Category: Family & Parenting

Sorority rush (AKA “recruitment”) just ended, and I feel I have endured the worst 10 days of my parenting life. I do not typically make such bold, dramatic statements. This experience has changed me, hopefully temporarily, into a strange and not very fun person to be around. I was in a sorority but did not place extreme importance on my daughter being in a sorority. She wanted to go through a rush, and I expected it to be difficult.

Preparing for sorority rush

My daughter has had experience with anxiety throughout adolescence, but nothing prepared her (or me) for the intensity of rush. Trying to dissect this experience is challenging, and unless you’ve been through rush, this article may not make sense. But if you are going through it with your daughter or have just finished and are experiencing PTSD due to this process, maybe this will resonate. My reactions along the way surprised me, and I confess I am not very proud of some of my thoughts and feelings.

So your daughter wants to rush, and you attempt to help her prepare. You track down women in sororities at her school and are willing to write “recs” (letters of recommendation). You shop with your daughter for clothes and then let her shop more with friends because she wants some outfit options.

Suppose your daughter is enrolling in a big university. In that case, rush will likely start before classes begin, so you load up the car 5-7 days before the majority of the student body and move her into her dorm, rush wardrobe hanging in her closet, shoes lined up neatly. You leave her, go home, read all the articles about dropping off your child at college, and try not to be too sad.

The cuts begin

Rush begins the very next day. You feel anxious because you’ve done this yourself (or maybe not!), but you feel hopeful, excited, and proud of your daughter for being brave enough to go through this process. If she is introverted, she should be highly commended for putting herself out there. Whatever happens, she’ll meet amazing people. She is confident and social, this will be just fine.

Your daughter completes Round 1, and it sounds like a frantic marathon of going from house to house with a group of other girls, having all sorts of quick conversations, like 8 hours of speed dating.

Then Round 2 comes, where the hopeful girls all show up, dressed and ready to receive their schedules, including only those sororities that invited them back. This may be the morning you get the first phone call or text that leaves you reeling.

How could anyone have cut my daughter already? This early? Well, there are still some options on her schedule. You get on Facebook, which you were not going to do, and find other moms looking for answers. Some moms share some pretty painful information, which you appreciate, but you do not share any disappointments publicly because your daughter would be mortified if you did. This is her journey.

You do not judge the moms who share because they are looking for support, and you want to unload also. You don’t, but you read responses. Some experienced moms will offer words of encouragement. “Trust the process,” they say. You find this comforting because rules and logistical feats must be followed to “process” 1500 girls through 16 sorority houses.

“Trust the Process” becomes your least favorite phrase

The rounds continue, each one bringing more cuts. And at some point during rush, “trust the process” becomes your least favorite phrase in English. Your daughter is cut from houses where she had great conversations, and when she calls you crying, you will no longer trust the process. This process has led to that voice in her head “you are not likable enough, you are not cool enough, you are not outgoing enough. YOU. ARE. NOT. ENOUGH.”

Your daughter is not a product on an assembly line, “processed” and plucked off because of a defect. She is still your beautiful, brave, smart, social or introvert, laid-back or peppy, passionate or carefree, athletic or otherwise talented, amazing daughter. So you will say, “I HATE THE PROCESS!!!!”

Ahhh, but you cannot because the show must go on, there are rules to follow, and your brave daughter wants to continue the, uh, process.

You now find yourself on the Facebook parent page several times a day because you are becoming consumed by this, trying to stay hopeful and following others’ stories. You might post an article about rush describing how God has a plan because this article helped you, and maybe it will help another mom. This is the religious equivalent of “trust the process.”

While you believe deeply that God has a plan, you forget that God never has a plan for judgment and rejection or anything that makes your beautiful daughter feel she is “not enough.” This article may explain that quite well, but you realize the message could be missed. You regret posting that stupid article because you’ve lost faith in God’s plan and actually in all humanity at this point.

Your mental health deteriorates further, and you find yourself speaking a new language, phrases like “bottom tier sorority” and “suicide on pref day” will come out of your mouth. These are not phrases you would have used a week ago when you were still a functioning, relatively stable, mature adult.

You may not sleep, cry at every rejection, and find yourself having trouble being happy for other girls’ successes. You may watch Bachelor in Paradise as a distraction and find the rose ceremony “cuts” hits too close to home. You may cry because it is just too real. At this point, you have lost all reasoning.

Bid day finally arrives with sorority rush results

If your daughter makes it to the end, the grand finale, also known as Bid Day, you will not sleep the night before, and you will carry your phone everywhere, waiting for the text. Your daughter may get her top choice. If the process worked for your daughter, you would feel joy on this day (and you probably quit reading this article several paragraphs back). If your daughter has already faced major rejection/cuts, you will have no optimism left.

She may get her second choice but still, try to make the best of it. She may have “suicided” by listing only one sorority from which she would accept a bid. She may get no bid at all, in which case you will get the call VERY early in the morning or the night before because the people in charge have some sliver of common sense to protect the girls who are completely cut at Bid Day.

You may get a text that says, “I got XYZ, I am trying not to cry,” or “My roommate XYZ and I got ABC, trying not to cry.” You may feel a grief so deep it should be embarrassing. The part of your brain that controls logic and reasoning and knows that in the scheme of life, this is not THAT important will be silenced by the emotions you are feeling (and the lack of sleep). Because for this moment, the result is EVERYTHING… you have spent days in a vacuum, with years of anxiety-inducing moments all crammed into a week, and your daughter’s mental well-being, and yours, have been through the wringer.

Perhaps even your husband, your very reasonable, emotionally stable husband, will be wandering around with a forlorn look on his face, muttering, “I didn’t know it would be like this.” And you wonder, “now what?!?”

My daughter did not get her happy ending

I have no answers yet. It is 3 days after Bid Day, and my daughter did not get her happy ending. And although this is my story, this is HER story to tell, to live, to re-write how she chooses so that I will remain anonymous.

She is keeping her chin up and still determining whether she will stick with the sorority that gave her a bid. Are these her people? Is this worth the time and expense? Does she want to be labeled by Greek letters? In the meantime, she is hanging out with friends who did not go through rush, dropped out of rush, got the second choice, or got the top choice. I am so proud of her!

I could use a little more work and will continue to lean on trusted friends and my faith. I will encourage others to trust their daughters, trust their faith, trust their instincts, but I will never, ever tell anyone to trust the process.

The author of this post wishes to remain anonymous.

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Helping Your Daughter if Sorority Recruitment Doesn’t Work Out for Her

Night terrors are a type of sleep disturbance where a person suddenly wakes up screaming, sweating, or looking terrified, often without being aware of it. Unlike nightmares, night terrors usually occur in the deeper stages of sleep and can leave the person confused.

This condition can happen to anyone, but it is more common in children. Many parents mistake it for bad dreams, but night terrors disease is actually different from regular nightmares and needs to be understood better.

Night Terrors in Children

Night terrors in children are more common than most parents realise. A child experiencing this may suddenly sit up in bed, shout, or thrash around. The scariest part for parents is that the child often does not respond when spoken to and may not even remember the episode the next day. While night terrors disease can be alarming, it is usually not harmful to the child. These episodes tend to fade as children grow older, although they may sometimes continue into adolescence.

Why Children Experience Night Terrors

The exact reasons for night terrors in children are not fully understood. However, sleep deprivation, stress, and even fever can trigger an episode. Genetics also play a role, meaning if parents had night terrors, their children may also experience them. Unlike nightmares, night terrors in children happen in non-REM sleep, making it harder to wake the child up during an episode. Source

Night Terrors in Toddlers

Night terrors in toddlers can be even more challenging because toddlers cannot communicate what they feel or recall the event. Parents might see their toddler crying, screaming, or looking extremely distressed, but the child is actually still asleep. Night terrors in toddlers usually happen in the first few hours of sleep and can last for a few minutes to half an hour. While parents often feel helpless, the best approach is usually to ensure the child is safe and let the episode pass naturally.

How Parents Can Handle It

When night terrors in toddlers occur, the instinct is to comfort the child. However, trying to wake a toddler during an episode can make things worse. Instead, ensuring the sleeping environment is safe is key. Removing sharp objects, making sure the bed area is secure, and maintaining a consistent bedtime routine can reduce the chances of night terrors disease.

Night Terrors Disease and Its Causes

Though many people call it night terrors disease, it is not a disease in the typical sense. It is a sleep disorder. Factors such as irregular sleep schedules, fever, stress, or certain medications can trigger it. For children, overstimulation during the day or even a new environment can lead to night terrors. In adults, alcohol use, sleep deprivation, or mental health conditions can be linked to it. While night terrors disease does not usually require medical treatment, persistent episodes may need attention from a sleep specialist.

When to Seek Medical Help

If night terrors in children or night terrors in toddlers are happening frequently and affecting the child’s daily life, parents should seek medical advice. Sometimes, underlying issues like sleep apnea or anxiety can make the condition worse. In rare cases, treatment such as therapy or medication may be suggested. Source

Tips to Prevent Night Terrors

Creating a calm bedtime routine is one of the best ways to reduce night terrors. Reading a book, dimming lights, and keeping a consistent sleep schedule can all help. Parents should also ensure children get enough rest during the day. For adults experiencing night terrors disease, reducing stress, avoiding caffeine late in the day, and limiting alcohol can make a difference. Safety is also important—since people experiencing night terrors may get out of bed, locking doors and removing hazards is a good precaution.

Long-Term Outlook

Most children eventually outgrow night terrors without any intervention. For adults, addressing lifestyle factors usually helps in reducing the frequency. Night terrors disease might sound frightening, but it rarely causes long-term harm. With the right awareness and care, it can be managed.

Summary!

Night terrors are unsettling but generally harmless sleep disturbances that affect both children and adults. Night terrors in children and toddlers are more common and often outgrown with age.

Night terrors disease may sound serious, but it is usually triggered by sleep patterns, stress, or environmental factors. Parents and adults alike can manage it by creating safe and consistent sleep routines.

While the episodes can be alarming, understanding the condition makes it less scary and easier to handle.

Hope you found this article helpful!!

Also Read: 60 Best Inspirational Quotes to Uplift, Motivate and Empower

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Rainy weather can sometimes feel like it’s putting a pause on fun. But let’s be honest, staying indoors doesn’t have to mean boredom. With the right rainy day activities, you can turn gloomy weather into the perfect opportunity for family bonding and creativity. Whether it’s keeping little ones entertained or ensuring they stay comfortable, planning ahead makes all the difference.

Why Rainy Days Can Be Fun

 Many parents dread long, rainy afternoons because children quickly run out of things to do. But in reality, rainy days open the door for imaginative play, learning opportunities, and some much-needed family time. The key lies in planning activities that are both engaging and easy to set up. These indoor rainy day ideas for kids don’t just keep them busy; they also help reduce screen time while creating cherished memories.

Creative Rainy Day Activities for Kids

When the rain is pouring outside, creativity thrives indoors. One of the most effective rainy day activities for kids is turning the living room into an art studio. Gather crayons, paints, or coloured pencils and encourage children to draw or paint their favourite scenes. For toddlers, finger painting can be an exciting sensory experience. If you want to mix fun with learning, try creating a storybook where kids draw characters and then narrate a short tale. These creative tasks not only fuel imagination but also help improve motor skills.

Crafting Fun Projects

Crafts are always a win when it comes to rainy day activities. Paper plate masks, cardboard forts, or homemade jewellery are simple yet engaging projects. Kids feel a sense of accomplishment when they see the final product of their efforts. And as a bonus, crafts usually require everyday items you already have at home, which means minimal hassle for parents. Source

Indoor Playtime Ideas

For children with lots of energy, indoor play is the answer. Games like hide and seek, treasure hunts, or obstacle courses using pillows and chairs are great examples of indoor rainy day ideas for kids. They allow kids to stay active, even without the outdoor space. Indoor picnics also bring an element of novelty. Spread out a blanket, serve snacks, and let the kids pretend they’re on an adventure. These little activities help keep the mood lively while the rain continues outside.

Storytelling and Reading Sessions

Books open doors to endless worlds, making reading sessions an excellent option for rainy day activities. Create a cosy corner with cushions and blankets, then dive into stories together. Parents can read aloud for younger children, while older ones can practice their reading skills. Storytelling also fosters bonding, and if kids are inspired, they can act out the stories afterward for some extra fun. Source

Balancing Fun with Care for Kids

While rainy day activities are all about entertainment, parents of younger children must also consider skin comfort. Damp weather can sometimes worsen skin conditions like itching and eczema, making it essential to keep skin dry and moisturised during indoor play. Simple adjustments, like using cotton clothing, keeping the room temperature balanced, and avoiding harsh soaps, can make indoor time more comfortable.

Gentle Activities for Babies

Babies may not be able to join in on complex crafts or games, but there are still plenty of rainy day activities suited for them. Soft play with plush toys, sensory bottles, or gentle music time can keep babies entertained.

Building Family Memories

Rainy days give families a chance to slow down and connect. Cooking simple meals together, building blanket forts, or even watching an educational movie as a family are great ways to make the day special. The best rainy day activities are those that everyone enjoys, regardless of age. These moments eventually become the stories children carry into adulthood.

Learning Through Play

Rainy day activities for kids don’t always have to be about fun alone. Board games, puzzles, and interactive learning apps can combine entertainment with education. When kids solve challenges or complete a puzzle, they feel proud while also sharpening their problem-solving skills.

Summary!

Rainy days may keep you indoors, but they don’t have to keep you from having fun. With the right mix of creative crafts, energetic play, reading, and thoughtful care, you can turn gloomy afternoons into moments of joy. Whether you’re looking for simple indoor rainy day ideas for kids or more elaborate projects, these rainy day activities will keep the whole family happy and entertained.

Hope you found this article helpful.

When your little one’s skin starts showing red, itchy patches, it can be quite worrying. Baby eczema is one of the most common skin conditions among infants, and while it looks uncomfortable, it is usually manageable with the right care. Parents often come across terms like infantile atopic dermatitis, eczema cream, and baby eczema treatment, and it can get overwhelming. To help you out, here are five things you should know that will make handling this skin condition much easier.

What is Baby Eczema?

 Baby eczema is a condition that causes dry, red, and itchy patches on your baby’s skin. It often appears on the face, scalp, arms, and legs but can show up anywhere. Infantile atopic dermatitis is another name you may hear for the same condition. It typically starts in the first few months of life and can flare up from time to time. Though it can look severe, most babies outgrow it as their immune systems develop.

Why Does It Happen?

The exact cause of baby eczema is not fully known, but it’s believed to be linked to genetics and environmental triggers. If you or your partner have a history of allergies, asthma, or hay fever, your baby might be more prone to infantile atopic dermatitis. Common triggers include certain soaps, fragrances, fabrics like wool, and even changes in weather. Understanding what sets off the flare-ups can help you take preventive steps. Source

Spotting the Signs Early

Parents often confuse eczema with a simple rash, but there are some tell-tale signs that help identify it. Infantile atopic dermatitis usually appears as rough, dry, scaly patches. Your baby might get cranky due to the constant itching. Unlike normal rashes, baby eczema tends to last longer and keeps coming back. Knowing these signs early allows you to start eczema treatment sooner, making your child more comfortable.

When to Consult a Doctor

Mild baby eczema can often be managed at home, but if the patches look infected—oozing, yellow crusts, or swollen—it’s time to see a paediatrician. A doctor can confirm whether it’s just infantile atopic dermatitis or another skin condition. They might suggest a prescription eczema cream or stronger treatment if over-the-counter remedies aren’t enough.

Best Ways to Manage Baby Eczema

Managing baby eczema doesn’t always mean complicated steps. Often, small lifestyle adjustments go a long way in easing your baby’s discomfort.

Skincare Routine

A gentle daily routine is key. Use fragrance-free, mild cleansers and keep baths short, ideally under 10 minutes. After patting the skin dry, apply a baby eczema cream generously to lock in moisture. This helps reduce itching and prevents the skin from drying further. Moisturising multiple times a day, especially after bathing, is one of the simplest and most effective forms of eczema treatment.

Avoiding Triggers

Once you know what causes flare-ups, avoiding them becomes part of your routine. Swap harsh detergents with hypoallergenic ones, dress your baby in breathable cotton, and keep the room temperature comfortable. Since infantile atopic dermatitis can be sensitive to sudden temperature shifts, try to maintain a stable environment for your baby. Source

Baby Eczema Treatment Options

There are different levels of baby eczema treatment depending on severity.

Home Remedies and Over-the-Counter Care

For mild cases, using eczema cream regularly and ensuring proper skincare is often enough. Some parents find that oatmeal baths or coconut oil help, though it’s best to consult your doctor before trying natural remedies.

Medical Treatments

If flare-ups are frequent or severe, your doctor may prescribe medicated baby eczema cream or ointments that contain mild steroids. These help bring inflammation under control quickly. In certain cases, oral medication or stronger topical treatments might be recommended. Infantile atopic dermatitis can be stubborn, but consistent care usually brings relief over time.

Living With Baby Eczema

As a parent, it can be disheartening to see your child uncomfortable, but remember that baby eczema is very common. With the right mix of daily care, baby eczema cream, and professional guidance, your little one can still enjoy a happy, healthy childhood. Infantile atopic dermatitis might seem like a long road, but most children see vast improvement as they grow older.

Summary!

Baby eczema may sound complicated, but once you know how to recognise it and take care of your child’s skin, it becomes manageable. From identifying triggers to using the right eczema cream and following suitable baby eczema treatment options, you can ensure your baby stays comfortable. Infantile atopic dermatitis might require patience, but consistent care makes all the difference. Hope you found this article helpful.

Also, Read 150+ Amazing One Syllable Boy Names List For Free!

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When it comes to building a family through assisted reproduction, IVF in Greece has become an increasingly attractive option for many in the UK. With shorter waiting lists, competitive pricing, and advanced fertility laws, it’s no surprise that couples and individuals are choosing Greece as their preferred destination. However, the real success of IVF abroad is not just about lower costs; it’s about making informed decisions that align with your goals, health, and emotional well-being.

Why So Many UK Patients Choose IVF in Greece

Over the past few years, the number of UK residents opting for IVF in Greece has grown significantly. According to European fertility travel data, Greece is among the top three destinations for fertility treatment in Europe, with an estimated 20–30% cost savings compared to UK clinics, and access to donor programs without long delays.

But beyond cost, Greece offers:

• Advanced fertility regulations: More flexible donor laws and wider treatment options.
• High success rates: Many clinics report live birth rates comparable or superior to the UK average.
• English-speaking staff: Making communication seamless for international patients.

Published: August 20, 2025 | Last Updated on: August 22, 2025
| by Hema

Festivals are incomplete without sweets, and Modak holds a special place, especially during Ganesh Chaturthi. While traditional modaks take time to prepare, here’s a healthy instant sweet modak recipe for kids that is both quick and nutritious. Made with wholesome ingredients, this version skips refined sugar and uses natural sweeteners, making it a guilt-free festive treat for little ones.

Health Benefits of Poha for Kids

Poha (flattened rice) is one of the lightest and most easily digestible foods, making it an excellent choice for kids. It’s versatile, quick to cook, and can be turned into delicious meals that little ones enjoy. Here are some key benefits:

• Easy to Digest – Soft and light on the stomach, perfect even for toddlers.
• Rich in Iron – Helps prevent anemia and supports healthy blood formation.
• Good Source of Carbohydrates – Provides instant energy for active kids.
• Gluten-Free – Safe option for kids with gluten sensitivity.
• Packed with Fiber – Supports digestion and prevents constipation.
• Versatile in Cooking – Can be made into porridge, upma, cutlets, or sweet dishes.
• Low in Calories – Keeps kids full without being heavy.
• Supports Growth – Provides essential nutrients when paired with vegetables, nuts, or milk.
• Balances Hydration – Since poha absorbs water during soaking, it helps keep kids hydrated.
• Boosts Immunity – When combined with spices like turmeric, curry leaves, and veggies, it adds to the child’s immunity.

Sweet Modak Recipe

Ingredients

• Poha (flattened rice) – 1 cup
• Jaggery powder – ½ cup
• Grated coconut – ¼ cup
• Cardamom powder – ¼ tsp
• Ghee – 1 tsp

Method

• Wash the poha, soak for a few minutes, and drain completely. Ensure there is no moisture left.
• Mash or knead the poha gently with your fingers so it becomes soft and lump-free.
• In a pan, heat ghee and lightly roast the grated coconut.
• Add jaggery powder and stir till it blends with the coconut.
• Add the mashed poha and cardamom powder. Mix well on low flame for 2–3 minutes.
• Cool slightly, grease palms with ghee, and shape into modaks using hands or mould.
• Steam on medium to high flame for 8–10 minutes.

This Sweet Modak Recipe for Kids is a quick, healthy, and fuss-free festive sweet. With the natural sweetness of jaggery, the goodness of poha, and the richness of coconut and ghee, these soft modaks are both nutritious and delicious. They are easy to prepare in under 20 minutes and are sure to delight little ones while keeping health in mind. A perfect offering for festivals and a wholesome treat for kids!

Healthy instant sweet modak recipe for kids

While traditional modaks take time to prepare, here’s a healthy instant sweet modak recipe for kids that is both quick and nutritious.

Print Pin Rate

Course: Dessert

Cuisine: Indian

Keyword: sweet modak recipe for kids

Ingredients

• 1 cup Poha (flattened rice)
• ½ cup Jaggery powder
• ¼ cup Grated coconut
• ¼ tsp Cardamom powder
• 1 tsp Ghee

Instructions

• Wash the poha, soak for a few minutes, and drain completely. Ensure there is no moisture left.

• Mash or knead the poha gently with your fingers so it becomes soft and lump-free.

• In a pan, heat ghee and lightly roast the grated coconut.

• Add jaggery powder and stir till it blends with the coconut.

• Add the mashed poha and cardamom powder. Mix well on low flame for 2–3 minutes.

• Cool slightly, grease palms with ghee, and shape into modaks using hands or mould.

• Steam on medium to high flame for 8–10 minutes.

Frequently Asked Questions

Move-in day is awful. There’s really no other way to put it. The chaos, the details, the heat, the stress, the mess, the emotions, the realization that over half of what you bought and brought will no way fit in the jail cell-sized room — it’s a DAY, let me tell you. We know there are things you might be expecting to do. Things you’ll be dying to do. And most likely, these are the exact things you should absolutely, definitively not do.

Sure, countless articles offer suggestions about practical things to do on move-in day, like bring snacks and make the bed last, but here is some honest, sage advice you won’t find anywhere else. Good luck!

11 things NOT to do on college move-in day

DO NOT:

1. Introduce your teen to their hallmates

Let them figure out independently and foster their friendships, no matter how much you think that boy you saw in the elevator wearing a Vikings jersey might have in common with yours. Don’t be the parent who is still setting up playdates with others. I know you’re just trying to be helpful, but like so many other situations, the best way to help is by staying out of it and letting your kid find his way.

2. Show up with fewer than 100 Command Strips and Hooks

Some parents bring extra snacks to share, but you be the hero with what they need.

3. Take over decorating

As someone with definite opinions on the symmetry of a wall collage, I get that this one might be difficult to step away from. But don’t forget that this is their space. Even if it bothers you that they hang the photo collage too close to the Good Vibes Only poster or that they put the fridge by the closet when it clearly fits better under the window, let them have control of their own space. I mean, unless they ask for your help, of course. Then go HGTV crazy on that room.

3. Give the roommate advice on decorating

If keeping your mouth closed about your kid’s unique décor decisions is difficult, please don’t think it’s okay to open it to tell the roommate her bulletin board is too high, no matter how constructive your delivery might be.

4. Lose your temper

This will increase in difficulty with every Command Hook that falls off the wall and everyone who tries to squeeze themselves into the cramped, unbearably hot room. But I believe in you.

5. Overshare

No matter how much you think, you’re just being chatty, telling the new roommate that your daughter snores like a freight train, gets gassy when she eats salad or still takes gummy bear vitamins because she can’t swallow big pills is a huge DON’T. Your teen may be especially sensitive on this day and will be mortified by anything you think is cute to share, so it’s best to smile, wave, and speak only when spoken to.

6. Day drink

If you need liquid courage to get through the trying times in your life, this may be a tough day for you to hop on the wagon, but seriously, climb aboard and stay away from the hooch, at least until dinnertime. Don’t give your kid the stigma of being the one with the buzzed parents who had G&T breath from the get-go.

7. Step in when it’s totally unnecessary

Your 18-year track record for enabling solving problems is a (shameful) source of pride, but it’s time to let your kid figure some things out for himself, especially in this situation. So if he’s wondering what time the floor meeting is or where to check out a vacuum, don’t jump up and “just run down and check,” no matter how much you want to be helpful.

Shrug your shoulders and let him get those questions answered for himself. Besides, if he tries to find out about the vacuum, he may use it once or twice. Just kidding.

8. Set up a webcam

And now I’ve given you an idea, haven’t I? Regardless of how tempted you are, you know it’s a preposterous idea. Because it crosses hard privacy and a general humane line, you ask? HA. No, because you’ve been to college. You know you don’t want to see what happens in that room.

9. Ignore who you are

While it’s important to let your kid take ownership of his room and solve his problems, YOU ARE NOT MADE OF STONE, and you know there is no chance you will (or should) deny or ignore the part of you who is dying to step in. So make that bed (good luck with the wall-side corners on that loft bed), put those clothes on hangers, arrange shoes in a neat but useless row, fold and refold towels, and most importantly, hug your kid throughout the day whenever he allows it.

10. Project your feelings

Listen, I know your mental state will be all over the damn place on move-in day, but guess what? So will your kids. Now, maybe more than ever, you need to be a calming presence and keep it together (as best you can, obviously). While sure, this day is a little about you; your kid doesn’t want or need to feel that. So put the sad, downer emotions back in their dark room, slap a smile on your face, and save the shit show for the car ride home. 

11. Prolong the goodbye

Yeah, this advice seems like crap; I get it. But think of it like this: pulling off a good, quality band-aid (not the cheap, generic kind) that’s been stuck to your skin for a few days is gonna hurt, no matter how you do it. But the truth is that the pain will be quicker if you suck it up and rip that sucker off. The drop-off goodbye is a lot like that. You won’t get around the pain — it’s impossible — but it’s a bit easier if you can keep it quickish (in my case, I compromised — 1 hug that lasted 12 minutes).

Then have that drink you denied yourself earlier in the day and toast to your fantastic kid, the ride ending, the one just beginning, and the fact that you could successfully get the sheets tucked in on that damn loft bed.

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Why Moms Cry When They Leave Their Kids at College 

There is a saying when your daughter decides to go through sorority recruitment, “Trust the Process.” It is said repeatedly throughout the rush preparation period. It basically means, keep moving forward and in the end, you will find your sisters, and the sorority that is meant for you. I never asked, “What happens to the girls who don’t get a bid?”  

Rush at many schools can be very daunting and full of emotion. It is not a “sign here” process. It is a selection process where not all young women get selected for the sorority that they want to belong to or, in some cases, any sorority at all. The term is “dropped.”  And it is a very painful, embarrassing part of rush that no one talks about. 

I am not going to debate the fairness or exclusivity of the process of rushing because there are people more qualified than I am to address that topic. This is solely about how to support your daughter when she is dropped during rush.

What parents can do when their daughter is dropped during rush

When a young woman is dropped during rush, she gets a call from her trusted advisor for the process. This trained upperclassman or possibly named “Gamma Chi” gently shares the difficult news. She cannot give your daughter any reason why she has been dropped by all of the sororities. All your daughter knows is that her journey towards sisterhood is now over. When that call ends, she is often left alone with little to no support system on campus.

As moms, is it our job to make sure our daughters know that they are smart, worthwhile young women who our valuable members of their college campus despite not being accepted by the Greek system.

Sadly, this happened to my daughter. My heart broke immediately as I read a 5:30am text, “I have been dropped.”  It felt like the rejection of thousands of girls on a new college campus that she had only been on for 3 days. 

Of course that isn’t how the process works exactly but it didn’t matter one bit. It is how she felt. My daughter was in a brand-new place with no real friends. I was at home helpless. I wanted to call every sorority house and yell at them that they missed out on a loyal, kind, great person. You might feel that way too. And that’s natural because I don’t care if your girl is 10, 18 or 28, when someone hurts your child, they hurt you too. However, the truth is, there is no one to call for answers. That is part of the difficultly in this situation. You will never know “why.” 

I got swept up in the excitement of sorority rush

I wish I had a “what if you are dropped” discussion before I had left my daughter at college. I was so confident in the high percent of bids given out each year that I never thought my daughter would be one of the few hundred who wouldn’t get one. I read the Facebook parent page posts with so much excitement that even pre-ordered a Bid Day Box. I admit that I got swept up in the excitement. 

A mom I meet online told that she had learned from her experience with her older daughter-be ready for anything during rush. Her older daughter had been dropped and was devastated. She almost left college because of it. 

This time around the mom was prepared. She had all the freshman week activities printed out with contacts for each. She had a discussion with her daughter beforehand so her daughter knew that if she were dropped, she would immediately pivot to freshman-week activities. Her daughter also knew that being dropped was a possibility. That mom did not pre-order a Bid Day Box. 

Talk to your daughter beforehand about the possibility of being dropped

After going through this experience, I recommend having a discussion with your daughter about rushing and the possibility of being dropped. If it does happen, first let your daughter cry. Know that she will feel that she is the only young women that has been dropped, even though there were many.

The girls who are dropped usually feel ashamed and embarrassed. Again, those percentage numbers made them feel like they did something wrong to not get a bid. Remind your daughter she did nothing wrong.

Tell her that you are going to be with her every step of the way to support her moving forward.  Remind her that her value was never wrapped up in an envelope on bid day. Acknowledge that this may hurt for a while but explain that she needs to get out of her dorm. Not every girl on campus is rushing even though it might feel way. 

Help your daughter identify other interests

What are your daughter’s other interests? Look on the campus website and find clubs that matches that her interests. Is there a girl on her floor or in the dorm who she can ask to have lunch or dinner with who is not rushing? Is there an RA she can ask about campus activities?

Try to put a plan in place with her for the next few hours. It might be very early when she first calls. Often the first call comes at 5am. Maybe you can watch a Netflix show together for a while or she can go back to sleep for a few hours. But do not let her stay in her dorm alone for too long. If she needs help figuring out what to say to her roommate, encourage her to be honest. She is going to be living with this young woman for next several months. It is better to not lie. My daughter told her roommate and it was nice for her to have a trusted friend in this process. 

There’s no shame in helping your daughter through this disappointment

One mom told me that she called the student union freshman coordinator and found out that there was a campus small group coordinator that got her daughter involved immediately in freshman activities. Many articles advise parents to let their new college freshman to do everything on their own. But that day this mom knew her daughter needed help.

There is no shame in being the mom that your child needs on day 3 of college. This was a true mental health issue. Her daughter got a very inviting call to join a group of students doing a “walk your schedule” tour.  For the next several days her daughter had scheduled activities that kept her busy. Yes, she was still sad. But she was getting to know her way around campus, making friends, learning about the non-Greek activities on campus and little by little finding some healing. 

Another mom I spoke with said she helped her daughter look up church-based groups on campus. She gave her the courage to reach out on her own to the President of one via social media. The President responded to her immediately and invited her to meet for lunch where she learned about their group as well as other ways help the local community. Getting involved in other activities helped her forget about sorority rush.

The weeks after her daughter was dropped were difficult for both mom and daughter  

I admit the next few weeks were difficult for both of us. I texted and called my daughter often. She had a hard time seeing the friends group forming among the girls in pledge classes and feeling left out. She went to several activities by herself and started to meet a few girls who did not rush. I was so proud of her for putting herself out there. 

It is too early to tell if my daughter will every truly feel like she belongs on this campus after her experience. I have read that some girls transfer soon after, some rush again, and others find friendships outside of Greek life. The other day she told me if she knew she would have not had positive rush experience, she would have chosen another university. I felt guilty that I allowed her to rush. I am sure I wouldn’t feel that way if everything had worked out perfectly, but it didn’t. And it doesn’t for hundreds of girls on campuses all over the country. 

A message to other moms in my shoes

To all the moms whose daughters called them crying or who will call them crying because they are dropped during rush, I want you to know, you are not alone. Your daughter is perfectly lovely. She deserved better. I am sorry that it didn’t work out the way you both envisioned. I know that it hurts a lot right now. That pain isn’t silly or trite. Now it is time to pivot to plan B.

Help your daughter find her new path. And when you hang up with her, know it is okay to cry that people have hurt her. I did. But when she calls, make sure you dry those tears because she needs you to show strength in moving forward, just like she always has because you are her mom..now and always.

P.S. Remember when we were worried about picking out a brand of diaper and thought that was the hardest decision? I sure miss those days. 

The author of this post wishes to remain anonymous.

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This Sorority Girl Was Okay With Her Daughter Not Rushing

I watched my son walk to my car last Friday after school. I love picking him up; there’s something about seeing him with his friends and the visceral relief you see in their smiles.

It’s nostalgic since I remember feeling the same way, but I love watching him and seeing him in a space different than the one he’s in when he’s with me and when he doesn’t think I’m paying attention.

My son doesn’t care how he dresses and his room is a mess

As he gets closer, I notice something smeared all over his white T-shirt. I have no idea what it is, but I’m sure he doesn’t care. He slept at his father’s last night, and as I ask him what’s all over his shirt, his brother and sister chime in. “He went to school like that,” they tell me simultaneously.

Of course, I could say something to his dad about it and fault him for letting his son arrive at school in such a state, but I don’t.

I know how their morning went well because I’ve had many confrontations with him about his clothing if he’s taken a shower or done his homework on time, and he doesn’t care. Not even a little bit.

It doesn’t bother him if he walks into school with stained clothing, an oversized whitehead on his nose, or the same pants he’s worn the last three days in a row. I don’t understand it, and we had many throwdowns about this and other subjects at a very early hour.

He keeps his room looking like a nightmare, and when I tell him to clean it up, it consists of him bringing down a sink full of dirty dishes and throwing everything else under the bed.

He doesn’t try hard in school

He doesn’t try hard in school despite being an intelligent kid who is excellent in math and science. At 15, I can’t read his penmanship, and he doesn’t put any effort into projects — he doesn’t care.

I’ve tried; I’ve taken him to counseling; I’ve loved him hard, and I’ve backed off.

And then…

There have been moments I’ve screamed at him, trying to get across how much I want him to care, how much I want him to live up to his potential, but it doesn’t help.

Nothing does.

If your teen doesn’t seem to care, you’re not alone

I’m telling you this because I want you to know that you aren’t alone if you have a teen who doesn’t give a flip about many things. I know so many teenagers out there are thriving and thinking about college and how many goals they will score in tonight’s game, and then there’s your kid.

They are good and kind and can be sweet, and, of course, you love them — it’s guttural and huge. But you wish they would care. You wish they’d shower more and not treat their room like a junkyard.

You wish they would live up to their potential in school and play ball because they have skills they are hiding.

You’ve tried it all, and nothing you do works, and it brings you to tears. You wonder if it’s something you’ve done, if you’ve pushed too hard or not enough.

But I have to tell you; it is not just your child.

So many moms are feeling this way despite what they post on social media or what they see on the field. Those are snippets from a highlight reel; it’s certainly not the whole story.

I know my son has gifts; he’s found a few but not all of them. I know he will in time; he’s not ready yet, and I’ve realized I can’t squeeze them out of him.

I’m not giving up on him

I’m not giving up; I’ve committed myself that I’d let him be because what I’m doing now, what his father is doing now, isn’t working. We are both baffled; we both did well in high school and couldn’t wait to go to college. Honestly, I wouldn’t have been caught dead walking around high school in a stained shirt, and if my room looked like his, I’d cry.

We raised him to be a good kid and a good adult; you have raised your kid to be a good human, too. I know you have.

That doesn’t stop because all our efforts are being blatantly ignored, but maybe we can give ourselves a damn break and realize we can’t force them to care about things they don’t. We want it to happen organically, of course, and I don’t think it’s going to if I keep shoving cleanliness, organization, working harder in school, and acne pads down his throat.

My son is lovely. He doesn’t skip school; he gets his work done by the skin of his teeth, and he takes care of me when I get sick since his father moved out.

But he doesn’t want to play sports; he couldn’t care less if he was wearing clean clothes or has deodorant on or if all his friends are in the National Honor Society, and he could be too if he tried just a bit more.

He lacks desire and motivation.

My son doesn’t care about many things right now, and if your child doesn’t either, let’s try and remember (together because I need support here) there are worse things.

As his mom, I’ve worried other people will notice his nonchalant attitude and think it means I haven’t shown up for him. Maybe you’re worried about that too. Perhaps you are worried about it at this very moment.

But mother to mother, let’s let go of that thought and the fact they could be doing so much more with their life right now despite our support and our nagging and focus on the positive things they bring to the table because there are many.

Please know, though, you aren’t alone; your child is not alone, and I feel they will be just fine.

The writer wishes to remain anonymous.

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Mom and Dad, Please Stick With Me

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As parents, we spend so much of our time trying to protect our kids from scraped knees, from mean classmates, from making the same mistakes we did. But some of the hardest moments come when we have to trust others to care for them: teachers, camp counselors, caregivers, even staff in youth programs or facilities.

Most of the time, things go as they should. But when something feels off, it can be hard to tell whether it’s just our own anxiety or something our child truly needs protection from.

While we can’t always be there to prevent harm in the moment, we can still protect our children in powerful ways — by staying aware of changes, asking questions when something doesn’t feel right, and creating a home where they feel safe being honest. Protection doesn’t always mean presence. Sometimes it means listening carefully, believing fully, and acting when it matters most.

Harm Can Happen Where We Least Expect It

When we leave our children in someone else’s care, at school, in a program, or even a state-run facility, we assume they’ll be treated well and kept safe. That’s often true. But there are situations where that trust is broken.

Adults in positions of authority don’t always act in a child’s best interest. And when the setting looks structured and professional, it can be harder to spot the warning signs. Children in institutional settings, like juvenile centers, are especially vulnerable. They may not have family around or anyone to notice when something isn’t right.

If a child comes home different, withdrawn, anxious, or quiet in a way they weren’t before, it can take time to understand what happened. Some families have faced the painful reality that someone in a position of responsibility harmed their child. When that harm occurs in a place like a juvenile facility, some have chosen to speak out or pursue justice through a juvenile center sexual abuse lawsuit, not just to hold people accountable, but to protect others from going through the same thing.

These stories are hard to hear. But being aware that they happen is part of how we stay alert, and part of how we protect our kids even when we’re not by their side.

Signs Something May Be Wrong

Teenagers aren’t always quick to share what’s bothering them, especially when something serious has happened. If a child has been harmed in a place where they were supposed to be safe, like a group home, school, or juvenile facility, they may try to carry it alone, thinking it’s better not to talk.

That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to small changes. A sudden drop in energy, unexplained anger, avoiding certain topics, or pulling away from family and friends can all be signs that something deeper is going on. Some teens stop talking about their daily lives. Others may appear anxious, overly self-critical, or seem physically unwell without a clear reason.

These behaviors don’t always mean a child has been abused. But they do mean something isn’t sitting right. If your child has spent time in a setting where adult supervision is expected, those signs deserve even more attention.

For a more specific list of red flags in teens, RAINN outlines warning signs of sexual violence that may help you recognize what’s happening sooner. Knowing what to watch for helps us show up before things get worse.

What Parents Can Do If They Suspect Harm

When something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. You don’t need proof to start asking questions.

Begin gently. Ask open-ended questions and let your child know they’re safe. Remind them that you’re there to listen, not to judge. Some kids will talk when they’re ready. Others may need time or a therapist’s support to open up.

If your child hints that something has happened, especially involving someone in a position of authority, take it seriously. Write down anything they’ve said. Make note of when you first noticed behavior changes. These details matter if you decide to seek outside help.

You don’t have to figure it out alone. A trusted professional can help guide you through the next steps, whether that means getting your child into counseling, filing a report, or simply understanding what’s going on beneath the surface. If you’re worried about the cost, this post on the frugality of mental health counseling may help you explore affordable options.

The most important thing is that your child knows you’re paying attention and that you believe them.

Final Thoughts: Trusting What You Notice Matters

We can’t always be with our children. But we can stay connected. We can notice what changes, ask questions, and create a space where our kids know they’re safe being honest.

No one wants to imagine that harm could come from a place meant to help. But if it does, being present and responsive is one of the strongest ways we protect them.

You don’t need all the answers. Your attention, your belief in your child, and your willingness to act are more than enough.