Category: Dating & Love

 

You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.

#1. You Don’t Match the Picture In His Head

Do you carry a specific picture in your mind of the man you’d like to spend the rest of your life with?

Most of us do so it shouldn’t be surprising when I tell you men do as well.

In fact, when a man contacts you, it’s because he believes that you and the picture in his head just might be a match.

The two of you spend hours on the phone.

He starts talking out loud sharing thoughts with you like, “We’ll have to get you out here on one of my horses,” or “Let’s try out the latest Japanese restaurant in your area since you love sushi so much.”

His picture is working overtime, thinking you might be the one and you get excited thinking maybe he’s right for you too!

Then the two of you meet.

And within minutes he’s decided you aren’t a match to the picture of the woman he wants, so the second date doesn’t happen.

When this happens, don’t take it personally.

He’s not rejecting you.

You just don’t match the picture in his mind of who he thinks he wants.

This is why you want to limit the number of emails you exchange to 5-10 max and the time you spend on the phone to 1 or 2 calls max prior to meeting a new man.

You don’t want to get yourself emotionally invested in an imaginary relationship with a man you have yet to meet.

#2. You Have Sex With A Man Too Quickly!

You meet a man, the chemistry is hot and as the date ends, the two of you start kissing and kissing and kissing some more.

Hands start roving all over the place and you find yourself in the back seat of the car having sex with a man you’ve only known a couple of hours.

You’re both on fire.

In this moment, it feels good and it feels right.

When it’s over, he kisses you and says, “I’ll call you” but he doesn’t.

Why? The sex was too easy for him to get.

Men categorize the women they date into two groups.

The first is the women they play with, as in first date sex or friends with benefits situations.

It’s easy sex, it’s fun for him but that’s all it is.

Then there is the second category, the woman he considers as potential relationship material.

This is where he thinks the two of you might be a match.

So if you want to make it to category number two, promise yourself, even when your hormones are raging, that you’ll slow it down.

There are all kinds of reasons men don’t call back… Some are as silly as a mannerism you display that reminds him of his ex.

Save yourself a lot of date analysis and evaluation by not taking a first date personally and by not being invested in how it’s going to turn out.

If it’s meant to be, it will be.

And if it’s not, chalk it up to an opportunity to spend some time with a new and interesting person that day that might make a great male friend on Saturday nights when you don’t have a date.

Now to inspire you that you too, can find love after 50!

Lisa . . . Just a note to say thank you. Your teaching had a profound effect on the way I dated over the last almost two years. I have used your advise in countless interactions with men. Met (by text and in-person) many different men. Some very nice and some not. Dated one potential partner for 6 months until thanks to what I learned from you, I finally realized that we were not matched in three important areas. Now dating an amazing man. We are the same age and activity level. We match intellectually, emotionally and physically. We are taking this relationship very slowly, building what I believe Could be, May be, Hope is, a long term committed relationship. Thank you for your help, guidance and support as I committed to the effort of meeting my guy. Angela, Texas

Would you love having a good man in your life like Angela now has?

Imagine . . .  no more searching for Mr. Right.

No more wondering where can I find him?

And waking up every morning with that love and sweetness in your life.

If this sounds amazing, just click here and let’s set up a time to talk and see how we can make this happen for you.

Believing in you!

Big hugs ~

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Copyright© 2023 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.

On March 1, 2023   /   Dating After 50, Understanding Men after 50  

Nothing can break one’s heart as quickly as finding out the person they loved only pretended to feel the same way. Rejection does not hurt as much as deception, and that is why fake love is so dangerous. Opening up to someone and being vulnerable with them only for them to turn out to be fake is bound to leave you averse to future relationships. However, faking love is a cruel thing to do and so it is not your fault by any means. This is why it’s important to not let them win and to keep yourself open to finding love.

 

Read a curated list of fake love quotes to help give you the strength needed to glue your broken heart back together. 

marriagehelper2023-03-01T06:00:00-06:00

Did you know you could find out if there’s trouble in paradise by looking at a couple’s body language? If not all, then most marriages go through a loveless phase which makes the body language of unhappy married couples very apparent. A research paper on body language talks about how important and effective body language is while connecting with other people.

The research says, “Body language is a significant aspect of modern communications and relationships. Body language describes the method of communicating using body movements or gestures instead of, or in addition to, verbal language.”

Body Language Of Unhappy Married Couples — 13 Cues Your Marriage Is Not Working

Body language simply means the use of nonverbal cues, gestures, eye contact, appearance, and touch to convey your thoughts, feelings, or state of mind. It’s how your body reacts and communicates to people around you. For example, looking at your partner’s eyes and smiling at them is one of the signs of positive love language. Below are some indicators of the negative body language of unhappy married couples.

1. Sighing all the time 

One of the signs a woman is unhappy in her marriage is when she sighs at everything her husband says or does. Likewise, when a husband sighs all the time, it is one of the tell-tale signs a man is unhappy in his marriage. Body language can also be found in a partner’s intonation as well. Sigh is a physical manifestation of suppressed frustration and vexation. It comes out audibly when someone is annoyed, disappointed, or tired. 

Rachel, an interior designer from New Jersey, says, “I knew it was over when I stopped hearing him talk without a sigh. It was depressing. When I pointed it out to him and asked if he wasn’t in love with me anymore, he changed the topic.”

2. Avoiding eye contact

Eye contact is sensual, intimate, and lets your partner know that you are there for them. A study by body language experts says that looking into someone’s eyes will make you significantly more aroused than looking at someone whose gaze is averted.

Lack of eye contact is another prominent aspect of the body language of unhappy married couples. This doesn’t mean you and your partner have to spend time staring at each other. But when you talk about something and they aren’t looking you in the eye, then they are deliberately failing to meet your gaze. This suggests they are either hiding something or are emotionally disconnected from you. 

Related Reading: First Year Marriage Problems: 5 Things Newly-Wed Couples Fight About

3. Being physically distant from each other

When you’re in love with your partner, you want to touch them. Not just sexually but also as a way of creating physical intimacy by holding their hand, grazing their thigh, or rubbing their cheek. Touch symbolizes closeness in a relationship. When you or your partner make it a point to avoid touching each other, it’s one of the stages of a dying marriage. 

This is also evident in the body language of unhappy couples in photos when they are sitting on the same couch but far away from each other or their bodies are pointing in different directions. 

We’ve all seen how cripplingly awkward Donald Trump and Melania’s body language is as a couple. There are so many iconic incidents where Trump attempts to hold Melania’s hands. Her hand swat became a viral sensation. While we don’t know the full context, neither of them seems happy in the relationship. 

4. Not being open to hugging each other 

Another significant indicator of body language of unhappy married couples is when a partner locks their elbows when the other is trying to hug or embrace them. There are ways to tell if a hug is romantic. When you look at a couple who are hesitant or resist themselves from embracing each other, it’s one of the signs they are not happy in their relationship.

A Reddit user shares how their partner’s body language made them realize they aren’t happy in the marriage. The user shared, “Over the years my husband’s affection has been dwindling to the point where he outright rejects me touching him and vice versa. If I want to hug him or kiss him, he pushes me away, not in a mean way, just doesn’t seem to want any affection from me at all.”

When we embrace someone, our body produces endorphins. They are chemicals that help us destress. It produces feelings of happiness and euphoria. Hugging also releases oxytocin, which is commonly known as the “love hormone”. If a married couple is unhappy, they will barely hug each other. 

5. Furrowed eyebrows conveying disdain

According to a journal on facial expressions, a furrowed brow and a lifted chin conveys a mix of anger, disgust, and contempt. These emotions are used to show negative moral judgment. This body language of an unhappy married couple hints at criticism and contempt toward a partner. 

The next time you are looking for the body language of unhappy couples in photos or up close, look at their eyebrows. If either of them has furrowed brows, then there is some kind of hostility between them. 

Related Reading: 33 Most Romantic Things To Do For Your Wife

6. Crossed arms that convey you’re being shut out

If your partner crosses their arms frequently around you, then it’s a sign of stress. When you are in love with someone, you will rarely cross your arms when you’re with them. An open posture is a sign of trust. If a married couple is unhappy, it is not uncommon to see either one or both partners cross their arms, especially during an argument or conflict. This is one of the top unhappy marriage signs that you need to know.

Natalie, a software engineer from Chicago, says, “Whenever my partner and I would have an argument, he would always cross his arms. I later found out that crossing arms is a sign of putting one’s guard up, which is not a good thing in an intimate relationship.”

7. Eye-rolling signals contempt

Eye rolling is another non-verbal body language of unhappy married couples, which indicates disapproval, annoyance, contempt, and cynicism. All these things poison a relationship. If you say something and your partner finds it annoying, they may roll their eyes at you. 

If a married couple is unhappy, this tendency to roll eyes at each other becomes far too common. According to renowned psychologist John Gottman, contemptuous behavior like eye-rolling, sarcasm and name-calling is the number one predictor of divorce.  

8. Leaning away indicates emotional distance 

When you feel attracted to someone, you often tend to lean in their direction. Emotional intimacy is reflected by physical closeness. A partner leaning away from the other when talking to them or when watching a movie together is one of the signs a woman is unhappy in her marriage or a man is feeling emotionally distant from his spouse.

9. Biting or pursing lips a lot

Biting lips are often a sign of anxiety, stress, and uncertainty. By biting their lips, a person is trying to stop themselves from saying something or holding their feelings back. The body language of unhappy couples in photos as well as in real life can be noticed by the way they bite or purse their lips.

According to Changing Minds, “Pursed lips are a classic sign of anger, including when it is suppressed. It is effectively holding the mouth shut to prevent the person from saying what they feel like saying. This may also be an indication of lying or withholding the truth as the person stops themselves from telling the truth.”

Related Reading: 11 Signs You Are Single In A Relationship

 10. Unhappy couples walk out of sync

When you’re in love with someone, you catch yourself mirroring their habits. You unintentionally pick up their way of saying certain words or their hand gestures. When you and your partner are walking out of rhythm, it’s the body language of unhappy married couples.

Tania, a dietician in her early 30s, says, “My partner and I used to have this indescribable connection where we would walk together, feet side by side. He suddenly began to either walk faster or slower, never in sync like we used to be. When our walking pattern got disturbed, that’s when I knew we were heading toward the end.”

 11. Comforting touch is missing from the equation

Let’s say you have just shared concern or you’re upset over something, instead of consoling you and comforting you by grabbing your hand or rubbing your back, they just sit there, listening to you talk. When any or all kinds of touch are terminated, that’s when you know your relationship is doomed. It’s one of the signs you are in a one-sided relationship. If one person in the relationship isn’t reciprocating your efforts, feelings, and love, then it’s a glaring sign they don’t want to be in the relationship.

 12. Smirking at them 

There’s only a thin line between a smile and a smirk. A smile is genuine, whereas a smirk is a smile disguised as offensive smugness. When your wife smirks at you every time you say something, it’s one of the signs a woman is unhappy in her marriage. Likewise, a scornful look from a man is considered an insult that expresses arrogance, disdain, and mockery. It screams maliciousness. That’s why body language and its role in healthy relationships shouldn’t be taken lightly.

 13. You are always distracted

One of the stages of a dying marriage is when you find yourself distracted. When your spouse is talking to you, you find your mind wandering away. Or you are on your phone scrolling through social media and you don’t seem to remember the things they tell you. This tendency to be distracted and distant can be seen in both partners who are unhappy in their marriage.

Verbal communication isn’t the only kind of communication that takes place in a relationship. You need to read between the lines to acknowledge what’s actually happening, listen to your partner’s silence, and pay attention to their body language. By understanding your partner’s body language, you can easily comprehend their moods and emotions. If you are picking up signs that your significant other isn’t happy in the relationship, then it’s time to improve your communication skills and work toward repairing the relationship. 

FAQs

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If he loves you, he will come back no matter what! Yes, it’s as true as it gets. The magnetic pull of attraction, love, and yearning is so strong that you just can’t stay away from someone you love. If there is genuine care and mutual love from both sides, then he is probably waiting for the right opportunity to enter your life again. Will an ex come back if he loves you? Well, like we said, true love always has a habit of coming back.

But it’s agonizing to sit lonely, waiting for him to come to his senses. You love him and you don’t know where to look for the spiritual signs he will come back and ease your anxious mind. Don’t worry, we’ve got your back during this stressful time. Read along and find out some of the signs he loves you and wants to come back.

If He Loves You He Will Come Back No Matter What! What’s Your Situation Like? 

Noelle Nelson, psychologist and author, suggests in this study, “Since your relationship didn’t work out the first time, something has to change to make it work the second time around. Otherwise, the same conflicts that caused so much trouble will re-emerge. Each partner has to understand and be willing to work on whatever caused the breakup in the first place.” 

If you don’t figure out why he left you, then you will never be able to find out how to rectify your mistakes or confront the ones he made. When a guy pulls away, there are various reasons for it. Listed below are some instances that could have made him feel like this relationship was too much for him to handle. 

1. You tried to “fix” him 

Isn’t it always easier to look at other people’s flaws and judge them for their shortcomings? Perhaps you did this to your boyfriend and he didn’t like it. When you were together, did you always talk about his mistakes and tell him how he could become a better person? If this is something you often did, then he probably felt suffocated in the relationship and decided to walk out.

You need to know one person can never change another. Everyone is different and that’s each person’s superpower. You just have to understand how you and your partner can live together without each other’s inadequacies creating a wall between the two of you. 

Related Reading: Dating For 3 Months? What To Expect And Things To Know

2. He left because the relationship was codependent 

Will he come back? Not if the relationship was codependent and everything became one-sided. Such a relationship can never work. One person can’t let go of their wishes, needs, and happiness just to see the other person get their needs fulfilled. If you relied heavily on him, he must have felt burdened and that’s why he left. Perhaps it was the other way around. He made you responsible for his happiness and you just couldn’t take it anymore. Here are some signs to help you figure out if it was a codependent relationship: 

• You always felt like he didn’t deserve you, but couldn’t let go of him either
• You made him responsible for your happiness and unhappiness, or he did the same with you
• Perhaps he realized he was being overly dependent on you and decided to take a step back to heal
• You or he have low self-esteem
• There were no healthy boundaries in your relationship 

3. The two of you were just casually dating 

Savannah, a 26-year-old woman from Ohio, says, “I want to know if you are meant to be with someone, will they come back? Because my boyfriend and I dated for three months. We didn’t talk about exclusive dating even though I am madly in love with him. I gave him hints that I was ready to commit but he didn’t catch any of those signs. Perhaps that was deliberate because he didn’t want to commit.” 

If there were no talks of commitment and no monogamy agreement between the two of you, then this could be one of the reasons that he didn’t think twice before leaving you. He doesn’t know about your feelings yet. If you really want him back, then you can reach out to him and convey your feelings – clearly, this time. 

4. His ex came back 

He left because his ex came back. You can’t do anything here. Your friends are right if they advise you to let him go to hell. He clearly never stopped loving his ex when he was with you. Why bother with someone like that? Here are some signs he was never over his ex that you probably didn’t detect:

• He never told you how the two of them broke up
• His phone was filled with their pictures 
• He was active on his ex’s social media posts, but hardly interacted with yours 
• He compared you to his ex sometimes 
• He never really opened up to you emotionally 

5. He thought you aren’t compatible enough 

“If he loves me why does he stay away?” Because he thinks the two of you aren’t compatible enough to have a long-term relationship. When the initial attraction and chemistry phase fades, it’s compatibility that holds a relationship. Perhaps he never thought you were compatible enough to be his romantic partner.

Compatibility includes personal views, interests, religious and spiritual beliefs, goals, insights, and ideologies. When you don’t have much in common with your partner, the relationship is soon going to feel forced. 

Related Reading: 13 Ways To Get Back With Your Ex

11 Definite Signs He Will Come Back If He Loves You

John Legend and Chrissy Teigen, one of the most adored couples, took a break in 2007. The All Of Me singer said that he was really stressed and busy and wanted to take a break. That break lasted for less than a day. This right here is the definition of true love. If he is the John Legend to your Chrissy Teigen, then he will come back no matter what! However, it’s always the waiting period that tests a person’s patience more than anything else. So, it’s time you stop wallowing in sadness, and look out for these signs that will assure you he is going to come back:

1. He contacts you frequently

This is one of the sureshot ways to tell if he will return or not. Some exes initiate contact to check on their ex, to find out if they are doing well after a breakup because there is genuine care between them. However, if he has been frequently contacting you, then it’s one of the signs he loves you and will come back no matter what.

2. He is curious about your life 

There’s a fine line between asking someone how they are doing and being actively curious about their life. He is suddenly asking about your friends, your pet, and your parents. He is even curious about your job. This is one of the signs he is lonely and is trying to see if you are still interested in him by building a conversation.

3. He wants to know if you are dating someone 

When an ex is becoming inquisitive about your love life, it’s one of the signs he will be back. He wants to see if you are single so he can ask you out on a date. Here are some other things he will do to find out if you are single or taken:

• He will check your social media posts 
• He will ask your friends if you’re single
• He will still be in contact with your siblings to know what’s happening in your life

Related Reading: Top 16 Symbols Of Love With Their Meanings

4. He will try to make you jealous 

Andrea, an entrepreneur from New York, asks Bonobology, “When a guy leaves you for another girl will he come back? He is posting pictures with her. He met her after we stopped dating but I still like him.” 

If he left you for his ex, then he may not come back. However, if this is someone he just started dating, then he will come back – if he is just trying to make you feel jealous. If he hasn’t blocked you yet, then it’s clear he either wants to upset you or wants you to make the first move. If you notice some of the other signs on this list in his behavior as well, then he’s definitely hoping to get you back by making you jealous. 

5. He is always ready to help you 

If he loves you he will come back no matter what. And coming to your rescue whenever you are in trouble is one of the biggest spiritual signs he will come back, as he clearly still has feelings for you. Let’s say, the two of you parted ways a couple of months back, but he is still ready to help you out in every way. Why? Because it’s true love. 

Let us give you another example. The real-life love story of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel that’s no less than a fairy tale. The couple started dating in the year 2007 and took a break two years later. They reconnected after a relationship break and had an on-again-off-again relationship till the year 2012 when they tied the knot. And guess what? They recently renewed their vows too. So, yes. If you are meant to be with someone, the entire universe will conspire in helping you achieve that.

6. He is talking about the good old days

Remember the time we went to the zoo and fed the giraffe? Remember how we binge-watched The Crown in one night? By reminiscing about the good times, he is giving you a clear indication that he misses having fun with you. If he brings up the happy memories every time the two of you talk, it’s one of the obvious signs he still loves you and wants to come back. 

7. He is sorry about the breakup 

George, a 28-year-old med student from Chicago, asks Bonobology, “If you are meant to be with someone will they come back after the breakup?” Yes. If your boyfriend is suddenly apologetic about the events that led to the breakup, then it’s one of the signs he wants to reconcile. If you feel the same way about it, then you can apologize for your part as well and give this relationship another chance. 

8. He leans on you for support 

He used to rely on you for support when the two of you were together. Now that you have broken up, why is he still looking for your shoulder to cry on? His need for emotional support from you is one of the signs he still finds you comforting and wants to come back into your life. If you truly want him back, then this is your chance to express genuine care. 

Is he still drunk-texting you and using alcohol as an excuse to flirt with you? It’s one of the signs your ex is falling for you again. Maybe he got drunk and started going through the pictures in his gallery. This prompted him to text you and pour his heart out. Perhaps he still has feelings for you. If you are in the same boat, then flirt back with him over text or in person and see if he’s willing to reconcile. 

Sal, a 22-year-old law intern from Los Angeles, shares, “Is my ex slowly coming back? He keeps texting me when he’s drunk. He tries to flirt with me. He also sends flirty snaps. He’s still single. I am seeing someone else, but I am thinking about breaking up with him and getting back together with my ex.”

9. His body language screams that he still loves you

Pay close attention to his body language when he is interacting with you. It is one of the biggest indicators that if he loves you he will come back no matter what. Before he confesses to you, these body language signs will speak volumes of his love toward you: 

• He often touches you in a non-sexual way
• He won’t take his eyes off you
• When you’re together, he will mirror your body language
• One of the male body language signs of attraction is when he seems happy and cheerful when you are around
• He will give you his undivided attention even with the way he positions his body toward you

10. He is having a hard time after the breakup

If he is lonely, shows signs of sadness, and is struggling to cope with the breakup, then it’s evident he is having a hard time letting you go or perhaps he doesn’t want to let you go at all. When he realizes you are the only one he wants to be with, he will come running back to you. Here are some signs he is not ready to let you go:

• He keeps asking if you want to hang out with him 
• He frequently checks up on you to see how you are doing after the breakup 
• He says he is proud of you
• He constantly reassures you that he will try to make it work if he gets another chance 

Related Reading: 51 Questions To Determine How Well Do You Know Your Partner

11. He asks if you can give him a second chance

This is one of the no-nonsense signs he loves you and will come back no matter what. He will either ask you for a casual meet-up or he will directly ask you out on a date. He will take accountability for his part in the break up and he will promise you that he will not hurt you again. 

FAQs

Should I Give Him Another Chance – 9 Points To Consider

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Helen Flanagan is an English actress, model, and television personality. She was born on August 7, 1990, in Bury, Greater Manchester, England. Flanagan is best known for her role as Rosie Webster on the long-running British soap opera Coronation Street, which she played from 2000 to 2018.

Flanagan first appeared on television at the age of ten in the ITV drama series “Vet’s School” and went on to star in several other shows before landing her breakthrough role on Coronation Street. She has also appeared as a contestant on several reality shows, including I’m A Celebrity. Get Me Out Of Here!, Celebrity Super Spa, and Celebrity Big Brother.

In addition to her acting and reality TV work, Flanagan has ventured into the fashion industry, launching her own line of lingerie in 2014. She has been in a long-term relationship with professional footballer Scott Sinclair since 2009, and the couple has three children together.

Flanagan is known for her glamorous and often provocative fashion choices and candid social media presence. She has a large following on Instagram, frequently posting photos of herself and her family. Despite controversies throughout her career, Flanagan remains popular in British entertainment and continues pursuing various projects.

The former Coronation Street actress Helen Flanagan has reportedly turned to online dating after her recent breakup with her longtime partner Scott Sinclair. The couple, who had been together for over a decade and shared three children, announced their split in February.

Sources close to Flanagan say she has joined a popular dating app hoping to find a new partner. The actress has been open about her desire to move on from the relationship and start a new chapter in her life.

“Helen is excited to see what the world of online dating has to offer,” said a friend of the actress. “She’s been in a long-term relationship for so long that she’s never had the chance to explore the dating scene. She’s looking forward to meeting new people and seeing where things go.”

Flanagan is also known for her appearances on I’m A Celebrity. Get Me Out Of Here! and Celebrity Big Brother has been busy since the split. She recently launched her lingerie line and has been sharing glimpses of her life as a single mom on social media.

Fans have expressed their support for the actress, with many encouraging her to keep an open mind and have fun with the online dating experience. It remains to be seen who Flanagan will meet on the app, but one thing is certain. She’s ready to take on the world of digital dating.

Reference:  Helen Flanagan joins celeb dating app 

A Florida attorney is representing the fetus of a pregnant woman in prison, claiming that his client is being illegally detained and should be released.

It’s opening up a pathway for or against “personhood,” and Jess and Imani talk all about it. If a fetus is a person, shouldn’t every pregnant person in jail be released? But if a fetus isn’t a person, shouldn’t efforts to pass a “personhood” amendment in Florida fail?

Mentioned in this episode:

Rewire News Group is a nonprofit media organization, which means that Boom! Lawyered is only made possible by the support of listeners like you! If you can, please join our team by donating here.

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

 

Around 19% of US adults have an anxiety disorder. That’s about 40 million people. This means that — at one point or another — you may well find yourself dating someone with anxiety. So what should you expect, and how can you help?

Like any mental illness, anxiety can have challenging side effects if it’s not being acknowledged or treated in some manner. But, that certainly doesn’t mean that people with anxiety can’t have meaningful, good relationships. Let’s take a detailed dive into the topic of dating an anxious person including, how to date someone with anxiety, the different types to look out for, tips and advice, and much more.

First Things First: Learning About Anxiety Disorders

We all experience anxiety at some point in our lives. Whether it’s while trying to cope with those first date nerves or the dreaded feeling of speaking in front of a big group of people, feeling anxious is a normal reaction to stressful situations.

But, anxiety disorders tend to differ from these normal feelings of nervousness. One of the best ways you can offer support when dating someone with anxiety is to ensure you have a good understanding of what anxiety disorders are and the common types to look out for.

What are anxiety disorders?

Anxiety disorders are a type of mental health condition, typically characterized by significant and overwhelming feelings of nervousness and fear that make it difficult to get through the day.

It’s important to keep in mind that anxiety disorders are pretty common — it’s estimated that 31.1% of U.S. adults experience an anxiety disorder at some time in their lives. Experiencing this doesn’t make you a less attractive dater, nor does it mean that you can’t still form a real, meaningful relationship.

Types and symptoms of anxiety disorders

Anxiety presents itself in different ways for different people. This means that a big part of knowing how to date someone with anxiety is being aware of the common types and symptoms.

The most common types of anxiety disorders are:

• Generalized anxiety disorder

• Social anxiety disorder

• Panic order

• Phobias

• Separation anxiety disorder

• Agoraphobia

Some of the common symptoms of anxiety disorders include:

• Rapid heart rate

• Sweating

• Trembling or shaking

• Feeling of shortness of breath

• Chest pains

• Feeling dizzy, light-headed, or faint

• Nausea

• Numbness or tingling

• Chills or hot flashes

• Feeling detached

• Fear of losing

Anxiety disorders don’t have the same social stigma as they once did. This means that people are talking about them a lot more and there’s tons of information out there to help daters who’re feeling anxious.

You can find more in-depth information on the types and symptoms of anxiety disorders in the American Psychiatric Association’s detailed guide.

Knowing How to Date Someone With Anxiety: 7 Tips to Keep In Mind

Dating an anxious person can be challenging at times. But, there are plenty of great ways to support a partner and ensure that you both enjoy a lasting, meaningful relationship. Below, we’ve outlined seven tips for dating someone with anxiety.

1. Don’t treat it as anything other than a normal relationship

Dating someone with anxiety doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship will be harder than any other. All relationships have challenges and maybe this will be one of yours. It’s important to separate your partner from their disorder and remember that you’re dating a person, not an illness.

Always remembering that your partner is so much more than their anxiety will help to ensure that you approach things as caringly and compassionately as possible, in turn helping your partner to feel supported.

2. Remember It’s not always the same for everyone

Remember, it doesn’t make a difference if you’re dating a man with anxiety or dating a woman with anxiety – people are individuals. That means one person with anxiety won’t necessarily act like or have the same needs as the next.

Listen to your partner. Don’t brush aside their needs because you think it’s just their anxiety flaring up. Everybody is different, and these things can manifest themselves in different ways. For some people, symptoms can be physical. For others, it may be racing thoughts and feelings of disassociation.

3. Understand it’s different from having a stressed-out partner

Maybe your partner’s up for a big promotion and has been working 14-hour days? Or perhaps you’ve been dating a single parent whose child has just entered the terrible twos? These can be stressful situations, no doubt. But dating an anxious person is not the same as dating someone who’s stressed out.

Yes, stress can make anxiety way worse. But people with an anxiety disorder often feel anxious even when they can’t pinpoint why they’re anxious. Trying to tell your partner how to handle their stress level isn’t really going to help. In fact, it’s probably just going to hurt.

4. Learn what makes their anxiety worse

Two individuals may react differently to the same stimulus. To help your partner, sit down together and talk about their experience with anxiety, including what sets it off, what makes it worse, and what helps.

This way, you will be better equipped to help them settle down when they experience a spike in their anxiety levels. It’s far better to prepare in advance than to learn on the fly.

5. Encourage them to seek help

The best way to treat any anxiety disorder is to seek professional help. Common, effective treatments include therapy and anxiety medications. Depending on the individual, undertaking one, or a combination of, these treatments is a great way to help them to cope with their situation.

6. Keep in mind that you can’t force them to get help if they don’t want it

Unless you’re a licensed psychiatrist, the most you can do for your partner is encourage them to get help and offer your support while they do. If your partner doesn’t want to seek help, it’s important to respect their decision – you can’t force them into it. The best thing to do is continue to be supportive and understanding of their situation.

7. Don’t forget to take care of yourself

Being in a relationship with someone who has anxiety can be a challenge at times. While it’s undoubtedly hardest for the individual suffering from anxiety, it’s not easy for their partner either. This means that taking the time to look after yourself and practice self-care and self-love is more important than ever.

Dating Someone With Anxiety: Do’s and Don’ts

When it comes to knowing how to date someone with anxiety, being able to handle potentially difficult situations is key. A big part of this is knowing what to say and what not to say. Below, we’ve outlined some examples of both.

Things to do and say

When it comes down to it, the things you do and say will play a big role in helping your partner to manage their anxiety. Here are some ideas and phrases that can work effectively.

• Always listen: “I’m here and I’m ready to listen to you.”

• Acknowledge their anxiety: “I know that things feel overwhelming for you.”

• Recognize what they’re dealing with: “I understand that’s a lot for you to handle right now.”

• Reassure them: “Everything’s going to be OK.”

• Comfort them: “I’m here for whatever you need.”

• Acknowledge their progress on anxiety issues: “I’m so proud of you for the strength you’ve shown.”

• Offer support: “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Things not to do and say

Since the things you do and say can have a big impact on how your partner manages their anxiety, it’s also worthwhile keeping in mind the things to avoid. We’ve laid out some of these below.

• Criticize them for feeling anxious: “Why are you always freaking out all the time?”

• Be dismissive of how they’re feeling: “That doesn’t make any sense.”

• Get angry or aggressive: “Just be quiet and calm down!”

• Take their behavior too personally: “Why are you always getting annoyed at me?”

• Try to be their therapist: “If I were you, I’d just do this…”

Dating Someone With Anxiety: Create a Real, Meaningful Relationship

Being in a relationship with someone who has anxiety can be genuinely special. Yes, it might come with a few extra challenges but that doesn’t mean that you can’t still form a meaningful connection with your partner. In fact, learning how to understand, support, and communicate effectively while dating an anxious person can help to create an even stronger and deeper bond.

When dating someone with anxiety is to always remain supportive and understanding and encourage your partner to seek professional help when you feel it’s needed. With the right steps, the relationship will be truly joyful and long-lasting!

 

 

On this week’s podcast, we are joined by Daniel Maté.

In addition to co-writing recent New York Times bestseller The Myth of Normal with his father, Dr. Gabor Maté, Daniel is a composer, lyricist, playwright, podcaster, artist, musician, and mental chiropractor – a current day renaissance man.

Hear about how Daniel relates to his father, his experience growing up with Maté privilege, and how he contextualizes the complexities of the parent-child relationship psychologically while providing us with insightful reframes that speak to how we relate to our parents as adults.

A few quotes from the book we feel compelled to share with you in hopes of inspiring you to read/listen to the book:

“Trauma, until we work it through, keeps us stuck in the past, robbing us of the present moment’s riches, limiting who we can be.”

“What joys have you denied yourself out of a belief that you don’t deserve them, or out of a conditioned fear that they’ll be snatched away?”

“Whether we realize it or not, it is our woundedness, or how we cope with it, that dictates much of our behavior, shapes our social habits, and informs our ways of thinking about the world.”

“Time after time it was the “nice” people, the ones who compulsively put other’s expectations and needs ahead of their own and who repressed their so-called negative emotions, who showed up with chronic illness in my family practice, or who came under my care at the hospital palliative ward I directed.”

“Chronic rage, by contrast, floods the system with stress hormones long past the allotted time. Over the long term, such a hormonal surplus, whatever may have instigated it, can make us anxious or depressed; suppress immunity; promote inflammation; narrow blood vessels, promoting vascular disease throughout the body;”

“It doesn’t matter whether we can point to other people who seem more traumatized than we are, for there is no comparing suffering. Nor is it appropriate to use our own trauma as a way of placing ourselves above others—“You haven’t suffered like I have”—or as a cudgel to beat back others’ legitimate grievances when we behave destructively. We each carry our wounds in our own way; there is neither sense nor value in gauging them against those of others.”

“Like our other needs, meaning is an inherent expectation. Its denial has dire consequences. Far from a purely psychological need, our hormones and nervous systems clock its presence or absence. As a medical study in 2020 found, the “presence [of] and search for meaning in life are important for health and well-being.” Simply put, the more meaningful you find your life, the better your measures of mental and physical health are likely to be.

Order The Myth of Normal:Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture by Dr. Gabor Maté & Daniel Maté here.

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Love – a beautiful word, a beautiful feeling, one that we have all felt in various forms at various points in our lives. The care and feelings you have for your father, your mother, your pet, your friends, family, work, and your partner – it’s all love. But you know it well, your love for each one of them is very different from another. The question is which one of these can you call agape love? 

It’s said, a mother’s love is the purest form of love. Love without expectations, its unconditional love, the sacrificial love, one that you call divine love. Above all other forms of love that exist, it’s agape love. Can love between two romantic partners mimic these qualities? Can couples aspire to love in its highest and purest form? And should they? Let’s take a closer look at agape love and its place in modern relationships to understand. 

What Is Agape Love?

Agape is a Greek word, agapē. Pronounced as uh-gah-pay, agape love is spread throughout the New Testament with different variations. The term has a very simple and beautiful meaning the essence of which is captured in Jesus’ love for humankind, and his children. Hence, it is also known as God’s love. 

There are many types of love but agape represents the love Jesus Christ displayed for His father and His followers. It is considered to be the highest form of love ever witnessed. It is selfless and sacrificial. Agape is the love you have for someone without any expectations in return. The feeling that makes you happy to sacrifice, that teaches you to be selfless and put the needs and good of your loved one above yourself. 

The unconditional love Jesus Christ displayed for his followers, represented by the cross, where he sacrificed himself for the sins of those he loved is what agape is. It’s much more than just a feeling, it’s about actually caring and showing this love and care with your actions. We know agape love as God’s love, it’s not only because of the love Jesus Christ displayed through His sacrifice. But as the Bible says, God’s all-encompassing and unconditional love for the world made him send his only Son, Jesus Christ to save us all. 

Related Reading: Is Unconditional Love In A Relationship Really Possible? 12 Signs You Have It

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16, ESV) Accordingly to Aristotle’s theory, presented in the paper The Philosophy and Social Science of Agape Love in the Journal of Theoretical and Philosophical Psychology, this is one of the derived definitions of Agape – “From a virtue-ethics position, the Essence or Species is this: Agape love is a moral virtue in which a person willingly and unconditionally offers goodness, at a cost to the giver, to another or others in need.”

Now that we are talking about agape love, it is important to know all other types of love and what makes agape not only different but the highest form of love. 

• Eros: Eros stands for sensual and romantic love. The word erotic was derived from Eros. It appeals to the sexual desires of a person and leads to erotic love. Lovers are attracted to each other, fulfilling each other’s critical needs in a relationship for sensual and sexual love
•  Philia: Philia explains your love for your friends. Friendship love has always been considered the happiest form of love. In simple terms, Philia is the type of love that helps people bond over similar interests, passions, stories, and other things
•  Storge: Other words for Storge can be affection and familial love, the one we share with our family members. This love is because of familiarity and shared blood instead of desires or shared interests. It gives you comfort and trust, all because of the familiarity, which is otherwise quite difficult to find these days 
• Agape: Unlike any other form of love mentioned in the Bible, the very nature of Agape love is not self-seeking. The unconditional, selfless, sacrificial love is what makes Agape the highest form of love ever felt or witnessed. It is also known as charity. But this is not the kind of charity we know of today, which revolves around materialism. This charity is about faith, commitment, and most of all sacrifice. This is the true form of what we call “love without expectations in relationships” 

Important References Of Agape Love In The Bible And Their Meanings

As we established earlier, variations of agape love are spread throughout the New Testament, representing God’s love for his children and his command for them to love one another. Here is a look up close at some of those references and their meaning:

1. The command to love one another unconditionally 

Jesus loved all humankind equally and unconditionally. He came with one purpose, the purpose of spreading peace and love. All he wanted from his followers was the same kind of love He had for them. He asked them to display a new kind of love, a love that is not bound by pleasure or blood. He wanted them to love each other in the same way He loved them all – selflessly and unconditionally, sacrificing and doing what it takes for the well-being and happiness of the other. 

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have a love for one another.” (John 13:34-35, ESV)

“By this, we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our  lives for the brothers.” (1 John 3:16, ESV)

Related Reading: Top 9 Tips To Build Trust In Relationships

2. Love Is God, God Is Love

“Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” (John 14:21, NIV)

“I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.” (John 17:23, ESV)

This is where Jesus told his followers that if they loved each other the same way He loved them, he would know that they love him, more so by their actions of fulfilling his command. He says that the ones who love Him will be loved by His Father, the Almighty, and by Him. He explains that He resides in everyone and everyone resides in Him and loving His children is the highest form of love for Him. 

3. The Love Feast

Love feast is a meal at the early church which expresses brotherhood and fellowship. It is a common meal where all Christians came alike to eat together, symbolizing fellowship leading to brotherhood and togetherness. “These are hidden reefs at your love feasts, as they feast with you without fear, shepherds feeding themselves; waterless clouds, swept along by winds; fruitless trees in late autumn, twice dead, uprooted” (Jude 12, ESV)

What Does Agape Love Mean In A Relationship?

As mentioned above, the very nature of Agape love is selfless, but any relationship could benefit when Agape is mutual. But what does agape love mean in romantic relationships, really? In a relationship, Agape can be accompanied by either of the other two forms of love  – Eros or Philia. And when both the people in a relationship are concerned and ready to sacrifice for the other, their bond only grows along with the ease of the relationship. This simple Greek word makes a relationship about the happiness of the other person.

You can witness Agape in various types of relationships, even in the realm of romantic love. Partners care for each other, they give their love unconditionally, put each other’s needs above their own, and sacrifice in their own little or even big ways. Agape love between man and woman has existed forever, it is what bonds them on a higher level, something beyond comprehension. 

As the paper, The Philosophy and Social Science of Agape Love says,  “The Specific Difference is this: No other form of love is as deliberately self-giving and deliberately costly in terms of consciously, willingly, and actively giving up energy, material possessions, comfort, and/or safety for the good of another or others. Agape does not necessarily share the mutuality that is embedded in the other forms of love, although it certainly can be mutual as in a partnering relationship in which each gives to the other.”

But at the same time, this simple Greek word can seem unrealistic and difficult to manifest in relationships. Sometimes people start giving so much in the name of unconditional love that they shove self-love out the window and begin to lose themselves in the process. 

Such love can become a toxic relationship for one or both partners. Many renowned psychologists and life coaches believe that we have limited emotional and mental energy and that we absorb the energy of the people we interact with, whether it’s positive or negative. This is where the problem and the solution lie. 

When one person spends too much of their positive energy and absorbs nothing or only negative energy, the relationship starts to build a crack, which only deepens with time. It is also very common when you don’t understand agape completely, and you keep sacrificing for the other person and suppress your own needs and desires. Over time it builds frustration in partners which ends up being ugly for the relationship. 

It becomes essential to balance agape and practice self-love in any relationship to keep it healthy and long-lasting. As human beings, we all have needs to be met and agape doesn’t stand in the way. It is never about mindless sacrifices, it’s truly about doing right by the person you love, even if it’s difficult. The key here is communication, which is vital for every relationship. 

5 Signs Of Agape Love In A Relationship

The Agape love symbol originates from the ancient Greek word agapē, which dates back to the 1600s. That means it’s no new concept. People have been offering Agape, knowingly or unknowingly. As we discussed above, it is important to balance agape love and self-love. Now we will discuss healthy signs of agape love in any relationship. You will understand that agape is not about mindless sacrifices, but the well-being of your loved ones. Such a love is hard to find but worth fighting for.

Related Reading: 8 People Define Unconditional Love In Beautiful Ways

1. You love them unconditionally 

There are no ifs and buts in true love and that’s what Agape is all about – loving unconditionally. No matter what the circumstances are or what rough patch you are going through, true love isn’t about giving up on the person you love. 

In the famous sitcom, FRIENDS, Ross had a major crush on Rachel way before they started dating. He always had feelings for her, no matter what the status of their relationship was and he never gave up on her. You know it’s Agape if you love them unconditionally without any expectations in return and love them through all the highs and lows. 

2. You put their needs before yours

Since we are talking about FRIENDS, do you remember the scene where Rachel broke her arm and Ross stayed to help her get ready and go to the hospital? Even when it was one of the most important days of his career. He didn’t even give it a second thought. Why? Well, you know the answer very well. We know that he always put her needs above his own. Not out of desperation but always out of the love he had for her. That’s the answer to how to truly love someone in a relationship.

3. You’re forbearant with them

You never give up! True love never gives up. You believe in them, you stick with them, and you’re always there with and for them. No matter what goes wrong, you stick around to fix it instead of walking away without hope. Because when you’re in love and when it’s true love, you don’t say, “I have done enough”, you’re always ready to fight as many demons that come in the way. 

People fight, and they have misunderstandings, and differences in opinions. But if you believe that you’re a person who is always there to fight beside your partner instead of fighting against them; if you believe you always stand up rather than walk away to be with your partner, then this my friend is one of the biggest signs of Agape love. 

Related Reading: How Important Are Common Interests In Relationships?

4. You don’t support them in their wrongdoings

This might sound contradictory to the very nature of agape but it’s important to understand that although Agape preaches to love unconditionally and to never give up, it never implies committing to sins or doing anything wrong, even if it is for the person you love more than anything. 

Agape is God’s love, and God never encourages us to participate or take pleasure in sins. He preaches to us to rejoice in the truth. To calm your dilemma, not supporting your partner in doing something wrong does not mean you’ve waged a war against them. A good relationship is all about supporting your partner and pushing them toward what’s right. 

5. You hold the power to forgive

Forgiveness is a human’s greatest power. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves to be forgiven, especially when they realize and accept those mistakes. Forgiveness is the sign of Agape love, you forgive your partner’s wrongs or offenses against you. And you let go of the vendetta, without holding any grudges whatsoever. 

Is Agape Love Healthy?

We know quite a lot about Agape love (uh-gah-pay agape love) now and nothing about it says it’s not healthy. But when has love been a yes or no question? Daring to be bold, I’d say in the case of Agape, the answer is both yes and no. No matter how great something is, you always need to find the right balance. Agape love is about giving and sacrificing but that never means self-harm. People who harm themselves or do something reckless just to prove their love are not practicing unconditional love but perhaps some convoluted, toxic attachment. 

Also, when you keep giving, you empty your energy on that one person or maybe even a group of people. While you do so out of love, you need to remember that you only have a limited amount of energy and you cannot let your love for someone take a toll on you every day. That’s where it gets unhealthy. Love someone with all your heart. Give them your heart and soul if you deem, but don’t go blind and burn yourself for no good to them or thee. 

Dos In Agape Love	Don’ts In Agape Love
Love unconditionally, without expectations	Expect them to reciprocate your love
Put their needs above yours	Love them to fulfill your needs
Sacrifice	Repeatedly remind them of your sacrifices or indulge in self-harm
Stand by their side	Support them in their wrongs
Forgive	Hold onto any grudge

Agape is considered to be the highest form of love because it is not self-seeking and doesn’t entail personal gains and pleasure at its core. It has proven to be a necessary part of modern relationships as well. When you love someone unconditionally, you embrace the power of love and enhance your relationships. When you learn to balance communication, self-love, and agape love in a relationship, you pave the way for you and your partner to fulfill your own needs, care deeply for each other, and fortify your bond. All of it only leads you to a healthier relationship. 

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It is ironic that I began to see the signs of emotional invalidation in my relationship because of my ex-boyfriend. Rory told me that I was becoming difficult to be with. To make me realize that I could “overcome my struggles,” he googled a random list of movies on mental health. He suggested I binge-watch them over the weekend. Thank goodness I started with Midsommar because that movie was like a mirror of our relationship. I had lived through all the emotional invalidation examples in that movie with Rory. 

“Everyone has issues.” But to hear this every day as an attempt to belittle what you feel can be excruciating. Especially when you’re already going through a rough patch. To gain more perspective on emotional invalidation in marriage and other relationships, I talked to psychotherapist Dr. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), who specializes in relationship counseling and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. It helped me gain a better understanding of myself and my past relationship.

What Is Emotional Invalidation? 

Emotional validation is when we acknowledge the emotions felt by others. It doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with or consenting to anything. It is just about acknowledging whatever they are going through. Emotional invalidation is exactly the opposite of it. Dr. Bhonsle describes it as:

• Emotional invalidation is the act of rejecting, mocking, dismissing or ignoring someone’s emotions
• It could be verbal, or non-verbal leading to silent treatment abuse
• It could be done innocently when the invalidating person doesn’t realize the power of their actions or words, or when there are cultural differences. Or it could be done intentionally as an act of insecurity, revenge, manipulation, or to fit social stereotypes
• Emotional invalidation has also been observed in cases where the invalidating person has difficulty processing their own emotions. Due to their discomfort with handling emotions expressed by other people, they may invalidate emotions as a defense mechanism
• When done chronically, it can amount to abuse

Why Is Emotional Validation Important?

Emotional validation is important because emotions are important. 

• Despite the popular opinion that expressing feelings is immature, unprofessional, and attention-seeking, we actually learn a lot about ourselves and others through them
• Emotions serve as an invaluable system of internal protection and guidance that is crucial in daily decision-making
• Being able to communicate our emotions and have them acknowledged frees us from the fear of being misunderstood
• Emotional validation aids in developing a positive perspective on ourselves and our surroundings

Dr. Bhonsle says, “Even when there is a difference of opinion, open dialogue and affirmation demonstrate respect for another person’s uniqueness and the right to make decisions.” Emotional validation in relationships preserves the balance of power in a partnership and fosters a sense of satisfaction, joy, and connection.

23 Signs Of Emotional Invalidation In A Relationship

Having discussed the importance of emotional validation, we cannot deny that we live in a society where signs of emotional invalidation can be seen easily and everywhere. 

• Expressing emotions is seen as a disability in an emotionally crippled society
• It is not surprising that many people take pleasure in denying emotional validation because they have been conditioned to find the expression of feelings distressing or even shameful
• In some cases, the invalidation results from the person struggling with their own issues and being so exhausted that they are unable to offer emotional support
• Or the individuals are too self-absorbed to put the other’s emotions front and center

So, how do you know if your feelings are being invalidated in a relationship? In any of the above cases, the following emotional invalidation examples are common:

1. Your partner undermines your pain — “It’s not the worst”

While it’s done mostly unintentionally, it still feels hurtful when people undermine your struggle by mocking it or shrugging it off. This is one of the most common examples of unintentional emotional invalidation and is often observed in partners who come from drastically different backgrounds. A major reason behind this is the conditioning that one receives, which makes a valid issue like being bullied at school a laughable matter for someone else. They might do it:

• When they want to suggest your problem is not significant — “Get over it already. It’s not a big deal”
• When they find your issues funny because it’s an alien concept for them — “And you started crying over it? Ha ha ha”
• When they dismiss your emotions as a result of your sexuality  — “You are such a nancy pants/floozy/pansy”

2. They dismiss your emotions — “You overthink everything”

One of the worst signs of emotional invalidation is when your emotions get dismissed only because you’re attuned to your thoughts and feelings, and your mate isn’t. This disparity in how partners in relationships process emotions is one of the most common relationship problems. Your partner may:

• Declare your empathy as a handicap — “Stop saying ‘My boyfriend disregards my feelings!’ You are too sensitive”
• Identify your emotions as a “quirk” of a community — “You women/GenZ people/rural people”

Related Reading: Expert Advice – When To Call It Quits In A Marriage

3. They compare your pain with others — “Think of the people in Ukraine/Palestine/Iraq/Nigeria”

Even though a device that could measure someone’s emotional pain hasn’t been invented yet, people often like to compare the hurt that different people may have felt. While it’s true that someone from a war zone would have a much more complex experience of trauma as compared to someone who had a breakup, it’s unfair to compare the two. Because not only is it not helping any of the war-afflicted people, it makes everyone else stifle their emotions too. Besides, such comparisons never justify when and how it’s acceptable to grieve. You may also observe your partner:

• Hogging sympathy — “I know what you’re feeling. When my father died … (goes into a 20–minute monologue)”
• Making themselves an inspiration for you — “I had it ten times worse than you, yet here I am”
• Comparing you with a person they know you hate — “I’m sorry for you, but you know what Karen did when she had this problem …”

4. They try to lighten the situation with toxic positivity — “At least you have this” 

Another common way your partner may unintentionally invalidate your emotions is by trying to cheer you up with toxic positivity and humor. Optimism is good, but like everything else, too much of anything can be dangerous. This is one of those signs you’re very unlikely to observe because it hides in plain sight. 

Dr. Bhonsle says, “You should avoid joking about things that can trigger your spouse. Humor can be highly subjective. While people you’ve been around for a long time may find certain jokes funny, it can be upsetting or triggering for other people. At the same time, if your partner cracks jokes that hurt you, you should communicate your displeasure to them.” They may try to “brighten” the situation by:

• Suggesting support — “Why are you worried about being laid off? I earn enough for both of us”
• Excusing it as part of the process — “Guess this is part of being parents, eh? We’re lucky”
• Leaving no room for an alternate thought process — “You have such an amazing family. What else do you need?”

5. They try to appropriate your emotions — “You shouldn’t feel this way”

Dr. Bhonsle says, “Your partner could be doing this unintentionally, but this is often the case when they don’t want to open their mind to the possibility that you may have a different way of expressing emotions than theirs.” The worst part is that your partner will rarely realize that they are hurting you by:

• Suggesting a replacement for your emotion — “I don’t think you’re angry. Maybe you’re just hungry?”
• Encouraging you to stifle it — “It’s no good thinking about it”
• Dismissing your expression of emotion altogether — “You don’t look sad”

Related Reading: Is Guilt-Tripping In Relationships A Form Of Abuse?

6. They suggest you’re doing it for attention — “Do you even want to get better?”

When your partner lacks the same emotional range as you or is skeptical of emotional responses, they frequently interpret your display of emotions as a plea for attention. When this happens, you may often find it difficult to share what you feel with them. They invalidate you by:

• Suggesting that you like to make a spectacle of your emotions — “Don’t make a scene here,” “You’re so dramatic,” or “Why do you have to bring it up now?”
• Targeting your need for people who support you — “Save your tears. No one is here to see you”
• Suggesting that you can control your emotions in a relationship easily — “I’m sorry you’ve chosen to feel this way” or “Stop overthinking/being anxious/being worried”
• Suggesting that it is a plea for their attention — “I work so hard every day. I’m sorry that I don’t have time for you”

 7. They encourage you to forget your experience instead of recovering from it — “Just let it go”

Any kind of traumatic experience activates flight, fight, freeze, or fawn responses in an individual. There is no “forget” response. The human brain may activate detachment, which is part of the freeze response. But even in that scenario, a person needs to healthily process their emotions to recover from the trauma. As suggested by a study, forgetting or trying to bury emotions can end up amplifying them. You may observe in your partner:

• An apathy toward healthy processing of emotions — “Suck it up”
• A tendency to hide everything — “Let’s not talk about this”
• Attempts to close the issue — “What’s done is done. We can’t do anything about it. Let’s forget it”

8. They justify everything through a rigid moral compass — “God’s will”

Human beings have always used a deity, religion, or morality to justify their hardships. Belief in God or being part of a community can be a support system for many, but justifying someone’s adversity may not be a good idea. 

Dr. Bhonsle says, “Religious beliefs should never be the excuse for invalidating your partner’s feelings. Not everyone may have the same beliefs, and not everyone may feel calm after hearing such statements.” You may observe signs of emotional invalidation when people:

• Bring Karma into the picture — “Everything happens for a reason”
• Suggest that your current experience doesn’t matter  — “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle”
• Get dogmatic  — “Pray to <insert God’s name> and everything will be fine”

Related Reading: How To Get Revenge On Your Ex? 10 Satisfying Ways

9. They suggest you’re faking it — “I’m sure it couldn’t have been that bad”

Emotional invalidation in marriage can occur unintentionally when one of the partners has difficulty believing the other. This often happens when one of the partners has very low self-esteem. This may also take the form of gaslighting in relationships when done intentionally. Your partner may:

• Doubt your narratives — “Are you sure that’s what she said?” or “But why would she say that?”
• Suggest your incapability to perceive events — “Were you wearing your glasses?”
• Present a previous incident to invalidate you — “You said this last week too. How am I supposed to believe you?”

10. They gaslight you — “That’s not how it happened”

When people want to invalidate you on purpose, they are doing it to make you mimic the behavior they deem fit. A signature step of narcissistic love bombing is that they often twist narratives to make it appear that something else happened. They do it by:

• Suggesting that you are not capable enough to judge the reality — “You have been under a lot of stress lately” or “You’ve misunderstood completely”
• Making you responsible for their invalidating behavior — “You looked like you were going to cry in front of everyone. What other option did I have except to leave the party?”
• Isolating you from other people — “Your friends laugh at you”

11. They may guilt you — “Why can’t you be happy for once?”

I was raised by an emotionally unavailable mother. I was never comfortable talking to her over the phone, where she guilted me for not visiting her enough. Rory would often dismiss my anxiety about meeting her. This was cruel, not just because I was already struggling to deal with my feelings for her, but because Rory’s lack of empathy made it difficult for me to talk to him about it. Shortsighted partners often:

• Guilt you like Rory did to me — “At least your mother is alive. Mine is dead”
• Make you feel isolated in a group — “Enjoy! Everyone has come for you” (sarcastically)
• Have difficulty in empathizing — “Postpartum depression? You feel depressed because of these beautiful kids?”

12. They try to shame you — “What were you wearing?”

Apathy is one of the most common signs of emotional invalidation. Often, when a couple finds it difficult to connect emotionally, one partner may become apathetic toward the other. If your wife or husband ignores you sexually, they may try to shame you if you try to satisfy your needs using other means, like sex toys. It could be a warning sign of controlling husband or wife. Or in a much worse situation, if someone sexually abuses you, your partner may assume your complicity. They may:

• Occupy a position of moral righteousness — “I work like a slave, but you can’t control your lust”
• Suggest you consented to the abuse — “Did you give them any signals?  Or “Everyone seems to have a thing for you”

13. They pretend to support you — “It’s better this way”

Another way partners emotionally invalidate you is by pretending to support you. The ability to distinguish between support and solution is a valuable trait.

• They say that they’re there for you, but they rarely ever listen to what you say. Instead, they give solutions when you say you don’t need them
• They, sometimes, hide things from you — “I’m trying to protect you”
• Sometimes, their support can be crippling because you begin to doubt yourself — “Are you sure you’re up for it?” (asking this repeatedly)

Related Reading: Telepathy In Love – 14 Undeniable Signs You Have Telepathic Connection With Your Partner

14. They take action on your behalf — “You’ll thank me later”

Taking action on someone’s behalf, especially when they don’t ask for it, is not just disrespectful but also cripples their agency. If your partner takes certain actions on your behalf, you will notice:

• A pattern of ignoring your wishes. This is often accompanied by a tone that sounds disappointing or doubtful, making it appear that you’re going back on your words — “I thought YOU wanted this”
• A suggestion that they’re doing you a favor — “I’m trying to help you” or “It’s for your own good” or “You’ll never get this done without me”

15. They avoid responsibility — “I’m too tired for this sh*t”

This pattern is commonly observed when one of the partners tries to shut themselves in because they find it difficult to deal with their partner’s emotional needs. Though unintentional, this may be used as a defense mechanism to avoid emotional responsibility in relationships. There is:

• Tendency to absolve their guilt — “It’s not my fault. I have been working too hard all day”
• Self-fixation every time you bring something up — “I don’t feel so good. Can we talk later?”
• A pattern of ignoring you and telling you something they think is more important — “Yeah, right. Did you hear this …?”

16. They exact revenge — “How do you like the taste of your own medicine?”

Dr. Bhonsle says, “A vindictive partner can be manipulative and can show passive-aggressive behavior in relationships. This can also become apparent when they reject your emotions because they feel the need to punish you for something you did.” This can be frustrating because:

• They may side-step the issue entirely — “It’s just stitches. Why are you screaming? I didn’t scream that loud when I gave birth to your child”
• They bring up an earlier resolved argument  — “I wouldn’t know how to help you with financial matters since, like you said one day, I’m just sitting at home all day” or “You never said anything when I had to go through a lay-off. Why do you expect me to comfort you?”
• They exact favors from you — “You need my shoulder to cry on. You know what I need … <touches you on your thigh>”

Related Reading: 11 Lovely Ways To Date Your Spouse – Spice Up Your Marriage

17. They distrust you — “How do I believe you after that incident?”

People who are struggling with addiction or mental illnesses often have to face this scenario. Their partner may express disbelief or dismissal of their experiences. This disbelief grows stronger after repeated incidents of lapse. Sadly, the distance between partners widens with time as each finds it difficult to trust the other. This occurs frequently as follows:

• They question your reliability — “Were you drinking?”
• They confirm it from another person in front of you
• They make it a burden — “I just wish you’d stop doing this to me”

18. They downplay your triggers — “Clowns are not scary, they’re funny”

A common thing wives or husbands do to destroy their marriages is to downplay their spouse’s triggers. Partners can be cruel when they mock or question your triggers, whether done intentionally or unintentionally. This happens often when there is a lack of understanding of how phobias/trauma work. You may see:

• A pattern of mocking you for what they consider normal — “My spouse is scared of the color yellow. Maybe I should go blonde”
• Resentment for what they consider entitlement — “Trypophobia, huh? Did your personal chef bake bread with no holes?”
• Tendency to ignore it when you get triggered — “Learn to take a joke”

19. They force you into unpleasant situations  — “No pain, no gain”

The worst thing your partner can do to you is force you into unpleasant and uncomfortable situations in the name of “acclimatizing” you. While research suggests that behavior can be modified when you face a particularly unpleasant situation, facing it on your own terms and being pushed into it are two different things. Being forced into something can aggravate the trauma and make things worse. How do you know if your feelings are being invalidated?

• They purposely push you into intense situations — “How will you overcome agoraphobia if you don’t go out?”
• They mock you — “See, even little kids are using the elevator. It just takes 20 seconds”
• They act hurt if you’re unable to cope with the stress — “I’m trying to help you, don’t you trust me?”

20. They suggest you fake it — “Of course, you have a headache now”

My ex, Rory, had this absolutely horrible way of pronouncing my migraines as something I “invented” to punish him. He would refuse to believe that migraines lasted more than a few days. He was convinced I was sulking because I wanted to refuse his “help”. He had no idea how to deal with dating someone with anxiety. Long story short, it was not unusual to hear:

• “How do I even talk to you without triggering your headaches?”
• “So, you can work with a headache, but not have sex”
• “Don’t tell me what to do. I’m gonna get myself a headache”

21. They say the right words with the wrong tone

You may observe that your partner uses the right words, but their tone is off. Their tone may suggest many things, but empathy or support is rarely one of them. You may notice:

• Mocking or sarcastic tone
• Certain comments are spoken in dramatic asides
• Lack of color in their voice. It’s almost as if they’re repeating words they read somewhere and not speaking them from the heart

Related Reading: 8 Ways To Cultivate Emotional Safety In Your Relationship

22. Non-verbal signs of emotional invalidation

Many times, it’s not what they say, but what they do. Uncaring partners often suggest apathy through body language cues. This list includes, but is not limited to:

• Facial cues: Rolling eyes, sighing, pinching lips, raising eyebrows
• Body language cues: Turning away from you, looking at their phone while you’re speaking, nodding at you but looking at something else, getting distracted by something on your clothes, fidgeting, etc.
• Avoiding physical presence: Your partner ignores you for days or stays in a different room. They maintain a distance between the two of you

23. Negative changes in your behavior

Gradually, if this continues, you or the people around you observe marked changes in your behavior. What’s noteworthy is that neither you nor the people around you are comfortable with these changes. A major result of your partner invalidating you is that your self-esteem is badly impacted and you begin to show signs of low self-esteem behavior. The following changes may be visible in your personality:

• You begin to feel anxiety about sharing anything with anyone
• You begin to downplay your issues to the extent that it becomes a norm. The idea that you’re hurting becomes so alien that you are surprised when other people acknowledge your feelings
• You begin to develop extreme behavior and go hot and cold on people. You feel dejected and low at times, while energetic and motivated at others
• You become doubtful about your narrative. You begin to compile ‘evidence’, such as screenshots, in case someone doubts you. Especially when you’re gaslit. Another symptom observed from this behavior is that you begin to overexplain yourself to assure your reliability
• You become scared of meeting new people and are constantly afraid that they will judge you

What Are The Effects Of Emotional Invalidation In Relationships?  

Emotional invalidation can be detrimental to the mental health of the person who is frequently invalidated in the relationship. Dr. Bhonsle says, “Expressing emotions is a way in which our subconscious communicates with our conscious. When your partner ignores your feelings or suggests that they don’t matter, it creates confusion and may do greater harm if adequate attention is not provided.” Chronic emotional invalidation may lead to the following effects:

1. It can cause psychological damage

According to a study, persistent emotional invalidation can predict the onset of depression. In addition to causing feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, perplexity, and inferiority in the affected person, invalidation frequently causes emotional distance, conflict, and interpersonal breakdown. 

• It may affect a person’s capacity to control their own emotions and behaviors, making them feel uncomfortable in a social setting
• It compromises one’s sense of self and worth, resulting in emotions of rage, remorse, shame, and worthlessness
• It can make you question what to do when your spouse ignores you sexually. If your wife or husband ignores you sexually, it can have an impact over your mental health and self-esteem
• According to a study, when a partner ignores you for days, it can also impair a person’s daily functioning and increase their risk of developing psychiatric disorders such as anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and borderline personality disorder (BPD)

2. It can make one question their reality

When one is invalidated by their partner, it brings on the perception that their subjective emotional feelings are irrational, inappropriate, or unimportant. It can create a disconnect from their true selves. It has been discovered that invalidation frequently causes a rise in secondary emotions like wrath and shame by preventing the expression of primary emotions like melancholy. According to research, individuals who already struggle with emotion regulation often respond more violently when their grief is not acknowledged emotionally.

• Emotionally sensitive people are more affected by emotional invalidation
• Emotional dysregulation may result from being taught that one’s emotional reactions are wrong and unnecessary
• This can lead to a loss of self-worth and separates people from the truth that they matter and belong to the world around them
• It can make them constantly doubtful of what they know and their capability to perceive things around them

Related Reading: Foreplay: More Than Just a Warm-Up 

3. It can lead to long-lasting trauma in children

Everyone can be affected by the repercussions of invalidation, regardless of age, gender, or culture, but children are the most vulnerable. Since their awareness and comprehension of the world are still developing, invalidation leads to pervasive feelings of insecurity. This can affect how they express their emotions. 

• According to a study, invalidation by peers and family members was found to increase the risk of suicide events or occurrences of self-mutilation in teenagers
• Another study demonstrated how emotional invalidation throughout childhood and adolescence can lead to emotional suppression. It often leads to psychological issues in later years, especially in the form of depressive and anxiety-related symptoms

How Do You Respond To Emotional Invalidation?

I was struggling with the loss of my father, and hearing Rory snort or sigh didn’t help. I’d avoid any situation that could trigger me. Later, I started to anticipate how he’d react and began to do things that would make him happy. Chronic emotional invalidation can cause trauma in people, activating their fight-flight-freeze-fawn response. You could enter a perpetual survivor mode. If you observe signs of emotional invalidation in your relationship, here’s what you can do:

1. You need to implement containment and boundaries

In his book, The Invisible Line, psychologist Benjamin Fry discusses the role of confinement and boundaries to ensure and advance our well-being. According to Fry, containment refers to how we control our responses to any situation, while boundaries work to decrease the influence of those stimuli on our emotional and psychological well-being. When containment and boundaries are used effectively, it can help a person handle emotional invalidation.

• Try grounding techniques to practice containment. Focus on the environment around you, focus on its details, focus on how those details are getting fed to you through different senses
• Learn to say no to establish healthy boundaries in relationships. If you think a situation might trigger you, withdraw from it till you are comfortable enough to face it

2. You need to practice self-validation

You need to understand that we can’t depend on other people’s validation. Not only does it make us dependent on external stimuli to activate joy triggers, but it can also lead to lowered self-esteem. Self-validation can include acknowledging yourself and your needs, being patient with yourself, and learning to live with your flaws.

• Maintain a journal. Write your personal goals and write whenever you do something to move toward these goals
• Identify your issues. You can try to work on these issues, but if you can’t, learn to make peace with them
• Whenever you feel negative, remember to say, “It’s okay.” Give yourself the pep-talk you need
• Don’t focus on trying to change others to validate yourself. We can’t tailor others’ behavior to suit ourselves. If your living in perpetual abuse, then it’s time to move on 

3. You need to call it out

If your partner frequently invalidates you, whether intentionally or unintentionally, call it out. They’ll be surprised, disappointed, or even angry at first, but you need to tell them that it’s hurtful to you.

• Identify the behavior you find invalidating. Tell them immediately
• You need to stand your ground. Manipulative partners are very good at victimizing themselves. So learn to have a clear understanding of the issue
• Suggest a break, if it gets worse. Your partner may object to this but you need to tell them how to deal with taking a break in a relationship

4. How to respond to invalidation — Be the change yourself

Emotional invalidation in marriages is more common than we think. It is often considered benign or treated as a joke. Chronic emotional invalidation is neither. It’s possible that you may have invalidated your partner’s emotions at some point. Learn to empathize and take their words seriously.

• Use affirmative language with each other. Use words like “It sounds frustrating” instead of “Stop whining”
• Observe your partner. A person who is constantly emotionally invalidated is always on their toes
• Talk to them in earnest. Connect with them and ask them if there is something about your behavior that bothers them
• In Midsommar, Dani was constantly scared of being abandoned by her boyfriend. This is a common fear among all those who bear emotional invalidation without complaining about it. Tell your partner you are there for them for better and for worse

5. Don’t shy away from expert help

Once the realization hit that I was being invalidated, I told Rory that I wanted a break. Unsurprisingly, he started calling it a ploy to break up with him, but I stood firm. On a friend’s suggestion, I decided to take therapy. That proved to be one of the best decisions of my life.

• Take your time getting in touch with your emotions. Mindfulness is important if you want therapy to work
• Find the right therapist for your needs. At Bonobology, we have an excellent panel of therapists and counselors for all your mental health needs

It’s a common belief that people in relationships are supportive of each other, and invalidation occurs intentionally only. Unfortunately, individuals frequently don’t realize that they could be invalidating their partners unintentionally. They either treat it as an effort to “help” their partner get over a difficult experience, or they fail to sympathize. 

People also invalidate emotions because of their discomfort at having their own unprocessed emotions triggered by their partner’s emotional display. In all these cases, the common thread that remains is that invalidation can lead to intense psychological distress. If you notice any signs of emotional invalidation in your relationship, take a step now and help build a better relationship for yourself.

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Play’N Go is widely regarded as one of the online casino industry’s most popular developers. The company mostly specializes in the development of online slots and table games, but its virtual slot machines are among the most played games in the online casino industry. Here, we’ll be taking a look at the best Play’N Go games that you can play in safe and reliable online casinos:

1. Book of Dead

RTP: 96.21%

Book of Dead is Play’N Go’s most popular game, and one of the online casino industry’s most played online slots. The game catapulted the “Rich Wilde” slots to the top of the popularity charts, with fair RTP rates and fantastic in-game multipliers that make it possible for gamblers to earn up to 5,000 times their bet on a single spin.

Book of Dead is also one of the best games that you can play with $200 no deposit bonus codes, as its fair RTP rate makes it a popular slot offered by casinos to be played with their bonuses. 

2. Reactoonz

RTP: 96.51%

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Reactoonz features a 7×7 setup that breaks the mold of classic slots to present players with unique gameplay features. Unlike other games, paylines are formed in clusters, and symbols have the Cascading Reels feature that makes it so winning combinations “break” their symbols to let new ones fall into place, much like a game of Candy Crush. 

The game features one of the most generous RTP rates present in Play’N Go titles. Its high variance also means that you’ll find yourself playing a few times before you manage to land a win, but a win is often worth multiple times your stake 

3. Rise of Olympus

RTP: 96.50%

The Rise of Olympus slot is Play’N Go’s most popular Greek-themed slot, and one of the most popular in any casino that hosts the game. Its popularity is mainly due to its very high volatility, which makes winning rounds feel extremely rewarding, with prizes that could be as large as 5,000 times the amount of money that you stake per spin.

The game features a fantastic mechanic where multipliers play a key part in large wins. Fill up the bar, collect rewards, and earn as much as you can playing this world-class, earth-shaking casino game.

4. Moon Princess 

RTP: 96.20%

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Moon Princess is another extremely popular high-volatility slot created by Play’N Go, with an above-average return rate. The setup breaks the 5×3 mold to present players with a unique 5×5 grid interface, allowing for larger wins and eye-catching paylines.

Chase wilds and large multipliers in this anime-themed game, which comes with the iconic Play’N Go multiplier bar at the left-hand side of your screen.

5. Fire Joker

RTP: 96.15%

Fire Joker is a 3×3 online slot that combines classic slot gameplay with modern video slot features, providing users with a unique experience that makes this game a fan favorite for old schoolers as well as for newer industry enthusiasts.

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Its stacked effect and a random multiplier wheel turn this game into a must-try for those chasing large payouts.

How to Pick the Best Play’N Go Casino for You?

Play’N Go, per se, is a fantastic gambling company with games that you can trust. However, some online casinos that offer the company’s games may be better off being left unvisited. Here are four tips that’ll help you choose a reliable Play’N Go casino:

• Check Its License: Always ensure that the casino that you want to visit holds a reliable and valid license, such as the one given by the Curacao gambling authorities, the MGA, or the UKGC. 
• Double Check the Variety of Play’N Go Games: Some online casinos may offer Play’N Go games, but there’s a chance that not all of them will be available, depending on the agreement that they have with the company. Always check how many of them are there and whether the aforementioned games are there to be played.
• Look at the RTP of Play’N Go Games: Some online casinos may offer Play’N Go games are reduced RTP rates, which is highly inconvenient for players. Always check the estimated return rate of the games before you play them (open the game’s menu to do this – all slots have the option available)
• Ensure that Bonuses are Worth It: Most online casino bonuses are designed in a way that lets you play Play’N Go games with them. However, it’s important to check whether the bonuses are able to be turned into real money before you play. Read the bonus terms!

Play’N Go Games: A Synonym of a High-Quality Casino

Albeit Play’N Go slots do not have the highest return rates in the industry, they are among the most fun that you can play (and maybe get healthier by doing so!) in today’s gambling world. A collection of Egypt-themed slots and world-class classic games makes up the majority of this company’s catalog – one that you’ll find in reliable online casinos throughout the industry.

Be sure to try out these amazing games with top-quality bonuses and embark on a journey of top-rated gameplay in the world’s best online casinos. 

Are you considering engineered hardwood floors for your home? If so, there are a few factors you’ll want to take into account before making your purchase. In this blog post, we’ll share four of the most important considerations to keep in mind as you shop for engineered hardwood flooring.

With these factors in mind, you can be sure to choose the best product for your needs and budget. So, let’s get started!

The Janka hardness test

The Janka hardness test is an industry-standard test used when evaluating the hardness of engineered hardwood flooring. It measures the amount of force required to embed an 11.28 mm steel ball into a piece of wood and is a reliable method to determine how resistant engineered hardwood will be to scratches, dents, and everyday wear and tear.

Individuals looking to purchase engineered hardwood flooring should keep this in mind – because the durability (and, therefore, lifespan) of their floors ultimately depends on the results of this test. Learn more about engineered hardwood flooring here.

What is the wear layer of engineered hardwood floors?

Engineered hardwood floors are an excellent option to help bring both warmth and character to your place while still having the durability of a hardwood floor. An essential factor to consider when buying engineered hardwood is its wear layer.

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Also Read: How to Add a Touch of Luxury to Your Old Laundry Room

The wear layer of an engineered hardwood floor includes several components: the surface or top layer, made from either natural wood or adhered plastic sheeting, protects against dents and scratches; a base layer which helps keep its shape; middle layers that make up the core; and a backing which may also include plastic foam. It’s important to note that not all manufacturers will use the same material for their wear layers, making it essential for a homeowner to understand what each one offers in terms of durability before making any purchase decision.

The thickness of engineered hardwood floors

When it comes to choosing engineered hardwood for your home, the thickness of the boards is an essential factor to consider. The overall thickness and height of engineered hardwood floors is typically between 5-8 mm and should always be thicker than the wear layer, which typically ranges from 2-6 mm. A higher thickness gives better stability to the flooring and makes dipping or uneven surfaces less likely. Shopping around for different thicknesses can ensure you get the best product that will stand the test of time in your home.

Also Read: What Does Your House Style Say About You

The subflooring of your home

The subflooring of your home plays an important role when purchasing engineered hardwood for your place. Before investing in these wood floors, it is essential to understand the type of subfloor you have, what it can accommodate, and if the engineered hardwood can be properly installed. If you already have a concrete floor, then the humidity levels of your space need to be assessed, as such surfaces are prone to moisture retention. A plywood or OSB substrate requires special attention as they need to be completely stable before the installation begins. Make sure to check the manufacturer’s guidelines prior to purchasing engineered hardwood so that you can buy with confidence and make sure that your floors are installed correctly and will last for years to come.

Concluding thoughts

Engineered hardwood floors are an excellent investment for your home. By taking into consideration the Janka hardness test, wear layer, thickness, and subflooring of your home, you can find the perfect engineered hardwood floor for your needs. With so many options on the market, it is essential to do your research before making a purchase. Consider all these factors before deciding to  buy engineered hardwood floors for your home.

Attracting women in your 30s can be a daunting prospect.

You may feel like you’re running out of time to find a partner, or that you’re not as attractive or desirable as you were in your younger years.

However, the truth is that your 30s are actually the perfect time to focus on building a successful dating life.

In this article, we’ll explore what really works when it comes to attracting women in your 30s, so you can approach dating with confidence and success.

Focus on Your Self-Development

One of the best things you can do to attract women in your 30s is to focus on your self-development. This means taking the time to identify your strengths and weaknesses, and working on improving yourself.

This could mean hitting the gym, improving your fashion sense, or developing new skills and hobbies.

Improving your physical fitness is a great way to boost your confidence and attract women. Exercise releases endorphins, which can help you feel more positive and energized. It also improves your physical appearance, which can be a major factor in attracting women.

Consider working with a personal trainer to develop a workout plan that’s tailored to your fitness level and goals.

Fashion is another important aspect of self-development. Dressing well can make you feel more confident and attractive, and it can also send a message to women that you take care of yourself and have good taste.

Consider investing in a few key wardrobe pieces that fit well and flatter your body type. And don’t forget to groom yourself, including your hair, facial hair, and nails.

Finally, developing new skills and hobbies is a great way to broaden your horizons and meet new people, including potential partners. This could mean learning a new language, taking a cooking class, or joining a sports team.

By expanding your interests and knowledge, you’ll become a more well-rounded and interesting person, which will make you more attractive to women.

Be Confident and Authentic

Confidence is key when it comes to attracting women in your 30s. It’s important to approach dating with a positive mindset and a belief in your own worth.

This means letting go of any negative self-talk or limiting beliefs you may have about yourself. Remember that you have a lot to offer as a partner, and that you deserve to be with someone who appreciates and values you.

Authenticity is also crucial when it comes to attracting women. Don’t try to be someone you’re not or pretend to be interested in things you’re not. Be true to yourself, and you’ll attract women who appreciate you for who you are.

This means being honest and transparent about your intentions, interests, and values.

When you’re authentic and confident, you’ll naturally attract women who share your values and interests.

You’ll also have an easier time connecting with women, as they’ll be drawn to your positive energy and genuine personality.

Embrace Online Dating

Online dating is a great way to meet women in your 30s. It’s convenient, and you can easily connect with women who share your interests and values.

However, it’s important to use online dating wisely. Don’t spend too much time on the app or website, and be selective about the women you match with.

Take the time to craft a strong profile that showcases your personality and values. This means using high-quality photos that show you in your best light, as well as a well-written bio that highlights your interests and what you’re looking for in a partner.

When you match with someone, take the time to get to know them before jumping into a date.

This means having conversations about your shared interests and values, as wellas your backgrounds and goals. By taking the time to build a connection online, you’ll have a better sense of whether or not you’re compatible before meeting in person.

It’s also important to be respectful and genuine in your interactions on online dating platforms. This means avoiding inappropriate or suggestive messages, and taking the time to read someone’s profile before reaching out.

If you’re not interested in someone, be polite and respectful in your response, rather than ghosting or blocking them.

Attracting women in your 30s may seem like a challenge, but with the right mindset and approach, it’s completely achievable.

By focusing on your self-development, being confident and authentic, and embracing online dating, you’ll be well on your way to building a successful dating life.

Conclusion

In conclusion, if you’re a man in your 30s looking to improve your dating life, focus on your self-development, be confident and authentic, and embrace online dating.

By following these strategies, you’ll be well on your way to attracting high-quality women who share your interests and values.

And if you’re ready to take your dating confidence to the next level, check out my personalized coaching sessions.

As a dating and self-confidence coach for men, I’ve helped countless clients improve their dating skills and transform their love lives. With my expert guidance and support, you’ll be well on your way to attracting high-quality women who share your interests and values.

Visit my training courses page and schedule a consultation call today. Don’t wait – start your journey to success today!”

Are they the same?

The main difference between a therapist and a psychologist is that a psychologist can be a therapist, but not necessarily. Licensed psychologists can practice as clinical or counseling psychologists, and many of these professionals practice as counselors.

However, some doctoral-level psychologists are not trained to work with mental health issues. These include research psychologists, occupational psychologists, and industrial psychologists, amount others.

Who can be a psychotherapist?

Counselors and therapists are broad categories that apply to many professionals providing mental health services. They all have a master’s degree if they practice independently.

• those with a degree in a school of social work are called “clinical social workers.”
• “mental health counselors” have a graduate degree in mental health counseling.
• “substance abuse counselors” specialize in helping those with addiction issues.
• those trained to work with entire families have “marriage and family therapy” degrees.

Requirements vary from state to state. Most require a person with a master’s degree to have around 1000-1600 hours of clinical experience.

In addition, most need to pass a state exam before achieving independent licensure.

Who can be a psychologist?

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines a psychologist as:

Psychologist. n. an individual who is professionally trained in one or more branches or subfields of psychology. Training is obtained at a university or a school of professional psychology, leading to a doctoral degree in philosophy (Ph.D.), psychology (Psy.D.), or education (Ed.D.).

These professionals work in laboratories, and schools, from grammar schools to colleges, hospitals, and clinics.

They may work in government, prisons, the military, business, or industry. Their actual job can include any of the following:

• educational testing and assessment,
• research,
• forensic or criminal profiling
• teaching, or
• business and organizational consulting.

Which psychologists practice therapy?

School Psychologists

Regardless of the educational setting, these psychologists do jobs ranging from academic testing, to working with psychiatric problems such as:

• ADHD,
• disruptive behavior, or
• any behavior like depression or anxiety that prevents a student from excelling.

They may also provide career counseling as well as work with families, administrators, and teachers.

Counseling Psychologist vs Clinical Psychologist

There is more similarity than differences between these two. Both share the same license. Both can diagnose mental disorders and treat both mild and severe psychiatric illnesses.

Both are capable of helping a broad range of behavioral, social, and emotional problems. Both help clients from a variety of ethnic, racial, and economic backgrounds. Both can provide psychological testing.

Many argue that a clinical psychologist can treat more serious illnesses while counseling psychologists treat milder life adjustments. However, this is a false dichotomy as both can choose to specialize in everything from bipolar disorder to career challenges or couples therapy. Others choose forensic psychology, neuropsychology or cognitive psychology. This all depends upon the coursework they choose in their doctoral programs.

The central difference is often the letters after their names and the department where they received their training.

They may be mental health professionals with doctoral degrees, such as psychologists. If independently licensed, both groups can practice individual therapy and treat mental disorders in private practice.

Are psychologists medical doctors?

No. Physicians who treat issues such as substance abuse and prescribe medication are called psychiatrists. While psychiatrists can practice a variety of types of therapy, most do not. They specialize in psychopharmacology rather than long-term talk therapy.

Counselors and Therapists

The APA defines counselors as:

Counselor. n. an individual professionally trained in counseling, psychology, social work, or nursing who specializes in one or more counseling areas, such as

• vocational,
• rehabilitation,
• educational,
• substance abuse,
• marriage, relationship, or
• family counseling.

A counselor provides professional evaluations, information, and suggestions designed to enhance the client’s ability to solve problems, make decisions, and the effect desired changes in attitude and behavior.

The APA defines a therapist as:

Therapist. n. an individual who has been trained in and practices one or more types of therapy to treat mental or physical disorders or diseases. In the context of mental health, the term is often used synonymously with psychotherapist (see psychotherapy).

How to choose between psychologist vs therapist

Cost

As psychologists spend four years in school, earning a graduate degree in psychology is expensive. The Education Data Initiative reports that:

• the average debt for students attending private, non-profit institutions that hold a Ph. D. is $270,712; $254,829 is from graduate school alone.
• $88,820 is the average debt for a Master of Arts (MA); $65,767 is from graduate school.

More schooling (two years vs. four years) means higher debt. Managing debt payments can translate into higher fees for you, the client.

Specialization

Don’t see an occupational therapist for marital problems. Don’t look to a school counselor who has no experience with drug and alcohol addiction. Seek out a specialist who has the exact training and experience to help you with the problem you present.

Many specializations require training beyond graduate school. It is wise to look at continuing education courses that they’ve taken.

• Do they have certifications from reputable organizations?
• What professional organizations are they a member of?
• What supervision have they attained to be become expert in their area?

Learn where this professional has invested their time and money.

Fit

Credentials are a great place to start, but there are other considerations. Don’t be reluctant to seek out a therapist who is similar to you in any of the following ways:

• gender: Do you have a preference for a man, woman, or someone nonbinary?
• race: Do you have a preference for a person similar to you in racial or ethnic makeup?
• sexual orientation: Do you have a preference for a therapist who is openly gay or lesbian? Someone who specifically mentioned expertise with LGBTQi+ populations?
• language fluency: You may speak fluent English, but perhaps your native language is French Russian, Mandarin, or Hindi. It might be desirable to find someone who is bilingual or even trilingual if you and your partner speak different languages.
• faith or lack of: You may want someone well-versed in biblical scripture. You may want someone who is secular or non-religious. Some therapists specialize in working with Christians, Jewish clients, Muslims, Buddhists, and Sikhs.
• types of therapy: Perhaps you have heard that cognitive behavioral therapy is excellent for anxiety. Perhaps you want a therapist who has a trauma focus or can do hypnotherapy for weight loss.
  • Couples therapy has methods using a science-based approach. These include the Gottman Method, or Emotionally-focused Couples Therapy might be a priority for you.
  • You can find specialists in biofeedback, feminist, music, or creative arts therapists. Learn about your condition and what treatment approaches have been proven effective.
• on your insurance panel:. This may be the first place to start Are you looking for individual therapy for a specific mental health condition? If so, it will be covered by your insurance. Once you have some names and know they are accepting new clients, launch an internet search to learn more about them.
• “good vibes”: Call the therapist on the phone and have a get-acquainted conversation. If that’s not possible, attend a session. You should feel comfortable in their presence and willingness to be open.

The final word on the difference between psychologist and therapist

Ultimately, choosing between a psychologist or a therapist depends upon many factors I’ve outlined above. Sometimes the best choice is someone who is available to see you and has an opening at a time that works for you. Build a solid working relationship with whoever you choose, and recognize that good therapy takes time, resources, and energy.

When it comes to deciding how long to wait between the first and the second date, it is important to consider the relationship between the two individuals and the expectations of each person. This article looks at the different factors to take into consideration when deciding how long to wait between a first and second date.

How long should you wait between a first and second date? Everyone asked this question. 

Recent statistics show that 32% of 100% of people meet online. The rest of us do it in other ways. But that doesn’t stop people from going on first dates.

After the first date there are a number of doubts that may worry you. It is quite natural that you doubt how long the next meeting can be scheduled. The first date is a kind of casting, the ability to ensure compatibility and the presence of points of contact.  In the case when mutual interest has not arisen and you are 100% aware that you will not be able to build a serious relationship, do not be upset, because any experience is useful. So, how long to wait for a second date?

Sometimes the first attempt is not at all as planned, but do not be afraid to give a second chance! Love at first sight is not such a frequent phenomenon. Sometimes in order to open up, a longer period is needed.

If you do not have complete confidence in your feelings, do not rush to make hasty conclusions. Try to analyze what you did not like, what mistakes you and your partner made.

Try to make another attempt taking into account your experience. So, how long between first and second date?

We hope that our advice will help you cope with doubts and build harmonious relationships with a decent person. On the first date, you will feel if a spark of passion flashed and there were signs of mutual sympathy.

If a new acquaintance did not seek to complete the rendezvous as soon as possible, you are on the right track.

Should You Go on The Second Date?

How many first dates lead to a second date? A lot of people are interested in this question. First, let’s break down whether it’s worth going on a second date at all.

You need to pay attention to the following points:

1. Did you feel comfortable communicating with this person?
2. How quickly did you find a common language?
3. The presence of common themes.
4. Take a closer look at sign language: the body of your interlocutor is able to signal mutual attraction.

If the feeling of awkwardness has left you, your time spent in a relaxed atmosphere makes you want to repeat a similar evening, feel free to line up your tactics for the next meeting and the second date.

When a member of the opposite sex really likes us, we unknowingly strive to touch them. Observe your counterpart, if you notice something like this on her part, this means that her interest in you is sincere and genuine. The day after the date, you can call or send a text message to the person you met the day before. In this case, the conversation should not be too protracted.

Just a few minutes is enough to thank you for your time, to find out how she’s doing and what your plans are for the near future. Try to spark interest in your person in it. The conversation should smoothly approach the tempting offer you wish to make. Try to manage the dialogue and ask him the right direction. It may seem that the call will be too intrusive, and you do not want to take a person away from important matters, send a message that will formulate your impressions of the joint leisure time.

The text you can formulate by analogy:

• “I really enjoyed our communication. Let’s try to repeat yesterday’s meeting? ”
• “Hi. Let’s go to the movies when you have free time. ”
• “You are a terrific interlocutor, your agreement to have dinner together will make me happy.”

You can come up with any suitable phrase, be sincere and they will surely answer you the same! A positive response within a short time suggests that you are on the road to success.

Related reading: Best Pick Up Lines in 2023. How To Start Your Conversation With a Girl

Should You Schedule the Next Meeting on the First Date?

Many men get the question, “How long do guys wait to ask for a second date?“. When a guy genuinely likes a girl, he definitely wants to ask her out on a date.

When it comes to deciding whether or not you should schedule the next meeting on the first date. You have to look at the relationship of two people and their preferences. While it can be tempting to plan a second date right away, it is important to take time to get to know the other person better and to ensure that the relationship is going in the right direction. 

According to experts, decisive action at the time of acquaintance can be perceived ambiguously.  Therefore, if you still dare to take this step, you should be confident in the feelings of your partner.  If there is at least some doubt, it is better not to rush things and let the woman calmly think things through. In the event that you have received obvious hints on the desire to continue communication, feel free to suggest to go, for example, to coffee in the near future.

It is best to specify in advance the time and place. In this way, you can demonstrate the determination and strengths of a character. We recommend that you take a short pause, no more than 5 days, in your interest to make the lady think about you and wait for the news. Even if she struck and captivated you, do not reveal all the cards. But beware of fatal mistakes. If you delay the time by more than 2 weeks, you will most likely be forgotten.

The Optimal Time to Schedule Another Date

It is a logical and rational question that interests every young person. How many days can there be between the first and second meeting? Ideally, no more than 3 days will pass from the first to the second rendezvous. This is the period for which a pleasant impression of communication is maintained.

When it comes to the best time to schedule another date, it’s important to consider the relationship and each person’s expectations. The best solution is to wait a few days after the first date before scheduling a second date. This will allow both people to reflect on their meeting and get to know each other better.

You need to look at the context of the date, such as the location and length of the meeting, to make sure you’re both comfortable planning your next seeing. It is also important to respect the other person’s feelings and make sure they are okay with the decision.

However, if you had an online date, the time gap should be smaller. According to VictoriyaClub official stats most of the successful cases were when people waited no more than 1 day. This is the optimal time span between the first and the second date online.

By the way if you are looking for an online dating, here is the link to their site.

Do not miss the chance to take the opportunity to invite a pretty lady to spend the next evening in your company. Act “without delay” and you will get a positive result. If you managed to hear a positive answer, you should think in advance what to do.  After all, this is a great opportunity to consolidate a good impression and surprise the partner.

How Long Between Dates?

Alright, we know the optimal time span between the 1st and the 2nd date. But how long to wait between the next dates?

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As long as your 2nd date was fine you both will certainly want to meet again. In this case seeing each other twice a week is a good option. For example, one time you spend the evening on a weekday and once on a weekend. This will be enough time to think carefully and make a choice.

You can also consider a joint decision. If you and your potential partner talked very well on the first date and made sure that both of you enjoyed it, you can make an appointment together.

This way you will not get tired of each other and carefully add each other to your life.

What does a second date mean to a guy?

For a guy, a second date can mean a variety of things. It could mean a chance to get to know someone better, to make a good impression, to build a connection, or to have more intimate experience.  It can also mean desire to show that he is interested in relationship and want to make it better or deeper.  The male gender is made up of different people and opinions. So there may be different opinions about a second date. 

Why The Second Date Is A Big Deal?

Plenty of psychologists and experts claim that the second date is much more important than the first date.

For example, Carina Hsieh and Emily Johnson from Cosmopolitan claim that the 1st date is more about the first impression and less about the personality. Though the 2nd one is a real date between the people that are not strangers anymore.

So, here are some facts that prove that date number two deserves extra credits.

1. The fact of the 2nd date itself means that both parties are interested to continue.
2. Usually, people are more relaxed and open on the second date. Hence, they reveal their true nature, which is important to establish a real connection.
3. It’s a chance to fix the first impression if you feel you made some mistakes.
4. In most countries, you will have your first kiss on your second date. Certainly, you may already have one. But we can’t argue with statistics
5. If your partner asked you out, it means that they are really interested in you and they want to get to know you better.

Best Ideas For Next Dates

Should I text between first and second dates? Okay, if you do decide to do this. 

You do not know how to organize everything so that she has a desire to see you again and again?   We will tell you the most original options for how to spend time with a beautiful lady, who makes you trembling feelings.

Do not be afraid to show imagination and be original. Her positive emotions are the key to your success. The decisive day has come, and you are already waiting for her at the indicated place.

During the greeting, you can kiss her on the cheek. It would not be amiss to present a beautiful bouquet or a memorable and pleasant gift.

Any woman loves flowers, what to choose, elegant roses or delicate daisies, think for yourself. While planning a joint vacation, it is important to take into account the interests of both, fine, if you are already guided by its tastes and preferences. 

Then, based on the available information, you can easily prepare a great surprise that will appeal to your soulmate. But what if you know nothing about her preferences? Then a great decision to go on the proposed scenarios. It is difficult to select universal locations, the decision in any case is yours.

The most popular places for romantic walks are considered to be:

1) Zoo. In this place you can truly relax and transfer to the atmosphere of childhood.

2) Exhibition of animals.  If you like cats or dogs, a great option to go look at the representatives of these species. Any girl will be glad of this opportunity, a smile and affection from the look of these amusing pets will definitely appear on her face.

3) Walk on the river tram. The water surface is able to relax and save you from unnecessary excitement. 

4) The sights of your city. If you live in a city, you must have some kind of cultural buildings. Show them to your potential partner, accompanying it with interesting stories

5) Botanical garden. What girl doesn’t love flowers? Take her to a botanical garden. She is sure to like it there. It will also be appropriate to compare her beauty with the flowers that bloom around.

6) Amusement park. Who doesn’t like to have a laugh while riding the rides? It’s a lot of fun. Take the person to the extreme rides and sit down with her, thus showing your support and willingness to always be there for her. Well, if your partner doesn’t like speed and extreme, you can just go for a walk. 

What if You Wait Too Long Between a First and Second Date?

People wonder how many first dates lead to second dates? Some guys think that it is wise to wait for a week or even more before asking a girl out on the second date. This way they show that they are busy and at the same time make girls tremble while waiting for a call. 

This may work in some cases, but here are some things to take into account.

1. If your first date went well you may lose that chemistry that you built. You don’t want to start over, right?

2. She may think you are not serious about building a relationship with her. If so, you will have to waste your time on the second date to prove her wrong.

3. The girl may think that you don’t like her or aren’t interested in her. Because of this she may not be interested in you herself. 

4. And of course the worst thing that can happen is that she will find someone else.

How to Prepare for a Date?

It is important to properly prepare. Do not forget about your appearance. You should feel yourself comfortable and at the same time be attractive.

The venue should not be unnecessarily pompous and official. It is best to choose a quiet and cozy cafe, with a pleasant atmosphere and subdued light.

You probably want to stay away from the hustle and bustle of prying eyes. Without much noise, you can talk heart to heart, reach a whole new level of communication and get close.

In that case, if you still feel a certain stiffness and are not ready for too frank conversations, stop on neutral topics. A good solution, go to the institution where you are well known. Thus, you take advantage of a number of privileges.

A warm welcome from the staff and their warm welcome will help create the necessary impression. We advise you not to risk and not to invite the lady home.  Such a trick can drastically repel her and destroy the previous efforts.

The reputation of the narcissist impudent and cad will not decorate you. Remember that your main goal is to establish contact! You must be prepared to receive difficult questions about previous relationships. She will make attempts to ask tricky questions. This will help you find out how much you were true the last time. Remember, if you show your insecurity, your partner will feel it. She will not be comfortable and uninteresting. Strive to develop your mutual interest to each other, this is the only way you can build relationships that can give you bright and mutual feelings. Be open and truthful, then your reward will be devoted and reverent love.

Conclusion: How Long Should You Wait Between the First and the Second Date? 

The question of how long you should wait between a first and second date is a common one. While there is no universal answer, there are some factors to consider when choosing the best time frame.

First, it is important to note that there is no hard and fast rule when it comes to how long to wait between a first and second date. Ultimately, it depends on the individual and their preferences.

However, a good general guideline is to wait at least a few days before planning a date.

Additionally, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your date about your intentions and level of interest. By doing so, you can avoid misunderstandings and ensure that you’re both on the same page.

In the end, the goal of dating is to find a compatible partner with whom you can build a fulfilling relationship. So, take your time, be honest with yourself and your date, and enjoy the process of getting to know someone new.

Are you bisexual or is it just a phase? Don’t worry, between 2.8 to 4% of women identify themselves as bisexual or show signs of bisexuality. Similarly, more and more men nowadays are coming out as ‘bisexual’.

Bisexual activist Robyn Ochs, editor of the anthology Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World and Recognize, writes, “Someone who is bisexual acknowledges in themselves the potential to be attracted — romantically, emotionally and/or sexually — to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, in the same way, or to the same degree.”

‘Am I Bi or is it just a phase’ quiz is here to save your day! Consisting of just seven questions, it will help you figure out your sexual orientation…

As Bjork, singer says, “Personally I think choosing between men and women is like choosing between cake and ice cream. You’d be daft not to try both when there are so many different flavors.”