What is relationship OCD? Do you have relationship OCD? This easy quiz, consisting of just seven questions, will help you understand about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in relationships.
Counselor Avantika explains, “A person dealing with OCD in a relationship keeps doubting their relationship by considering the equation as flawed and uncertain. People with ROCD carry false assumptions in their minds, which are based on little to no evidence.
“It makes them believe that their relationship with their partner is unsound. These false assumptions are driven by obsessive-compulsive behavior patterns that include intrusive thoughts about relationships, major insecurity issues, the act of doubting their partner and the relationship, and the need for perfection in a relationship or partner.” Take this quick relationship OCD test to know more.
If you are suffering from OCD in relationships, you can also join a support group to share your experience and hear other people talk about their battle with Relationship OCD. Or you can reach out to Bonobology’s panel of licensed and experienced therapists. They are only a click away.
Love cannot be driven away by boundaries or age in this regard! There is no rule which states that the tingling sensation experienced when you start dating can only be felt by youngsters. Dating again at 50 is not a taboo topic. Instead, it is, in my opinion, the greatest gift you can give yourself if you are single. Let’s explore the dos and donts of dating in your 50s and ways to make the most of this magical experience.
How To Find Love After 50
There is a multitude of questions that circulate in your mind when you’re seeking relationships over 50. One of the most frequent queries by over 50 singles is how to find love after 50. Here is your guide to finding love in 3 easy steps.
Hang Out With Strangers
It’s time to present yourself out there. Interact with new people, especially at the places you like. This can increase your chances of meeting someone with your interests.
As the experts say, talking is the first phase of a relationship. You may not find love with the first person you chat with, but the stars will surely send someone for you.
Dating Sites
Current online dating site statistics reveal 44.2 million platform users in America alone. This opens a pool of potential dating options for you. Don’t go swiping right to every person you find attractive. Analyze the bio of candidates you find charming, check if they are interested in older people, and then approach them.
Revamp Your Style
It’s time to put on your cloak of temptation again. Revamp your wardrobe and put effort into looking your best before stepping out of the house. Don’t let your age hinder you. Get that fresh trim, wear clothes that fit well, demonstrate thoughtfulness, and don’t forget to wear your confidence before interacting with people. Let people know you’re back in the game with your style.
How To Make The Most Of Dating Experience Over 50
Entering the dating grounds after a long time can make the field seem alien to you. However, don’t forget that you’re someone who had played this game before and aced it.
Refrain from relying on conversations alone when you are going on a date. Instead of jumping to a romantic dinner, plan an activity you both can do before it. This could be sightseeing, a trip to the museum, shopping, or an activity you both take an interest in. This way, you both would have a lot to talk about, and the danger of conversations running dry will no longer loom over you.
Another thing you need to keep in mind is not to let any anxieties get to you. Yes, dating after 50 can seem scary, but trust your instincts, and you’ll find the partner you’re looking for.
The Pitfalls Of Senior Dating: What You Need To Know About Dating Over 50
For over 50 singles, both men and women alike, dating again can be a lot different than it was earlier. An easy way to surf through that wild mine is by knowing what you are looking for. Don’t rely on chance. Envisioning the partner you want and the attributes you are looking for can smoothen your dating process.
Moreover, you must keep a wary eye when finding love on online dating sites. Since older people are less familiar with technology, they are more prone to fall into online dating scams. Do not believe everything you see on such sites, as a lot of the information can be fake facts used to entice you. For instance, the author of the inspiring book 50 after 50, Maria Leonard Olsen, says: “My husband and I had been together for 25 years when we got divorced at age 50, and getting back into the dating scene felt strange. I found that some of the men I dated via online dating sites were not completely honest, like posting photos of themselves with full heads of hair when they had none. I actually don’t mind baldness, but I do mind a lack of honesty.”
The 5 Mistakes You Need To Avoid
Dating in your 50s is about letting your heart take control and giving love another chance. However, you can encounter a few stumbling blocks that rob the magic of dating again at 50. Here are 5 mistakes you must avoid to enjoy this experience to the fullest.
Assuming That Dating Is The Same As It Was When You Were Younger
Like other things around you, the criterion of dating, too, has changed with time. You can’t employ the same tactics and expect them to work for you. Relationships over 50 in the modern age are much simpler to handle if you remember to live in the moment.
Your teenage heartthrob jacket isn’t going to work at 50 for you. Nor is that revealing dress you wore at prom. No matter how badly you want to change it, you can’t alter your age. Thus, learn to embrace it and use it to your advantage.
Believing That All Men Or Women Your Age Are Interested In Dating You
While it is true that dating after 50 can be very exciting for you, there are boundaries you need to follow. Firstly, remember that it isn’t your teenage years all over again when everyone your age is searching for a partner. Most people your age might not even be single. Others might want some alone time. Don’t make up scenarios in your head, as that can lead to failed expectations which may lower your morale about dating in your 50s.
Don’t be Available For Everyone
Getting all that attention from potential suitors can be very appealing, even for mature singles. However, saying yes to every person who wants to take you out on a date can ultimately wear you out. Not everyone out there is worth your time. Thus, save yourself and your efforts for people you feel are worth your time.
Not Being Honest With Yourself And Others
Facts about yourself that you bury now will eventually come up later. By the time they do, your partner may be accustomed to seeing you in a particular light, and things can get ugly when they realize you have hidden things from them. Don’t be afraid to be completely honest about yourself. A person who genuinely loves you will never leave you despite your flaws.
Giving Up Too Soon
Constant efforts are a mandatory tool for relationships to work. Yes, there will be potholes along that road but make sure you are with someone who makes those potholes bearable. If you genuinely love them, don’t give up. Work through your problems and hold each other’s hand regardless of your problems. Remember that you will find the light at the end of every dark tunnel!
Conclusion
Love is the most beautiful feeling you can experience. Don’t be afraid to pursue love at any age. Trust me when I say this, you surely don’t want to be alone in your old age. Having a loving partner by your side makes everything much more colorful.
Hi, I’m Linda Bunnell. I’m a dating expert and writer who loves helping people find love.
What I love most about my work is helping people achieve happiness in their lives. I write articles about dating and relationships, currently writing for Hubpages, Elephanjournal, and Doulike. You can see the best work on my Twitter feed – @LinBunnell.
I am fascinated by people’s behavior and love exploring the intricacies of relationships. I believe everyone has a story to tell, and I love giving people a voice.
Silence is not always golden, you know. Especially when you would die to be talked to, to be heard, to have communication with your SO, and resolve conflicts in a healthy manner. But your partner decides to torture you instead by acting as if you do not exist. They make you doubt yourself. The rejection you feel forces you into giving in to your partner’s demands. Your partner gives you what is called the narcissist silent treatment, while you wonder what you did wrong.
What should you do when that happens? Should you bang your head against the wall that is their hollow chest and try to coax a word out of them? Or should you leave them alone, giving them exactly what they wanted, and allow yourself to be unfairly punished?
To understand this silent but blatant abuse it may help to go back to our conversation with clinical psychologist Devaleena Ghosh (M.Res, Manchester University), founder of Kornash: The Lifestyle Management School, who specializes in couple counseling and family therapy, on a narcissist partner’s behavior. Her insights can help us recognize what is narcissist’s silent treatment, the psychology behind the silent treatment, and techniques that can help you effectively respond to the silent treatment by a narcissist.
What Is Narcissist Silent Treatment?
It is not uncommon for couples to go silent on each other when feeling too overwhelmed to communicate. In such a scenario, silence is a coping technique or even an attempt at self-preservation. In fact, silence is often used by people for one of these three broad reasons:
To avoid communication or conflict: People sometimes opt for silence because they do not know what to say or wish to avoid conflict
To communicate something: People use passive aggressiveness to convey that they are upset because they do not know how to or do not wish to express it in words
To punish the receiver of silent treatment: Some people intentionally avoid speaking as a way of punishing the other person or trying to establish control over them or trying to manipulate them. This is where misbehavior crosses the line and becomes emotional abuse
People who use silence as a tool for control and manipulation do it to cause distress to the intended victim. Such people are clearly engaging in psychological torture and mental abuse. This abuser may either have been diagnosed with a narcissist personality disorder or shows narcissist tendencies, employing the silent treatment abuse in combination with other forms of abuse. This is narcissist silent treatment.
A narcissist decides to use silence as a passive-aggressive technique where they intentionally withhold any verbal communication with the victim. The victim in such cases often has an empath personality type. Sent down a guilt trip, they wonder if it was something they did to deserve the punishment. Devaleena says, “Given that guilt-tripping in relationships has all the elements of psychological manipulation, it is undoubtedly a form of abuse. What’s more worrying is that it is rampant, and often unrecognized.”
When the victim pleads to be talked to or to be engaged with, it gives the abuser a sense of control and power over the victim. At the same time, the silent treatment also helps the abuser evade confrontation, any personal responsibility and compromise, and the arduous task of conflict resolution.
Psychotherapist Gopa Khan (Masters in Counseling Psychology, M.Ed), who specializes in marriage & family counseling, says for the silent treatment, “It is like a parent/child or employer/employee relationship, where the parent/boss expects an apology for any perceived wrong by the child/employee. It’s a power play with no winners.”
So how can remaining silent become such a dangerous tool? This study on social rejection shows that “people became more susceptible to a persuasive attempt after being ostracized, compared with after being included.” This is the exact psychology on which silent treatment by a narcissist is based. We are social creatures after all. A victim, on feeling excluded or rejected by their partner, gets easily manipulated into giving in to whatever demands are made from them just to feel included again.
It is manipulation. And a need for control makes abusive narcissistic silent treatment different and more damaging than plain silence or even emotional withdrawal. Let us look into it further.
Silent treatment should not be confused with the idea of a time-out. People have various coping mechanisms when faced with confrontation. Taking some quiet time to find one’s mental balance before approaching conflict resolution is not only normal in a healthy relationship but also a productive practice. In that case, how do you differentiate between the abusive silent treatment and a healthy time-out?
Silent Treatment
Time Out
It is a destructive manipulative tactic meant to punish and cause distress to the other
It is a constructive technique meant to calm down and prepare yourself to resolve conflict
The decision to employ it is one-sided or unilateral with one person being the perpetrator and the other, the victim
Time-outs are mutually understood and agreed upon by both partners even if it is initiated by one partner
There is no sense of a time limit. The victim is left wondering when it will end
Time outs are time bound. Both partners have a sense of reassurance that it will end
The environment is quiet but the silence is laden with anxiousness, fear and a feeling of walking on eggshells
The silence in the environment is restorative and calming in nature
Ignoring your partner is different from taking some time in silence
Signs You Are Dealing With Narcissistic Silent Treatment Abuse
Even when you know one from the other, it can be tricky to differentiate silence from silent treatment, and both from narcissist silent treatment abuse. Because when it is happening to you, when all you want is to communicate, silence, no matter what kind, feels like a burden that is too heavy to carry and too complex to comprehend.
Research shows that both men and women employ silent treatment in a relationship to stop themselves or their partners from saying or doing something adverse. In a non-abusive relationship, the silent treatment takes the pattern of demand-withdraw interaction.
Demand-withdraw pattern: This research study says, “Demand-withdraw occurs between marital partners, in which one partner is the demander, seeking change, discussion, or the resolution of an issue; while the other partner is the withdrawer, seeking to end or avoid discussion of the issue”
While this pattern is unhealthy, the motivating factor is not manipulation and intentional harm. It is merely an ineffective coping mechanism. By contrast, in an abusive relationship, the intention is to provoke an action or a response from your partner or to manipulate their behavior.
To recognize if you are a victim of narcissistic abuse, you must learn to watch out for the red flags. Here are a few observations that may make it easy for you. People suffering from narcissism disorder will use the silent treatment in the following manner:
They will not ask you or tell you that they need a break or a time out
You will have no idea how long their silence will last
They will only cut you out and remain in contact with other people, often rubbing it in your face
They might refuse to even make eye contact or allow communication through other means such as phone calls, texts, notes, etc, completely emotionally stonewalling you
They will make you feel as if you are invisible or do not exist. This will feel like they are punishing you
They make demands that you need to fulfill if you want them to talk to you again
Other things worth observing are not what your abusive partner does but what kind of emotional response their action elicits in you. Victims of narcissist silent treatment abuse often express feeling the following:
You feel invisible. Like you do not exist for the other person
You feel forced to change your behavior
You feel like you are held at ransom and must do what is asked of you
Ostracism is a universally applied tactic of social control. Feeling ostracized by someone you love causes low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and even self-loathing
You are tired of feeling anxious and insecure, like at the edge of your seat all the time
You feel isolated and lonely
Narcissist discard can be extremely humiliating to bear
How To Deal with Narcissist Silent Treatment Abuse
If it has become clear to you that you have been a victim of narcissist rage in the form of silent-treatment, then next comes the part where you learn of the ways to counter it.
1. Don’t try to reason with a narcissist
By now we hope you have understood a narcissist’s psychology behind the silent treatment. What you are witnessing is part of the narcissist discard and silent treatment cycle where they “discard” a person they think is no longer useful for them after putting them through the narcissist abuse cycle of appreciation and depreciation. The narcissist’s goal is to again look for a victim for a fresh supply of ego-boosting.
Understanding this will help you see how narcissistic behavior is reflective of the mentally ill narcissist and not of you. You need this clarity when dealing with a manipulative person. Consultant psychologist Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology) spoke to us earlier on this. She said, “Don’t be reactive. Stop matching a narcissist’s blows with equal fervor. One of you has to be mature about the situation, so move ten steps away and don’t fall into the rabbit hole of arguing with a narcissist.”
Devaleena too suggests, “It’s very important to know which battles are worth fighting and which aren’t. If you are trying to fight with your narcissistic wife/husband to prove your point, you will end up being physically or emotionally wounded.” We now know that it may be utterly futile to reason with a narcissist.
There is a difference between not engaging with a narcissist and allowing yourself to be trampled over. Not arguing with a narcissist should not be misunderstood as bending over backward and taking the bullshit (excuse the word) they are dumping on you.
Devaleena says on the issue of boundaries with a narcissist spouse. “To be able to set healthy boundaries, you must establish with yourself what’s acceptable and what isn’t with regard to how other people treat you. How much disrespect is too much? Where do you draw the line? The sooner you answer these questions yourself, the sooner you’ll be able to communicate it.”
3. Be prepared for the consequences
If you are being pushed to your emotional limits, there should not be a doubt that you are in an abusive relationship. Take your time, but prepare yourself to walk out of this toxic relationship you find yourself in. Be prepared, you might even have to get a restraining order post-breakup or when you go no-contact with a narcissist.
Devaleena says, “When you’re married to a narcissist, it is very important to learn how to manage your expectations. Don’t confuse a narcissistic spouse with someone who keeps their promises, this person is going to hurt you consistently, often without even realizing it.”
Mental preparation will also give you the courage and strength to walk out and protect not only yourself but possibly your dependents and loved ones from a narcissist’s rage. Preparation will give you bargaining power when discussing boundaries with a toxic partner. This will help you enforce these boundaries and the consequences of stepping over them. Some ways of doing so are:
Ignore your narcissistic partner until they apologize
Block them and be unreachable
Stop talking to them, being nice to them, or being available to them when they misbehave
Walk out/cut off ties if that’s the last resort
Remember, no one, absolutely no one in this world is indispensable or irreplaceable. Do not be afraid to walk out of the relationship to protect yourself.
Taking care includes everything you can do to not only protect yourself from a narcissist’s direct wrath but also empower yourself. This will allow you to speak up for yourself when needed and not seem weak and vulnerable to a narcissist. Things you could do to build back your confidence are:
Journal to manage your emotions
Spend positive time with yourself by engaging in hobbies and travel
Additionally, you are going to need help and support from your family members and friends. made it pretty clear when speaking to us on life with a narcissistic spouse. Devaleena says, “Build your support system, your cheering squad, your own pack. It’s almost a necessity to have people around you who you can trust when you’re experiencing narcissistic marriage problems.”
5. Seek professional support
Ignoring silent treatment by a narcissist and maintaining your distance can be extremely difficult. Professional guidance can be invaluable for a person’s mental health when dealing with toxic people. Mind you, we do not recommend couples therapy to people in abusive relationships because an abusive relationship is not simply a “relationship that needs work”. We strongly believe that the onus of misbehavior and abuse lies with the abuser alone.
We do, however, believe that the person on the receiving end may benefit immensely from individual therapy. Therapy can help restore your lost confidence. It can make you see that you are not responsible for your partner’s misbehavior. It can assist you in recognizing your boundaries and empower you with tools to enforce them. Should you need that help, Bonobology’s panel of experts is here to help you.
Key Pointers
A narcissist’s goal is to exert power and control over their victim. For that, they often use the silent treatment.
Your narcissist spouse will ignore you completely to give you the silent treatment, withholding emotions and verbal communication, to punish you or make you feel guilty, or to pressurize you into giving to their demands
The narcissist abuse cycle includes repetitions of appreciation and depreciation of the victim and then the ultimate phenomenon of throwing away what is not needed anymore called the “narcissist discard”.
Simply ignoring the narcissist silent treatment is one of the most important steps in claiming back your power
It is also essential to lay down your boundaries, follow through with them, and be prepared to walk out of the relationship to protect yourself
Keep yourself safe from harm’s way. Verbal abuse and emotional manipulation and neglect can be traumatizing enough for the victim. But physical violence should be a strict no-go.
If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1.
For anonymous, confidential help, 24/7, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
FAQs
1. Why do people give silent treatment?
People give silent treatment for three reasons. They want to avoid confrontation, conflict, and communication. They wish to communicate that they are angry without having to say so in words. Or lastly, they give the silent treatment to “punish” the other person, intentionally causing them distress, or putting psychological pressure on them to manipulate them into doing something.
2. Is silent treatment abuse?
Yes, if the silent treatment is given to gain psychological power and control over someone, or to cause them pain and harm as a way of punishment, or to force someone into doing something, then it is a form of abuse.
3. How can a narcissist change?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is listed as a mental disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5). It is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, a sense of self-importance, and a lack of empathy. It is very difficult for a narcissist to change because they do not believe they are wrong and do not seek self-improvement.
4. Do narcissists return after several months of the silent treatment?
Yes. Many narcissists will return much earlier than several months of the silent treatment. The time could vary from days to weeks to months, depending on the narcissist. A narcissist will return whenever they start craving attention and feel the need for an empath to boost their ego. Narcissists feel entitled to the love, admiration, appreciation, and service of their partner who generally is an empath by nature.
5. What happens if you don’t reach out during the narcissist periods of the silent treatment?
If you don’t fall for the narcissist’s bluff, you take away their power and gain the upper hand. If you don’t reach out to them or plead with them to talk to you, if you don’t look fazed by their misbehavior, you take away the very power and control they are trying to hold over you. You render their powers useless, and in a way, force them to respect your boundaries and back off.
Love is a heady feeling that can make hours and days whizz past in the blink of an eye. Before you realize it, it’s time to pen down a special 1st-anniversary message for boyfriend. You have sailed the love boat all year long with your cozy snuggles, mushy talks, dreamy nights, and wistful mornings longing for more love. Cut to the present, it is that time of the year that is already giving you butterflies in your stomach, for it is soon going to be your first anniversary! You might choose to make it a grand celebration, or a humble one by spending quality time with each other, but what makes it an affair to remember is a heart-felt, endearing 1st-anniversary message for boyfriend.
Anniversary wishes like I Love You and Happy first anniversary are fine, but what’s new about them? Get creative and of course romantic (hey, it’s your 1st-anniversary!) and send a message for your boyfriend that will sweep him right off his feet. We have pulled a rabbit out of our hats with our list of 85 (yes, that’s the number of romantic ideas you’re about to have) short and long sweet anniversary messages for boyfriend to woo, wish, and win his heart all over again.
85 Romantic 1st Anniversary Messages For Boyfriend
Feeling bummed out thinking about what to write on that cute card you got for your relationship milestone? Happy anniversary my love is too basic. Instead, go for a funny anniversary message for boyfriend that will bring a smile to his face, or you can heat up the affair with a naughty and racy one. Take a cue from the list below for an avalanche of ideas for a happy 1st-anniversary message for boyfriend.
Funny 1st Anniversary Messages For Boyfriend
Partners who laugh together, stay together. So, tickle his funny bone with this list of witty and humorous messages on your anniversary. Chances are that he would be expecting you to be all love-struck and mushy, take him by surprise with a funny twist to your love. Use the right words to humor him with some fun and quirky wishes which he will remember for long.
1.‘On our 1st anniversary, I want you to know how much happiness and satisfaction I get from annoying the hell out of you. And I have no plans of stopping any time soon. Happy anniversary, my love!’ – Here’s to the joys of being a cute nag.
2.‘Behind every successful man is a loving partner. Without the guidance of their love, he would always sport messy hair and wear sloppy clothes. I am glad to have been that person for a year!’ – Because some truths can never be hidden.
3. ‘Cheers to all the times we have braved the rough patches and bumpy rides, just because you did not want to ask for directions! Happy anniversary my love’ – Not every time Lights will guide you home, sometimes we women do that too.
4. ‘I am so happy that our relationship has brimmed with love, care, and trust since the very first day. On our first anniversary, I would like to thank myself for all the efforts I’ve put in!’ – This funny anniversary text for boyfriend is sure to catch him off guard.
5. ‘Oh my god, did we just complete a year? And we are still together? Happy anniversary, I guess. Love you!’ – Surprising your bae on your first anniversary is passé, time to act surprised instead. Wink.
6. ‘Happy anniversary, boy! Today marks the first year of the best decision you’ve ever made. You are one lucky guy!’ – The perfect anniversary wish for boyfriend from someone who is self-obsessed and is not shy of flaunting it.
7.‘Happy anniversary to the boyfriend who still looks at me the way he looks at other women (or men)!‘ – All boyfriends are always guilty of this, we know. But do they know that we know? Now they sure do.
8. ‘Okay, so we’ve made it through a year without either of us ending up dead or in jail. I call that a reason to celebrate. Happy anniversary’-No matter which stage of a relationship you are in, this funny message will find him in good humor.
9. ‘Happy anniversary, sweetheart. I am not completely sick of you yet‘ – This short anniversary wish for boyfriend will surely make him chuckle with delight.
10. ‘Congratulations on having completed our first year together. Cheers to another year of suffering and misery, just kidding (or not). Happy anniversary!‘ – Just a funny reminder that all relationships go through ups and downs, and all you’ve got to do is to take it in your stride and enjoy every moment.
11. ‘Thinking of my life without you makes me think of a calmer life. But, damn, wouldn’t that be so boring? Happy anniversary!‘ – For all the adventurous moments in your relationship.
12. ‘Happy 1st anniversary from the reason you stayed in the relationship….You’re welcome!‘ – You are a person to keep, and you know it.
13.‘Happy anniversary. We’ve been through a lot since we first met and most of it was your fault‘ – The blame games that couples play have no end!
14. ‘Happy anniversary! I am surprised that we haven’t stabbed each other yet. XOXO‘ – Which couple doesn’t love to get embroiled in cute brawls?
15.‘So, um…you’re still around. Happy anniversary then!‘ – Annoy him with this anniversary wish and he wouldn’t stop wondering and chuckling.
Leave him in splits with funny 1st-anniversary messages for boyfriend
Romantic 1st Anniversary Messages For Boyfriend In Long Distance Relationship
It’s sad to think about your 1st-anniversary message for boyfriend in long distance relationship. You’d love to hug him and wish him personally, but he’s not around. E.E. Cummings rightly said, “Distance is just a test of how far love can travel. No matter how far you two are separated by geographical boundaries, it is your love for each other that holds you together.” Let your first anniversary wish for your boyfriend declare this whole-heartedly.
16. ‘This one year with you has been a blessing to my existence, you have filled me with peace and love. Happy anniversary to my source of happiness!‘ – Text this to your boyfriend on your special day to remind him of your love. Or write this on a handmade note that you’ve prepared with love. Take a photo and surprise him with it. Or say it in your own unique way, looking deep into his eyes – even if it is on a video call. Nothing can get more romantic than recalling so many wonderful memories you’ve had over the past year with your boyfriend
17. ‘Our love started with a hello, graduated to coffee, and at last, bloomed into I love you. From sending you those good morning and good night messages, everything has just become better and better. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us. Happy anniversary‘ -Nothing beats a personal message that comes straight from the heart. This will remind your boyfriend of the good old days when you started off as best friends, only to evolve into loyal and faithful partners
18. ‘Being with you is enough; it’s the best gift you can ever give me. I want to be by your side forever. Happy anniversary‘ – Your boyfriend is your biggest asset, and nothing can ever be compared to the love you have for each other
19. ‘Even though we are a thousand miles apart, you are forever in my heart. Happy anniversary, my love!‘ – A generous dose of romantic happy anniversary messages like these can make your long-distance relationship work better
20. ‘If I know what love is, it is because of you. Happy 1st anniversary!’ – When in doubt, drop a romantic quote that oozes love. We all tend to get tongue-tied at the wrong moments, that’s when you can seek solace (and the right expression of your love) in verse. This quote from Herman Hesse defines love beautifully and is one of the most clever ways to say I love you to your boyfriend
21. ‘Love is not about the number of days, months, or even years we have been together. Love is about how much we love each other with every passing day. And I promise to love you for years to come. Happy anniversary, my BFF!‘ – This is one of the best anniversary wishes for your knight in shining armor, expressing love that is not conditioned by time and distance
22. ‘I love you for the way you are, the way you let me be myself, and for all the other ways you make me feel special every day. May we continue to be this way for years, sailing in our little boat of love and joy. Happy anniversary!‘ – Long sweet anniversary message for boyfriend can powerfully deliver your feelings for him. This one coming from his blessed girlfriend is sure to make him swell up with deep affection
23. ‘As long as we share the same skies and breathe the same air, we are going to be together. Happy anniversary!‘ – No better way to define eternal love than this
24. ‘You are my today and all of my tomorrow. I hope we continue to be each other’s rock. Happy anniversary‘ -There is nothing better than a happy today that continues to be tomorrow
25. ‘Grow old with me, the best is yet to be’. Happy anniversary!‘ – This simple yet poignant quote by Robert Browning is enough to make his heart melt. Present him with any of the sentimental gifts for boyfriend and see him go all mushy
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Naughty 1st Anniversary Messages For Boyfriend
Let’s spice things up – not just in the bedroom, but in your texts to him as well. It’s time to get creative and raunchy. Come up with a short and sexy wish to text him that sets the mood for the night. Or drop it over voicemail in your seductive voice (just make sure he isn’t listening to it in his office!) Pick up any from these naughty happy anniversary messages and drop some suggestive hints to your loving boyfriend, wink! There is no better way to kickstart your anniversary than sending some spicy anniversary wishes for boyfriend to celebrate your blessed relationship.
26. ‘I will always be by your side. At times, under you, or on top, or on my knees. Happy first anniversary!‘ – Get his heart (and more) racing with this one and spice up your sex life
27. ‘Ours is a relationship where no one wears the pants. You know I love it when the pants come off. Happy anniversary!‘ – If this doesn’t drop hints for the night celebration, then what does?
28. ‘Honey, I did not get a gift for you on our first anniversary. How about you unwrap me instead?‘ – Let us warn you, he’ll jump at this suggestion. Make sure you’re ready to steal some special moments with your favorite human being
29. ‘I love you for your pure heart (but that dick is a huge bonus). Happy anniversary to the man with the best one‘ – Let this naughty thing tell him that you’re the luckiest woman to have found such an amazing boyfriend. Let him know how you want him and get him chasing you
30. ‘You are my sunshine and my rain. Because you make me hot and wet. Happy anniversary, my man!‘ – So, how’s the weather looking today? Wink!
31. ‘Our first anniversary together calls for an exotic, delicious dinner. Let’s eat each other up tonight‘ – We bet you’ll have a yummy anniversary
32. ‘On our 1st anniversary, I want to sit at my favorite place – your beard. Have a sexy anniversary!‘ -Okay, so this one goes all out to declare the celebration details
33. ‘Happy 1st anniversary to the man who makes me (and my dick/vagina) happy‘ – A very straightforward and short anniversary message for boyfriend
34. ‘Happy 1st anniversary! I love you from the bottom of my boobs. I wanted to say heart, but my boobs are bigger‘ -We are sure your boyfriend would delightfully agree with this
35. ‘Happy Anni_ersary, my BFF! (you’ll get the V later) or Happy Anniversary, _arling! (you’ll get the D later)‘ -This 1st anniversary message for boyfriend will make him want ‘it’ sooner
36. ‘Dearest boyfriend, this anniversary, I want to tell you how much I love you. I love every single bone in your body. But there’s this one that I am particularly fond of‘ – Well, chances are that he knows this already, but a little appreciation goes a ‘long’ way (pun intended)!
37. ‘Dear love, you’ve been such an amazing boyfriend! On our 1st anniversary, let me tell you I love fucking you. Oops. I mean…I fucking love you!‘ – Send him this dirty text message instead of the usual sugarcoated anniversary wishes
38. ‘It’s only been a year together, but I already think I’ll keep you forever. You really know how to use your gun‘ – Ah, the truth bomb
39. ‘On our first anniversary together, I just want you to stay happy, and a little bit naked‘ – Way to state your priorities
Express your love with these 1 st-anniversary messages for boyfriend
Short Anniversary Messages For Boyfriend
Keep it short, keep it simple. Choose an anniversary message for boyfriend that is short, yet profound. Having lived through so many wonderful memories with the passing year, it’s time to tell the world that you have been blessed with the best boyfriend, someone you can’t imagine life without. Send succinct heartfelt anniversary message to your man of few words who believes in acts of passion more than empty words. Make a mark with these powerhouses of 1st-anniversary messages for boyfriend.
40. ‘One year ago, you kissed me good night for the first time. And it has been a dreamy affair since then‘ -Let him know that he is your dream come true
41. ‘Best day of my life! Happy anniversary to you, my dear‘ – Keep it short, keep it simple; because feelings speak louder than words
42. ‘I love you every step of the way, and it is a long one going toward forever‘ -True relationships last forever and yours is one of them
43. ‘I am so totally, completely, passionately, overwhelmingly, life-changingly in love with you. Happy anniversary‘ – Express your feelings like never before
44. ‘Happy anniversary, love! This is all I want to do with you, forever‘ – An anniversary message for boyfriend that is unique and far from being cliched or cheesy
45. ‘The most wonderful thing I ever did was share my heart and love with you. And now, I want to share my life with you. Happy anniversary, honey‘ – What can be better than wanting to grow old with him?
46. ‘You will always be my forever. Happy 1st anniversary, love‘ – And the future looks so much brighter and better together
47. ‘Dear boyfriend, you complete me in every way. Happy anniversary, my best half‘ – Couples that complement each other, complete each other
48. ‘I need you like a heart needs a beat. Happy anniversary, my heartbeat‘ – This is also a great 1st-anniversary message for boyfriend in long distance relationship. You are distanced by location, yet inseparable
49. ‘You are the greatest gift of my life. Happy 1st anniversary, love‘ – Anniversary wishes that convey your feelings for him are the most apt
50. ‘Happy anniversary, sweetheart. You are the king of my heart‘ – Because he has conquered the territory of your heart and claimed it with love
Nothing spells love more than two lovers being adorable together. Being cute never goes out of fashion (or love!). Those endearing sweet-nothings that you whisper in his ears, your little love-smitten acts, or the cutesy quirks of your relationship–these are the cornerstones of your love. Pepper your special day with your same disarming charm that bewitches your boyfriend and make him fall for you over and over again. Be your cutest self, as you always are, and win him over.
51. ‘Even though forever is a long time, I would like to spend it by your side‘ – This cute 1st-anniversary message for boyfriend will make him go aww instantly
52. ‘I will never forget the moment I realized I love you. Happy anniversary, sweetheart‘ – Etch that special moment in your hearts forever with this lovely message
53. ‘Happy anniversary to the man who makes me laugh even when I don’t want to smile‘ – He will be smiling for sure when he reads this
54. ‘You are the only one I want to annoy for the rest of my life. Happy anniversary‘ – Pair it up with a nice 1st-year anniversary present and let the celebrations begin
55. ‘Love is being insane together. Let’s have an insanely amazing anniversary!‘ – And he’d be singing Love me insane
56. ‘Okay, a year has passed. Good thing you are not suffering from a deficiency of vitamin me. Have a large dosage today for a healthy anniversary‘ – For the love doctor prescribes plenty of you
57. ‘I love you more than chocolate. I’d rather dig into the chocolate boy that you are. Happy anniversary, my coco bunny‘ – Sweet and indulgent, just like chocolates
58. ‘Your hugs and kisses make me want to stay with you forever. It’s been a beautiful year being with you. I hope we stay like this for eternity‘ – Watch him shower you with more of such cuddles and kisses on reading this
59. ‘On our first anniversary, I just want you to know that I am never not thinking of you. Get out of my head, you hot lips, fuzzy butt, stud muffin!‘ – If calling your boyfriend nicknames is not cute, then what is?
60. ‘Loving you is like breathing; it comes naturally. And it will continue as long as I live. Happy 1st anniversary, my honeybunch‘ -Cutely innocent, passionately profound, isn’t it?
61. ‘On a day like this, I said yes to the most handsome and intelligent man in the world and it continues to be my best decision. Happy anniversary, Mr. Perfect!‘ – Happy relationships are perfect relationships
62. ‘Happy anniversary to the man who is my spark in the dark‘ – Your guiding light that illuminated your life deserves to be pampered and loved on this special day. Send him this heartfelt anniversary wish (pair it with a homemade anniversary gift, maybe?) and see his face light up
63. ‘You are the ketchup to my fries. Let’s stick together! Happy anniversary‘ – We all know how lethal a combo this one is, much like you two
64. ‘Whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same. Happy anniversary, my soulmate‘ – This quote by Emily Bronte is apt to express your feelings for your soulmate. Know more about the different types of soulmates and the signs of deep soul connection here
65. ‘My home is not a place, it is a person. And that person is you. Today, I celebrate a year of being at home‘ – Love can indeed give you the safest and coziest of homes
66. ‘I’ll love you even when you are old, wrinkly, and senile. Happy anniversary, my constant‘ – A 1st-anniversary message for boyfriend that promises you’ll stay together for years to come
67. ‘I am a little weird and so is my life. Your weirdness complements mine and together, we have been in this mutual weirdness called love for a year. Happy anniversary, my weirdo‘ – Such an amazing boyfriend as yours deserves a cutely weird wish that is sure to make him smile instantly
68. ‘Will you travel with me for the years to come? Happy anniversary to my travel partner for life‘ – How about surprising your boyfriend with a proposal like this on your anniversary? Unique, creative, and romantic to the core
69. ‘You have beautiful eyes. The ones anyone could get lost in. I guess I did too. Happy anniversary, my eye candy‘ – Trust this 1st-anniversary message for boyfriend to steal his heart with your love
Thoughtful Anniversary Messages For Boyfriend
The special day calls for an extra-special way to convey your love for him. A warm message from you will leave an indelible stamp on his heart. Well thought out and aptly worded messages can precisely sum up the intensity of your deeply felt emotions. Pick a thoughtful anniversary message for boyfriend from the list below. Say it to your man in person, looking straight into his eyes, and see the magic of love unfold.
70. ‘When love is true, it has no end. I hope we get to celebrate ours for years to come. Happy anniversary‘ – True love sees no end. Instead, it marks the beginning of life and happiness
71. ‘I never thought it was possible to love you any more than I did since the day I fell for you, but somehow my love only grows and expands. Happy anniversary‘ – An anniversary message that suggests how boundless your love for him is
72. ‘The good things in life become better with you. Happy anniversary, my best half!‘ – For his presence is enough to make an ordinary day sparkle
73. ‘In a world where so many things are uncertain, the only thing I am and will always be sure of, is you. Happy anniversary, my constant!‘ – You love each other madly, and today’s the day to express it
74. ‘It started with a dream of having a life together, and the dream keeps getting better with every passing day. Cheers to one year of loving each other!‘ – A happy 1st-anniversary message for boyfriend that will fill him to the brim with love and affection for you
75. ‘I have no words to describe the love I feel for you on our 1st anniversary – unwavering, tender, and boundless can only begin to sum it up‘ – Well, sometimes an affectionate anniversary wish like this can help you describe it
76. ‘Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that I will find you. You’ve made my dreams come true. Our relationship is everything I could have hoped for, and more. Happy anniversary!‘ – Write this special love message to your boyfriend and see how it lights him up, for he sure wants to make all your dreams come true
77. ‘I’ll always be in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying things that are true. Happy anniversary‘ – Trust this 1st-anniversary message for boyfriend to shoot directly into his heart with its straightforward declaration of integrity and love
78. ‘You are my best friend, my lover, and someone I’m proud to call my partner. Happy anniversary!‘ – Couldn’t come up with a DIY, homemade anniversary gift for him? Don’t worry! Send him this simple message with a well of emotions to express how you feel for him
79. ‘From romantic dates to cuddles on the couch, you’ve given me some of life’s sweetest memories. Here’s hoping to spend more such moments together. Happy anniversary!‘ – Reminiscing about fond memories on your anniversary will only make it more special
80. ‘Life with you is much happier and sweeter than it was before you came into my life. Happy anniversary, my sweetheart‘ – A happy 1st anniversary message for boyfriend to tell him how he has changed your world, for the better
81. ‘Falling in love is easy. What makes it all worthwhile is ‘staying’ in love. Together, we have been able to do just that. Happy anniversary!‘ – Your boyfriend will be enamored by this message that you have so thoughtfully come up with for him
82. ‘We met as different players in the game of life, joined our hands as a team, and are now hitting home runs together. Happy anniversary to my teammate!‘ – A thoughtful anniversary wish, especially for a sports lover. You both definitely make a winning team
83. ‘All that you are is all I will ever need. You make my world complete. Happy anniversary, my man‘ – Express your beautiful feelings for him and make him fall for you again
84. ‘The sound of the sea and the echo of our love share two things in common: they are both constant and eternal. Happy Anniversary!‘ – You are not just spending days together, you are preparing to stay together for a lifetime
85. ‘I love you, not just for what you are, but also for what I am when I am with you. I love you, not just for what you have made of yourself, but also for what you are making of me. Happy anniversary to the man who brings out the best in me!‘ – Profound, long sweet anniversary message for boyfriend will definitely strike a chord with him, strumming the strings of his heart
Your first anniversary calls for all the romance and mush. It is that day when you can be cheesy, lovey-dovey, and intimate with your partner to
Now that you have an idea, in fact an entire list, of romantic happy anniversary messages for your boyfriend, all you have to do is plan the perfect date night. Brainstorm a few surprises or date night ideas to sweep him off his feet. Top it up with a romantic anniversary message like the ones listed above, and see cupid strike once again.
Let’s face it, men and women are as different as chalk and cheese. What makes you tick as a woman may be the very thing that makes your husband’s skin crawl. It’s likely that your emotional needs may sound bizarre to your spouse and vice versa. Your job then is to seek to understand what floats your spouse’s boat – to learn their love language and speak it fluently.
In his book His Needs, Her Needs Willard F. Harley, Jr. opines that the inability to meet each other’s emotional needs stems from ignorance of the said needs and not a selfish unwillingness to be considerate. This means that unless you have intentionally studied and interrogated your spouse, you are bound to act in a way that irks them without realizing it. As a wife, here are six ways you may be unknowingly hurting your husband.
1. Criticizing and Mothering Him
As a wife, perhaps you relish your role as mother hen down to a T. You bask in the privilege of ruling the roost. But. Do you bundle up your husband alongside your kids as you issue directives? Do you often redirect, criticize, correct, disapprove, and even oppose your husband? Many wives fall into the trap of mothering their husbands. They are always poking holes into their husbands’ opinions and actions and seeking to steer them in a different direction.
This makes their husbands feel belittled, disrespected, and controlled. This may also chip away at their self-esteem, injure trust and make them bitter and angry. Mothering your husband also causes him to get defensive and retract into his shell. This, however, does not mean that you cannot hold a different opinion from your husband. In marriage, conflict and personality differences are guaranteed. But as you air your opinion, do it respectfully and avoid attacking your husband’s character. Avoid sounding like his mother or as if you caught him with his hand in the cookie jar.
2. Giving Him the Silent Treatment
Joe barged into the living room, knackered to the bone, and felt awful that he had run late. His wife was nowhere in sight, so he ran upstairs to their bedroom and found her snuggled up in bed, reading a book. His attempt to greet and strike up a conversation with her hit the skids. She wouldn’t talk to him, leave alone look in his direction. He walked away feeling dejected, wondering what he had done wrong (besides getting home late).
It is not uncommon for wives to give their husbands the silent treatment when they are upset about something. This however is toxic, abusive, and unhealthy for any relationship. It takes two to tango, and it’s unfair to leave your husband groping in the dark, oblivious of their mistakes. Remember your husband is not a mind reader, and unless you communicate effectively, he cannot decode your frustration.
Psychologists say that people who use the silent treatment aim at exerting control over the other party in order to manipulate them. When you give your husband the silent treatment, they feel confused, frustrated, rejected, and hurt. You give them the impression that you don’t care about the health of your marriage, and it is entirely up to them to patch things up (albeit blindly). Giving the silent treatment also means that you are rejecting proper communication without which a marriage cannot thrive.
The scriptures brim over with the admonition for proper communication in relationships. In Amos 3:3, we read that two people cannot walk together unless they are agreed. This means that communication is the backbone of fruitful relationships. Additionally, Paul urged the Ephesian church not to let the sun go down on their anger (Ephesians 4:26). This means that they were to resolve any tiffs and scuffles among themselves swiftly.
Paul also asked believers to pursue peace with all people (Hebrews 12:14). Quite honestly, we are often keen on making amends with everyone else but our spouses. We want to hang on to grudges against our spouses, yet they are the most important people in our lives. If, as a wife, you are fond of giving your husband the silent treatment, choose to heed God’s instructions and embrace communication.
3. Showing Disinterest in Sexual Intimacy
Let’s face it; sex is a big deal to most men. It ranks high among their needs. On the flip side, most women need to feel emotionally connected to their husbands before they can think about intimacy. They need to sense affection and love first. Sex then becomes their way of expressing the deep connection they feel.
If a couple has not learned to cater to each other’s prime needs, there is usually an imbalance where sex is concerned. The wife may often be uninterested in intimacy, whereas the husband may seem desperate for the same. When a husband feels like he is begging his wife for sex, it injures his confidence and self-esteem. Men want to know that they are needed and that their wives view them as good lovers. With the wife showing disinterest, they feel small and incompetent, and this causes them untold pain.
If you feel disinterested in sexual intimacy as a wife, aim to get to the root of the problem. Let your husband know how he can help you rekindle your interest.
4. Comparing Him
“Jane’s husband never misses his kids’ school meetings. I wish you were like him!” Sally blurted out at her husband in a moment of fury. In return, Steve was gutted. He felt worthless and unappreciated. He toiled hard at work daily to ensure his family was sufficiently provided for. “Doesn’t she appreciate my efforts?” he wondered to himself.
Stacking your husband against other people is another sure way of hurting him. Your husband feels rejected and frustrated. Besides, comparing your husband lures you into forgetting their good attributes as you zoom into their weaknesses. This is outrightly unfair as you, too, have weaknesses, and we bet you would not like it if your husband compared you to other ladies.
5. Not Admiring and Appreciating Him
Did you know that most men thrive on admiration, and it means the world to them when it comes from their wives? Honest admiration for your husband will boost his confidence and motivate him to take on the world. Men are competitive and tend to derive their worth from what they do. They, therefore, need to know that their wives notice and admire how they exert themselves for their families. They constantly need a pat on the back.
When you don’t appreciate your husband and applaud his achievements, he feels frustrated and may gradually lose the zeal to put his best foot forward. As such, aim to be your husband’s number one fan and watch him spread his wings further.
6. Nagging Him
So you asked your husband to get the leaky faucet fixed last weekend, and he hasn’t gotten around to it. Do you make it your mission to badger him until he gets it done? Here’s the truth, men all over the globe detest being nagged. Nagging is persistently annoying or finding fault with someone. It happens when the person nagging doesn’t believe the other party has good intentions or is capable of doing a task effectively. It reflects poor communication and impatience by the person nagging.
Women are more likely to nag because they are primarily responsible for running the home. In their quest to rule the roost, they end up trying to control their children and husbands. This, however, is counterproductive as nagging is very repulsive to men. The wise king Solomon noted that it was better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman (Proverbs 21:9).
Nagging your husband makes him want to flee in search of peace. You should instead embrace proper communication and trust that your husband has good intentions. Ditch nagging and communicate with your husband respectfully.
Keren Kanyago is a freelance writer and blogger at Parenting Spring. As a wife and mom, she uses her blog to weigh in on pertinent issues around parenting, marriage, and the Christian Faith. She holds a degree in mass communication with a specialty in print media. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram and/or shoot her an email at kerenkanyago@gmail.com.
When we finally meet someone we connect with and feel intense attraction for, we’ll often shift into a mindset of “This person is amazing and I need to do everything I can to keep them!”
In today’s new video, I share very specific principles that will be useful the next time you feel like you’re getting carried away with someone you like. And remember, no one (including yourself!) should make you feel like you’re “not enough.”
Invest in Yourself & Finally Believe in Your Own Worth. Learn More About The Matthew Hussey Virtual Retreat . . . TAP HERE
Matthew:
I wanted to talk today about one of the most common mistakes that we make when we are really excited about someone, we’re attracted, and we want to bring them closer to us. We want to turn it into something lasting. And maybe we feel like that person is either a little bit out of reach or we feel like we’re not entirely sure of how they feel about us, and we find ourselves investing more and more in them to try to secure the relationship. In the process, what happens is the things that are important in our life right now, whether it’s our friends, our family, our hobbies, the things that give us a sense of value and identity in our lives, those things start to fade into the background as we make this person the focus of all of our attention. Why do we do this? Well, when we really want to find love and we suddenly meet someone who seems to epitomize everything we’ve been looking for, we’ve decided, based on this person’s qualities, characteristics, what they look like, how they act, that this is the love we’ve been looking for.
All of a sudden it feels like there is nothing more important in the world than securing this thing, and we do the one thing in this moment that is the opposite of what we should be doing. We should be grounding ourselves in the things that are important in our own life, connecting to these things that give us a sense of worth outside of a person. And yet we lose connection with all of those things, and we get drawn into the gravitational pull of how do I please this person? How do I make this person mine? How do I make them want me? That instinct to try harder when we want to get someone is actually an instinct that works against us. Because someone doesn’t become more attracted to us or want us more simply because we are trying harder.
When they feel us trying harder, and for some people it makes them kind of pull away a bit or it makes them feel like they can pick us up and put us down whenever they want. It makes them feel like they’re in control the whole time, it makes us even more anxious and then we drift even further from these other things that matter in our life in an attempt to double down on the energy that we’re putting into this person. There’s a story that Mark Manson talks about in his book, The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck, and he tells this story of a guy called David Mustaine who got kicked out of the band Metallica, and went on to start the band Megadeth, which was a hugely successful band. David Mustaine is seen as one of the most influential people in his genre and that band, Megadeth, went on to sell 25 million albums and tour the world several times, but he couldn’t get it out of his mind that he would never be successful, truly successful unless he was able to outdo what his old band Metallica was doing.
But Metallica were huge. They sold 125 million albums, and he really struggled with the chasm between where they were and where he perceived himself to be in his success. Mark Manson then compares this story to the story of Pete Best, a guy who was kicked out of the Beatles, but went on to marry and have kids and have a very happy life. A happy life that he described as only being possible because he got kicked out of the Beatles, and he wasn’t resentful for that. He was happy about it. He said, “Being kicked out of the Beatles brought me to the life that I now love.” Now, what Mark Manson points out is that the difference in why Pete Best was able to be happy in a way that David Mustaine wasn’t is because Pete Best valued different things.
And if we want to be happy, we have to learn to value the right things. Now, let’s take this back to the dating scenario. When we value more than anything else, the idea of finding a person to share our lives with and then we meet a person who represents that dream in the flesh, all of a sudden we’ll do anything to make that happen, even if it means losing or ignoring all of these other important parts of our life. And of course, when we ignore certain things, we lose connection to them and they don’t feel as significant anymore. And of course when we divest in them, they start to shrink because they’re not getting love and attention from us anymore. What we have to do, which is very counterintuitive when we find something we really want, is double down on the meaning that we get from these other areas of our life.
Whether it’s your hobbies, your passions, your friends, your family, the ways you love spending your time, the books you love reading, the things you love to do, the things you love to learn about, your purpose. Those things are the things that, if you value them, will not only bring you a sense of perspective in your life where you go, “Oh, my life is so much bigger than this one area.” Of course I would love for this person to reciprocate and I’d love for it to go somewhere, but if it doesn’t, I have a big, rich life. These things are incredibly important to me, and I have those to fall back on. If we do that, it’s like having legs under the table. I want you to imagine that, here’s your confidence. It’s like a tabletop, and that tabletop is supported by these pillars or legs under the table, and each one of those legs is a different part of your life that gives you strength, that gives you meaning, that gives you purpose, that gives you love.
Now, those are all the things that when we meet someone, we want to come with those legs already strong under the table. We never want to meet someone and either A, not have them, or B, suddenly decide that the legs under the table we do have aren’t important anymore because we found this one really important leg. So at the very time that we feel like we found the dream person, that’s when we have to double down on the areas of our life that support the table. Because when that happens, we’re able to go into that situation as someone’s equal, knowing that if it doesn’t work out, I’m good. I’ve got legs under the table, right? You can break. I’ve got more legs under the table. I don’t need to beg. I don’t need to try harder than is reasonable. I don’t need to keep chasing you.
I’m just going to bring you my best, show you this wonderful life I’ve created, and if that’s not enough for you, and if you don’t give me enough, I don’t need this. I like to think of confidence the same way we think of F you money. When we think of someone who has F you money, what we really describe there is someone who has so much money that they can say no to anything that isn’t right for them. Well, I like to think of F you confidence. F you confidence is when you have so many sturdy legs supporting the table of your confidence that if someone comes along that isn’t right for you, either because they treat you badly or because they don’t invest in you, or they show that they’re not sure of you or because you are not sure of them, you are able to say, “No, thank you. I’m good.”
Because you have so many other things in your life that give you meaning and richness and love and importance. You don’t need that person. No matter how sexy they may be, however hot they may be, or successful, or high status, you know that nothing could be so sexy that it becomes the most important thing in your life to the detriment of everything else. You could be sexy and still be wrong for me. And real confidence isn’t the ability to say no to things you don’t want. Real confidence is the ability to say no to things you do want when they’re not right for you. So here’s my message to you this week. If you meet someone who is attractive and they also represent the hope of adding a leg to the table that is really important, one that you want to add to the table, do the counterintuitive thing.
Keep investing in these other parts of your life that give you F you confidence, that give you the sense that you can say no at any point. If this person isn’t right for you, if they’re not treating you the way that you want to be treated, or if they’re not giving you much energy, they don’t have to be behaving badly, they might just be not giving you much energy, and you realize this isn’t enough. What this person is giving me isn’t enough for me to keep going. Just because someone impressive comes into your life, it doesn’t mean that your world isn’t important. It doesn’t mean that who you are isn’t important. It doesn’t even matter if someone comes into your life and they’ve achieved more than you externally in the tangible results they’ve gotten. They earn more money than you, or they achieved a certain level of status that you didn’t, whatever it may be. Or even that you just think that they’re better looking than you are, right?
Sometimes in life, we come across people like that. We feel like, well, they’re much better looking than me. When you come across someone like that, you can never, ever let it diminish how much of a difference you make in your own life. If all you did was look after your sick brother and that was what you did for your life, you still have a big, rich life that’s important. It’s yours. It’s not less important than this person’s over here that you’ve decided is really impressive and you want to attract. And if you can stay connected to how important your life is, to how important your world is, to the difference you make, even in your immediate sphere of influence, even in your own local way, even in your family. If you stay connected to that, no one can come along and intimidate you. No one can come along and make you feel like you’re not enough or you have to work particularly hard to get their attention because they’re hot shit and you are not.
Stay connected to what is valuable in your life, in your world, about yourself. And then you’ll always be coming to someone as their equal, no matter what the differences are in your lives. And like I said, the way that you do that is at the time when you feel like you want to give up everything else because it’s no longer important now that I found this love, at that time, that’s exactly the time where you have to double down on the things you love, alongside falling for the person in front of you. Investing in yourself is something that makes this a reality. You can watch a video like this and it can give you a sense of, wow, that is really important. And I’ve made that mistake in the past. I’ve got lost in a relationship. I’ve allowed myself to be consumed by someone else.
I have, in the moment. I started liking someone, immediately started undervaluing myself and my life and what I bring to the table. If you’ve been in that position, you know it’s about more than watching a video. What you have to do is train those muscles in your life, invest in yourself, and the investment you make in yourself is the greatest investment you’ll ever make. Because people in life come and go. There’s no guarantee that the person you start dating now, that you fall in love with is still going to be in your life later on, but you’ll still be in your life later on. Any investment you make in yourself is an investment that pays off for the rest of your life. Warren Buffet was asked, “What’s the greatest investment you’ve ever made?” And he said, “The investment I make in myself. When I’ve made investments in myself, those are the ones that pay dividends forever.”
Because no matter what situation you show up to, you bring yourself to that situation. So I want you to invest in you, and this year I have an experience that you can do with me that represents the ultimate investment in yourself. We’re going to do it in June, from the 2nd to the 4th. We’re going to spend three days together and we are going to immerse ourselves in the world of self-growth so that whatever situation you come into contact with, whatever person you meet, you always feel like you’re enough. You always feel like someone’s equal. And when you carry that energy, that F you confidence, that’s exactly the kind of energy that makes someone look at you and say, “This person’s got something, and I want to be around it.”
This event is called the Virtual Retreat, and I want to invite you to come and be a part of it with me. And by the way, there is a ticket right now called the Self-Care Special Ticket, which is only available until March 12th. It’s $100 off, has a live Q&A with me before the event, and it has a access to a masterclass called the Daily Momentum Formula that I did where I give you my formula for having an amazing day every day. So come grab that before March 12th at MHVirtualRetreat.com. I can’t wait to see you there. If you haven’t acted yet, you already missed the early bird ticket that we had on offer. This is the next best thing. Do not miss it this round. I really hope you make it, and I look forward to seeing you in the next video.
Everything is smooth when you know what a guy wants. He either likes you or he doesn’t. The road after can be easily traveled. However, when a man is sketchy about his feelings toward you, it can make you feel anxious especially when you have fallen for him. Now, how to make a confused man want you? We’ve got some tricks up our sleeves that we’ll share with you in this article.
Not to pass a biased statement here, but men can be really confusing sometimes. They will act all lovey-dovey one day but the next day they are acting aloof and pretending as if they didn’t spend the entire day thinking about you. They will text you a lot when you’re not around but when you meet them, they’ll act like they are in a meeting. If you’re in a similar situation, we’re here to let you know how you can make a guy go crazy thinking about you and make him fall for you.
How Do You Tell If A Man Is Confused About You?
Before we dive into how to make a confused man want you, let’s find out some of the important signs he is confused so you don’t mistake his confusion for being ignorant or indifferent toward your feelings.
He avoids talking about the future with you but says he loves to spend quality time with you
He is always there to support you but doesn’t reveal his real feelings toward you
He hasn’t opened up to you emotionally or he hasn’t tried being vulnerable with you
He might like meeting your friends and family but doesn’t introduce you to his loved ones
He is caring in person but doesn’t indulge in public displays of affection because he doesn’t want people to find out you’re a “thing”
He hasn’t defined your relationship yet. Is it casual dating or has it transitioned to exclusive dating? Neither one of you knows
He sounds extremely excited to meet you but when you meet, he might act distant the whole time
How To Make A Confused Man Want You — 15 Tips
Not knowing what he wants can be really frustrating. But it’s more painful to experience hot-and-cold behavior from a man you really like. He isn’t communicating his feelings and he isn’t letting you go either. If you are dead set that this is the guy you want to be in a relationship with, then here are some tips on how to make a confused man want you:
1. Don’t chase him
Listen up! The more you chase him, the more he will run away from you. You chasing him will boost his ego and he will start to think that he deserves someone better than you. If he stood you up but called you to apologize, then act all nonchalant and pretend as if it didn’t bother you. Get him to chase you instead of you chasing him for attention and love.
Say things like, “Oh, that’s not a problem. I had to meet my friends right after that anyway.” It’s crucial to not chase him, so give him space. This will make him miss you a little. When he realizes your importance, he will be the one reaching out to you, and then you will be the one in control.
2. Make him smile
This is one of the things you can do when a guy is uncertain about you. If he is far away from you, then send him relatable memes to make him laugh. Tell him this meme reminded you of him. It will accomplish the following: a) He’ll know you’re thinking about him, b) It does the job of putting a smile on his face, c) He’ll see that you’re aware of what he likes or what he finds funny.
Here are some other things you can do to make him smile:
Send him random messages in the middle of the day. You have to sound thoughtful. Say something like, “I just sat down to have my lunch. Have you eaten yet?”
Get him flowers if you feel you’ve reached that stage in your dynamic. Believe me, even guys love to receive flowers
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3. Be curious about him
It’s important to know that there’s a thin line between being curious and poking your nose in his business. Ask questions about his childhood, his friends, and his work life. Don’t pry into his past relationships. Be more curious to get to know him as a person.
Ask about his likes and dislikes, his ambitions in life, and the things he is looking for in a partner. By asking questions and involving him in a meaningful conversation, you will be able to develop a deep connection with him. This is one of the ways to make a man think about you day and night.
Happiness isn’t just beautiful, it’s also attractive and sexy. Even research suggests positive people are attractive and that people are more likely to respond to, feel connected to, and remember the person who is pleasant and happy. Show this natural state of mind whenever he is around. You will come across as a happy-go-lucky person that he would want to have in his life. He will go back home and he will think about your laughter. He would want that joy in his life as well.
5. Give him the right amount of attention
Attention is key here — no less, no more than what’s required. Focus on him a little but not too much. When you make him the center of your attention, he will probably think you have nothing else to do. Don’t become a clingy girlfriend and come off as desperate.
Listen to everything he says and take it all in. Ask questions here and there but also check your phone once in a while during conversations. Take a sip of that drink and smile at other people around you when you are in a group setting. Don’t make the entire evening about him.
6. How to make a confused man want you? Be there for him
One of the ways to make a guy go crazy thinking about you is by being there for him when he wants someone to depend on. If he lost a loved one, then attend the funeral with him. If he is feeling low, let him know that he can cry it out with you. If he is stuck in a work crisis, help him out. Make him feel special by being there for him. He should know that he has a shoulder to lean on when he is down.
Relationships end, so that new ones can begin. If he had a traumatic past and is finding it difficult to trust people, make it known that you will never break his trust. He might be emotionally guarded and you have to be patient with him. If he shares his vulnerabilities with you, keep them safe.
It is quite difficult to win a guy who has trust issues. That’s why it’s crucial to give him some time. Once he warms up to you and opens up a little, he will go crazy about you and will want you in his life forever.
8. Touch him often
Not inappropriately or in a sexual way though! Physical touch is one of the types of love languages. Whenever the two of you are together, graze his arm slightly, or touch his back and face. You can also try to hold his hand. His confusion will be gone when he realizes how much he loves to be gently touched by you.
Studies have shown that non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, hugging, and touching releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is the same chemical that is released during an orgasm. Furthermore, physical affection also reduces stress by lowering our cortisol levels, which is the stress hormone.
9. Make him feel desired by complimenting him
Compliment what you find admirable about him. Don’t lie and make things up just to flatter him. Don’t overdo it and shower him with praises. Here are some general compliments you can give your guy to make him subconsciously want you:
You have such pretty eyes
I like the way you do your hair
You smell really good
You are very smart. I really like the way you think
You are a great listener
I feel lucky to have you in my life
You are so thoughtful and it shows that you have a good heart
10. Make him the hero of your life
When you are stuck in a difficult situation, make him your knight in the shining armor. This will trigger his hero instinct and he will get to know how important he is to you. All you have to do is make him the hero of your story. If you are in distress, call him and ask him for solutions to get out of your current jam. Thank him for his help once you are out of that situation. This is one of the sincere yet clever ways to get him to think about you.
11. Get to know the people who are special to him
Friends, family, and even his grandparents. Start by talking about them to him. Then ask him if he’s willing to introduce you to them. If he says yes, then his confusions are slowly melting away. He is becoming more sure about you. When you meet his closed ones, impress them and don’t forget to get some insights about him. They may even go and say good things about you to him.
If you want to make a man think about you day and night, then pay more attention to his and your body language. Don’t be closed off and make him think that you are not approachable. Show affection by hugging him whenever you meet him. Here are some other things to remember:
Laugh at his jokes and make eye contact with him often
If he is trying to hold your hand or your waist, don’t pull away (unless you’re uncomfortable, of course)
Mirror his actions. Research has found that we mirror the person we’re interested in. We copy their body language, speech, facial expressions, and more. So, if he is smiling, smile back. If he is laughing at something and you find it funny, you laugh as well
Be confident about how you look, speak, and behave in front of him
13. Surprise him once in a while
Surprises don’t have to be grand and extravagant. A surprise is executed to convey a simple message to the person you love: “You are precious.” Surprise him once in a while by cooking for him or buying him a little present. This is one of the ways to get him to think about you. Plan a picnic with him, or watch his favorite movie together. Find out what he loves and use it to your advantage. Does he love the beach? Take him to the beach. You can go to an aquarium if he loves the sea. Does he love Van Gogh? Take him to a museum.
14. Keep flirting with him
A new study has found that the reason many people are single is because they don’t know how to flirt or how to flirt back. If you really want to know how to make a confused man want you, then flirt with him. Flirting radiates positivity and it will allow him to know that you like him. If he flirts back, then you will know that his confusion is clearing away. You can also get a little flirty over text messages if you are down for it.
Remember this, though. His boundaries are important as well, so you need to be consensual and appropriate when you flirt with him. Listed below are some of the ways to flirt in order to make a guy go crazy thinking about you:
Talk about sex and relationships if he’s comfortable with that
Send him kiss and heart emojis
Disagree but maintain a happy vibe nonetheless – he would love your strong mind
Ask what he is doing later, you can be a little suggestive
If the conversation dies, try to rekindle it by sending your photo. No, not a nude
15. Tell him about your feelings
Once you’ve gone through the above steps, you’ve made him realize how important you are to him. It’s time to let him know your real feelings. If you’re a woman, don’t be under the notion that men always have to make the first move. In fact, men find it irresistible when the roles are reversed.
When asked on Reddit how men feel about women making the first move and confessing their feelings, a user shared, “Even if I wasn’t initially attracted to her, I’d probably become way more interested if she came up to me and made the first move. So ladies, shoot your shot. If nothing else, you get the satisfaction of knowing you made some guy’s day, even if a date or relationship didn’t come from it.”
When To Walk Away From A Confused Man
You tried your shot. You did everything you can to make him feel special, loved, and desired. When a guy is uncertain about you, it can take a little bit of time for him to acknowledge his feelings for you. However, if you have put your life on hold for him, it’s one of the signs you need to walk away from him. Listed below are three other important signs you have to move on:
Sex is one of the ways to build a strong relationship for many people, but it’s not the ONLY way to sustain a relationship. If this guy just wants sex from you, then you need to reevaluate your decision of chasing him. It’s one of the obvious signs he is using you for sex and has no intention of committing to you.
2. You aren’t the only person he is seeing
Run away from him if he is a serial dater or if he has someone else in his life and is keeping you as a backup option. He needs to choose you because he likes you and enjoys spending time with you, not because he is bored and wants to while away his time.
3. Walk away when he clearly says he isn’t interested
When a guy is uncertain about you initially but finally expresses that he doesn’t want to commit to you, it’s the clearest sign you need to walk away from him. He has no feelings for you and you can’t really force someone to like/love you, right? He has a right to say no, so accept that and move on.
Key Pointers
Make a guy go crazy about you by flirting with him and touching him in non-sexual ways
Make eye contact with him and be curious about getting to know him. Ask some deep relationship questions to find out what his views are on communication, empathy, and love languages
Walk away from a man who uses you for sex and keeps you as a second choice
If you genuinely love this guy, then you can try everything you can to make him love you back. However, if it’s draining you mentally and you can’t seem to focus on your work and mental health, then it’s time to let him go. Nothing is more important than your peace of mind. There are plenty of fish in the sea who will love you with everything they have.
Springtime means flowers, blossoms, and Easter dresses! We are so excited for the sun to finally come out and stay for a few months. If you are in need of Easter dresses for women, baby easter dresses, or teen Easter dresses, we’ve got you covered here. And spoiler alert: we found tons of matching options!
Easter dress options
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To help you have the best browsing experience possible, we have split the options into a few categories. Click on the one you need and get going!
Need a new dress for the Easter season? We’ve got you. These dresses range from frilly to mod so you’re sure to find what you need. Enjoy our list of Easter outfits women will love!
1. Short-Smocked Dress – If you live in a hot climate, this might be the perfect one for you.
Short-sleeved, knee-length blue Easter dresses for women
2. Blue Smocked Maxi– This is a similar maxi option of the dress above.
Maxi dress, blue Easter dresses for women
3. Strawberry Embroidery – Say no to boring Easter outfits for women and say yes to this strawberry sweet dress.
Pink, strawberry embroidered Easter dresses
4. Felicity Dress – Baltic Born always gives us the best boho options. This smocked dress also comes in multiple colors.
Sage Easter dresses for women
5. Carraway Dress – Bubblegum pink screams springtime and easily transitions to summer as well. Make a statement this Easter.
Girl spins in her pink Easter dress
6. The Bunny Floral Dress – Roolee leaned into the Easter theme and gave us a bunny dress!
Floral Easter dresses for women
7. Flared Cocktail Dress – Lavender with a full sleeve and skater skirt all combine into a perfect Easter dress.
Purple skater-style dress with ruffle sleeves for Easter dresses for women
8. Ruffle Dress – A summery dress with a sweet ruffle sleeve and a waist-accentuating wrap.
Pink floral wrap Easter dresses for women
9. Geometric Mod Dress– This is a perfect option for those who aren’t into all the florals.
Pink and black modern Easter dresses
10. Gingham Prairie Dress – Gingham and Easter dresses are synonymous with one another! This one can also be styled off the shoulder.
Purple gingham Easter dresses for women
Mom, Daughter, and Baby Easter Dresses
If you’ve never dreamed of matching Easter dresses and bow ties, well, your kids probably haven’t been forced to smile for 57 pictures on Easter morning like mine have. HA! All jokes aside, these are some of the cutest Easter outfits women, children, and babies can all enjoy. We even have a few options for your husband!
11. Paris Dress – Ivy City Co. has some of the most exquisite dresses around, and this beautiful seafoam number is no exception. Add a mini-version for your mini-version. YES, please.
Mommy and me seafoam Easter dresses
12. Eyelet Lace – Sparkle in Pink will make you and your girls look picture-perfect with these Spring Dresses for 2023!
White Easter dresses for baby girl and mom
13. Pink Floral – With multiple sizes and the cutest baby Easter dresses, this is an “add to cart” moment for sure. You can’t beat those prices!
Floral skirts and pink topped Easter dresses
14. Mommy Daughter Spring Dresses 2023 – The ability to grab a romper for those itty bitty babies makes this a great choice if you have a variety of ages.
Baby Easter dresses and matching pink floral for mom
15. Mia Dress – This is another Ivy City co. beauty! These women and baby Easter dresses will work all spring and summer long.
Blue and white gingham Easter dresses for any size
16. Ever After – Coming in women, girl, and baby sizes, this romantic frilly dress is perfect next to all the spring blooms.
Dress each member in a pink Easter dresses this season.
18. Chambray Family Outfits – Easter outfits don’t have to be super formal, and these chambray options are fun and casual.
Chambray Easter outfits women and men will both love.
19. Soft, Jersey Bow Dresses – That big bow on the front is enough to make your girls do a cartwheel! Everyone will love these soft and bright Easter dresses.
Bow-detail Easter dresses
20. Like Mama – Etsy sellers are pure gold. This adorable set will have you smiling all Easter long.
Floral, smocked Easter dresses
Little Girl Spring Dresses 2023
Get your little ones looking fresh as a daisy with these adorable options for springtime. Scroll on to find an Easter dress baby girl will love!
21. Bonnie Jean – Multicolored plaid, a ruffle, and a headband. It’s the perfect trifecta for an Easter dress!
22. Viola Dress – Joyfolie always produces such beautiful gowns for little girls. This floor-length pink number is stunning.
23. Hana Eyelet – Yellow, gingham, and eyelets make this sweet yellow dress a great option for baby Easter dresses.
24. Dress and Hat Set – The sage color makes this hat + dress combo unique AND adorable.
25. Woven Purse and Matching Dress – Picture perfect dress and purse all in one purchase. We love this option with some sweet white gloves too!
26. Bunny T-Shirt Dress – If your little cutie is a fan of soft and stretchy dresses, this will be a perfect choice for her.
27. Seersucker Blue Baby Dress – Bunny appliques pair perfectly with seersucker and springtime. It also comes with bloomers!
28. Sister Bunny Jumpers – How cute are these? Removable ears button onto the straps of these sweet jumpers and it comes with a detachable bunny tail that is perfect for any Easter activity!
29. Yellow Gingham – Cute buttons on the front and a large gingham print pair perfectly in this Easter dress.
We hope you found something you like. Don’t forget to take a mandatory Easter family photo in your springtime outfits!
For more ideas to celebrate Easter, we have the Diva’s Ultimate List of Easter Ideas. You’ll find some family ideas and some spicy ideas just for you and your sweetie.
Have you ever felt extremely drained after having sex with someone? Or has sexual intimacy with someone opened the doors for a deep emotional connection? If the answer is yes, these could be the signs you’re forming soul ties sexually.
To dive deeper into the sexual soul ties meaning and how spiritual energy is exchanged during sex, we talked to relationship coach and astrologer Nishi Ahlawat, who specializes in numerology and tarot readings.
What Is A Sexual Soul Tie?
Explaining the soul ties meaning, Nishi says, “There is this synastry of Mars and Venus in the charts of two people, through which we can figure out the strong sexual soul tie between them.”
But how do souls get tied together after sexual intercourse? You may not know this but energy gets exchanged during sex, not just on a physical level, but also on mental, emotional, and spiritual levels. This could be the case with your current partner, ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, or even someone you’re having casual sex with.
In other words, having a sexual relationship with someone might lead to a deeper connection. You might catch/internalize your sexual partner’s trauma, insecurities, and fears, without even realizing it.
Psychotherapist Dr. Daniel Amen calls this phenomenon Limbic Bonding. He says, “Two people may decide to have sex ‘just for the fun of it’ yet something is occurring on another level that they might not have decided at all: sex is enhancing an emotional bond between them whether they want it or not.”
Sexual intimacy or even orgasms don’t always lead to the creation of soul ties. But when you have sex with someone, the odds of forming a soul tie with them increase significantly. So, here are some signs that you have formed soul ties sexually:
1. You’re obsessed with them
Do you have obsessive thoughts/strong feelings about a person even after they’ve let you know that they’re no longer interested in you? Do you experience headaches, stomach aches, sleepless nights, and loss of appetite on their account? This could be one of the signs you have formed soul ties sexually.
A soul tie with someone is a deep connection that cannot be explained (like an invisible thread/metaphorical cord tying two people together). This means you still feel tied to a sexual partner and you even dream about them sometimes, even if you’re no longer together. No matter how much time has passed, your feelings for this particular person are stronger than what you’ve felt for other people in your life.
There could also be other reasons for your obsession. Nishi says, “It could either be the influence of Rahu (the north node of the moon) in the person’s chart or some unresolved past relationship issues.” Unhealthy obsession can also be traced back to personality factors, childhood exposure to unhealthy relationships, or unresolved issues with significant people in your life.
As research points out, the bonding hormone oxytocin is released during sex. And this is why you might feel drawn and tied to your partner. Having sex with the same person over and over again might end up building a soul-tie-like attachment. You may even find that you’ve embraced some of the negative traits of your sexual partner. Hence, always pay attention to how you feel after a sexual encounter. Do you feel disappointed? Or excited/energized?
3. You’re not able to pull away
What’s the difference between soul tie, soulmate, and twin flame? Nishi says, “Soulmates’ journey is smoother as compared to twin flames. But when we use the word ‘tie’ to describe a soul connection, it means we are not free. Then, it becomes a karmic relationship.”
And, owing to this karmic relationship, you are not able to leave your soul tie connection, even when you know you’re unhappy. This form of an unhealthy attachment makes you overstay, even when your partner is controlling/manipulative.
4. You yearn for them
The fact that you yearn for them (to the extent that it may be unrequited love) could be one of the signs you’ve formed soul ties sexually. Maybe, the sexual relationship is over but not the everlasting emotional fantasy about them. Or maybe you still feel a spiritual connection to “the one that got away”.
Nishi points out, “A lot of factors are at play when you yearn for someone’s approval – your own soul journey, your sexual energies, and of course, the strong sexual attraction toward the other person.”
5. You’re having trouble forming healthy relationships with others
If you’re finding it difficult to form healthy relationships with others after a sexual encounter, it could be one of the indicators that you have formed soul ties sexually. You’ve become so enmeshed with someone (owing to the emotional bonding) that you are not able to move on from them.
R.C. Blakes, Jr. writes in his book Soul-Ties: Breaking the Ties That Bind, “Some of the consequences of soul-ties are: low self-esteem, an inability to be intimate with one another, and a misguided perspective on what love is.”
Finally, the concept of a sexual soul traces its origin to Christianity. The Bible’s interpretation says that sex leads to a powerful bond and hence is an activity reserved for married couples. The Bible talks about God’s promises, ungodly soul ties, and “two souls, one flesh”.
However, denying yourself the liberty to explore your sexuality and fulfill your sexual needs until you’re married is an archaic concept in today’s world. Experimenting with multiple people is a personal choice and an absolutely valid one. What you can do is break unhealthy soul ties to preserve your energy field and reduce the amount of clutter or emotional/spiritual/mental debris you have been accumulating along the way. This will help you in moving forward and make peace with your past relationships.
How to break a soul tie with an ex? Nishi emphasizes, “Forgiveness is the first step. Emotional cord-cutting is the next. And then comes acceptance of what is.” Hence, start with forgiving the person who hurt you, misled you, or took advantage of you. Here’s how you can do that:
1. Meditate/pray to forgive
Practice the following technique every day to break an unhealthy soul tie:
Sit still with your back straight
Focus on your breath and call on angels/spiritual guides for help
Imagine cutting a physical cord/rope tying you and your soul tie
Visualize a white light of compassion and forgiveness
Take a few deep breaths and open your eyes
Say your favorite prayer or simply express gratitude
How to break a soul tie with an ex? Set boundaries. You shouldn’t be seeing them, texting, or calling them. You shouldn’t be stalking them on social media. You can even try to avoid meeting mutual friends or their family members for a while.
Also, discard all their gifts or objects that remind you of them. I know it is an extreme step but it can be cathartic to burn those belongings. Or you can just donate them. But really, stop wearing that watch your ex gifted you or sleeping in their t-shirt.
The idea is to free yourself from them. Free your mind, will, and emotions from their influence. If you feel compelled to have a final conversation with this person, do it to let them know that this unhealthy connection needs to end so you don’t fall into the same trap and further entangle your soul.
3. Write your feelings in a journal
Whenever dark, obsessive, and toxic feelings take you over, write them all out in a journal. You will definitely feel less constrained once you release all your feelings on a piece of paper. You can even address it as a letter to your ex, which you don’t have to necessarily send.
The believers in past lives say that a soul tie consists within it a hidden lesson. So, maybe, this soul-tie relationship can be a learning opportunity, teaching you how to surrender to the universe and let go. The more you journal, the more you can understand at a deeper level what this experience is trying to teach you.
4. Build up your self-esteem
Nishi says, “The word toxic is often used to describe soul ties. And that’s enough to tell you the impact they can have on your life. Toxic ties can completely drain you emotionally, mentally, and physically.” When a relationship ends, it can chip away at your self-esteem and may even make you hate yourself for your whole life.
To believe in yourself again, cut down on negative self-talk. Say encouraging words to yourself in the form of positive affirmations. Occupy yourself with activities that make you feel good about yourself. It could be dancing, going to the gym, or playing badminton.
5. How to break a soul tie? Seek professional help
Trying to figure out how to get rid of soul ties sexually is no easy feat, especially if you’re doing it all alone. Psychotherapist Sampreeti Das says, “Therapy can help figure out a lot of dilemmas that may be arising in the context of ending a relationship.
“Through therapy, you’ll gain new perspectives, discover unresolved issues, become aware of underlying triggers, and how to have control over them. The process allows for gaining much more subjective insight into your behavioral patterns making it easier to break them.”
If you’re currently struggling with intense spiritual bonds that you can’t seem to shake off on your own, Bonobology has a multitude of experienced mental health professionals, who are willing to help you.
Key Pointers
You may develop a spiritual soul tie with your sexual partner without even realizing it
Most soul ties feel like an obsession connection at a physical, emotional, and spiritual level
Strong bonds like these come into your life to offer you a profound sense of learning
Spiritual ties leave you with the illusion that this person completes you
Such close relationships feel familiar but it becomes necessary to cut them off to preserve your sanity
You can use methods like journaling, praying to angels/spiritual guides, and cord-cutting meditation to break free from a sexual soul tie
Finally, when you develop a soul tie sexually, understand and analyze whether it’s a healthy relationship or a toxic one. If it’s a healthy soul tie, go ahead and experience it to the fullest. But if it’s an unhealthy or toxic soul tie, make the effort to disassociate yourself or get rid of it.
Yes, we know that the physical connection that you felt in your past romantic relationships is inexplicable/irreplaceable. But by holding onto that person forever, you’re hindering yourself and blocking your blessings. It is high time that you make space for a new relationship and find healthy ways to move on.
FAQs
1. Do sexual soul ties affect men?
Yes, men get affected as much as women when they form soul ties sexually. But men are more subtle in their reaction to experiencing a soul tie.
2. Can sexual soul ties be one-sided?
Yes, unrequited love amounts to one-sided soul ties. Maybe, the sexual relationship is over but not the everlasting emotional fantasy about them. Or maybe you still feel a spiritual connection to “the one that got away”.
3. What is a toxic soul tie?
A toxic soul tie is one that will harm you either mentally, spiritually, or physically. Since it’s an intense manifestation of the obsession you feel toward a person, a toxic soul tie can end up affecting other areas of your life negatively.
A relationship always starts with excitement, getting to know each other, breaking down the mystery, falling in love. But alas, the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. After a while, comfort starts to seep in, which may brew boredom. Things might start to feel monotonous; you might feel like you don’t do anything new, or you might not feel as attracted to your partner. These signs of a boring relationship may lead you to ultimately grow apart.
The boredom can come from a variety of reasons. Cheryl Harasymchuk, a professor of Psychology at Carleton University, in her research, suggests that boredom is frequently attributed to lack of novelty and stimulation. Sometimes, it just means that the relationship has become stable and you need to put in more effort to keep the spark alive.
However, there is a difference between getting bored and being comfortable. Being in a stable, comfortable relationship, that makes you feel safe, is a literal dream! But being in a stagnant one can soon lead to boredom and cause one or both partners to want out of the relationship. These signs of a boring marriage/relationship must not be confused with signs of a failed marriage. Because at this point, the situation can still be rectified.
Why Does A Relationship Become Boring?
Have you reached the boring stage of a relationship? There may be a lot of reasons as to why a relationship becomes tedious. But first, what’s a boring relationship? When the initial excitement fades or fizzles out, and both partners get into a dry routine without trying to do anything new, you can see signs of a boring relationship there. The causes are:
It could’ve happened due to the natural ebb and flow of the relationship
Neither partner was putting in any efforts to get out of the stagnant routine – the same efforts that they used to put in initially
A research suggests that sexual boredom can reduce your overall well-being too. This boredom can make you question your compatibility and intimacy with your partner in the long run. So stay alert for the following signs of a boring relationship, and try to deal with them in a healthy way to save your bond.
15 Signs Of A Boring Relationship
Sometimes, feeling bored in a relationship can mean that the relationship has run its course, and neither partner wants to make a change. A study by Hanna Zagefka and Krisztina Bahul shows that sometimes certain innate beliefs of a person lead to them having highly unrealistic expectations from the relationship, and when those are not fulfilled, they might feel unsatisfied and think they are bored. But if the cause is pinned down, they can find a way out of the slump. Here are 15 signs of a boring relationship:
1. You keep having the same fight, or no arguments at all
You might be experiencing a lack of interest in your partner’s life, or anything at all that they do. The signs of a boring boyfriend/girlfriend keep piling up as you give out an exasperated sigh. Since there is no mutual care left, there will be no arguments. It just doesn’t seem worth the trouble.
You’ll find yourself letting go of a lot of issues because nothing they do matters. So the problems that you are facing will not be resolved, but only pile up to explode later. On the other hand, you might be having the same fight over and over again with no resolution.
2. Monotony has set in
The initial spark has fizzled out and you find yourself stuck in the daily mundane routine, and this monotonous dating life is driving you nuts.
There are no new shared experiences, which is essential if a relationship is to remain afloat
The days have started to merge into each other; nothing stands out as a special, intimate memory
You are starting to realize that you need to get you and your partner out of this set pattern or your relationship will sink, and take you with it
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3. Deep conversations are things of the past
It is possible that you’ve reached one of those boring stages of your relationship where you know everything about each other, and it feels like there is nothing new to talk about, or that you can predict their every reply. Even if you try to have a deep conversation with your partner, you find your mind drifting, or maybe you see your partner is not being very attentive, which is definitely a sign of a boring girlfriend/boyfriend.
There might be two extremes in a relationship, where you spend all your time together, or when you don’t spend enough time with your partner. Both these situations are equally harmful to a relationship, as spending too much time together will render you bored very soon, and spending too little quality time will mean a lack of bonding and connection.
5. You have nothing positive to say about each other anymore
Lisa A. Neff and April A. Buck found in their study that “although happy spouses commonly overlook their partner’s occasional insensitivity, the current findings suggest that stressful circumstances external to the relationship may cloud those rose-colored glasses by orienting individuals’ attention toward relationship negativity”.
The stressful circumstance in this case is the boredom in your relationship. When you are with your partner, instead of feeling at home and peaceful like you used to, you now experience a wave of mutual hostility or withdrawal. It could look like this:
Every time you are with your partner, all you feel is irritated or annoyed by their habits that you once used to find adorable
There may be periods of constant silence between you both
The relationship may include no appreciation from one or both partners
It is imperative to address these emotions, and identify why you might be experiencing them, because there is always a way to fix a strained relationship if one wants it.
6. One sign of a boring relationship is less sex
Sex, too, can seem boring in a long-term relationship, if you are not trying anything new. Sometimes, the boredom of a relationship can be a sign that he is bored with you in bed or that she’s tired of the same old moves. As mentioned above, research shows that people who are bored in a relationship have sex less often and find sex less exciting. If you’re not trying to spice up your sex life, maybe the two of you are so weary of each other that you avoid sex altogether. But, sometimes all that is needed is some great sex.
The fact that you are unsatisfied in your relationship will have you looking elsewhere to fill that gap.
A certain unexpected person might start to seem very attractive all of a sudden. You could see them as everything that your current partner is not, which could lead to infidelity
If you think the relationship is a goner, end it and then go ahead with the infatuation, but if you think there is still something left to salvage, talk it out
8. You’re fantasizing about being single
When you’re bored in your relationship, you might start getting jealous of your single friends, and thinking about all the good times from your singlehood. Fantasizing about being single is a clear sign of a boring relationship, signifying your stagnation in the current relationship.
One of my dear friends once came and told me how jealous she was that I was single and able to be with whoever I wanted, not being stuck in the doldrums. All the while I was thinking how envious I was that she had a constant support system, someone to go home to after a long day. I guess the grass always looks greener on the other side.
9. You’re filled with conflicting emotions
The boredom will bring you to an inevitable conundrum where you will feel a lot of conflicting emotions.
You might feel like you love your partner and yet you are unhappy. This will have you swinging from happiness to anger or comfort to despair very quickly
You will have to find the cause of your unhappiness, and decide whether the relationship is worth saving or not. Whatever your answer might be, you need to be sure you are prepared to go through that ordeal
10. Avoiding each other looks like the best solution
“There are times when, either consciously or unconsciously, we want to take a dig at our partners, and spouses know best what will get their partners’ goat,” says psychologist Arthur Aron of Stony Brook University.
So, your answer to avoid conflicts is to pull away from your partner or completely avoid them, which leads to even more boredom in your relationship. You would rather stay late at work or watch a TV show alone than spend time with them. But this can also make you feel lonely in the relationship.
11. There is no mention of a future together
The thought of spending your future with your partner might not seem as welcoming as it once did. All conversations would seem to miss that flavor of the future as well. Things like getting married, building a family, owning a house with them might start to look a little blurry than before and you might become unsure if they’re really the person you’d want to do that with or not.
12. The romance is missing
You might feel like you are not attracted to your partner anymore. There is not an ounce of romance left between the two of you, and if you wish to keep the relationship going, you will have to go out of your way to find it back. There are certain things that you might be doing that might be killing the romance. While it may be natural for passion to fade over time in a relationship, there shouldn’t be a complete lack of romance.
13. You want to change things constantly
When you don’t want changes, it means that you are comfortable. But in an unexciting dynamic, you will constantly be looking for things to change, for your relationship to continually evolve, or you’ll find yourself becoming restless.
You might feel like you’d much rather spend time hanging out with your friends than be bored sitting at home with your partner.
Boredom can make you feel uncomfortable and restless, and makes you seek out your friends instead, where you feel safe and fun.
“Boredom often leads to seeking excitement outside the relationship,” says Lisa Concepcion, Founder of LoveQuest Coaching. “Cheating, acting out on social media, and also wild nights with friends are behaviors that bored people will engage in.”
15. You’d rather be glued to your phone
Even when you’re with your partner, the world that is inside your phone seems to be much more interesting than any conversation you might have with them. You’ll find yourself being less attentive to your partner and instead want to fill the awkward silences by being on your phone, so as to avoid conflict or feeling the state of unhappiness and dissatisfaction that your relationship has come to.
5 Ways To Fix A Boring Relationship
Boredom can have severely negative effects on your bond, but there are things that you can do to infuse some excitement back into your boring relationship. Sonya Teclai, a famous musician says, “It’s crucial to prevent a relationship from getting boring. Put as much effort in keeping your significant other as you did to get them.”
The first step is to ask yourself if you’re bored or just extremely comfortable. If you are bored, which aspect of the relationship would you like to work on? Are you and your partner even willing to put in the effort it will take to salvage the relationship? Once you have your answers to these, you can try the following 5 ways to battle the boring signs of a relationship.
1. Communication is key
The first thing a person needs to do is talk about it. It is essential in a relationship to have clear and open communication. So mention to your partner that you feel that the relationship is in a rut, and could use some spicing up. Throw out ideas to shake things up and try to find something you guys can do that will bring you closer.
You should make sure that you go on a date with each other once a week. If not a date night, then a breakfast date, but something. You can shake up your routine and try new things together – go to new places instead of your usual spots, work out together, find a hobby or a shared interest or take a class together, travel, go for a hike, etc. There are endless things you can think of to do with your partner to get yourselves out of the boring stage of the relationship. Maybe a DIY date might help too? Something to think about!
3. A little goes a long way
Small romantic gestures always have a lot of impact and make a lot of difference. Maybe a small note to show your appreciation, or sending them flowers just because. Any small gesture to let them know you are thinking of them and that they mean a lot to you will help you both slowly get back on track.
4. Spice up your sex life
The importance of sex cannot be overlooked in a relationship. It is a beautiful thing that bonds you and your partner and creates intimacy. As mentioned above, sometimes, a boring sex life can lead to you feeling bored in the relationship as a whole. If you feel like your sex life needs attention, you can try sexting, dirty talk, role play, lingerie, new positions, sex toys, etc. to help juice up the situation, if you know what I mean (wink!).
5. You can seek counseling
If you’ve tried everything else and nothing seems to work, couple’s counseling might be a great option for you to try. The counselor will help you improve mutual communication and this might help you be more intimate with your partner. Sometimes, it is found that the boredom actually stems from a mental health issue that one or both partners are facing, which only a trained counselor would be able to help you with.
Key Pointers
A relationship might turn boring after a while, which is natural. But it doesn’t mean that the relationship has to end
The fact that there seems less or nothing to talk about, that there is less sex, more negative emotions, and feelings of avoiding each other are all signs of a boring relationship
There are a lot of ways that could fix a boring relationship and add spice to it, namely communication, small but meaningful gestures, juicing up the sex life, or counseling
Every relationship has a boring stage. But if the relationship and your partner are worth fighting for, you’ll get through it. All you need to do is identify the cause of this dreariness, talk it through with your partner, and work on it. The signs of a boring relationship are not to stay if the relationship is constantly worked upon. Being in a healthy romantic bond and keeping it healthy are no piece of cake. It will require all your effort, and your partner’s as well, but it will be worth it.
FAQs
1. Is marriage supposed to be boring?
After you’ve been with a person for a long period of time, like in a marriage, the relationship might start to feel like a snooze-fest. But it is upon both the partners to try and keep the spark alive. Ainee Nizami from Mumbai says, “I’ve been married for a decade, and I don’t agree with this statement at all. Post-marriage life gets comfortable and it’s on you and your partner to not make that zone boring. Personally, I’d rather have this comfort zone over anything else: there’s a lot less drama, there’s a lot of trust, and sure, some days you’ll ditch the date nights for pizza in bed, but remind me again how is that boring!”
2. How long before a relationship gets boring?
There is no set time limit to a relationship and its stages, but the general consensus is that boredom can set in anywhere from three months to two years, with many people citing the six-month mark as when things start to feel monotonous. Good news? Even if you’re bored, there are ways to get out of a romantic slump and rediscover passion and excitement.
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When you’re on the go with your baby, you need to be prepared for any situation. You can pack a diaper bag with essentials to help your little one stay healthy and happy. Your diaper bag needs to be convenient and available to you when your child needs you.
Check out these five diaper bag essentials for your baby’s wellness.
Choose a Convenient Diaper Bag Option
Before you put together a list of items that should go in your baby’s diaper bag, you need to choose a convenient bag option that works for you and your family. Diaper bags today have evolved to include many different styles and types. Parents can go with the traditional diaper bag that they carry on their shoulders, like a larger purse, or choose a backpack diaper bag that makes lugging items less of a hassle.
Diaper Rash Cream
The first item you want to include in your diaper bag’s baby medicine bundle is a quality diaper rash cream. Your baby’s skin health is vital to its overall wellness and comfort. Be sure to choose a protective rash cream that keeps your baby’s bottom clean and dry between diaper changes.
Sunscreen
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The second item to put in your diaper bag is sunscreen. You can put a hat on your baby to keep the sun off its face, but you’ll also need sunscreen to keep the harmful UV rays from damaging your baby’s skin. A baby’s sensitive skin is vulnerable to the hot sun, even in the winter when the temperature drops.
Baby Cough Medicine
Next, stock your organic baby bundle with cough medicine. Your little one may struggle with a cough if they have a cold or another viral infection. A cough can keep your little one awake during nap time and irritated when you go out to do errands and visits. Talk to your pediatrician to choose the right cough medicine option for your child.
Iron Drops
You should also keep iron drops for babies in your diaper bag. Babies may need a supplemental source of iron if they are breastfed during their first year of life. Some formulas are fortified with iron. However, your formula-fed infant may also require an iron supplement.
First Aid Kit
Lastly, don’t forget to put a first aid kit in your diaper bag for accidents. Make sure your first aid kit contains bandages, wound ointment, saline solution, and other essentials if your child gets a cut, bump, bruise, or scrape.
Keep Your Little One Healthy
Keeping your baby healthy during those first early years is all about preparation. Besides supplies to stay healthy, your diaper bag should also include plenty of diapers and changing supplies, and at least one extra outfit for your baby. Some parents also pack a change of shirt for themselves in case there is a messy accident.
Don’t be afraid to leave the house if you have an infant. Keep your diaper bag filled with the essentials for your child’s health, so you are prepared for almost any scenario.
As a little girl, I grew up watching Disney princesses and Hallmark movies. From princes and princesses to kings and queens, I quickly built up the idea that when I reached maturity, I would fall in love by accident and live happily ever after. Little did I realize as a child, however, that love rarely happens like in the movies. And there were many things I wish someone would’ve told me about falling in love before I did.
At twenty-one, I remember crying on my floor because I was single. In fact, I cried so much that a water stain was actually visible on my wood flooring. But in that season, before I was ever in a relationship, I truly believe the Lord was preparing my heart and making room for real love to grow.
When I met my now fiance a mere year later, there were three things I learned about love. While it has now been almost five years since we met, each one is still applicable and worth sharing:
While this might seem like a given, one thing that surprised me about love when I first started dating is that love is an action. 1 Corinthians 13 explains to us that love is patient, kind, and forgiving. But it is easy to read that verse and subtract the application from it. Apart from the application, love seems easy. It is a feel-good feeling that we want more of, butterflies and warm fuzzies included. But as the Passion Translation writes, love requires much more serious work and action than we might want to let on:
“Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. Love never stops loving. It extends beyond the gift of prophecy, which eventually fades away. It is more enduring than tongues, which will one day fall silent. Love remains long after words of knowledge are forgotten. Our present knowledge and our prophecies are but partial, but when love’s perfection arrives, the partial will fade away” (1 Corinthians 13:4-10).
Despite common misconception, love, by God’s definition, is an action verb, not a passive noun. And if God is Love (noun) (1 John 4:7-21), Love is not only an ever-lasting person but an active pursuit of passion.
Perhaps the greatest demonstration of love was when Love Himself sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins, knowing that we might never love Him back. And we could certainly never repay Him. Real love isn’t concerned with him or herself but with others. And the moment love is isolated to feeling and subtracted from action, it simply isn’t love.
Jesus kept this simple when He said in 1 John 3:18“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18, NIV). And He does so by leading by His example: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?” (1 John 3:16-17, NIV).
Jesus never asks us to do something that He Himself hasn’t already done or given us. Why would we expect anything less? Why, then, would we not selflessly give love and lavish it upon others?
2. Love Takes Work
Once the honeymoon phase of infatuation wore off, I quickly realized that love is not only an action but takes a lot of work. And especially once Ben and I started to open up and be real with each other, it was evident that our love was going to take patience, persistence, and lots of resilience.
Many of you may roll your eyes at this if you’ve been dating for any period of time, but you and your significant other are going to have disagreements. No matter how great the other person may be, they are not a carbon copy of you! And chances are, that means you will disagree on something eventually.
When this happens, it is important that we remember what Jesus said about disagreements. To be quick to listen and slow to speak, but to also never go to bed angry:
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you” (James 1:19-21, NIV).
He also noted that if you were in the middle of giving an offering to God and remembered that you had an offense with someone, it was more important to seek restitution with that person first. The Message paraphrases it this way:
“This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God” (Matthew 5:23-24).
Clearly, Scripture reveals to us that love takes work from both parties. It is not always easy to love. But it is always worth it.
3. Love Is Not for Our Mere Satisfaction
Whether we’d like to admit it or not, the act of loving another human being is not for our mere satisfaction. And as harsh as it might sound, marriage, love, and relationships were not solely created to please our inherently selfish pre-dispositions. Romans 3:23 reminds us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. This means that when we love, our inherent nature is not always geared towards what we can give others but what we ourselves will receive.
One of the best Scriptures in the Bible that talks about this type of love is ultimately when Jesus died for us (Matthew 27:32-56). Nothing about the death of Jesus was pleasant. And while Jesus trusted God to live in eternity, I cannot fathom the pain He endured as the sins of the world were placed upon His frame. He truly loved not for a love He would receive back but a love He was willing to die to give.
In John 21, beginning in verse 15, Jesus illustrates this love with Simon Peter when he asks him, “Do you love me?” three times, changing agape (sacrificial love) to philio (friendship). Even when Jesus asked Peter for sacrificial love, and all he was willing to give was friendship love, Jesus went to Him. He changed His expectations of love. And He loved Him anyway.
“After they had breakfast, Jesus said to Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you burn with love for me more than these?” Peter answered, “Yes, Lord! You know that I have great affection for you!” “Then take care of my lambs,” Jesus said. Jesus repeated his question the second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you burn with love for me?” Peter answered, “Yes, my Lord! You know that I have great affection for you!” “Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said. Then Jesus asked him again, “Peter, son of Jonah, do you have great affection for me?” Peter was saddened by being asked the third time and said, “My Lord, you know everything. You know that I burn with love for you!” Jesus replied, “Then feed my lambs” (John 21:15-17, TPT)!
Today, it is my prayer that when you love, you will seek to embody all that Love Himself has already given us. It may be an action, take work, and require us to look beyond ourselves, but in doing so, it will exemplify the Love of Christ it was always meant to represent.
Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk,ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website atamberginter.com.
It is common for one spouse to be concerned and want their spouse’s full attention to feel heard, and the other doesn’t want to talk and stop listening.
Many fear couples therapy will bring out all of the “ghosts in the closet”.
My husband doesn’t listen to me!
First off, different couples can embrace different “models” of how to resolve conflict. Harold Raush, author of: “Communication, Conflict, and Marriage,” analyzed marital interactions.
He wanted to figure out what behaviors left couples either happy or miserable. His research showed that there was no ideal form of communication. Each had benefits and drawbacks.
We think healthy couples couples are those that take time to talk, have healthy communication styles like active listening and can effectively communicate. However, that’s not what he found. He determined that there were three styles that healthy couples use to cope with differences:
Validator
Conflict-avoiding
Volatile
Validator style
You appear to embrace a “let’s talk it out” validating method. Validators believe that the more we bring conflicts up, and attempt to resolve them, the better off we’ll be. These partners value a spouse who shows good listening skills and a spouse who can tune into their partner.
They may actually feel that the time set aside to resolve their differences as a “good time”.
These couples are competitive with each other, but they also are willing to empathize and compromise. However, they don’t focus on every area of conflict. Some areas, they leave be.
Conflict-avoiding style
In contrast, your husband appears to believe in the “conflict-avoiding” model that hopes that if you don’t make too much of things, they’ll eventually die down and go away. Conflict-avoiders emphasize their commonality.
They focus on how “happy” they are together.
They have clear areas of separate interests (his thing/her thing) and clear boundaries. They aren’t particularly emotionally expressive, but they more quietly enjoy their common interests and have times that are happy enough for the both of them.
Volatile style
The third kind is the “volatile” couples, which (despite the name) is still a workable style. They are intensely emotional and frequently debate but do it with good humor and laughter. This couple can express anger and feelings of insecurity but no contempt. They have few boundaries, and they share a lot and often argue about roles. They value honesty and emotional connection.
Five-to-one ratio
All three styles, Gottman found, can be happy and functional if they maintain what he calls a 5 to 1 ratio. This is the amount of empathy, support, agreement, laughter, and joking they do while they fight (that’s the 5) to criticizing, being defensive, or “stonewalling” their partners (that’s the 1 part).
No marriage works if contempt is a constant aspect of fights. Conflict-avoiding couples don’t have a lot of negatives, so they don’t need a lot of positives to be happy. Volatile couples have a lot of conflicts, so they need a lot of good feelings when they fight.
Different styles
The trouble comes when one partner embraces one paradigm of how to handle conflict and one embraces another. In this case, you feel as if your husband is blowing you off and “putting on a smiley face” instead of treating your issues seriously.
Your husband, you suggest, is telling you: “Don’t make problems where there aren’t any.” Your efforts to connect emotionally may result in his distancing from you. He’s trying to allow things to “calm down.” You aren’t relating well because you are embracing different ideals of what makes a marriage work.
Because you haven’t yet talked to him about it, emphasize the “skills” aspects of the couple work you can do to get closer and pick something he would like to see better (you may have to guess, like “disagreeing less” or “more sex”.)
Learning to talk in a group setting
You can start with one of the famous Art and Science of Love seminars offered across the USA, many held by our Gottman-certified therapists here at Couples Therapy Inc. The Art and Science of love is a group experience that allows couples to become familiar with many of the principles we cover in our intensive couples therapy retreat. There is no personal sharing encouraged. You work simply between yourselves as you learn.
Learning to talk over a weekend
In contrast, he may prefer the idea of an intensive weekend rather than what he might experience as the “drip, drip, drip” sensation of weekly work. “Get in, see what can be improved, and get on with it” might appeal to him.
Couples Therapy for One
If these two ideas are rejected, consider “Couples Therapy for One,” in which you go to learn how you can improve the marriage, even if he’s not there.
I know it sounds odd, but instead of going into individual therapy, which can sometimes end up unintentionally breaking a marriage up (“I’ve got to be me, without you…”) Couples Therapy for One deliberately looks at how this one person can create a positive impact on the relationship. Let him know that’s your plan and get his support. He may be more open to going himself if he sees how much help it has done both of you to do that ” ‘therapy for one’ thing.”
Couples therapy is no longer a simple re-hashing of every gripe or bad feeling you’ve experienced over the year, while the therapist sits by quietly.
That’s not “couples therapy.”
That’s just “bad therapy.”
If that’s his idea of what couples therapy is, it may be helpful to read one of the many Gottman books on how marriages work.
Staying in a marriage without trust is like deep sea diving without an air tank. You’re not going to get very far.
Trust can be everything to a marriage. When couples have trust, they can fully give themselves to each other and build a strong foundation of love and marital friendship.
Without trust, intimacy falls to the wayside and even something as simple as making eye contact becomes a struggle.
If there has been a betrayal in your marriage, you know the pain of trying to pull the broken pieces of your heart back together.
Is it worth it to try and fix a marriage without trust? If you want to stay together, how can you fix marital trust issues when your heart is broken?
5 reasons why complete trust in marriage is important
A study published by Northwestern University found that couples who trust each other enjoy more fulfilling relationships. Here are just some reasons why trust in marriage makes partners happier.
1. It allows a marriage to grow
When you and your partner can trust each other, you give your relationship a chance to grow.
Trust allows you to open up and learn more about each other. Knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses is a special bond that only happens when you truly trust each other.
2. It creates safety
When you trust your spouse, you feel safe and taken care of. You feel like you can tell your spouse anything without being judged or left. You know you can rely on your partner for care, support, and love.
When you trust someone, you can completely let your guard down, and that allows you to love them with your whole heart. This improves romantic love and marital friendship, which studies show can boost happiness and marital satisfaction.
4. It contributes to respect
Respect blooms when your partner shows you that they are accountable and reliable. You begin to hold them in high esteem and never have fears of rejection.
The respect born from a deep trust in marriage allows you to have your own opinions, feelings, and interests without worrying about intimidating or irritating your spouse.
5. It lets you be vulnerable
Trust in marriage allows you to be vulnerable, which boosts emotional intimacy.
Emotional intimacy is essential to a strong and lasting marriage. Studies show that couples who have high levels of emotional intimacy do better in stressful situations and feel higher sexual attraction to one another.
10 reasons why rebuilding trust in marriage is hard
Trust in marriage, when it is broken, can be incredibly hard to repair. The couple usually has to work together to address the problems within the relationship to truly reestablish trust.
Check out some effective ways you can rebuild trust using practical and healthy ways:
1. You’re stopped believing in your partner
Can you have a marriage without trust? A lack of trust in marriage can make you lose respect for your partner, which can be difficult to come back from.
Rebuilding trust becomes nearly impossible when you no longer believe your partner is a good person or that they are truly sorry.
2. Your head is fighting your heart
Can a marriage survive without trust? Not when your head is fighting your heart.
Your head may understand that your spouse is sorry, and you know that you should forgive them and rebuild your relationship – but your heart isn’t ready.
3. You’re not giving your relationship attention
Staying in a marriage without trust is hard when you’ve been betrayed.
Healing a marriage is all about communication and spending time together. Research shows that couples with a regular date night increase their communication skills, bring excitement back into their relationship, and increase sexual satisfaction.
However, when you feel hurt and betrayed by someone, the last thing you want to do is spend quality time with them.
4. The break in trust has created complications
Can a marriage survive without trust? It gets harder to make a marriage work after there is no trust in a marriage, especially if the betrayal has left complications in its wake. Such complications include such things as:
A pregnancy created out of an affair
Severe psychological trauma caused by the betrayal (such as PTSD or an emotional breakdown)
A sexually transmitted infection/disease
Such complications can enhance the anxiety and anger the betrayed spouse may feel from staying married without trust.
5. Your partner doesn’t want to seek therapy
Trying to heal from a betrayal can be hard when your partner isn’t interested in talking things out.
Therapy can be incredibly healing for both partners, as can pre-marriage counseling – but if your partner isn’t interested in getting help, you may feel trapped.
Remind your partner that a few moments of discomfort in therapy or pre-marriage counseling is preferable to staying in a marriage without trust.
Even if you are already married, pre-marriage counseling can do wonders for restoring your communication skills and teaching you to deal with trust issues in marriages.
6. You’re angry
Feeling angry is a natural reaction to infidelity or other forms of betrayal – and trust issues in marriages are difficult to fix when you are angry with your spouse.
When there is no trust in a marriage, you may start to feel furious about:
The betrayal
Your spouse’s mishandling of your heart
Any situation (not spending quality time together, putting sex on the backburner) that may have led to the lack of trust
The stress of having to decide whether to stay together or not
Living in a marriage without trust makes it hard to want to show vulnerability to someone who hurt you.
The more you shut away your heart, the harder it is to maintain emotional intimacy with your partner.
Without emotional intimacy, your relationship is dead.
8. You’re embarrassed
Even if only you and your partner know what happened to break the trust between you, you may still feel embarrassed. You might feel like you should have seen this coming or wonder why your partner was so easily able to hurt your feelings with their actions. There may even be a small part of you that blames yourself for what happened.
Times this embarrassment and confusion by about a hundred if other people, such as family, friends, your partner’s friends, or your children also know the details of the betrayal.
9. You have friend/family opposition
Staying in a marriage without trust can be especially complicated if your family or friends know the dirty details of what broke that trust.
Your friends and family can strongly impact how you deal with relationship issues. Their love for you makes them naturally protective, and they may encourage you to leave your marriage instead of working things out.
10. You’re going too fast
Can a marriage survive without trust? It can, but you need to take your time.
When you love your partner, you may be eager to get things back to normal, but the healing of a heart doesn’t adhere to any specific timeline.
Instead of trying to force forgiveness to move things along, take your time in processing the grief you feel. Your mind and heart need to grieve the lack of trust in marriage, the betrayal, and the intense way you’ve been disrespected.
Once you have processed your grief, you’ll be able to truly forgive your spouse and focus on making your relationship wonderful again.
6 ways to rebuild trust in your marriage
Can a marriage survive without trust? No. Not if you want a happy marriage, anyway.
If you are thinking about staying in a marriage without trust, you need to learn how to navigate the hurt feelings and heal the broken trust in your relationship.
While it’s easier said than done, here are some essential steps to rebuild trust in your marriage.
1. Decide to forgive your partner
Building trust in a marriage starts with forgiveness.
Decide in your soul that you’re ready to forgive what happened and move forward. Only with forgiveness will you be able to heal your relationship.
If you were the one who broke your partner’s trust, you need to take responsibility.
Apologize to your spouse. Do it from the heart, and don’t make any excuses. Avoid saying so out loud, even if you feel your partner played a part in your betrayal.
Tell them you are sorry and explain why. Only if your spouse feels that you are sincere with your apology will they be able to truly forgive you.
3. Take the time you need to heal
As previously mentioned, if you try and force yourself to move on before your heart is ready, your marriage will struggle.
Take the time you need to heal from your marital trust issues before trying to fix the issues in your relationship actively.
4. Communicate clearly
Communication is the foundation of a healthy, strong marriage. Start your healing journey from staying in a marriage without trust by being open about how you feel.
You can also communicate with your spouse about limits that can help you from breaking trust boundaries in the future.
Watch this video to learn how to fix poor communication in a relationship:
5. Be transparent
If you are the one who broke your partner’s trust, now is the time to be transparent. For the next little while, it will help your partner heal for you to be honest about where you’re going, who you are spending time with, and who you’re getting a text from.
Trust is an important building block of any relationship. A marriage is more healthy and fulfilling if the couple can trust each other.
What are signs of lack of trust?
Staying in a marriage without trust can breed a host of problems.
Are you worried you don’t trust your partner or suspect they don’t trust you? These telltale signs can spot a lack of trust in marriage:
You always assume the worst of your spouse
You constantly accuse them of something
You never let yourself feel comfortable in love
You check your spouse’s phone (either openly or behind their back)
You demand passwords or track them on your phone
You can’t seem to forgive even small mistakes
You feel lonely when you are with your spouse
You are suspicious of your partner’s friends or family
You avoid intimacy with your partner
Is there a cure for marital trust issues?
You don’t have to keep living without trust in marriage. You can overcome trust issues with the assistance of a couples counselor, communicating openly with your spouse, and giving yourself time to heal from your relationship betrayal.
Final takeaway
Can a marriage survive without trust? No. Staying in a marriage without trust is both frustrating and heartbreaking.
Yet, rebuilding that trust is difficult. You may feel like your partner isn’t giving you reasons to forgive them, you may still have a broken heart, or you may be too angry to think about restoring trust.
From work to raising children, marital trust issues can affect every aspect of your life.
You don’t have to feel lonely in your marriage. Rebuild trust in your marriage by seeking couples counseling, communicating openly with your partner, and taking the time you need to heal.
Are you a newly engaged couple preparing for the big day? With tons of best wishes turned in daily, it should be a reminder that there are lots of preparations to make toward the wedding date. If you’re looking for a guide to help you plan properly, here you have it. This article has all the important wedding planning activities to engage in as you are preparing.
How to Plan a Wedding? 10 Steps
Planning a wedding can get overwhelming for most couples. There are so many things to take care of that you may find yourself at a loss on where to begin. To make the process easier, we’ve put together this step-by-step wedding planning guide for you:
1. Pick a date
The first thing you should discuss as a newly engaged couple is the season, time, and date of the wedding. A lot of couples would prefer to jump to other activities while tossing this aside. However, it has significant benefits and contributes to the planning process. With a date picked, you can proceed to hire vendors to cater for the event. When selecting a potential date, ensure you pay attention to the specific season and understand the peculiarities.
Once the wedding date is fixed, the next is selecting a preferred location for the wedding. This is very important and should be secured to keep your proposed wedding date a reality. If you’re contemplating having a destination wedding, then you have to make plans keeping your chosen destination in mind at this stage.
Popular destination sites like Santorini, Maldives, etc may require booking a year in advance. While working on this, inquire about the other requirements to hold a wedding at the venue, and familiarize yourself with these ahead of time.
3. Hire a wedding planner
Planning a wedding comes with a lot of stress. But the best part is that you can hire a wedding planner to handle all the running around at an affordable cost. If you’ve decided to hire a wedding planner, you need to be sure it’s the best person for the job.
A good way to find a professional wedding planner around you is to ask your colleagues and friends. If you’ve got a newly married friend in your circle that made use of a planner, ask for a referral. Ensure you make the necessary background checks properly before committing your activities to the planner. Remember it’s the happiest day of your life, so everything should run smoothly.
4. Draw a budget
The next step is to draw up a budget for the wedding. Even if you’ll be planning a super expensive wedding, draw a budget using the various estimates you have already. The budget helps you work in line with your financial strength and prevents overspending.
From the wedding planner’s list, you can ask for an estimate of the prices of hiring the various vendors that will be rendering services at the wedding. This estimate will guide you to calculate a rough amount you’ll need for the wedding. While drawing up the budget, however, you may have to mark some extra amount for miscellaneous costs. You may not have to shell out this extra money, but it helps you prepare for unforeseen spending.
5. Select a caterer
If you’ll be working with a caterer for your wedding, finding one would be the next step. To avoid confusion or scouting for the best around, ask your wedding planner for a suggestion list. With this, you can decide to visit them for brief discussions or mini-interviews. Then, you can select the right person for your event. Fulfill all your wedding dreams by having the best food.
Before selecting the caterer, take some time to discuss the food menu. If the same caterer would be handling the dessert and cake too, then you may schedule a series of appointments for this aspect. In all, ensure the caterer is capable of delivering well on your wedding day.
Another professional you should book ahead for the wedding is the officiant. This may also require you to have physical or virtual meetings with the professional. Inquire about any payments and other requirements that will be needed for the knot-tying ceremony.
7. Design the wedding invites
If you’ve taken this process gradually till this point, then the wedding date should be approaching fast already. It’s now time to design wedding invites. To do this, select a color theme for the ceremony and use the same colors for the invite as well. You can search for a professional designer to handle this. However, a good tip to cut costs is to handle the invites yourself. Using free design templates online, you can make your invites without payment of any kind.
8. Book a makeup artist and hair stylist
Another vendor that you need to book at this stage is the makeup artist. This is very important, especially if you’re getting married during the peak season when most professionals will be busy. Also, last-minute bookings attract extra fees, which will affect your budget. So, tick the makeup artist off the box as soon as possible.
9. Search for wedding attire
As the bride and groom, everyone will expect your dresses and attires to be unique, beautiful, flawless, and breathtaking. So, you need to carefully search for the best dress that’ll make a memorable fashion statement and also keep you comfortable throughout the day.
As you’re doing this, take some time to search for accessories and shoes to go with your wedding attire. Take your bridesmaid into consideration here too and get something they’ll wear. Friends can be a vital support system in the wedding preparations process. Seek your girls’/guys’ help in selecting your wedding dress/tux.
10. Buy wedding rings
You’re tying the knot, right? You’ll need to buy rings and other jewelry for the occasion. Together with your partner, decide the types you’ll like to wear and then proceed to search for stores around that sell. On the other hand, you can decide to divide and conquer by buying the rings individually once you’ve decided on the kind you want.
So, as the groom, you can enlist the help of one or two friends in searching for the best men’s wedding bands. Likewise, the bride-to-be can do this with her girlfriends. Before buying the ring, make sure the size is perfect and you understand the best ways to maintain the material your ring is made of.
Preparing for a wedding is a journey that involves a lot of decision-making. In this article, you have read the most important preparations to make ahead of your wedding. With this followed as a guide, you’ll worry less and achieve more.
The feeling of falling in love is unparalleled. It’s as if a switch turns on and suddenly makes everything beautiful. But there is one feeling that is even better than falling in love — having those feelings reciprocated. But the situation becomes extremely precarious if you think that your partner does not feel the same way. Especially if it’s a man because, more often than not, it’s a little tricky to get a read on what men are feeling. Hence, it is important to be on the lookout for hidden signs a man is falling in love with you.
The age-old teaching of ‘men don’t cry’ that is instilled in them from birth prevents them from talking about their emotions. Even so, according to this research in 2022, men are more likely to confess their feelings of love before the other person. Clearly, there are many ways guys hint they like you. With our help, you will be able to spot the signs that a man likes you romantically or gauge if the guy you love is also falling in love with you.
23 Hidden Signs A Man Is Falling In Love With You
Even though this study shows that men are just as emotional as women, they are still conditioned to appear tough and strong in front of others. They think, and rightfully so, that feeling ‘feminine’ emotions makes them vulnerable to hurt or mockery. But there are times when they let their guard down and let others in. And usually, it is someone they’re falling in love with.
There may be several signs he’s falling for you, but hiding it. This is why we have with us a list of 23 hidden signs a man is falling in love with you. If you’re trying to gauge whether the guy you want wants you back, here’s how you can check if he has love on his mind.
1. You are his priority
This makes it to the top of the list of hidden signs a man is falling in love with you. Priorities are nothing but a list of things/people sorted according to the hierarchy of perceived importance. And if you suddenly find yourself on top of that list, then it could be because he’s falling for you. He’s starting to catch those pesky little things called ‘feelings’.
He makes sure to check in with you in the morning and then again at night before you both go to sleep If you have a problem, he will have a solution ready before you even finish telling him the problem He takes your opinion before making important decisions and actually listens to your input
If you’re wondering how to tell if someone loves you but is hiding it, this is your answer.
2. He wants your advice about his life
This is one of the major ways guys hint they like you, so don’t miss out on this one. It is also one of the cutest things men do when they’re falling for someone. He will start asking you for your thoughts and advice about his life and the things that are important to him. This is because he values your opinions.
This is an important sign because usually, men prefer to have autonomy in their decision-making. So if the special man in your life suddenly starts involving you in his decision-making process, that means you’ve become an indispensable part of his life.
Ah, the universal sign of love — remembering little things about your loved one. It is also one of the most important signs he’s falling for you but hiding it. So, if your man has started to notice the little inconspicuous details about you, details even you never noticed, it is time you realize he likes you.
He notices that you tend to frown when you’re stressed
He knows your favorite song from when you were in high school
He knows that ice cream is your comfort food
He notices what sets you off and avoids doing that
He notices your fashion style and gets the perfect gifts for you
Remember, true love is not always about huge gestures like rushing to the airport to propose to your partner, it is more about the little things. So, if the man in your life starts to remember such details about you, it should be time for you to dance around in happiness. After all, you only remember this stuff about the people you love, right?
4. He starts being protective of you
If he starts trying to protect you from even the smallest of things, it’s a sign he’s falling for you. Accordion to a study, men tend to protect their loved ones from everything since they’re naturally protective. And if this protection has extended to you as well, this is the sign you’re looking for. You now occupy a place on that list of loved ones.
It doesn’t matter if he’s doing it to make you feel more comfortable in the environment you’re in or if he’s trying to shield you from oncoming traffic, both situations have one thing in common – he is developing feelings for you. One of the clearest signs a man is falling in love is his tendency of protecting his partner.
5. He compliments you
According to a study from the University of Kansas — The Verbal and Nonverbal Correlates of the Five Flirting Styles – every person has a different tactic for communicating attraction and a different flirting style. There is a fine line between complimenting and flirting, but that doesn’t mean you should mistake one for the other. If your man is complimenting you, don’t jump to the wrong conclusions and misunderstand it as flirting.
That said, you do need to figure out if your man is leaving a genuine sign that he secretly likes you, or if it is aimless flirting. Compliments that are directed toward things about you that very few people notice usually portray genuine interest. Such compliments can surely be taken as hidden signs a man is falling in love with you.
6. He drops everything just to meet you
When you’re in love, you find ways to be with your loved one no matter what. If your man spends all his free time with you, he surely has a soft spot for you. But if he starts to prioritize meeting you over everything else, to the point of dropping everything just to meet you, it’s a sign he’s falling for you but hiding it. He might even subconsciously pencil you in amidst a busy schedule because he “just wanted to see you”.
Also, notice how he reacts when you’re in distress. Nothing is more important than when the person you’re in love with needs you. So, if he starts to push everything aside to offer you support, he has fallen for you.
7. He wants to know your future plans and supports your dreams
If in the middle of a stupid conversation, he stops and asks you about your future plans, it’s because he thinks you guys are meant to be together and he’s planning to have you in his life permanently. He is planning his future around you and is trying to see if you’re on the same page as him.
Not just that, he will also care about your goals and help you feel more confident about achieving them. He will start investing in them too. So, if he’s starting to take a newfound interest in your ambitions, it’s time to sit and talk about your future together.
8. He tries his best to make you happy
Liv, a reader from Ohio, recalls how they realized their partner is in love with them, “No matter his mood or how he was feeling, his first priority would be to ensure I’m feeling better. It didn’t matter if I’m sad, mad, stressed, or depressed, he would free up some time to help me when I’m struggling.”
When a man loves you, he will help you overcome your pain and do his best to improve your mood like this:
He will goof around just to make you laugh
He will send you long paragraphs with cute texts to get you in a good mood
He will bring you your favorite snacks and chocolates to cheer you up
He will hug you tightly and try to get you to smile
He will listen to your problems and let you vent to him
Do you want to know why he does this? It’s because a man will stay restless as long as the person he loves is upset. So, the first thing he’ll do is to ensure he’s there to support you and he knows how to make a girl laugh.
9. You feel a deeper connection forming in your relationship
True love involves connection, that’s a no-brainer – a deep and wide connection that ensures you both understand each other intimately. This usually manifests in multiple facets of his life and will not always be very obvious. Men tend to integrate their partners into their lives if they see potential in a relationship.
For example, he might ask you to meet his friends or family, start bringing you to his favorite activities and ask you to stop by the office. This list is not exhaustive, nor is it limited to just these actions.
10. He picks up thoughtful gifts for you
According to a study, gift-giving is a means through which individuals communicate the value they assign to their loved ones. When someone loves and values you, they tend to show it by picking up thoughtful gifts for you. So, this happens to be one of the many things guys do when they secretly like you.
He also keeps himself up to date on these little things about you to ensure the gifts are truly thoughtful and something you will actually appreciate. When a man falls in love, he tries to spoil the person he is in love with to the best of his ability.
If you’re unsure of whether he is exhibiting this sign, just lay out all the gifts he’s given you and see if they’re meaningful or not. If they’re a result of something you mentioned to him in passing and he turned up at your doorstep with that thoughtful present in tow, then we don’t need to explain anymore, do we?
One very obvious way to show you care about someone is to try and take part in their hobbies and interests. So, if your man is trying to enjoy the things you are into, then this is one of the hidden signs a man is falling in love with you.
One of the many things guys do when they secretly like you is to enquire about your passions and hobbies. Participating in your favorite activities with you will make him happy as he gets to see you smiling and content. This means that if he has to sit through a 2-hour documentary on penguins and their varied habitats just because you want to watch it, he will happily do so.
12. You’re the one who receives the good news first
When something good happens, his first instinct is to call you. Even if it’s as small as him finding a dollar on the floor, you’re the first person he will want to tell about it. So if you find yourself suddenly bombarded with calls or texts so he can tell you what happened that day, it’s your sign to understand he likes you.
13. He can tell you’re upset without you saying it
He will always be able to tell whether you’re sad or happy just by your tone or your body language. And then, he will make an effort to ensure your bad mood doesn’t linger. One of the hidden signs he is possessed by love is that he is picking up on the subtle signs to gauge your emotions.
When Roxanne started falling for Steve, she would spend days agonizing over whether he liked her or not. But when he started being able to tell when she was upset without her having to say it, she knew he reciprocated her feelings. “When a man starts to fall for you, he becomes more connected to you. And so he will start showcasing this superpower of recognizing your mood without you having to utter a single word. You only pay this much attention to someone you’re in love with, right?” she says.
14. He loves to spend quality time with you
Craving your presence becomes the norm when a guy starts to fall in love with you. And if he expresses the need to spend some more quality time with you, it’s a huge sign he’s falling for you. In a world full of people governed by unrealistic expectations, his wanting to spend quality time with you is a spectacular sign of his feelings.
He will find ways to talk to you, he will find excuses to be with you, and he will plan activities you both can do together. All these are ways of spending quality time together with you and a sign that he is falling in love with you.
One of the greatest signs a man is falling in love with you is that he suddenly develops a brighter outlook on life. A study on the neurobiology of love indicates that the feeling of love deactivates regions of the brain associated with negative emotions, social judgment, and ‘mentalizing’.
Love happens to be one of the most powerful and optimistic forces on the planet. So even if he used to be a moody and grumpy man before this, he’ll suddenly turn into the happiest man on earth, a man who never sees the glass half empty. Because as the positive emotions start to take a hold of him, the negative ones would start to bid adieu.
16. He rarely uses his phone around you
This is one of the best ways to figure out if he is romantically interested in you or not. When someone is trying to avoid conversation with you, the first thing to come out will be the phone. But if someone cares deeply about you, about what you have to say, and about having a quality conversation with you, the phone will never leave their pocket.
So, if he only brings out the phone in case of emergencies, it’s a pretty sure sign that he is falling in love with you. His focus will be on you, never on his phone and he will be completely engrossed in talking to you.
17. He loves your quirks
Everybody has their quirks. If he doesn’t run as fast as he can after hearing that you drink ketchup straight out of the packet, he’s the one! If he finds it endearing and charming, that is even better.
Plenty of guys will find your first date nerves cute and funny. But if you reveal your weird quirks on the fifth date and he still finds you cute and funny, it’s because he’s starting to fall for you. And if his reaction is laughing his head off at all the weirdness, it’s a telling sign that he is starting to fall in love with you and understands you very well.
18. His future plans include you
When he starts to talk about his future goals with you and asks what you think about them, he’s trying to see where you stand. He’s checking to see if you’d place yourself right next to him in those plans or not.
Does he tell you about where he pictures himself in the next five years?
Has he started talking about what his career goals look like?
Does he talk about raising his own family?
When men talk about their plans, they’re giving a sign that they’re ready to move forward and settle down with you. So if your boyfriend has started mapping out his future and talking to you about it, it is because he sees you with him.
19. He doesn’t play games with you
You know what they say: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. That’s what happens when someone resorts to games and dirty tricks in relationships. If a guy is actually in love with you, he will be straightforward with you. He won’t make you jump through hoops and baskets to understand whether he loves you or not.
He will leave clear signs that he likes you, and he will make the necessary effort and ask you out. He will do everything to include you in his life and will be honest if he doesn’t have the time to answer your calls or texts.
Some people love receiving hugs, and some hate it. Some find it endearing when their partner gives them gifts, while some prefer words of affirmation instead. All this is just to say that everyone has a different love language and if you truly care about your partner, you make an effort to learn what it is. So, if you find a guy speaking your love language often, and intentionally, it is one of the hidden signs that a man is falling in love with you.
Men pay attention to your love language when they want to make you feel content and comfortable. Whether your love language is acts of service, words of affirmation, or physical touch, if he’s speaking it, he’s trying to send a message that he cares about you.
21. He can be himself around you
When we love someone, we tend to be completely comfortable around them. So, if your partner is not afraid to be himself around you, it’s a pretty good sign that he’s starting to fall in love with you.
If he’s truly in love with you, he will not hesitate before dipping his fries into ice cream. He knows he can be himself around you without worrying about you judging him.
22. He starts to be more present
When a man really falls in love with you, he will start paying more attention to you. He will be more present with you and his focus will be completely on you. You’ll get out-of-the-blue kisses, you’ll find him giving you all his attention even if you’re just telling a joke. All these are signs he’s falling for you.
An increase in his presence means an upgrade in your relationship. Men don’t usually invest in people unless they’re interested in them. So, if he starts to be more present with you without you having to pester him about it, it’s because he sees a future with you.
We saved the trump card for the last — he starts to get jealous. If you need to be absolutely sure about his feelings for you, try to bring out his jealous side and see what happens.
Does he get jealous just because some other man wants to spend time with you? Does he get jealous every time you talk to your ex? Jealousy can be a great tool in your arsenal if you don’t know how to tell if someone loves you but is hiding it. So, use this tool (but just once) and be doubly sure whether he likes you or not.
Key Pointers
Whether you see physical signs a man is in love with you, or you can only catch some subtle hints, if you can tick off multiple signs from this list, then you can reach the conclusion that he does have a romantic inclination toward you
It can be a little hard to tell when a man falls in love, but if you pay attention to the way he expresses care for you, you’ll know
Guys who are falling for you would prioritize you, enjoy the things that you do, love spending time with you, love your quirks, include you in their future plans, and speak your love language
The purpose of this blog is to help you identify the signs he secretly loves you. So, when you spot even a few of these, communicate with him so you both can take the next step in your relationship.
A word of caution though: Don’t take these signs to be the ultimate proof of his love for you. You can’t confirm your suspicions without proper communication. After spotting the hidden signs a man is falling in love with you, talk to him and find out if it’s true.
