Category: Family & Parenting

Did you know purchasing new construction can look a bit different than buying an older home? In this article, Dan Hamilton, Hamilton & Co. Real Estate Founder, debunks 7 common myths about new construction, explaining how a new construction transaction works and why it might be a good choice for your family!

House hunting can be an overwhelming process, and an especially difficult one when home prices are high and inventory is low like it has been the last couple of years. In light of today’s market standards, many of our clients at Hamilton & Company – especially our first time home buyer clients – are turning to new construction as an alternative to previously owned homes.

Myth #1: New construction is more expensive than previously-owned homes.

While there is typically less room to negotiate on the price of a new construction home up-front, they are definitely NOT more expensive across the board. Let’s look beyond the price tag for a moment…

New construction homes mean NEW. New roof, new plumbing, new flooring, new heating and air conditioning…new everything!

When you purchase a new construction home, you don’t have to worry about the HVAC breaking a year in or having to replace the roof. Renovations and cosmetic upgrades don’t have to be factored into the purchase price of the home because everything is new and, if you are building your home from scratch, everything is hand-selected by you!

In the rare case something does break or need to be replaced, new construction homes have home warranties that cover the cost of most repairs. These warranties will vary depending on the community you are purchasing in, so if you are home shopping, be sure to ask your real estate agent about the home warranty options before going under contract.

Finally, new homes are outfitted with some of the best energy efficient technology on the market, including energy-star appliances, insulating techniques, airtight, multi pane windows and more. Built up to the latest construction standards, new construction homes will heat and cool more efficiently, saving you money each month on energy bills.

While it’s impossible to say definitively that one type of home is more or less expensive than another, it is a safe bet to assume new construction homes involve less up-front cost for repairs, are more energy efficient, and can be a more affordable option across the board.

Myth #2: New Construction is more difficult to finance than pre-existing homes.

Contrary to popular belief, new construction can actually be easier to finance than pre-existing homes.

Like any home purchase, a new construction purchase will involve you meeting with a lender and obtaining a loan (unless you plan to pay cash, of course). You can bring your own lender into the new construction deal, but many communities already partner with lenders that you can work with. These lenders are familiar with the builders, the home construction, and the company as a whole, making the financing process move more smoothly.

Plus, there are typically incentives involved when you work with a community’s lender rather than an outside lending source. This can make it easier for you to secure financing and get a better deal on your mortgage.

Here in Greenville, we’ve seen a huge increase in new construction incentives as the market has leveled out, with some communities offering up to $40K in incentives!

So, while the financing process may look a little different with new construction homes than with pre-existing ones, it is not always more difficult. It can often be simpler!

Myth #3: New construction takes FOREVER to finish!

It’s true…new construction timelines often fluctuate depending on available labor, supplies, and other factors, many of which are outside the control of the builder. On our team, we’ve personally seen many of our clients deal with delayed move-in due to their homes not being ready.

However, we’d still say these delays are the exception to the rule rather than the norm. According to the 2021 U.S. Census Bureau’s Survey of Construction, home construction takes about 7 months on average, and this lines up with what we see here in Greenville.

But you don’t have to wait that long if you don’t want to. The nice thing about new construction is that you can often jump into the process at whichever point suits you as the buyer.

Many home builders start building a home long before they have a buyer. Construction on speculative homes, or spec homes, may already be underway or nearly completed by the time you start your transaction.

While many buyers purchase nothing more than a piece of land and build their dream home from the ground up, you can really purchase a home at any stage of development. If you are looking to move in the next month or two, for example, you could purchase a home that is nearly complete, add your personal design touch, and be ready to move in on your timeline.

Whether you’re purchasing a plot of land or a nearly completed home, planning in advance is key.

• Know how long your builder expects the construction process to take.
• Determine if the timeline aligns with your needs.
• Ask about material inventory and other factors that may shift the completion date of your home.

Your real estate agent can also be a huge help here. When we represent clients in a new build transaction, we negotiate on their behalf every step of the way. We can help get your questions answered and get you moved in on time!

MYTH #4: New construction is made of poorer quality than pre-owned homes.

With today’s building codes and construction standards, building construction principles are about the same regardless of the new build. Whether you’re purchasing a pre-fab townhome or building a custom home, a minimal standard of quality is required. Not only is there a minimum standard for new builds, but that standard has become more demanding, not less, over time. New homes are:

• more energy efficient.
• more earthquake and wind resistant.
• less expensive to repair than older counterparts.

While old homes often have charming details that are associated with luxury, they are also full of code violations that just wouldn’t be allowed in home construction today.

If you’ve purchased an older home, you know this to be true! Home inspection reports on older homes often come back riddled with warnings. As real estate agents, we have to walk our clients through these reports, helping them understand what is worth noting and what is merely due to age.

No such issues with new construction! With new builds, everything inside and out meets and often succeeds modern standards and codes. Any issues you may find in a report would be addressed quickly by the builder prior to move-in.

The quality of your home’s finishes may depend on your budget, and more expensive custom homes will surely have more luxury details than spec homes. However, when it comes to home construction, standards are high for new construction regardless of budget.

MYTH #5: You can’t perform a home inspection on new construction.

Speaking of home inspections, there is a huge misconception out there that you cannot perform a home inspection on new construction.

Quite the opposite! Performing a home inspection is a critical part of the home buying process for new builds. In fact, multiple home inspections will be performed throughout the building process in addition to a final inspection you as the buyer may order.

Local municipalities thoroughly inspect new construction as they are the ones who will provide a certificate of authenticity. This certification is required before you can move into your new home.

Your builder will also perform a final inspection prior to signing off. In addition to these inspections, you can hire a third party to ensure the home was built according to the local building code. You don’t have to wait until the end of the building process either! You can hire an inspection at any point in the building process. Your real estate agent can help you hire an inspector and will review your report with you.

So not only are you allowed to order a home inspection on a new build, but new construction is often subjected to multiple inspections, far more than pre-owned homes.

MYTH #6: You don’t need a real estate agent to purchase new construction.

Builders typically do not require you to have a real estate agent when entering a new construction deal, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have one, ESPECIALLY if you are a first time homebuyer.

As with any real estate transaction, you want a knowledgeable professional on your side and negotiating on your behalf. Your realtor will make sure you get the best possible price, contract terms, add-ons, warranties, target completion dates, and more. With new builds, your realtor isn’t just there for the actual transaction, they are with you through the entire building process.

Most new construction communities have a real estate agent on duty to assist you with anything you need. While these agents are knowledgeable and more than capable of helping you, their ultimate loyalty lies with the building company that hires them. Bringing your own agent to the real estate transaction ensures you have representation looking out for only your interests.

Builders are typically more than happy to work with your real estate agent as long as you include them early in the process.

When it comes to commission, the cost is often part of the builder’s budget, so you don’t have to worry about that either!

Entering any real estate transaction without professional representation is a bad idea, but it is especially damaging with new construction. Since the transaction period for new construction is so much longer than with pre-existing homes, it is vitally important that you are represented the whole way through.

MYTH #7: New homes lose value faster than established homes.

Buying a house is NOT the same as buying a car!

A car loses value as soon as it’s driven off the lot, but the same can’t be said for real estate. Real estate is an example of an appreciating asset, or an asset that increases in value over time.

Both established homes and new construction are appreciating assets and increase in value after their purchase. In fact, new construction often increases in value more quickly than established homes due to one important factor:

Home values in a new community increase as more homes are added to that community. As the neighborhood develops (and businesses open up around the neighborhood), home prices increase quickly in value. If you have shopped for a new home before, you’ll notice the final home in the community is often much more expensive than the first. This is to account for the dramatic increase in value!

Real estate does not lose value except in very rare economic situations; it appreciates over time. And new construction often appreciates more dramatically in the short run than established homes.

Bottom Line

Hopefully this article has helped you debunk a few misconceptions about new construction in Greenville, SC.

If your family is considering a move in the next couple of years, a new build may be a great option! New construction is energy efficient, affordable, and customizable to your family’s needs.

The best way to decide what type of house fits your needs best is to talk with a trusted real estate agent. At Hamilton & Company, we sit down with each of our clients to discuss their wants and needs in a home, their design style, location preferences, budget and more. All of these factors will help us understand what homes to tour with you.

Contact Hamilton & Co

Are you interested in learning more about new construction homes in Greenville? Contact Hamilton & Company! We have relationships with dozens of builders and communities across the Upstate and would be happy to help you navigate the purchase of a new build.

Learn more about Kidding Around Greenville partner, Dan Hamilton!

The 4 Home Renovations that Are Most Likely to Pay Off: Dan Hamilton’s Guide

I’ll confess, my kids end up eating far more cereal than is ideal, because it is something they can grab to eat if I don’t have something else ready. But obviously it isn’t so healthy, so my sons requested I buy them granola to have as cereal. I’m cool with that, but it gets pricey since it is much more expensive per bowl than other cereals. 

I thought of making my own granola, but I knew that most granola recipes are very expensive with lots of nuts and honey and dried fruit. So I decided to attempt to make my own granola but using cheaper ingredients. Instead of using honey (or maple syrup like I saw in vegan recipes) I used date syrup that is a fraction of the cost of honey locally. There is date syrup that is pure dates and is more expensive, so I used the stuff cut with sugar, and is just 60% dates. Before I did that I checked the store bought granola and saw that it had added sugar in it, so I didn’t feel like I was making it “less healthy” at least. When I was first testing out the recipe the kids said that it wasn’t sweet enough, so I added more sugar into the recipe, and I still don’t feel guilty.

As for nuts- I decided to leave them out because they really up the cost. Initially, I tried using peanuts in place of the nuts but my kids told me they didn’t like them. I used desiccated coconut as an addition to the oats, since they are cheaper than nuts. And I decided to sometimes add dried fruit like raisins or whatever else I could buy cheaply, but sparingly, and only after it was cooked, so it wouldn’t be burnt.

I tried this recipe over many times until I got it right and my boys were helpful with their feedback, since I can’t taste it since I can’t eat oats. They were also willing to eat the stuff that got somewhat burnt. But finally I settled on a recipe that I’m happy with because of cost and the kids enjoy as well. 

As for cost? I haven’t measured this out exactly, but since I didn’t use a scale but instead went by volume… Oats cost me about $1.40, coconut cost me $1.15, the date syrup less than $0.95, the oil $0.25, the sugar $0.12 and the rest is too negligible. So about $3.87 for this batch. The store-bought granola is $5.71 for a package. And this makes approximately 1 1.2 times the amount, so it is definitely worth the cost.

A note- I used 1 1/2 cups coconut in this and 7 cups oats, but you can play around with it and substitute part of that for nuts, seeds, etc… or even use only oats, as long as there is a total of 8 1/2 cups solid stuff for the rest to stick to.

2. Add in the rest of the ingredients other than raisins until completely uniform.

3. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

4. Spread your mixture out onto two lined baking trays. I have an extra wide (approx 60 inch) oven that I have an extra long tray for, but if you have a regular sized oven use two trays each as wide as your oven. It is important that you don’t spread this too thinly, because then it’ll start darkening before it is fully and evenly cooked. Don’t make your tray of mixture fully flat and even- you want to leave holes throughout so that it will also cook in the middle and not finish cooking on the edges while the inside is still raw.

5. Bake for 10 minutes. If using two shelves of your oven, switch the position so that the tray on the bottom is now on the top and vice versa. If using one long tray as I do, flip it around so the back is now at the front.

6. Bake another ten minutes.

7. Mix your granola so that it breaks up into chunks and new parts can be exposed to cook, and then return to the oven for an extra 5 minutes. If you see it starting to darken, remove it immediately- this burns quickly, but this is the amount of time that worked perfectly for me when I didn’t spread it out too thinly.

8. Let fully cool. If, when cooled, it is a little bit wet return it to the oven in 5 minute increments, letting it cool each time, until it is fully dry.

 
9. If desired, add raisins or other dried fruit at this point.

Enjoy!

Are you a fan of granola? Is your family? Do you make it or buy it? And now have I officially gotten my crunchy “granola” mom status with this, or have I lost it entirely since I added sugar to this? Hahaha. Does this look like something you’d try?

10 minute timer
switch 10
mix
5 minutes

If you are looking for good hot dogs in Spartanburg, SC we have you covered! With several popular spots, we are listing our reader’s favorites. Chime in and let us know if we missed your favorite hot dog space in Spartanburg.

As a hot dog aficionado, the high number of places to get a fancy frank makes me happy. Once upon a time, I visited Old Salty Dog in Florida, a place featured on Man Vs. Food, just to try the famous hot dog. It’s “salty dog” is a hot dog dipped in a beer batter that is deep-fried and served in a bun, and it is topped with onions, mushrooms, sauerkraut, bacon, and a whole lot of cheese. Get in my belly.

So, imagine my delight when I moved to Spartanburg and discovered it just might be the hot dog capital of the South. In case you haven’t noticed, Spartanburg has a ton of hot dog joints. In fact, when we asked for reader recommendations for where to find the best hot dogs in Spartanburg, we received bunches of Facebook comments with fifteen different places. I am up for the challenge.

Here’s the proof I tried the salty dog featured in Man Vs. Food!

Where to get a great hot dog in Spartanburg

Andrew’s Atomic Dogs

1011 Union Street, Spartanburg
Did someone say breakfast dogs? Andrew’s Atomic Dogs has a wide menu, but as the name suggests, hot dogs are their main feature. If you go at breakfast, you can enjoy your breakfast meat and eggs served in a soft hot dog bun.

Taco Dog

1915 East Main Street – Suite 7, Spartanburg
Confession – they had me at the name. Anytime you combine two of my favorite things, I am in. Thankfully, it does not disappoint! As the name suggests, Taco Dog serves unique tacos, nachos, enchiladas, quesadillas, and a variety of hot dog options.

We tried the Pimento Dog, the Carolina Dog, and the Wasabi Dog (no longer on their menu). Each hot dog was its own special creation. You will love their hot dog menu if you are into non-traditional toppings. Plus, I got a side of chips and guac. That’s a win-win in my book.

Boots and Sonny’s

120 E. Henry Street, Spartanburg | 328 S Howard Avenue, Landrum
Boots and Sonny’s was also recommended by Kidding Around followers. This drive-in restaurant is home of the Hot Dog Man. It is a third-generation family-owned business serving Spartanburg since 1962. Based on the recommendations and the fact that they sell close to 2000 hot dogs a day, they are next on my list to try.

Franks for the Memories

468 Oak Grove Road, Spartanburg
Franks for the Memories is new to our list of reader recommendations this year. I might have to try their chili dog or their bacon-wrapped dog when I visit.

Holmes Hot Dogs

925 W Blackstock Road, Spartanburg
According to our super-advanced Facebook survey, Holmes Hot Dogs received the most recommendations. What looks like a hole-in-the-wall down past Westgate Mall is actually one of the most happening lunch spots in town! Holmes Hot Dogs has been serving Spartanburg since 1953. They sell what they make best – only hot dogs. You won’t find any hamburgers on the menu!

Ricky’s Drive-In West

497 E Blackstock Road, Spartanburg
This is another longtime Spartanburg restaurant that the locals rave about and return to time and time again. There are two Ricky’s restaurants, but Ricky’s Drive-In West is the one that serves their signature chili.

Reader Recommendation Honorable Mentions

In addition to these options, our readers listed several other local spots to find a frank to satisfy your stomach.
According to most, the best place to go is not determined by the look of the establishment – it all comes down to taste.

Additionally, I have heard wonderful things about the hot dog cart that sets up outside of Lowe’s. If you happen to see a gathering around a little food cart, they are there for the dogs.

Do you have a teen in Greenville, SC? Maybe you’re wondering “What activities for teens near me would be fun?” If you are looking for teen-friendly activities, ways to get them involved in the community, or prepare them for college, then this list can help! Our teen guide to Greenville has all the details about things to do with teens in Greenville, SC.

This article includes:
Indoor Things to Do for Teens in Greenville, SC
Day Trips with Teens from Greenville, SC
Hiking with Teens Near Greenville, SC
Outdoor Things to Do for Teens
Free Time Things to Do for Teens in Greenville, SC
Volunteering Opportunities for Teens in Greenville, SC
School and College Prep Resources in Greenville, SC

Activities for Teens Near Me in Greenville, SC

Indoor Fun Activities for Teens

Our Indoor Guide for Teens has tons of ideas for things to do indoors with teens, everything from laser tag and trampoline parks to volunteering opportunities and movies.

Greenville County Library is an excellent resource for teens and it’s so much more than books! They offer workshops for your teens called Maker Lab, Teen Scribblers groups, Teen Book Club, and a Teen Service Day. Does your teen need help with research, homework, and test prep? The library helps with that too!

Day Trips for Teens

Day trips with teens are a great way to spend some quality time, exploring together, or just having fun. Here’s our list of the best day trips for teens & tweens near Greenville!

Hiking with Teens

Are you looking for a hike near Greenville for teenagers or adults? Here’s our list of great hikes for teens in the Upstate! Some are challenging and some are a bit more relaxed, perfect for a day with friends or family.

Outdoor Activities for Teens Near Me: Greenville, SC

Ziplining

Flying Rabbit Adventures in Greenville has awesome, huge ropes and zip line courses, perfect for teens. You can grab lunch at Home Team BBQ right next door.

Flying Rabbit Adventures
821 Laurens Road, Greenville
864.230.0191

Treetop Quest is an aerial adventure park with over 60 obstacles and zip lines. Courses range from easy (ages 4-6) to difficult (ages 12+) so there’s something for everyone!

Treetop Quest
16 Alma Street, Greenville SC
864.907.9539

The Gorge Zipline, located in Saluda, claims to be America’s steepest and fastest zipline canopy tour. It begins in the Green River Gorge and descends 1100 feet into the beautiful Blue Ridge wilderness.

The Gorge Zipline
166 Honey Bee Drive, Saluda, NC
828.749.2500

Kayaking and Paddleboarding

We are surrounded by countless lakes and rivers that are perfect for paddling. Check out our list of 22+ Fantastically Beautiful Places to Kayak near Greenville.

Tubing on the River or in the Snow

Tubing is a great way to have fun AND beat the heat in the upstate this summer. There is just nothing better than a slow ride down a river on a tube! Check out this HUGE list of places to go tubing near Greenville. You’re sure to find one or two you’ve never even heard of that you’ll want to try out for yourself!

Ready for snow? We’re within driving distance of a number of snow tubing places including Frozen Falls Tube Park, Wolf Ridge Snow Tubing Park, and Moonshine Mountain.

Paintball

Paintball Central is about 20 minutes outside of Greenville and players can play paintball outdoors. They also sell gear. Their basic rental package is $30 and includes admission, a 3-hour session, and a rental gear package. Paintballs are sold separately.

318 Tucapau Road
Wellford, SC
866.421.7529 

Disc golf

The Upstate has embraced disc golf enthusiasm and has several courses in the area. The Upstate Disc Golf Club has tons of great resources for enthusiasts in Greenville and the surrounding towns.

Century Park Disc Golf Course | 330 Brushy Creek Road, Greer
Gower Park  | Evelyn Avenue off Laurens Road in Greenville
Holmes Park | 112 Holmes Drive, Greenville
Simpsonville City Park | 149 Park Drive, Simpsonville
Timmons Park | 121 Oxford Street, Greenville

Minor League Sports Games

With the Greenville Swamp Rabbits and the Greenville Drive alternating seasons in the Upstate, there is always a game to attend. The Swamp Rabbits open their season in October and baseball gets underway in the Spring. Tickets to these games aren’t expensive and are a fun way to entertain the whole family.

Free Time Outings and Things to Do for Teens

Have a few hours after school but unsure how to spend them? Local teen Brylan put together this list of school night outings that are perfect for teens. Whether you have one night without homework or many free evenings, you’ll find an idea or two that just might be exactly what you need.

Volunteering for Teens in Greenville

There are tons of opportunities for teens to volunteer and give back to their community. There are soup kitchens, Meals on Wheels, and places like Project Host. The City of Greenville also accepts teen volunteers for their many festivals.

While most public schools do not require volunteer hours, most private and charter schools do have a quarterly requirement. Whether your child attends public school, private school, or is homeschooled, volunteering looks very good on college and job applications, demonstrating a well-rounded and outward-looking individual. Check out our tips for your teen’s Volunteer Service Hour.

Does your teen love the outdoors? KAG’s Liene has put together a list of Outdoor Volunteering opportunities in and around the Upstate.

School and College Prep for Teens in Greenville

The Upstate provides teenagers with learning experiences all year long outside of the general education classroom. If your teen is interested in a career in science, government, or the arts, there are several local options for teens to gain experience. Read more about these opportunities here.

Looking for a new study spot? Sometimes a change of scenery can help with getting those brain waves flowing. We asked our readers where they like to go to study, and they had tons of great suggestions.

Aptly named, the Cinderella Project accepts donations of not only prom dresses but also accessories for teens. They then open up a small boutique on several dates in the early spring so young ladies can choose their perfect gown.

Is your teen looking for a summer job? We have tips for teens from a fellow teen about finding a summer job, plus a list of local businesses looking to hire teens for summer jobs in Greenville and the Upstate.

Before heading off to college in the fall, use the summer to explore the town you call home. Greenville has so much to offer young adults, and you want to be sure to experience all of them before you pack your bags. Our Kidding Around contributor Brylan has created an excellent Bucket List for Greenville College Students.

What does your teen like to do in Greenville?

Escape Artist Is One of Greenville’s Best Places for Fun and Mystery

You may have heard that community college is the thirteenth year of school or that it’s not as rigorous as a four-year university. I would like to dispel both of those myths. 

Even if you’re taking dual credit high school courses, it’s still college. And to meet state and federal requirements, as well as act ethically, community colleges offer rigorous curriculum. My students often thank me for preparing them for courses at the institutions to which they transfer. Critical thinking is the cornerstone of higher education and you’ll learn how to expand that skill through your coursework.

2. We can help you with just about anything

I tell my students that the biggest mistake they can make is waiting too late to ask for help. There are a ton of services at community colleges to help you, so take advantage of them!

Educational Assistance

Tutoring centers, peer tutoring, library classes, life-hacking workshops, professor office hours, paper editing. The list goes on and on! And because community colleges serve both traditional and nontraditional students, they provide most of these services both virtually and in person, during daytime hours and in the evenings. I have conducted online office hours with students while they are on a break at work, feeding a baby, or even at 9:00 pm. 

Material Needs

Most community colleges have food pantries, technology to loan, emergency assistance, and living stipends available. One of my students lost her home in a fire and we were able to supply her with a laptop and hotspot to borrow as well as some emergency funding to help with her living situation. If the college doesn’t have these services, someone at the college can connect you with community resources. 

Mental Health

The first time I saw a therapist was in college. Usually included with your student fees, you can meet with a mental health professional on campus. They can help with anything from school overwhelm to relationship issues. Ability services can help you ensure you have the right accommodations for physical disabilities or neurodivergence. When it comes to thriving in college, taking care of mental health is just as important as studying.

3. Small class sizes are golden

Did you know that the average class size at community college ranges from 25-35? In a large university, your required freshman classes might have 300!

In my small history classes, everyone can be involved in discussions and active learning rather than listen to me lecture for over an hour. One of my favorite things to do in my class is conduct game-based activities about historical topics and primary sources. I can do that easily in a small class. I even turned a classroom into an escape room!

Small classes ensure that each student gets more attention. I know every student’s name. We work together to create a supportive environment so that students can get to know each other and me. Even in online classes, I can reach out to each student individually and help them reach their academic goals. 

I’m not suggesting that tenured professors at research universities don’t care about their students, but teaching is often not their main job. Most community college instructors choose to work there because they love teaching and want that to be their focus. This means that some of the most innovative teaching can come out of two-year institutions and you as a student will benefit from that.

At my own institution, my colleagues and I created a multi-disciplinary project centered on food. My students conducted interviews with their families about the importance of food to their history, biology students studied nutritional aspects of food, and pastry students made desserts. We brought everything together with a contest and food tasting. This kind of innovation is something I see at a lot of community colleges!

5. Opportunities for Connection

Because we try to live into the values of being a true public institution, community colleges have robust connections with the local community. Need an internship in your field? Want a mentor in the type of career you’re interested in? Hoping to find employment in your discipline? You can make those connections.

On campus

From clubs to extracurriculars, there’s something for everyone. At my campus, the most popular student group is the Anime Club. We also hold events where students can bring their families, such as movie nights and cultural celebrations. Community colleges have diverse student populations and interactions outside of class are opportunities to learn and grow from getting to know people who are different from you.

So whether you are a high school student seeking dual enrollment, a recent high school grad, or you’ve taken years away from school, community colleges are for everyone.

More Great Reading:

Why I Recommend Community College to High School Graduates

Summer

50 Things Bored Teens Can Do to Have Fun and Be Productive

by Grown and Flown | July 8, 2021

Our teens lead busy lives with school, extracurricular activities, and scrolling endlessly through their phones. But even with all that, sometimes our bored teenagers are looking for an activity that doesn’t involve screen time. We gathered creative, helpful, educational, and fun activities for that tween or teen who wants to set their phone down, walk away from the television and DO something.…

Continue Reading

Juicy blackberries await picking at Bison Berry Farm in Enoree, SC, just a short drive from Greenville, SC. This is a perfect summer day trip to get some delicious berries! 

Blackberries are one of my favorite berries but I haven’t ever picked them here in Greenville – until now. I was supposed to be doing an interview with one of the farm’s owners, Kellee, and I really had to focus on what she was saying because I was standing there picking and eating blackberries. They are so good and I wasn’t thinking of anything else. It was like a little Blackberry heaven.

And you too can experience blackberry heaven! The farm is opening up for u-pick blackberries starting on Saturday, June 17, 2023 and will be open all summer (weather permitting) for blackberry picking. At the end of the summer, they will have sunflowers for picking also. What a summer, right?

About Bison Berry Farm 

Kellee and her family only purchased Bison Berry Farm in January of 2023 and they are learning as they go. The homeschool family is perfect for the adventure though. I met the kids before I met Kellee and they were a wealth of information about blackberries and the farm. I learned straight off that the u-pick blackberries don’t have thorns. I didn’t even know you could grow blackberries without thorns. 

The kids were happy to tell me about the acres and acres of berries on the farm when they bought it and all the work they have done to get it ready for the public to come and pick berries. 

The farm is about 70 acres total but not all of it is for blackberries. There is a beautiful pond on the property and several acres are dedicated to the bison that roam there. Yup, bison. One of the owners really likes bison so that’s how they ended up on the farm. If the bison are near the parking area, you’ll get to see these magnificent creatures when you visit. 

Berry Picking 

There are a lot – like a lot – of blackberries at Bison Berry Farm. And the berries are different varieties which means they will keep ripening all summer long at different intervals. The berries that you can pick are on thornless plants (I’m still amazed by this fact) and are absolutely delicious. They are big, plentiful, and easy to pick. 

U-pick berries are $5/pound and the farm will also be selling prepicked berries by the quart. It should only take maybe 10 or 15 minutes to pick a pound depending on how plentiful the berries are. You can pick as much as you want.

Summer Berry Picking 

Bison Berry Farm opens on June 17, 2023 from 10 am – 4 pm with lots of fun crafts and activities for kids plus local vendors and the opportunity to hold some cute ducks and chickens. Afterward, the farm will be open for the season these days and hours:

• Tuesdays: 8 am – Noon and 4-8 pm
• Fridays: 8 am – Noon
• Saturdays: 8 am – 4 pm

Tips on Enjoying Bison Berry Farm 

There are some helpful things to do when you go berry picking at Bison Berry Farm. 

• To get to the blackberry patch, you need to walk up a dirt hill. It’s about a five-minute walk and could be muddy depending on the weather. 
• Pets are not allowed so keep your dog at home. 
• You don’t need to bring any containers to pick your berries as the farm will have them for you.
• Wear closed-toed shoes. It’s a working farm and there are bugs, dirt, etc. 
• Wear sunscreen and a hat. It’s hot and sunny. 
• For people who are unable to hike up to the blackberry patch, the farm does have a lot of u-pick berries right next to the parking area. They do have thorns but you don’t need to really walk anywhere to pick them. 
• While strollers aren’t prohibited at the farm, you may have difficulty pushing it up the hill to get to the blackberry patch. 

Bison Berry does sell their berries around town so you can find them at places like Farmfare Local Grocery in Pauline, the Upstate Growers Market in Fountain Inn, the Hub City Farmers Market, and in the baked goods at Humble Grounds coffee shop in Woodruff.

Wondering where else to pick berries? We’ve got a whole list of Pick Your Own Blueberries & Blackberries.

Bison Berry Farm
2425 SC 92, Enoree, SC
864.345.3121

By Louise Kinross

Shane Neilson describes himself as a mad/autistic poet, physician and scholar. Saving is his memoir about how he found himself on the receiving end of care when his son developed intractable seizures and his daughter was diagnosed with depression. You might think being a doctor would be an advantage. But he soon found himself feeling helpless in the Ontario health system, whether it was racing his son Kazuo (Kaz) to the hospital after 15 seizures, only to be told to “take a seat,” or learning Kaz will wait a year for an MRI to rule out a brain tumour, by which time it may be inoperable. Saving also graphically recounts Shane’s experiences with hallucinations and suicide attempts related to his bipolar disorder.

BLOOM: You write about clinicians who are a “People Who Care.” Particularly as a parent, what kind of care empowers families?

Shane Neilson: The qualities of People Who Care, whether it’s a doctor or any health-care team member, are simple: kind of like someone who isn’t a doctor but who is a friend. I know that’s a high bar that pushes against the boundaries of professionalism, and I recognize it’s a tricky balance for practitioners.

They seem to care, and you can tell over time. You can’t fake caring well over time.

I also define caring as conscientiousness and curiosity—rather than closing things off out of a concern for time—and gentleness when examining patients. When patients start to tell their story listening is key. Ill children constitute a very difficult circumstance, and the onus is on people who take care of those kids to listen, because it’s hard for parents to feel heard out in the community. 

‘Normies’—normal parents who don’t have these children—will never understand. They will understand with a plastic empathy: ‘This must be so hard, so difficult.’ But they don’t understand the work and the terror. They will extend platitudes that sometimes feel very condescending and not very empathic. 

If your child has a chronic, enduring illness that causes behavioural challenges, sharing about it in general life often results in blame on the part of the parent. Not only will people impute some sort of negativity to my parenting and culpability, but they’ll characterize my sharing as complaining about him, as if I’m insulting him, as if he needs defending. My experience gets weaponized.

BLOOM: There’s one medical visit in your book where the specialist keeps pronouncing your son’s name incorrectly as ‘Kazoo.’ You and your wife keep correcting him, and he fails to get it right.

Shane Neilson: There was a racialized element to that of course because my wife Janet is half Japanese and Kaz’s name is unusual to a white North American tongue. But that was meant to be emblematic of a system that is uncaring itself.

The biggest problem, and the one that’s endemic to all aspects of care in Canada…is time itself. The amount of time someone has to give to ill people, to parents of ill children, is challenged by the industrialized, socialized health-care system. Physicians are tasked with the impossible. They can’t possibly see all the people in the time that’s allotted. They’re double and triple booked. They’ve got responsibility on wards, they get contacted while they’re seeing patients, and they have appointments interrupted. 

If you’re a parent to a disabled child the doctor has no time. It’s in their bodies, in the way they come in the door, the way they leave. They’re trying to close the appointment off all the time. They don’t want to answer questions. 

BLOOM: Yes, in your book you write about the doctor who pushed all of your questions to his nurse. But when the nurse comes in, she doesn’t know the answers, and says she’ll have to talk to the doctor and get back to you later.  

Shane Neilson: You can imagine bringing our child in for the first time with a serious medical problem, that we would have so many questions, worries, fears and concerns, and it’s devastating, demoralizing for those questions to go unanswered and to be punted to someone who can’t answer them.

BLOOM: At one point as Kaz’s condition continues to worsen, you write: ‘the uncertainty around Kaz’s health is killing me.’ What advice would you offer parents whose child was healthy, then acquired a life-threatening condition?

Shane Neilson: I don’t have any advice, other than to reflect on the shock and terror. If I have a practical piece, it would be to find that person or people in your life, somebody that is able to listen, someone you can speak with outside of the medical realm. You want someone who will listen to you as a parent without rushing to solve the problem, which is an unsolvable problem.

If you have a doctor who you determine, after many visits, seems disconnected, seems not to care, who isn’t a People Who Care, try to see someone else within that department.

BLOOM: That’s a great idea, but it can be tricky. I remember being upset about how a surgeon talked about my son and asking to see another surgeon, and the second surgeon made me feel like I had done the unspeakable, and it had to be kept a secret.

Shane Neilson: I got us referred to another tertiary centre and after waiting many months, my son was refused by that centre. You know how these specialists are. They think you’re a problem: You were taken care of by another tertiary care practitioner, so what can I offer? They view the parents of an ill child who feels they’re not being listened to as a problem. A complainer.

It’s only been recently that I connected up with a support group for dads with disabled children and it was tremendously affirming.

When I was going through this experience with my son, social media was in its relative infancy. If it was happening now, I would get online and connect with parent groups for a particular illness and network and share. I have a physician friend whose child has a rare genetic mutation that causes intractable seizures and they were able, in short order, to discover a community of families online. There’s the benefit of having your experience affirmed, and there’s the benefit of being able to quickly determine if the care your child is receiving is good.

Other parents will immediately get you up to speed in terms of what their child went through, how fast they got tests, and the kind of treatment they got.

BLOOM: What did you learn about our health system from being on the receiving end with Kaz?

Shane Neilson: Working within the system I was already aware of how thinly resourced it is. But I had no idea how relatively worse those resources were for children. Typically society expresses great concern and alarm around the welfare of our children. But in actuality, when you look at the care resources available to them, they’re terrible.

One example would be that it would take over a year for my son to get a sedated MRI to rule out a brain tumour.

A second one was our experience with my daughter trying to find a psychiatrist to deal with her expressed wish to die.

The fact I was a doctor didn’t make any difference in my children being seen any faster or with any better care. In fact, I found it hurt my experience as a parent. With both children, being a physician made people wary. I felt it changed things, and not for the better. They were threatened by it and defensive.

BLOOM: I remember reading about how it was impossible to access a psychiatrist who could see your daughter on an ongoing basis.

Shane Neilson: It wasn’t just that. It was that I couldn’t find someone to see her initially, and she was only 11, in a time frame that made any sense whatsoever. 

You might think that as a doctor you would be better heard. Friends and even family would say: ‘It’s so good you’re a doctor.’ It’s presumed there’s a benefit to being in the medical community, that your child will get quicker care and that you, as a parent, will be better able to care for your child. That didn’t pan out. There really only was one benefit. I was courtesy staff at one of the hospitals where my son was taken and I had an identification badge. So if my son was having seizures, I didn’t have to sit at the triage station and beg and wait like all the other people, and wonder if he was alive. I could flash my badge and walk in.

BLOOM: How has your daughter coped with the uncertainty of her brother’s condition? Do you think his seizures contributed to her depression?

Shane Neilson: Well, there was an impact for sure. Our attention as parents understandably shifted to try to put out the fire with our son, which meant the parent focus on my daughter suffered. She wasn’t getting the same attention and care from my wife and I. 

The unpredictability meant activities she was engaged in were all disrupted. She was a profoundly capable child with so many extracurricular activities, and there was disruption in her day to day life. We’d have to go and pick her up at an activity and drive to McMaster because my son needed to get an IV to stop the seizures. I have no doubt that this played into the eventual expression of her mood.

BLOOM: Do you have any advice for parents on supporting siblings? Did your daughter take part in any sibling support groups?

Shane Neilson: I’m laughing, because that sounds like a dream. That wasn’t something I knew about. No one told me about that and I’m not sure they existed. I think it could have really prevented a lot of the trouble for my daughter.

I do have an idea for parents. At the time, I stopped practising medicine and focused on the health of my children. We were a two-parent family that could do that. I can’t imagine what it would be like with one parent.

Another thing I would do, if I had a time machine, is to create a routine activity I would do with my daughter every day, no matter what happened. Whether it was playing a game or going for a walk. Something meaningful that would demonstrate she was loved.

BLOOM: How has your experience with your children influenced how you work as a doctor now?

Shane Neilson: It’s completely changed what I do. I was a family physician in Ontario who was very busy and miserable in a sense because I was one of those doctors faced with an impossible task list that could only be completed by cutting corners and time. I was doing my best within the system to try to connect with people and to try to mitigate the damage the system necessitated, but I didn’t want to be the same doctor I complained about.

I changed what I did and I now work in a practice where I have control over my schedule.

BLOOM: You work in Student Health Services at the University of Guelph?

Shane Neilson: Yes. I shifted my practice to primarily address mental health concerns in adolescents and young adults and it’s a practice environment where I can budget the amount of time I spend with people. The expectation is that I provide good care for people, with the recognition that mental health patients can’t be run through every 10 minutes. I needed to get out of the kind of medicine I was doing.

BLOOM: You were suicidal as a medical resident, in large part because of the abuse you suffered as a child. But did working in a culture that doesn’t welcome differences like autism contribute?

Shane Neilson: Yes it did. I’m glad you noticed that. I have another book coming out that addresses that topic in 2025. I discuss, quite frankly, the ableist abuse that is endemic to medicine. I tackle it in an epistemological approach. The way medicine works, the way it functions, thinks, and moves, is on the basis of normal and abnormal. That’s it’s history.

BLOOM: It’s a value system.

Shane Neilson: It thinks in a pathophysiological way. This is normal tissue. This is diseased tissue. It has a tremendous prejudice against abnormal. It only wants normal. It wants to rectify and cure and proceeds according to a curative mentality. It identifies disease and tries to get people back. It’s very poor at managing chronic illness.

You can imagine how a group of practitioners who have bought into that mentality, who have no critique of it in their education, who don’t hear from disabled people, you can imagine how terrible they are to someone who discloses an illness.

It’s not just that philosophy that damns people who work within the system. It’s also a kind of neoliberal philosophy that hurts. In order to do the work that is normatively expected of a physician, you need to be superhuman. And if you aren’t a superhuman physician who is tremendously efficient and able to meet the requirements and process the patients, then you are a burden on the system. You are a burden to other colleagues who have to do your work. You are a burden to the department you work in.

The philosophy of medicine, the way physicians do their daily work, and the way they identify disease negatively impacts disabled people. It’s a culture where people are unwilling to identify their own chronic illness.

I’m a student advisor for medical students at McMaster and I’ve had students with chronic illness who would never, ever, ever tell the medical faculty, for fear of it negatively impacting their prospects for matching with the residency they want. There’s a disincentive to say you have an illness. It accomplishes the task for the system that chronic illness doesn’t exist, and you can imagine the resulting prejudice.

BLOOM: It’s interesting because medical schools are moving forward with other efforts to diversify their student population, but disability is always the last item on the list.

Shane Neilson: Yes. The racialized physician, the queer physician can actually perform a ‘superior’ form of medicine by addressing the specific community, so it’s in medicine’s best interest to diversify, and understandably patients like seeing that representation. You get a different experience and a different experience can provide better care.

Where are the disabled physicians? We can’t practice as fast and we may not be available as much, so why would medicine have an incentive for that?

BLOOM: How old is Kaz now and how is he doing?

Shane Neilson: He’s 14, and he’s intellectually disabled as a result of the misdiagnosis, of the neurologist who didn’t care, in my opinion. That lack of care had real implications.

BLOOM: Who is he as a person?

Shane Neilson: He likes to joke around, he loves to banter with adults. He has a girlfriend now, for the first time in his life, in a self-contained classroom. He has difficulty forming friendships, he seems disinterested. I guess he’s a chip off the old block. He likes watching YouTube and loves junk food. One of the positive things my wife Janet and I did was get him involved in swimming at a young age, and he’s really blossomed there. He’s on the Special Olympics for his high school team. He actually got first and third in two meets that he did, including provincials, and he’s only in Grade 9, so he has a lot of time to grow.

Like this interview? Sign up for our monthly BLOOM e-letter. You’ll get family stories and expert advice on raising children with disabilities; interviews with activists, clinicians and researchers; and disability news.

If you’re searching for “inexpensive day trips near me” or looking for fun outside Greenville that won’t break the bank, we have a list for you. This list of 10 fun day trips includes only destinations that are budget-friendly, keeping the cost approximately $40 or less for a family of 4.

All of these inexpensive day trips are also under 2 hours to save money and time in the car, but they are all outside Greenville. Otherwise, it’s not really a trip is it?

---

Sliding Rock, NC

Pisgah Highway, Pisgah Forest, NC 28768 | Distance: 1 hour and 15 minutes from Greenville
Cost: $5/person

This waterfall in the Pisgah Forest (Asheville, NC area) is a natural water slide that has become a day trip destination for families all over the Carolinas. The slow sloping waterfall is 50 feet and the pool at the bottom is approximately 6 feet deep. Lifeguards are on duty during the peak times in the summer (9 am – 8 pm)
Lifeguards are on duty and restrooms are available when a fee is charged. There is no cost to just watch people slide.

Swimmers are advised to wear old clothes including shorts and closed toed shoes. Due to the depth, you will want to bring life vests for anyone in your group who can’t swim.

Find out more about Sliding Rock, NC.

Hendersonville, NC

Hendersonville is full of low-cost, family fun making it a perfect day trip from the Upstate. You’ll be busy the whole day. We have a huge list just for this topic. Free and Cheap Things to do in Hendersonville, NC

But, here are a few of our favorites to get you started.

Team ECCO Aquarium

Team Ecco
511 North Main Street, Hendersonville, NC
Admission is $6.75 for ages 5 to 65. $5.75 for seniors and $4.75 for kids ages 1 to 4.

Hands On! Children’s Museum

318 N. Main Street, Hendersonville, NC | Distance: 1 hour from Greenville
Admission: $10/ticket for adults and children

Also in downtown Hendersonville, you will find the Western NC Air Museum, Mineral Museum, Henderson County Heritage Museum, Ocean Center and Aquarium, and a Train Depot. These smaller attractions are all either a nominal ticket price or donation only.

Just a couple miles from downtown is also the home of Jumping Rock. This historic look-off point is not too difficult of a hike. Be aware though that it is steep and the hikes along the sides of the lookout are not fully fenced.

Be sure to check out our guide on Free Things to Do in Hendersonville, NC.

Carl Sandburg’s Home

81 Carl Sandburg Lane, Flat Rock, NC | Distance: 1 hour from Greenville
Admission: Free to enter the park, access the bookstore and information on the ground floor of the *Sandburg Home, walk the trails and visit the barn.
$10/adults & kids over 16 years of age; kids 15 & under are free for a guided house tour
Hours: The Sandburg Home & Goat Barn is open daily 10 am – 3 pm.
Closed Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years Day.

Read our review of Carl Sandburg’s home.

Devil’s Fork State Park

161 Holcombe CIR, Salem, SC | Distance: 1 hour from Greenville
Admission:  $8 adults; $5/ SC seniors 65+; $4 children ages 6-15; ages 5 and under enter for free.
Distance: 1 hour from Greenville

This scenic state park includes two trails, camping and access to the popular Lake Jocassee. Swimming, fishing, and boating are allowed at the lake.

Learn more about Devil’s Fork State Park.

The South Carolina Botanical Gardens & Bob Campbell Geology Museum

150 Discovery Lane, Clemson SC | Distance: 45 minutes from Greenville
Admission: Free for grounds, geology museum, and visitor center

Read a full list of fun things to do with your kids in Clemson, SC.

Stumphouse Tunnel Park and Issaqueena Falls

About 7 miles northwest of Walhalla on Highway 28 | Distance: Approx 90 mins from Greenville
Admission: Free | $5 parking fee per passenger car

Read our full review of Stumphouse Tunnel Park and Issaqueena Falls.

For more choices, see our list of places to hike near Greenville, or our list of Waterfalls Near Greenville.

Spartanburg Science Center

200 E St John St, Spartanburg, SC | Distance: Around 45 minutes from Greenville
Admission: $5 (ages 5+)

This science center is small but includes animals and interactive exhibits. Other nearby inexpensive attractions in downtown Spartanburg include: free splash pad at the adjoining Barnet Park, ice cream from Hub City Scoops, or free mini-golf (E. Main Street) at Sparkle City Mini Putt.

Find more information at Spartanburg Science Center.

While you’re in Spartanburg don’t miss:

• Hatcher Gardens, a totally free garden to explore. It’s gorgeous!
• Airport Park, an airplane-themed park beside the Spartanburg airport, complete with a splash pad

The Children’s Museum of the Upstate Spartanburg

130 Magnolia Street, Spartanburg SC | Distance: Around 45 minutes from Greenville
Admission: $7

TCMU’s Spartanburg location is specifically designed for children 5 and under. The museum has 7 exhibits including areas for 2 and under and a water table. This location does accept TCMU Greenville memberships as reciprocal.

Anne Springs Close Greenway

2573 Lake Haigler Drive, Fort Mill SC | Distance: Approx 1 hour 45 mins from Greenville
Admission: $12 per person (age 13+) | $6 per person child (ages 5-12)

Read our review of The Anne Springs Close Greenway, and Our Guide to Spending a Day in York County, SC

Athens, Georgia

Athens, Georgia is only 1 hour 45 minutes away from Greenville and is packed with fun things to do with your family. You could make it a day trip or even a weekend away. Check out our full guide on where to stay, things to do, where to eat, and more during your trip to Athens.

Mile Creek County Park

Swim in Lake Keowee, play in the small sandy area, string a hammock in the trees, play on the playground or have a picnic. Whatever you choose, you can do it all for one $5 per car admission fee.

Mile Creek County Park
757 Keowee Baptist Church Road, Six Mile, SC

Draper WMA Sunflower Fields: Gorgeous and FREE to Visit

Have you heard about the sunflower fields at the Draper Wildlife Area? If you are looking for a magical place to take family photos or just a place to visit for fresh air and a change of scenery, we found a place just south of Rock Hill that won’t cost you a dime to enjoy. The Draper WMA Sunflower Fields are only in bloom for a few weeks over the summer, but if you hurry you can see them in full bloom.

Why The DNR Grows Sunflowers

One of the questions I see all of the time in upstate mom groups and our own Kidding Around Community Groups is, “where can we go take photos with flowers?” In fact, in preparing to write this, I saw the question posted several times.

While other places in the Upstate are closer and available for photoshoots, I don’t think any are as big as the fields at Draper Wildlife Area. The 24 acres of sunflowers aren’t here to be photographed, though; they’re not even there to be harvested.

Draper: Managed for dove, quail, rabbit, and turkey

The South Carolina Department of Natural Resources has technicians that plant a massive amount of sunflowers and corn on several different fields at Draper. The reason sunflower seeds are planted is to ensure plenty of seed to attract doves in time for the opening of dove hunting season on Labor Day weekend.

Lots of other wildlife enjoy the seed as well, including white-tailed deer, turkey, quail, and other small game. Leading up to the hunting season though, the flowers are there looking glorious and they are free to enjoy and photograph.

How To Get To The Sunflowers

When we got to where the GPS led me, I panicked. There was just a locked gate. There were also several other cars with confused-looking drivers doing u-turns and sitting on the side of the road. I figured they were looking for the same thing we were. I drove around back and forth, not knowing what to do. In the process, we drove past something I’d like to go back to explore after the pandemic is over. Historic Brattonsville is a collection of buildings and a plantation from over 250 years ago. They have historical reenactments and other interesting things to see.

Once I found a call signal and did some googling, I realized I was just a few hundred yards from the entrance. Make sure when you are mapping your trip that you use the proper address.

USE – 1080 Draper Road, McConnells SC 29726
DO NOT USE – 1080 Brattonsville Road
(this will be the address if you search the land site in an APP)

Once you turn into the gated area, you’ll head straight back to the parking area and walk to two sunflower fields. There will be a sign and a path to the left side and the right side of the parking area. The right side has a smaller youth field. It has sunflowers but is a much smaller area.

It also has stocked fishing ponds! So If you have a fishing license, throw the poles in the car and go fishing while you are there. The fields at the end of the left trail are the large ones you came to see. You won’t be able to view them from the parking area, but it’s just a short hike on the path for a few minutes before you spot them.

Enjoying The Sunflowers: Draper WMA Sunflower Fields

Once you find the flowers, you’ll want to wander around all day among them. Remembering a few things will ensure that everybody is allowed to continue enjoying the flowers:

• This is not a park
  There are no restrooms or facilities to use, so plan accordingly.
• Pack It In- Pack It Out
  Whatever you bring in with you needs to leave with you. Remember this is only open to the public as a courtesy. Having the fields open for spectators isn’t necessary, so it could be revoked if things become problematic.
• Don’t Pick The Flowers
  Only TAKE photos.
• Bloom Time
  Depending on rainfall and other weather, the flowers usually bloom from the end of June to mid-July. Peak blooming time is generally early July. Keep an eye on the SC DNR & Visit York County social media pages for updates.
• Accessibility
  Though the path leading up to the fields is short, it is rocky and uneven. Be aware that it would be difficult to navigate with mobility aids and strollers not built for the terrain.
• The Draper Wildlife Management Area is open from dawn until dusk to enjoy the flowers as well as hiking, biking and bird watching.

If you want to have professional photos taken here, the good news is there’s no extra fee! While commercial farms make money off the sales of flowers and the charging of photo shoot fees, you’ve already paid it in the form of taxes!

---

---

---

Everyone Can Find An Adventure At SouthTown Wake Park in Rock Hill, SC

Making mistakes is not a sin; it’s a way for us to learn. Even parents are prone to making mistakes regarding their kid’s dental health. Sometimes, they think that everything is okay when it’s not. Don’t worry; you are not alone in this situation. Many parents are unaware that what they are doing is wrong, and it’s a great step that you are here in this article to learn.

In this article, we will mainly discuss the top mistakes parents make concerning their children’s dental health. Most of us are guilty of these mistakes, and some haven’t realized yet that we are making these mistakes. Let’s dive in!

1. Neglecting Dental Check-ups For Kids Dental Health

Dental visits are very important for maintaining our kid’s dental health. As parents, we are responsible for finding a clinic, setting an appointment, and taking them to it. However, many parents do not believe in the importance of dental checkups.

Thus, when something dental-related happens to their children, they pay the high price because of the expenses brought by a problem that can be prevented by not neglecting checkups.

2. Letting Kids Eat Too Much Sugar

We all know that sugar is one of the culprits that cause cavities and other dental health problems. It’s common knowledge that a few parents follow to avoid dental and diabetes problems.

However, a lot of parents right now use sugar as a way to negotiate with their kids. For example, they give chocolates just to make their kids quiet. With this belief, the number of children with chronic tooth decay continuously grows.

3. Not Addressing Dental Problems Early Enough Affects Kids Dental Health

Dental problems can easily be fixed if parents address them as early as possible. However, in rare cases, some parents think that cavities and bad breath aren’t a concerning problem and that they will go away by simply brushing their teeth.

Dental problems are called problems for a reason, and they should be fixed by a pediatric dentist as soon as possible. Junior Smiles of Stafford, a pediatric dentist in Burke, VA, has a preventive care program to help patients avoid this problem. They are fully equipped to solve any dental problems that children might have. Investing in a dental health plan can save your child’s teeth.

4. Not Teaching the Proper Brushing and Flossing Technique

Brushing and Flossing are the most common ways of cleaning our kids’ teeth and maintaining proper hygiene. However, a few parents worldwide think that their kids will learn it on their own and that they only need to give the toothbrush to them and let them figure it out.

Well, some parents are not that brutal and need more information to teach proper Brushing techniques. The negative outcome of this mistake is that your kid can eventually harm their teeth and gums. This outcome can have a great effect on the development of their permanent teeth and can also empty your pocket. So, be patient and just teach your kid how to do it.

5. Not Using Mouthguards For Sports Activities

Kids are very playful; most love to play around and join sports activities. Some parents believe that getting hurt is part of kids’ development, so, during sports events, most parents don’t even bother to give their kids protection.

Mouthguards can protect your child’s whole mouth to prevent damage to teeth, bleeding gums, or even knocked-down teeth. It is very helpful for kids of all ages, and a few adults use it at night. If you are a parent, give your child a mouthguard to protect their teeth during sports events.

Final Thoughts on Children’s Dental Health

Mistakes can happen, but you can always fix them by doing it right the next time. Investing in a great dental plan for your kid is the best way to do it.

Their health is our priority, so it’s only right that we focus and invest in things that can improve them. Our kids are purely dependent on us, and as parents, we need to ensure that even with these mistakes, we will still make it right for them.

Tinydale is on YouTube, Click here to subscribe for the latest videos and updates.

Follow Us: Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | Pinterest

Lorsque nous choisissons d’être des parents différents de la norme, nous ajoutons une couche supplémentaire de défis à nos assiettes déjà bien remplies. Sans le soutien et l’appui de la famille, des amis ou des professionnels, la tâche difficile de s’occuper de nos enfants devient beaucoup plus ardue. Les parents qui choisissent d’élever leurs enfants avec une approche centrée sur la connexion plutôt qu’une approche classique basée sur les récompenses et les punitions, se sentent souvent isolés.

Nous pouvons être déconcertés par les tensions que suscite notre choix d’élever nos enfants différemment. Nous pouvons nous sentir jugés parce que nous restons proches de notre enfant et que nous l’écoutons lorsqu’il exprime ses sentiments. Ou peut-être devons-nous faire face à des commentaires acerbes et à des critiques sévères sur notre style d’éducation. Mais souvent, le fait d’être jugé n’est pas aussi difficile à supporter que la rupture des liens avec nos proches et les malentendus qui en résultent.

La douleur du rejet lorsque notre entourage ne comprend pas notre façon d’élever nos enfants est déchirante. Être mère sans l’approbation de sa propre mère, c’est se sentir seule. Être père sans la bénédiction de son propre père est difficile.

Mais ce n’est pas une fatalité. Petit à petit, nous pouvons changer les choses grâce à ces 4 étapes :

1. Renforcer notre confiance dans notre style parental
2. Zapper nos propres réactions aux opinions d’autrui
3. Gérer avec tact la désapprobation des autres
4. Contribuer à combler le fossé avec ceux qui nous entourent

Un bon point de départ consiste à reconnaître l’impact de nos choix parentaux sur les autres et sur nous-mêmes. En tant qu’êtres humains, nous sommes profondément sociaux et notre instinct de maintenir des liens étroits avec les autres est fort et vital. L’appartenance et le partage de valeurs sont des besoins primaires.

Le simple fait de “faire différemment” peut être perçu comme une désapprobation par les autres. Faire différemment” peut accidentellement toucher de vieilles blessures et de vieilles peurs, et ressembler à une critique.

Et lorsque nous touchons des points sensibles chez nos amis et notre famille, il est probable qu’ils nous le montrent. Ils ne se doutent peut-être pas que nous sommes tombés sur un point douloureux. Ils ont l’impression que c’est nous qui sommes difficiles, que c’est nous qui rendons la vie dure, que c’est nous qui avons tort. Et c’est ce qu’ils nous montrent avec leurs commentaires ou leurs regards “en biais”.

De même, nous avons tendance à ne pas remarquer que nos opinions divergentes ont touché une partie vulnérable de nous-mêmes. Nous avons tendance à penser que notre mère ne nous soutient vraiment pas, que notre ami est si critique ou que le médecin de famille est tout simplement ennuyeux.

Accepter que les différences créent des défis nous aide. Cela nous invite à les gérer avec plus d’habileté. Si nous voulons nous sentir plus en sécurité dans nos relations et tenir bon face aux différences, nous devons guérir nos propres blessures et trouver des moyens de montrer à nos amis et à notre famille à quel point nous sommes encore attachés à eux. Ces quatre étapes nous permettront d’y parvenir petit à petit.

Renforcer notre confiance en notre style de parentage

Lorsque nos proches désapprouvent implicitement ou explicitement notre façon d’élever nos enfants, nos inquiétudes s’envolent rapidement. Quelque part au fond de nous, nous avons tous cette crainte : “Je ne suis pas un assez bon parent”. Nous aimons tellement nos enfants et ferions tout pour que la vie se passe bien pour eux. Nos imperfections sont donc criantes. Nous ne pouvons pas être des parents parfaits. Nous ne pouvons pas faciliter la vie de nos enfants autant que nous le voudrions. L’imperfection est inévitable et elle fait mal. Nous devons libérer et contrer ces sentiments et renforcer notre confiance en nous.

Le fait de savoir clairement pourquoi nous exerçons notre rôle de parent comme nous le faisons peut nous aider à renforcer notre détermination et notre conviction quant à la voie que nous suivons. Hand in Hand propose un panier plein de ressources pour nous aider : des témoignages de parents qui ont réussi et des articles sur la science du parentage. Et notre liste de lectures recommandées cite de nombreux ouvrages qui soutiennent l’idée de se concentrer sur la construction du lien parent-enfant (notamment A General Theory of Love et Parenting from the Inside Out).

Reçois du soutien. Nous n’avons pas besoin d’abandonner notre famille et nos amis, mais nous avons besoin de trouver d’autres personnes qui ont de l’empathie pour nous et qui nous soutiennent dans notre parcours parental. Hand in Hand vous propose de nombreux moyens d’y parvenir. En ligne, vous pouvez entrer en contact avec des parents partageant les mêmes idées grâce à notre club de parents, nos groupes de soutien, notre programme de formation initiale ou notre groupe communautaire via l’application gratuite de Hand in Hand. En personne, contacte ton formateur local.

Prends le temps d’écouter. Travailler sur les peurs qui surgissent face à la désapprobation des autres peut t’aider énormément. Trouve quelqu’un pour t’écouter pendant que tu cherches à comprendre ce qui t’inquiète à propos de tes enfants et de ton rôle de parent. Le fait de parler de ces peurs et de les dissiper peut faire des merveilles pour renforcer ta confiance en tant que parent. L’échange d’une écoute chaleureuse avec un autre parent est au cœur de l’approche Hand in Hand. Le soutien émotionnel offert par les Partenariats d’écoute (où deux parents échangent du temps pour s’écouter l’un l’autre en se concentrant sur la libération des émotions) te laissera frais et dispo. Il sera alors plus facile d’affronter franchement et avec compassion les jugements des autres.

L’exploration de ces sujets peut aider à démêler des sentiments enfouis :

– Dans quelle mesure souhaites-tu que ta mère, ton père ou ton ami.e soit d’accord avec toi et te soutienne ?
– Que crains-tu, s’il t’arrive de ne pas être d’accord avec eux ?
– Quels sont les sentiments qui te viennent à l’esprit lorsque tu penses que tu pourrais avoir tort ? Que tu es vraiment un bon parent ? Que tu as toujours fait de ton mieux ? Que tu as peut-être aussi commis une ou deux erreurs en cours de route ?

Zapper nos propres réactions aux opinions d’autrui

Observe tes réactions automatiques. Prends du recul sur ce que tu as tendance à faire face à la différence des autres. Te sens-tu sur la défensive, te fermes-tu ou t’emportes-tu ? Quel impact cela a-t-il sur tess relations avec ces personnes ? Certains parents se figent et perdent la parole, d’autres réagissent avec colère, ce qui entraîne des conflits, d’autres encore sont tellement gênés ou sur la défensive qu’ils finissent par adopter le comportement attendu, comme gronder ou distraire leur enfant, et regrettent plus tard de ne pas s’être rapprochés, d’avoir écouté et d’avoir fait preuve d’empathie.

Reçois du temps d’écoute. Un temps d’écoute régulier peut être un moyen puissant de modifier nos réactions spontanées et de trouver de nouvelles façons de réagir face au jugement. Nous pouvons profiter de la sécurité du Partenariat d’écoute pour fulminer et rager en toute intimité sans nuire à nos relations importantes. Nous pouvons retourner auprès de nos familles et de nos amis avec amour et compassion, après avoir évacué notre colère. Nous pouvons utiliser le temps d’écoute pour explorer :

Terminer la phrase : “J’aimerais que ma mère/amie/médecin de famille ….” Terminer la phrase : “Quel souvenir d’enfance ce manque de soutien me rappelle-t-il ?” Adopter l’attitude légère “C’est ma mère/ mon père/ mon ami !” pour s’entraîner à accepter ce qu’ils sont.

Prends des mesures d’urgence. Définis des stratégies d’urgence que tu pourras utiliser dans le feu de l’action lorsque ceux qui t’entourent te pressent. Prévois peut-être de t’éloigner, de boire un verre d’eau, d’appeler un ami ou de t’enfermer dans les toilettes pour prendre un peu de recul. Le fait d’avoir un plan et de le mettre en pratique peut contribuer à modifier le schéma de ces moments délicats. Cet article, qui présente quelques techniques de survie lorsque nos enfants nous poussent à bout, peut te donner d’autres idées.

Expérimente de nouvelles réponses. Trouve de nouveaux schémas. Comment peux-tu rester ferme dans ton opinion, tout en transmettant de la chaleur aux autres ? Il est important non seulement de rester ferme en nous-mêmes, mais aussi de faire passer le message “Je me soucie” à ceux qui nous entourent. Nous pouvons utiliser nos Partenariats d’écoute pour essayer de nouvelles réponses qui pourraient nous convenir et nous permettre d’être à l’écoute de notre enfant. Les deux sections suivantes donnent quelques suggestions.

Gérer avec tact la désapprobation des autres

Il est généralement inutile d’essayer de persuader les personnes qui t’entourent de se convertir à ton style d’éducation. Essayer de prouver que tu as raison (et qu’ils ont tort) fonctionne rarement. Essaie plutôt les réponses suivantes à la place :

Face aux critiques, dis : “Je suppose que nous devons accepter de ne pas être d’accord”.

En réponse à des commentaires désapprobateurs, à des remarques sarcastiques ou à des moqueries, dis simplement et légèrement : “Aïe !”.

Lorsque des adultes bien intentionnés interviennent pour “aider” en proposant des réponses classiques à ton défi parental, tu peux dire : “Je pense que tout va bien pour l’instant” ou “Je vous ferai savoir si nous avons besoin d’aide”.

Lorsque ton enfant pleure ou fait une crise, d’autres personnes peuvent se précipiter et essayer de le distraire avec de la nourriture ou des divertissements. Ils peuvent aussi faire des commentaires tels que : “Arrête de pleurer”, “Tu es bête”, “Ne sois pas triste”, “Sois courageux” ou “Tu ne peux pas toujours avoir ce que tu veux”.

Tu peux répondre par un chaleureux et fort “C’est bon, merci ! Je m’en occupe” ou “Je pense que nous avons juste besoin d’un moment”. Tu peux emmener ton enfant dans un autre espace, à l’abri des regards, afin de l’écouter. Pour les observateurs extérieurs, cela peut aussi ressembler à une punition, ce qui peut également apaiser les tensions.

Trouve un équilibre entre le besoin d’empathie de ton enfant et les besoins d’un adulte en difficulté. Parfois, tu peux adoucir le cœur d’un adulte en faisant preuve d’empathie à son égard, en même temps que tu fais preuve d’empathie à l’égard de ton enfant. Si l’adulte dit : “Ils ne font jamais ce qu’on leur dit”, tu peux dire : “C’est tellement frustrant, n’est-ce pas, quand nos enfants résistent ! Ou encore : “C’est tellement difficile pour eux quand nous sommes fâchés contre eux”. Si l’adulte dit : “Elle est toujours si méchante avec sa sœur”, tu peux dire : “C’est difficile quand nos enfants se disputent. C’est difficile pour tout le monde.”

Contribuer à combler le fossé avec les personnes qui nous entourent

Fais en sorte que le temps passé ensemble soit positif. Que peux-tu faire, ou où pouvez-vous vous rencontrer, pour que cela convienne à tout le monde ? Est-il préférable de se retrouver à la plage, au parc ou à la maison ? Devrais-tu essayer de préparer le repas à l’avance afin de pouvoir accorder à chacun une attention plus détendue ?

Fixe des limites au temps que vous passez ensemble. Parfois, la façon dont toi ou la personne qui t’est proche vous sentez interpellés par les différences qui existent entre vous, peut impliquer que vous deviez trouver de nouvelles façons d’être ensemble. Le message essentiel que tu veux faire passer est : “Je me soucie de toi”. Parfois, vous pourrez avoir des conversations directes à ce sujet ; d’autres fois, vous devras prendre les devants.

Tu pourrais avoir besoin de dire des choses comme :

“Je veux vraiment apprécier d’être avec toi, alors quand nous viendrons te rendre visite, nous louerons un logement à proximité plutôt que de rester avec toi pour que nous puissions profiter de notre temps ensemble”.

“J’ai très envie de te voir et je pense que nous passerons tous un bon moment si nous nous rencontrons pendant deux heures cette fois-ci”.

Il se peut aussi que tu doives faire cela indirectement, par exemple : “Noa ne dort pas bien et je ne veux pas t’empêcher de dormir toute la nuit, alors nous allons rester dans un logement à proximité”.

Essayez de passer du temps ensemble sans les enfants. Passer du temps avec les adultes de ta vie sans les enfants peut vous aider à profiter les uns des autres sans la tension que les enfants apportent. Même 10 minutes peuvent faire la différence. Passe ce temps à apprécier l’autre et à t’intéresser à lui. Traite ce moment comme un Temps Particulier pour lui !

Sois enjoué.e. Lorsque nous nous sommes débarrassés d’une bonne partie de notre propre tension émotionnelle, nous pouvons nous rendre compte que nous pouvons jouer avec les différences qui ont causé des frictions dans le passé. Nous pouvons essayer d’inviter les autres à rire de nos propres bizarreries : “Tu me connais, c’est moi qui suis bizarre et qui n’utilise pas un tableau avec des étoiles pour mes enfants !

Tu pourrais même être en mesure de répondre de manière ludique lorsque l’un de tes proches réagit par réflexe. Peut-être que ton père se moque de toi lorsque vous fais XYZ, alors tu t’amuses à lui ébouriffer les cheveux en disant “Voilà mon père !”.

Apprécie ceux qui te sont proches. Remarque la façon dont ils s’occupent de toi. Fais-leur savoir que tu vois les efforts qu’ils déploient pour toi et ta famille. Il se peut que cela ne se passe pas comme tu le souhaiterais, mais tu peux supposer qu’ils veulent se rapprocher de toi.

• Écoute-les. Pose-leur des questions sur leur enfance. C’est un excellent moyen de développer l’empathie et d’aider les gens à voir les choses du point de vue d’un enfant. En les écoutant et en t’intéressant à eux, tu montres que tu te soucies d’eux. Tu pourrais demander : “Comment tes parents se comportaient-ils avec toi lorsque tu faisais une bêtise ?” ou “Qu’arrivait-il aux enfants de ta famille lorsqu’ils pleuraient ? Qu’as-tu ressenti ?”
• Demande-leur de faire part d’une compétence. Partage doucement des informations. Concentre-toi sur la modélisation de ton approche parentale sans donner d’explications inutiles. Si on te le demande, tu pourrais humblement dire quelque chose comme : “Je sais que cela semble vraiment bizarre, mais quelqu’un m’a montré que si l’on écoute ton enfant jusqu’à ce qu’il arrête de pleurer, il est en fait plus heureux et réfléchit mieux que si l’on essaie de l’arrêter”. Et si la personne semble intéressée, tu pourrais lui proposer de lui prêter ton livre Écoute.

Ayez cette conversation difficile. Parfois, il est important de s’asseoir courageusement avec un adulte dans notre vie et d’avoir cette conversation très difficile. Nous pouvons :

• Trouver un terrain d’entente. Il peut s’agir de beaucoup de choses, par exemple, simplement souligner combien vous aimez tous les deux vos enfants, combien vous voulez tous les deux qu’ils réussissent dans la vie, ou combien vous voulez profiter de leur compagnie.
• Préparer le terrain en disant par exemple : “Je sais que nous avons des points de vue différents et je pense que nous devrions accepter de ne pas être d’accord, mais j’aimerais t’expliquer où je veux en venir. Tu n’ess pas obligé.e d’être d’accord. Tu n’es pas obligé.e de dire quoi que ce soit, mais j’apprécierais que tu m’écoutes”.
• Explique que tu essaies d’utiliser les dernières recherches sur le développement cerveau qui montrent l’importance de la connexion, que les récompenses ne fonctionnent pas bien à long terme et que les punitions entraînent d’autres comportements antisociaux. Explique que ton objectif est d’élever un enfant en bonne santé émotionnelle.
• Rassure-les. De quoi penses-tu qu’ils ont peur ? Ils pensent peut-être que tu es trop permissif/ve. Dis-leur que tu penses qu’il est important de fixer des limites. Ils craignent peut-être que cela te demande trop d’efforts. Dis-leur que le rôle de parent est épuisant, quelle que soit l’approche adoptée, et que tu fais tout ce que tu peux pour obtenir du soutien.
• Remercie-les de t’avoir écouté.e. Donne-leur la possibilité de s’exprimer à leur tour. Veille à ne pas te laisser emporter par tes réactions instinctives. Écoute simplement.
  Si tu as du mal à élever tes enfants différemment de ceux qui t’entourent, j’espère que ces quatre étapes te permettront d’inverser la tendance.

Related

Whether you’re a budding flower farmer or a passionate flower growing enthusiast, having access to valuable resources is essential to thrive in this blooming industry. Books provide a wealth of knowledge, inspiration, and practical tips that can help you cultivate beautiful blooms and cultivate your skills. Then perhaps you will know if you want to try your hand in the flower growing market. You can sell ethical cut flowers to florists, sell flowers directly at markets and boutiques, sell via a you pick flower farm, or grow to harvest and sell seeds among other options.  In this article, we present the top 5 books for potential flower farmers and flower growing enthusiasts on the market today.

1. “The Flower Farmer: An Organic Grower’s Guide” by Lynn Byczynski

Lynn Byczynski’s “The Flower Farmer” is a must-read for anyone looking to embark on a journey in flower farming. This comprehensive guide covers everything from selecting the right flowers for your climate to practical advice on soil preparation, planting, and harvesting. Byczynski’s emphasis on organic growing methods and sustainable practices makes this book a valuable resource for those interested in eco-friendly flower farming.

2. “Floret Farm’s Cut Flower Garden: Grow, Harvest, and Arrange Stunning Seasonal Blooms” by Erin Benzakein

Erin Benzakein, a renowned flower farmer and founder of Floret Farm, shares her expertise in “Floret Farm’s Cut Flower Garden.” This visually stunning book not only offers valuable insights into growing a variety of flowers but also provides guidance on arranging them into captivating bouquets. With gorgeous photographs and step-by-step instructions, Benzakein’s book is a delightful companion for both beginners and experienced flower enthusiasts. I also recommend watching her TV show!

3. “The Flower Recipe Book” by Alethea Harampolis and Jill Rizzo

For flower lovers who are intrigued by the art of floral design, “The Flower Recipe Book” is a treasure trove of creativity. Alethea Harampolis and Jill Rizzo, the founders of Studio Choo, present a collection of innovative floral recipes that guide readers through creating stunning arrangements. With detailed instructions and beautiful visuals, this book encourages experimentation and helps readers develop their unique style.

4. “Cool Flowers: How to Grow and Enjoy Long-Blooming Hardy Annual Flowers Using Cool Weather Techniques” by Lisa Mason Ziegler

Lisa Mason Ziegler’s “Cool Flowers” offers a fresh perspective on flower farming by focusing on cool-season annuals. This book explores how to extend the growing season and maximize bloom production using specific techniques suitable for cooler climates. It is a new concept to many to start your seeds and plant seedlings in the fall, BEFORE the winter, but it works!! Ziegler’s expertise and practical tips will empower flower farmers to cultivate a wide array of beautiful blooms even in challenging weather conditions.

5. “The Flower Gardener’s Bible: A Complete Guide to Colorful Blooms All Season Long” by Lewis Hill and Nancy Hill

“The Flower Gardener’s Bible” is an essential resource for both novice and experienced flower gardeners. Lewis Hill and Nancy Hill provide a comprehensive guide to growing and maintaining a vibrant flower garden throughout the year. This book covers various topics, including plant selection, soil preparation, pest control, and creating stunning flower displays. With its practical advice and beautiful illustrations, this book is a valuable addition to any flower enthusiast’s library.

For aspiring flower farmers and flower growing enthusiasts, these top 5 books offer a wealth of information, inspiration, and practical guidance. From organic farming techniques to innovative floral design, these books cover a wide range of topics, empowering readers to cultivate beautiful blooms and nurture their passion for flowers. Whether you’re starting a flower farm or simply seeking to enhance your gardening skills, these books will undoubtedly blossom your knowledge and elevate your flower-growing endeavors.

My boys have been spending a lot of time together in the backyard digging holes, planting gardens, and trying to start fires in the fire pit without matches or a lighter. I often spy on them through our sliding glass doors.

If they knew I did this it would irritate the heck out of them, but is too good to miss. Also, it’s my right as their mother to take in all these wonderful moments whenever I can. 

My daughter often brings her brother’s desserts home from her job as a hostess or makes special dinners for them. I love seeing them bounce up from their chairs and meet her at the door to see what she has for them. It makes her incredibly happy. It makes them happy, and man, it makes me happy to be able to witness it all. 

I love when my teens help each other

Sometimes, they all sit around binge-watching a show together, pile in the car to get a coffee. Often they help each other with a project like when my youngest gave my oldest a hand when he was trying to get his four-wheeler started.

It might sound like such a small thing, but watching their twenty-year-old , eighteen-year-old, and sixteen-year-old selves takes me back to when they were little when they’d be chasing fireflies around the yard, lighting sparklers, and sledding down our tiny hill. 

Only now, it’s better. 

Seeing your older kids not just get along, but share a genuine bond and form a relationship that I hope lasts a lifetime, is the best gift I’ve ever been given as a parent. There are times I stick my nose into their conversations to tell them how happy it makes me to see my children are truly friends. (Yes, I get all the eye rolls.)

Nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids form their own relationships

But, most of the time I stay quiet. I listen to their conversations without interfering because when I do that, it takes away from their time, their way of forming their own relationship. There’s nothing that gives me that warm fuzzy feeling like watching them help each other, ask each other for advice, or talking about the little people they used to be. 

It gives me peace of mind knowing they don’t solely depend on me–they depend on each other. There’s going to come a day when I’m not here and they won’t be able to stop by and see me, call me to ask me a question, or have me at a special event or milestone. 

But, they will have each other. 

When my kids were younger, someone was always having a meltdown

When they were younger, they got along pretty well, but because I had three of them three years apart, there was always one who was left out. Their quiet play time only lasted a few minutes and someone was always having a meltdown when we did family things. 

Moms of teenagers and twenty-somethings often talk about the nostalgia of the younger years. How much they miss the simpler times and that their kids are so busy now with their own lives, they feel a part of them is missing. 

I get that. I truly do. I still feel all of those things, and there’s not a lot I wouldn’t give to be transported back in time and have one more day with them when they were little kids who let me inhale their silk smooth heads, have them take a nap on my lap, and reach for my hand in the grocery store. 

Seeing the relationship they have now makes me appreciate this time in our lives

However, seeing the relationship my kids formed together, and what it’s done for their confidence and well-being, honestly makes up for all of that. 

I know whatever they decide to do in life–change careers, start a family, move out of the country, start their own business, go through a bad break up–they won’t just have me. They will also have two other people who they can count on for love and support. They will have two people who have seen them grow up and tackle hard things. They will have two people who know them like no one else does. 

I also know if there’s something they want to talk about but don’t feel comfortable coming to me, they have each other to lean on.

I feel incredibly lucky every time my son goes out and checks on my daughter’s car to make sure it’s running okay. I love seeing my son’s talk about a television show they are really into and watching together. And nothing, nothing has made me happier than seeing those three (very grown-up heads) walking our dog down our road, or coming back from a coffee run. 

Yes your kids will grow up, move out, need you less, and you won’t get to see them as much. It can be incredibly painful and leave a deep void you aren’t sure how to fill. But if your kids have a close relationship with each other, it kind of makes up for all of that. I promise. 

More Great Reading:

A New Baby, and a New Friendship Transforms Siblings Into Sisters

Three wet towels on the floor. It sounds cliche, but if you’re a mom of a college student who has returned home, you know where I’m going with this.

I am so happy to have him home. I’ve been counting the days. I’ve tried to make the house the type of home that a college kid wants to live in again. I’ve stocked the refrigerator with his favorite pizza; I refreshed the sheets in his old room.

Last night his ‘old’ high school friends came over. As I heard them laughing in the next room, everything just felt right. My husband could see the joy on my face as I made some popcorn for the crew.

My son’s friends look different now

His friends look a little different now: more self-assured and comfortable in their own skin.  They are wiser, of course, after one year of school (cue my amused sarcasm). One has a full mustache now. I’m not sure if it suits him, but I get it. He is making a statement. My son bleached his hair. It’s something new. One of them got a tattoo.  

It’s as it should be. They are adults now, and they want to make sure the world knows it.  When they return to their hometown, they want to send a message to the peers they had spent the first 18 years of their lives with: I’m different now. 

I remember all of that from my own college days. I remember having breakfast with my mom after my first semester, and she turned to me and said, “You seem older now.” It was exactly what I thought. It was why I walked with a new swagger in my ’90s overalls. 

I recall a new found confidence I’d attained that first year, one that came from the realization that the world was a whole lot bigger than it used to be, and I could now decide how I’d like to be part of it. I see that in my son, too, and I’m glad for it. 

But back to the three wet towels.

It doesn’t seem like bathing requires that. And more confusingly, why does this person with a new, fresh feeling of adulthood resort back, suddenly, to old habits? The rule used to be that towels were not left on the floor.

When your teens are home for the summer what are the house rules?

What are the house rules now?

Obviously, he needs to pick and hang them up. But they feel symbolic of something bigger, such as deciding whether we require a curfew during the summer, how often he can take the car, and how many hours he works per week. There are real issues that need to be discussed, defined, and established – and they are much more important than my bathroom floor.

I am so proud of this grown child who’s come home, of the man he’s become, and I want him to make his own choices. But I also know he is still young. And, at the moment, living in my home.

The ‘house rules’ need to be reframed as expectations

The rules, I realize, need to be reframed as expectations. Before I can articulate those expectations to him, I really need to clarify them to myself. What is it I expect from him now?  Does he come to his sister’s softball game? Does he text and let us know where he is? Is he still part of Friday movie night? These may seem like relatively small questions, but they point at something bigger: the commitment of family, the give-and-take of relationships.

This reminds me of my classroom, and the students I’ve worked with over the years. One thing I’ve learned is that when the expectations of the classroom are defined, the rules are obvious.  

If the expectation, for example, is that we work until the bell rings, then the obvious rule is that we don’t line up by the door waiting for the bell. If the expectation is that we listen when someone is talking, then it goes without saying that we don’t have side-conversations when someone has raised their hand to speak. The expectations set the tone. The tone establishes what is allowed.

Rules can be replaced by what we value as members of a family

As I watch my son resettle into this house that has been his home for 18 years, I realize, now, that the rules can be replaced with reminders of what our family values and allows. He has changed, yes – but we haven’t. We still value togetherness.  

We value respecting each other enough to let other people know where we are. And we value age-appropriate independence. We recognize that he is an adult now. We’ll remind him that an adult needs to communicate with others – whether he feels like it or not – and that an adult shows appreciation toward those who love him.  

After all, college courses won’t likely teach him those lessons. The value of knowing how to respect, show up, and compromise with the ones you love will not be included in a syllabus. 

That one is on us.

More Great Reading:

Welcome Home For the Summer! Here Are The Ground Rules

The transition from middle school to high school, and then later to college, usually comes with a jump in academic rigor, but it also comes with something else. Students need to become more adept at managing their workload and their time. Their planning skills need to improve, and for many students this is as much or even more of a challenge that than the increased academic workload.

An interview with time management experts Laura Vanderkam and Sarah Hart-Unger, MD

Grown and Flown asked two of the best known experts on time and task management, how they would help teens to successfully make this transition. Here is what Laura Vanderkam and Sarah Hart-Unger, MD, co-hosts of Best of Both Worlds podcast, suggest:

A calendar is key for time management

For a teen who has trouble remembering time commitments, appointments, and due dates what tools do you suggest that might keep him on track?

LV: This is what calendars were invented for! The actual format of the calendar doesn’t matter so much, though there are a few considerations. It needs to be portable, so the teen can take it to/from classes/activities/work/home etc. It can certainly be electronic, but the teen needs to be able to access it, so if he/she can’t use a phone at school then that’s something to consider (though usually you could synch with a laptop). 

The most important aspect of the calendar is the behavior of the person who uses it. The person needs to do three things:

*Commit to putting commitments/appointments/due dates on the calendar as soon as she learns about them.

*Do a weekly review where she looks at what is coming up in the next week in particular, with a quick glance forward to the next few weeks. This helps people plan for longer term projects and allows people to solve logistical problems ahead of time. 

*Each day, look at the calendar to know what the day’s landscape will be. 

Planning is a skill, and while some people grasp it intuitively, most people need at least a little instruction here. You might start helping kids in middle school to write dates on a paper calendar, and then they can start to refine the system over time. 

SHU: I interviewed an absolute rock star of a high schooler (Aashna Shah — pageant winner, published author, and honors student – at 16!) who swore by her paper planner.  She is also a disabilities advocate who has ADHD.  I think that for those with attention issues or who find themselves easily distractible, paper may be the best option.  There are so many layouts to choose from, and some brands are particularly popular with teens (Passion Planner, Clever Fox, and Amanda Rach Lee come to mind).  

Agree that the important thing to any planner user regardless of age is consistency and developing the habit of capturing any future to-do item or calendar engagement.  It’s also important to develop rituals of looking at said planner (or digital tool) on a regular basis, such as a daily overview to set priorities and a more detailed weekly session.  Doing these things alongside your teen models the practices and you may find yourself more organized as a result!

Many teens misjudge how much time a task will take, like a homework assignment or group project, and find themselves staying up late or asking teachers for more time. How can teens better manage their schedules and assess their time commitments in an organized way?

LV: It isn’t just teens who have trouble with time estimation! It’s a challenging skill. There are adults who have driven 30 minutes somewhere, day after day, and continue to believe it’s a 15-minute drive and it’s just bad luck that they’re late again. 

If you help kids establish the concept of a weekly review, they will at least see if something big is due in the next week, and not become aware of it just the day before. You can have conversations about building in a buffer in case something goes wrong. If a teen mentions planning to write a report that’s due Friday on Thursday you might casually mention “oh, what if that turns out to be the date that everyone wants to go see that movie?” It’s just nudging people to think through scenarios.

In my house, the teens have set hours that they have to be in their rooms with no entertainment electronics. If you don’t have school work you can read or relax or whatever, but because the built in time is there, I find it nudges kids to spend a little extra time on things than they might have otherwise. Once kids go out on their own, you obviously have no way to enforce this, but you might encourage thinking through a schedule and blocking out study hours as a good practice for staying on top of things. 

SHU: Keeping some sort of big and prominent reminder of big multi-step projects – perhaps on a whiteboard where the teen works – could be really helpful and if there is enough space, could be used as a place to map out the various steps.  Breaking down a daunting project and determining intermediate due dates for various pieces might be necessary if the student has struggled in the past with an impossible task due to having no real timeline.  Totally agree that this skill set is difficult for all of us!

Time management tips for college students

For the college freshman, who is off the family calendar and keeping their own planner, what should they look for when buying a new planner?

For anyone looking to buy a paper planner, the main constraints are size, layout (daily vs weekly; days in columns vs horizontal; whether there is extra space needed for notes), and also style.  Some people prefer to keep calendars digitally but still need a planner to help with list making and goal setting.  Some popular brands are listed above; I’ll also note that for those wanting a less traditionally-feminine-appearing product, some of the international brands (especially Japanese / Korean / Taiwanese) have much more minimal and understated styles.  

College students have far more fluid schedules than high school students, do you have any time management tips to help them when they make this transition to less class time, and less formal schedule of bedtimes and activities?

LV: I actually find it’s really helpful to picture the whole week with its various time commitments (a week is the “unit of repeat” in the pattern of our lives). You can download a 168 hour spreadsheet from my website, or you can create your own. Put the days of the week across the top, Monday to Sunday, and half hour blocks down the left hand side. I go from 5 a.m. to 4:30 a.m. but if you never wake up before 8 a.m. feel free to adjust! 

Then block in classes so you see when lectures, discussion groups, and labs meet. You might then note any activities you’re planning to commit to, and you can block in meals if your dining hall is only open at certain times. You should also aim to block in approximately 2 hours of studying per hour of class, though you can adjust that over time based on what requires more or less intensity. I’m not saying you have to follow this schedule exactly but it helps to see that hey, my schedule feels more in control if I do manage to study for 3-4 hours at some point on Sundays, so I can try to prioritize that. 

As for bedtime…it’s a good idea! Yes, as an adult you can go to bed whenever you want and stay up all night if you wish. But most of us are vastly more productive if we get the amount of sleep we need every night and if we don’t move our sleep/wake times by more than an hour or so.

For a lot of college students, it would work fine to sleep from 12 a.m. to 7:30/8 a.m. during the week and from 1 a.m. to 9 a.m. or so on weekends, but that’s just a suggestion. Feel free to choose whatever time works for you, but the important thing is to have a default bedtime. That way, you are making a conscious choice if you decide to blow through it. If you don’t have a good reason to stay up, then you can just go to bed and feel much better the next morning. 

I also love the idea of setting standard ‘work hours’ in college — something I absolutely did NOT do as a student, but I’ve been fascinated to hear Cal Newport talk about this concept.  His premise is that if one is very organized and proactive, most college workloads can be completed at a high level during business hours leaving the weekend more open for recreation and fun.   Again — I cannot vouch for this personally, but it’s an interesting thing to try to shoot for!  

What are some of the best time management techniques that parents can model for their teens and how do they impart those lessons without the dreaded lecture that teens tune out?

LV: I think it’s helpful simply to talk about your own practices — not that they’re what everyone should do, but it’s helpful to explain why you’ve decided on certain strategies. I tell my kids that my bedtime is 11 p.m. because I have to be up at 6:30 with them. And then I stick with it unless I have a really good reason not to. I talk about planning out larger projects like my books, and how I break it down into smaller chunks and set intermediate goals, always building in a buffer in case things go wrong. 

If a child seems to be struggling, and they’re open to talking with you about it, definitely resist the urge to lecture (do not come charging in with “Well, I was a straight A student because I did X, Y, and Z.”). Ask them what they’re considering and you can talk about what they see as the advantages and disadvantages of each strategy. Ask leading questions. It’s the Socratic method of parenting. 

Time management tips for high school students

What are the best tools or techniques that parents can share with high school students who feel time constrained and like they “can’t get it all done?”

LV: When kids express that they can’t get it all done, they are probably looking for empathy and support. Yes, you have a lot going on! And yes, I also know that you are a competent, capable person, and you will manage it with aplomb. Past that, I know that a sense of overwhelm often stems from not knowing exactly what you do have coming up, when it needs to be done, and how long it will take. So as much as possible, encourage teens to get these matters out of their heads and onto lists. An unknown, imagined to-do list is just scary. A long list can be managed. 

Also, the less time you have your phone on, the more time you seem to have. Just speaking from personal experience here! 

SHU: Yes, I would probably urge them to consult the Screen Time app!  Sometimes kids  also just put too much on their plate and may need permission to let something go.  The ideal week exercise Laura mentioned above could be very useful here – if the pieces truly do not fit (including sleep!) an edit may be necessary. 

More Great Reading:

Executive Function: How to Help College Kids Who Struggle

About Sarah Hunt Unger and Laura Vanderkam

Sarah Hunt Unger is a pediatric endocrinologist who she posts almost daily on her personal blog and is a prolific podcaster – solo host of Best Laid Plans (all things planning and planning adjacent) and co-host with Laura Vanderkam of the Best of Both Worlds podcast (balancing work/life/fun, time management, and career development).

She has also recently launched her own planning platform! In addition to the Best Laid Plans podcast, she offers courses through Best Laid Plans Academy. She publishes a monthly newsletter, is a long-distance runner, and a married mother of three.

Laura Vanderkam is the author and mother of five. She has written several time management books including Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters, published by Penguin Random House (2022.). Receive a free time makeover guide by subscribing to her monthly newsletter here. Laura’s website is lauravanderkam.com and her podcast is Before Breakfast.

Traveling to Hilton Head Island with your family? There are lots of things to do in Hilton Head with kids! We came up with a list of the best activities on the island to ensure an awesome family trip while you visit Hilton Head Island. From dolphin watching to becoming a pirate, to playing mini-golf, to secluded beaches, and enjoying ice cream, there is no shortage of fun things to do on the island.

Admission and tickets were provided to Kidding Around for some of the activities but all opinions are those of the author.

I had heard of Hilton Head Island long before I even moved to South Carolina and wanted to go. I heard it wasn’t as commercialized as other beaches, that the pace of life is slow and enjoyable, and that the beaches were pristine. Having spent a week there with my family, I can confirm that my expectations were exceeded. While we enjoyed the beach immensely, we also did a ton of other activities that really made our time there spectacular. Here are my favorite things to do on HHI.

Find a place to stay in Hilton Head. This article contains Stay22 affiliate links.

Things to Do in Hilton Head With Kids

Pirate Cruise with Pirates of Hilton Head

Having never been on a pirate ship before, I couldn’t wait to do this with my kids. It’s one of the most highly-rated activities on the island and one that our readers most enthusiastically recommended as well.

Pirates of Hilton Head did a fantastic job of coming up with a storyline that even younger kids could follow. Aboard the Black Dagger, your kids will learn to talk like a pirate, find the treasure, and get the keys from Stinky Pete by blasting him with water from canons on the ship.

They really engage the kids in the fun, starting before you even board the ship with face paint, a pirate name, a tattoo, and a pirate vest and sash. It was so much fun. The season runs from March to November with multiple cruises per day during summer. Read my full review of Pirates of Hilton Head to get the whole story.

Pirates of Hilton Head
149 Lighthouse Road, Hilton Head Island
843.363.7000

Vanishing Island Dolphin Tour

I love, love, love dolphins. Fortunately, they are everywhere in the Lowcountry islands and salt marshes and dolphin cruises are offered everywhere. I’ve gone on a dolphin cruise with Island Explorer before and really wanted to do their Vanishing Island tour because not only do you get to see dolphins but you are taken by boat out to an island only visible during low tide and get to hunt for sand dollars.

Island Explorer is the oldest dolphin tour company on Hilton Head and the Vanishing Island tour is a favorite because it’s so unique and enjoyable. I’d highly recommend this dolphin cruise if you’re looking for something unforgettable – read all about it in my review of Vanishing Island Dolphin Tour.

Vanishing Island Dolphin Tour
101 Marshland Road, Hilton Head Island
843.785.2100

Adventure Cove Mini Golf & Arcade

We passed several miniature golf courses on Hilton Head but really loved Adventure Cove because there are two courses – Paradise Falls and Lost Lagoon, the latter is the harder course. There are waterfalls everywhere and fun holes, especially where you have to climb stairs to do a couple of them. My kids loved the two holes that are in a little cave on the Paradise Falls course.

They have clubs for all ages as well, making this a great place for the whole family. After you golf, be sure to get a bunch of tokens for the arcade, which has lots of games, like my all-time favorite: skeeball! I may have sneakily grabbed a few tokens from my kids to play that game. We only planned on spending maybe an hour here but ended up leaving after almost three hours because it was so much fun!

A single round of 18 holes of mini golf is $15/adult, $11/ages 12 and under and kids 3 and under are free. Unlimited golf for the day is $21/adult, $17/ages 12 and under. Birthday party packages start at $300 for ten kids.

Adventure Cove Mini Golf and Arcade
18 Folly Field Road, Hilton Head Island
843.842.9990

Kayak Hilton Head

Kayak with dolphins and other wildlife on a Dolphin Kayak Tour with Kayak Hilton Head.

Kayak Hilton Head
18 Simmons Road, Hilton Head, SC
843.684.1910

Mermaid of Hilton Head Boat Tour

Mermaids exist in Hilton Head Island and you can see one on a mermaid cruise on a Mermaid of Hilton Head Boat Tour. This is one of the more memorable things to do in Hilton Head with kids! While you’re searching for a mermaid, you’ll learn a lot about ocean creatures and how to protect them!

Mermaid of Hilton Head
43A Jenkins Road, Hilton Head Island
843.271.6441

SUP Tour with Lowcountry Watersports

If you are wondering about things to do in Hilton Head with kids that are older, a SUP tour is perfect! I tried out a standup board (SUP) last summer and was hooked. The board is wider than shoulder width and long like a surfboard. You use a paddle to move around and either stand up or sit on the board.

I went on the SUP tour with Lowcountry Watersports and it was a blast. Our tour guide was knowledgeable about the local creek and its inhabitants and the history of where we were paddling and the island itself. We got to paddle around Broad Creek, a salt marsh with hardly any wake from boats, so it was calm water. And we saw dolphins!

One HHI also has creek cats, which only fit two people and are perfect for zipping around the marshes and checking out Daufuskie Island, the last island in South Carolina, and local wildlife, as well as kayak tours, dolphin tours, jet ski rentals, and another pirate cruise, which leaves from Palmetto Bay Marina. Paddleboarding cost $45 per person. I could have easily spent another hour on the water as it was so awesome.

Lowcountry Watersports
86 Helmsman Way, Suite 101, Hilton Head Island
843.684.2004

Hidden Beach

I had heard of Mitchelville Beach but didn’t know much, just that you kind of had to search around for it. It’s on the very northern end of Hilton Head Island and it takes a little navigation and time on a gravel road to get there. The beach is secluded because there aren’t resorts or beach houses nearby, just a sand dunes and a large expanse of water and shells to check out. It was perfect and beautiful.

We went maybe an hour before dusk, the “golden hour” as photographers say because the light is ideal for stunning images, and it was beautiful. There weren’t many people there and I was able to grab some gorgeous shots while my kids explored the beach.

Be sure to wear shoes though because there are a lot of shells and it’s easy to step on them and cut your feet if you’re not paying attention. There are bathrooms and an outdoor shower available.

Mitchelville Beach
124 Mitchelville Road, Hilton Head Island
843.341.4600

The Sandbox Children’s Museum

My kids (ages 8 and 5) absolutely loved this hands-on children’s museum right in the heart of the island. Everything about The Sandbox invites children to use their imaginations and play freely. With two floors of more than 11 hands-on exhibits, plan to spend at least a couple hours here.

They also have free family fun nights in the spring, fall, and winter and Parents Night Out during the summer months. My full review [this review was done before they moved to their new location on Nassau Street] of The Sandbox gives all the details on the indoor pirate ship, derby racetrack, and infant and toddler space.

The Sandbox Children’s Museum
80 Nassau Street, Hilton Head, SC
843.842.7645

Ice Cream

What’s a summer vacation without ice cream? We loved Hilton Head Ice Cream, right near Coligny Park, with its eclectic décor and delicious flavors like Chocolate Cayenne. HH Ice Cream has over 40 flavors, which are all made in-house and has been open since 1982.

They won Best Ice Cream in South Carolina just a few years ago – quite the honor given the number of ice cream shops in the state! HH Ice Cream also offers ice cream to go so you can bring the goodness to go. Make sure you hit up the bathrooms at HH Ice Cream because it’s totally bedazzled and full of mermaids.

Hilton Head Ice Cream
55 New Orleans Road, #114, Hilton Head Island
843.842.6333

Celebration Park

If you are in need of things to do in Hilton Head with kids that is free, then Celebration Park is an great option. This pirate ship themed park is a blast for kids. It’s right near Coligny Beach and there is parking nearby. The pirate ship is a lot of fun plus they have a water feature over the summer, a smaller play area for little kids, a big sandbox, and misters.

Celebration Park
94 Pope Avenue, Hilton Head Island

Coligny Beach Park

Coligny Beach Park is an excellent public beach on Hilton Head Island with outdoor showers, changing rooms, bathrooms, and splash pad. Free parking is available in the lot across the street from the beach and there are gazebos with Adirondack chairs and bench swings for relaxing.

Lifeguards are stationed at this beach and you can rent lounge chairs and umbrellas for all-day use. Perhaps my favorite part of this beach was the access mat from the park to almost the ocean – it allowed for us to easily carry out chairs and towels to the water, and for wheelchairs to get to the beach and for people with wagons to also get all their stuff to the beach easily.

Across from the park you’ll find Coligny Plaza, with shops and restaurants, perfect for when you need a beach break.

Coligny Beach Park
1N Forest Beach, Hilton Head Island
843.342.4580

Adventure Hilton Head

If adventure is what you seek while on your vacation, check out the aerial ropes course at Adventure Hilton Head. These high ropes courses offer over 50 in-the-tree challenge adventures through 6 different courses that even your five-year-old will love.

Adventure Hilton Head
33 Broad Creek Marina Way, Hilton Head Island, SC

Date Night at Rock Fish Restaurant with Built-In Babysitters

The owners of Rock Fish Seafood and Steak at Bomboras and the Art Cafe came up with the genius idea of Kids Night Out so parents could have a date night at the restaurant while kids painted pottery upstairs and had dinner at the Art Cafe.

Kids Night Out is held during the summer on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday and reservations are required. We tried it out and it was a huge hit! Here’s our review.

The Art Cafe
5 Lagoon Road, Hilton Head Island

Get Local Seafood

When my family goes on vacation, we almost always stay in a rental home with a kitchen to save on eating-out costs. For this trip, we wanted to take advantage of local seafood and cook up some Carolina shrimp. I was set on finding a roadside stand and came across Benny Hudson Seafood.

We got shrimp and cocktail crab claws, which were delicious and made for an outstanding meal! They also sold swordfish, salmon, wreckfish, clams, mussels, crab, scallops, and oysters.

Benny Hudson Seafood
175 Squire Pope Road, Hilton Head Island
843.682.3474

Eat & Play on Hilton Head Island

Wherever we went on Hilton Head Island, it seemed like needs of children were taken into consideration. We found this especially true when it came to eating out. Because we were staying in a home with a kitchen, we didn’t eat out much, but when we did, every restaurant we chose had crayons and a coloring page for kids.

Two of the places – Fishcamp and Giuseppi’s Pizza – had games outside for the kids to play. We saved money by going to restaurants during happy hour and looking at daily specials. Marley’s Shrimp Shack had $6double griddle burger day on Monday. Fishcamp on Broad Creek had $2 off their bar menu during happy hour so we ordered from there – again, so good – and the kids enjoyed Connect4 and corn hole.

Fishcamp on Broadcreek: 11 Simmons Road, HHI; 843.842.2267
Marley’s Shrimp & Burger Shack: 35 Office Park Road, Suite #2, HHI; 843.686.5800
Giuseppi’s Pizza & Pasta: 50 Shelter Cove Lane, HHI; 843.785.4144

Coastal Discovery Museum

I visited the Coastal Discovery Museum on the end of our trip but I’d recommend visiting instead at the beginning because you can learn all about the local ecosystem and what you will be seeing on the island. They have a kids room with an adorable replica of a loggerhead turtle nest plus books, educational toys and fish tanks.

There is an enclosed butterfly garden similar to the one at Roper Mountain Science Center except it’s freestanding and you can see the cocoons of various species of butterflies. There is a beautiful walking path that goes into the adjoining marsh, lined with oak trees and Spanish moss.

Admission is free, but they have several tours and events, like Sea Turtles for Kids, with associated fees.

Coastal Discovery Museum
70 Honey Horn Drive, Hilton Head Island
843.689.6767

Harbor Town in Sea Pines

Located in Sea Pines, Harbor Town is a quaint little spot on the southernmost tip of the island where you can shop, get ice cream, and take all kinds of water tours or test your bravery parasailing. Fishing charter boats take guests out on the water to try their luck and guests can admire all the gorgeous yachts docked in the harbor and daydream about sailing the world.

It’s also where the famous red and white striped lighthouse sits on the island (you can climb it for a fee). Be sure to check out the Sea Pines forest preserve while there. The preserve is home to over 600 acres of undisturbed land, so is a wildlife haven! Harbor Town is also home to the majestic Liberty Oak. This stunning oak tree is massive and forms a natural gazebo that is covered in moss.

You will also find tons of events at Sea Pines. There is a shaded playground and public restrooms plus parking, which gets crowded during the busy season. If you’re not staying at Sea Pines, you’ll need to pay a small fee for a daily pass ($9).

Harbor Town at Sea Pines
140 Lighthouse Road, Hilton Head Island, SC

Ride a Bike Around Hilton Head Island

HHI is very bike-friendly with trails everywhere (plus you can ride on the beach) with plenty of easy parking around the island for two wheels. Plus, its one of the fun and free things to do in Hilton Head with kids!

Most bike rental places will drop off bikes wherever you are staying and have kid bikes and trailers available, making this the perfect way to see the island without having to worry about parking your car. Pelican Cruisers is a good option but be sure to reserve your bikes ahead of time, especially during the busy summer months.

Free Family Entertainment

The Shannon Tanner Summer Family Show is a much-loved show for his entertaining personality and sing-a-longs. Shannon performs at Shelter Cove Harbor several days during the week over the summer at 6:30 and 8 pm. We got through half the performance and then got drenched by a surprise thunderstorm. But he was amazing and we had so much fun!

Another popular family entertainment show are the Gregg Russell Summer Concerts at Harbor Town in Sea Pines under Liberty Oak from 8-9:30 pm every Monday-Friday during the summer months. 

Workout on a Stand Up Paddleboard

I love SUP (stand up paddleboarding) and Fit Fusion offers the option to have fun working out while on vacation on top of a board. It’s a great way to have some time yourself if you can swing it while on HHI as well. Classes are $40/person and are held usually on Saturday and Sunday mornings.

Fit Fusion
75 Wharf Street, Bluffton, SC

Other Fun Things to Do Near Hilton Head Island

Kazoobie Kazoos

The only Kazoo factory that imprints kazoos (like for companies, events, and fundraisers) and one of only two in the entire country. They make around 5,000 kazoos per day! You can take a tour of the factory and then make your own kazoo. This is a unique opportunity to learn about the instrument that dates before the First World War. The tour is really neat – they show you all kinds of different kazoos and whistles (my kids loved this part) and a short video about the history of kazoos. Then you get to see the inside of the small factory and then, of course, make your own kazoo.

Kazoobie Kazoos
12 John Galt Road, Beaufort
$14.50/adult, $11.50/kids, ages 3 and under are free
Tours are Monday-Friday 9 am – 5 pm

Port Royal Sound Foundation Maritime Aquarium

A totally free aquarium sits on the Port Royal Sound and features all kinds of fish, baby alligators, turtles, and a vast amount of really neat history behind the surrounding waters. It’s not that big, which is great for the smaller kids, but is packed with interesting exhibits and a little area where kids can color.

Port Royal Sound Foundation Maritime Aquarium
310 Okatie Highway, Okatie, SC
Open Tuesday-Saturday 10 am – 5 pm (closes 4 pm on Saturday)
Free

Old Sheldon Church Ruins

This place was not on my original list of things to do but as I was browsing Instagram, I came across a local explorer who had posted a photo of these ruins and decided to go check it out. The old church was burned twice – once during the Revolutionary War and another during the Civil War. An old graveyard is on-site as well. The Spanish Moss trees make this place seem otherworldly. I loved it and my kids really enjoyed checking it out as well. It’s about 30 minutes from Beaufort and a unique experience. Park across the street from the ruins in a gravel lot.

Old Sheldon Church Remains
Old Sheldon Church Road, Yemassee
Free

HWY 21 Drive-In Movie

The reviews on this place were enough for me to want to try it out but it wasn’t meant to be for this trip. They have a double-header every Friday and Saturday night for just $8/adult, $4/kids 5-12, free/4 and under. You can’t bring your own food but they have concessions available for purchase, which are cheaper than actual movie theaters.

Hwy 21 Drive-In Movie
55 Parker Drive, Beaufort, SC

Chocolate Tree

Word is that Tom Hanks used to love to come to the Chocolate Tree when he was filming Forrest Gump in Beaufort. This chocolate is heavenly. The scent alone, when you walk into the shop, is delightful. We grabbed a few pieces and headed to the historic Beaufort Waterfront to enjoy the treats. Most chocolates are $22/pound but they also sell gift baskets and other things.

Chocolate Tree
507 Carteret Street, Beaufort, SC

Port Royal Sands

Port Royal is a small island with access to rivers and salt marsh estuaries and the enormous Port Royal Sound. The Sands and Boardwalk at Port Royal is the best place to get your feet wet though. There is a long boardwalk, a three-story tower to climb and watch the sunrise or sunset, and lots of places to cast your line if you like to fish (we saw a fisherman catch baby black tip sharks).

The beach is a small area where you can drive your car onto, which makes it easy when you have more than a few beach toys and chairs to lug around. And this beach is known for it’s shark teeth, which kids and adults love to find.

Things to do in Port Royal Sand
Sands Beach Road, Port Royal
Free

Pinckney Island National Wildlife Refuge

If you are looking for some nature time during your visit to Hilton Head Island, head to Pinckney Island National Wildlife Refuge. The refuge offers hiking, biking, and the chance to see some beautiful wildlife.

Pinckney Island National Wildlife Refuge
694 Beech Hill Lane, Hardeeville, SC

What are you favorite things to do on Hilton Head Island?

Your Kids Can Dress Up Like Pirates, Shoot Water Canons, and Find Treasure on This Pirate Cruise in Hilton Head, SC

One year for his birthday, I bought my dad, Eddie, underwear. It was a last-minute, harried purchase, embarrassingly unsentimental. I was racing to meet a friend for dinner with only minutes to spare and there was a Big & Tall men’s store across the street.

I grabbed the first thing my eyes settled on: a three-pack of light blue boxers stacked neatly on a table. When it came time to give him our gifts the next day, he blew out the candles on his cake and my mom handed him a large blue box emblazoned with a gold Ralph Lauren logo. In it, were two polo shirts and a silk tie. I hid my package behind my back: the only wrapping paper I could find at home had Christmas wreaths on it and it was now the end of March.  

“It’s just a little something… ”I said shamefully producing my Yuletide-themed present. 

Dad read the card slowly and carefully then tore into the package. He scrutinized its contents from all angles. “This is beautiful,” he said enthusiastically. “I love it. Exactly what I wanted and needed!” 

I raised an eyebrow. “Daddy, it’s just some underwear…”

“It’s perfect,” he interrupted me. “Judy,” he asked my mom. “Do you see this? Beautiful!”

My dad was so full of joy it exploded out of him

That—in a nutshell—was my dad. A six-foot-two, 275-pound teddy bear of a man, so full of gratitude and joy it simply exploded out of him. His enthusiasm encompassed anything anyone gave him: a free pen at the bank, a collectible plastic Yankees helmet that held his ice cream sundae at the stadium; a Syracuse University Dad mug I accidentally chipped on the bus ride home.

He loved his family, his friends, his coworkers, strangers he met on the street, and that appreciation for humanity colored each life he touched. At the rooftop pool club he belonged to in Riverdale, neighbors actually argued over who got to put their lounge chair next to his. I loved to tease him about it: “You’re the Mayor of Manor Towers. Mr. Popularity!”

He would lay with a transistor radio held to his ear, listening to the Yanks game or 1010 News, but bolted upright each time someone paused to inquire how he was. The conversation might turn into a sports discussion, an observation on the weather, even a card game (my dad was a poker shark). His favorite day at the pool was July 4 weekend when they had a cookout and free Good Humor Ice Cream. That was the day the entire family was asked to join him at a picnic table that had his name and a reserved sign waiting. 

My favorite memory of my dad is when he befriended Lauren Bacall

Yet my favorite Dad memory has no occasion. It was 1999, and I was freelancing for a theater magazine. I had just interviewed Richard Chamberlain who was starring in The Sound of Music on Broadway. I was invited to opening night, and Dad was my date for the evening. He adored Broadway shows, especially old ones where he knew all the songs by heart. We had great seats, fourth row center Orchestra, thanks to the show’s press agent. My father was used to sitting in the nosebleeds with our family of four, so this was a rare treat. 

“I can see right inside the orchestra pit,” he remarked as we settled in. “These are some seats!”

I decided to make a quick dash to the ladies’ room before the show began and left him thumbing through the Playbill. When I returned, he had moved up one row and a platinum blond woman had her arm draped around his shoulders.

 “Daddy?” 

“Sher! This is Betty. Do you know Betty?”

I focused on the face of the woman beaming at my dad. “Betty” was the legendary actress Lauren Bacall. Oh. My. God. What was she doing here? And what was she doing with my father? 

“I was just telling her how much I loved her movies…” Dad tried to explain. 

“So sweet, Ed,” Bacall said. “I’m so flattered.” 

Then I realized the connection: Bacall had just made a TV movie with Richard Chamberlain. She was there to cheer him on–and my father was cheering her on.

The theater lights flickered signaling the show was about to start. I took my seat right behind them and my dad turned around to wave. He was over the moon with his famous new lady friend, and she was clearly enjoying his adulation. 

“Wait’ll I tell your mom,” he whispered to me. “She won’t believe it!”

At intermission he got up to get Betty and me Cokes from the bar. 

“Such a gentleman,” she said. When he returned, they continued chatting. As my father spoke, she tossed her head back and laughed heartily. He seemed completely at ease hanging out with a Hollywood actress. Maybe, I pondered, that’s where I get it from? My ability to interview celebrities for magazines and ghostwrite their memoirs as if they’re ordinary people. 

My dad was always a people person. No matter whom he came across—from the guy who parked his car to the mayor of New York (he and David Dinkins once had a long conversation at a steakhouse coat check), he was kind, warm, interested in what made you tick.

These days, whenever I feel jaded, exhausted, uninspired I think to myself, “What would my dad do?” He would stop complaining. He would open the windows of the apartment wide (even if it was 90 degrees outside) and let the fresh air stream in. He would ask how my day was going and make me recount every detail until I realized it wasn’t as bad as I thought.

My father could find joy in everything and anything

He would find delight in little things, common things, things I take for granted. A Whopper and fries. A shiny brand-new minted quarter. A Frank Sinatra song playing in an elevator. A $5 bill you discover crumpled up in an old jacket pocket. Treasures all of them, meant to be savored and celebrated. 

My dad is gone nearly 18 years now, but he still smiles back at me from a framed photo on my desk. In it, he is holding my then six-month-old daughter on his lap, a burp cloth draped over one shoulder. The joy and pride on his face is unmistakable and uncontainable, and I can’t help but smile with him.

More Great Reading:

My Father’s Secret for Getting Us Out of Bed was Really a Life Lesson