.  It’s been eye-opening to me how important relationships are, whether they’re romantic or not. And people’s willingness to learn and be open and honest. 

    BLOOM: I printed out the modules. Wouldn’t it be helpful for all health professionals to do that and familiarize themselves with the material?

    Kristyn White: Yes, I would 100 per cent agree. It’s still such a tricky conversation for most people so just having the information is a good first step. We don’t want professionals to be shocked in a situation, and shock takes over and they’re not sure how to handle things.

    BLOOM: I had a friend who went to a sexuality workshop for parents of autistic youth, and they talked about providing your child with a masturbation kit. I can’t remember what was in the kit, but is that something you do?

    Kristyn White: That’s not something we offer in the course. But I know it’s something many support workers may address individually with the person they work with. They may buy them a sex toy or talk about lubricant or show them how to use a sex toy on a model.

    Part of being sex-positive is being supportive not just of people who want to have sex, but also of people who don’t want to have sex. We have both come to our classes.

    BLOOM: You said it was important to understand sexuality from a rights perspective. You included a quote from the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities about people with disabilities being entitled to sex education, partners and being parents. 

    Kristyn White: This is information a lot of people don’t have. It wasn’t until I started my master’s research that I learned that people have a right to pleasure, to companionship and relationships and sex, if they want those things. 

    Sometimes people are being denied their rights and we’re not even aware that we’re denying those rights. 

    BLOOM: I’m imagining that expressing your sexuality may not be encouraged in group homes?

    Kristyn White: Many organizations with group homes do incredible work in supporting people with disabilities. However, some still operate with outdated, restrictive care models that echo past institutional practices. In some settings privacy may be limited and policies can restrict personal expression, including the expression of sexuality. 

    BLOOM: What do you say to a parent whose child has more complex disabilities? And they’re concerned that they may set them up for disappointment if they present dating and sex as an expected part of their life?

    Kristyn White: I’m sure a lot of parents feel that way. This isn’t my area of specialization, but I’m doing a research project about sexuality in people with complex physical disabilities. 

    Some people have said ‘I’ll never be able to have a relationship or sex.’ I don’t know how to go about changing stigma. I do know people who have found relationships and ways to connect with people that aren’t as traditional as the relationships I might have. And I find people say they still want the information. 

    BLOOM: How do you prepare youth for the stigma they may face in the dating world?

    Kristyn White: We have a lot of conversations about finding the right person to date. And being frank with people that if someone is making fun of you, whether it’s your body or your looks or weight or disability, then they’re not the one for you. 

    I haven’t met anyone who isn’t well aware of the stigma placed upon them. Many have experienced bullying or some type of sexual abuse.

    BLOOM: You talk about pornography in the curriculum in a non-judgmental way.

    Kristyn White: Yes. This is a topic that parents and caregivers can be apprehensive on. I always tell people that watching porn is very normal, and not wanting to watch it is also okay. We talk about what porn is: any video or picture or media or written content involving people doing sexual things for entertainment or pleasure. We talk about how it has to be watched in private, and can’t involve someone under 18. And that if you see something that makes you feel uncomfortable, or that is violent, to talk to someone you trust.  

    Go to Tell It Like It Is to read and download the sexual health and wellness course. Kristyn White can be reached at kristyn@inclusionregina.ca

    Like this content? Sign up for our monthly BLOOM e-letter, follow BLOOM editor @LouiseKinross on Twitter, or watch our A Family Like Mine video series.

     

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  • Supermom In Training: 7 Ways to make your house Halloween-ready in 10 minutes or less

    Supermom In Training: 7 Ways to make your house Halloween-ready in 10 minutes or less

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    Now is not the time to spend hours in the stores shopping for festive Halloween decorations – and besides, with everything going on, who has the time?! So, here are 7 ways to make your house Halloween-ready in 10 minutes or less.

    Ghosts outside

    Put a plastic or styrofam ball on top of a bamboo gardening stake, then cover with a white plastic tablecloth or sheet. Stick into the ground.

    Tattered garbage bags

    Take black garbage bags and shred them. They can be hung around exterior doorways and overhands, or along roof eaves, to give a haunted, billowing effect.

    Spiderwebs

    Spiderwebs scream Halloween – spread them across corners of rooms and doorways inside, and along bushes and small trees outside. A few plastic spiders will make them uber-creepy.

    Lightbulbs

    Change up the lightbulbs on your front porch or in your backyard to purple, green or black.

    Music

    Go on YouTube and crank up the classics: Monster Mash, Time Warp, and Thriller. Don’t forget the spooky soundtracks too.

    Games

    Set up a big bowl of water and apples for some bobbing fun (you can also thread donuts onto a string and hang the string up). Stack toilet paper rolls that have ghost faces drawn on them and see how many you can knock down with a ball. You can also find slews of easy minute-to-win-it games on Pinterest.

    Pumpkin carving station

    Stock up on some pumpkins and let everyone’s creativity run wild. You can carve the pumpkins, draw on them with Sharpies, or paint them. Stuff some clothes with newspaper and make a pumpkin-headed man for the yard. Display them on social media. And, if you want to get competitive, invite friends to vote on their favourite.  

    A full-time work-from-home mom, Jennifer Cox (our “Supermom in Training”) loves dabbling in healthy cooking, craft projects, family outings, and more, sharing with readers everything she knows about being an (almost) superhero mommy.

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  • I’m Going Through Huge Life Changes, I’m Glad I’m Single Through It All

    I’m Going Through Huge Life Changes, I’m Glad I’m Single Through It All

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    My youngest will be moving across the country in a few months, so my nest will be empty very soon and honestly I don’t feel ready. I heard moms are never completely ready. In fact, my dear friend who just went through an empty nest told me to make sure I prepare for it early,

    Don’t wait until they’re all gone to fill up the space and time you’ll have. Plan for it now.

    I’m glad I’m single working through the changes in my life now. (Katie Bingham Smith)

    I sold and bought a new home on my own

    A few months ago I decided it was time to sell my kids’ childhood home. The thought of living here in this house that’s too big with so much land to take care of was overwhelming to me. I’ve never sold or bought a home by myself–-my ex-husband was always there with me and we did it together.

    I was scared and not sure what to expect but I did it, we are under contract, and I’ve found a new home that I absolutely love. It was freeing to do it on my own and not have to consider anyone else’s opinions. It was fun to pick out a place that was perfect for me and everything I wanted and work in a time frame that was good for me. 

    The changes didn’t stop there. I’ve been a writer for almost ten years now, and lately with my kids gone, I’ve felt isolated and I’ve been craving more connection. I also have a deep need at this age to make a difference in peoples’ lives and help them. I loved my career as a writer when my kids were younger because it allowed me so much flexibility. I didn’t miss a thing. I made it to every game, practice, school dance, and the highlight of my day was getting to and from school every day. 

    Now that my kids are gone I’m ready for something new

    But now that that routine is gone and, while I’ll always write because I love it so much, I know for my mental health I need to get out of the house more. I need more variety in my life so I want to try some different things and start a new challenge. I still don’t know what that will be but whether I get a part time job, or start a completely different career, I need to do something different. And the beauty of it is, I can do whatever I want.

    Do you see where I’m going with this? It may sound selfish to some people, but at fifty years old while I’m going through so many different transitions, I’m glad I don’t have a partner’s feelings to consider because I can literally work and live wherever I want.

    I can take a month to travel. I can volunteer for a year and figure out my next career move. I can rent a studio apartment if I want. I can move to a different state. I can sell everything I own and completely start over because everything is up to me.

    If I had a partner I would have to consider what they wanted

    If I was married or in a relationship, of course, there would certainly be a lot of perks. The support and love of another person is amazing. But they might not want to do the things I want to do. They might not want to move or travel or sell their things. 

    So I’m looking at the bright side of things here. And I see a huge silver lining to completely reinventing myself and starting over. There’s freedom in coming and going as I please and finding a new place to live without having to take someone else’s feelings into consideration. 

    I can wallow in self-pity or embrace change

    I never thought I’d be in this place; facing an empty nest and midlife alone with so many decisions at my feet, but here I am. I can wallow in self pity because all these transitions are unsettling or I can embrace the fact that this is a chance for me to do whatever the heck I want without answering to anyone. 

    I haven’t been at this pace since I graduated college almost thirty years ago. And you know, I’m not that bad at it. It’s coming back to me pretty easily, and I feel empowered and happy even though I’m not sure what the future has in store for me. These last few months have shown me I’m pretty excited and wouldn’t have it any other way. 

    It’s funny how even if life doesn’t look the way you thought it would, everything really does work out.

    More Great Reading:

    Midlife Is When You Should be Reaching for Your Goals, Like this Mom

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    Katie BinghamSmith

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  • Supermom In Training: 13 Tunes you need on your Halloween soundtrack

    Supermom In Training: 13 Tunes you need on your Halloween soundtrack

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    A Halloween celebration wouldn’t be complete without the right spooky music. Here are 13 tunes you need on your Halloween soundtrack to keep the frightful fun going all night long.

    Thriller

    Monster Mash

    Time Warp

    Little Red Riding Hood

    Ghostbusters theme song

    I Put A Spell On You

    Superstition

    The Adams Family theme song

    Hells Bells/Highway To Hell 

    Bad Moon Rising

    Sympathy for the Devil 

    Zombie

    Black Magic Woman

    A full-time work-from-home mom, Jennifer Cox (our “Supermom in Training”) loves dabbling in healthy cooking, craft projects, family outings, and more, sharing with readers everything she knows about being an (almost) superhero mommy.

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  • The Sunken Manor in Greenville, SC is Uniquely Terrifying Haunt!

    The Sunken Manor in Greenville, SC is Uniquely Terrifying Haunt!

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    It’s the Halloween attraction you never knew you needed. A brand new Haunted House meets escape room at The Sunken Manor! We had the chance to go and were blown away. Thank you to the Sunken Manor for inviting us to their terrifying attraction! 

    The Sunken Manor is a brand new Haunted House, started by a local family who have created a complex Halloween attraction. Complete with a sinister backstory linked to the very house that the scares happen in! If you love Halloween, jumpscares, or have teens who are ready to tackle bigger scares, this place is for you! Plus, they have scare-themed events throughout the year!

    About The Sunken Manor 

    The Sunken Manor was started in 2024 by a local family, and this is its very first Halloween season! The family has owned the house since December and has been making this haunted house a reality since then. 

    Located in Travelers Rest, this manor is uniquely built directly into the side of a hill. (Hence the “Sunken” name). Parking, entrance, and check-in are all on the property. And as you check in you actually are standing on the roof of the manor! Super trippy, super spooky, and a perfect way to begin the whole experience. 

    The Sunken Manor Scare Actors

    The Backstory 

    The creators of The Sunken Manor have created a complex backstory for the haunted attraction and for the house itself, and some elements are inspired by true events! They have a QR code at the entrance that will take you to a video on their website that tells the chilling tale of the Sunken Manor, and what may hide beneath its depths. 

    We won’t give anything away, but the backstory adds so much depth to the whole experience, and there may even be some easter eggs in the video to look out for once you enter the attraction 😉  

    It’s also a great activity to kill time while waiting in line! That is, if you’re not being terrorized by the scare actors who join you as you wait. 

    The Details About the Haunted House 

    Sunken Manor begins before you even enter the attraction. As you buy your tickets scare actors are wandering the parking lot. I personally got followed by a spooky bat. As you wait in line there is a scary clown, a spooky scarecrow, and one of those scarers who slide on knee pads to scare you. And this is all before you even enter the house. 

    Once you enter the house you are sat down in a creepy dining room that transports you back into a time gone by. The host explains some of the backstory and the escape room aspect of the whole experience. Then before you know it, you are ushered out, and into the terrifying depths of the Sunken Manor. 

    In the attraction, you have to navigate through a series of rooms, each with its own unique theme and interactive scare actors. There are over a dozen, but here are some of the standouts: 

    • An old-timey living room where you have to search for the clue to escape.
    • A dark maze where you have only a flashlight to try and catch a hidden scare actor (we had to SPRINT to catch him)
    • A dining room full of cannibals, and YOU have to free their next victim 
    • A clown lair with puzzles and games you must complete to escape 
    • A circus tent where you get chased by a chainsaw-wielding clown 
    • A little girl’s bedroom where you have to read her a bedtime story that slowly comes to LIFE. 

    And more! But we don’t want to give too many spoilers. But that is what to expect when you enter the depths of The Sunken Manor! From the time that we entered the Manor, to the time we sprinted out, took about 25-30 minutes! 

    The Sunken Manor in Greenville SC

    Best Ages

    This is definitely an attraction geared towards teenagers and adults because of the in-your-face scare actors. As an adult, I was scared. There are loud noises, fog machines, strobe lights, scare actors yelling at you, and even a section where you have to chase a scare actor through a dark room. 

    But, you may have an especially brave 8-year-old who is ready to tackle all of these things. So it is up to your judgment and knowledge of your own child. But I will give you all the heads-ups and warnings you need to make an informed decision! 

    So what is a good age? It is best suited for teenagers and adults, but you know your kids better than I do! It totally depends on your kid. 

    Tips for enjoying The Sunken Manor

    Here are a few things we’d suggest before going to the Sunken Manor!

    • Wear closed-toe, sturdy shoes. 
    • The line to enter The Sunken Manor is outside, so wear layers! 
    • Arrive early to avoid long lines.
    • There are lots of strobe lights and flashing lights, so be prepared for that. 
    • Prepare for enclosed spaces. If you are claustrophobic or uncomfortable with that, then this may not be the attraction for you!
    • The actors will get VERY close to you. You will also be trapped in rooms with them.
    • This is a high scare attraction and is inside a house versus an outdoor trail with many exits. We would only advise taking older children who have completed other scary attractions successfully. 
    • Ticket prices range from $25 – $35 (if you want the express lane ticket).

    Upcoming Events at the Sunken Manor

    The Sunken Manor will open to host other events during the year. They plan to host a scary Valentine’s Day event and a family-friendly (non-scary) Easter event and Holiday event in 2025. We will add additional information as it’s available.

    Our Overall Review 

    We thought Sunken Manor was one of the most unique and scary attractions we have experienced in the Upstate. The underground set up of the original house combined with the puzzles and unique themes of each room kept the suspense running. We highly recommend you check it out this year if you enjoy intense haunted attractions.

    The Underground Farm
    The Sunken Manor 
    2185a Keeler Mill Rd. Greenville SC 29617 

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    Bethany Winston

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  • “I Learned I Couldn’t Trust Myself, Then I Found I Had Undiagnosed ADHD.”

    “I Learned I Couldn’t Trust Myself, Then I Found I Had Undiagnosed ADHD.”

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    Unreliable. Unpredictable. Unfathomable.

    These are the qualities of an untrustworthy person – qualities I lived and breathed while (trying) to manage my undiagnosed ADHD.

    ADHD – especially untreated – is a condition of inconsistency. We’re inexplicably “on” one day and “off” the next. It causes us to struggle to understand our behaviors and work out why we did (or didn’t) do something.

    I’d say one thing but do another; make a plan, then forget it. I’d blurt out random things and make the simplest mistakes. I was scared to make future commitments because I couldn’t be sure what I’d be like when the day arrived – brilliant, or so off that it was hard to leave the house.

    I was inconsistent in mood, attention, behavior, focus, and even goals. I had no inkling that there was any pattern to it. I wanted to do interesting things but committing to something out of the ordinary – like writing this blog post – risked months of dread, guilt, and procrastination.

    A lifetime of inconsistency led to some strange consequences. Making even a small error would trigger an intense emotional reaction. Around other people, I tried to stay quiet, to hold in the ‘weirdness.’ And I’d check my work again, again, and again.

    [Read: Intention Deficit Disorder – Why ADHD Minds Struggle to Meet Goals with Action]

    Why Don’t I Trust Myself? The Roots of Inconsistency

    Before I knew anything about ADHD, I thought I had a clear picture of the root of my problems: anxiety and low self-confidence. I worked my way through the go-to tools: cognitive behavioral therapy, books about social skills, special breathing techniques, you name it. I even read Self-Esteem for Dummies.

    Over the years, it all helped. But while I could stand up straighter, smile at myself in the mirror, and name three of my greatest qualities, I still was caught in spirals of procrastination, zoning out, obsession, and impulsiveness.

    My old friend anxiety kept my brain awake enough to let me drive a car, find my keys, and pay my bills. Low self-confidence kept me out of sticky situations but led to a smaller life over time.

    Then I heard about inattentive ADHD and what it looks like in women. Many, many hours of research later, I was finally able to make sense of my experiences and actions. As I learned about executive dysfunction and common support strategies, I was able to recognize those I was already using – and where I was tripping myself up.

    [Read: Your Regret Won’t Change the Past. These Tips May Save Your Future.]

    But I was also assured that my brain would inevitably function fabulously in certain situations. The wealth of insight around the web from people who live with ADHD nudged me toward greater self-awareness. (After I read on the web that an unofficial trait of ADHD is argumentativeness, I asked a friend if that applied to me. He laughed in my face – I think that’s a yes.)

    I learned how to plan my day in a way that my brain can “see.” I do things at a pace and plan that works for me. For example, rather than write this blog post in one sitting, I’ve taken to writing it in multiple locations, while wearing ear plugs, for 15 minutes at a time, while checking in on my emotional state. No matter the task, I regularly ask myself, “How does my ADHD play into this?” and “What will make this task easier for Future Me?”

    Learning to Trust Myself – Even with ADHD

    I’ve experienced some unexpected changes now that I trust myself more. For one thing, I now believe that it’s okay to make mistakes. I can calm down after the inevitable Big Feelings, and I know how to motivate myself to make amends. I even have an “oops quota” – if I go over my limit, I know it’s a sign that I need to tweak my systems. My ADHD-friendly systems take care of me, and I take care of them.

    I can also now resist the urge to apologize for being the way I am. True, if you say, “How are you?” I may tell you in exquisite detail, or I may stare at you and not be able to think of a response. So what? I’m learning the words to explain why I do what I do, without framing it as a deficit. I want to get good at standing up for my right to be myself.

    Perfection isn’t a prerequisite for self-trust (or to gain the trust of others). It’s consistency in another form: knowing that I do my best, learn from my mistakes, practice honesty, and pull through most of the time. Understanding my version of ADHD has transformed my ability to trust myself.

    Learning about ADHD not only solved the mysteries of my inconsistency, but it helped ease my anxiety and increase my confidence. It released me from the fear that I was simply a bad person. It freed me up to create new, better stories about myself. Now, I can be pretty sure that if I say I’ll do something, I’ll probably do it… like writing this blog post!

    Why Don’t I Trust Myself? Next Steps


    SUPPORT ADDITUDE
    Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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    Nathaly Pesantez

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