Janet welcomes a timely visit from iconic educator Mr. Chazz who shares how parents and teachers can help kids successfully transition to a new preschool or childcare situation. His focus is on trust and maintaining the sense of connection that supports parents and kids to separate with confidence.
Transcript of “Making a Successful Transition to Preschool (with Mr. Chazz)”
Mr. Chazz has been dubbed “America’s favorite teacher” for good reason. He has a magical way of gaining the trust of kids and adults, inspiring all of us with his charm and his humor. He’s humble, which is refreshing and disarming. And what I appreciate even more about Mr. Chazz is his passion and commitment to the work of understanding how to care for children and to motivate them to be at their best. Mr. Chazz has built an enormous, engaged following on TikTok, Instagram, and through his podcast, “Learning Curve with Mr. Chazz,” and it’s an understatement to say that this is well-deserved. I can’t recommend him highly enough and I’m proud to call him a friend.
Today, I’ve asked Mr. Chazz to share about his latest venture, the creation of a learning and childcare center called Birdhouse, that is surely going to be a model for many more of its kind. I’m also hoping Mr. Chazz will help us understand how to make the transition to preschool or a care center a positive experience for us and our child.
So, here he is! Hi, Mr. Chazz.
Mr. Chazz: Hello, Janet Lansbury.
Janet Lansbury: You know I love talking with you. I think we talked several months ago, but I don’t know, it seems like it’s been too long, so I’m excited to be able to catch up with you here. Especially at this time, because this is when children are starting back up to school, or starting for the first time, some of them. And you have this huge project that you’ve accomplished where you’ve opened your own school, and I want to hear all about that. Specifically, I thought you might talk about what you are doing, what your school’s program is for helping the children to adjust, and how parents can aid in that process at home or in the actual drop-off situation.
Mr. Chazz: Yes, there’s almost two parts of what I can share. One part is the ideal world that I am trying to create with my school in Brooklyn, and then there’s also the reality of most childcare facilities that exist and how to navigate those sometimes not-so-ideal situations.
Janet Lansbury: Have you ever worked in some of those—because I know you’ve worked in a lot of other situations that got you to this point of being able to open your own—were you also in situations where you didn’t feel like it was an ideal transition process?
Mr. Chazz: Yes, I think 99% of childcare centers, the way they do the transition is not ideal. We often do things for the convenience of the adult rather than what’s best for the child or the teachers or even the family unit. I would even back that up and say it is often the convenience of meeting these awesome responsibilities that we often have as grown-ups. So I’m excited to dive into how to navigate the center-based, I’m excited to dive into how I believe we can start to shift and change in early childhood.
Janet Lansbury: That’s great because I feel like a lot of those people listen here as well, and I know that that is where a lot of changes need to be made on that level with early childhood programs. Maybe we should start with hearing about what you’re trying to achieve with your school, and we can talk about how that’s helping to ameliorate some of the issues that you saw going on or have experienced going on in other programs.
Mr. Chazz: First, because I am a teacher myself, I’m going to start with the teachers and then I’m going to answer the question that you were really asking in the beginning about transitions. How we’re doing it differently, and also how to navigate your more traditional early childhood program that you’re going to.
So first at Birdhouse, which is the in-home childcare facility in Brooklyn, the head teacher gets to live upstairs in the school. That way they don’t have to pay rent, so teachers don’t feel like they’re in their own survival state. They can really lend their prefrontal lobes and really care for the children because they feel cared for and they’re not in a survival state. Any parent can very much relate that it is much harder to care for children when you are not cared for yourself.
Janet Lansbury: I think another reason that is helpful, not just helpful personally to those teachers, but to the program itself and to the success of the program, is that you’re encouraging a feeling of commitment to being a teacher there. We know that in that field there’s a high turnover with people working in care centers for younger children, because maybe they’re not feeling cared for and they’re not getting paid as much as they should get paid, probably. And therefore they don’t have that consistency for the children, for the families. So that’s a really good way of ensuring that people are dedicated and will stay.
Mr. Chazz: Yes, I mean, what a novel idea. So that is one of the things that I’ve always believed, that just by taking care of teachers, you’re taking care of children and you’re taking care of parents. Because the children need the consistency and the parents also want it too. I could talk about Birdhouse all day, but I’m more than happy to jump back on topic.
This conversation started off with us talking about how to transition into school and how we do transitions here and also how you can do transitions in more traditional settings where they don’t necessarily allow you to come into the space as much.
Janet Lansbury: I would love to hear your thoughts about that. You have such a depth of experience.
Mr. Chazz: What I will say is this idea of drop-off and pick-up, seeing in traditional centers how often we kind of drop children off like Amazon packages and we’re just like, Okay, you’re here! and parents are trying to just dart out the door. It’s often a very emotional situation. And not that it’s not going to be emotional, but just I wanted to honor that moment of (1) separation from the parent, but also (2) the connection that they’re arriving to in their school family at Birdhouse. Instead of it being this quick drop-off and pick-up, we wanted to focus more on the connection aspect of all of this. So we have shifted the language to “arrival” and “reunion.”
Now, it’s not just a language change, it also comes with a change in how we are approaching this. The arrival time is a time where they come in, they help their children wash their hands, they connect, it’s all focused on integrating them into the classroom and connecting a little bit more. And yes, this takes more time than a quick little drop-off, shoving them in the classroom and then darting out, but I find that this is a way for them to really feel safe and connected and more easily jump into the learning and the play and everything else that we have to offer.
Janet Lansbury: So do you suggest they do some kind of activity that’s preparatory, like washing hands or something that’s connected like that? What’s the plan that you actually give parents for what to do?
Mr. Chazz: Thank you for asking. They come in, I have a little visual of what the plan is so that the children know and also the parents know. Coming in there can be a lot of distractions, so that visual can be helpful because there are a lot of steps. First we have a moment of connection, and the little visual of that is a picture of me because they always come in and see me. Usually it’s a high-five or a hug or a fist bump, and as it’s progressed, it’s become more and more individualized to each child. Each child has their own way they like to connect when they come in. And if they don’t want to connect, they can pass and they don’t have to connect, it’s not something that I’m going to force them to do.
The next picture has a picture of their hook and their cubby, and so the child puts their stuff away on the hook or their cubby or sometimes the parent helps them.
The next visual is they take off their shoes, because we’re in New York and the thought of us playing in the same shoes that we’re stomping around all of New York in just doesn’t feel sanitary enough for me. So they take off their shoes, they walk in across the play space, and then I have little shoe prints where they put their shoes right on the shoe print. Again, visuals are so helpful for helping children and parents know what to do. And then the parents help them wash their hands.
Before the parent leaves, there is a moment of connection that we encourage all the parents to have. Now that can be different for each child. It could be a hug, hug-kiss, it can be a little game that they play, but there’s a moment of connection before the parent leaves. The parent can leave whenever they like, they’re not forced to stay, but they’re also invited to stay during our circle time. So sometimes parents can stay and they stay for circle time.
Now, there is a time where all the parents are expected to leave. And our routine, what we do is we have a goodbye song for the parents. So that is our arrival that is a little bit different than the traditional. Most programs won’t allow you to really stay, they do want a drop-off. They want you to come in, maybe help wash your child’s hands, and then they’re kind of kicking you out of the classroom.
Another thing that we do is we allow parents to come a week or two ahead of time and come in and arrive and do some circle time with us so the child can get connected with the space and also get more connected with us. So if the child does have a hard time when the parent leaves, they have a safe person to go to. It’s really hard to help that child work through the big emotions of separating from their parent if they’re not already connected with you, if they’re not already safe with you. We know that, so we build those connections beforehand.
Janet Lansbury: So you have a program all summer, you’re there the whole year?
Mr. Chazz: All year, we’re year-round.
Janet Lansbury: Okay. So they can come in with their child and enjoy the program and meet the people. And they can stay the whole day, the parents?
Mr. Chazz: We usually just have them come in for just the arrival time, 9 to 9:30, where they’re arriving. They can see other people coming in, they can see how the other children say goodbye to their parents, so they can kind of make the connection that this is part of the routine. And they can also start to get excited about the things in our space, but mostly feel connected and safe with—we call them safekeepers, not teachers—with the safekeepers in our space. And it makes such a difference.
Even with all this lead-up, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that when parents leave that the child doesn’t sometimes cry. The difference is that the child cries and they often come to us for comfort and safety and we’re able to help them work through that because they already feel safe and connected with us. We already might have some strategies that we use to get them into play, we kind of know how they like to play. So it’s a lot easier for them to co-regulate and get to a place where they are regulated enough to play and have fun and build connections with their school family.
Janet Lansbury: So you’ve also met them, the teachers have met the child, and the parent presumably, but the child one-on-one as they’re coming into the classroom to watch and observe and get to check it out. Then how are they connecting with the teacher, or the safekeeper?
Mr. Chazz: When a child is first coming into the space, especially with their parent, they are very cautious, they’re looking. We avoid trying to pressure the child because if we go too fast too quickly, it can create a feeling of uncertainty and like, Oh, this person is trying to get me to do something and I’m not quite ready yet. They really need to know that we will meet them where they’re at, at their pace. I look for little moments of things that they’re interested in that they want to play, and then I notice those things too. I might go and grab something that they’re noticing so they can feel seen and understood and hand them a toy. If they do start to talk and say something, I make sure that I notice that. It’s these little moments we look for, just these windows of playing and as soon as I see them peek through the window, I’m there to kind of open the window so that they can go and explore their curiosity. Those moments of them feeling seen also helps create that safety and that connection.
Janet Lansbury: That’s powerful. So you’re helping the other teachers know these things? I mean, you’re obviously quite gifted, so I doubt everyone that wants to work with children has your instincts, but you’re able to express that to the other teachers?
Mr. Chazz: Another great thing that we have here is that we have cameras. We don’t use cameras to, I caught you doing something you’re not supposed to do! I’ve been in environments where cameras were used that way. Instead, we use cameras as reflection, as really powerful learning opportunities. Often I will go back if there was a moment I think would be helpful for my other safekeepers to see, I’m able to go back to that time and send it to our little group chat that we have and we have these conversations about it. And I did hire people who are already looking from the child’s perspective, already wanting to learn.
Not to say that my safekeepers are perfect and I’m definitely not perfect either, and I make mistakes. And those are also things that we record and I share so that they can also feel safe making those mistakes. Maybe they thought the child was open to play and they tried something, they went a little too fast. That’s okay, that’s something that we can all reflect on. And then there’s always another opportunity to try.
Janet Lansbury: Because I think what a lot of people don’t understand, parents or teachers or grandparents or anyone, when they want to connect with a child we have this idea that it’s about, Let me do something to entertain you or show you something, instead of just allowing that child to show you. Just being quieter and more receptive and letting them show you by where they’re looking, what they’re interested in, and then just reflecting on that. It’s that being receptive instead of putting action out there to try to connect that I think we can so misunderstand. Mostly because we underestimate little kids and babies, what they have going on inside. So instead of noticing that and wanting to help them feel seen and connect with them that way on their terms, which always works, we’re putting effort out there to try to have them connect in a way that we think works. And we waste a lot of energy that way.
Mr. Chazz: We do. And then we get frustrated when we’re not connecting with them, when we’re missing that connection. And yes, thank you for pointing that out, that sometimes just being still and just noticing what they’re noticing and responding to that is the most powerful way to connect, especially with young kids. And even think about how you feel for yourself when someone is noticing what you’re thinking about too. It creates such a bridge to feeling seen that just makes you feel like, Ahhh, this person gets me.
Janet Lansbury: Yes. And I like them. It’s like somebody said, what is charisma? It’s actually when somebody is interested in you. Those are the people we think have charisma, the people that are open to and interested in other people.
I remember going on dates when I was younger, a lot younger, and you’d go out with someone that was just talking about themself and trying to impress you and you’d just be like, Did I even exist? afterwards. I wasn’t even there, really, you feel like afterwards. And then there’s other people that are sincerely interested in you and those are the people you want to see again, obviously.
Mr. Chazz: Right, so true.
Janet Lansbury: You explained how it looks like when it doesn’t quite work, that a child still has feelings when the parent leaves. I was also thinking, what if a parent needs to be somewhere on time and they can’t stay and the child kind of wants them to stay and then they see other parents staying? That can be kind of hard sometimes. What do you do then? I guess you probably just acknowledge what you see them noticing?
Mr. Chazz: Yes, this is a continuous conversation that I have with my safekeepers and also with the parents, because it’s hard on all sides, right? It’s hard for the parent sometimes to leave if you see your child crying and feel the weight of that and you’re just like, I don’t want to leave a crying child. And sometimes a parent might feel like, Okay, I’m just going to stay here until they stop crying, but the child just wants to keep them there. And even for the teacher, it can be that some parents are staying, right? There’s all these parents here and then we have this crying child who’s upset. Does this make us look bad that this child is crying and we’re not able to immediately get them to stop crying? This is something that happens, but it’s always a powerful learning opportunity conversation to have.
Janet Lansbury: Yes.
Mr. Chazz: There are going to be times where some parents can stay and some parents can go and they’re seeing the other parent and that’s going to bring up some big feelings and some big disappointment. And that’s okay. This doesn’t happen often, but things happen at home and there’s a lot of variables here, but there’s been a child crying up until all the other parents left. The child was by the door and we kind of continued life as life was. The child was really upset and clearly wanted his mom to stay. And we know this child, the child didn’t want to be physically touched or hugged or anything like that, but the child also didn’t want to feel completely alone. So we had a teacher kind of over there, checking in on the child and letting them know that, Hey, I’m here. But also not using a lot of words, really a lot of body language, maybe some words in the beginning. Letting the child know, If you need a hug, I’m here. But mostly just kind of being around the child, being available for the child, and the other teacher running the other parts of the classroom.
We did a whole circle time and the child cried throughout the entire circle time. During circle time, one of the children noticed, they said, “So-and-so’s crying.” And that was a powerful moment and we acknowledged it. We didn’t say, “Yeah, just ignore him. Just ignore him.” We said, “Yes, so-and-so is having a hard time. He’s feeling sad because he’s really wanting his mom and he’s really missing his mom. Let’s all take a deep breath for so-and-so.” So we all took a deep breath for this child who was having a hard time.
In this moment where this child was having a hard time and really missing mom and really experiencing disappointment, the other children were learning how to regulate themselves. Because emotions are contagious. Ooh, I’ve got a feeling like there’s some big emotions going on over there. What can we do to help? We can breathe and we can send loving energy to the child. Not only does this help the other child, but it also helps us regulate in that moment. So this child having a hard time was actually a very powerful learning experience for the children.
Now, there were other parents that were around too and I think they were hearing it. No parent actually said anything, but they got to see how we could regulate through the big emotions too. And so even in that, we are also teaching the parents on big emotions happening, that we don’t have to have this big reaction and how we can regulate through and how we can support a child.
Once all the parents left and we said bye-bye, parents, the child then went over to, I don’t know, I think he went over to me and gave me a hug and regulated that way. He was able to kind of jump into the play and then the rest of the day was normal. Now most days the children are able to say bye to their parents and they’re fine. They go, there’s maybe a moment of crying for five or 10 seconds and then they’re good. But this was a day that was a particularly more difficult day.
I share that story, and not just the story of when everything is going great, because I also want to communicate to any early childhood professional or any parent out there that even in those hard moments, as long as we have a helpful mindset, as long as we have our skills and our regulation and we’re seeing it in a helpful way, that these aren’t bad moments. These are powerful learning opportunities for the child and for really anyone who’s around. It could even be powerful learning opportunities for us.
Janet Lansbury: Oh my gosh, yes, a hundred percent. I’ve been able to do that kind of demonstration in parent-toddler classes and parent-infant classes, and it’s exactly what you said. I’m kind of thinking like, Oh gosh, do they think I’m not doing enough to try to get this child to stop or to distract them? But they see at the end that the way a child finishes when they’re finally done with that, it’s so peaceful and you can almost see that they’re lighter, that they’ve offloaded something that’s been weighing them down and could even be a buildup from days of something, stimulation or energy or feelings. And just how beautiful that is.
It’s really hard to explain because as human beings, we just want to do something to fix the child and make it better. It’s just so in us to do that. So for people to actually get a demonstration like that is very powerful. It gives them permission to not do anything, to really just receive it and allow it to be and allow it to be shared.
Mr. Chazz: Yes, thanks for bringing up that part. Ooh, am I being judged for the way that I’m handling this child that’s crying? Because we’re not sitting right there next to him or giving him a hug, will they think that we’re neglecting this child and will they think that we don’t give their child enough when their child is having a hard time too? And all these thoughts for me, they come and they go. I let them go because at this point I’m confident in what I’m doing, so it’s easier for me to let those thoughts go. But I do think that’s an important acknowledgement. And I think even as a parent, when you’re in public, when you’re parenting in public, that that’s also an important thing to acknowledge. You can notice those thoughts and let them go and just know you’re doing what’s best for your child.
And just like you can let those thoughts come and go, you can let those feelings that the child is feeling come and go. They’re here right now, but they’re also going to go as well.
One last thing I’m going to say about the long crying, just another perspective shift that may or may not be helpful: that is an exhausting thing to do. Children do not want to throw themselves on the ground and cry for long periods of time. You try to do what you see your child doing when they’re having a hard time for as long as they’re doing it, and you’ll see how exhausting it is. Maybe the light at the end of the tunnel for you is that because they’re using so much energy, one, obviously they’re not trying to give you a hard time, but two, maybe there’s a nap at the end of the tunnel.
Janet Lansbury: That’s a really good point. And I feel like sometimes with children too, it’s not just the end of the tunnel. It was almost the beginning of the tunnel, that they were just too tired from whatever’s going on at home or they just came back from vacation. And maybe they could face this situation when they weren’t feeling as they do, but that day—it’s just like me when I don’t get enough sleep—they can’t handle it and so they go there. So that can even be part of the cause.
And I think for parents also, it’s important to know that we didn’t make that happen by needing to leave our child or needing to separate or whatever we did. We didn’t make that happen, it’s not our fault that they’re doing that. It’s something that’s probably built up in them that they really need to clear out. And we can help them to do what their body wants them to do, what they instinctively know how to do.
Mr. Chazz: I want to dig deep on that, because we always want to find fault. We put ourselves at fault, the child at fault, or someone at fault. And instead of playing the blame game, just recognize that it just is. You had to go to work. They felt sad or disappointed. They were hoping that you stayed longer. Now they are upset and they’re crying. It just is. We don’t have to judge it even as good or bad. It’s just that things can happen.
Now, if we’re really intentional, this can be a helpful learning opportunity, and if we’re not really intentional and if we’re really reactive or we’re just reacting from our body, then we can turn what is into a bad moment. But it all is dependent on the caregiver and where we’re at with it. Not to say that you, the caregiver, are at fault, but just to recognize that you might have less resources in your body, you may not be able to keep it together because you got less sleep last night or you’ve been traveling and you’re jet-lagged, right? You’re going through your own stuff.
Avoid placing blame on yourself or anyone else. Recognize that it just is. And that we have the power to decide if this is going to be something that’s helpful and positive and a learning experience or something that is hurtful and negative and might be something that we have to heal from.
Janet Lansbury: I really love that expression, I don’t know who made it up, but: This moment feels like this. This is just how this moment is. Allowing things to be what they are in that moment and not trying to fight it or take blame for it. Just allowing yourself to be in it and learn from it, moment by moment. I don’t know, maybe that sounds too esoteric.
On that note about us, the caregivers and the parents, I wanted to just go back for a second to this idea, is it called a visual calendar? What you were saying for parents that don’t have a school like Birdhouse, which is going to be most of us, we don’t have this kind of environment that you’re curating here and that you’ve created. The reason I bring that up is because I feel like it’s helpful to the child to see the step-by-step in a transition, and it’s equally helpful to us because we can feel more settled that we’ve done our part of the bargain. Will our child always accept it? Oh, you did your part. Sure, great! No, they won’t. But it helps us to not be skulking off, feeling terrible about our child having a feeling about something that’s not a happy one. Instead we feel like, Okay, we did the plan, so we’ve done our part and the rest needed to happen.
Mr. Chazz: Just a little visual routine. I mean, a little visual routine card that’s left-to-right saying what you do when you come in. And the kids look for that too. Introducing it, I point to each thing like, Oh, you’re here. The first thing we do is we greet each other and say hello. So I talk them through it at first. And then after about a week or so they’re coming in and we automatically greet each other and then kind of pointing, Oh look, what’s next? And they’re going to it. Next week, they come in and they’re looking at it and like, Oh, I did this. Now I do this. Now I do this. And then it’s less even the parent prompting them to do the next thing.
Janet Lansbury: Yes, they’re on top of it and they love that feeling. Even if it’s something like washing their hands, I get to go wash my hands now! It feels good.
Mr. Chazz: And when they get distracted, because we have greeters, they all kind of greet the children when they come in, we do a little wave, whatever they feel comfortable with. So there is often a distraction. But it’s easy for us to go back to the visual and be like, Oh, look what’s next. And then they can say, Oh, take off my shoes, and now they’re more a part of the process and there’s less friction there.
So that’s one big thing that I’ve put out there as a teacher, but you could also make it for your own child and do that if that helps your child. If you find that your child often does get distracted or has a hard time following what the routine is, and they want to do all the things that are not in their routine first. That’s one thing.
Another thing that a parent is doing is they came into the space and they’re taking pictures of Birdhouse and they’re making a little book of it. They are talking about the schedule of the day and the different things that are in Birdhouse, to get the child excited about playing at Birdhouse and all the things that they’re going to want to do. It’s really helpful to just help children visualize what they’re going to do. And sometimes words are not enough. Often words are not enough, so pictures are very, very helpful for that.
The other thing is if you can have them come in and spend some time in the classroom. Some programs will allow that, some programs might not allow that, but it’s definitely worth an ask. That’s something that could be helpful.
Now also I would roleplay. Before you get to the school, roleplaying what that whole routine is going to look like. And this is a time where you can break out your little routine card if you’re making it. You can go through the routine and just play arriving to school and what that’s all going to look like. You’re going to have little stuffed animals as the other kids, pretend to wash your hands and everything. And then also pretend to leave, but have a playful way that you do each of those little transition moments and definitely have a playful connecting way that you say goodbye and practice that.
It’s kind of like the practice before the game. It’s going to be harder to execute the play if it’s my first time ever seeing the play or hearing the play. Rather than if I’ve been rehearsing the play over and over and over again, even in an emotional moment, it’ll be easier for me to know what to do next. Not to say it’s going to happen perfectly, but those are some strategies that will reduce the friction of the arrival.
Janet Lansbury: I love that. I’ve always told parents, no matter what grade their child is in, to try to give them the lay of the land and talk about the schedule. But I think playing it out is a really great idea. And I would only add that sometimes it gets the kids excited when they know what’s going to happen and can visualize it, but other times it might not get them as excited, but maybe they can even express some of that to you ahead of time. Like, I don’t like that I have to take a nap!, or whatever. Do you guys have a nap at your school?
Mr. Chazz: We do have a nap.
Janet Lansbury: I am just imagining something that the child is like, no, and then just like, “Oh, you don’t want that part. Maybe there’s a plan we can make for how you can handle that.” So I’m just saying, it doesn’t have to be that we tell them the plan and now they’re all excited. We definitely don’t want to try to get them excited, because they always see through that, don’t they? It’s like, Why is she selling this so hard to me? It’s got to really suck. So really being prepared that it’s okay. It’s great to give them the lay of the land and what’s going to happen and it fuels them, it gives them confidence going in. But they’re not always going to be excited about every part of it, and that’s okay. It is better to be honest and to be open to, Well, maybe I’m going to ask a teacher about that. Maybe there’s something else you can do during that, or whatever.
Mr. Chazz: Yes, that’s such a great nuance part of the point. Because often things come up in play more than in an actual situation. A lot of times the actual situation can be sometimes so overwhelming that even if they have a lot of words to communicate, it’s harder for them to come up with the words and to communicate and they can get more in themselves. But when we’re kind of playing the situation out, they often feel safer to express those things. And then you can problem-solve ahead of time or maybe talk to the teacher about, Hey, they’re having a little bit of a hard time. Then the teacher also knows that this might be something that is a challenge for this child, and maybe the teacher has an idea of how to support them in this difficult moment. So you can collaborate there too.
What I also say to all the parents out there listening, especially in a center where there’s so many kids, the first month, your teachers are still just really getting to know your child. Every child comes with their own set of codes, their own personality, their own ways they like to do things, their own routines that they have at home that are different from school. And the teacher, especially if they’re getting all the children at once, the first month they’re just trying to figure all that stuff out. I always ask my parents to send a picture of the family. I always have their cubby set up and I have a picture of their family, so first-day sadness and feels, we can bring that picture down. But also I like to know, what does your child like to play with? Is there anything that would be helpful?
Nap time is another big thing too. Some children, right at a certain time, they’re out, but some children take a little bit longer time to nap, and some children, patting their backs helps them go to sleep. Every single child during nap time, they have a different way that they like to go to sleep. And those are all just little things that we as teachers are figuring out.
So for me, there’s never too much detail. If a parent sends me just a long list of things about their kids, I appreciate it. I might forget some of it, but if something is going on with their child around nap time, like, Oh wait, I remember they said something about nap time. Let me go back to my notes. Oh, she has a stuffed animal and the reason why she’s freaking out right now is because she doesn’t have her bunny and she goes to sleep with bunny every single day of her life and we forgot to put bunny out. Oops, we’re still learning.
Janet Lansbury: That’s helpful for the parents to expect and to understand that the teachers have this challenge of learning all of the kids, learning about who they are, and that it does take time. It wouldn’t take as much time with one child, but with a group of them, it definitely does.
Mr. Chazz: Correct. And the larger the group size, the more time it’s going to take to be attuned. Like we were talking about earlier, just noticing what the child is looking at and noticing it with them, and maybe even just looking at something or pointing at something or grabbing something. It’s hard to notice what three children are looking at at the same time and having that moment with three children at the same time, right?
Janet Lansbury: And then when they’re in a really big group where there’s more than 12 in the room or in an adjoining room and it’s so noisy and so stimulating, then they probably spend a month just flying around with all the children and not really being centered in themselves for a long time, I would think. It’s harder for them to find their center when they’re just so excited about everything that’s going on, picking up all the energy of all these different people, and that could be challenging.
Mr. Chazz: For sure. But I also want to say that I made the choice to go back into the classroom. It’s not something that I had to do, to be honest. I’ve been doing a lot of speaking.
Janet Lansbury: I remember, I know, I’m totally aware of this. I remember when you first got the opportunity to do this and how excited you were.
Mr. Chazz: And my choice to go into the classroom as opposed to traveling and speaking, there’s a lot more emotional labor involved in being in the classroom. It is a lot of work. I’ve done the coaching in the classroom, I’ve done the speaking across the country, and there’s absolutely nothing more rewarding than being with my kids day in and day out and supporting them and practicing my skills and supporting the parents and teaching the parents. It’s the difference between going a mile wide versus a mile deep.
And I just wanted to shout this out into the void. Maybe someone might hear me and just know that this teaching job that we’re doing, as difficult as it is and how much you give and how much emotional labor is involved in it, I personally wouldn’t trade it for anything. And there’s nothing more rewarding than this. I love teaching the teachers, but there’s nothing more rewarding than being in the classroom and teaching the children.
Janet Lansbury: I feel that, I feel that so much. Since I’ve been writing my book now and doing the various things I’ve been doing, I haven’t been teaching, and I really, really miss that. Because like you said, it’s so deep, the ups and downs and all the feelings and carrying everyone’s emotions, trying not to really carry them as much, but feeling them, the parents, the children. And you learn so much. You just keep learning, there’s no end to the learning that you do. The children teach you so many things, the important things in life, I feel like. So yes, I feel the same. I don’t do what you do, but I totally, totally get what you’re saying.
Mr. Chazz: I just wanted to say this to the teachers out there, from someone who’s in it with you and who is going in the classroom day in and day out. I know that it’s hard. There’s some days that I absolutely do not want to wake up from my bed. I’m lucky that I have a little bit less of a commute because I work downstairs. But take some moments to just appreciate the little moments. That’s been something that’s been really helpful for my own self-care. Me wanting to go back in the classroom every day is really taking those moments to just appreciate the little moments of like, Oh, there was a child the other day who was really upset and he was really having a hard time, and he was hitting me and trying to bite me and was having these really big emotions. And I couldn’t really figure out how to get to him. I knew what he needed, but I didn’t know how to actually help him feel understood. I knew that this child needed to feel understood, but I couldn’t figure out how to get there with him. But when I put the words to what he was feeling, it shifted his whole body language and he was in a place where he was much more able to collaborate and cooperate with what we were doing. And then when he shifted, then he was able to choose some of the skills or some of the strategies that we talked about. He picked his feeling buddies of what he was feeling and we worked through the feeling and he welcomed his sadness, he welcomed his disappointment, and then was able to make a choice of what was able to help him.
That moment is something that I am still appreciating and is what honestly springboarded me up from my bed this morning to get me back into the classroom. Try to appreciate those moments where things do go really well, where all the hard work that you’ve put in, where you see it come out of them, focus on that too. I think these moments happen all across our early childhood centers, I don’t think that we notice them enough.
Janet Lansbury: And parents too, to feel that, to know, Hey, I didn’t lose it when my child was losing it. That is awesome. To be able to celebrate that instead of feeling like, Phew, I got through that and I’m terrible.
Mr. Chazz: And that gives us energy to continue doing this very difficult job that we have as a parent or as an early childhood professional. And what it also does is it makes it more likely that there’s going to be more of those moments because we have more of a belief within ourselves that those difficult moments, those really powerful learning moments, can still happen from that moment. And when we’re able to keep that belief, we’re able to create more.
Janet Lansbury: Well said.
Mr. Chazz: And I think that also goes into, tying it with the school transitions, that even our belief that our child can do this and our child can handle the moment of separation when you do have to leave or go to work and they are really upset, that belief that they can handle that sad as long as there’s a teacher on the other end who is thinking about how to help a child feel safe, connected, and understood. When you leave, they’ll have a safe place to land. And even though it might be difficult, it’s something that they can handle.
Janet Lansbury: And not only can handle, but it’s healing. If we think about it, kids are in love with us. How would we expect them to just, Bye, see you! I don’t care. Of course they’re going to have feelings about that. They’re saying goodbye to their loved one. It’s a nice thing that they love us that much. It’s not a weakness in them, it’s a strength.
Mr. Chazz: Yes. They’re loving deeply and they have a strong connection with their number one and their number two person in the world. It makes sense.
Janet Lansbury: Thank you so much, Mr. Chazz, for taking time out of your long days and sharing with us.
Mr. Chazz: It’s always a pleasure talking to you, and I never know where the conversation’s going to go, and I always just love riffing off of you. Got to do more in the future.
Janet Lansbury: For sure. Bye, Mr. Chazz.
Mr. Chazz: Bye.
Originally published by Janet Lansbury on October 05, 2025
