Category: Dating & Love

Heart surgery is a complex and challenging field that requires extensive training and experience to achieve successful outcomes.

Over the years, heart surgeons in London have made significant advancements in surgical techniques and technology to improve patient outcomes and reduce recovery times.

Below, we will discuss some of the advancements in heart surgery techniques and technology that could be carried out in the future by a heart surgeon London. 

Minimally Invasive Heart Surgery

Minimally invasive heart surgery is a technique that allows surgeons to perform heart surgery through small incisions instead of large incisions. This technique is less invasive, causes less pain, and reduces recovery times. London surgeons have been at the forefront of minimally invasive heart surgery, using advanced technology and techniques to perform a range of procedures, including coronary artery bypass grafting, valve replacement, and repair.

Robotic-Assisted Surgery

Robotic-assisted surgery is a cutting-edge technology that allows surgeons to perform heart surgery with greater precision and control. The technology includes a robotic arm that is controlled by the surgeon, which is equipped with tiny surgical instruments and a high-definition camera that provides a clear view of the surgical site. London surgeons have been using robotic-assisted surgery for a range of heart procedures, including mitral valve repair and atrial septal defect closure. The technology has been shown to reduce blood loss, pain, and recovery times, and improve patient outcomes.

Transcatheter Aortic Valve Replacement

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Transcatheter aortic valve replacement (TAVR) is a minimally invasive procedure that allows surgeons to replace the aortic valve without open-heart surgery. The procedure involves inserting a catheter through the groin or chest, which is then guided to the heart and used to place a new valve over the damaged valve. London surgeons have been using TAVR for high-risk patients who are not suitable for traditional open-heart surgery. The procedure has been shown to reduce complications, improve recovery times, and result in excellent long-term outcomes.

Hybrid Operating Rooms

Hybrid operating rooms are specialized surgical suites that combine the latest imaging and surgical technologies to provide surgeons with real-time information about the patient’s condition during surgery.

London surgeons have been using hybrid operating rooms for a range of heart procedures, including complex coronary artery bypass grafting and valve replacement. The rooms are equipped with advanced imaging technologies, such as 3D CT scans and MRI machines, which allow surgeons to visualize the surgical site in real time and mak

Knowing what you want is the key to online dating success. Are you looking for hook-ups and fun, or are you searching for The One? When you’ve figured it out, it’s crucial that you make sure the people you’re dating know as well, as it could save a lot of potential heartache. Here’s how to be honest about your dating goals…

Figure out what you want before you start

You might be excited about getting online, but it’s important to have your goals in place before you meet anyone. If you’re unsure, talk to a friend as they can be a sounding board and reflect your thoughts and feeling back to you. You’ll have an easier and more successful time if you have your goals figured out first.

make it clear on your profile

You don’t need to be too explicit, but make it obvious what you’re looking for before people message you. Looking for something serious? Write it down? Just here for fun? Say so. Communicating your needs and wants is crucial in all relationships, so you might as well start now.

discuss it on your first date

Make sure they are clear about what you’re looking for before you get past the point where they might be catching feelings for you. Mention it in your messages and bring it up on your first date. Being coy about something so important is just going to create problems down the line.

Don’t worry about their response

Don’t avoid being honest because you’re worried they won’t want to meet up with you. Be straightforward and respectful about where you see things going. And it works both ways: if you’re looking for something longterm and they’ve made it clear they’re just dating casually, tell them they’re not the person for you. It could save you some angst at a later date.

don’t change your plans for them

If you’re looking for fun and someone tries to convince you into a serious relationship, or vice versa, take a step back and be really honest with yourself. Is this person right for you? If not, break it off, as leading either yourself or them down the garden path is likely to end in heartbreak. Tell them firmly but kindly that it’s not going to work out, and look for someone who is genuinely in line with your desires.

Visit mysinglefriend.com and sign up now.

Marriage can often be a rollercoaster ride. It’s a lifelong commitment with frequent ups and downs because two people can’t have the same thoughts, perspectives, opinions, and judgments. Due to which misunderstanding, mistrust, and miscommunication occur every so often. However, when these moments of strife or unpleasantness become the defining elements of a couple’s relationship dynamics, they can cause depression symptoms and mental health problems. 

However, the “my marriage is making me depressed” realization doesn’t come easy to most people. Even if a person can recognize that they’re dealing with mental health issues, acknowledging that the reason behind it could be the state of their marriage is far more challenging. To find out more about unhappy wives and miserable husbands, we reached out to counseling psychologist Akanksha Varghese (MSc Psychology), who specializes in different forms of relationship counseling, right from dating and premarital to breakup, abuse, separation, and divorce. 

She says, “It’s really important to understand that marriage is a situation and in itself, it can’t make you depressed. The factors that play a role in the marriage could be the cause of depression, which could be situational or clinical.”

Can Your Marriage Make You Depressed?

It’s not peculiar when someone says, “I am so depressed and lonely in my marriage” or “My husband makes me depressed”. However, just because it’s not unusual, doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be taken seriously. It’s important that when someone shares such a vulnerability with us or we find ourselves grappling with such thoughts, we pay attention to them, understand where they are coming from, and try to encourage the person (or ourselves) to seek the necessary help.

A research study examined the effects of marital conflict on changes in depressive symptoms and functional impairment among married men and women. It was found that marital conflict undermines physical health. 

Akanksha says, “Feeling depressed or lonely in a marriage doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the road for you as a couple. Don’t immediately think of how to get out of marriage at the sight of the slightest inconvenience, except abuse in a relationship. Other problems like communication and intimacy issues can be resolved with the help of couples therapy and counseling.” 

However, if you’re depressed, it’s important to focus on your own healing before you get to healing an ailing relationship. And if you don’t know whether you are unhappy or depressed, here are some common symptoms of depression in a marriage to look out for:

• Feeling hopeless and helpless
• Irritability
• Zero motivation to do anything 
• Anxiety and a general feeling of sadness 
• Sleeping problems like sleeping too much or not sleeping at all
• Eating disorders like loss of appetite or emotional eating
• Frequent mood changes
• Not able to focus or concentrate on anything
• Having suicidal thoughts (this symptom shouldn’t be taken lightly at any cost)

Related Reading: 13 Sure Signs He Is Afraid Of Losing You

5 Reasons Your Marriage Is Making You Depressed 

Akanksha says, “Abuse and violence in the relationship are among the top reasons why your marriage could be depressing you. That lurking fear of things turning volatile is enough to trigger anxiety and signs of self-hatred and depression in people. In such relationships, a lot of energy goes into making sure you are safe, and your brain is always in fight or flight mode.”

However, abuse or violence aren’t the only reasons why a marriage may leave a person feeling depressed. Sometimes, even when everything seems fine on the surface, there can be underlying issues that can trigger symptoms of depression. 

If you are a spouse thinking, “I don’t know why my husband or why my wife is sad all the time” or someone who’s battling symptoms of depression but doesn’t know why, you are not alone. A lot of marriages go through similar turmoil. The first step toward managing this situation effectively is to understand why your marriage could be making you depressed. Below are some reasons: 

1. Your spouse is controlling/dominating you 

Akanksha says, “The whole environment of marriage becomes unsafe when one partner begins to control and dominate the other one. Your spouse is not your boss, who can tell you what to do and what not to do. You are not here to follow their orders. There’s a reason why spouses are called partners.”

Being controlled may make one feel insignificant, triggering self-esteem and self-worth issues. According to a study, one of the main causes of depression in a married woman is the feeling of having less or no power in the marriage. 

2. Codependency in marriage could result in unhappiness 

Joseph, an investment banker in his mid-40s says, “I am miserable and depressed in marriage. I do everything I can to keep my partner happy. I put their needs before mine. I’ve changed myself for them and I’ve taken up all the responsibilities, from financial to emotional. We are together all the time and I’ve even stopped meeting my friends.”

Joseph’s problems indicate that they could be in a codependent marriage. Akanksha says, “Codependency in any relationship is unhealthy. It takes home when you place your partner’s feelings, wishes, and happiness above yours, and make it your life’s mission to cater to them. You end up giving everything but not getting anything in return. This puts all the relationship burden on one partner, which can exhaust them mentally and physically.” 

3. Lack of intimacy 

There was a point in my life when I used to wonder, “Am I depressed or unhappy in my relationship?” A quest for an answer led me to realize that it was because my marriage lacked one of the types of intimacy which is very important in a marriage – emotional intimacy. This led to feelings of isolation, neither of us felt like we were loved.

When you love someone and decide to spend the rest of your life with them, you expect to connect with them on all levels – sexual, emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual. Just because you are sexually compatible, doesn’t mean other aspects of intimacy can be neglected. The absence of even one type of intimacy can create problems in a marriage. 

4. Infidelity could be the reason marriage is making you depressed 

Have you or your partner recently been unfaithful? Infidelity is one of the major causes of depression. According to research, a partner’s extramarital affair is one of the most humiliating marital events. The discovery of such affairs can cause Major Depressive Episodes (MDE) in the cheated spouse. 

If you are saying, “My marriage is making me depressed”, then lack of loyalty or trust or both could be the underlying trigger. Suspicion of being cheated on or uncovering a spouse’s infidelity can be massive setbacks that can erode your marriage, leaving you consumed with depressive thoughts. 

Related Reading: Fighting In A Marriage – 10 Tips To Do It Right

5. Holding grudges and resentment 

Akanksha says, “In my experience when couples come to therapy, they’re holding on to a lot of resentment and grudge over issues that may have been resolved on the surface. Sometimes we struggle to let go. The more we hold onto something, the more difficult it gets to move on. This builds a cloak of anger and disappointment that can severely diminish the quality of a couple’s connection.”

When married couples bring up problems and issues years ago and have a hard time forgiving each other, it’s clear that the problem isn’t in the marriage but in the way they are handling conflict. That’s why it’s important to know how to resolve conflicts in marriage as all this can lead to hopelessness and depression. 

Other factors 

Below are some other factors that could be making you say, “My relationship is depressing me”:

• Financial strain or the entire financial burden falling on one person 
• Your partner doesn’t do their share of household chores
• You have been facing constant criticism and sarcastic remarks 
• There is contempt, stonewalling, lying, manipulation, and gaslighting
• You feel a lack of emotional security
• You feel judged for your choices and actions
• Your opinions aren’t considered
• Your spouse could be going through hormonal changes or experiencing mental health issues of their own

6 Healing Tips If Your Marriage Is Making You Depressed 

Firstly, you need to understand that marital conflicts and problems are common. What matters is how you approach these problems and how important it is to you to resolve them harmoniously. If you really love your partner and want to make it work, below are some healing tips if your marriage is causing depression. 

1. Try mindfulness if your marriage is making you depressed

Mindfulness is a therapeutic technique that helps create awareness about how you feel at a particular moment, allowing you to accept your feelings and thoughts without judgment or analysis. It involves the use of deep breathing exercises and guided imagery to help calm your nerves. There are many ways to practice mindfulness in intimate relationships and they can be immensely beneficial in reducing the anxiety and stress you are going through because of your unhappy marriage.

Observe your thoughts and accept them without letting them overpower you. With practice, you will be able to deal with uncomfortable feelings and emotions without being overwhelmed by them. Not only will this help deal with depressive thoughts but also enable you to listen and respond better. This will, in turn, enhance the quality of your conversations with your spouse. 

2. Identify your relationships weakness and strengths 

It’s essential to be aware of your, your partner’s, and your relationship’s strong and weak points. The weakness could include:

• Anger issues
• Mismatched love languages
• Being impatient
• Addiction issues
• Inability to forgive and forget 

The strong suits could be:

• Being calm during arguments
• Being empathetic, loving, and kind
• Honesty
• Supporting each other
• Being respectful 
• Helping each other grow

Based on this understanding, you can devise a holistic approach for resolving your differences that truly works for you. This can go a long way in mitigating problems and the feelings of discontent, unhappiness, and loneliness stemming from them.  

Related Reading: The 36 Questions That Lead To Love

3. Practice self-care 

Going through a Major Depressive Episode can harm your mental health. Depression has a way of making people let go, and even the simplest tasks such as getting out of bed every morning or brushing your hair can seem impossible to accomplish. This is where it becomes essential to focus on self-care and find out how to love yourself. Below are some tips on how to love and care for yourself:

• Spend time with your loved ones
• Start meditating on your own
• Eat healthy and make time to exercise
• Avoid emotional eating
• Spend time in nature
• Start journaling 

4. Understand that marriage is not a competition 

“I am miserable in my marriage” is a sentiment I can relate to. I felt this way in my own marriage, and one of the reasons was that I kept looking at it as some kind of competition I had to win. Whenever my partner and I had any arguments, I made sure I got the last word. I made sure I had the upper hand in every conflict. It was so inconsiderate of me because one of the top priorities in marriage is always to listen and comprehend your partner’s side of the story as well.

I couldn’t stand setting aside my ego to apologize even when I knew I was wrong. After many fights and situational depression, I learned marriage is not a competition. You can’t compete with each other and you can’t compare your marriage with other marriages. 

5. Give each other space 

Akanksha shares, “When you don’t give each other enough space, it may lead to constant fights and the burden of unrealistic expectations can begin to take its toll. That’s why all types of boundaries are healthy. They protect your identity, foster self-esteem, and keep your emotional health stable.”

Boundaries are crucial because they don’t let people take advantage of you. They help manage neediness and clinginess. Draw all kinds of boundaries, including financial boundaries, if you want a peaceful marriage. 

6. Seek professional help 

When feelings of depression begin to take hold, it’s imperative to seek the necessary help sooner rather than later. Of course, you can turn to friends and family to share your feelings and vent. However, they may not be equipped to help you. Depression is a serious mental health issue that needs to be treated the right way, lest it turns clinical and pushes down a rabbit hole that is hard to bounce back from. 

That’s why, if you’re dealing with depressive thoughts and symptoms, seeking counseling is a must. Go into therapy and get to the bottom of the “my marriage is making me depressed” feeling that you can’t seem to shake off. If you’re looking for professional help, Bonobology’s panel of experienced counselors is only a click away. 

Marriage is not easy. But it’s not difficult either. You just have to understand that you’re fighting a problem and not your spouse. Once you learn how to fight a problem together, you will see how unity in marriage is the most beautiful thing ever. A house divided against itself cannot stand for long. 

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A growing child’s relationship with their mother is as essential to their overall growth as good nutrition and exercise. But what happens when this relationship is toxic or at least lacking in what is good for a growing child? Unfortunately, the child enters adult life with a mother wound, more popularly known as ‘mommy issues.’ Men with mommy issues differ greatly from women in how these issues manifest in their adult relationships.

However, one thing remains common: these issues plague every aspect of their life, including their love life. Research suggests that infant-parent attachment has a deep impact on an individual’s adult relationships. Men with mom issues struggle to build healthy, wholesome relationships. In this article, we talk about why that is and how mommy issues manifest in men, with insights from relationship and intimacy coach Shivanya Yogmayaa (internationally certified in the therapeutic modalities of EFT, NLP, CBT, REBT), who specializes in different forms of couples counseling.

What Are Mommy Issues And How Do They Manifest In Men

In a nutshell, psychological mommy issues in men stem from early childhood trauma involving mother figures. Many assume that this trauma manifests in the form of Sigmund Freud’s controversial ‘Oedipus Complex’ concept, but this has been largely debunked for lack of evidence.

Shivanya says, “The Oedipus Complex is not relevant to mommy issues in the literal sense. I have come across only one case in which I had a small suspicion of some kind of physical relationship between mother and son. But I was unable to confirm this to be true.”

However, there is evidence that a mother complex can give rise to unresolved mental health issues later in life. These include low self-esteem, trust issues, angry outbursts, and more. This imbalance in the mother-child relationship could result from an overprotective mother that doesn’t create healthy boundaries with her son. It could also stem from a neglectful or abusive mother who doesn’t provide essential emotional support.

On this, Shivanya says, “In some cases, the mother creates an unhealthy attachment with her son likely because of her own unresolved trauma. In other cases, the mother neglects or abuses the son or is emotionally unavailable. Both situations have the same outcome – an adult man stuck in childhood, overcompensating for validation from a female partner.”

Related Reading: 8 Relationship Problems You Can Face If You Had Toxic Parents

15 Signs Of Men With Mommy Issues

But how can you be sure that your man has mommy issues? He might just have a close and healthy relationship with his mother and you might be projecting your own insecurities. Here are 15 signs of mommy issues in men to watch out for:

1. He has a fear of intimacy

This is probably one of the biggest signs of mommy issues in men. A healthy relationship involves things like having a sense of humor during trivial arguments, communicating assertively, and the ability to spend time apart. Men with mom issues will develop a fearful avoidant attachment style meaning a hampered ability to have healthy adult relationships. He may not take a silly joke well, he may be afraid to communicate his needs assertively for fear of offending you, or he may be anxious when you’re not around.

Self-esteem issues are likely to add to these, making it very difficult to form a healthy adult attachment. Men with mom issues tend to learn some of the same traits their mothers displayed while raising them. It is very likely that the father also had an avoidant attachment style.

Related Reading: Fear Of Intimacy: Signs, Causes & Ways To Overcome It

2. He has a constant need for validation

Boys who grow up with overprotective mothers or an absent mother figure can also develop an anxious attachment style. This is because they were never sure if their needs were being met or if they were even important to their mother. This troubled relationship creates a jaded perspective of the world being a hostile or uncaring place.

Attachment theory suggests that this manifests as a clingy or needy partner who is always trying to make sure that everything is okay in the relationship. According to Shivanya, “Men with this issue have a hard time relaxing and feeling secure in their relationships. They expect constant reassurance. It is a tragic sign of low self-esteem rooted in a complicated relationship with their mother.”

3. He is always seeking approval

Similar to the previous point, this extends beyond romantic relationships into other personal relationships. Men with mommy issues are always seeking approval from everyone in their life – parents, romantic partners, friends, colleagues and bosses, and even their kids.

“This need for approval stems from low self-esteem and poor self-worth rooted in the emotional wounds inflicted by an overbearing or absent mother. Men raised by such mothers never quite learn to cut the cord and be on their own. They always require a crutch of external approval to get through life, not just from their mothers but from just about every important person in their lives,” says Shivanya.

4. He hasn’t succeeded in becoming independent from his mother

Many men with mommy issues struggle to establish independence from their mother figure. He might live with her well into his 30s or 40s, he might ask her advice on every single decision he has to make, small or big, or he might be stuck in some kind of toxic relationship with her.

Shivanya shares a case study to explain how this tendency plays out in relationships. “I had a client who was in her second marriage with a man who was also in his second marriage. This man was so controlled by his mother that they hadn’t had a child yet because his mother would not allow the couple to sleep together,” she says. And the kicker is that this man – in his early 40s – was happy to comply with his mother’s wishes! This is a classic, albeit extreme, example of attachment issues brought on by an overbearing mother who raised her son to require constant reassurance.

All of this is a reflection of the poor boundaries that she set with her son at an early age, involving constant encroachments on his personal space. Even if he does seem to be independent of her in these ways, he might still be preoccupied with her potential feelings about his life choices. Either way, this is a strong sign that he is emotionally stuck in his traumatic childhood, because of childhood abuse, constantly reliving his inner child’s life, and has commitment issues.

Related Reading: Mommy Issues In Women – Meaning, Psychology, And Signs

5. He hasn’t picked up all the necessary life skills of an adult

In some cases, an anxious mother will dote on her son well into his adolescence and early adulthood by always doing everything for him, including basic chores like laundry, dishes, or cleaning his room, feeding the harmful “mama’s boy” stereotype. This creates an overly unreasonable expectation in his mind that his future partner will do the same for him, leaving his partner feeling like they’re dating a man-child. It also robs him of even the notion that he could have an independent adult life regardless of whether he is single or in a relationship.

6. He has more insecurities than the typical adult

When a mother is overly critical, it creates insecurities in a boy during his developmental years – in fact, being raised by an overbearing parent is one of the most common causes of insecurity in an adult. These insecurities become hardwired into his brain as a debilitating mother complex. Here are a few ways they may manifest in a man:

• He makes way too many self-deprecating jokes
• He focuses on his own mistakes far more than is considered ‘normal’
• He has an unusually high need for validation
• He takes constructive criticism as a personal attack
• He is as critical of others as he is of himself
• He has an unusually pessimistic or fatalistic view of the world

Related Reading: Dealing With An Insecure Boyfriend? Here Are 16 Coping Tips

7. He is jealous of other people’s successes in life

A man with mommy issues may grapple with intense feelings of jealousy. This is not restricted to men their partners may speak to but is a more generalized feeling of jealousy toward everyone and their accomplishments, including that of their significant others.

Other people’s success reinforces his perceptions of his failings and further strengthens his feeling that the world is an unfair place. This unhealthily jealous behavior stems from a lack of emotional support during childhood, not to mention his low self-esteem, and it affects all of his personal relationships.

8. He believes the world is an unfair place

Men who develop mommy issues often develop strong feelings of resentment toward the world. While it is an unpleasant thing to experience as his partner, it comes from a childhood trauma that isn’t even recognized in society. Trauma is largely understood as a person’s reaction to a horrifying event like war or extreme abuse. But the definition is slowly opening up to include less obvious traumatic events such as emotional abuse from well-meaning parents.

So although it is true that the world is an unfair place, a man with a mother wound might believe that it is more unfair to him than to everyone else. This view is suggestive of this sense of victimhood, which is the recipe for an unhealthy relationship.

9. He has trouble holding himself accountable

More common in the case of an anxious mother that smothers her son with love, this happens when the mother fails to teach her son to own up for his mistakes. In her traumatized mind, she sees that as abuse and so never shows him how to be accountable for his actions. When he grows up, he finds it very hard to admit his mistakes because it makes him feel like a complete failure and hence unworthy of love or recognition.

Related Reading: 13 Ways To Make Him Realize Your Worth

10. He can indulge in impulsive behavior

The feeling of not being enough results in a range of impulsive behaviors, ranging from impulse shopping and instigating silly arguments to drug addiction and promiscuity. These feed into his need for constant validation and could bring with them some unhealthy attachments.

And every time he engages in this kind of behavior, he feels intense guilt, creating a vicious cycle that further damages his mental health. Younger guys are even more susceptible to falling prey to these unhealthy patterns, thanks to the glorification of sex and drugs in entertainment.

11. He has trouble setting boundaries with people

Setting healthy boundaries as an adult is very difficult for men with mommy issues. The experience of being smothered with anxiety-based love or of being neglected or abused sets a boy up for relationship disaster in adulthood.

In general, he will not set boundaries with people close to him, especially his romantic partners, for fear of losing these relationships. And on the flip side, he will put up walls with everyone else, effectively shutting himself from other relationships and unable to form deep connections.

Related Reading: 19 Examples Of Healthy Boundaries In Relationships

12. He does not handle criticism very well

A man who has issues with his mother will likely be hypersensitive to any and all criticism, even if it’s constructive. Even if you mean to encourage him to grow, he will take it as a personal attack. It will trigger a childhood memory of feeling alone or unseen due to his mother’s failure to provide emotional support.

13. He may have anger issues

Anger issues is another one of the important signs of mommy issues. All of us are taught from an early age to suppress negative emotions if we want to be accepted. Anger is one of these emotions. In the case of boys, they are often made to feel guilty for feeling angry with their mothers. The natural response in the boy’s brain is to learn to suppress this emotion for the sake of the most important woman in his life.

But this anger doesn’t go anywhere. When he grows up, it eventually boils to the surface and manifests as a rage event. And the most likely trigger for this will inevitably be the new most important woman in his life – his romantic partner. If your partner has frequent angry outbursts, you need to seek professional help ASAP to help him deal with these unresolved issues.

14. He tends to be codependent in relationships

Shivanya says, “A man who did not receive the love of a healthy sort growing up will carry a feeling of emptiness into adulthood. This results in him being codependent in his romantic relationships or looking at your love as a kind of validation for his existence.” This approach to relationships leads to all kinds of complications like the ones mentioned in this article. This is one of the biggest mommy issues in men signs.

15. He compares his girlfriend/wife to his mother

Shivanya explains, “Whether he loves his mother or has a strained relationship with her, a man with mommy issues may constantly compare you to her. In the former case, he will say things like, “But my mom would have done it this way.” In the latter, he may say, “You don’t listen to me. You’re just like my mom”.”

Related Reading: 8 Signs You Were Raised By A Toxic Mother: With Healing Tips From An Expert

How To Deal With A Man With Mommy Issues

So what can you do if you spot these mommy issues in men signs? It is easy to criticize, especially when the popular terminology –mommy issues – sounds so juvenile. Society tends to ridicule men with these issues by calling them “mama’s boy” or “mommy’s boy”. But it is important to remember that this problem comes from deep-seated childhood trauma. And if the goal is to grow, then criticism and shaming are not the way to go.

1. Be patient with him

It is not easy to spot a problem like this in oneself. Growing up with these issues can create a “fish in water” type of situation. How can you know something is a problem when it’s been your reality all along? Having said that, even upon becoming aware of it, it is no easy task to fix it. Decades of emotional trauma will not go away with the snap of a finger. In fact, it will not go away at all. The idea of “fixing” one’s emotional baggage is incorrect in itself. The way forward for a man with mommy issues is to learn to endure it mindfully and learn the appropriate responses to situations.

Related Reading: 11 Ways To Be Patient In A Relationship

2. Show him compassion

In addition to self-awareness, or lack thereof, no one chooses their trauma. It is something he has to live with whether you’re in the picture or not. If he’s doing the work to better his mental health, a little compassion from you could go a long way in his journey.

“Help him to understand that he can trust in his own judgment and abilities, that he does not need to lean on his mom or wife for everything. Help him learn to say no to his mother sometimes and to figure out when to involve his mom and when not to. But do so gently or he may feel attacked on behalf of his mom,” says Shivanya.

3. Set healthy boundaries

Needless to say, you must maintain your own healthy boundaries for your well-being. This includes boundaries between you and your partner, as well as boundaries between you as a couple and his mother.

Discuss these with him at length for a healthy relationship. Seek professional help if you need to. And who knows? Maybe he’ll learn this skill from you. Shivanya says, “Men with mommy issues need therapy to help them figure out how to free themselves from this unhealthy pattern. This will help him learn to own himself and his masculinity.”

Related Reading: What Is An Enmeshed Relationship? Signs And How To Set Boundaries

4. Don’t take on more than you can handle

If he clearly has mommy issues but refuses to do anything about it, then you have a choice to make. If you decide to stay with him, you might need to make a major compromise in your life to accommodate a mommy’s boy and be prepared for a difficult relationship. On the other hand, if you don’t want to feel like a third wheel with your partner and his mother, you could consider walking away.

5. Assess your own biases

But before you make such a big decision, you may want to ask yourself one question. Does he really have mommy issues? Or is it you that has issues with his mother? It could simply be that you don’t get along with her. A man’s relationship with his mother might not sit well with you for reasons that might elude even you. That does not necessarily make him a mommy’s boy.

In this case, you have to consider many other things. Like your expectations of family time involving his mother. If you end up making him choose between you and his mother at no fault of theirs, then you may be the problem here.

It is a tragic thing for a boy to grow up with a mother wound. It affects every aspect of his life, especially his romantic relationship. Fortunately, society is becoming more open to the concept of psychological healing, so there is hope for those that are struggling with it now. Therapy can go a long way in helping a man overcome mommy issues. So, if you both want to work on having a good relationship, that’s a great place to start.

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Being a filmmaker, especially during the earlier phase, is difficult. While you might have a lot of amazing ideas, you won’t have the right equipment to picturize it in most cases. After all, not having the right gear can take its toll in your career sometimes.

So, how do you take care of this issue?

Well, if you don’t have the money to buy a piece of gear, you may try renting it. There are a lot of people out there who are offering their equipment for a small price. 

Hence, you can always take it from them, pay the required amount, and give it back when the duration is over. However, here are a few things that you need to know in this aspect.

Will Renting a Camera be Affordable?

Well, yes. When you compare it to buying a camera, renting will always be a much affordable option no matter how you look at it. Heck, in this case, you’ll probably have to spend 1/20th of the money you had to use while purchasing a full-fledged camera model.

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However, here’s the thing.

According to philadelphia camera rental, the cost of renting a piece of camera equipment might depend on what you’re asking for. For example, the price of the lens will be much higher than a LCD screen or something as such. Also, the quality of lenses might play a role in this case too.

So, no matter what you are renting, don’t forget to ask the renter about specific charges as soon as you can. This way, you can create your financial plan in your own way.

What About the Duration of the Rental?

The rental duration of the camera equipment will entirely depend on the organization or renter you are working with. For example, some people might proffer you their tool for a whole week while the others may let you borrow the same for three days.

In any case, please remember, the price you are paying for the equipment might  also depend on the duration. So, let’s say, if you keep the item for seven days, you will need to pay much more than what you had to offer during a three-day duration. 

What is the Process of Renting a Camera?

Nowadays the process of renting a camera usually happens online. If you want, you can always go to the official website of the renter and –

• Search for the equipment you are seeking for your purpose.
• Check the price (it should be written below) and click on the ‘add’ sign.
• Once it’s added to your cart, you can go there and press on the ‘buy’ option.
• Now, you will need to add a billing address where the equipment will be sent.
• If you are done with it, all you need to do is to pay the price and that’s that.

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Most people tend to ask for credit card payment while renting their camera. However, you may also be able to use a debit card or a ‘cash on delivery’ option with some people.

The best thing here is that you can ask the equipment to be delivered wherever you want. They will not ask for any additional money, as long as they are capable of delivering there.

When Should You Rent a Camera?

Honestly, there’s no specific time to rent a camera. Yes if you have a huge job to take care of, it might be best for you to turn to a better and more capable option.

However, that’s not always the case.

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If you want, you can also rent a camera to try out a new gear before buying it. This way, you’ll have an idea about how you need to use the product properly.

Some people also consider renting to practice using a camera. It may be because they’re trying to understand how a camera works or they simply want to click a few pics during their journey.

So the aspect of renting a camera is quite subjective and depends on the person. In any case, we think it’s always better to rent a camera before buying it to check if it’s suitable for you or not.

Should You Lend a Camera Lens?

That’s literally the most common thing people rent. And there are two reasons behind it.

Firstly, the lens of the camera is considered to be the most important and expensive part of the entire equipment. Therefore, it might be best to rent it rather than purchasing it.

Secondly, not every type of lens works in the same manner. Their way of capturing light as well as offering contrast are different. By renting, you can understand what’s more suitable for you.

In any case, when you are renting a camera lens, always look for something that’s a little more compatible to you rather than going experimental.

After all, it’s always best to use something that you know about rather than going for an option that you have no idea about. This way, you’ll at least know how to make the most out of a lens before splashing your cash on it. However, again, it depends entirely on your preference.

So, go for whatever you want.

What Should You Ask Before Renting a Camera?

You should never rent a camera blindly. Always ask questions. It might be related to the camera or some of the policies they follow regarding their renting services.

For example, if this is your first time renting a camera, you should ask about –

• What is the price of renting an entire camera?
• How does the expense look if you want to get something more specific, like a lens?
• Does the company have any additional pricing policy?
• What will happen if you fail to return the camera within the asked duration?
• How much do you have to pay if you lose or break the equipment?

These are some of the common questions that you should ask before renting a camera. It has to be enquired before you get the camera, though. Or else, if something happens to the tool, you’ll be in grave danger.

It’s simple to let your mind wander to concerns about things you can’t change. That might be something that occurs to you in the not-too-distant future. It’s also possible that you’re feeling guilty about something you said last week.

Mindfulness practice might help you ignore your worries and concentrate on the here and now.

Because we face a formidable challenge in overcoming our reliance on electronic devices, we must establish routines within our everyday lives that refocus our attention on what truly matters. Also, don’t forget to keep yourself entertained with a simple RedStag casino login.

Although there is no substitute for regular mindfulness meditation, finding 20-30 minutes a day to practice might be challenging. A series of brief, daily micro-practices can instead develop focus.

1. Practice Gratitude Daily

Gratitude requires us to be mindful of the good things happening right now rather than dwelling on the negative. It helps us focus on the positive aspects of our lives and return to the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

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We can better prepare for a brighter future if we focus on the good things in our lives.

2. Practice Mindful Eating

The act of eating can be used as a reminder to be in the here and now. Eating at your desk, watching videos on YouTube, or reading as you eat means that you rarely give your whole attention to what you put in your mouth.

Mindful eating, however, has been demonstrated to improve digestion, leading to greater nutrient absorption and improved digestive health. In other words, when you sit for dinner, put your phone away, chew your food thoroughly, and pay attention to how you eat.

How fast or slow do you eat? How you eat your food says a lot about you. Tell me about the flavor of your food. You never know; the information you find could motivate you to enroll in a course on cooking.

3. Pay Attention to Your Surroundings

While outside, pay attention to your immediate surroundings. Take note of the vehicular activity. Pay attention to the passers-by. Take note of the lovely blossom. The breeze across your hair. Feeling the warm rays of the sun on your skin. If you’re housebound, you can do this while relaxing on your deck, yard, or walking or hiking.

4. Observe Your Heart

Also, the body constantly relays information to us through our feelings. You could feel anything from melancholy to happiness in the course of a single day. You can achieve greater harmony with yourself by keeping a close eye on your heart; the seat of your emotions. Use The Heart Math Institute meditation technique, as it is a product of decades of studies on the heart’s influence on our own and the health and happiness of others around us.

5. Demonstrate Active Listening

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As other people talk, we usually think about what to say next. Around halfway through a person’s thought, we zone out and don’t bother to listen to the rest. You can practice active listening when you have a conversation by focusing entirely on the other person. Use your whole being to listen, not just your ears. Try out some attentive listening and see if it improves the standard of your conversations.

6. Stay in the Present

In the same way that more structured forms of mindfulness can help you live in the now, so can less structured forms of the practice. Eating, bathing, strolling, touching a partner, or socializing with a child are all great opportunities to practice unstructured mindfulness.

7. Engage Your Senses

Focusing on the here and now is a simple yet effective technique for maintaining mindfulness. Put down your work and take a look at the world around you. Exactly what sounds are there? Exactly what aromas do you pick up? Consider the actions of those close to you. Spend a few moments focusing on the here and now by paying attention to whatever you’re doing with all of your senses, wherever you may be.

Concentrate on your five senses when you enjoy your morning meal, drive through the rain, or stroll past a lilac bush. Enjoy your pancakes, hear the showers on the windows, and inhale the crisp air of spring.

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Focusing on the five senses, sight, sound, smell, and taste, can help you become more in tune with the here and now and increase your gratitude for the incredible gift that is your body and the world surrounding you.

8. Use an App for Mindfulness Resources

You may easily carry numerous helpful resources inside your pocket in case you struggle to remember to practice mindfulness and if you want more ideas for mindfulness that fit your specific lifestyle.

There are apps for smartphones that can help you practice mindfulness and maintain a more peaceful and fulfilling lifestyle.

9. Focus on Your Breathing

Focusing on our breathing is another gateway to the present moment. Breathing occurs whether or not we are aware of it, yet focusing on it can improve concentration. Take note of your breathing patterns. What depth does it have? Focus on your inhalation and exhalation for five deep belly breaths. That should be repeated three times, and you should practice it several times daily.

Take Away

The wonderful thing about practicing mindfulness is that everyone can. Mindfulness can help you feel more relaxed, at peace, and content no matter what the day brings. When you finally start, you’ll ponder why you had to wait.

Masturbation can be as good for your physical and psychological well-being as sex. This is a quick fact-check for anyone who thinks there’s anything wrong with jacking off, having labeled it a sinful or shameful practice for some reason.

The effect’s masturbation has on the body and mind can do you good. Not that this makes choking the chicken 14 times a day a good idea, but still – all in sensible moderation.

Enjoyable, healthy, and something you have total control over, masturbation is something to be celebrated. This is why it’s such a shame to limit yourself to the more conventional forms of ‘‘adult entertainment’’ on the web when there’s something more immersive and enjoyable to try.

Live Cam Girls 

The difference with girls live cam sites lies mainly in the ‘‘live’’ aspect of the whole thing. Rather than watching a prerecorded (and decidedly unsexy) scene play out before you, you’re part of the action. 

Best of all, you can interact with those you check out in real time. You can tell them what you want to see, ask them what they want to see from you, and enjoy an explosive experience from start to finish. 

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Suddenly, you realize that masturbation can be so much more than simply wanking yourself into oblivion as fast as you can, as you’ve done since you first learned to do it. 

Masturbation with cam girls is an entirely different experience from the conventional approach. More specifically, it’s an opportunity to indulge in mutual masturbation anytime you like – all with no strings attached and no risks involved. It’s as close as you’ll get to a traditional hookup without actually hooking up. 

Not to mention, an ideal occasion to take your masturbation game to the next level in general.

How to Masturbate Like a Pro?

During your sessions with live cam girls, you can ask for all the tips and pointers you could ever wish for. No one on Earth knows more about masturbation and self-gratification, so who better to ask for a little one-on-one tuition?

We all like different things, but some basic ‘‘rules’’ for better masturbation apply across the board. Whether gearing to your next virtual date or simply looking to kill 10 minutes at home, here’s how to masturbate like a pro:

As with conventional sex, setting the right mood for masturbation can make a huge difference. Dim the lights, find somewhere comfortable to position yourself, maybe even light a few candles and put on some soothing music. It’s all about getting your body and brain in the mood for what’s to follow, rather than simply unzipping in a blindingly bright bathroom and fapping yourself crazy. 

• Experiment with new positions

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Changing things up position-wise can be as rewarding when masturbating as having sex. It’s entirely up to you how creative and bendy you get, but anything that’s a break from the norm is worth trying out. Some men swear they enjoy far more explosive orgasms when standing up, so this is one to give a shot to.

Try to get out of the habit of rushing to completion while focusing exclusively on your orgasm. There’s so much enjoyment to be taken out of the entire experience, start to finish, where sensuality and intimacy are concerned. 

Along similar lines, edging can be a fantastic way to make masturbation infinitely more enjoyable. This is where you bring yourself almost to the point of no return, only to stop for a minute or two before starting again. When you finally do reach orgasm, it’ll be one to remember.

The market for male sex toys is exploding with incredible contraptions engineered specifically to make wanking more fun. If you’re not already using them, you don’t know what you’re missing out on. 

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Simplistic, it may sound, but switching to your other hand can make a world of difference. Your junk will have gotten accustomed to a specific grip and motion over the years, so switching it up could be just the thing. As could the classic approach of wearing a glove if it’s something you’ve not tried before. 

Conclusion

In conclusion, cam girls have revolutionized the way people approach their masturbation sessions. They provide a safe, inviting and enjoyable environment for any user to explore their fantasies without judgement or fear of embarrassment. 

Regardless of whether you’re looking for some visual stimulation or want to engage in more interactive activities, cam girls can provide you with an experience you won’t soon forget.

Immigrating to another country in search of a better life is incredibly stressful. While you may, in fact, have more access to education, healthcare and jobs, becoming part of a new culture and making a home is overwhelming to say the very least. 

Therapy is a wonderful way to seek some guidance and resources to help you through this transition. Sadly, many immigrants come from cultures that look unfavorably upon therapy and mental health in general. Therapy is seen as something only the ‘mentally ill’ seek, not ‘normal’ people. But this simply isn’t the case.

Therapy is not just a clinical treatment but rather a journey of personal growth and exploration. It is also a way for people to heal personal trauma and generational trauma that many immigrants experience. 

Here are just some of the specific benefits therapy offers immigrants:

Process Emotions

Creating a new life in a new country, where there may be a language barrier, can be very distressing. So it’s common to feel overwhelming emotions such as frustration, fear, and helplessness. A therapist can help you recognize the many different emotions you are feeling and process them.

Navigate a Foreign Culture

Learning a new language and customs, as well as “the lay of the land” is beyond difficult. There are so many new things immigrants must learn when they make the big move. And because of this, it can make someone feel insecure, inadequate, and incapable of learning so much at one time. A therapist can be that voice that reminds you you are a whole, capable individual who is simply facing a really big challenge right now. In this way, therapists are like cheerleaders in your corner, encouraging you to keep going!

Integrate New and Old

How much of yourself will you need to change to fit into the new culture? How much of your roots and ‘old identity’ can you keep present in your new life? Therapy can help you find the right balance so you can integrate these two parts of yourself.

Seeking help and guidance does not make you weak or mentally ill. It makes you human. If you’d like someone to speak with who can help you navigate this challenging time in your life, please get in touch with me.

SOURCES:

https://www.npr.org/2020/01/23/799004218/going-to-therapy-can-be-hard-especially-for-immigrants-heres-how-to-start

https://allynetwork.org/resources/immigration-mental-health-how-therapy-can-help

https://www.therapizeindia.com/post/4-reasons-for-immigrants-to-consider-therapy

How Therapy Can Help Heal Immigration-Related Trauma

Therapy is a wonderful way to explore your inner world, process your feelings, and inspire transformation. But what my clients often tell me is that a day or so after our session, they begin to feel a little lost and anxious again.

It’s important to support the progress you’ve made with your therapist in between your sessions. Here is what I advise my own clients to do in between our sessions:

Keep Your A-ha Moments in Mind

Therapy is a space for profound A-ha moments. It’s important to hold onto those in the days after your session. Think more deeply about what was uncovered and see if any other pieces of information come to the surface. It’s a great idea to have a dedicated notebook to jot down anything that may come to you. Bring this with you to your next session so you can share your additional insights with your therapist.

Read

Ask your therapist to recommend some helpful books, blogs, or articles that may offer deeper insights into your issue. While reading about your issue will not resolve it on its own, it’s a great way to supplement your therapy sessions.

Journal

I have been an advocate for journaling for quite some time, so I was thrilled when research in the Journal of the American Medical Association stated that journaling has both mental and physical benefits. Journaling not only helps to manage stress and reduce anxiety, but it also can alleviate the symptoms of depression.

If you did just these three things, you would find your time in between sessions would be more enjoyable and help to facilitate further positive change.

SOURCES:

https://www.foundationscounselingllc.com/blog/what-to-do-between-therapy-sessions.php

https://themighty.com/topic/mental-health/mental-health-support-tools-to-use-between-therapy-sessions/

4 Things to Do Between Therapy Sessions

Regardless of what type of game you usually like, there’s a mobile title that suits your needs. For example, gamers can take advantage of a casino offer if they want to sample a variety of slots, from Starburst to Gonzo’s Quest. The same goes for other traditional casino games, from blackjack to roulette. 

Similar to casino gaming, word puzzles and match-three mobile games are also easy to find. Titles like Wordle have replaced Words With Friends, but the setup of word puzzles hasn’t changed much. Meanwhile, Best Fiends is starting to compete a bit more meaningfully with the staple Candy Crush Saga in terms of match-three titles.

But what about mobile games that aren’t just designed to pass the time? While word puzzles are certainly good for the brain, some apps are designed specifically with mental gymnastics in mind. If you’re looking to relax during your downtime without totally switching off your brain, then consider one of the titles below.

Sudoku

Sudoku is a number puzzle that helps improve a variety of mental functions. First, it challenges logical and critical thinking. Second, it also incorporates memorization. The demands are multifaceted, enough to keep a person occupied for hours.

Depending on how you prefer to play, you can select a mobile game that suits your needs. For example, AI Factury Sudoku uses machine-learning to create increasingly difficult puzzles for those tired of beginner challenges. Others, like Enjoy Sudoku, add visual elements to make the game a bit more engaging for casual players.

Monument Valley

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This mobile game became widely celebrated upon its release. That’s because it introduced a visually engaging narrative into a standard puzzle game. Players have to manipulate monuments, which defy understanding because of their strange composition. In other words, it used visuals as a foundation for its puzzles. 

If you’re interested in a bit of creative storytelling with your puzzle games, then Monument Valley will provide hours of engaging challenges. With plenty of surreal elements, it’s an engaging adventure even for those who don’t care too much for solving puzzles.

Luminosity

Billed as a ‘brain training’ app, Luminosity was developed specifically for the mind. Regardless of a person’s level of education, they can get started with this app in order to train their brain in a certain area. 

For example, speed games are designed to get the brain working faster. Memory games, on the other hand, are designed specifically to challenge recall. Flexibility games challenge the mind to switch from wildly different activities at the drop of a dime, while attention games are all about defying incoming distractions. If you’re looking to train your brain for a specific purpose, you won’t find a more fitting app.

Peak

Similar to Luminosity, Peak was created just for the mind. Through a series of diverse games and challenges, players can incrementally improve specific mental skills. However, Peak goes above and beyond by outlining the scientific studies that inspired its different games. 

If you’re interested in learning how games can train the mind, Peak’s exploration of cognitive function and training helped earn it awards from the Apple App Store and the Google Play Store. It’s won multiple awards, including the Best of the Year and Editor’s Choice awards for both the Apple App Store and the Google Play Store.

Left vs Right

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This mobile game takes players back to basics. It’s designed to be played in a short form, specifically for around ten minutes a day. This makes it a great choice for those who want to train their brain without diving into an hour or more of mobile gaming.

In Left vs Right, players are tasked with the simple challenge of swiping right or left according to the prompts. While this might seem extremely easy and even pointless, it helps activate the brain’s various lobes. And once these areas are activated, the brain is up and running like an engine. It’s a great exercise to keep the brain thinking quickly and accurately all day.

Belfast has been listed among the 50 best European city for singles, and approximately 47% of Northern Ireland’s two million residents are single.

But does that mean it’s easy to meet that special someone?

If you’ve been searching for a while, you know the answer to that question. Even though online dating is proven successful, your future partner might not use your favourite app.

So, we’ve put together some tips for meeting singles in Northern Ireland IRL, and even if you don’t connect with “the one,” you’ll have fun trying!

Start as Friends

The name of this blog post might be How to Meet Singles in Northern Ireland, but you don’t have to stick to that Google search to accomplish it. While online dating and singles groups can work their magic, there are other roundabout ways to meet someone with shared interests.

Both the Belfast Friendship Club and the North Belfast Friendship Club have members of all ages and backgrounds. They meet in casual environments like cafes and invite new attendees to join their Facebook Group to continue the camaraderie.

It’s easy to get to know people, and even if you don’t spot a potential partner in the mix, your new friends might have some recommendations.

Be a Patron of the Arts

Lisburn’s Island Arts Centre isn’t just a top attraction for visitors in the area. It’s a place for arts lovers to wander, take classes or workshops, and attend events.

Whether you wander a museum or an arts centre, there are all kinds of people who appreciate the same thing. Plus, you’ve got built-in conversation starters, as well as places to sit, relax, and people-watch.

The Island Arts Center has a Community Arts Walkway, Buzz Visits with tutors, painting classes, music, and more. You might come across family groups, but plenty of singletons in the area appreciate the music and special events.

Pedal Your Way to a Potential Partner

Whether you enjoy mountain biking, taking your e-bike for a spin, or a good old traditional cycle, you’ll find a club near you. However, if you live in East Antrim, we’ve got a suggestion.

The Integrity Cycle Club has members ranging from 16 to 70 years old. It started in Ballyclare and now extends to Carrickfergus, Belfast, and beyond. Members of the “leisure club” cover all abilities, so there are no worries about keeping up – they don’t leave anyone behind.

Clubs like these are perfect for meeting other singles. It’s relaxed, everyone gets to know each other, and you get a workout!

Speed Dating with a Twist

You’re probably already familiar with speed dating if you’re searching for how to meet singles in Northern Ireland. The concept has been around for quite a while now. And it’s a proven way to make some love connections.

You get just a few minutes to meet potential partners and make a good first impression (and vice versa). If both of you tick the box expressing interest on your submission card, the host puts you in contact with each other.

There are new twists on speed dating events with additions like wine and food tastings. However, we especially like Belfast’s Match Made Dating’s variation. It’s an outdoor event at Helen’s Bay Beach in Bangor, where dogs are welcome. Not only is it more comfortable having your fur baby with you, but your pup is a great judge of character!

Match Made Dating doesn’t have the doggie lovers’ event all the time. But keep an eye on their site so you don’t miss the next one.

Take Your Pick at the Grouse Complex

A night out in Ballymena might just be the ticket to meeting someone new. There’s no better place for nightlife, whether you’re looking for something a bit tamer so you can have a conversation or you’d rather be on the dance floor showing off your moves.

You have your pick of both (a twofer!) at the Grouse Complex. The Smoking Monkey offers a laid-back vibe with food, cocktails, and music, while the award-winning Origin Nightclub is a haven for singles in party moods.

You can’t go wrong with either one – just pick the one that suits you best, as you’re looking for someone with similar interests.

Northern Ireland Young Walkers

Are you a singleton in your 20s or 30s? If so, you might want to join a unique walking club specifically for outdoor enthusiasts in your age range.

The Northern Ireland Young Walkers have been around since 2005 and now have about 100 members. Not only will you get some exercise hiking the Antrim Plateau, Mournes, Sperrins, and Wicklow, but there are also social events on the schedule.

You’ll typically have refreshments in the car parks where everyone meets up. But other activities include pub quizzes, dinners, dancing, and parties. It’ll be easy to make some friends straight out of the gate, and you can be sure many of the participants are singles like you.

Dog Parks Filled with Single Dog Parents

If you’re an animal lover, dog parks and play areas are ideal places to meet other single pet parents. It’s easy to start a conversation with someone who catches your eye, as they have nothing to do but keep an eye on their fur baby.

Beechgrove Doggy Fun Park in Bainbridge is an excellent choice. It’s a park and training centre, and you can even join a play group, so you get to know the regulars. Don’t worry if you’re not in County Down, though; there’s sure to be something similar near you.

Be an Event Volunteer

There’s no lack of volunteer opportunities throughout Northern Ireland. But if you’re looking to meet other singles, you’ll get a twofer by volunteering at a theatre or event centre.

North Ireland Screen has a volunteer program for festivals like the Belfast Film Festival. It’s a feel-good and excellent way to mingle with some people excited about the film industry. Who knows who you could meet?!

Ready To Get Out and Meet Northern Ireland Singles?

We’ve hit the highlights of some places to meet singles throughout Northern Ireland that might not be top of mind. But that’s the point.

Sometimes the best things in life are off the beaten path. So, joining a new group or hanging out at some of your favourite places like museums or art galleries might be more successful than a designated singles event.

However, when you’re excited about meeting other singles, make yourself approachable and don’t be afraid to start a conversation. You’ll have an easier time connecting with someone if you’re not surrounded by a group of your mates or scrolling through your Instagram feed instead of looking up to see what’s around you.

Attracting younger women can be a challenge for men over 40.

However, with the right mindset and approach, it’s completely achievable.

In this article, we’ll explore some common questions men in their 40s have about attracting younger women, and provide answers and tips to help you succeed.

Can I really attract younger women when I’m over 40?

Yes, you can absolutely attract younger women when you’re over 40.

While it’s true that some women may be hesitant to date someone significantly older, many are attracted to the qualities that older men possess, such as maturity, confidence, and financial stability.

To attract younger women, it’s important to approach dating with a positive and self-assured mindset, rather than letting age be a limiting factor. Focus on your strengths and qualities as a partner, such as your life experience, stability, and emotional intelligence.

Highlight your unique attributes and be proud of who you are. By doing so, you can naturally attract women who appreciate and value you.

What should I focus on to attract younger women?

To attract younger women, it’s important to focus on your self-development.

This means taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Hit the gym and focus on improving your physical fitness. Dress well and take pride in your appearance. Develop new skills and hobbies, and seek out experiences that challenge you and help you grow.

Younger women are often attracted to men who are confident, interesting, and passionate about life. By focusing on your own growth and development, you’ll become a more attractive and well-rounded person, which will naturally make you more appealing to younger women.

How can I connect with younger women?

Connecting with younger women requires a different approach than connecting with women your own age.

Younger women tend to be more open-minded and adventurous, so it’s important to be spontaneous and fun. This could mean trying new activities, exploring new places, or simply being more playful and lighthearted in your interactions.

It’s also important to be respectful and genuine in your interactions with younger women. Don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not or manipulate them into liking you. Be honest about your intentions and your interest in them, and respect their boundaries and preferences.

Listen attentively to what they have to say and show an interest in their lives. By connecting with younger women in a respectful and genuine way, you’ll be able to establish a strong connection that can lead to a meaningful relationship.

Is it okay to date women significantly younger than me?

While it’s generally acceptable to date someone who is younger than you, there are some important considerations to keep in mind.

First and foremost, it’s important to ensure that you’re both on the same page about what you want from the relationship. If you’re looking for something serious and long-term, make sure that your partner is on board with that.

Similarly, if you’re not interested in having children, make sure your partner is aware of that. It’s also important to be mindful of potential power imbalances in the relationship. Be sure to treat your partner with respect and kindness at all times, and never take advantage of them or their naivete.

How do I approach younger women without coming across as creepy?

Approaching younger women can be tricky, as you don’t want to come across as creepy or inappropriate.

The key is to be respectful, genuine, and confident. Start by making eye contact and smiling. Strike up a friendly conversation about something you have in common, such as a shared interest or activity.

Avoid using pick-up lines or making inappropriate comments about their appearance, and respect their boundaries if they’re not interested. Ultimately, the best approach is to be honest and authentic, and to let your true self shine through.

Conclusion

Attracting younger women when you’re over 40 is completely achievable with the right mindset and approach. By focusing on your self-development, being confident and authentic, and connecting with younger women in a respectful and genuine way, you’ll be well on your way to building a successful dating life.

If you’re looking to take your dating confidence to the next level, check out my personalised coaching sessions. As a dating and self-confidence coach for men, I’ve helped countless clients improve their dating skills and transform their love lives.

With my expert guidance and support, you’ll be well on your way to attracting the women you desire. Don’t wait – start your journey to success today!

 

Stephen Hussey

On our new podcast episode, Matt and I talked about people’s biggest fears.

One of the most popular: “I’m worried I’ll never find love.”

Few of us cannot relate to that feeling. Especially in the worst throes of heartbreak and repeated disappointment. But I would wager that although great love feels (and is) rare, it’s actually not as rare as we make it out to be.

Belief is a funny thing: If we are optimistic, we are not guaranteed success. But if we’re relentlessly pessimistic, we’re almost guaranteed to fail. So it pays to be an optimist here, as it does in the pursuit of any goal or dream. To help with this, I think it pays to remember two basic facts:

 

1. You are deeply loveable

2. There is an enormous amount of love out there

 

The second one is true by definition of just how many people in the world feel they have an incredible supply of love to give. The first one…is trickier. But that’s where the work comes in.

I’m not one for believing you have to have all your shit together to find love. That would be an insanely demanding task, and we know many people out there who are a hot mess in many parts of their life internally and externally, but still manage to secure a happy family.

What you do need though, especially if you want to hold down a healthy and long-lasting relationship, is to have some foundational beliefs. You need some sense of worth, an idea that what you have to say is worth hearing, a sense of confidence in your own appeal and desirability as a partner.

That might mean we have to do work internally i.e. to crush negative scripts in our head that say we are undeserving, or it requires the external work of making our life a beautiful world for someone new to enter, or at least one filled with passion and the possibility of stability, growth, fun, adventure, and friendship. To paraphrase Charlie Munger: “The best way to attract a great partner is to deserve one”.

There is also luck involved. Which is why you have to stack the odds as much as possible to get them in your favour. This involves: taking care your physical appearance, working on your communication, taking chances to start conversation, practicing flirting and going on dates. We have to make it easier for fate to drop the right person in our lap.

But the core facts remain true:

You are loveable.  

There is an abundance of love to be found.

We can get off to a pretty good start with those.

Getting into rebound dating is so common that it could even be considered a cliché. However, a lot of people are still confused as to how a rebound relationship works. If you are one of those people, you may have a lot of questions about rebound relationships and how they work, such as:

• What is a dating rebound?
• What does rebound mean in dating?
• Are rebound relationships healthy?
• Can a past relationship affect a rebound date?
• Is dating on a rebound safe?
• How do you know if you’re looking for a rebound date?
• Is there a difference between a rebound relationship and a committed relationship?
• What are some rebound relationship signs?

All these questions and more will be answered in this article, so read on to know about new coping strategies regarding a rebound relationship. For now, just understand that a rebound date happens when you start looking for someone new to cope with the pain of a breakup, especially if you’re getting out of a serious relationship.

What Is Rebound Dating

Before we get into the details about how rebounds impact you and the other person and the signs that you’re on one, let’s address a basic question: what is a rebound in dating? While dating on the rebound can be a complicated experience for many, a simple definition of rebound dating is when you get into a string of short-term relationships or are caught in a casual dating loop as a way to get over a previous relationship or deal with the pain of heartbreak. Some people even use rebound dating apps like Bumble or Hinge to help them find a new partner.

A rebound date can be seen as a form of relationship recovery as many people tend to feel better about themselves once they find a new partner. Here are a few traits that are common in rebound relationships:

• They typically last a few weeks
• There is no real emotional connection
• You don’t know your current partner all that well
• You still secretly desire your ex
• You are constantly on the lookout for a new person

Pros And Cons Of Rebound Dating

By now the question of what is a rebound in dating or what does rebound mean in dating should be answered sufficiently. So, let’s move on to the pros and cons of dating on a rebound. As mentioned before, a rebound date is not for everyone, and you may enter the relationship expecting something completely different than what your new partner is looking for. You may even see there are no signs of relationship compatibility with this new parnter. And things can get very messy very quickly from here on out.

That’s why, it’s important to understand the benefits and drawbacks of rebound dating to assess whether it is right for you:

Pros	Cons
Can help get your mind off your former relationship	Does not allow you to form a meaningful emotional connection
Rebound dating can be sexually gratifying	Does not let you heal from your past relationship
Can act as self-preservation mechanism for some people	If you’re a sensitive person with high emotional needs, it can degrade your mental health
Helps you look forward to a new relationship	You forget how to care for another person
Can help boost your self-confidence	Your emotional needs are unmet
Helps you work on your relationship skills	Rebound sex may become all you care about

13 Signs You’re On A Rebound Dating Spree

Now that you know the pros and cons of rebound dating, it’s up to you to figure out if it is the right fit for you. As problematic as this practice is considered to be, it can help some people cope with heartbreak and move on. But, more often than not, it tends to contribute to emotional hurt and trauma. Often, the person who ends up being the rebound partner is the worst affected in it all.

The bottom line is, not everyone can rebound date. So, before you get pulled in too deep, it’s important to recognize if you are on a rebound dating spree. Here are a few key signs to look out for to know if you are a serial dater.

Related Reading: The 5 Stages Of A Rebound Relationship

1. Always thinking about your ex

The most obvious sign that you are on a rebound dating spree is when you cannot get your ex out of your head. If you find yourself constantly thinking about your previous relationship or former partner, it should be pretty clear that there are still some lingering feelings that you have not dealt with yet.

2. Sex is all you care about

Most rebound relationships revolve around sex. While sex is a part of any new relationship, you can tell it is a rebound relationship if sex is all you care about. A healthy relationship based on a strong emotional connection does not revolve around sex, so if you constantly seek new sexual encounters, chances are you still have an emotional attachment to your ex.

3. Not forming meaningful bonds

Allowing yourself to be emotionally vulnerable is one of the perks of being in a real relationship. It allows you to connect with your partner and enables you to grow as a couple. Rebound relationships do not have that. When you are simply rebound dating, you are unable to form a meaningful and fulfilling bond with your partner.

Related Reading: My Ex Seems So Happy With Her Rebound – How Do I Deal With This

4. You no longer have standards

One of the subtler signs that you are on the rebound is when you no longer have the same standards for a partner that you used to. It is at this point that you would accept anyone as your rebounding partner regardless of if you like their behavior or personality. This is an unhealthy coping mechanism as your emotional needs would never be met in such relationships.

5. Committing too soon

Another sign that you are on a rebound dating spree is if you find yourself making long-term promises which you fail to keep, to partners whom you barely know. While this is normal after a recent breakup, if you find yourself constantly making promises of love really quickly and then reneging on them, then it is one of the signs you are in a rebound relationship.

6. You’re always finding faults with your current partner

In a romantic relationship, you generally tend to see the best in your partner, especially in the honeymoon phase, and want to get to know them better. This allows you to build on the positive aspects of the relationship while trying to overcome the negative. However, in a rebound relationship, you would be constantly looking for reasons not to like your current partner. In other words, you are looking for reasons to break up. This is one of the unhealthy relationship patterns you need to watch out for.

7. You struggle with trust issues

One unfortunate sign that you’re dating on the rebound is when you find yourself having trust issues even though you have no reason to do so. This is a consequence of still having negative feelings toward your previous partner. If you realize that you are unable to be vulnerable with your partner, you can be sure that it’s a case of rebound dating.

8. Social media competition of who is more over whom

Another glaring sign that you’re on a rebound dating spree is that one of the major motivations behind being with someone new is to make your ex jealous through social media. You constantly post on social media, trying to portray your life as perfect. When, in reality, the goal of this is to make your ex believe that you are over your last relationship.

Related Reading: 12 Signs Your Past Relationships Are Affecting Your Present Relationship

9. You never move past the honeymoon stage

Another sign that you’re looking for rebound sex is when you break off a new relationship as soon as the honeymoon stage ends. You tend to stick around while the relationship is still fun but find a reason to leave as things start getting a little more serious. As long as this commitment-phobic behavior continues, you will never be able to have a lasting and healthy relationship.

10. You don’t see your partners as people with emotions and needs

If you are looking for some rebound relationship signs, an obvious one is when you don’t really recognize your partners as people anymore. You aren’t invested in your new partner’s emotions, needs, or goals. In your mind, they exist just to serve you. A rebound can thus become a hallmark of an unhealthy relationship, where you tend to take what you can from your partner and give very little in return. This will prevent you from ever having an equal partner whom you can move forward with.

11. You’re bitter in relationships

Another sure sign of a rebound relationship is when you are constantly bitter toward your new partner, even during the honeymoon stage. No matter how many romantic relationships you start, there always seems to be an abundance of negative feelings. This is because you are still not over your last long-term relationship. You need to learn how to escape negative feelings if you hope to stop feeling bitter toward your new partner.

12. You feel hollow when you’re alone

One of the signs you’re on a rebound dating spree is when you can’t seem to spend any time by yourself. You are constantly on the lookout for a new partner to distract yourself from the fact that you still have lingering feelings from your last relationship. This stage is quite normal after a recent breakup. However, if you continue with this behavior, you never give yourself a chance to truly heal from what you went through, and it will prevent you from forming a stable long-term relationship.

13. You feel like a fraud

One rebound relationship sign is that you constantly feel like you are lying to your new partner. This generally happens because you ended your last relationship on a bitter note and you are trying to put your best foot forward while finding a new date. While this behavior is normal after a recent breakup, if your rebound dating spree has gone on too long, you will feel like you are lying to your dates.

Related Reading: 12 Clear Signs You Are Infatuated And Not In Love

Why Dating On The Rebound Isn’t The Best Idea And How To Snap Out of It

According to an empirical research study, rebound relationships are typically detrimental to your mental health. It is found that most people get into this type of relationship for rebound sex. However, if you still have negative emotions about or unhealed emotional wounds from your previous relationship, those compounding issues may quite possibly cause you to seek solace in this unhealthy coping technique. Dating on the rebound can be a bad idea for many reasons, such as:

• You don’t heal from your previous relationship
• Rebound sex is all you think about
• Your current relationship feels like a bad joke
• You do not share an emotional connection in your new relationship
• Neither you nor your partner is truly happy in the new relationship
• It is a reactionary relationship
• You forget what a serious relationship looks like
• Gives rise to more negative emotions

By now, you should know that dating on a rebound is not the healthiest option around. If you find yourself stuck in a dating rebound, there are things you can do to snap out of it. Some of the most effective methods are:

• Seek professional advice from a licensed mental health professional
• Work on your relationship skills
• Do not rush into your next relationship
• Understand your emotional needs
• Know why your relationship ended
• Be honest and let your partner decide if they want to be your rebound

With these tips, you should know if you are on a rebound dating spree and if it is right for you. This entire process requires some honest introspection. As long as you keep these points in mind, you will know if such a lifestyle is suitable for you. You should also understand that everyone heals from former relationships differently and in their own time. So, if dating on the rebound has worked for someone you know, do not be surprised if it does not work for you. That just means that you need to find another healthier way to deal with the emotions that you are feeling.

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Sexual Health

Endometriosis (or endo, for short) is a condition that, despite its surprising prevalence and known detrimental effect on sexual function, gets very little attention from healthcare providers and the overall community at large.  Many of you readers probably have never even heard of endo.  But chances are you’ve known someone who has suffered from the disease.  And some of you may even have endo and not know it. 

Endometriosis refers to a condition in which cells similar to the lining of the uterus, also known as the endometrium, grow outside the uterus.  Endo most commonly involves the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and the surrounding tissue within the pelvis (think: the vagina, cervix, vulva, bowel, bladder, and/or rectum).  More rarely, endometrial-like tissue (called implants) may be found beyond the pelvis including in the lungs, heart, brain, and skin.  It’s a condition that can have detrimental effects on a lot of bodily functions like urination, menstruation, defecation, and yes, sex. 

 The exact cause of endometriosis remains a mystery.  Endo is an estrogen-dependent disorder that likely involves an interplay between predisposing factors, environmental conditions, inflammation, metabolism, formation of ectopic endometrial tissue, and generation of pain.  Several studies have investigated the potential link between exposure to environmental dioxins and endometriosis, but the evidence is equivocal and potential mechanisms are poorly understood.  Endometrial implants can behave just like normal endometrial tissue.  These implants thicken, break down and bleed with each menstrual cycle.  But because this tissue has no way to shed, it becomes trapped.  Surrounding tissue can become irritated, eventually developing scar tissue and adhesions—bands of fibrous tissue that can cause pelvic contents to stick to each other. 

 

 

Recognizing endo can be challenging for those affected and their healthcare providers.  This is due, in part, to the non-specific and sometimes subtle nature of endo symptoms.  Endo may affect more than 11% of American people with uteruses between the ages of 15 and 44 (Buck 2011).  It is most common in the 30s and 40s but can affect people at any age after menarche (first menstruation).  Approximately 70 million people worldwide suffer from endometriosis.  One-third of people with chronic pelvic pain have endometriosis.  Endo also seems to have a genetic component, meaning if you have a family member with endo, you may be more likely to have endo yourself.  In fact, there is a six-fold increased incidence in people with an affected first-degree relative.  Still, despite these impressively high numbers, it takes an average of 11.4 years in the United States to get accurately diagnosed with endometriosis.  This has to change. 

Pain is the most common symptom, but can vary depending on the person.  People with endo may experience pain with menstruation.  Some may describe this as intense cramping while others will report that their periods are so painful, they often become debilitated (sometimes missing school and work or are unable to perform mundane, daily tasks) until the pain resolves.  Many people have been led to believe that pain with menstruation is normal and so often stay quiet despite the intensity of their pain.  Providers too may chalk it up to normal menstrual cramps and not explore further.  Endo pain can be chronic, sometimes felt deep in the pelvis or in the lower back, which can further complicate proper diagnosis.  People with endo can experience pain with bowel movements or urination, sometimes associated with bleeding.  Pain can also occur during or after sex, which can make endo difficult to identify. 

Further complicating things, sometimes pain is not the presenting symptom.  People with endo may report bleeding or spotting between periods.  They may have trouble getting pregnant.  They may report generic gastrointestinal (GI) symptoms like diarrhea, constipation, bloating, or nausea during their periods.  All of these symptoms are commonly seen with conditions other than endo including irritable bowel syndrome and other GI disorders, interstitial cystitis or painful bladder syndrome, vulvodynia, and pelvic floor disorders. 

 

 

Even when one suspects endometriosis, it can still remain difficult to diagnose.  Occasionally, pelvic exams can be helpful but are often non-specific.  Ultrasounds, computed tomography scans, and magnetic resonance imaging are all terrible at diagnosing the problem.  And there are no reliable lab tests that can identify endometriosis.  In fact, the diagnosis is typically only confirmed following exploratory surgery with excision of suspected endometrial implants and distinctive histological findings. 

All this may sound discouraging, but the best thing you can do for yourself if you suspect endometriosis is to speak to your healthcare provider about it.  Endo is a complicated condition that often requires a multidisciplinary team to manage.  An earlier diagnosis may result in better management of your symptoms. 

Endo and Sex

Now that you’ve been schooled on the ins and outs of endo, let’s talk about sex.  We’ve already mentioned that pain during sex (also called, dyspareunia) can be a common symptom seen with endometriosis.  This pain is often experienced with deeper penetration and may be described as dull, stabbing, tight, or crampy.  Because of this pain, people with endo often minimize the frequency of sexual activity or even develop an aversion to sex altogether.  Moreover, the quality of life and mental health of people who experience dyspareunia are significantly negatively affected (Van Poll 2020).  But approximately two-thirds of people with endometriosis have sexual dysfunction that is not limited to deep dyspareunia (Barbara 2017).  Endo can also negatively impact other aspects of sexual function including libido, arousal, orgasm, and sexual satisfaction.  The quality of life and sexual satisfaction in people with endometriosis and chronic pelvic pain are significantly lower than in those without endo and can also affect their ability to maintain lasting romantic and sexual relationships (Shum 2018). 

The link between endometriosis and dyspareunia gets even more complicated when you consider one of the most commonly prescribed treatments for the condition—hormonal ablation.  Gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) agonsists (medications like Lupron) and continuous oral contraceptive pills are equally effective in treating the pelvic pain associated with endometriosis, which can lead to a decline in pain intensity and reported improved quality of life (Guzick 2011).  This reported improved quality of life typically refers to pain improvement not necessarily improvement in sexual function.  But hormonal ablation can also cause hirsutism and acne, hot flashes, bloating, vaginal dryness, headaches, mood lability and anxiety, orgasmic dysfunction, decline in sexual desire, and a different kind of dyspareunia.  So, their utility in the treatment of endo is limited.   

 

 

Hormonal ablation can result in a hormonal milieu unfavorable to the genital tissues.  These medications often cause depletions of estradiol and testosterone, both of which are needed to keep certain genital tissues happy and healthy.  Deficiencies in estradiol and testosterone can lead to diffuse tenderness of the vestibule, the entryway to the vagina.  This, in turn, can cause pain with initial penetration—a condition we refer to as superficial dyspareunia.  Superficial dyspareunia is typically described differently than deep dyspareunia, often referred to as a burning, dry raw, or sandpaper-like sensation.  So, in essence, hormonal ablation in the treatment of endometriosis can result in trading one type of pain (deep/pelvic) for another (superficial). 

When dyspareunia is present it can result in a vicious cycle of pain and sexual dysfunction.  One researcher described it this way: The association between coital pain and sexual dysfunction is the result of repeated experiences of sex associated with pain and fear of pain. The fearful reaction in turn negatively affects desire, arousal, reward, lubrication, loss of genital congestion, and heightened pelvic floor tone in a circular model (Pluchino 2016).  For many people, it can be difficult to break this cycle, resulting in years of unsatisfactory sex, failed romantic/sexual relationships, sexual avoidance, and sometimes feelings of isolation. 

 Fortunately, there are options beyond hormonal ablation in treating endometriosis.  As we alluded to previously, a multidisciplinary approach is often best.  Surgical excision of endo implants has been shown to improve pelvic pain, deep dyspareunia, and quality of life without resulting in some of the other negative sexual side effects associated with hormonal ablation.  In fact, many people who undergo excisional surgery report an increase in frequency of sexual intercourse and improvements in several sexual function metrics.  Surgery also avoids a “band-aid” kind of approach by actually addressing the implants directly, not simply trying to hormonally suppress their function.  In addition to surgery, people with endo often benefit from sex therapy and pelvic physical therapy.  Sex therapy can help recognize and treat associated the psychosexual ramifications of endo and can be useful in addressing potential effects on sexual partners.  Pelvic floor dysfunction is almost always present in people with endometriosis.  Pelvic floor PT can be helpful in managing persistent and recurrent pain, which can aid in breaking the pain reinforcement cycle. 

There are a number of additional treatments that can be helpful.  These include, but are not limited to: cognitive behavioral therapy, hypnosis, mindfulness and meditation, yoga, acupuncture, nutritional education and diet modification, traditional and neuropathic pain medications, cannabis, trigger point injections, peripheral nerve blocks, neuromodulation, and pelvic floor injection of botulinum toxin.  Many people will require more than one treatment modality to address their endometriosis, so finding an experienced, multidisciplinary team is crucial. 

Conclusion

Endometriosis is a common problem, but we have a long way to go in understanding its causes and recognizing the condition in individuals.  Without a doubt, endo has a negative impact on sexual health and function, but so too can some of the treatments employed to manage the condition.  The last thing you want to do is trade one sexual problem for another, so consider some of the therapies we discussed above that don’t have detrimental effects on sexual function.  And most importantly, if you are experiencing some of the endo symptoms mentioned, say something.  The sooner you find yourself a team of experienced providers, the quicker you will be on your way to treating endo and reclaiming your sexual and overall quality of life. 

 

 Buck, L.G.M., Hediger, M.L., Peterson, C.M., Croughan, M., Sundaram, R., Stanford, J., Chen, Z., et al. (2011). Incidence of endometriosis by study population and diagnostic method: the ENDO study. Fertility and Sterility; 96(2): 360-5. 

Van Poll M, Van Barneveld E, Aerts L, et al. Endometriosis and Sexual Quality of Life. Sex Med 2020; 8: 532–544. 

Barbara G, Facchin F, Buggio L, et al. What Is Known and Unknown About the Association Between Endometriosis and Sexual Functioning: A Systematic Review of the Literature. Reprod Sci 2017; 24: 1566–1576.  

Shum LK, Bedaiwy MA, Allaire C, et al. Deep Dyspareunia and Sexual Quality of Life in Women With Endometriosis. Sex Med 2018; 6: 224–233.  

Guzick DS, Huang LS, Broadman BA, Nealon M, Hornstein MD. Randomized trial of leuprolide versus continuous oral contraceptives in the treatment of endometriosis-associated pelvic pain. Fertil Steril. 2011 Apr;95(5):1568-73.  

Pluchino N, Wenger Jean-Marie, Petignat P, et al. Sexual function in endometriosis patients and their partners: effect of the disease and consequences of treatment. Human Reprod Update 2016;6:762-774.