You don’t see the Gary Coopers, the Chuck Norris’, and the Clint Eastwoods’ of the world letting their guard down, talking about what’s been bothering them, do you? This conditioning is precisely why men correlate vulnerability with weakness, and ironically, that’s also why when a man is vulnerable with a woman, it ends up being a beautiful thing.
That’s not to say that all men are the splitting images of the stoic, mustachioed, “serious” men that we mentioned. Some tend to be more vulnerable than others, but the point remains that vulnerability is essential to be able to connect with someone on a deeper level.
Why would a guy be vulnerable with you? Is he hinting at a deeper connection, or does his vulnerability not mean much? Let’s take a look at what’s going through his mind when he finally lets his guard down.
What Does It Mean When A Man Is Vulnerable With A Woman?
Before we get to what it means when a man is vulnerable with a woman, let’s talk about what we mean when we say vulnerability. No, it’s not when someone opens up and expects something in return for “letting them in,” or when a person inconsiderately trauma dumps on someone and leaves the listener feeling distraught since they weren’t ready to handle the intensity of the conversation.
It’s also not when a person shares their pain and hopes their partner will fix them, or when they try to gain sympathy so that their bad behavior can be excused, or when they can coerce their partner into doing something by playing the victim card. Simply put, vulnerability is when a person, without any ulterior motives, opens up about their fears, weaknesses, emotions and flaws. It’s when a person lets their guard down, only to foster a stronger connection with whoever they’re talking to.
As Paulo Coelho puts it, “The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.” When a man is vulnerable with a woman, he’s letting her know that he is letting his guard down, and he’s not afraid to appear fragile in front of her, despite how fragility in men is often associated with weakness.
When a guy friend is vulnerable with you, it almost always results in a deeper connection. You get to know someone better – their fears and ambitions, their inhibitions and insecurities – and just because you’ve been listening, they feel closer to you. If you’re wondering what makes a man vulnerable to a woman, in most cases (assuming that it’s not a toxic coercion technique), It’s because they feel the need to unburden themselves to someone they can confide in, trusting that the listener won’t think any less of them for doing so.
Now that we have a clearer picture of what it means, let’s talk about what happens when a man is vulnerable with a woman, and why he chooses to be so.
9 Things That Happen When A Man Is Vulnerable With A Woman
Some people can find it difficult to admit to being vulnerable, even to themselves. Admitting that there are some unresolved issues in a dark corner of your mind means that you’re making them real, and that you’ll have to deal with them.
In an attempt to protect ourselves, we may often ignore the things we know we need to deal with. That’s why, for those who find it difficult to open up, finally doing so with another person who they might feel deeply in love with, can change a lot of things for them.
Let’s take a look at what happens when a man is vulnerable with a woman, what’s running through his mind and what changes the relationship might possibly go through.
1. He becomes his authentic self
When he lets his guard down and admits that he’s worried about the path his career is headed toward, he’s not thinking about portraying a favorable image of himself to you. He is being his authentic self, complete with a few anxious, imagined, worst-case scenarios he has been replaying over and over in his head.
We all have fears, and always trying to portray an image of fearlessness often indicates either a lack of connection, trust issues in the relationship, or ulterior motives. If you see the signs of vulnerability in a man or see that a guy friend is vulnerable with you, consider it an indication that he feels comfortable enough to be himself with you.
2. When a man is vulnerable with a woman, it enhances emotional intimacy
There is a sense of emotional closeness when a man lets his guard down with a woman
When a person is comfortable enough to let their guard down and tell you what’s been going through their mind, it’s bound to lead to the development of emotional intimacy in your bond. However, it’s important to note his intentions behind his venting. Is he doing so, hoping that you’ll have the answers to his problems, or is he doing so because he wants to establish a deeper connection with you?
Figuring that out is easy. If you reciprocate his vulnerability by being vulnerable yourself, the way he listens to you will tell you what his intentions were. If it seems like he couldn’t be bothered, he’s probably just talking to you to rant and doesn’t care much about how you’re doing.
On the other hand, if he’s listening as intently as you were, looking into your eyes and giving a few nods every now and then, that signifies a wholehearted attempt at fostering a unique connection.
3. Sexual vulnerability can lead to better physical intimacy
Due to past experiences or the “in control” image men think they’re supposed to have in bed, he may not open up during sex. He might not talk about the insecurities and fears he deals with, which essentially means he’s withholding his emotions. Unless you bare yourself – in all aspects of the word – you won’t achieve true sexual intimacy.
When a man is vulnerable with a woman in bed, he’s shrugging off all the performance anxiety, all his past fears and all his insecurities, as if to say, “I love you, and I’m not afraid to be myself with you, even during this intimate act.” The signs of vulnerability in a man in bed will in turn prompt his partner to be vulnerable, which can lead to an explosive yet safe space that you two create and share.
Why would a guy be vulnerable with you? It’s because he knows that you’re someone he can be himself with and he won’t be judged for it. If you reacted favorably to the last time he put his guard down, he knows he can count on you emotionally and he’ll do so again when he wants to. That’s also probably when he thinks you’re “the one” for him.
A confession during those long drives or just an admission of guilt during those late-night phone calls can be all it takes to know that he trusts you.
5. You’ll be more empathetic
Vulnerability begets trust, compassion, support and respect. Hence, when a man is vulnerable with a woman, and she’s vulnerable with him, it can result in both of you being more empathetic in your relationship.
When two people are more empathetic toward each other, there’s more compassion and kindness in the dynamic. By walking a mile in your partner’s shoes – which is a tall order if you’re both upset – you’ll inadvertently make sure you’re not making any harsh decisions or saying hurtful things.
6. Communication will improve
When you’re not afraid of letting your guard down and opening up to someone, the resulting conversations won’t feel forced or pressured. Think about it, when he’s talking about his anxieties and the things that he fears, he’s going to be his truest self, not worrying about the kind of persona he needs to maintain.
And when it’s reciprocated by the listener, it’s going to result in communication that will be honest, empathetic and devoid of judgment. Talking to someone, especially a romantic partner, becomes easier, and ironing out any differences or future conflicts will be smoother too.
7. When a man is vulnerable with a woman, he makes her feel heard
An equal conversation is one that doesn’t make it seem like he’s waiting for you to talk so he can continue talking. When a conversation entails vulnerability and reciprocity, you’re not going to feel that way. If you decide to open up to him, he’s going to make sure he listens to you intently, just as you listened to him.
As a result, you feel heard, validated and respected. What makes a man vulnerable to a woman? It’s the desire to establish a deeper bond and establish mutual respect with someone he trusts.
8. He starts to value you in his life
As we’ve already mentioned, it’s not easy for some people to let others see their vulnerabilities. Especially in the case of some men, who have grown up believing that the only way to get through la vida loca is to appear stoic and unphased by whatever life throws at you. Hence, when a man is vulnerable with a woman, it’s almost an admission of the fact that he values her presence in his life.
He knows that if something bad were to happen, this person can be trusted to lend an ear and have his back. He will do things for you to express his care for you. Even if he’s someone who finds it very easy to be vulnerable with a lot of people, he still values and trusts you enough to let himself be that way around you.
9. You (potentially) move one step closer toward a healthy bond
Establishing a “healthy” relationship depends on a myriad of factors. There needs to be mutual respect, trust, compassion and a lot of effective communication. When a man is vulnerable with a woman, you move one step closer toward achieving such a bond, by being able to effectively communicate with each other and trusting each other.
When a guy friend is vulnerable with you, you often feel closer to that person than most of your other friends, don’t you? Though romantic relationships and friendships are very different, it’s still a step in the right direction.
Now that you have a better insight to the question, “Why would a guy be vulnerable with you?”, you really know what’s going on during those late-night conversations. A vulnerable conversation can lead to more empathy, better emotional intimacy and a better sex life among other things. The next time he opens up about his fears with you, please know that it probably took some courage for him to be able to do so. Acknowledge this act of vulnerability by giving him your undivided attention. He deserves it.
Oh, February 14—love it or ignore it! It makes me think of the movie Love Actually and all the types of love in the world—romantic, unrequited, familial, love across languages and races, love despite status, love after death, brotherly love….and so much more.
No date today? No worries as a first or second date today can be majorly weird and stressful!
Tips for Today:
1. Unplug. Don’t look at dating sites or social media all day.
2. Do something your ex hated. Order that Indian food she complained about.
8. Repair a rift. Remember that dumb fight you had with your brother? You love him—tell him.
9. Bake something sweet and deliver it to your awesome neighbor. Don’t bake? It’s Girl Scout Cookie season!
10. Workout with a great new cardio playlist you made today. Oh, those endorphins.
It’s just a day—but a day filled with all sorts of love, not just romantic. And we all love someone, right?
Pick up your cell and call someone you haven’t spoken to in six months. I’m thinking of my favorite aunt who recently lost her husband—so while I think of her often, today I’m settling in for a good long chat with her.
Happy Valentine’s Day! To my clients, I treasure you. To those not yet, I look forward to the day I meet you.
Oh, the other thing I’m doing today? Taking Luna to a park we’ve never been!
Pisces, the dreamy, romantic, and beautiful water sign has a way with relationships. They’re remarkable lovers and give each relationship their all, but at the same time, they need someone who’s capable of dreaming with them to satisfy that spiritual itch for creativity but also holds the capability to ground them whenever needed. Hence, the need for a guide on Pisces’ compatibility with other zodiac signs.
Does the water sign blend with the steadfast and calming nature of earth signs? Perhaps, it’s a fellow escapist Piscean that the fish needs? Or is it someone in the middle, where two signs find equilibrium? Whether you’re one yourself or you’ve found a special someone who belongs to the sun sign of the fish, let’s take a look at this list of Pisces compatibility with all the other zodiac signs.
Characteristics Of A Pisces Lover
So, who are Pisces compatible with? Before we answer that, let’s take a look at what separates the fish from the other zodiac signs. There’s a reason why this particular water sign makes for an intense lover and a lot of it has to do with how they operate on the regular.
For starters, it’s well understood that this particular sign is a bit more sensitive than others, and tends to escape reality whenever possible. Perhaps that’s because of the constant overthinking they partake in, or maybe it’s just because their artistic nature tends to get the better of them. Their deeply emotional, empathetic, and compassionate qualities help them excel in relationships, at least when their partner is open to their advances. The fish will listen, love very intently, and doesn’t take heartbreak too well.
If you’ve found yourself a lover who has a penchant for the arts, appreciates a nice walk in nature over the clubbing scene, tends to look forward to a concert in the woods over a fancy restaurant, gets overwhelmed with pessimistic emotions but still pulls off a romantic gesture or two, you’re probably coupled up with a dreamy Pisces.
As a result of the qualities listed above, the Pisces compatibility in love tends to favor those with whom the mutable water sign can connect on a deeper level. They bond well with other zodiac signs they can share an almost spiritual emotional connection with, and don’t shy away from being vulnerable in a relationship.
So, if you’re the kind that fancies a relationship that runs on a routine, goes to the same restaurant for Valentine’s Day every year, only talks about the kids, and is “safe”, perhaps look for other signs to match with. With the above-mentioned qualities in mind, let’s take a look at Pisces’ compatibility with each zodiac sign ranked from worst to best, so you have some idea of what’s in store for the two of you, or even that Pisces friend that you have.
Pisces Compatibility With Every Zodiac Sign – Ranked From Best To Worst
Before we move ahead with the list and you scroll to your respective Aries and Pisces compatibility or Leo and Pisces compatibility so you can read about your sign and be done with it, let’s establish something: Your zodiac signs cannot dictate how your relationship is going to go.
Sure, they’ll give you an insight into how well you are going to connect with each other and what you might struggle with, but it’s always a good idea to not consider the following sacrosanct.
That’s because, while a person may have some characteristics that their zodiac signs usually do, they may be completely different from the typical definition of their sign in a lot of other ways. Just because you know a Pisces woman, doesn’t mean she’s bound to be artistic and extremely creative, even though she may possess some of the qualities the mystical fish is associated with. With that in mind, let’s dive in.
1. Cancer and Pisces compatibility: Like two peas fish in a pod pond
We’re not necessarily saying that this pairing has the best compatibility out of all the other signs, this pairing’s top spot is more of a comment on how well two water signs usually get along well. The two zodiac signs connect on a higher emotional level than most, owing to their shared visions, similar emotional language, similar fantasies, and an appreciation for the same sort of hobbies.
Ever had one of those nights where you just keep talking to each other and never run out of things to talk about? With these two, you can count on those nights to happen almost every other day, especially during the honeymoon phase. The vulnerable, empathetic, and emotional nature of both signs makes for an optimal pairing.
Emotional intimacy: Perhaps the strongest factor that makes these two an ideal couple is their incredible emotional intimacy
Sexual chemistry: Since both water signs approach vulnerabilities similarly and have the same fantasies, sexual chemistry is usually good
Trust: Once an effective method of communication is established, trust shouldn’t be an issue
Intellectual synchronicity: The “going with the flow” nature of both signs helps establish intellectual intimacy
Potential red flags to be wary of: Just because the Cancer and Pisces compatibility takes the top spot on our list doesn’t mean everything’s always going to be rainbows and butterflies. There may also be problems when it comes to acceptance and establishing a tone of the conversation that works for both partners since the Cancers are often blunt and Pisceans shell up
2. Scorpio and Pisces compatibility: When two dreamers meet
Continuing along the theme of Pisces’ best match existing in the water realm, Scorpio and Pisces compatibility is usually solid. The fiery passion and their constant need to be in control of a situation often give Scorpios the dominant voice in the relationship, one that the fish has no qualms about relinquishing.
Hence, the relationship naturally finds itself an anchor without there being a power struggle. To top it off, Scorpio Pisces get along especially well, since both share intuitiveness and empathy that only comes to water signs.
Emotional intimacy: Scorpio Pisces share an almost spiritual level of emotional intimacy
Sexual chemistry: Since it’s easy for them to understand each other, physical intimacy isn’t usually a problem
Trust: The same values, the same emotional and intuitiveness, and a similar level of empathy allow the trust to flourish
Intellectual synchronicity: The passion and leadership of a Scorpio can help influence the Piscean’s decision-making positively
Potential red flags to be wary of: Though they’re compatible signs on paper, the overbearing need for control of a Scorpio can sometimes get overwhelming for the mystical fish. Pisces men, especially, may have a difficult time relinquishing control and may wish to set boundaries to curb the clingy nature of the Scorpio.
3. Pisces and Pisces compatibility: Humming the same tune
Ever wonder what a relationship with someone like yourself is going to be like? Are you going to get sick of how similar you are or is it going to be one of those twin-flame connections? In the case of two Pisces finding their way to each other, the latter is usually true. Why would it not be?
Your birthdays are around the same date, you both can literally talk to each other without even using words (though we’d suggest words), and you create harmony with each other that only you’re capable of creating. The Pisces-Pisces compatibility tends to intuitively find its way out of troubling times, that’s how strong their bond is.
Two Pisceans together hum the same romantic tune
Emotional intimacy: The strongest connection two Pisces share is an emotional one
Sexual chemistry: Thanks to the optimal emotional intimacy, the physical chemistry between the two is usually feisty as well
Trust: Since both partners may suffer from the odd bout of overthinking, there may be some work to do when it comes to building trust
Intellectual synchronicity: If two Pisces can stay grounded, they can make the best of each other’s talents and ideas
Potential red flags to be wary of: You’ve got two visionary dreamers in the same boat, sure, the conversation and the emotional connection will be immaculate. But once the murky water comes around, you’ll find Pisces opting for the “flight” response. If one partner can stay grounded and practical, this match usually flourishes.
4. Virgo and Pisces compatibility: The equilibrium point
What do you get when you mix a practical & grounded earth sign with the mystical fish that won’t stop dreaming? A very careful concoction of controlled chaos that the Virgo can’t help but fix and the Piscean can’t help but embrace.
If the two find a balance between their incredibly sensitive nature and practicality, they end up being the same side of the same coin, inseparable and resilient. Together, they achieve equilibrium with their contrasting personalities that complement each other.
Emotional intimacy: One teaches the other to dream, and the other preaches practicality. Together, they find solace in raw and unfiltered emotional intimacy
Sexual chemistry: The physical intimacy between these two signs is perhaps the best you can find in any pair
Trust: Once clear boundaries, morals, and foundations are established, trust isn’t an issue
Intellectual synchronicity: With both being like two sides of the same coin, they complement each other both emotionally and intellectually
Potential red flags to be wary of: Though Virgo and Pisces complement each other well, they need to find a balance between their contrasting feelings. If one partner’s emotions take precedence over the other, a karmic relationship can ensue.
5. Capricorn and Pisces compatibility: When earth and water form a whole
The Capricorn and Pisces compatibility follows a similar trajectory to that of the Virgo-Pisces bond. They’re among the most compatible signs thanks to the logical and solution-oriented nature of the Capricorn that finds much-needed relief in the sensitive and gentle nature of the dreamy Pisces.
Capricorn compatibility relies on establishing trust and clear boundaries with a partner, something that the empathetic Piscean will always be open to. By now, it should be evident that the answer to the question, “Who are Pisces compatible with?”, yields an answer describing someone who has the potential to provide structure to their otherwise chaotic tendencies.
Emotional intimacy: The logical and emotional tendencies of the two fuse to form an intimate bond
Sexual chemistry: As long as both signs are patient and accepting, they will achieve physical harmony
Trust: The sea goat may be hesitant to let anyone in but the understanding nature of the fish can help get them both to a respectful and trusting place
Intellectual synchronicity: Differentiating worldviews may be an issue at first, but acceptance and empathy are the antidotes
Potential red flags to be wary of: A Capricorn-Pisces relationship may struggle with establishing open communication since the Sea Goat is hesitant to let anyone in and the fish tends to overthink. There may even be a power struggle, and both individuals need to be patient and forgiving.
6. Taurus and Pisces compatibility: Seek balance, and the rest is bliss
Taurus and Pisces compatibility is strong enough to pave the way for a harmonious relationship, largely because of how well they complement each other. They share an equal amount of love for culture and all things art, experience a fulfilling dynamic in the bedroom, and uncover commonalities that eventually lead to them two communicating with each other just through your eyes across a crowded room.
However, as is the case with earth and water sign pairings, there needs to be a balance between the assertive nature of the Bull and the passive-aggressive nature of the Pisces.
Emotional intimacy: Taurus compatibility centers around a person who can accept them. With communication and acceptance comes great emotional intimacy
Sexual chemistry: The Bull will be more than happy to indulge in the fantasies of the fish, which gets you an exciting mix
Trust: One’s got their boundaries and expectations straight, the other just needs to follow suit
Intellectual synchronicity: With a flair of sophistication in everything they both do, they’ll have more in common than they first thought
Potential red flags to be wary of: The grounded earth sign is especially blunt in what they expect and need, while the Piscean is a bit more laid back and hesitant. Hence, the Taurus-Pisces connection may struggle a bit when it comes to being vulnerable with each other. The overthinking nature of a Piscean may get the better of them and their emotions may lead to turmoil, which they need to curb as a couple.
7. Pisces and Sagittarius compatibility: Two colliding forces
As we make our way toward the bottom half of our Pisces compatibility list, we start to see some zodiac signs that might not be the best fit for a Pisces woman or a Pisces man.
The Pisces and Sagittarius compatibility isn’t destined for failure, but it needs careful and extensive work. That’s because the overly emotional Piscean doesn’t find it easy to strike a balance with the blunt Sagittarius, and the Sag might even end up hurting their partner without even realizing it.
Emotional intimacy: The emotional threshold of a Sagittarius-Pisces relationship isn’t usually extraordinary
Sexual chemistry: If the relationship is purely sexual, they’ll knock it out of the park
Trust: Without a continued effort to maintain loyalty and kindness, trust is difficult to attain
Intellectual synchronicity: Despite the differences in opinions, the two can sustain a well-articulated debate, which warrants friendship compatibility
Potential red flags to be wary of: A Sagittarius-Pisces relationship suffers many blows since the two personalities are incredibly different. To make things work, a lot of work is required on establishing loyalty, communication, and finding a love language that works for the two of you.
Things may not always be smooth in a Sagittarius and Pisces relationship
8. Libra and Pisces compatibility: Air and water playing with fire
Libra and Pisces compatibility is a rather complex one. Though you two fall short when it comes to utmost compatibility, there are some factors that can keep your on-again-off-again relationship going. One thing’s for sure though: without consistent effort and some superhuman patience from both partners, things are bound to fail.
In the meantime, you’ll experience sexual gratification like never before, experience fights that make you promise yourself that you’re going to end it all soon, but are immediately met with highs of romance and oxytocin-clad bliss that renders you incapable of quitting this drug.
Emotional intimacy: No matter how hard they both try, understanding each other and their varying worldviews is going to be difficult
Sexual chemistry: Intense, unlike anything they’ve felt before, passionate and intriguing
Trust: As the foundation of the relationship is rather weak, trust suffers as well
Intellectual synchronicity: The fact that the intelligent Libra works well with a mutable sign like Pisces makes these two perfect work buddies
Potential red flag to be wary of: Unless both partners work together to fix the issues, a whirlwind of negative emotions will follow, which will eventually lead to a negative relationship.
9. Aquarius and Pisces compatibility: When a free soul feels isolated
The only thing that makes an Aquarius-Pisces relationship work is utmost devotion toward a particular cause. That cause can be an undying willingness to make things work romantically or to unite to achieve a common goal as friends.
The reason why Aquarius and Pisces compatibility isn’t the best is that Pisces is just a bit more complex and emotional than the Aquarians care to entertain. Plus, both have got so many personal issues that coming together to try and care for a relationship becomes almost impossible.
Emotional intimacy: As a result of Aquarius needing more space than Pisces is willing to give, emotional intimacy may never develop unless a common ground is established
Sexual chemistry: The sexual chemistry between Aquarius-Pisces is generally good
Trust: Only when communication and a love language are established will there be room for trust to flourish
Intellectual synchronicity: The Aquarius-Pisces pair usually works well as friends or colleagues since they’re on the same intellectual wavelength
Potential red flag to be wary of: The air sign may feel smothered by the Piscean, and they may experience a lot of conflict over how they express love. They’ll both eventually feel misunderstood and harshly judged at some point, which is why they need to work on their communication problems and find a unified goal to sustain the relationship.
10. Leo and Pisces compatibility: Consistent effort and time may help
Though Leo-Pisces are from opposite ends of the spectrum (water and fire), with consistent effort, the relationship has a chance. The fiery Leo assumes responsibility and leadership in the relationship, which, depending on how aggressive they are about it, may or may not sit well with the fish.
To make the relationship work, there needs to be a balance between the determined & fixed fire sign and the flowy water sign. Even then, there may be some power struggles and difficulty understanding each other. At the end of the day, it’s important to realize that you’re both saying the same thing, and Leo’s compatibility is a bit more complexly displayed than the other zodiac signs.
Emotional intimacy: Only when both partners understand the other’s complex way of expression can emotional intimacy begin to grow
Sexual chemistry: It may not seem intuitive, but the sexual chemistry between the two can grow with constructive conversation
Trust: If the power struggles and the misunderstandings are cleared out, there’s a possibility of trust being the pillar of this relationship
Intellectual synchronicity: They’ll disagree on multiple issues, but once they learn to agree to disagree, they appreciate each other’s intelligence
Potential red flags to be wary of: Leo and Pisces compatibility suffers because of a lack of acceptance and a power struggle. The fiery and controlling nature of a Leo will make them assume that they’ve taken charge, and the Piscean who finds it difficult to give voice to their emotions may feel unheard, underappreciated, and neglected.
11. Gemini and Pisces compatibility: Two contrasting styles of communication
Gemini compatibility largely depends on communicating their needs clearly and bluntly, which might come off as too aggressive for Piscean. As a result of this, a relationship between the two gets tangled in a web of bad communication in a relationship that gets worse with time.
Gemini and Pisces compatibility isn’t inherent and they need to work toward it. There’s potential for jealousy, feeling attacked, and not understanding how the other makes decisions. For things to work, you’ve got to understand that you’re both on the same team.
Emotional intimacy: Once the methods, tone, and nature of communication are established, there is room for emotional intimacy to grow
Sexual chemistry: Water and fire signs often need to make an effort to feel totally comfortable with each other
Trust: Only if both partners are capable of clearing out the miscommunication will trust find a way
Intellectual synchronicity: The fish might be intimidated by Gemini at first but will eventually find a way to appreciate their intelligence
Potential red flags to be wary of: Since the list of Pisces compatibility in love doesn’t feature the Gemini-Pisces pairing too high up, you’ve got your work cut out for you. The dominant communication style of the Gemini might intimidate the fish, and you’ve got to work on clearing out any misunderstandings and learning how to communicate your feelings before things get irrevocably complicated.
12. Aries and Pisces compatibility: Superficial at best
Ever meet someone and realize that this person views everything in the world in the exact opposite way that you do? Or maybe when a friend introduces you to their friend and things just don’t click? Even if you two let the infatuation you’re confusing for love carry you past the two-month mark, a sense of unease is bound to set in.
Aries and Pisces compatibility, at least on paper, isn’t the strongest, to say the least. Aries will have a hard time understanding the free-flowing nature of a Piscean, which isn’t a surprise since both exist in opposing realms: fire and water. No wonder they rank as the least compatible sign on our list!
Emotional intimacy: The uber-determined and impatient nature of the Aries are in contrast with the Piscean. This usually leaves no room for emotional intimacy to grow between them
Sexual chemistry: Since there is no base of emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy is lackluster as well
Trust: The relationship feels superfluous and mutual trust is never even established
Intellectual synchronicity: Since they’re on opposing ends of the spectrum, they may experience conflict due to their differing worldviews
Potential red flags to be wary of: If you do find yourself in an Aquarius-Pisces mix, be careful of the nasty fights that are bound to happen. Your best bet is to understand and accept the other as they are, establish an agreed-upon love language, and build the foundations. Otherwise, things can get pretty chaotic and your romance short-lived.
Key Pointers
Pisces compatibility revolves around a zodiac sign that can help complement their emotional and empathetic nature
Pisces sign usually connects very well with water and earth signs
The Pisces’ best match, according to zodiac signs, only gives you a glimpse of what’s in store. You chart the destiny of your relationship yourself
So, there you have it. Pisces compatibility signs (and the not-so-compatible ones) listed out for you, from best to worst. Don’t be too alarmed if your and your partner’s signs ranked low, just work on your foundations and make sure you understand what your partner wants. If things get too rough, you’ve always got the option of connecting with relationship experts and astrologers on Bonobology’s panel for help.
FAQs
1. Who are Pisces compatible with?
Pisces zodiac sign compatibility tends to revolve around water signs (Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio) and earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn). That’s because these signs tend to complement the fish’s qualities of empathy and sensitivity.
2. Who should Pisces marry?
If you go by Pisces compatibility, Pisces should get hitched with someone belonging to either the water signs or the earth signs. However, marriage is a decision far too layered to be made just based on astrology.
When an individual you love ends a relationship, it can also be hard to go on. It has easy to street to redemption back into the patterns of heartache and tears, but you need to find a way to conquer it.
You’ll need to learn to push through the varied emotions, and sometimes that means allowing for yourself to feel every one not having trying to distract your self. For example , you really should binge eat and cry, yet that only prolongs your soreness and makes that https://qualitybride.com/legit-mail-order-bride/ more difficult for you to proceed. Instead, lean in to the pain is to do something to channel it–write a poem or melody about your breakup, take up kickboxing, visit a therapist.
It’s vital that you recognize that there is certainly not any set time frame for how long it should take to get over a person, says psychologist Rachel Zaman. All of it depends on the mother nature of your feelings, the size of the relationship, and your personal commitment to healing.
There are also several common blunders that people make the moment they’re in a breakup, which can make this even more difficult to go on. For instance, many people believe that getting over a break up is all about looking for their ex to accomplish something to build them feel better or give them drawing a line under.
This is certainly a dangerous strategy, because it may create an illusion of safety. It may also make you feel like you’re not really moving on and the relationship would not end.
You have to focus on getting your own personal path and building new relationships while functioning through the soreness of a break up, Zaman suggests. This will help you proceed faster preventing you right from dropping back into ancient, destructive habits just like resentment.
1 . Don’t be friends together with your ex
The quickest way to get over a breakup is usually to avoid rekindling feelings for your ex lover. That means not really spending time with them, not speaking with them, and not just texting them or examining https://www.psychreg.org/can-reiki-heal-broken-heart/ their social media dating profiles on a regular basis.
2 . Rarely hang out together with your ex
It could seem like a wise decision to have a beverage or take a00 date using your ex, yet that can be a slip-up when you’re in the middle of a breakup. It can make you feel vulnerable and resentful, which will only produce it harder to go on in the relationship.
3. Extracting all reminders of your ex girlfriend or boyfriend
Whether it may be photos of the ex or random knickknacks, it is important to remove anything that will remind you of them through your life. This kind of comprises all of their possessions, like their particular clothing, their sneakers, and anything they individual that has a extraordinary meaning to you personally.
4. Don’t blame yourself for the breakup
It is easy to let your thoughts swell with anger, sense of guilt, and bum out over when you have to deal with a breakup. You may have a mental list of almost all the points you performed wrong, but it isn’t really always useful to think about many when youre focusing on how you feel about the breakup.
Can you feel that—the love in the air? It’s that time of year again when the infamous holiday specifically for lovers graces our calendars. Maybe you draw a bright red circle around the 14th of February in anticipation of a romantic date with your significant other. Perhaps your current relationship status looks more like a night in sweats with Rocky Road on the couch alone. Regardless of your present love situation, at some point in our adult lives, most of us find ourselves in pursuit of finding our true love—the one we call our soulmate.
A soulmate is one of those words that’s been romanticized, glamorized, and glorified. We wonder if that kind of mystical love is even remotely possible or if it is just reserved for a scene on the big screen.
Is it even conceivable? Could our souls find their match out of almost eight billion people on earth?
We see this seeming impossibility becoming a reality when we witness a married couple celebrating their golden anniversary. The aged bride and groom stare at each other in awe while cutting the cake the same way they did fifty years ago. Their matching love-struck grins caught in a time capsule of sorts. And that’s a beautiful thing. It gives us hope if anything ignites a tiny flame stoking the longing to experience a love like that.
How did they do it? How did they defy the odds with the current divorce rate in the United States close to fifty percent? Is it possible they found their soulmate—the only one that makes their soul stir?
What Exactly Is a Soulmate?
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a soulmate as a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs. I’ve heard soulmate described in many manners, but all descriptions revolve around two people with a strong likeness and attraction to each other. They share a deep spiritual connection—they are kindred spirits.
Where Did the Term “Soulmate” Originate?
An article on Crosswalk explains the origin of soulmates: “The concept of soulmates stems from Greek Mythology and the famous philosopher Plato. In his writing, the Symposium, he taught that men and women were made in one body and were separated by the gods. The Greek myth defined humans as having two faces, four arms, and four legs and possessed incredible strength. But the Greek god Zeus feared humans had too much power and strength. He elected to slice every human being in half–thus sentencing us to roam the Earth our entire lives in search of our missing half–our soulmate.”
In the Symposium, Plato quotes the poet Aristophanes to explain the divine moment when two soulmates meet. “And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself … the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and one will not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment.”
Doesn’t that sound fantastic? I mean, not the whole angry, jealous god who cuts us in half, but the reunion of a lifetime! Of course, I don’t believe in Greek mythology, but I find it makes some good bedtime stories for those with wild imaginations.
What Does the Bible Say?
Does the Bible describe this phenomenon of catching the perfect fish from the sea? Is the term “soulmate” mentioned in the Bible?
Unfortunately, no. Like so many other terms, “soulmate” is not explicitly written anywhere in the sixty-six books of the canonized Bible. There is no instruction manual for finding the other half of our soul. But before you get your hopes up, remember, the Bible is undoubtedly all about love. After all, God is love (1 John 4:8). The Bible is not only a love story written for you; it is comprised of many love stories that teach us extensively about marriage—what it should be and shouldn’t be. God’s goal is that romantic love, with all its potential pain and degradation, should be an arena of enjoyment for his redeemed people.
Song of Songs (Solomon)
Perhaps the most notable book of the Bible that describes an intimate love and connection between two souls is the Song of Solomon. The Song of Solomon contains beautiful and sensuous poetry expressing the romantic love between a young shepherd and a young shepherdess in ancient Israel. The setting is a flowery and fruitful rural landscape, including a vineyard, and this is where the wedding takes place. It’s a beautiful read and gives you hope that it is possible to “find the one your soul loves” (Song of Solomon 3:1).
The Bible Starts with Marriage
We witness the first betrothed couple literally handmade by God in Genesis 2:7 when God takes dust and breathes life into Adam. He wasn’t done because He knew the man would need a helper to stand beside him. So God used one of Adam’s ribs to create Eve and formed the perfect companion (Genesis 2:21-22). In essence, Eve was his other half.
“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 23, ESV).
Some call Adam and Eve the first soulmates. After all, they were a perfect match created by the Master Matchmaker. An article in The New Yorker says, “In Michelangelo’s rendition, as in the Bible’s, the first man sleeps through the miraculous creation of his soul mate, the first woman and the eventual mother of humanity.”
The Bible Ends with Marriage
I understand the realities of failed marriages in today’s age and the devastating impact these failures have on our families. My family is dotted with broken marriages, and I was raised by a single mom. But I want to encourage you to open your heart to Jesus and keep Him first. As a believer, you can experience the overwhelming and undeserved love of Jesus today, tomorrow, and forever. Whether you find true love on this side of eternity or not, we, as the Church, have plenty of reasons to celebrate! Christ will return to marry His bride (Revelation 19:6-10).
Creating a deep spiritual connection, friendship, and loving relationship with another soul is possible. And I pray that you experience this kind of marriage. I know this because God blessed me with this kind of marriage. It’s not always easy, and we are far from perfect, but “us” is always worth it at the end of every day.
I don’t share too many of my prayers because I’m a silent praying girl. But I love sharing the beautiful testimony of what Jesus has done in my life. On New Year’s Eve of 1999, I prayed to meet my soulmate soon. Yes, I used the exact word “soulmate.” Maybe I was just a hopeless romantic fueled by the hormones of a sixteen-year-old, but I longed to find someone who saw me and loved me for exactly who I was. That prayer must have called down heaven because I met my match that night. And twenty-three years, two sons, and lots of ups and downs later, we are still best friends, and he is the only one who stirs my soul.
Darcie Fuqua is a Business Analyst, Auburn Grad (War Eagle!), Christian blogger & podcast host, and mental health advocate. She is from the deep south of Alabama, where she currently resides with her husband, two energetic fun-loving boys, and a dog named Charlie. She loves sinking her toes in the sand, cuddling with her boys, and having great conversations over a table of good food. You can read more of her writing on her website www.leightonlane.com and connect with her on Facebook and Instagram. Check out Darcie’s latest project as cohost of Therapy in 10.
Child care logistics, tight work schedules, booked-up reservations, pandemic-triggered introversion…there are plenty of factors that influence how we approach our traditions and rituals. Date nights are an important way to make time for each other. Thinking beyond dinner out and a movie, what options are there for a couple looking for romance?
We asked our team; what are your top recommendations for the perfect at-home date nights? The result? Enough ideas to get us through the year!
Get creative and set up a surprise indoor picnic; find a bread basket, some wine and cheese. If you have kids, keep the prep simple, do it earlier in the day and then wait until the kids are sleeping for the picnic!
Make dinner together. Eat by candlelight with a great bottle of wine; everything seems more special over candlelight. Have dessert in front of a fire. ENJOY!
Create a special event together. Make a point to dress up a little, light some candles, and turn on a romantic playlist. After a candlelit dinner and maybe even a slow dance or two, go through photos together. Reminisce about memories early in your relationship and maybe even before. Ideally, these photos are not on your phone where distractions are waiting!
Have your old family movies digitalized and share them. Make it a party and share them with other interested friends (even on Zoom), lots of laughs and a creative way to share a “double date.”
Share the love this Valentine’s Day. Sit down together and write three or four cards each to someone that the two of you want to feel loved.
Have some fun together! Any activity that you both enjoy will serve; preparing meals, wine tasting, board games. Also, The Gottman Card Deck App, is a fantastic way for couples to connect over meaningful conversations.
Designate a spot in the home and create various themes for each date time: day or night. Perhaps you have a picnic corner, a “drive in” movie spot, a paint night area…get creative as you reimagine your space.
Set up a distraction-free zone; turn off all screens and devices. Each of you write out three things (all on separate pieces of paper) you would love to do at home, e.g., go for a walk with a coffee, play a board game, cook dinner, foot massage, or any of the other ideas from this list! Then pick out one from each partner’s pile. Those are your two activities for at-home date night. You can even save the unselected cards and draw again next week.
Takeout and a streaming movie. Grab your delivery menu and order some fun appetizers and pick a new release off of Hulu or Netflix. A variation can be to pop up some popcorn and watch a few episodes of each of your favorite tv shows when you were a kid. A chance to talk about the times that made you who you are and share some of your childhood with your significant other.
Game night: get out the checkerboard, a deck of cards or any board game. If you are feeling smart try chess. Feeling sexy try strip poker.
Have a slumber party. Spring for a new pair of pajamas or surprise each other with a gift of pajamas. Listen to music, watch a scary movie or a romcom and wolf down some snacks.
Breakfast in bed. Alternate weeks preparing a fun breakfast. It can be as simple as toast and coffee or as elaborate as Eggs Benedict. Nothing better than a comfy snuggle on a lazy weekend.
Cooking class. Pick an online cooking video. Order up all the ingredients and spend the evening baking bread or making gumbo.
Art Class. Order in an art project from your hobby store. I have a couple who orders a different piece to a platter set and spends the evening with a bottle of wine painting the piece which has become symbolic of their closeness and a conversation piece whenever they can have company again.
A different kind of date “day” would be a “NO ELECTRONICS” DAY. If that might be too hard to go cold turkey try a Saturday afternoon or a Sunday morning.
Walks are way underrating as a way of connecting. Of course, mind social distancing and wear your mask but a big open air park can give you a chance to chat—even bring the Gottman cards if you are worried about running out of things to say.
Story Time. Imagine the fun you used to have being read to. Audible has every kind of book imaginable on tape from self-help to Shakespeare to romance to thrillers. You can stop it at any point to discuss what you’ve heard. It could be a book on improving your relationship, budgeting or gardening. Or some spicy mystery.
Date nights at home require commitment; you can make it work!
Remember the worst date night is better than the same old routine. It’s an investment in time in your relationship that will pay off for decades. This list includes ideas that are free and ideas that could take a little budgeting but there is something for every couple here to plan for regular rituals that feed your relationship.
Valentine’s Day can be a great kick start for couples to make time for each other regularly; like a New Year’s resolution for your relationship. If a regular date night is something that has fallen out of your routine during this pandemic it is time to carve out the time again.
The future of abortion is medication abortion. Anti-abortion activists know this. That’s why they’re coming after abortion pills—and fighting hard to get it banned nationwide.
In a new episode of Boom! Lawyered, Jess and Imani dive into Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine v. FDA, the case before a Trump judge that could ban mifepristone, one of the two pills used in medication abortions.
Mentioned in this episode:
Transcript (coming soon)
Rewire News Group is a nonprofit media organization, which means that Boom! Lawyered is only made possible by the support of listeners like you! If you can, please join our team by donating here.
And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.
Romance is in high gear as people are busy searching Google for Valentine’s gifts, romantic songs, date ideas, the cities to visit on Valentine’s Day, and the debate about white chocolate versus dark chocolate.
Let’s start with romantic songs, as having a music playlist on Valentine’s Day or even on any date night is something I recommend.
Top Searched Love Songs on Google
I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You by Elvis Presley tops the list, followed by I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston, Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers, Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars, and Make You Feel My Love by Adele.
Many of these romantic songs are played at weddings and would be perfect on a Valentine’s playlist.
Las Vegas tops the search list on where to take your Valentine.
While many refer to Las Vegas as “Sin City,” it’s become a robust town filled with fine dining and an abundance of entertainment.
Following Las Vegas on the list is New York, a favorite for Broadway theatre, romantic walks or a horse and buggy carriage ride in Central Park, and museums galore.
Chicago, Orlando, and Miami are on the Top 5 list. Bundle up if you’re going to Chicago, and remember to pack a swimsuit for the Florida destinations.
Top Searched Date Activities in 2023
Dating trends this year include fun activities above over-the-top fancy dates, and this map shows where singles are researching for date ideas in their state.
The most popular date is a simple drink or drinks and dinner date, and it tops the list, followed by going to a fun center such as a game arcade or escape room event. A movie date can be romantic when you’re nibbling on popcorn together.
Still Looking for a Valentine?
For those hoping to find a Valentine, Google reports the top events and activities for singles in the past week include:
For singles still looking for a Valentine, the top searches in the US include
What Chocolate Should You Buy for Your Valentine?
Finally, since Americans will spend an estimated $26 billion on Valentine’s, including $2.3 billion on flowers and purchasing 58 million pounds of chocolate on Valentine’s Day, here’s the answer to the great debate on chocolate.
The majority of the country favors dark chocolate over the sweeter blend of white chocolate.
Whatever you do, and wherever you go, remember to love yourself first, indulge in a bubble bath, send yourself a Valentine’s card, curl up on the sofa, watch a rom-com, and know that love is a 365-day activity that will never go out of style.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert. She’s an award-winning dating coach who’s been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.
OkCupid releases new in-app matching questions written by the famous chatbot
OkCupid is the only dating app in the world that matches people on what matters to them through in-app questions that power our algorithm. These questions help us remain close to what’s trending in culture, politics, and society at large.
Over the past couple of years artificial intelligence has been a hot topic, most recently with ChatGPT dominating conversations online and offline. In January, there was a 91% increase in mentions of “artificial intelligence” and “ChatGPT” on OkCupid profiles compared to the month prior. So we asked the chatbot from OpenAI what it would ask on a date, and what would it ask on a dating app?
We added half a dozen of those questions — about everything from what you value most in a partner to how you can balance your own needs with the needs of a partner in a relationship — and daters have already answered them more than 175,000 times.
Are you more of an introvert or extrovert?
Introvert (66%)
Extrovert (34%)
Are you a morning or night person?
Morning (35%)
Night (65%)
What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend?
Exploring neighborhoods (12%)
Hanging out with friends (35%)
Relaxing at home (47%)
Working out (5%)
What do you value most in a partner?
Physical attraction (7%)
Communication (38%)
Romance (7%)
Trust (48%)
How do you know when to take a relationship to the next level?
I trust my gut (88%)
I have a list of criteria (12%)
How do you balance your own needs with the needs of your partner in a relationship?
I schedule time for myself (9%)
I communicate my needs (30%)
I spend social time without them (1%)
All of the above (59%)
Artificial intelligence provides numerous benefits in both our personal and professional lives. In fact, daters who think ChatGPT is a “life saver” get almost 40% more Matches on OkCupid than those who think it’s “too big brother.” But most singles are still uncertain about how important these tools will play in building and fostering romantic relationships (beyond creating matching questions, of course):
52% of Millennials and 45% of Gen Z’ers think using artificial intelligence on profile photos is a turn-off (42% and 48% respectively are undecided)
7 in 10 daters (70%) think that using artificial intelligence to create your profile or message others is considered a violation of trust
52% of daters do not think artificial intelligence can replace interpersonal human interaction right now, but 42% said “not now, but maybe in the future”
Due to the popular response to our ChatGPT-generated matching questions, we will be adding new AI-written matching questions to our app monthly throughout 2023.
Even during their studies, many students undergo internships to gain experience, start working in the evening shifts, and some in the morning. Double loading can lead to burnout and damage your health if not properly distributed.
1. Break the day into hours
First of all, decide how many hours a day you will work and how much time it takes to move “home – work” and “work – study”. Then you need to add to this 8 hours a day for sleep and allocate time for food and household needs. If the amount exceeds 24 hours, then you will have to change your work schedule or reduce your study time; for example, study on weekends rather than on weekdays.
In addition, you will have to spend some time doing things on your own. If you do not put this time into your plan, then it will not be enough. And this will lead to the fact that you will either not cope with your studies, or you will have to take time off from work, for example, take study leave.
If the work cannot be included in the plan, it may be necessary to look for another vacancy, for example, with a flexible schedule, Igolkina advises.
Once you’ve roughly estimated the amount of time you’ll need, start making a plan. First, write down the most important things that are tied to a specific time (study, work, etc.).
Next, distribute the cases in order of importance, think about which of them can be postponed to a later date. When planning your day, leave a certain amount of time in reserve, because if unforeseen things arise, the entire schedule can be disrupted.
Be sure to include time for sleep in your daily plan. You can free some time for relaxation by delegating tasks to a service that will produce the cheapest essay. If this is not done, then you will most likely begin to solve all your problems over time by reducing sleep. And this after some time will lead to a decrease in learning, that is, it will take you 2-3 times more time to learn the same information that you would have mastered much faster.
Many spend hours “swaying” when you just need to take it and do it. Do not accumulate “tails” for homework, as the more they accumulate, the more difficult it will be to motivate yourself for further study. Use the principle of long-term memorization. You should not hope that on the last night before the exam you will learn everything that was supposed to be memorized during the semester, the specialist says. Every day, you should allocate at least a little time to study some of the necessary material.
4. Relax and chat with friends
For successful study and work, you need to stock up on positive emotions and a sufficient amount of strength, so be sure to take time to rest. In the face of time pressure, it is important to combine your needs as much as possible, for example, to combine communication with friends with going to the cinema or swimming pool.
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Use the help of friends. Unfortunately, very often people do not do this. If you and your classmates start helping each other, studying will become more fun and effective, and it will also take a lot less time.
5. Make the most of your time on the road
Try to do several things in parallel. Many spend 1-2 hours on the road only one way. Think about how many such hours come up in a year and how you can spend them usefully! It is enough to go over the list of tasks: if you have the Internet and a gadget, you can do many things right on the road.
In public transport, read a textbook or work materials, listen to audiobooks, learn a foreign language, answer customer emails, and think about and write down new ideas and plans.
6. Determine the outcome and reward in advance
Even on weekends, make a to-do list. For example: “Disassemble all the documents on the table. When I’m done, there should be three piles on the table – documents for the archive, for today, and other people’s papers. All the garbage is in the basket; the table is wiped and ready to go.” Also, determine the reward for completing the plan item: a chocolate bar or watching one episode of the series.
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The main thing is to turn off or remove distractions: phones, TV, and music; otherwise, there is a high probability of freezing in front of the screen or chatting with someone. As a rule, the case with this approach takes three times less time than you expected. And do not forget about the reward; you promised it to yourself and not to anyone else.
The bottom line
With the modern rhythm of life, many people do not have enough 24 hours to do everything. Balancing work and study is not an easy task. Time management comes to the aid of students and workaholics. The chances of success will increase several times if you heed the advice of experts and start a diary.
You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words.
This is so true, especially when it comes to online dating sites and apps.
Men are visual, which means to get your profile noticed online, you need a great picture.
It’s why I created a list of picture-taking do’s and don’ts just for you.
It’s the first step to getting noticed by the good guys online.
#1 . . . DON’T post pictures where a man needs a magnifying glass to see you.
I don’t care how beautiful that mountain is behind you.
If it takes up more space than you do, don’t use the picture.
#2 . . . DON’T wear clothing that reveals too much.
A little cleavage is acceptable but showing three-quarters of your breast covered only by a small piece of material is not okay.
When you do this, men think you are looking for a sex partner, not a relationship.
#3 . . . DON’T post pictures with your friends.
How many times have you seen men post pictures with 3 of their closest friends?
I bet you started wondering which one is the guy who wrote the profile?
And how often did you wish it were the guy’s friend posting the profile because he was better looking?
Men do the same thing when you post pictures with other women.
Do yourself a favor and only post pictures of you!
#4 . . . DON’T post pictures with other men, even if he’s your son, brother or father.
Believe it or not, men think it’s a man you’ve dated in the past or are still involved with.
It’s a turn off so don’t do it.
#5 . . . DON’T take selfies.
No one likes seeing someone’s toilet in the background or the camera covering half your face in the mirror.
#6 . . . DON’T post pictures with your animals and grandchildren.
They may be cute but believe it or not, they are seen as competition for your time with men.
#7 . . . DON’T post pictures that make you look mad, sad, or indifferent to life.
I know you may be wondering who does this?
But . . . believe me when I tell you that lots of women do.
And when a man sees a picture like this, he thinks . . . NEXT and moves on.
#8 . . . DO know that men are visual creatures.
The first thing he will look at is your picture, not what you’ve written in your profile.
That means you want to post a great picture of you that catches his attention as he’s scrolling through the dating site.
#9 . . . DO take a picture that shows your best assets.
If it’s your legs, be sure to show them.
If it’s your waist, show that.
You want to grab a man’s attention with what is great about you.
#10 . . . DO know that you have 10 seconds to get a man’s attention.
Make your picture count!
#11 . . . DO post at least 2 great pictures of you: a good headshot and a full body shot.
When you only post headshots, men think you’re hiding something you don’t want them to see.
And often that’s exactly what you’re doing.
I know you’re probably figuring that once he gets to know you, it won’t matter.
Believe me, it does matter in the sense that it makes him question you and your honesty.
He’ll think, if you’re dishonest about this, what else aren’t you telling him?
Be honest here because, in reality, you want a guy who accepts you for exactly who you are.
#12 . . . DO hire a pro or ask a friend or one of your kids who is camera savvy to take photos for you.
The advantage of a professional photograph is they help you stand out from everyone else on the site.
Just make sure the photographer does minimal retouching and that you look like the person in the picture.
That being said, mobile phones take pretty good pics so it’s worth asking someone who is photo savvy to help you out.
#13 . . . DO wear clothing that makes you look and feel your best.
You take a better picture when you are feeling like the amazing woman you are.
And when you smile and say “Cheese”, act as if you’re looking into your guys eyes.
The emotions come across in your pics.
#14 . . . DO post recent pictures.
I admit it’s nice to look like you’re 40 again but there’s something wrong when a guy has to call you because he can’t figure out who you are at the Starbucks where you’re meeting.
#15 . . . DO SMILE! Men are naturally drawn to pictures of women who smile.
Your smile makes you glow and gives the impression that you are fun and positive to be around.
This is so attractive to the men you want to meet!
Valentine’s Day is tomorrow and I have 3 quick tips to make it fun for you.
Tip #1-Do something special for you. You deserve it!
Tip #2-If you don’t have a date, see if one of your friends is available to do something fun.
Tip #3-So you don’t spend another Valentine’s alone, get online tonight or tomorrow night and post some great pics. Men are lonely too!
It is possible at 73 to meet your perfect match!
When I met Lisa and began her “Love after 50” group program, I was 73 years old, over 6 feet tall and had not dated in many, many years. I saw these all as real obstacles to finding a relationship. To my amazement, the man I found, while working with Lisa, in addition to having every single quality I was looking for in a partner, saw these as assets! As a widower, he had not dated in many years, he loves tall women and never lets me forget that he is 2 years younger than me. I believe that we found each other because of Lisa’s guidance helping me get really clear on who I wanted, fine-tuning my profile to reflect that vision along with having access to all of tools that she has created for the program and her personal guidance. Unsure and very hesitant to start dating again, she was my perfect match for making this happen in my life! Heather, New Jersey
Ready to have your love life be different?
If so, let’s set up a time to talk about how you can make it happen.
Your partner receives a text from someone they don’t particularly like. If it was you, you would have hit reply within a minute and forgotten all about it later. Not your partner, though. Here’s what dating an overthinker could look like: Your anxious partner is now running drafts of a response in their head, trying to analyze the choice of tone and words, and thinking of all the ways their text could be perceived. They finally hit ‘send’ only to worry about: “Would they feel upset?” “Should I have messaged this/that instead?”
Research suggests that 73% of 25 to 35-year-olds and 52% of 45 to 55-year-olds chronically overthink. One seemingly small thing sets off a chain of mental events that they feel unable to control. You probably see your beloved partner tackle these mental gymnastics every day, and wish to learn how to comfort an overthinker in a situation like this. We will go through a list of 15 things that you can do for successfully dating someone who overthinks everything.
Why Is It Hard To Date An Overthinker?
From the above example, it’s clear that an overthinker feels pressured to do things ‘right’, they care what others think of them, they over-explain, they constantly assume that they are not seen in a positive light, and they second-guess their ideas all the time. Exhausting. If you’re dating a person with anxiety, it means you have learned to speak in your ‘slowwwly step away from the ledge’ tone a few times.
While dating an overthinker, you may face challenges because of the following behavioral patterns:
They might have an all-or-nothing attitude: “We had a fight, so we must be breaking up or you must not love me anymore” “I disappointed you and messed up, I shouldn’t be in relationships at all” Heartbreaking how they jump to the worst, right?
Making decisions could take a lot of time: This is one of the obvious things to expect when dating an overthinker. Time flies when you are caught up in a web of your own weaving, after all. Even after a decision is made, they may not feel sure about it
They might be perfectionists: Loving an overthinker comes with dealing with the fact that they might have unrealistic expectations from themselves, and even you. “I should behave like this.” “Okay, I’m sure this time. Let’s go with the seventh plan that I came up with for our date.” “The gift you get for my second cousin’s uncle’s neighbor needs to be perfect.”
They jump to ten different conclusions: This is how your anxious partner prepares themselves for a hard task, situation, or change. They build up all possible scenarios to a situation, because “just in case” and “what if”. Mostly, none of these conclusions are positive as they are reflections of their worries
They can get stuck in the past or the future: The overthinkers in relationships might ruminate over past issues, they could be embarrassed anew by a past mistake, or feel distressed thinking of a past traumatic event. Or they might jump way ahead in the future thinking about your lives together, your plans, your finances, your goals, etc.
It could get tiring to be the calm to their storm: If you’re in love with an overthinker, you would do anything to help them feel better when their mind spirals. But it could get tiring if they depend solely on you to manage this aspect of their personality. As per a Reddit thread, “It was exhausting with her trying to read a deeper meaning into every single thing I did or said.”
Overthinking is a person’s way to achieve a semblance of safety, control, and understanding of their inner and outer environment. Often, their brain reacts to a perceived and familiar threat, and leads them into an overdrive to protect them. Overthinking can be caused by stressors, health issues, financial problems, loss, or trauma. If one doesn’t manage their chronic overthinking, it can lead to mental health issues and even physical illness.
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Dr. J. Christopher Fowler, director of professional wellness at Houston Methodis, says in this article, “Overthinking can feel an awful lot like problem-solving. But problem-solving is when you ask questions with the intent of finding an answer. Overthinking is when you dwell on possibilities and pitfalls without any real intent of solving a problem. In fact, a problem or potential problem may not even actually exist.”
Now that you know some of the things to expect when dating an overthinker, let’s talk about how you can date this person successfully. Here are our 15 tips to make that happen:
1. Hear them out
Alec, a reader from Dallas, tells us how to date an overthinker, “My partner overthinks a lot. I know it comes from a place of not feeling safe enough. So in order to be a better boyfriend, I do what I do best: I listen. I don’t offer advice unless asked. That’s really all that’s required sometimes. And a long hug, of course.”
Validate your partner; their feelings are important. If they could ‘choose’ to not overthink, they would. Clearly, there are bigger internal forces at play here and you need to respect the fact that your partner is anxious about something, regardless of your feelings on the subject. Listen to them. Let them let it out.
2. Don’t generalize or mock their overthinking
This is one of the relationship red flags in a man/woman that one needs to watch out for. Never resort to telling your partner that they are overthinking when they have ‘legitimate’ concerns. Yes, you have an overthinking partner. That doesn’t mean that every line of thought or every insight they share is a result of their anxious brain. You can’t censor, shut them down, or judge their reasonable worries by telling them that they are “just overthinking”.
3. Dig up the source of their present anxiety
Okay, so what’s going on? Help them name the ‘specific’ emotions they are experiencing. Are they feeling frustrated, concerned, hungry, guilty, angry, jealous, rejected, betrayed, lonely? This will help you get to the root of the issue.
Did a close friend cancel on them at the last minute? They might perceive this as a personal rejection. They might think their friend doesn’t like them anymore and they are feeling scared and hurt. But this manifests through overthinking about “all’ their friendships and how “I’m not doing enough”.
Did their mother call them in the morning and is emotionally blackmailing them to marry? It’s frustrating. They don’t feel seen and heard by their parents, and they feel their worth is reduced to their marriage status. But the way they present this anxiety in front of you is by overthinking about their life goals and future.
Their mind is a jumble. Expressing their feelings is not easy for them right now. If you can be a kind mirror to their anxiety, that would be helpful. So, name the problem to solve the problem.
4. Remind them gently that emotions and feelings are not necessarily facts
Do this only when they are receptive to you. Feelings are pieces of information provided by your brain based on your heart rate, your senses, environment, body temperature, thoughts, etc. When your partner is distressed, remind them that this is temporary, help them figure out where the emotion is stemming from, what it’s trying to tell them, and help them feed ‘new’ information to their brain that helps the brain understand that things ARE okay. (You can do this through grounding techniques that we’ll discuss later.)
Dr. Julie Smith says in her book Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?: “We can’t just press a button and produce our desired set of emotions for the day. But we do know that how we feel is closely entwined with: a) the state of our body, b) the thoughts we spend time with, c) and our actions. These parts of our experience are the ones that we can influence and change. The constant feedback between the brain, the body, and our environment means that we can use those to influence how we feel.”
This shows us how we get stuck in cycles of low mood. But the good thing is it also shows us the way out. Adapted from Greenberger & Padesky (2016). Image from Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?
5. Always be clear with your intent and communication
Keep the following in mind when dating an overthinker:
Don’t make them assume things. The overthinker in a relationship can catch on to your vibes. Spell out what’s on your mind
If you are mad at them, tell them clearly how you feel without being passive-aggressive for days
You need space. Okay, tell them. Don’t just withdraw in the hope that they will catch a hint
When dating an overthinker, be kind and keep your communication clear, intentional, and complete
Don’t surprise them if they are uncomfortable with surprises
6. Never send messages like “we need to talk” without context
Basically, don’t scare them to death. Cryptic messages, vague intentionality, letting them think something is wrong (when it’s not) – just no. They ‘will’ jump to the worst conclusions and reach the darkest corners of their mind. If there’s an important discussion regarding finances, instead of texting “we need to talk”, tell them, “Hey, I was thinking we can go over our finances when you get some time. Let’s brainstorm about our monthly budget and savings, yeah? I can use your help.”
If you’re in love with an overthinker, try to ask yourself, and them: What is causing them to overthink? Dig deeper. You need to learn about their:
Anxieties
Triggers
Losses and griefs
Fears
General landscape of their mental health
Physical health problems
Upbringing and relationship with parents
Common/recurring stressors
Experience of systemic discrimination, like racism, classism, colorism, queerphobia, etc.
There’s a reason for them to be in self-preservation and survival mode, and why their body and mind feel threatened. To be a loving partner to them, you must understand where they are coming from.
8. Redirect them gently and break down the problem
Help them take baby steps when they fail to do so. See if you can get them to zoom in to just one part of the problem. So, the refrigerator broke down. They don’t have enough money. A friend owes them money but hasn’t given it back yet and they are now mad at the friend too. They forgot to get the refrigerator serviced when they were supposed to, so now they are wondering, “Oh no, is it MY fault?” They don’t have enough time OR money to purchase a refrigerator right now. There’s food in there that will spoil and they don’t know what to do with it — this is their state of mind.
Break it down. Tell them that we don’t have to buy a new refrigerator right away. Let’s call the customer support and wait for them to tell us what the issue is, and then we can come up with a plan. Offer to go to the neighbors/friends to request them to keep some of the perishable items in their fridge. When the panic subsides a little, you can even use light (not insensitive) humor to bring them to the present moment.
9. Dating an overthinker will require you to stay calm
That’s the key. It might seem like they want you to follow them inside their storm, but that’s not what they ‘need’. Yes, your nonchalance in the face of their anxiety would be insensitive. But they do need you to stay calm and compassionate so they have an anchor to tug back to.
Here’s what to say to an overthinker boyfriend/girlfriend/partner:
“This is a lot. Of course you’re stressed, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this”
Book an appointment with their therapist on their behalf/Help them find a trauma-informed therapist
Remind them to journal if that’s something they do already
Make sure they’ve eaten, hydrated, slept enough, taken their medicines – the lack of these basics can cause overthinking too
Get them away from overstimulating or triggering environment, if any
11. Say “we can do this” instead of “don’t think like that”
An overthinker needs a good communicator. Be the person who comes up with solutions (or just a listening ear), and not the one that goes up to a person who has a cold and tells them “Don’t sneeze”. Like we said before, if they could have stopped overthinking, they would have.
While giving them a solution, remember this:
Don’t be condescending, irritable, or angry
Ask them if ‘they’ think it’s a good idea
Offer your help. Eg.: If they’re experiencing phone anxiety, and are overwhelmed at the thought of having to call people, then offer to make the calls on their behalf
12. It’s draining to overthink, so take care of them
If you’re dating an overthinker, they’ve run twenty circles around the huge question of ‘us’, i.e. you and them. According to a user on a Reddit thread, “I found I was applying a double standard for my relationship. Why do I think of it with a lens of idealism? Yes, a relationship is a large part of one’s life and should be, for the best, done as optimally as possible, but if you can tell me something else you did perfectly or idyllically, I will be surprised.”
Apart from their overthinking on the relationship front, they will be hard on themselves – their mistakes, their failed/stalled/imperfect plans, decision-making skills, etc. Be kind to them and accept them as they are. Place your faith in them because often, they can’t do the same for themselves.
13. To comfort an overthinker, you’ll need to be patient
You’d think that their thought process should go from A to B. But they might take a circuitous route and hit C and F, roll down to Q and Z, before they finally land at B, and wonder if they should go back again. For them, covering those bases is important at that moment. Try to understand the reasoning behind their thought process, scattered or hyper as it seems, in order to achieve emotional attunement with your partner.
14. Remind them of their worth
“I’m not good enough,” this is what Alyssa, a 26-year-old wood sculptor, used to think whenever they hit a bump on the road. “I would fall down the rabbit hole of self-deprecation and think that no one would love, hire, befriend me – depending on the area of my perceived rejection.”
Here’s what you need to keep in mind when your overthinking partner jumps down this rabbit hole:
When they start to spiral about their career, remind them gently about their important role at work, their professional growth, their learnings, and their success stories
When they start to worry too much about your relationship, remind them of their value in your life. Provide them with the assurance of your love by expressing your feelings sincerely
If they are indignant about someone’s bad opinion of them, remind them of the 90-10 formula where 90% should be a person’s self-worth versus only 10% of assigned worth and external validation
An overthinker needs a good communicator to help them calm down. You will need to be one if you’re thinking of dating them.
It’s not all gloom and panic. You’re both going on a trip? They may have covered all the bases of the travel logistics that you didn’t even think of. They’ve planned ahead, thought things through, made the bookings based on maximum mutual comfort, confirmed the said bookings, charted out an itinerary, checked out activities in advance, decided the appropriate clothes for the weather, and basically over-prepared till the end of time.
This is one of the great things about dating an overthinker. Express your feelings of gratitude and adoration. Maybe cook for them or pick some chocolate gifts to express your love? Many a time, they overthink because they have your safety, health, pleasure, and well-being in mind.
16. Mutual boundaries will sustain your love
Remember this when you’re dating someone who overthinks everything. Ultimately, if you don’t have the capacity to listen or indulge at any point, and need some time for yourself, tell them so gently. Take care of them out of love, not out of obligation or a growing feeling of resentment. Try these:
“Hey, I know you’re stressed, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. But I want to be honest, I’m unable to absorb any of this properly right now. Can you give me some time to self-regulate?”
“I really need to focus on this task right now as I have a deadline, but I promise I’ll listen to you once I’m done. Do you think you can call one of your friends or family members in the meantime?”
“Remember all those grounding techniques we learned recently? Do you think you can try a couple of those? I’ll check in with you later, I promise, I need to rest right now.”
The truth is, loving an overthinker can actually be a beautiful experience. They strive to create perfect memories in the relationship and sincerely wish to be a great partner to you. Here are some of the qualities most people who are naturally anxious look for in their romantic interests:
Someone who listens patiently without judgment: Tia, a graduate from Ohio University, shares, “I know when I’m overthinking. I usually catch myself doing it. But I still need to reach the end of the thought process sometimes and my partner does a stellar job at providing me time and space for just that.”
Someone who is willing to learn about their triggers and anxieties: You can’t just say you love an overthinker and not put in the effort to learn about their mental patterns and intrusive thoughts. Is it because of trauma? Financial trouble? Childhood events? Mental health illness and disability? Physical disability? Find out
Someone who can love them ‘with’ their overthinking and not despite it: To the guy who is dating an overthinker, you can’t edit your partner’s personality and only like the parts that fit into your ideal notion of a relationship. You gotta love them entirely
Someone who doesn’t run away from conversations: A user on a Reddit thread, who thinks too much, says, “Both my partner and I have a tendency to do this, and openly talking about it has helped us a lot. We both make sure the other knows that they are free to bring up insecurities or anxiety, and we do it by checking in with each other. Often I will say something like, “this may just be my anxiety, but when you said X did you mean [what I’m feeling]?”
Someone who doesn’t make them feel worse about their overthinking patterns: They know they overthink. They analyze a lot. They second-guess everything. They are aware of how anxious they are. Don’t make them feel worse about it by pointing it out to them when they are feeling fragile
Key Pointers
An overthinker doubts their every opinion and thought, goes back on their decisions, worries a lot, is a perfectionist, is stuck either in the past or the future, and is generally in an anxious state of mind
They overthink in order to feel safe, to do the ‘right’ thing, and because of present/past health issues, systemic discrimination, traumas, or upbringing
The way to support your overthinking partner is to hear them out, not judge them, learn about their past, reassure them, try to gently bring them back to the present through mindfulness exercises, and to appreciate them when their overthinking ways end up helping you
Your partner worries a lot. So they must have had hundreds of doubts about you and your relationship too. Of all the permutations and combinations that your overthinking partner came up with, you still ended up winning their love. No matter how much their anxious brain tried to think of the worst possible outcomes for dating you, they still knew they wanted you in their life. And that’s something, isn’t it?
Having a female best friend is having a sister, partner-in-crime, sounding board, and support system all in one. They understand you in a way very few can, and you never have to worry about being alone as long as you have them in your life. You can talk 10 times a day or just once a month but either way, you know they have your back when you need them to.
We’ve put together a list of 9 quotes about female friendship to help you appreciate your bestie and let them know just how special they are to you.
Roller Rabbit is a fashion brand that creates cute and stylish clothes for women, kids, and babies. The brand has a very family-friendly aesthetic, as seen in its name, logo, and clothing designs. The message the brand wants to send through its clothing and accessories is that of love, family, togetherness, and peace.
Where Can You Buy Roller Rabbit Brand Products?
Roller Rabbit brand merchandise can be purchased from the brand’s official online store page (RollerRabbit.com). Roller Rabbit’s products can also be purchased from select online fashion retailers like Shopbop. Always be sure to purchase named brand products from official or reputable companies on the internet. This is the best way to avoid being sold counterfeit or defective products.
For international customers, the brand’s official website only ships to the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia. They don’t ship to P.O. boxes and they don’t ship on Saturdays, Sundays, or holidays. The brand will often experience delays in its shipping time during the holiday seasons as well.
The brand’s clothing line captures styles from all around the world, no wonder their stuff is wanted by women and families the world over. Image courtesy of Roller Rabbit.
How Long Does It Take For Roller Rabbit Products To Ship?
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The Shipping times for Roller Rabbit bran products depend on where the products are being shipped from and where the products are being shipped to. These time frames are based on the time frames listed on the roller rabbit official online store page. For domestic ground orders will take between 3 and 7 business days. Priority and express shipping are offered but are both currently unavailable. Their shipping times are 2-3 business days for express and 1-2 business days for priority. All three international countries Australia, Canada, and the United Kingdom only support the standard shipping method and have the same estimated shipping time of 7 to 10 business days.
The Interesting History Of The Roller Rabbit Brand
So you might be wondering, who founded the Roller Rabbit brand? Well, it’s actually a pretty interesting story. A story beginning with a young woman named Roberta Freymann. Roberta was born in London and spent a lot of time working as the head of a knitwear business. During those years, she also did a lot of traveling in her free time.
Now here is a woman who knows style. Just look at her house! Image courtesy of OneKingsLane.
Inspired by a Bazaar she visited during her time traveling, Roberta opened up an accessories boutique just off Madison Avenue in New York. After some time, Roberta expanded the number of products available at her shop to include clothing items as well. Around this time she also moved the store to East 70th Street and began opening more store locations in East Hampton, Palm Beach, and San Francisco. This brand is known as Roberta Freymann and to this day it sells ready-to-wear, outerwear, jewelry, and accessories for women with designs created in collaboration with local artisans from South America, Europe, and more.
So what does the Roller Rabbit brand have to do with all this? Well, in 2003 Roberta launched a spin-off brand named Roberta Roller Rabbit. The brand’s name and theme were inspired by a fable Roberta learned about a magical rabbit while traveling in India. The small spin-off brand grew and expanded at a healthy rate into the iconic brand it is today.
In 2017, Roberta sold the Roberta Roller Rabbit spin-off brand, this is why the current name of the brand is just Roller Rabbit. The new Roller Rabbit’s official store page doesn’t actually say who the current owner of the brand is, so that information is a bit of a mystery. However, the brand does tell us a bit about its message, and philosophy, and gives a bit more detail about the magical Rabbit story that the brand’s name is based on.
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The brand’s current message is to create products that put people at ease and make us cherish the moments we spend with friends and family. A beautiful message, to say the least, only matched by the beauty found in the brand’s designs and fabrics. As of now, the brand has a focus on selling dresses, pajamas, bedding, and accessories. The brand works with artisans from India, Peru, Italy, Portugal, Kenya, Nicaragua, and even the United States to produce patterns and designs unlike anything else on the market.
Roller Rabbit’s Pajama Collection
Jammies for the fammie!
Out of all the products Roller Rabbit is known for, its pajamas are likely the most well-known. Unlike the rest of its catalog, the pajama collection actually offers products for every member of the family. Men, women, and children can enjoy these colorful and cozy jammies.
Roller Rabbit Originals: The Hathi Pajamas
These pajamas are one of the brand’s originals and comes in three colors, pink, blue, and grey. Image courtesy of Roller Rabbit.
These Roller Rabbit Pajamas feature the original, cult classic Hathi print pattern that alternates and repeats throughout the outfit. The PJs are made from the brand’s super soft and breathable cotton. These jammies are perfect for relaxing and unwinding after a long day thanks to their elastic waistband and smooth flatlock seams. You can find these PJs in sizes P through XL.
Roller Rabbit Originals: Kids Disco Hearts Pajamas
Another one of the brand’s classic designs, this one is only available in the rainbow color pattern. Image courtesy of Roller Rabbit.
Thes PJs feature Roller Rabbit’s original heart print pattern with a rainbow color scheme. This cute and colorful design is perfect for your little girl’s next pajama party and the brand’s premium cotton will keep her warm and comfy all night long. This set comes in two pieces, a shirt, and pants. It is available in sizes for children 12-18 months old and sizes 2-14 for kids. This item runs small so consider sizing up.
This matching two-piece pajama set is only available in one color pattern, blue. Image courtesy of Roller Rabbit.
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These PJs use the classic Roller Rabbit Monkey Print design. The bottoms of this set have a drawstring for the waistline and also include pockets! The entire set is made from the brand’s premium cotton so you know they’ll keep you warm even on those cold winter nights. The pattern print is cute but cool with monkeys holding bananas. Pick up a matching set for you and the kids, or even the whole family. Available in sizes XS through XXL.
Roller Rabbit’s Bedding/Home Collection
Roller Rabbit has a wide range of products for decorating the home. This includes:
Quilts
Duvets
Covers
Decorative Pillows
Sleep Over Bags
Sheets
Pillow Cases
If you’re looking to redecorate your home’s furniture or make the perfect bed, Roller Rabbit has everything you’ll need.
Roller Rabbit Originals: Big Cata Quilt
This large quilt is only available in one color pattern, blue. Image courtesy of Roller Rabbit.
This quilt features one of Roller Rabbits’ original design patterns, the Big Catta Quilt pattern. This pattern is simple yet stylish and adds a bit of extra charm to anything it’s laid out on. The quilt is double sided so you can see the design no matter what angle you looking at it from. The quilt is available in three sizes, twin, full/queen, and king. The quilt is lightweight, soft, and warm, making it the perfect item for any master or guest bedroom.
Common Questions About The Roller Rabbit Brand
Why are Roller Rabbit products so expensive?: Roller Rabbit makes their products from 100% premium cotton, which makes them feel softer and last longer. Also, the patterns from these products come from designers all across the world so they are very unique.
When does Roller Rabbit restock?: The brand does its best to restock items as quickly as possible while also ensuring high-quality products. In situations like this, it’s important to remember that old saying, “Good things come to those who wait.”
Does Roller Rabbit have sales?: Yes! In fact, the brand has an entire page dedicated to items that are on sale on its official store page. These sales extend to all items the brand produces, including their dresses and purses. The brand also does holiday and event sales throughout the year so check back periodically!
If you want to learn more about the brand’s printing style or how to best take care of their products, check out the brand’s FAQ page.
Conclusion
Roller Rabbit is certainly a unique brand with an interesting history. It’s actually really nice to find a brand that focuses on making family-friendly clothes and accessories, while also selling stuff for the house’s furniture. It definitely gives them their own identity, and in the fashion world that is probably the most important thing to have if you want to be successful.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails(1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
Love is mentioned somewhere between 360-550 times in the Bible, depending on which translation you dig into. Friend, that is a lot of love!
Maybe it is mentioned so often because we have a God that is the pure image of love. All throughout His Word, we see His love poured out and lavished upon us.
From the beginning of His creation to His countless promises, unfailing grace and mercy, and even His righteous discipline. God’s love is proven by the attention He gives to every single detail of our lives.
God’s love comes with no strings attached. It is completely unconditional. It’s perfect in every sense. God’s love is the core and heart of the gospel. 1 Corinthians gives us a glimpse into the kind of love God has for us and asks us to share this kind of love with others.
Paul’s first letter to the church of Corinth was to challenge believers to examine their lives against the image of Christ. He especially placed a lot of focus on love — Christ’s love. His mission was to unify the church and bring them together in fellowship.
At the time, the church gatherings were a little chaotic and disorganized. While their mission was to share the good news, they were focused more on being heard and becoming prideful rather than delivering and dispensing their knowledge in love.
So, it is not by accident that this chapter on love is perfectly sandwiched between two passages on spiritual gifts.
Paul was encouraging the church to use their knowledge of Christ and spiritual gifts to spread the love of Christ, but to do so — in love. Basically, saying you can do all the right things, but if you don’t have love, you have nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2-3).
The underlying meaning of 1 Corinthians 13 is that as followers, we are to imitate the love of Jesus by using our gifts while serving and loving others just as He did!
So, how do we do that? That is where the well-known and beloved verse of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 comes in. If we are called to share the love of Christ, we must first understand how He loved.
Characteristics of Love
While many of the characteristics listed below are self-explanatory, we must view them through the lens of Christ. Also note that these characteristics of love may be easy to say, much harder to actually live out. Let’s discover them together.
1. Love is patient and kind. Patience is not an easy virtue to maintain in our everyday lives. Whether it is an eye roll from my teen or a snarky remark from a neighbor, impatience can quickly set in, leaving a reaction that is short of being kind.
Yet, we are called to be just that. Patient and kind. If we want to share the love of Christ with others, we must do so in a gentle way, with a patient approach.
Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage — with great patience and careful instruction (2 Timothy 4:2).
2. It does not boast. We see a contrast at this point in the verse. While love is patient and kind, now we hear what it is not. Love is not boastful or self-seeking. Yet, how often do we like to pride ourselves in the good we are doing with selfish intentions?
Unfortunately, selfishness is part of our human nature. We want to be heard, to be liked, and recognized for our good deeds.
However, this verse completely flips that train of thought around. As believers, we are to place ourselves aside and magnify the needs of others.
Not only that, but we are to boast only in our Lord, recognizing that He is the One that is using every circumstance for good.
This is why our testimonies are vital, as we get to share how God is so good and faithful.
Not only so, but wealso glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us(Romans 5:3-5).
3. It keeps no record of wrongs. The infamous scoreboard between two passionate people is nothing new. We see how the disciples doubted, denied, and betrayed Jesus, comparing their love for Him against one another.
Yet while Jesus may have been hurt by these actions, he forgave them and never spoke of it again. He never kept score.
We are called to do the same. Freely forgive and then…let it go. As followers of Christ, we should heed Jesus’ example. When the scoreboard wants to come out, we must take our hurt to our Father and let Him cleanse our hearts first while seeking His wisdom and guidance.
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked (Luke 6:35).
4. It is a truth seeker.Love seeks out the truth. The real Truth. As we are bombarded with countless views, logic, and data by our culture and society today, we can ingest multiple mixed messages and grow confused about what is actually true. It’s quite possible that we need Truth now more than ever!
The Truth we find in His Word is solid and stands firm. We can find the evidence that God’s Holy Word is based on Truth, and the heart of it is love by holding on to these facts:
With all the various writers of the 66 books in the Bible, they all share one message: there is one true God, and He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to redeem this lost and fallen world.
We see can see the handiwork of a Creator all around us.
Prophecies that were foretold came to be.
Those that earnestly seek God through prayer and praise live with unexplainable peace.
We are offered hope of a life after this one.
But he continued, ‘You are from below; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world (John 8:23).
Why Is it so Popular?
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13).
The entirety of 1 Corinthians 13 is widely popular because the whole book revolves around love. The greatest gift we can ever give and receive. The gift that God gave us through His Son, declaring His indescribable love for us.
We were created with love and in the image of love. We are called to use our spiritual gifts to love and share God’s love with others.
Love is the intriguing word that never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8). Love is the powerful word that defeats all odds and gives us hope. Love is to be fully known and fully loved (1 Corinthians 13:12). Love is the heart of God’s Word.
Alicia Searl is a devotional author, blogger, and speaker that is passionate about pouring out her heart and pointing ladies of all ages back to Jesus. She has an education background and master’s in literacy. Her favorite people call her Mom, which is why much of her time is spent cheering them on at a softball game or dance class. She is married to her heartthrob (a tall, spiky-haired blond) who can whip up a mean latte. She sips that goodness while writing her heart on a page while her puppy licks her feet. Visit her website at aliciasearl.com and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.
When two people marry, they take vows to love, honor, and cherish each other. When they buy a house, those same vows apply. Although they don’t re-recite those vows in front of friends and family, they still commit to honor themselves and their relationship by being good stewards of what God has given them. We often think of worshipping God in large, generous acts. But sometimes, it’s the small acts of service to our partner that also demonstrate our love for God. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”
However, when stressful situations arise, it is easy to drop the ball on simple household tasks. If one partner tends to take the lead on completing household chores, it’s easy for the other partner to sit back and watch them do it. However, this is an act of laziness and not maintaining the possessions God has given them. Most people dislike doing household chores, but they are a necessary part of life. They aren’t only one person’s responsibility, but the other spouse’s as well.
Here are six reasons a couple should share household responsibilities:
1. There Are Not Gender-specific Chores
Gone are the days when women stayed in the kitchen and cared for the kids while the husband did outside chores and brought home the main paycheck. In today’s society, both men and women work to bring home a paycheck as well as raise their children. Therefore, if both are working and equally distribute every other aspect of their lives, it’s only fair that they equally distribute their chores. This not only helps both parties complete their tasks with ease but also promotes equality; each party has an equal share in labor. There’s no reason a woman can’t take out the trash and a man can’t do a load of dishes. If everyone works together in an equal distribution of labor, the chores get done, and there’s more time to spend with the people you love.
2. It’s a Way to Honor the Relationship
In the marriage vows, you committed yourselves to love, honor, and cherish each other within the relationship. One way to honor each other is to do the household chores. When one partner has a stressful week, it is comforting to know that the other partner has taken care of cooking the meals, doing the dishes, and cleaning the bathrooms. Although these may seem insignificant, the small acts may add up to significant acts of honor within your relationship. When you go the extra mile and do chores, especially without being asked or doing the other person’s chores, it demonstrates you put your relationship above your pride.
Doing more than what is expected shows you honor your spouse and put them first above anything else. Matthew 5:38-42 says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”
3. It’s an Act of Service
Dr. Gary Chapman, in the book The Five Love Languages, explains that each person gives and receives love differently. There are five ways people give and receive love: quality time, acts of service, physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation. By doing what is expected, you demonstrate to your partner that you value your relationship. When you go above and beyond, it demonstrates an act of service that communicates great love to them. Even if they don’t reciprocate by telling them how much they appreciated you, continuous little acts like this will demonstrate how much you love them.
4. No One Person Is Responsible for All the Mess
When one partner leaves the other to do all the chores, it communicates that it’s their job. Even if the partner states they’re helping out around the house, it implies that it’s the other person’s job and that you are lowering yourself to help them in a time of need. But no one person is responsible for all the mess. While it sounds nice to have each person clean up after themselves, it is best to simply humble yourself and clean up on behalf of yourself and the other partner. This is a way to give 100 percent of yourself to your relationship.
5. It’s an Act of Worship
As Christians, we demonstrate our worship for God through regular church attendance, reading the Word, and prayer. But have you ever considered that doing chores is an act of worship? When you complete household tasks, you are being a good steward of what God has given you. Whether you rent an apartment or own a home, it demonstrates that you appreciate what God has given you. Everything is the Lord’s, yet he is kind enough to provide the essentials and meet our every need. By keeping things clean, we demonstrate that we honor God and our possessions. When we do our best to maintain them and keep them in optimal shape, we actively thank God for his gifts. This not only means maintaining regular weekly chores but also keeping up with household repairs and completing home improvements as necessary. When we keep our home clean, we not only honor our relationship, but we also honor God in the process.
6. It Sets an Example
By doing household chores, it demonstrates to the other partner that you love and care for them. If the couple has children, this is even more important. Children live what they learn. If they see parents equally doing chores, it teaches them that there are not certain roles for each partner. Kids should be taught from a young age the concept of stewardship by completing household tasks as well. Brainstorm age-appropriate chores for your child to practice each week with the family. This helps them understand they need to care for the gifts God has given them. It also teaches them not to take things for granted and to develop healthy habits for cleanliness, hygiene, and self-respect. We need to be examples in every area of our lives, and this includes household chores. It may seem small or insignificant, but when the children become adults, they understand that to be a part of a household, the house needs to be maintained. This understanding will be an incredible benefit to their future spouse and children.
Household chores are not fun to complete but are a necessary part of life. They may be daunting to maintain, but each partner can sit back and enjoy the beauty of their home when they are done. When you view completing household chores as an act of worship, it also sets the example for the next generation to be hard workers and take responsibility for the things they must maintain to have a healthy, well-rounded life.
Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor’s wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Who God Wants Me to Be encourages girls to discover God’s plan for their careers. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.
As we celebrate Valentine’s Day this month, love—or the idea of love—seems to reside at the forefront of our hearts in a prominent way. But what is real love? What is ‘convenient love’ (selfish lust)? And what is blended ‘love’ (abuse)?
This is what we know to be true about love:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
What Love Isn’t
Despite what culture tells us today, real love isn’t lust; it isn’t shallow feelings or selfish desires. In fact, real love isn’t selfish at all. It certainly isn’t abusive, thieving, or defiling in any way.
Currently, there are millions of oppressed, trafficked individuals (adults and children) being sexually exploited—many of them by their own family members—under the guise of ‘love.’ Not only is their innocence stolen from them, leaving them sullied and broken—but they are also left confused, believing they are put in this position because of ‘loyalty’ and ‘love.’
Others are groomed by “lover boy” personas who prey on young people looking for love. They’ll flatter and shower gifts on their prey, making commitments to care for them in a way no one else ever can. The naïve fall victim to these lies and soon find themselves trapped with no escape, the lover turned abuser and trafficker.
This isn’t love. This is utterly evil and disgusting, destroying their very identities.
-Sex Trafficking is a $99 billion dollar industry.
–Anywhere from 24 million-40 million people around the world are victimized by human trafficking at any given time.
–2 million children are taken and introduced into sex trafficking each year.
–91% of childhood sexual abuse victims report knowing their abuser.
–65% of traffickers are the mothers of victims; 32% are the fathers of victims.
–Many survivors report sexual abuse beginning between 3-4 years old.
–50% of human trafficking victims have been involved with child welfare systems or juvenile justice systems.
–80% of girls involved in human trafficking had been in the child welfare system in the past.
–The average age of children running away from home and entering into sex trafficking is 12-14 years old.
–Within 48 hours of running away, 1 out of 3 children are solicited for sex.
–Victims can be sold anywhere from 15-40 times every 24 hours.
But Jesus.
Though these numbers are overwhelmingly heartbreaking, we are left with hope. There is only One way and One power to save all people and redeem all situations.
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20
Real Love
“Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; uphold the rights of the afflicted and oppressed.” Psalm 82:3
Real love is loving others God’s way. It is fighting for those who cannot fight for themselves. We must stand up for these souls, taking the time to pray for those who are trafficked, defiled by their own family members, used for their bodies, or groomed down a pathway to settle for so much less. Real love is empowering others, valuing them higher than ourselves, advocating for the abused and oppressed, and sharing the Truth with everyone—offering true life, freedom, and joy.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3
If you want to see the story of Real love, read about the sacrifice Jesus made. He laid it all down and gave up His life so that we could have ours. He went low so that we could go high. That’s real love.
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
We must advocate for those who, in seeking love, ended up in abuse. We must help them hold onto the hope that one day they might know their true worth. Jesus is the only One who can truly set everyone free in the way they are designed. It is our job to fight for them, advocating on their behalf, seeing their value, and praying that deception is lifted and everyone sees their true value. And that all will walk in the freedom, the power, and the destiny in which they were knitted together in their mother’s womb. Jesus does hear the cries of these people, cares for them deeply and desires for them to know His heart. He is love—real love—and he will show the way.
“The Lord says, ‘I have seen violence done to the helpless. I have heard the groans of the oppressed. I will rise up to rescue them.’” Psalm 12:5
Not only must we advocate, but where possible, we must educate, so our young people won’t fall victim to the lies of the enemy. Our organization, The Foundation United, provides Speak UP curriculum for schools, REAL TALK for churches, and “The Cool Aunt Series” with Rachel Thomas for families to use at home. It will take all of us working together to protect our children’s future and help them understand what real love is.
And if you find yourself alone this Valentine’s Day, be at peace. It is far better to be alone and wait for true love than to settle for something less than, and even worse, something masquerading as love. Hold out for someone who will value you as worthy beyond price – this is the ultimate model, and God has shown us the way.
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” 1 John 3:16
Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good is the founder and CEO ofThe Foundation United, a catalytic platform to end sexual exploitation and trafficking through systemic change. Fisher Good is a passionate pioneer and inspirational thought leader with a desire to expose the root issue behind sex trafficking — childhood sexual abuse. Her book “Groomed” (HarperCollins, 2020) recounts her own story of loss, abuse, and triumph. Statistics and resources quoted above can be accessed at https://www.thefoundationunited.com/statsandresources.
