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  • Conveying a patient’s value is at the heart of a new approach to care

    Conveying a patient’s value is at the heart of a new approach to care

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    By Louise Kinross

    Last month Dr. Harvey Max Chocinov gave a fascinating lecture at King’s College, London, called Intensive Caring: Reminding Patients They Matter (click to watch and fast forward to 11:50). Harvey is a professor of psychiatry at the University of Manitoba and a world-renowned scientist who studies the emotional and psychological needs of people who are dying.

    In April, the Journal of Clinical Oncology published an article of his with the same name. It begins with this quote from Dame Cicely Saunders, the founder of the modern hospice movement: “You matter because you are you, and you matter to the last moment of your life.”

    This tenet is central to palliative care, Harvey writes, because terminally ill patients often feel hopeless and worthless, and that they’re burdening others.

    So it’s important that when they look to their clinician, they see a reflection in the provider’s eyes that affirms their value as a person, not “a problem checklist,” he says in his lecture.

    This resonated deeply for me as the parent of an adult with disabilities. It also reminded me of one of the principles of Humanistic Health Care at Holland Bloorview: All human beings are considered to be inherently whole.

    I reached out to interview Harvey, but didn’t hear back. So I decided to share some of his ideas and how they can apply in the world of children’s rehab.

    A number of years ago I read an article about “doorknob moments” in health care. Often, what most troubles or matters to a patient is hard for the person to divulge. So they wait until the end of the appointment, when the doctor has their hand on the doorknob, to blurt it out.

    I had a repeated doorknob moment when my son was a baby and toddler. I would wait until our pediatrician was opening the door to dash to his next patient to say: “Will my son lead a normal life?”

    I knew the doctor couldn’t answer the question, because my son had a rare genetic condition that wasn’t well studied, and it affected people in different ways. But still, I was compelled to keep asking.

    Years later I realized that I was using the word “normal” as code for “valuable.” Normal is valued in our culture, and disability isn’t. What I was really saying was “Does my son have value?” I knew he was a great kid, but I wanted someone in the medical field, someone in authority, to see him the way I did.

    Harvey refers to an earlier study of his in The Lancet that found that the way clinicians view terminally ill patients is the most powerful determinant of their sense of dignity or worth. “I’d always thought about good palliative care being about what we did to patients or with patients along with their families, and the data seemed to be telling us that the way that we see patients—what goes on between our ears as… health-care providers—is the most powerful determinant of whether or not dignity would be upheld,” Harvey says.

    Harvey describes an approach he calls “Intensive Caring,” which is a way of being with patients that reminds them of their value. He notes that the traditional field of intensive care focuses on patients in the most dire physical condition, but his approach targets patients in extreme emotional pain.

    The first element is non-abandonment. In his lecture, he talks about how clinicians who aren’t able to change the course of a patient who is suffering may feel helpless, which can lead them to withdraw.

    Something similar was found in a study of a six-week narrative group for inpatient rehab nurses at Holland Bloorview, published in the Journal of Nursing in 2018. “Moral empathic distress can be considered an internal state associated with nurses’ feelings of profound helplessness, which emerges when nursing interventions are unlikely to alleviate a pediatric patient’s physical pain or chronic condition,” the researchers wrote. 

    Harvey writes that when dying patients feel abandoned, they’re more likely to think about suicide. Research finds that a strong, ongoing connection between patient and oncologist is more likely to protect against suicidal ideation than mental-health interventions. “Hence the assurance of continued caring and support is a vital component of helping patients feel they matter,” he writes. He recounts one patient with end-stage brain cancer who felt hopeless and asked Harvey to help him die. Harvey said he would not hasten his death, but he would meet with him once or twice a week to learn more about him, and offer ongoing support. The patient later said: “These appointments are the only thing that keep me going!”

    Prior to narrative training, our Holland Bloorview nurses described a tension in balancing “direct nursing,” which included medical tasks, procedures and documentation, with providing emotional support, which they described as “outside my nursing hat.”

    After narrative training, Holland Bloorview nurses were more likely to recognize that when there is no medical solution, their emotional presence with patients and families is invaluable. They elevated kindness, listening, being flexible, trying not to judge, and providing a safe space to families as being on par in terms of importance with their medical tasks.

    The second element of Harvey’s Intensive Caring is a deep interest in the patient as a person. “Acknowledging personhood must follow principles of unconditional positive regard, conveying appreciation for who they are, what they are, and all they have tried to be,” he writes. 

    But how do you extract that kind of information? Harvey says studies “of the Patient Dignity Question, which asks ‘What do I need to know about you as a person to give you the best care possible?,’ find it “helps patients feel they are seen as whole persons, rather than the embodiment of their disease or disability.”

    Mining a patient’s stories can be part of this process.

    Years ago I heard Dr. Paul Browde, a New York psychiatrist and lecturer in narrative medicine at Columbia University, talk about how marginalized people often feel that they don’t have a story, or we reduce them to one story. In children’s rehab, it’s the medical or disability story.

    Paul shared this definition of the good life: “A good life is one richly described—a life about which many stories can be told.”

    I was intrigued by that definition, because it sounded inclusive. Maybe it could apply to my son, who won’t lead a conventional life. But then I thought: “Does that mean people with privilege have better lives, because they have more opportunities to create stories?” I reached out to Paul and he said: “No, it’s not about stories having a positive spin, but rather about excavating for many different stories to describe someone’s life, which makes the life richly-described, and that is a full life.”

    Bingo!

    I have used Paul’s words to explain in talks with medical students and clinicians why it’s so important for providers to uncover the rich stories of a child’s life.

    Family-centred care is based on the idea that each child and family has a unique story. When clinicians take the time to listen, to ask questions about what makes a kid tick, to ask about what has meaning for a family, they are conveying their value. These conversations help families embrace, rather than fight, being different.  

    The third element in Harvey’s Intensive Caring involves the clinician holding or containing hope for patients who feel hopeless. “This means expanding one’s therapeutic imagination to include the possibility that patients may find psychological, spiritual, and physical comfort, tolerable suffering, and for those near the end, a peaceful death,” he writes. Hope can also be found in the meaning of our relationships, and in thinking about how to craft caring goodbyes to loved ones.

    Intensive Caring demands a kind of therapeutic humility, Harvey says: “…relinquishing the need to fix, along with tolerating clinical ambiguity, accepting and honouring the patient as expert, and trusting in the process,” Harvey writes. “There are cancers that cannot be cured, depressions that resist treatment, and suffering whose intensity seems impenetrable. In those instances, the goal to fix can lead to feelings of failure and an inclination to withdraw.” 

    In Harvey’s journal article, he writes about a “tone of care” that affirms the patient’s value, “Being compassionate and empathic, being respectful and non-judgmental, being genuine and authentic, being trustworthy, being fully present, valuing the intrinsic worth of the patient, being mindful of boundaries, and being emotionally resilient.”

    It sounds very similar to how our inpatient nurses described their role in providing emotional support.

    Like this content? Sign up for our monthly BLOOM e-letter. You’ll get family stories and expert advice on raising children with disabilities; interviews with activists, clinicians and researchers; and disability news.

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    lkinross

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  • 50 Things You Might Not Have Remembered for Your Dorm Room

    50 Things You Might Not Have Remembered for Your Dorm Room

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    We are going to assume you are set with things like sheets, towels, a laptop, and hangers but here are a few others you might want to consider. The caveat: most things can be delivered with free two-day shipping. 

    Note: We are a reader-supported site and may receive compensation from purchases made through some of these links.

    1. Unbreakable cups, bowls, and plates for take out or snacks
    1. Snacks
    1. A college oriented planner for learning time management 
    1. An electric tea kettle, if it is allowed, think hot chocolate, soup, and tea. 
    1. Diffuser or wall flower, no one needs to smell a dorm room
    1. A stocked medicine box
    1. Brita water pitcher
    2. A series of legal documents you should have in place after your student turns 18 
    1. A strong fan, unless they have A/C
    1. A zip up mattress pad or protector, yep those mattresses are not nice 
    1. A long charging cord, the outlets can be anywhere 
    1. A door stop, open doors help make new friends 
    1. A lap desk if your teen likes to work sitting on their bed
    1. A big backrest pillow, see above
    1. Flip flops, showers can be even worse than the mattresses 
    1. Desk lamp, if it isn’t provided 
    1. A letter from you to leave at drop off
    1. Laundry basket or bag that travels well to the machines  
    1. Blackout curtains if your teen struggles to sleep with sunlight 
    1. External battery for phones
    1. Dorm bed shelf 
    1. Mattress topper, our teens told us this was the best thing we bought them for college after their laptop
    1. Bathmat
    1. Rug if the climate is cold
    1. Air fryer, if allowed 
    1. Over Door Organizer Hooks for hanging wet towels
    1. IKEA bags, IKEA bags, IKEA bags
    1. Clothes steamer
    1. Command strips or hooks for hanging
    2. Water bottle
    1. Coffee maker, Keurig makes a tiny one
    1. Laundry pods
    1. Extra toiletries
    1. Backpack
    1. Microwave
    1. Headboard 
    1. Safe, if your child uses medications
    1. Extra phone charger 
    1. T-shirt quilt, lots of teens like these
    1. Posters or wall hangings
    1. Surge protector
    1. Raincoat or umbrella
    1. Lint roller 
    1. Elevated cart to lift a refrigerator off the filthy floor and provide storage
    1. Underbed storage
    1. A wipe erase board
    1. Weighted blanket, if your teen prefers one
    1. Ottoman for storage, friends to sit on, and a step stool onto a lofted bed
    1. Small flashlight, if there is a power outage you don’t want them using their phone
    1. Ear plugs, white noise, something to make sleeping easier

    More Great Reading:

    50 Things to Do Before You Send Your Teen to College

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    Lisa Endlich Heffernan

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  • Top Twelve Dorm Shopping Mistakes (2023)

    Top Twelve Dorm Shopping Mistakes (2023)

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    With high school graduation almost behind us, we are focused on the day we will drop off our youngest at their freshmen dorms. Though we prefer to ignore the inevitable, it’s time to prepare them for the tiny new living spaces that will be their home away from home.

    We were rookie moms five years ago and made our few rookie mistakes. Frankly, we bought many dorm stuff that our teens never used. This time, with experience, we hope to shop for our freshmen with more focus and less waste.

    We’ll also give you our thoughts on approaching what might be your last back-to-school shopping trip…in life.

    Here are the top 12 dorm mistakes. (Twenty20 @julesgane)

    Dorm room shopping: what not to do

    Note: We are a reader-supported site and receive compensation for purchases made through some of the links in this post. 

    1. Don’t treat the dorm shopping list like a K-12 school supply list

    My daughter’s college mailed a “What to Bring” checklist with seven categories and 82 items. Our advice—do not treat this like the supply lists from your child’s elementary school where, scavenger hunt-style, you dutifully checked off each item while wheeling a cart through Staples.

    Instead, concentrate on the most important items, true college dorm essentials. Everything can be picked up on move-in day or ordered online. Before you grab your keys or take out your credit card to add to your online cart, look at Dorm Room Shopping: 50 Questions to Answer, First. We guarantee it will save you time, money, and aggravation.

    Download our FREE Off-to-College Checklist here.

    2. Do not overbuy for the dorm

    Keep this mantra in mind…..Less is more, less is more. College campus dorm rooms are tiny and spaces shared. There is minimal closet space or room for the necessities, much less the extras. Don’t think that all of those “dorm room essentials” are essential for your teen, and forget anything oversized.

    3. Do not forget how messy teens can be

    Ever seen a photo of a lived-in college room? Appalled? We were, too. The dorm room you help your teen set up will begin to deteriorate the moment you say your goodbyes. In the next nine months, your son or daughter will welcome friends into that room, where every surface will be treated as a chair.

    Some dorm room shopping essentials you eagerly purchase this summer will be stuffed in corners, unopened, and collecting dust until they’re rediscovered in May. College dorm rooms can be scary messy.

    Messy college dorm room
    Dorm rooms can be scary messy.

    4. Do not pay full price

    Everything about college is expensive, and that definitely includes dorm shopping, so take advantage of all the shopping deals you can find. Many retailers offer special promotions in exchange for your email address. Search online to see how to sign up and look for the details on free shipping, too.

    Target’s Circle membership is a great way to unlock savings when shopping there

    The Container Store also offers 25% off select dorm merchandise in their College Shop.

    5. Do not forget to plan the under-bed space

    This is the most critical question to answer about the dorm room and one that your teen may not know much about until move-in day.

    However, once your teen has a dorm assignment, check out the “residence life” section on the college website to see if a floor plan with measurements of that specific dorm is available. Take note of what furniture is provided and how high the bed is elevated, and plan the under-bed real estate accordingly.

    Take a tape measure when you shop for storage containers or bins to maximize the space with the most functional and sturdy under-bed storage available.

    One more thing, take note of those bed risers you were convinced would be perfect. They don’t work with bunk beds and are unnecessary with many elevated beds.

    6. Do not forget to include instructions with a medicine kit

    Stuffing a medicine kit for your college freshman with an overabundance of meds can be dangerous if they are unfamiliar with when and how to use each one. When they are at home and sick, our teens take the analgesic, decongestant, or antihistamine we dole out. We have decades of experience in understanding how over-the-counter medicines should be taken. If we send our sons and daughters off to college with all the meds and none of the wisdom, it may cause other issues if they self-medicate with products with duplicate active ingredients.

    Start to walk your teen through basic first aid and how to treat a cough or cold. When packing up for move-in day, fill a container with any prescription meds, band-aids, a thermometer, cough drops, antibacterial ointment, and one analgesic. One pharmacist mom gave us her best advice for her freshman son’s medicine kit. 

    7. Do not buy flimsy dorm stuff

    Even the most careful student will be hard-pressed to keep their college possessions in good shape as they move in and out of dorm rooms and college apartments for the next four years. Fragile and dainty will get torn or broken. Whatever goes in your shopping cart must be judged for durability. Put it back on the shelf if it doesn’t pass muster.

    8. Do not forget to plan for how you’re moving everything to college

    There is a fork in the road here, and you probably already know which path you’ll take with your freshman. If you are flying, bringing much more than your teen’s clothes, electronics, twin xl bedding, and prescription meds will be impossible. Seek out the special shopping/shipping services from major retailers ideal for students who shop in their hometown and pick them up at college.

    With Unlimited FREE Two-Day Shipping (with no minimum order size) and exclusive deals and promotions, this might be an ideal time for your teen to get an Amazon Prime Student account to order things once they arrive on campus and determine what they really need.

    If you are driving, you may still want to use these services for a more comfortable ride.

    9. Do not plan to leave luggage behind

    As adults, we are accustomed to traveling with luggage but have closets wherever we land. College students have minimal storage space, so consider buying the IKEA blue bags (available at Amazon), which have achieved a cult-like following at Grown and Flown for college move-in.

    Alternatively, use collapsible duffel bags that you may already have at home. When our son began to drive himself back and forth to school, he used garbage bags for luggage, meaning he had a starter pack for the trash can when he arrived.

    College dorm move in day van loaded with matching luggage
    Trash bags as luggage for college students driving to school.

    The blue IKEA Frakta bag is our favorite method for transporting college gear.

    IKEA blue bags
    IKEA blue bags are the #1 essential for college move-in.

    10. Do not forget a second pillow

    Your teen’s dorm bed will function as a bedroom/living room/study space, and the pillow they sleep on will not be very comfortable to lean back onto. Bring a second bed pillow, a large square pillow in a pillowcase or sham, or a backrest pillow to cushion the hardwood or wall.

    sherpa backrest pillow

    11. Do not plan on using extension cords

    Your teen will travel to college with a phone, a laptop, and other electronics that need to be charged or plugged in. This translates into a serious need for extra outlets, and many colleges do not allow extension cords. Pack a power strip surge strip like this one from Belkin with both outlets and USB ports, ideal for charging everything.

    power strip

    12. Do not forget to get a mini-fridge

    A mini-fridge is a real necessity and one dorm item that roommates should discuss before move-in day. There might be space for only one, so rent or buy, decide to share the cost, or someone can own it outright. These are convenient for leftovers from the dining hall and snacks that need refrigeration or cold drinks.

    A microwave, coffee maker, and/or electric water kettle are also very nice, but please check the dorm restricted list before you buy any of these appliances.

    What NOT to buy for the dorm room

    • Alarm clock—can use their phone.
    • Furniture—there is no space for a futon or any oversized or purely decorative furniture.
    • Kitchen Items—no toasters or blenders, dishes, cups, or silverware must be washed after use.
    • TV—Netflix on a laptop is enough.
    • Pictures in frames—ditto, just flip open the laptop.
    • Plants—guaranteed to die.
    • Cleaning supplies—in our dreams, only as many (most?) college kids don’t seem to clean their dorm rooms.  So no vacuum, no mop. Think about paper towels and Clorox/Lysol wipes.
    • Composition books, binders, dividers—some of these have gone the way of the dinosaur. Let your teen start class and figure out their study methods. Many kids prefer to take notes on their laptops and have far fewer paper needs than in high school. Don’t rush to waste money on a bunch of dead trees.
    • Desk chair—most colleges provide a chair, and you will drive it back home.
    • Printer—might also be an enormous waste of money. Many schools have networked printers available to students, and assignments are often turned in online. Desks have little room, and the floor is filthy for expensive electronic equipment.

    What to buy for the dorm room:

    • An over-the-door set of hooks is a great space saver for hats, jackets, or wet towels.
    • Fan—is a must-have if the climate or lack of air conditioning suggests its need. Compact fans can do a big job in stuffy or steamy dorm rooms; no need to buy a big one. People rave about WOOZOO fans.

    woo zoo fan

    • Hooks that stick to the wall are handy for jackets, towels, or jewelry to keep things (wishful) off the floor. Pick up a few packages of Command Hooks, if your teen’s dorm allows them. 

    command hooks

    • Small rugs are worth considering, but be wary as they may not get vacuumed all year. Small washable throw rugs might work best.
    • Shower caddy—first, check what the bathroom situation is. If your child uses a large communal bathroom at the end of the hall, this will be necessary.

    shower caddy

    • Mattress pad and anti-allergen and bed bug protector, money well spent!
    • Hamper—check to see how far away the laundry facilities are before you decide on a laundry basket, bag or hamper.
    • Trash can? Some rooms come equipped, others do not, worth checking first.
    • Is your child a coffee/tea drinker? We fell in love with this K-Mini Coffee Maker, which could be a nice treat in their dorm room and is only 5″ wide and comes in five colors.

    Keurig mini

          • Towels—consider monogramming or distinctive color. Basic white is easily mistaken for anyone else’s towels in the laundry room. These towels are available in 14 colors.

        towels

        One final thought about move-in day. It will be crowded and hot, and there will be lousy parking. Your child will meet with her new roommate for the first time, and you will also shake hands with your counterparts.

        Help them make up the bed and pull the sheets and comforter snug. Drive to the nearest store for shampoo, conditioner, an extra toothbrush, and any other toiletries or snacks they want for the mini-fridge.

        Finally, slip them the letter you’ve been thinking about all summer. Let them know how proud you are of them, that you love them, and hug them once more. They can take it from here.

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    Lisa Endlich Heffernan

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  • Choose your tubing adventure in SC, NC, GA, or TN!

    Choose your tubing adventure in SC, NC, GA, or TN!

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    Are you looking for a place to go tubing down a river with your family? Wondering, “Where is the best river tubing near me?” Tubing is a great way to have fun AND beat the heat in the upstate this summer. There is just nothing better than a slow ride down a river on a tube! Fortunately, you’ve found this HUGE list of places to go tubing near Greenville with your family. You’re sure to find one or two you’ve never even heard of that you’ll want to try out for yourself!

    All I can think about doing during these hot summer months is getting in the water, whether it’s our neighborhood pool, a refreshing lake, or even better, cruising down a river in a giant tube. This is probably one of the more exciting summer adventures I used to do growing up. It was an awesome family activity.

    Love our content? Get it delivered right to your inbox twice a week with our free newsletter! Sign up here.

    Living in the heart of a mountainous region that boasts of waterfalls, creeks, and rivers, there are plenty of places to indulge in tubing that aren’t far from Greenville at all.

    This article includes:
    Tips: Tubing with the family
    Where to go river tubing in South Carolina
    Where to go river tubing in North Carolina
    Where to go river tubing in Georgia
    Where to go river tubing in Tennessee

    Tips for Tubing

    • Call ahead and make reservations when you go tubing because this is a fairly popular activity, especially if you think weather may interfere with your trip.
    • Most places include life jacket rentals but ask just in case.
    • Bring sunscreen, water shoes, and snacks. Leave behind stuff you can’t lose, like jewelry, car keys, and cell phones.
    • Take along a long stick or broom handle to help maneuver the tube.
    • Don’t bring alcohol – most places don’t allow it anyways.
    • You will have to sign a waiver of some sort. Download and sign before you go to save time.
    • Read all the rules and regulations of whatever place you choose. They are all different.
    • Bring a towel and change of clothes that you can use after your trip.

    Kids & Tubing

    Sure, tubing is a great family activity, but it may not be suited for smaller kids. Some places allow kids of any age but most have a minimum age or height requirement. We tried to give info about rules on kids on each listing below. If you’ve got questions, by all means, call the place before you go.

    Tubing near Greenville, SC
    Davidson River Tubing

    Giant List of Places to Go Tubing Near Greenville, SC

    We’ve got a great list here of not only places near Greenville to rent a tube but also locations near Asheville and in Northern Georgia. If we missed your favorite place, let us know in the comments.

    Tubing Near Me: River Tubing in South Carolina

    River tubing in South Carolina

    Saluda Outdoor River Company

    3790 Calhoun Memorial Highway, Easley
    864.777.3053
    Read our Saluda Outdoor Center review .
    Only open Friday-Sunday + holidays

    • $24/person and includes life jacket and shuttle service.
    • You can book online or just show up.
    • Children must be 6 years old.

    Dolly Cooper Park

    170 Spearman Circle, Powdersville

    This is a brand new tubing run in Powdersville on the Saluda River where you need to bring your own tube and life jacket. You can put in at the ramp, tube down the river a bit, then get out and walk back with your tube a quarter-mile and do it all over again. Read our review about tubing at Dolly Cooper Park.

    Tubing at Dolly Cooper Park

    Palmetto Outdoor Center

    131 Alexander Road, West Columbia
    803.404.8254

    • Tube prices are $15-$30/person (double tubes are $85) and not all include life jacket and shuttle service.
    • You can reserve online 24 hours ahead of time and rentals are available for walk-up guests (cash only) Memorial Day – Labor Day
    • Children must be 10 years old.

    Edisto River Adventures

    Edisto River Adventures, 153 Gator Walk Ridgeville
    843.695.8146

    • The cost $28/person and includes large tube, parking, and a shuttle ride, entrance fee to the State Park launching site, and after-float fun: sandbar for swimming upon your return & volleyball, cornhole, Jenga, music, picnic areas, changing room, shower & Port O Let.
    • Life jackets are not provided.
    • You must book online at least 5 hours before your chosen tubing time.
    • Open May 5, 2023, closed Wednesdays & Thursdays

    Tubing Near Me: Tubing in North Carolina

    River Tubing in North Carolina

    Zen Tubing

    Two locations in Asheville:
    1648 Brevard Road and 608 Riverside Drive, Asheville
    855.936.8823

    • $30/person includes life vest and shuttle service. It’s $25 if you bring your own tube.
    • Must RSVP. Midtown location opens May 26, 2023 and the South Asheville location opens May 20, 2023
    • Cooler carrier is $5.
    • Kids must be 4 years old to tube.
    • Kidding Around Review of Zen Tubing

    Beer City Tubing

    Open June 17, 2023 through Labor Day
    501 Glenn Bridge Road, ​Arden
    828.774.9892

    • $20/tube, $10/cooler carrier rental
    • Reservations needed
    • Must be 4 years old to tube; life jackets must be worn for those 14 years old and younger.

    Davidson River Tubing

    1 Davidson River Circle, Pisgah Forest
    Open daily 10 am – 7 pm
    $8/tube [not updated for 2023]
    828.676.5383
    Mom Review of Davidson River Tubing.

    Brevard Tubing

    Opens May 19, 2023
    Everett Road, Pisgah Forest, NC
    828.515.3556

    • $30/person; $25/NC resident; $35/person holidays; $15/person for a second trip
    • Must be 4 years old to tube; life jackets required for kids ages 12 and under, which Brevard Tubing provides
    • No reservations needed

    Green River Cove

    5200 Green River Cove Road, Saluda
    828.749.3781

    • Children must be 42 inches tall to tube.
    • $10/pp for three miles, $15/pp for six miles and includes transportation. Some life jackets are available.
    • Opens May 13, 2023; Monday – Sunday 10 am – 3 pm

    Living Waters Tubing

    5153 Green River Cove Road, Saluda
    828.749.0147

    • Children must be 42 inches tall to tube.
    • $10/pp for 1.5-3 hours and includes transportation. Life jackets are available.
    • Opens May 13th and open daily through the summer
    • Must arrive between 10 am – 2 pm
    • Read our review of Living Waters Tubing here.

    Silver Creek Tubing

    5373 Green River Cove Road, Saluda
    828.894.2331 

    $12/person; reservations are suggested for groups of 10+ people

    Headwater Outfitters

    25 Parkway Road, Rosman
    828.877.3106

    • $20/person, includes transportation, life jacket and tube
    • Everyone must be able to swim
    • Opens May 19, 2023

    Sky Tubing

    304 Lyman Street, Asheville
    828.225.3259

    • $25/adults, $20/kids 12 and under
    • Reservations highly recommended
    • Open 10 am – 2 pm Friday-Sunday
    • No kids under 4 accepted

    Wilderness Cove Tubing

    3772 Green River Cove Road, Saluda
    828.749.9100

    • Trips start at $20-$25/person and include tube, shuttle, and life jacket.
    • Open daily Memorial Day – Labor Day 11 am – 4 pm
    • Kids must be 42” tall to tube.

    French Broad Outfitters

    704 Riverside Drive, Asheville
    828.505.7371

    • Open May 19, 2023 and open daily through Labor Day
    • $25/adult, $12.50/kids ages 6-12
    • RSVP online.
    • Guests must be 6+ years old.

    Catawba River Outdoors

    2334 US 221 business N, Marion
    828.442.6048

    • Opens May 26, 2023
    • $20/person for the two-hour float and $25/person for four hours
    • Open daily during the season and shuttles run 10 am – 3 pm
    • Minimum age is 2-years-old

    Deep Creek Tube Center

    1090 West Deep Creek Road, Bryson City
    828.488.6055

    • $7/per tube rental, life jackets available for kids.
    • Kids age 13 and under must wear a life jacket, which are available for a $10 refundable deposit or you can bring your own life jacket
    • Open Memorial Day Weekend through Labor Day Weekend

    Smoky Mountain Tube & Raft

    1847 Tsali Boulevard, Cherokee
    828.497.4545

    • $14/person, includes shuttle service.
    • Children must be 5+ years old to participate.
    • Open 10 am – 5 pm daily Memorial Day – Labor Day

    JJ’s Tubes

    1399 West Deep Creek Road, Bryson City
    828.736.3640

    Deep Creek Store & Tubes

    1840 West Deep Creek Road, Bryson City
    828.488.9665

    • This is a campground that offers tube rentals on site April – October

    Creekside Tubing

    1881 West Deep Creek Road, Bryson City
    828.488.2587

    • Closest tubing rental place to the Deep Creek entrance
    • $8/tube
    • Open Memorial Day – Labor Day

    NC Outdoor Center

    Toe River Outpost
    1173 Whitson Branch Rd. Bakersville, NC

    • Tubing trips run 10 am – 3 pm daily
    • Kids must be 3+ years old and those five and under will sit on their parent’s lap in a tube.
    • $23/single person tube, $50/double person tube, $20/child (less than 65 lbs) tube, $120/four-person tube; a lap child is free

    Where to river tube in Georgia

    Cool River

    590 Edelweiss Strasse, Helen, GA
    706.878.2665

    • Tubing trips are one or two hours and cost $14/pp on weekdays and $18/pp on weekends.
    • Kids have to be 3+ years old.
    • Opens May 13, 2023 on weekends and Memorial Day – Labor Day daily
    • Dogs welcome to tube

    Helen Tubing and Water Park

    222 Edelweiss Strasse, Helen
    706.878.7465

    • Tubing trips with a standard tube are $14/person on weekdays, $18/weekend and holidays.
    • Must be 3 years old.
    • Open daily Memorial Day – Labor Day

    Learn more about Helen, GA and these two tubing outfitters in our Guide to Planning a Trip to Helen, Georgia Anytime of the Year

    Toccoa Valley Tubing & Campground

    1141 Aska Road, Blue Ridge
    706.838.4317

    • $15/person Monday – Saturday; save $1 per tube when booking online
    • Children must be 4 years old and 30 pounds and wear a life jacket

    Where to river tube in Tennessee

    Where to river tube in Tennessee

    Smoky Mountain River Rat Tubing

    They have two tubing locations in East Tennessee near the Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg area:
    205 Wears Valley Road, Townsend (Ages 3+)
    8435 State Highway 73, Townsend (Ages 6+)

    • Tubing passes for both outposts are $14.99 (6-12 years old) and $19.99 (13+ years) in advance online. Day of tickets are $24.99/adult and $19.99/kids. Book online to save money.

    Tube River Rage [not confirmed for 2023]

    8303 State Highway 73, Townsend
    865.448.8000

    $16.99 + tax (ages 6-12) and $19.99 (ages 13+)

    Where is your favorite place to go tubing? If we missed it on our list please add it in the comments!

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    Kristina Hernandez

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  • Mom Review of Fluor Field: Everything You Need to Know!

    Mom Review of Fluor Field: Everything You Need to Know!

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    Summer is here and Greenville Drive Baseball is in full swing at Fluor Field. Greenville, SC has one of the most adored minor league baseball teams, but Fluor Field also hosts several fantastic events throughout the year.  This micro replica of Fenway Park even has a mini version of the Green Monster, how cool! Find out why Greenville’s beloved minor league ballpark has become a top gathering spot for Greenvillians and visitors to the area. 

    Gateway to Baseball: Special Features of Fluor Field

    The North End entrance at Fluor Field is welcoming, with a digital Drive marquee sign and an expanded brick and stone paved plaza as the backdrop to giant baseballs all in a row makes for an attractive and fun design element. Kids love to climb them and also a favorite spot for selfies.

    In the middle of all this ruckus and seeming right at home, is the statue of “Shoeless” Joe Jackson which used to be outside a restaurant downtown. Did you know that before Jackson became a famous ballplayer, he was a mill worker at Brandon Mills in West Greenville?

    With his connection to Greenville’s past, “Shoeless” Joe’s new location is a great choice. The statue highlights the city’s mill town past and memories of old textile baseball leagues. Ballgames were already a popular form of recreation and community building back then.

    Entrance of Fluor Field, Greenville , SC

    On Augusta Street, if you decide to enter through the East Entrance of Fluor Field, You can sit by the bar or at the picnic tables and have a great view of the action behind first base. NOTE: On the weekends, inflatable attractions are usually located at the East entry, where junior players can hit a few balls for FREE.

    Greenville Drive Team Store and New Ticket Booths

    Once you arrive, you can find will-call ticket booths alongside the Greenville Drive team store. Rolling barn doors offer more browsing space for souvenir shopping. Another piece of trivia, did you know that the store used to be a 1920s firehouse? Shop and have a look at the original tin ceilings.

    Fluor Field box office, Greenville, SC

    Front Porch Lounge at Fluor Field: Greenville, SC

    Fluor Field has often been referred to as downtown’s “front porch.” As a nod to this, the Drive has turned its front office at the corner of Field and Markley Streets into the Front Porch lounge, a 2,700-square-foot hospitality area for Drive Ticket Plan holders. The lounge offers comfortable indoor seating, a full-service bar, flat-screen televisions, and other fun ballpark perks.

    Event Venues: The Rooftop and Champion Lounge

    One thing for sure, if you are catching a game, you can’t help but glance across the field and admire the Rooftop, and wonder, “How did the people get up there?” The Rooftop space is an events venue atop the adjacent Fieldhouse building with its own express elevator. This area can accommodate up to 75 people, providing picturesque views of the ballpark and downtown Greenville. 

    The Rooftop even has a private food and beverage menu. Another venue is the Champions Club. The Club offers over 3,700 square feet of space and can accommodate groups of 100-300 people. The space is air-conditioned and even has outdoor seating, so it makes a great location for a year round event space.

    Fluor Field view of the baseball diamond.

    Family Friendly Year-Round Events at Fluor Field

    Fluor Field has made a name for itself that is much more than baseball thanks to West End Events at Fluor Field. There are events throughout the year that help there, some of which are super family-friendly. Here is a list of some of the more popular events to check out!

    • Easter Eggstravaganza: Every spring you can watch your kid race across the field collecting as many eggs as their little basket can hold. There is typically a picnic, pictures with the Easter Bunny, and tons of kid-friendly activities to enjoy.
    • 4th of July at Fluor Field: Every Independence Day, you can watch a baseball game and fireworks in celebration of our nation’s biggest celebratory holiday. There is special programming this day for military appreciation, including flyovers and more!
    • Reading All Stars: If your kid participates in a summer reading program through their local library, chances are they will receive a ticket to the Reading All Stars game with Greenville Drive.
    • The Green Monster Mash: Enjoy kid-friendly Halloween activities, including inflatables, face paintings, costume contests, and more during this annual event.
    • Kringle Holiday Village: Get into the holiday spirit with this holiday market, fun inflatables, and Santa!

    Plan a trip to Fluor Field: Greenville, SC

    945 South Main Street
    Greenville, SC 29601
    864.240.4528
    See their season schedule here.

    We hope we’ve enticed you to visit Fluor Field at the West End. Let’s root, root, root for the Greenville Drive!

    Peace Center along the Reedy River


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    Kidding Around Team

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  • Kids in Parks is a Free Program Where Your Kids Earn Prizes

    Kids in Parks is a Free Program Where Your Kids Earn Prizes

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    Here’s the perfect way to earn prizes for exploring the great outdoors with your family. Kids in Parks is an incentive-based program from the Blue Ridge Parkway Foundation designed to get kids away from screens and enjoying the outdoors. The best part – it’s FREE! So, enjoy a day of outdoor play while your kids earn prizes!

    Kids in Parks: What’s it all about?

    Here in the Upstate we are definitely blessed with a lot of breathtaking outdoor destinations. Unfortunately, with younger children in tow and the absence of a play structure, it’s hard to know how to make the most of those natural gems. If you find yourself heading out to just such a place, getting out of the car, soaking in the beauty, and then a few minutes later looking around and saying “ok, now what?” Here is the solution.

    Kids in Parks is a user-friendly website that includes an always-expanding list of nationwide locations that are considered TRACK trails. It allows families to search for locations near their hometown or even for an out-of-town adventure. That includes 190 TRACK Trails in 12 states, Washington DC, and the Eastern Band of the Cherokee Nation with dozens of locations just a short drive away in North Carolina and Congaree National Park in South Carolina.

    How Kids in Parks Works

    After a particular park is chosen, all you need to do is head out! Everything you’ll need will already be at the park waiting for you. Every TRACK trail Park has an information sign with activity brochures for you to take. Self-guided activities will turn what might have been viewed by young children as just a boring walk in the woods, into an educational adventure.

    After you’ve completed one (or several) of the “Track Adventures” you can log on to the website from anywhere and begin logging your adventure. The process is very simple. You’ll need to create an account on the site that manages each child in the family. From there you’ll be able to track the children’s activities and what badges they have earned. It will even tell you how many miles have been hiked, based on the length of the trail you completed.

    Children will receive the first of fifteen prizes after the first activity is logged! A pocket-sized trail tracker nature journal along with a trail tracker sticker unique to each official location or backyard adventure they log. Other prizes include a disc golf disc, putter disc, and bike lights, and more.

    e-Adventures for Kids In Parks Kids

    Kids In Parks also offers an e-Adventure section of activities that kids can do from a smartphone or tablet. These activities allow children to still explore the environment around them in a new way and earn prize incentives.

    Following Kids In Parks on social media and through e-mail subscription to their newsletter will provide your children with even more free resources to keep them busy and entertained – all for free.

    Hiking Mount Mitchell With Kids In Parks

    My family discovered this program on our first trip to Mt. Mitchell National park in Burnsville, North Carolina. This trip has become an annual event for my family.

    Mt. Mitchell is breathtaking, and this is probably why it became one of our country’s first national parks. The summit is the highest point east of the Mississippi River at 6,684 feet above sea level. If I told you I hiked every year to the summit for my birthday you’d be impressed, wouldn’t you?

    I’ll tell you a secret. 
    The summit is very easily accessed by all. Makes for a great story though, you don’t have to disclose that last part if you go. I won’t tell anyone about our secret. From the summit platform you can see all the surrounding states, so don’t forget your camera.

    Here’s a tip – turn your phone on airplane mode. There will not be a signal at the summit and your battery will go from hero to zero searching for one before the first photo is taken.

    Mt. Mitchell has two “Track adventures,” called “Island In the Sky” and “Let’s Explore – ecoEXPLORE”. Due to the elevation of the mountain, its ecosystem is unlike anything at lower elevations. The drive of roughly two hours and fifteen minutes from the Upstate is worth it.

    Kids in Parks at Mt. Mitchell State Park, NC

    Places to Explore With Kids in Parks In South Carolina

    Kidsinparks connects kids and families with their local, state, and national parks and public lands. Here are some places to explore in South Carolina.

    The Congaree National Park is just south of Columbia and two hours from the Upstate. This park is busy during May and June, as it is a synchronous firefly viewing spot. The park, which covers over 20,000 acres of wilderness, can be explored by foot or paddle.

    Kayaking in Congaree National Park, SC

    Musgrove Mill State Park is a beautiful outdoor destination that includes lots of territory to explore plus American history to share with your family.

    Musgrove Mill, SC

    Sesquicentennial State Park is an easy day trip from the Upstate and offers so many things to do. Enjoy camping, fishing, hiking, and even a splash pad at this unique State Park!

    Things to Do at Sesqui in Columbia, SC

    Landsford Canal State Park
    The Catawba River and Landsford Canal State Park is home to the largest known stand of the rocky shoals’ spider lily, a flower species found predominantly in the Southeast. Activities in the park include picnicking, nature watching, and studying the canal structures. Fishing is permitted along the Catawba River, and a paddling trail runs through the park for canoes and kayaks

    Landsford Canal State Park lillies

    Table Rock State Park is one of our area’s premier hiking destinations. Offering beautiful waterfalls, swimming holes, and trails from the leisure to the strenuous, all nestled in an incredible mountain forest setting. At just 30 miles from downtown Greenville, this park would make a great day trip for your next family adventure.

    Table Rock Summit

    TRACK Trail Locations In North Carolina

    On your way to Mount Mitchell in North Carolina, you can also stop at TRACK trail locations in the surrounding area. The Asheville Visitor center on the Blue Ridge Parkway was the very first TRACK trail, installed in 2009 and it’s a perfect stop on your way to the mountain.

    Several locations are within an attraction that requires an entry fee. Some of these include:

    These venues having TRACK trail activities are great if you were already planning on going, but please don’t think that to participate you need to spend money.

    Just to the north of us in Tryon, North Carolina is a TRACK trail park. Woodland Park is a moderate trail that winds through the forest and past a waterfall. It also includes what has been one of my favorite “track adventures” – “Hikin’ to find Lichen.” We had a blast searching and hunting for all different kinds of algae and fungi along the trail. My tip for this location is to leave the stroller in the car. The path is narrow and not stroller friendly.

    North of Boiling Springs in Rutherfordton, North Carolina their Historic Main Street is a TRACK trail location. Probably one of the few if not the only trails that guide you through city streets. Here you will walk in the footsteps of revolutionary war soldiers, view historic landmarks and even see the location where the nation’s first $1 gold coin was minted.

    Earning Prizes On A Bike or With Disc Golf Activities

    Aside from the regular TRACK Trail incentives you can earn, there are two more sets of unique prizes that can be earned by visiting the TRACK Trail bike and disc golf locations. Unfortunately, there aren’t any biking TRACK trails near the upstate. However, if you’re planning a summer trip near Asheville, there are a few disc golf locations in that area.

    Explore Close to Home

    One of the many things my family loves about this program is that you don’t have to travel any further than your own backyard to participate in it. The TRACK Trail adventure brochures are available online as printable PDF files. If you follow “Kids in Parks” on social media, I’ve seen them post additional TRACK trail brochures. You can utilize all of these in your backyard or your favorite local park.

    Places locally my family likes to enjoy an adventure are the Tyger-10 nature park, Lake Cooley, and the Milliken Arboretum, all located in Spartanburg.

    I’m so excited to share it with everyone because I really can’t say enough good things about it.

    Special Days for Outdoor Play!

    • Kids to Parks Day: National Park Trust– Hosted annually on the third Saturday of May, this nationally recognized event is a great way to connect kids and families with their local state and national parks. Public Lands are also highlighted to explore.
    • National Play Outside Day: Recognized as the first Saturday of every month, this day is an encouraging day for outdoor adventures with family!

    Which park will your family visit to earn prizes?

    Park Guide to Greenville, SC
    Free things to do in Greenville, SC


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    Kidding Around Team

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  • 10 Ways To Understand the Identity Property of Addition in Math

    10 Ways To Understand the Identity Property of Addition in Math

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    The identity property of addition is a fundamental concept in math that helps us understand how numbers work. Learn all about it in this guide!

    In mathematics, the identity property of addition is a fundamental concept that helps us understand how numbers work.

    This property states that when you add zero to any number, the result is that same number. Understanding this property is essential for building a strong foundation in math. In this guide, we’ll explore the identity property of addition in detail.

    Note: Don’t Forget to Download the free worksheet at the end of the Lesson plan and do give a thumbs up if you like doing it with your kids.

     

    What is the Identity Property of Addition?

    The Identity Property of Addition is a mathematical rule that states that when you add zero to any number, the result is that same number.

    In other words, the identity element for addition is zero.

    This property is important because it helps us understand how numbers work and provides a foundation for more complex mathematical concepts.

    It is a fundamental concept in math that is used in many different areas, from basic arithmetic to algebra and beyond.

     

    How does the Identity Property of Addition work?

    Identity Property of Addition examples

    The Identity Property of Addition states that when you add zero to any number, the result is that same number.

    For example, 5 + 0 = 5 and 12 + 0 = 12.

    This is because zero is the identity element for addition, meaning it doesn’t change the value of the number it’s added to.

    This property is important because it helps us simplify equations and solve problems more easily.

    It also provides a foundation for more complex mathematical concepts, such as the distributive property and inverse operations.

     

    Examples

    Identity Property of Addition

    Let’s look at some examples of the Identity Property of Addition in action.

    If we have the equation 8 + 0, we know that the answer is simply 8 because adding zero doesn’t change the value of 8.

    Similarly, if we have the equation 25 + 0, the answer is 25.

    This property can also be used to simplify more complex equations. For example, if we have the equation 3x + 0, we can simplify it to just 3x because adding zero doesn’t change the value of 3x.

    More Examples:

    1+0=1

    2+0=2

    3+0=3

    4+0=4

    5+0=5

    6+0=6

    7+0=7

    8+0=8

    9+0=9

    Some More…..

    20+0=20

    30+0=30

    35+0=35

    37+0=37

    41+0=41

    46+0=46

    52+0=52

    66+0=66

    71+0=71

    83+0=83

    87+0=87

    89+0=89

    91+0=91

    93+0=93

    97+0=97

    Note: Don’t Forget to Download the free worksheet at the end of the Lesson plan and do give a thumbs up if you like doing it with your kids.

    Identity Property of Addition worksheet

     

    How to use the Identity Property of Addition in solving equations?

    The Identity Property of Addition can be a useful tool in solving equations.

    When you encounter an equation with a term that includes zero, you can use the Identity Property to simplify the equation.

    For example, if you have the equation 4x + 0 = 12, you can simplify it to just 4x = 12, since adding zero doesn’t change the value of 4x.

    This makes it easier to solve for x. Remember, the Identity Property of Addition states that adding zero to any number does not change its value.

     

    Common misconceptions about the Identity Property of Addition

    One common misconception about the Identity Property of Addition is that it only applies to the number zero.

    However, this property applies to any number added to zero, not just zero itself.

    Another misconception is that the Identity Property only works with addition, but it also applies to multiplication. The Identity Property of Multiplication states that multiplying any number by one does not change its value.

    Note: Don’t Forget to Download the free worksheet at the end of the Lesson plan and do give a thumbs up if you like doing it with your kids.

     

    Frequently Asked Questions

    Question and Answer

    What is an example of identity property?

    5 + 0 = 5

    What is an identity property?

    A definition of identity property is that the identity property states that a number, known as the identity, can be added to, subtracted from, multiplied by, or divided into a number without changing the number. Source

    What is the identity property of addition kids?

    What is an identity element addition examples?

    What is an example of identity property for kids?

    What are the 4 properties of addition?

    The four basic properties of addition are:

    • Commutative property.
    • Associative Property.
    • Distributive Property.
    • Additive Identity Property.

    What is an identity in math?

    An identity is an equality that holds true regardless of the values chosen for its variables. Source

    What is called the identity of addition?

    0 is called the identity for the addition of whole numbers.

    What is the identity of addition in math?

    It says the sum of 0 and any number is the same number itself.

    Summary!

    Math

    I hope we have come up with a clear concept of the topic and will let the kids enjoy this simple guide to have clear knowledge about the topic. Do let us know if you have any questions for us. And yes if you want to us to come up with some specified lesson plans do let us know in the comment box below!

    Also Read: The Importance of Math Homework Help in Education Success

    Follow Us: Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | Pinterest

    Tinydale is on YouTube, Click here to subscribe for the latest videos and updates.

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    VJ

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  • Cool Off in the Splash Pad at Downtown Memorial Airport Park

    Cool Off in the Splash Pad at Downtown Memorial Airport Park

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    Downtown Spartanburg has a fantastic park, located at the Downtown Memorial Airport with two playgrounds, paved paths for bike riding, picnic shelters, and a free splash pad. The Spartanburg Airport Park is perfect for the summer heat with that splash pad, plus year-round fun on the playgrounds. Here’s everything you need to know about the Downtown Memorial Airport Park.

    About the Downtown Memorial Airport Park: Spartanburg

    The Downtown Memorial Airport Park includes something for everyone. Have a little one? Great! There’s a whole separate playground for them. Have a big kid? This park has a really cool 3-story climbing structure, aviation-themed of course, complete with 3 slides for big kids.

    Have a kid who wants to ride their bike? Perfect! They will love the paved trails around the playgrounds. Have a child obsessed with airplanes? Then this is the go-to park for your family because where else can they get up close and personal with small airplanes taking off or landing?

    Playground at Spartanburg Airport Park

    The big kid area is complete with a massive climbing structure, 3 slides, swings, a kid spinner, and a couple of learning stations too. This playground will keep the kids busy for a while!

    Should your own little one need to stay a bit closer to the ground then they may prefer the playground specially designed for kids 2-5 years old. The little kid playground has another set of swings, a smaller climbing area with slides, and a couple of toddler size vehicles to climb on. And if you don’t feel like climbing the play structures or pushing your kid on the swings, each playground has a couple of benches perfect for parents.

    Splash pad and Picnic Area

    Not only does this park have 2 great playgrounds, but it also offers a couple of other things your family may enjoy as well! The aviation-themed splash pad is open for the summer and is sure to be a big hit on a hot day.

    Want to spend the day? No problem! This park offers a covered picnic shelter and restrooms. With a vast 7-acre footprint, this park also includes a couple of soccer fields and ample green space to spread out and spend the day. Trust me, your kids won’t want to leave!

    Tips for the Spartanburg Airport Park

    • Bring water shoes and caution your kids against running in the water area as the surface is slick.
    • Wear sunscreen and water as the park has limited shade.
    • Bring a bike or scooter to enjoy the paved loop and runways inside the park.

    Where is the Spartanburg Downtown Memorial Airport Park

    You’ll find the park right next door to the Spartanburg Downtown Memorial Airport.

    500 Ammons Road
    Spartanburg, SC 29306

    Have you taken your kids to the Downtown Memorial Airport Park yet?

    parks and playgrounds spartanburg greenville

    Looking for more amazing places to play?

    The KA Park Guide has them all! Use it to sort parks by location and features to find the perfect place to play!


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  • Controlling What I Ate Was How I Tried to Control The Messiness of Midlife Parenting

    Controlling What I Ate Was How I Tried to Control The Messiness of Midlife Parenting

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    My lifelong obsession, and earliest memories, are attached to food. 

    The smell of an onion sizzling in the pan reminds me of being small with the Saturday Night Fever album thumping on my parent’s speakers. Today, hearing the low pops of pasta boiling soothes me, reminding me of my Italian Grandmother’s “gravy” and her Philadelphia row home kitchen. 

    I still long for the comfort of that world. But I’ve learned that food won’t fix anything. Making careful food choices won’t give us control over our messy midlife. Instead, I’m learning to eat through it. 

    I’m sick of measuring my worth by teaspoons. (Twenty20 @MusingsOfAmber)

    As a kid, I could and did eat a lot

    As a little kid, I remember specific bites of food, the moment when the melting cheese and meat became a meditation. Food was joy. And I could eat a lot. If seconds were offered, I was in. The usual was two-quarter pounders with cheese, a large fry, and a Coke. And as a high school athlete, I ordered two lunches in the cafeteria. I had no problem eating it all; they didn’t call me Side-Order Serianni for nothing.  

    It wasn’t just the sensory pleasure or taste but also the community of eating with others. I have fond memories of our family of five eating manicotti under a yellow tiffany lamp in our suburban Maryland kitchen. And I’ll never forget the boy who gave me the small half of his hoagie as I eyeballed it across the lunch table. Food meant I was included, that I belonged. 

    Food made everything better until it didn’t. 

    Food calmed my anxiety

    It’s no surprise that when everything got harder in my late teens — applying to college, playing soccer on three teams — I began to eat more. I was anxious, and food calmed me. To self-soothe and fit in while at college, without parents or my normal environment, I overate. I drank too much, ate greasy pizza at 1 am, and slept until noon, learning to be independent of my parents.

    Before returning for my sophomore year of college, I had to figure out a way to hold all of my responsibilities together — my double major, two collegiate sports, and scholarships. I sought to control all this through food, which I’d later learned is a trap. 

    I lived on white rice. And Snackwells, those amazing, puffed pieces of fat-free chocolate air. Coupled with my new running routine, I could eat as much as possible. I learned how to maintain straight A’s and fit into tight black pants for Wednesday penny draft nights. 

    I still try to control my life with my eating

    I look back at this time with weird admiration. Those achieving behaviors are part of my DNA. And I notice, too, how I still try to control today when life gets too much, with two kids, a dog, a full-time job, and life on a 47-year-old hormonal roller coaster. I dip from Look at these magnificent trees! to I hate this lamp! Perimenopause is a dizzying whiplash; I often feel possessed. The calendar reminds me (since I can’t remember) to take my progesterone cream, ashwagandha, and drink my Tulsi tea. 

    When my mom to-do list is a mile long, especially during those last ten days of my cycle, I try to slow down time and pin everything to the ground. I attempt to control something by measuring my granola to ¾ of a cup or eating only 17 chips. It’s when coffee becomes a snack, and I berate myself for not getting on board with intermittent fasting. It’s when I eat healthy TikTok recipes or nonsense three days in a row.  

    This chaotic time makes me want to eat completely alone. As my kids keep changing, and the midlife ground beneath my feet keeps shifting, all while I’m hormonally imbalanced and out of whack, I need solitude. When I really feel off the rails, I sit and eat utterly alone in my office, with the door shut, downstairs in the basement in front of the computer. I’m busy, I say. That excuse makes more sense than feeling like I’m making a big mess of parenting at midlife. 

    The world feels out of control and so scary

    I fondly remember the raw days of sleepless early motherhood with two small kids: the cold stroller walks, quiet naps, and a messy house. It was a precarious time, yes, but it was contained. The world was small — about a two-mile radius between the park, the coffee shop, and the indoor play gym. Sometimes I long for those baby classes, six-month-olds in our laps, sitting on a gym mat, a protective circle against the world.

    Today, with older kids, our universe has grown exponentially, and it’s large and scary, and so often, I feel like I’m way-finding in the dark. I toggle between should my daughter get her ears pierced and Jesus Christ, another school shooting. It is a lot. Life with older kids opens up to more joy, but even more intense heartbreak and hard feelings. 

    I cope by controlling my eating since I can’t control anything else. Somehow, I think intentionally choosing my food provides a buffer against hurt. But I know that a salad won’t save me. The last thing I want is for my family to see my out-of-control behaviors, attempting to control what I can’t. 

    I’m tired of measuring my worth with a teaspoon

    Rather than retreat, I’m learning to stand in the crushing overwhelm of my and my kids’ lives. Balls will be dropped, and I’ll make questionable parenting decisions. But parenting, like eating, is about more than right and wrong or making good choices. It’s about sustaining ourselves, nourishing those around us, and learning to savor and enjoy. It’s not about failing; it’s about living freely, without self-imposed rules.

    I’m sick of measuring my worth with a teaspoon. I’m finding a food place that allows me to savor my meals and my family together. In my most challenging mom moments, I need support when I want to go solo. I must remember what I’ve always known: food brings us closer together.   

    I’m learning to eat and live without worry. I refuse to do Taco Tuesday alone.

    More Great Reading:

    When a Grumpy Teen Meets a Middle Age Mom

    Midlife Is When You Should be Reaching for Your Goals, Like this Mom

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    Natalie Serianna

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  • Pick Lavender and Find Peace at Twin Creeks Lavender Farm

    Pick Lavender and Find Peace at Twin Creeks Lavender Farm

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    Less than a 30-minute drive from Greenville, SC amongst the pastures, back roads, and farmhouses lies Twin Creeks Lavender, one of two u-pick lavender farms in the Upstate. We have all the details on how to experience your U-pick adventure at this beautiful farm.

    Twin Creeks Lavender Farm is more than a century old and the current owner, Michelle Ducworth, is a fourth-generation farmer. Her father raised Beefmaster cattle during her childhood on the same land and worked as an ER doctor because, well, farming ain’t cheap. It was this bond between father and daughter that ultimately led Michelle to take over the farm and turn it into a place where people could come and pick the sweet-scented lavender flowers. 

    Picking lavender

    About Twin Creeks Lavender Farm 

    Originally, Twin Creeks was a cattle farm that consisted of 300 acres. It’s now about 200 acres and Michelle lives in the same house she grew up in at the farm. Her dad, Dr. Lyman Ducworth Jr., farmed and worked in the ER but was diagnosed with cancer and died at age 66 in 2015. He died in the very farmhouse where Michelle was raised and his death was devastating to the family. But it ultimately opened up a whole new life for his daughter.

    Michelle is such an open book about her life and speaking to her about this brought up memories of my own mother’s death – also from cancer – and how it affected me and really changed how I live my life. Michelle is easy to connect with like that, which I think is part of the unique charm and welcoming atmosphere of the farm.

    She had noticed I had a lot of mosquito bites from a recent camping trip and she so thoughtfully put together a basket of lavender remedies for me back at the barn, including the Lavender Flower Water that helped take away the itch. I thought it was such a kind and thoughtful gesture and one that revealed a lot about who she is and how she runs the farm.

    There’s something really special when it’s so obvious that someone has deep roots to where they live and intentional reasons behind their business. 

    Shortly after her father passed away and while working as a successful surgical sales rep, she felt a call to follow in her dad’s footsteps. So she answered. 

    But how exactly did lavender come into the picture? It’s not a South Carolina crop and is very hard to grow here. Its roots cannot be oversaturated, which is exactly what the red clay in our soil here does. But Michelle wanted lavender because of the many things you can do with it and its many healing properties.

    So she flew out a lavender consultant from Washington State and worked with Clemson, where she graduated from, to figure out how to dig deep enough in the ground to get past the red clay and ultimately change the pH balance of the soil to be lavender-friendly.

    This massive chemistry experiment led to the first lavender plants going into the ground in May 2017. It’d be two years before she could open for u-pick. 

    So Much Lavender

    Today, there are 10 acres of more than 6,200 lavender plants at Twin Creeks. While there are more than 400 different types of lavender, Michelle grows seven of them at the farm: Grosso, Grosso Bleu, Royal Velvet, Violet Intrigue, Melissa, and Provence.

    Each have their own properties and uses from oils to cooking to ornamental. Those are all explained at the farm in the different rows of lavender that you can pick from. 

    While I was impressed with the rows and rows of purple and nearly blue lavender flowers, the barn and the products that Michelle has inside blew me away. And she makes nearly everything available for sale there. 

    Goats milk soap from Twin Creeks Lavender Farm
    Lavender goats milk soap

    She makes goat milk lavender soaps in scents that will whisk you away to some peaceful place. There are sprays for everything from linens to bug bites. There are lotions, body butters, hand soaps, sachets, bath bombs, foot moisturizers, and honey. The entire barn smells like heaven. 

    You can also purchase already dried lavender to use for future lavender projects.

    While you can only shop at the barn during u-pick season, you can find Twin Creeks Lavender Farm all over the Upstate at farmers markets (that’s how I first heard of them – thanks, Toasty Farmer!). They have a booth at the TD Saturday Market in downtown Greenville over the summer. 

    Lavender Honey Ice Cream & Lavender Lemonade

    When you go to Twin Creeks, you are more than welcome to take a picnic blanket, lunch, and hang out, relax, and stop and smell the lavender. 

    But don’t miss the Lavender Honey Ice Cream made by Honest Scoop ice cream. They have an adorable ice cream truck with amazing ice cream, some of which they make for Twin Creeks Lavender Farm. It is delicious. 

    The other don’t-miss item is the Lavender Elderberry Lemonade made by Mama K’s Elderberry. If you have followed us for some time, you know we are big fans of Mama K’s! They have sold out of this delicious concoction in the past so be sure to get some when you arrive.

    2023 U-Pick Lavender 

    By this point, you’re wondering how to pick your own lavender, right? Well, you totally can!

    Here’s how it works: You can either purchase a pass online (and get a $5 voucher for picked lavender) or buy a pass right at the farm. Then you go and get your scissors and pick your lavender. You pay for lavender based on how much you picked. The smallest bundle is an inch in diameter and is $5 and the largest is two inches and is $15.

    Tickets online are $5 each and can be purchased here. You get a $5 voucher for picked lavender if you purchase online. Kids age 5 and under and seniors age 65+ are free.  Tickets are $6 each at the gate. 

    And if you come once, you automatically get a season pass to come again anytime during the rest of the picking season. Just present your ticket when you come again and you get in free so you can go pick lavender again or just hang out in the field and relax. This is especially a great deal if you want to pick different kinds of lavender because the different varieties bloom at different times.

    2023 U-Pick dates are Friday, Saturday, and Sunday from 9 am – 2 pm starting May 26th and running through July 2nd plus July 3rd and July 4th. The end-of-season party will be on July 4th at the farm.

    If you’re a photographer or family who would just love their family photos at Twin Creeks Lavender Farm, you can pay a $100 fee to have the farm to yourself and take all the photos you need. Contact Michelle to arrange your photoshoot. 

    Tips on Visiting Twin Creeks Lavender Farm 

    To make the most of your visit to Twin Creeks Lavender Farm, here are a few suggestions:

    • Wear closed-toed shoes. It’s a farm and there are ants and that kind of thing. Come prepared and don’t wear sandals or flip-flops. 
    • Wear or bring sunscreen. It’s the summer in South Carolina. A hat would also be great. 
    • Bring lunch or snacks and hang out. The farm is very peaceful. 
    • Hang onto your smaller kids and don’t let them have scissors or if they do, keep a close eye on them.
    • Don’t bring your own scissors – Twin Creeks has some waiting for you. 

    Nearby Things to Do 

    If you want to make it a day trip down to Twin Creeks Lavender Farm, there are lots of great things in the area to do. Here are a few ideas:

    Twin Creeks Lavender Farm
    4638 Midway Road, Williamston, SC
    [email protected] 

    UPick flower farms near Greenville, SC

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    Kristina Hernandez

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  • ‘It. Goes. So. Fast.: The Year of No Do-Overs’ by Mary Louise Kelly

    ‘It. Goes. So. Fast.: The Year of No Do-Overs’ by Mary Louise Kelly

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    How do you balance a high-powered journalism career that takes you all over the globe, with family life with children and then later teens?

    We all know the answer to this, not easily. But few of us have the exciting and often confounding experience (your teen’s soccer games are at the exact moment as the LIVE National Public Radio (NPR) radio show, All Things Considered, you co-host) as Mary Louise Kelly. For many of us, the daily conflict of needing to be in too many places at once can seem overwhelming, but for Kelly, those places include Iran, North Korea, and Russia. While her world may seem like it has little in common with many of ours, it has the most crucial thing in common, the very title of her book, It. Goes. So. Fast.: The Year of No Do-Overs.

    Q:  In the book, you tell the story of one of the craziest parenting moments I have ever heard of, including a Black Hawk helicopter; what happened?

    I was NPR’s Pentagon correspondent then, and I was in Iraq to cover a U.S. Secretary of Defense visit. It was too dangerous for him to move around by car, even an armored vehicle within a motorcade, so the plan was to whisk the whole entourage, including the press pool, from appointment to appointment by helicopter.

    We were in the Green Zone, waiting to clamber into our Black Hawk when my cell phone rang. It was the school nurse, back at my then-four-year-old son’s preschool in Washington, DC, calling to tell me that he was really sick and having trouble breathing. How quickly could I get there? I was trying to answer her when the line went dead.

    The Black Hawk lifted off. It was hours before I could get a call to find out if he was okay. I will never forget that moment, strapped in and gazing down over the snarled traffic of Baghdad, thinking — What am I doing? My son needs me, and I’m thousands of miles away. On the flight home, I started writing what became my first novel. A few months later, I quit my job.

    Q:  You talk about being a sports parent, and this is a real highlight in our parenting journey for so many of us. Why do you think this is so meaningful and plays such an important role in our lives?

    Somewhere out there, my mother laughs at my being called a “sports parent.” This is because I was so profoundly unsporty myself. In high school, I joined precisely one team. It was softball in 9th grade, and I never touched the ball once the entire season. That’s no exaggeration; I struck out every time I came to bat. Every single time.

    Yet somehow, my sons’ inherited athletic genes that seem to have bypassed their father and me entirely, and they revel in playing multiple sports. I have learned to revel in being a soccer mom. I can explain the offside rule in my sleep. It’s such a joy to watch them play. Partly that’s the magic of sports: You don’t care about a game or even know that it is happening until a friend drags you there, and suddenly you’re screaming and whooping like your life depends on the outcome. As a parent, I wonder if it has to do with the fact that we love our kids, and we want to cheer them on, and it’s not like you can show up in math or French class and yell, “You got this, buddy! Stay with it! Go!!!” Whereas on the soccer or basketball or hockey sidelines…different story.

    Mary Louise Kelly, author and co-host of NPR All Things Considered (photo credit: Mike Morgan)

    Q:  You talk about “embracing the silence” as a technique recommended to beginning journalists. Space doesn’t always need to be filled, and patience can yield revelations that wouldn’t have come otherwise. Try this with teenagers, though; they’ll keep you waiting…forever. What suggestions do you have for getting teens to talk?

    Yeah, in my experience “embracing the silence” does not work with teenagers. They’re perfectly happy to jam their earbuds deeper into their ears and embrace silence themselves! One thing that does work, counter-intuitively, is having their friends around. My kids tend to be in good moods and chatter away when surrounded by their posse.

    No, you won’t get the one-on-one, thoughtful, loving communication you crave. But if I announce that I’m ordering ten pizzas to the house, if they want to invite friends over to our kitchen after a game, I learn all kinds of things I wouldn’t have known otherwise. Who asked who to prom, what summer jobs and camps everyone’s planning, and why the Chem test was such a disaster? And then, the next day, you have a few specifics with which to strike up a conversation instead of the generic, “Sooo, how was your day?”

    Q:  In the book, you mention interviewing people differently because you are a mother and that being a mother impacts which stories you feel are worth telling. Which of your journalism skills could you bring to parenting, especially during the teenage years? If you have advice for asking open-ended questions, staying curious, and listening patiently, let us know!

    When I interview someone in a war zone, or after a hurricane blew their house down, or after they lost an election, I’m not trying to solve their problem. I’m just trying to listen — with curiosity and an open mind. I try to gather as many facts as I can about what happened. I try to ask in a sensitive way how they’re feeling, what frightens them, what gives them hope, and what’s on their mind. But again, it’s not on me to solve the problem.

    As my kids get older, I find myself trying to question them and listen to their answers in the same spirit. I’m their mom, and sometimes they need me to wade in and find a solution. But the job is increasingly about ensuring they have the tools to solve their problems. My role is to listen, without trying to fix anything, without judgment — only love.

    More Great Reading:

    Stay-At-Home-Mom: My 20-Something Self Might Not Love Who I’ve Become

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    Grown and Flown

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  • Life Experiences That Bring Us to Our Knees, Like Raising Kids, Are the Most Important Ones

    Life Experiences That Bring Us to Our Knees, Like Raising Kids, Are the Most Important Ones

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    I sat on the steps in front of our house, the cold bleeding through two layers of running tights, and gingerly peeled off my gloves. Slowly, carefully, I squeezed my hands into fists, willing the feeling back into my fingers. I rubbed my hands together; the aching and frigid numbness made me shutter. 

    The key to my front door was tucked away inside a tiny, square front pocket of my leggings. The dexterity required to remove the key made it utterly useless as my fingers were stiff and lifeless with cold. 

    The experiences that challenge us the most are life-altering. (Engin Akyurt from Pexels)

    Running a marathon sounds gutsy, but it is brutal and often boring

    I was a little more than halfway through my marathon training eleven years ago. The kind of thing that sounds gutsy and impressive in one’s imagination when you’re mostly thinking about running through a finish-line ribbon with your arms raised in victory. Marathon training is brutal, often dull, sometimes lonely, and can land you on your front steps in frozen paralysis. 

    I would come to think about that particularly frigid day in February in front of our old house in Cincinnati quite often over the years. It took me almost thirty minutes for my hands to thaw out enough to dig a finger into that tiny pocket and scoop out my housekey. It was a galvanizing experience. Yet I was willing to endure one more thing to accomplish this goal. 

    Running 26 miles is about the commitment to doing something hard

    Along the way, I learned that running a marathon had little to do with crossing the finish line. That finish-line ribbon was long gone anyway. It was, of course, all about getting there. The commitment to something hard and seeing it through, the pushing myself further than I thought I could go, the inner strength I didn’t know I had. Like so many things in life, the gritty, messy middle shows you who you are — that’s the good stuff. 

    About the same time of year, eight years later, I sat on our living room couch, an icy fear in the center of my body spreading to my chest, shoulders, and down my arms to the tips of my fingers like frost crawling across a lawn. 

    Our daughter told us about some terrible experiences she’d had

    Our 17-year-old daughter was telling us the horrible things that she had endured over a period of months, most of which we were wholly unaware of. Her sadness, her pain, how she had been coping, what she had considered. Shock spiraled through my body, twisting its way through my veins and synapses so that ice wound like a rope through every part of me. 

    I was stunned, paralyzed by this new reality. 

    Later, I would think about these moments in tandem. Watershed moments awakened something in me. Until you’re presented with a situation, how can you be sure how you’ll respond? 

    When your hands are frozen stiff for half an hour, will you quit…or return three days later and run 10 miles? When your daughter tells you the unimaginable, will you shut down and completely lose it…or will you hold her and tell her that it will be okay?

    Will you listen to everything she needs to say and be strong enough to endure it? Will you stay on that couch and binge Lost, put together puzzles, and eat ice cream for a week until you’re both sturdy enough to do the next right thing? 

    Parenting isn’t running a marathon; it’s training for one

    We’ve all heard the tired analogy…parenting is like a marathon (because, you know…it’s not a sprint!) I’m here to tell you that it’s not a marathon; it’s training for a marathon. It’s hard and unappreciated work. It’s when you think you cannot go any further, and then somehow you do. It’s going to bed feeling like the worst version of yourself, waking up the following day, and trying again. It’s saying I’m sorry, asking for help, laughing at yourself, getting rest, and staying hydrated. It’s humbling, soul-crushing, and heartbreaking. 

    It’s also, quite possibly, the most beautiful experience of your life. 

    My husband went to three different locations on my race day, threw a party, and ran the last half mile with me while I cried tears I couldn’t shed. The months of training leading up to the race are with me to this day, whispering that I can keep going. 

    Our daughter is a thriving twenty-year-old studying to be a teacher, lights up every room she enters, and fills our life with joy and laughter. That tender heart of hers that was so broken is resilient and tough. It tells her that she understands the pain and that her deep empathy makes her unique. 

    The life experiences that bring us to our knees are the important ones

    Hundreds of miles, thousands of hours, and endless blood, sweat, and tears go into the parts of our life that truly matter. Mostly unwitnessed, sometimes agonizing, often painful…but always worth it. Because the experiences in life bring us to our knees, the ones that can paralyze us with fear and overwhelm us, those are the moments that matter the most. 

    Whether motherhood, marathon training, or any other moment that stops you cold, the hard parts bring us to the finish line, they give us the strength to withstand, and they batten down the hatches, pull up our leggings, and whisper to us, “Mama, if you can do this, you can do anything.” 

    More Great Reading:

    Dear Daughter, I’ll Sit with You in Your Pain Until You Begin to Heal

    Heather McGuire is a freelance writer specializing in parenting, child development, and education. With a Master’s in Montessori education, a decade of writing experience, and two teenage daughters, I write about parenting, and children, especially adultish children, is one of my greatest passions. You can find me here, on LinkedIn, on Facebook and on Instagram.

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    Heather McGuire

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  • Their Shoes: Realizing Our Teens Really Are Right Where I Want Them

    Their Shoes: Realizing Our Teens Really Are Right Where I Want Them

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    When my eldest son’s friends began to hang out at our house regularly, I felt compelled to match up the disheveled heap of shoes I’d find at the door and line them up along the foyer baseboard by pairs.

    That’s a me thing.

    I like the house to be neat and organized, but after a time or two, I stopped my borderline OCD routine. Not because I no longer had the urge, gave up, or had better things to do, but instead, I considered how my intention might be misunderstood by the teenagers we were thrilled to have in our home.

    I want my son’s friends to know they are welcome.

    I wanted the teens in our house to know they were welcome

    I wanted these teens to feel comfortable in our house and not think I was overly worried about them making a mess. I didn’t want it to seem like a chore (for them or me) when they were here. I wanted it to feel easy. We liked having them in our home, so I had to think about what little gestures would let them know we wanted them here. We wanted our space to whisper, “this is a place you can kick off your shoes and stay awhile.”

    We wanted them to come back.

    Growing up in the South, I was not raised as a Shoe Taker-Offer. We didn’t have the slushy mess homeowners have to contend with living in the Northeast. I have learned, though, that it’s downright rude not to slip off your shoes upon entry or, at the very least, ask if your footwear should be removed as soon as you arrive. I still, to this day insist people keep their shoes on when they come over. We have hardwood floors throughout, so the possibility of ruining carpet is not a worry.

    I started to see shoe removal as a sign of respect

    With the teens, it’s different, though. The shoe removal habit is so ingrained that I started to see it as a sign of respect their families extend to ours when they hang out at our place. I appreciate that the families of my sons’ friends have raised them to respect other people’s property. Though I don’t feel it’s compulsory, the collection of shoes at our door reminds me that the family values of others are welcome and appreciated here.

    Since knowing our firstborn would be going to college some 1,257 miles away, the little things have begun to tug at my heartstrings.

    Like their shoes.

    I count the shoes to see how many kids I need to make breakfast for

    On my way to the kitchen each Saturday morning, I pass the unsightly scattered pile of sneakers I have grown to love. I count the mish-mosh of pairs to know how many I need to make breakfast for and feel my “I’m not crying, you’re crying” smile stretch from my head to my heart. Feeling fully content and happy the boys were here; I whipped up my signature cheesy bacon egg breakfast.

    I have started to view the lopsided shoes as art. I snap pictures as I walk by and bask in the meaning. Their shoes tell a story. The shoes lying about indicate that my boy and the other boys from families we love are safe and resting comfortably upstairs in our house — where I want them to be.

    While these days may be numbered, the snapshots will always bring me back to the place in a time of cherished memories with my high school senior and his friends.

    More Great Reading:

    Note to Self: On Parenting Teens

    The Eighteenth Summer

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    Jo Lynn Williams

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  • 50 Things to Do Once Your Teen Has Left Home

    50 Things to Do Once Your Teen Has Left Home

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    It often felt like too much. The chaos and noise of a house full of teens left us wishing for a break, for some time alone or with a friend or partner. Now we have that time, the loooooong quiet evenings that are life after the teens have moved out. And in an unexpected twist, the stillness of an almost empty house can leave us wishing for something more to do. 

    After you have binged your favorite shows and visited your favorite regular place to eat out, here are 50 things you can do to bring fun, and noise, back into your life.

    50 things to bring fun, and noise, back into your life now that you’re in an empty nest

    Train for a 5K, 10K or even a Marathon now that you have the time to go for long runs. (Twenty20 @klovestorun)
    1. Jump on the pickleball bandwagon; this game was designed for people like us. You don’t need to be an athlete or even in great shape to start having fun.
    2. Hikes or walks. No equipment, no planning, and studies consistently show us just how good this is for our health. 
    3. Take a pottery or a painting class. Get back in touch with the creative side of you that may have been dormant for years.
    4. Jump back into music with either a local band or chorus. Music made us so happy earlier in life, it can do so again.
    5. Join a local theater group. Can’t act, work on costumes or set design. Not creative, work on publicity, ticket sales, fundraising or other jobs. 
    6. Get back on your bicycle. If that feels too daunting, get on an ebike and have a blast.
    7. Tour wineries or breweries in your area.
    8. Explore your own city. Maybe there are museums, theaters, shops, restaurants, parks and other attractions you never had time for. Now you do.
    9. Go camping. Hate dirt? Go glamping.
    10. Rent a camper and hit the road. RVs are back and couples are having a blast exploring this way.
    11. Find another couple and make a regular card/game night.
    12. Join a trivia team at a local bar.
    13. Volunteer in a local organization that has held a spot in your heart like an animal shelter or children’s hospital. 
    14. Act as a mentor to a young person who is trying to get established in your field.
    15. Volunteer at a school.
    16. Learn to be a docent at a museum or a volunteer in a local or national park.
    17. Train for a 5K. Got that? Train for a 10k. Work up to a marathon. 
    18.  Start a supper club with a group of friends where everyone takes turn cooking for each other once a month.
    19. Join a book club.
    20. Start a book club.
    21. Go on Meetup and see what is available in your area.
    22. Take a cooking or baking class.
    23. Get your hands dirty in your own garden.
    24. Plant a kitchen garden.
    25. Join a gym, your heart will thank you.
    26. Volunteer to coach or help coach a kid’s sports team. Remember how much fun that was!
    27. Find a hobby that you can share with others.
    28. Foster dogs.
    29. Foster teens. And say goodbye to all that quiet!
    30. Go bowling.
    31. Go ax-throwing, it’s surprisingly fun.
    32. Take up dancing. Again, your heart will thank you.
    33. Go back to the movies again. Streaming is great, but there is nothing like the big screen.
    34. Take an evening class at the community college. Get out among young people who are not your own!
    35. Take in an exchange student for a semester or a year. You have the room, why not?
    36. Learn a new language (the exchange student can help with this).
    37. Go to concerts.
    38. Finally get around to all those home improvement projects.
    39. Get a massage/facial/treatment.
    40. Find free local events like concerts, museum nights or local lectures.
    41. Look for a local Facebook group that shares activity ideas or has meet ups.
    42. Start boxing. Again there is your heart thanking you.
    43. Start a new exercise routine with Barre, pilates, yoga or whatever you haven’t tried yet.
    44. Learn to paint or draw. 
    45. Start bird watching and join a group.
    46. Learn to play golf or improve your score.
    47. Get involved in your place of worship or any faith community.
    48. Try canoeing, rafting, rowing, sailing, paddleboarding or anything that gets you out on water.
    49. Learn to play online Canasta or Mah Jong. 
    50. Create a fun goal for yourself and make a game out of it, like visiting every national park in your state, eating cuisine from a different nationality every week, or trying a new sport every month. Sarah Merker ate scones at historical spots for 10 years and explored her world that way. Create your own goal.

    Now is the time for you to lean into your newly quiet household. And there is a big world out there waiting for all the talents you still have to offer. Enjoy.

    More Great Reading:

    21 Things You’ll Love About The Empty Nest

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    Lisa Endlich Heffernan

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  • How to Maintain Your Family’s Garden on a Budget – Nature Moms

    How to Maintain Your Family’s Garden on a Budget – Nature Moms

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    Maintaining a beautiful and well-kept garden doesn’t have to break the bank. With some creativity and careful planning, it’s possible to maintain your family’s garden on a budget. By making smart choices and prioritizing key tasks, you can create a thriving outdoor space without compromising your financial goals. In this blog post, we will explore practical tips on how to maintain your family’s garden while keeping costs to a minimum, allowing you to enjoy the beauty of nature without breaking your budget.

    Plan and Prioritize

    When working with a limited budget, planning and prioritizing are essential. Start by assessing the needs of your garden and creating a maintenance plan. Identify the most critical tasks, such as mowing the lawn, weeding, and pruning, and allocate resources accordingly. By focusing on essential tasks first, you can ensure that your garden remains healthy and well-maintained, even on a tight budget.

    Invest in Essential Tools

    Investing in a few essential gardening tools can save you money in the long run. Purchase high-quality tools that are durable and built to last. Some must-have tools include a sturdy pair of gardening gloves, a reliable hand trowel, a rake, and a pair of pruning shears. These tools will help you tackle basic gardening tasks without the need for expensive equipment or professional services. If any of your tools require repairs or replacements, make sure to consult a reliable source for appliance parts to find genuine and affordable options.

    Practice Water Conservation

    Watering your garden can consume a significant amount of resources, leading to high water bills. To maintain your garden on a budget, practice water conservation techniques. Opt for watering early in the morning or late in the evening to minimize evaporation. Install a rainwater harvesting system to collect and reuse rainwater for irrigation. Group plants with similar water requirements together to avoid overwatering. Additionally, apply mulch around your plants to retain moisture and reduce the need for frequent watering. These water-saving strategies will not only benefit your budget but also contribute to environmental sustainability.

    Choose Low-Maintenance Plants

    Selecting low-maintenance plants is a practical and cost-effective approach to garden maintenance. Choose plants that are native to your region, as they are adapted to the local climate and require less water and maintenance. Look for drought-tolerant plants that can withstand dry spells without extensive watering. Additionally, consider perennial plants that come back year after year, reducing the need for replanting. By carefully choosing your plant selections, you can save time, money, and effort in maintaining your garden.

    Embrace Natural Pest Control

    Pest control can quickly become a costly aspect of garden maintenance. However, there are natural and budget-friendly ways to keep pests at bay. Encourage beneficial insects such as ladybugs and lacewings, which feed on garden pests like aphids. Plant companion plants that repel pests, such as marigolds to deter nematodes or basil to ward off mosquitoes. Regularly inspect your plants for signs of pests and address the issue promptly to prevent infestations. By embracing natural pest control methods, you can reduce the need for expensive chemical pesticides.

    DIY Composting

    Composting is a fantastic way to enrich your garden soil without spending money on fertilizers. Instead of purchasing compost, start your composting system at home. Use kitchen scraps, yard waste, and leaves to create nutrient-rich compost. Turning your compost regularly and maintaining the right balance of greens and browns will result in high-quality compost for your garden. Not only does composting save money, but it also reduces waste and benefits the environment.

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    Tiffany

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  • Raising Responsible Consumers

    Raising Responsible Consumers

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    Whether online shopping, utilizing a product, or viewing an advertisement – we are consumers and so are our children. Listen to the season finale to hear about how we can help raise kids to be informed and intentional consumers!

    Mackenzie DeJong

    Aunt of four unique kiddos. Passionate about figuring how small brains develop, process, and differ. Human Sciences Specialist, Family Life in western Iowa with a B.S. in Family and Consumer Sciences and Design minor.

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    Mackenzie DeJong

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  • Parenting 101: Family travel to the 1000 Islands

    Parenting 101: Family travel to the 1000 Islands

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    The 1000 Islands has always been an area that we’ve driven by numerous times but never stopped to explore. So, when my husband had a week vacation in May, we decided to make a three-day trip there.

    We started in Brockville, a quaint and pretty town with lots of interesting shops to explore. We walked through the railway tunnel, the oldest in Canada, and we stayed at the beautiful hotel 48 King West Brockville, where our cool two-floor suite was centrally located, well-appointed, and super comfortable for our family. It had a complete kitchenette as well as room for four, not to mention two bathrooms. It was perfect.

    Next we headed to Gananoque where we boarded a three-hour boat tour of the 1000 Islands. We passed by infamous Boldt Castle, a sight to be seen, as well as Millionaire’s Row. The views and houses were spectacular, and we learned so much about our famed St. Lawrence River.

    Finally, we spent our last day in Kingston, where we booked a waterfront room along the harbor. We took a tour of Kingston Penitentiary, which was extremely interesting, and had dinner on a rooftop terrace downtown. 

    The morning of our departure we swung by Fort Henry before driving to Upper Canada Village. In all honesty, I could live there! The grounds are so beautiful and peaceful, and it’s so interesting to wander from building to building and see life in that time depicted so accurately. People of all ages will enjoy Upper Canada Village. I want to go back around the holidays!

    All in all, the 1000 Islands are a wonderful area to go on a family holiday. There’s so much history there, and so many fun places to explore and check out. It’s a must on your family travel bucket list!

    A full-time work-from-home mom, Jennifer Cox (our “Supermom in Training”) loves dabbling in healthy cooking, craft projects, family outings, and more, sharing with readers everything she knows about being an (almost) superhero mommy.

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  • Check out the new BLOOM!

    Check out the new BLOOM!

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    By Louise Kinross

    Read the latest issue of BLOOM!

    Here are some quotes to draw you into the content.

    -From a blind mother of a newborn in an NICU who was afraid to touch her baby because staff hadn’t oriented her to where the baby was attached to wires: “It’s just assumed that the parents are fully abled, right?” (See Research Hits)

    -From the researcher of a study that found raising a disabled child eroded the health of mothers if they were low income, but not high income: “Most of the work on disability and families has been led by nondisabled people, but I come to this work with a different perspective as a disabled person myself. I was very unsettled by the nearly unquestioned assumption in previous research that disability is a burden.” (See Health Disparity)

    -From the owner of a new autism-friendly restaurant in Toronto: “I realized as a teacher that it was hard for these families to go out for a meal.” (See Fun Stuff)

    Like this content? Sign up for our monthly BLOOM e-letter. You’ll get family stories and expert advice on raising children with disabilities; interviews with activists, clinicians and researchers; and disability news.

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  • Budgeting Tips For The Newly Single

    Budgeting Tips For The Newly Single

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    When you first separate from a partner or spouse, it’s a whole new financial situation, learning how to budget on just one income instead of two, while navigating all the challenges that singlehood, especially single motherhood, entails. Here are some tips from Jennifer Bell, a newly divorced mother of two, on how to navigate the finances during that time. 

    Going through a significant life change, such as becoming single, brings about various adjustments, and one important aspect that requires attention is your finances. When you transition from a dual-income household to managing your finances as a single individual, it’s essential to approach budgeting with a fresh perspective. By taking control of your financial situation, you can navigate this new chapter with confidence and set the foundation for a stable future.

    In this article, we will explore practical budgeting tips tailored specifically for those who are newly single, helping you regain financial control and embrace your newfound independence.


    Assessing Your Financial Situation

    The first step in establishing a solid financial footing is to assess your current financial situation. Take some time to evaluate your income, expenses, and financial obligations. Determine how much money you have coming in each month and gain a clear understanding of your spending habits. This assessment will serve as the basis for creating a realistic budget that aligns with your new circumstances.

    Start by listing your sources of income, such as your salary, freelance work, or any other revenue streams. Next, carefully examine your expenses. Categorize them into essential and non-essential items, including rent or mortgage payments, utilities, groceries, transportation costs, debt repayments, subscriptions, and discretionary spending.

    As a newly single individual, you may find that certain expenses need adjusting. For example, if you were previously sharing rent or mortgage payments, you might need to downsize or renegotiate your housing costs. Be diligent in identifying areas where you can make changes to align your expenses with your current income level.

    Finally, establish short-term and long-term financial goals. These goals will help you stay focused and motivated throughout your budgeting journey. Short-term goals may include building an emergency fund or paying off a specific debt, while long-term goals could involve saving for a down payment on a home or planning for retirement.


    Creating a Realistic Budget

    Now that you have assessed your financial situation and defined your goals, it’s time to create a realistic budget that reflects your new circumstances. A well-planned budget will provide a roadmap for your spending and savings, ensuring that you are living within your means and making progress toward your financial objectives. Here are some key steps to help you create an effective budget:

    • Determine your new monthly income: Calculate your monthly income after taxes and deductions. If your income has changed due to the transition, it’s crucial to have an accurate understanding of how much money you have available to allocate toward expenses and savings.
    • Track and categorize expenses: Review the list of expenses you compiled during the assessment phase. Categorize them into essential and non-essential expenses. Essential expenses include things like housing, utilities, groceries, transportation, and debt payments, while non-essential expenses encompass discretionary spending, entertainment, dining out, and other optional costs.
    • Identify areas for cost-cutting and prioritization: Analyze your non-essential expenses and identify areas where you can cut back. Look for opportunities to reduce discretionary spending without sacrificing your quality of life. For example, consider cooking at home more often instead of dining out, finding affordable entertainment options, or exploring cost-effective ways to meet your social needs.
    • Allocate funds for savings and emergencies: Make saving a priority in your budget. Set aside a portion of your income for savings and establish an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses. Aim to save at least 10% of your income, gradually increasing the percentage as you adjust to your new financial situation.

    Prioritizing Debt Repayment

    When transitioning to a single financial status, it’s essential to prioritize debt repayment. Clearing outstanding debts not only improves your financial well-being but also provides a sense of freedom and peace of mind. You may also have acquired some new debt, such as hiring a
    family law attorney or purchasing a new home, in the process of your separation. Here are some steps to help you tackle your debts effectively:

    • Evaluate existing debts and their interest rates: Take stock of all your outstanding debts, such as credit card balances, loans, or outstanding medical bills. Note down the interest rates associated with each debt. This assessment will help you prioritize which debts to tackle first. 
    • Develop a debt repayment strategy: There are two popular approaches to debt repayment: the snowball method and the avalanche method. With the snowball method, you focus on paying off the smallest debts first while making minimum payments on the others. This approach provides a psychological boost as you eliminate debts one by one. On the other hand, the avalanche method involves targeting debts with the highest interest rates first, saving you more money in the long run. Choose the strategy that aligns with your financial priorities and motivates you to stay on track.
    • Explore options for consolidating or refinancing debts: Consolidating multiple debts into a single loan or refinancing existing debts can be beneficial, particularly if you can secure a lower interest rate. This approach simplifies your debt repayment process by combining multiple payments into one, potentially reducing the overall interest paid.
    Seeking Professional Assistance

    Navigating your financial journey as a newly single individual can be overwhelming, especially if you encounter complex financial situations or uncertainties. Seeking professional assistance can provide you with valuable guidance and expertise to ensure you make informed decisions.

    Consider the following options for obtaining the support you need:

    • Financial counseling or coaching services: Engaging the services of a financial counselor or coach can be highly beneficial. These professionals specialize in personal finance and can offer expert advice tailored to your specific needs. They can help you create a customized budget, provide strategies for debt management, and offer guidance on building a strong financial foundation. With their support, you can gain confidence in managing your finances effectively.
    • Consulting with a financial advisor or planner: A financial advisor or planner can provide comprehensive financial guidance and assist you in creating a long-term financial plan. They can assess your overall financial situation, recommend investment strategies, and help you align your financial goals with your new circumstances. They have the expertise to navigate complex financial matters and can provide insights on tax planning, retirement savings, and investment opportunities.
    • Utilizing online resources and budgeting tools: Take advantage of the wealth of online resources and budgeting tools available. Many websites and mobile applications offer free or low-cost budgeting templates, expense trackers, and financial planning calculators. These tools can help you stay organized, monitor your progress, and make informed financial decisions. They often provide educational materials and tips to enhance your financial literacy as well.

    As a newly single individual, you have the opportunity to build a solid financial foundation for your future. Embrace the support available and take proactive steps towards securing your financial well-being. In the next section, we will explore the importance of building an emergency fund and saving for the future.

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  • Parenting 101: Great kids’ looks for summer

    Parenting 101: Great kids’ looks for summer

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    Whether the kiddos are headed for a day by the water or running around the playground, Miles the Label has parents and kids ready for the summer heat.

    Not only are their looks fashionable but keep the kids comfortable during hot and sunny days. Their swimwear offers UPF50+ sun protection and day clothes made from breathable, eco-friendly materials including organic cotton, soft and stretchy jersey, lightweight linen, and 100% recycled polyester. These clothes were made for soaking up the sun and rolling in the grass.

    And the Miles the Label’s design philosophy is to make clothes that kids can actually play in and wear year after year or pass them down to their siblings/friends. Now that’s a trend us parents can get on board with! Check out their first-ever swimwear collection, as well as their summer capsules including À La Mode and Rink and Roll.

    – Jennifer Cox

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