Category: Dating & Love

As we age, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that our learning days are behind us. After all, if you read all the articles in the news about the state of education today, you could be forgiven for thinking learning is just for young people. Learning for older adults is hardly ever discussed.

But we think it should be! 

Research shows that learning at an older age is not only beneficial, but it can also be essential to maintaining good physical and mental health. Learning new skills keeps our minds sharp, helps us stay connected to the world around us, and can even reduce the risk of cognitive decline. 

One of the unique features of Stitch is that it’s a community full of people from all walks of life, with a wealth of knowledge and many years of experience to share. 

It’s no surprise, then, that Stitch community members regularly connect (either virtually or in person) to learn new skills or explore new interests. All while having the opportunity to share their knowledge with others, creating a supportive environment where members can connect and learn from each other.

We are constantly impressed by the Stitch members who share their passion for lifelong learning for older adults, connect with others with shared interests, and — most importantly — have fun together!

What sorts of things can I learn?

New workshops, classes, or lessons are published frequently. Remember, Stitch is member-driven, so all activities are created by members, for members. Older learners have a number of options to choose from. Below are some recent examples we’ve seen from members in various different categories on Stitch.

Art

Learning art as an older adult can be a fulfilling and rewarding experience. It offers a chance to express oneself creatively and explore new ways of thinking and perceiving the world. Art can also serve as a form of therapy and stress relief.

Hobbies

Learning new hobbies can be a great way to stay engaged, active, and mentally sharp. Hobbies can offer a sense of purpose and accomplishment while providing opportunities to socialize and meet new people.

Personal improvement

Whether through exercise, meditation, or exploring new philosophies, there is no time limit on looking at ways to improve yourself. Instilling a sense of personal growth and development can help you feel fulfilled and satisfied with your life.

Can I share my expertise?

Absolutely! 

Sharing your expertise can have numerous benefits for yourself and others. One of the primary benefits is the opportunity to help others by sharing your knowledge and experience. By offering guidance and advice, you can help others overcome challenges and achieve their goals, which can be deeply rewarding. As a bonus, sharing your expertise can help you solidify your own understanding of a particular subject or skill. It’ll also provide a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and opportunities to learn from others and discover new perspectives.

If you’d like to find out what activities are available for you on Stitch, why not register for a free account today?

Are you a beginner or a seasoned bettor? It doesn’t matter when it comes to safety. It’s important to know how to protect yourself from unnecessary risks when betting on tennis and other sports. In this article, we outlined our top picks for the best betting sites to bet on tennis without unnecessary risk. Besides, we’ll provide an overview of the key factors to consider when evaluating different websites. Read on to learn more about how to make sure your bets are secure!

The Safest Betting Sites Available in 2023

When it comes to betting on tennis, there are a plethora of websites. They offer different levels of security and customer service. To make sure you’re not taking any unnecessary risks, you should select a reliable website. Here is a list of our top picks for betting on tennis and other sports safely.

1XBET

This sportsbook is one of the biggest names in the industry and has been around since 2007. Their platform offers a wide selection of tournaments, leagues, and bets from all over the world. They also have an impressive website design and provide money withdrawal options for your selected region. Visit 1xbet India website to check it out yourself.

Unibet

This leading sportsbook is renowned for its excellent customer service and secure banking services. They offer a great selection of both pre-match and in-play betting options. Several promotions are also available to make your bets more exciting.

William Hill

This one offers one the most user-friendly betting interfaces on the internet. William Hill is nothing but a great option for those looking for an easy-to-navigate platform. They also offer several security features. One of them is money and personal information encryption on remote servers.

888Sport

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This popular sportsbook offers a wide range of pre-match and in-play betting options. You will also find a variety of promotions and bonuses to sweeten the deal. They also boast an impressive website design and easy-to-use mobile app.

Betfair

This cutting-edge sportsbook is known for its modern features and secure payment options, making it a great choice for those looking to take their betting experience up a notch. They offer a wide selection of tournaments and bets to choose from, as well as several promotions and bonuses.

What to Consider When Choosing a Betting Site

When selecting a website to bet on tennis, there are several key factors you should consider. Most importantly, you want to make sure the site is reliable and secure. Don’t forget to think about: 

• the selection of sports
• leagues
• promotions and bonuses available
• user-friendliness
• website design 

Security and Safety Features

First and foremost, it’s vital to check that the betting site you are using is secure. Look for websites with SSL encryption technology that protect your data from hackers. It’s also important to make sure the site is licensed and regulated by a reputable jurisdiction. For example the UK Gambling Commission or Malta Gaming Authority. It depends on the country you live in. Not on the country the website is based in. 

You should also check that there are measures in place to safeguard your personal and financial information, such as: 

• two-factor authentication 
• regular software systems audits for fairness and integrity
• legal server locations
• compliance with your local regulations

User-Friendliness and Website Design

Another key factor to consider when choosing a betting website is user-friendliness. You should make sure the site is easy to use, with a clear and intuitive layout. The website should also be mobile friendly, so you can conveniently place your bets on the go. 

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Also Read: How to Make the Most of Sports Betting?

Selection of Sports, Leagues, and Bets

It’s important to make sure the betting site you choose offers a good selection of sports, leagues and bets. The best sites will offer a wide range of markets, including pre-match and in-play options. You should also check that there are plenty of tennis tournaments available to bet on. 

Bonuses and Promotions

Finally, you should consider the bonuses and promotions offered by the website. Reputable sites will often offer welcome offers and other incentives to reward new customers. You should also check for ongoing offers such as enhanced odds or free bets. This is a great way to get more value for your money when betting on tennis!

Also Read: Top 5 Most Popular Casino Games

Money Withdrawal Options

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Finally, it’s important to check the withdrawal options offered by the website. Make sure there are reliable methods available so you can withdraw your winnings quickly and securely. Look for sites with multiple payment options including debit cards, e-wallets and bank transfers. 

By taking into account all of these factors, you can make sure your bets are secure and that you’re getting the best experience possible when betting on tennis. Be sure to do your research and pick a reliable website that prioritizes safety!

Conclusion

Betting on tennis can be an exciting way to make some extra money if done correctly. To ensure your bets are secure and successful, it’s important to select a reliable betting website that prioritizes safety. When evaluating websites, make sure to consider their security and safety features, user-friendliness and website design, selection of sports, leagues and bets, bonuses and promotions, and money withdrawal options. Doing your research will help you make the most out of your betting experience.

There are times when you feel like your boyfriend is falling out of love with you. You feel like he is exerting signs he wants you to leave him alone. You feel neglected, unheard, and unseen because the one person who matters the most is turning a blind eye to you and your affection. Maybe he feels suffocated, or he is feeling unhappy in the relationship, or has other things on his mind. I know this must be a difficult time for you.

A study by Dr. Machin on how men and women perceive relationships concluded that, “The war of the sexes is still alive and kicking within our relationships. The research shows that successful relationships are much more essential to women’s well-being than men’s. Men seem to keep their relationships at arm’s length with one eye on the dating market.”

20 Signs He Wants You To Leave Him Alone

It’s not just painful to be ignored by the love of your life. It’s also confusing. You don’t know if you should leave him alone if he ignores you or to pursue him and find out what’s bothering him. It’s also disrespectful toward the love you both have for each other.

Some people are not brave enough to be upfront about breaking up with you. They go around in circles and resort to a lot of negative actions to make you break up with them instead. All this, just to free themselves from the ‘breakup guilt’. Maybe he is dealing with family issues or he is facing stress at work or even battling childhood demons.

But none of those reasons should be targeted at you and make you feel like you’re not needed. Below are some obvious signs he wants you to leave him alone.

1. One-word answers

This is one of the ways I found out my former boyfriend was falling out of love with me. Whether it was in text messages or in person, he would manage to answer my questions in a single word. “Yes”, “No”, “Maybe”. Those three words became his go-to answers for everything I asked. It’s hard to describe the level of frustration I experienced. 

How do you go from talking about the most random things in the universe to just “okay”, “good to know”, and “whatever”? I was sure of two things when communication dropped from hour-long chattering to one-word replies. He was either falling out of love with me or he had found someone way more interesting to talk to about his life. When they give you short answers, that’s one of the signs he is ignoring you for someone else.

If a guy is unsure about you, he should tell that to your face. We are strong enough to take it. It’s nothing short of hell when you are desperate for him to just talk to you. No grand gestures, no romantic dates. Just talk. That’s the least he can do to show you that you are respected. If he can’t, it’s one of the clear signs he doesn’t care about you. 

2. He has no time for you

He could be busy with work or attending a family event and genuinely has no time to spend with you. It’s not one of the signs he wants you to leave him alone. He could be truly busy and you might be overthinking this. If he has told you once he’s busy, then don’t panic and do trust him. 

However, it’s one thing to be occupied with work but it’s downright rude to completely cut you off willfully. If he is deliberately choosing to occupy himself in order to spend less time with you, then it’s one of the signs you need to leave him alone. You deserve someone who will try to make time for you within a busy schedule. 

Related Reading: 9 Emotional Effects Of Stonewalling On Your Relationship

3. Signs he wants you to leave him alone — He is irritable most of the time 

How do you tell if a guy wants you to leave him alone? When everything you do seems to rub him the wrong way. He is making you feel like you are the cause of his stress and irritated mood. No matter what you do or how far you go to make him happy, he always seems miffed with you when you’ve done nothing to put him in a bad mood.

Jennifer, a dermatologist, says, “I was once in a toxic relationship where my partner was always grumpy. At first, I thought maybe he is going through an emotional turmoil and wants to be left alone. But soon I realized he was fine with everyone else. That irritable mood was reserved for me alone. That’s when I knew I’d had enough and ended the relationship.”

4. Avoids intimacy of any kind 

Was it hot and heavy when you started dating him? Always kissing and ready to jump into bed to make love. If he has abstained himself from sexual intimacy, then it’s one of the signs he wants you to leave him alone. The importance of sex in a relationship should be understood by all the couples because sex is one of the major factors that binds a romantic relationship.

Sex is a stress-relieving way of expressing your love toward your partner. When asked on Reddit how important sex is in a relationship, a user replied, “Very important. Obviously it’s not everything, but main way I feel loved and cherished is by physical affection, and so sex is a major part of that.”

5. He fights with you over petty issues

How do you tell if a guy wants you to leave him alone? When he fights with you all the time. Fights are natural and very much needed for a relationship to thrive and survive. Partners in even the most stable relationships end up arguing once in a while. But arguing constantly in a relationship over big and silly things can be emotionally draining.

The distance will only grow more if the quarreling doesn’t stop. You can’t keep loving him when all you get in return are baseless and futile arguments. If he snaps at you for the smallest of things, it’s one of the signs you need to leave him alone. There is a deeper problem behind these constant fights that needs to be addressed. 

6. He doesn’t fight at all

On the flip side, if he seems uninterested and ignorant about everything that’s happening around you both, it’s one of the signs he wants you to leave him alone. No argument is a sign of lack of communication. If he is deliberately avoiding an argument, then it’s one of the signs he wants you to leave him alone. It could mean he doesn’t care about fixing things. 

When asked on Reddit if lack of fights is normal, a user shared, “Every couple is bound to disagree on some things, have misunderstandings, and sometimes hurt feelings. It is not necessary to “fight” though. You don’t have to scream and yell, or slam doors and whatnot. Talking things out and discussing issues is healthy, if you consider that fighting, then I’m sure everyone does that from time to time.” 

7. He is rude and disrespectful

Respect is important in every relationship. When he is disrespectful and rude toward you, it will negatively impact your self-esteem. Respect needs to go beyond the honeymoon phase. He can’t be rude to you or take you for granted because he is not interested in you anymore. That’s unacceptable.

His poor treatment toward you is an indication he is not interested in maintaining the relationship and it’s one of the signs of lack of respect in a relationship. Apart from disrespecting you verbally, there are other actions that portray his uncivil behavior:

• Doesn’t respect your time
• Doesn’t keep his promises
• Has a condescending behavior, like insulting the things that interest you 
• Dismisses/invalidates your feelings 
• Avoids any kind of conversation because he is afraid it will turn into an argument
• Belittles you
• Gives you the silent treatment 

8. No eye contact anymore

Eyes are famously known as the “windows to the soul”. Mutual gaze is a sign of attraction, passion, and love. If your partner is hesitant to look you in the eye and talk, then it’s one of the subtle signs you need to leave him alone. 

A study published in the Journal of Research and Personality, in which two opposite sex strangers were asked to gaze into each other’s eyes for two minutes, found that this was enough in some cases to produce passionate feelings for each other. So much so that one of the couples even got married a year later.

9. None of his plans include you

He makes decisions on his own. He goes on trips without you. Or worse, if you ask to accompany him on one of his trips and he says he wants to go alone, then it indicates he doesn’t enjoy your company anymore. If you see him making plans with everyone but you, then it’s one of the signs he wants you to leave him alone. 

When you’re in love with someone, you want to feel included in their plans, be it short-term or long-term. Leena, a 27-year-old journalist, shares, “I knew it was over when he accepted a job offer in another city. He didn’t even tell me he applied for a job. I was completely blindsided. It was heartbreaking.”

Related Reading: Why Do Men Look At Other Women – 23 Real And Honest Reasons

10. Spending time together has become a chore 

The purpose of any romantic relationship is to feel loved, cared, and wanted by the other person. You feel a sense of belonging in their presence. It takes a lot to keep a relationship going but that’s not a bad thing. When you love someone, you want to put in that extra effort just to make them happy.

But when he looks at all this as his ‘duty’, it’s one of the signs he doesn’t care about you. When you treat the simple act of care-giving as an obligation, it loses its purpose. When hanging out becomes a chore, it leads to a lack of intimacy, communication issues, and neglect of one another’s emotional needs. 

11. Other things are prioritized over you 

By priority, I am not saying he has to choose you over anybody else. He doesn’t have to choose you over his family and friends. You can’t become someone’s universe. You can be a part of it but you cannot entirely become their everything. They have a life of their own which they need to live in order to be sane. You know what’s one of the signs of unconditional love in a relationship? When he knows how to prioritize you.

So, how do you tell if a guy wants you to leave him alone? When he chooses to hang out with his friends on your date night. You’ve already planned the date and he agreed to it. Now, he suddenly flaked out to chill with his friends instead. This is one of the alarming signs he wants you to leave him alone. 

12. Deliberately ignores you 

Everyone’s busy with their lives. But he can’t text you back and tell you he’ll reply later? It’s always a conscious choice to ignore someone you love. It’s one thing to ignore your phone calls and messages but it’s extra hurtful when he does this in person. It’s as if he can’t see your existence. He is always watching TV, playing video games, or scrolling through his Instagram feed, but can’t reply to a text. My ex-boyfriend used to ignore me whenever we had a fight. It made me go insane. 

When asked on Reddit about how to acknowledge and pay attention to your partner, a user replied, “My boyfriend puts his phone on silent and away whenever we’re together. He never picks it up. I’ve never talked to him about phone etiquette or anything. It’s just something you do out of respect. I don’t check my phone either. We are 100% present when we are together.” 

13. He isn’t vulnerable with you anymore

Vulnerability is an intimate language not everyone can be fluent in. It’s a thoroughly calculated risk you take in relationships, only if you completely trust and love that person. It’s one of the characteristics of a healthy relationship because it allows you to see your partner’s unfiltered version. That’s when you find out your partner is a human being with flaws and imperfections. 

But if he constantly chooses ‘safe’ topics to have conversations about, then it’s obvious he wants to avoid being vulnerable with you. The unwillingness to express his emotions freely means he is withholding his true self and doesn’t want you to see him as he is. He is either not sure about you or doesn’t trust you enough to open up. 

14. He flirts with other people

One of the worst signs he wants you to leave him alone and end the relationship is when he openly flirts with others. You’re there sitting in a restaurant with him and he checks out someone else. He smiles at them. He even tells you how attractive they are. Or you are at a party together. All of a sudden, he is being too sweet to a stranger and he openly flirts with others too.  In such times, you don’t know what to do when your partner flirts with others.

If he does all that and you’ve found signs of ‘the other’ person in his life, then leave him alone if he ignores you for them. He could even be cheating on you. But it’s not just cheating that breaks a relationship, is it? It’s how you make the other person feel by disrespecting the trust they place in you. 

15. He isn’t affectionate with you anymore

It’s the little things like listening to you, looking into your eyes, smiling at you whenever your eyes meet, making time for you, and holding your hand. It’s these romantic gestures that make you feel loved. How long has it been since he’s done any of that? Lack of affection in a relationship leads to many problems.

My friend Sam recently went through a breakup. I asked him which sign made it obvious that the relationship was nearing its end. He replied, “We loved sitting close to each other during meals, we would snuggle in bed, or have our shoulders pressed together on the couch while watching TV. I knew we were nearing our end when I started relying solely on these memories of what we used to be like, in order to justify staying with him.” 

16. He acts as if you’re a burden

When he makes you feel like a burden or that he has sacrificed everything to be with you, it’s time you walk away from the relationship. It’s one of the signs he doesn’t care about you. All acts of love now seem too much to him. Going out for dinner, spending time with you, listening to your stories, and healthy compromise seem like sacrifices to him. If he keeps behaving like this, then it’s one of the signs you need to leave him alone.

Related Reading: 10 Steps To Help You Move On From A Serious Relationship

17. He criticizes everything you do 

When he constantly criticizes you, he is trying to hurt you. He is being spiteful for no reason. Your partner should be someone you can lean on. But his constant criticisms are taking a toll on your mental health. When you confront him about this, he will get defensive and reply, “It’s just a joke.” There’s a thin line between laughing with someone and laughing at someone. 

I dated a guy briefly back in college. It was just casual dating but he was quite a jerk. He would constantly criticize my body. I was a little chubby back then and he once touched my belly and said, “You’re a little hippo, aren’t you?” I was appalled but for some reason, I chose to ignore it. He constantly criticized everything I did. From my choice of clothing to makeup to eating preferences. It was deeply disturbing. I ended it the day he criticized my career and called it a “dead-end”. 

18. He lies to you

Little, harmless lies are common in every relationship. It’s not a perfect world where everyone is honest all the time. In the real world, everyone tweaks the truth a little bit here and there. However, a recent study published in The Journal of Neuroscience found that people who told a white lie actually had selfish motives for telling that lie. 

In that context, big lies can definitely ruin a relationship. Every relationship is built on honesty. When you lie, it damages mutual trust. It’s never just one lie. It’s one lie after another until it becomes a mountain and ends up crumbling. 

19. He talks about taking a relationship break 

Relationship breaks are taken to be sure about someone or just to have some space. He might be battling a trauma and wants to deal with it all alone. Or he might want to focus on building a career. But if none of the legitimate events are the reasons for a relationship break, then it’s one of the signs he wants you to leave him alone.

While talking about relationship breaks, a Reddit user shared, “Breaks are just breakups to me. My significant other wanted a break earlier last year. It was a break up from my perspective because “breaks” are really just half-assed back-up plans in my opinion.” Some breaks, though, are quite important for the health of a relationship. But if you experience this, along with the other signs, it’s definitely concerning.

20. He threatens to break up but never does 

This is an emotionally abusive habit which is a definite relationship killer. How can you threaten to leave someone you love? If he wants to leave you, he would have done that by now. Threatening you that he would leave you is just another way of exerting control over you.

Joanna, a mechanical engineer, says, “Threatening to break up is manipulative and induces fear. It can even lead to anxiety. It’s immature behavior from your partner’s side. It’s one of the clear signs to leave him alone if he ignores you or stonewalls you after threatening to break up with you.”

A man who wants to be in your life will never act in a way that’s intentionally hurtful. If he is trying the push-and-pull behavior with you, that’s also one of the signs he wants you to leave him alone. If he doesn’t want you, then you’re better off without him. Don’t think it’s the end of the world. It’s just the end of a relationship. Something much better awaits you. 

FAQs

How To Confront A Cheater – 11 Expert Tips

17 Subtle Signs Your Ex Still Loves You But Is Scared

Why Do Men Come Back Months Later – When You Have Moved On

Hello, I’m Gary Gunn, founder of Social Attraction. Over the years, we have helped countless individuals overcome various challenges in their dating lives and achieve their personal goals.

Whether it’s overcoming the fear of approaching women during the day, navigating the modern dating scene after a long hiatus, or building a thriving social circle, our personalised coaching programs have proven to be highly effective in transforming our clients’ lives.

In this blog post, we’re excited to share with you three inspiring case studies that demonstrate the incredible impact that Social Attraction coaching can have on people’s lives.

If you enjoy this article and find it valuable, then my team and I can help you get more dating success by investing in one of our courses. For more information, download our Social Attraction Training Course PDF Brochure.

Client case study #1: Tom’s Transformation

Tom, a 44-year-old man, was stuck in a rut when it came to his dating life. He found it difficult to approach women during the day, which led him to rely on alcohol to build up courage during nights out.

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❌ Tom’s fear of approaching women during the day was rooted in several limiting beliefs, including the fear of rejection, lack of confidence, and self-doubt.

❌ This caused him to resort to alcohol-fuelled nights out, where he often felt that he was competing with other men for women’s attention.

❌ This approach left him feeling unfulfilled and unsuccessful in finding meaningful relationships.

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We designed a comprehensive program tailored to Tom’s needs. Our coaching process included the following steps:

✅ Mindset Shift: Through a combination of exercises and coaching sessions, Tom’s mindset began to change. He started to believe that he was capable of making meaningful connections with women during the day without relying on alcohol.

✅ Daytime Approach Strategies: Tom was taught effective daytime approach techniques that allowed him to engage women in conversation without feeling invasive or intrusive.

✅ Rejection Management: Our coaches equipped Tom with the tools to handle rejection and maintain a positive attitude despite potential setbacks.

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The end result – Through the Social Attraction coaching program, Tom experienced a transformation in his dating life.

He successfully overcame his fear of approaching women during the day and learned a healthier and more effective dating strategy.

This led Tom to meet a 32-year-old woman who fitted in with his new healthier lifestyle, three months after our coaching, and they are now together and still dating.

Client case study #2: Frank’s Journey 

Frank, a 48-year-old divorcee, found himself back in the dating scene after a 20-year marriage with no experience in modern dating; and a lack of confidence in his ability to navigate being single.

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❌ After a long marriage, Frank faced the daunting task of re-entering the dating scene.

❌ He struggled with understanding modern dating norms and lacked the confidence to approach and connect with new romantic interests.

❌ This left him feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to begin dating again.

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We developed a customised program to address Frank’s unique needs and concerns, which included the following steps:

✅ Modern Dating Education: Our coaches taught Frank about the latest dating trends and norms, including dating platforms, texting etiquette, and how to understand modern dating.

✅ Personalised Dating Strategies: Based on Frank’s personality, preferences, and goals, our coaches designed a tailored dating strategy that catered to his particular situation.

✅ Confidence Building: Frank was provided with practical tools and techniques to build his self-confidence, including body language, voice tonality, and personal grooming tips.

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The end result – Through the Social Attraction coaching program, Frank was able to regain his confidence and successfully re-enter the dating scene.

With his newfound ability to navigate modern dating practices and platforms, Frank went on to date multiple women and enjoy romantic experiences.

Frank’s experience with Social Attraction coaching illustrates the profound impact that personalised coaching can have on individuals getting back into dating a long hiatus; by providing them with the tools, knowledge, and support needed to navigate modern dating.

Client case study #3: Matthew’s Breakthrough 

Matthew, a 38-year-old man, had relied heavily on his friends to meet women throughout his life. However, as his friends settled down and got married, he found it increasingly challenging to meet new people and expand his social circle.

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❌ Matthew’s reliance on his friends to meet new women left him feeling isolated and disconnected as they began to marry and settle down.

❌ He struggled with building a social circle and lacked the confidence to approach women on his own.

❌ Had very limited opportunities to meet potential romantic partners.

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Our tailored program helped Matthew overcome his challenges and take control of his dating life. This program included the following steps:

✅ Expanding Social Circles: Our coaches guided Matthew on effective strategies to make new friends, engage in social activities, and expand his network.

✅ Developing Independent Dating Skills: Matthew was taught various techniques for approaching and connecting with women without relying on his friends.

✅ Travel and Adventure: Our coaches encouraged Matthew to embrace solo travel and explore new destinations, providing him with opportunities to meet new women.

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The end result – Matthew experienced a significant transformation in his social and dating life by undergoing out coaching program.

By helping Matthew expand his social circle, build confidence, and develop independent dating skills, we enabled him to take control of his social and dating life.

Matthew’s journey demonstrates the effectiveness of Social Attraction coaching in empowering clients to lead fulfilling and adventurous romantic lives, regardless of their starting point.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the success stories of Tom, Frank, and Matthew highlight the life-changing impact that personalised coaching from Social Attraction can have on individuals facing various dating challenges.

These case studies demonstrate that, with the right guidance, tools, and mindset, anyone can overcome their limitations and build a fulfilling, thriving dating life.

No matter what obstacles you may be facing, our tailored coaching programs are here to support and empower you in your journey towards personal growth, self-confidence, and romantic success.

If you enjoy this article and find it valuable, then my team and I can help you get more dating success by investing in one of our courses. For more information, download our Social Attraction Training Course PDF Brochure.

Resources

1. Eastwick, P. W., & Finkel, E. J. (2008). Sex differences in mate preferences revisited: Do people know what they initially desire in a romantic partner? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94(2), 245-264. This study examines the role of personal preferences and initial attraction in romantic relationships. The findings suggest that people may not be fully aware of their preferences, emphasizing the importance of coaching and guidance in helping individuals identify and connect with suitable romantic partners.
2. Greitemeyer, T. (2010). Effects of reciprocity on attraction: The role of a partner’s physical attractiveness. Personal Relationships, 17(2), 317-330. This study investigates the effects of reciprocity on attraction and the role of physical attractiveness. The research highlights the importance of self-confidence and developing skills to initiate and maintain reciprocal interactions in romantic relationships, supporting the need for coaching in areas such as body language, voice tonality, and personal grooming.
3. MacDonald, G., & Leary, M. R. (2005). Why does social exclusion hurt? The relationship between social and physical pain. Psychological Bulletin, 131(2), 202-223. This study examines the relationship between social and physical pain, showing that social exclusion or rejection can have significant psychological impacts. The findings underscore the importance of rejection management and maintaining a positive attitude in the face of potential setbacks, as taught in the Social Attraction coaching programs.

This is one of the most common complaints I hear from singles. And it’s not because you’re not attractive, or there are no men out there, or they all want to date 20 years younger, or online dating just doesn’t work for me. (It works for everyone else, just not me).

Nope. That’s not why.

So, let’s take a look. Online texting/messaging is both an art and a science. The art portion is being imaginative, short, sweet and knowing your audience. The science part is super simple: Here we go with stats! On average, an online dater can expect that with every 10 messages they shoot into cyberspace, one will answer. Gulp. Ok, if you are super talented with messaging, it may be 2, even 3 in 10.

But like Wayne Gretzky said “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”.

1. Statistically, if you have not met him/her within 5 days of the initial message, the date/meet will never happen.
Did that floor you? This is true 95% of the time according to a Stanford study. As a dating coach advising singles for over 25 years, I wholeheartedly agree. Cyber dating moves fast—here today, gone tomorrow. Don’t wait!

2. “Saving people” you may be interested in.
Ok, this amazes me as I work with intelligent people. What does this mean? We will be looking at potential matches together online, and I get the comment, “Let me think about him/her”. I ask “Why and for how long”. You know the answer: “I want to see who else is out there”.

You just lost. Please don’t do this. Here is my Rule of Thumb: If someone told you that the Powerball ticket you were thinking of purchasing gave you a 50-50 chance of winning, would you buy it? Of course.

Same logic applied here. If there’s a 50-50 chance you might like them, why does it hurt to send a message? Worst case, you’ll get a bit more info on them. Best case, you’ll love their message and a date ensues. I can’t tell you how rare it is that someone looks at a match online and says “Oh, I know there’s a 90% chance she is the one for me”. How could you know that from a simple profile and a couple of thumbnail photos?

Want some help? I love coaching clients with online dating. I want you to find the person you are looking for! Schedule a Free 15-Minute Chat with Me! Click here. No pressure.
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3. Hearts/Flowers/Winks/Smiles/Likes
Don’t even get me started on this one. You send any of the above without a message, you just wasted your time.

4. Cut/Paste Messages
We know. And who wants to respond to this message.

For men it goes like this: “Hey beautiful, I like your profile”.
For women: “I liked your profile. We have lots in common”.

Zero effort here. It’s either someone clueless about messaging…or they’ve been online forever and are burnt out. Either way, don’t respond. And please don’t become one of these people!

5. Paragraphs, and paragraphs and paragraphs
Yes, I run into this working with my clients. They have sent an interesting message to a potential date, and what do they get back? A novel on this person. I’m totally serious. On Monday with one client we got a reply that was 8 paragraphs telling us his life story. Both our eyes glazed over after the first few sentences…who wants to date someone who spills their life on a dating site. TMI!

As Michael Jordan said: “The key to success if failure. I’ve never been afraid to fail”.

And as an expert in dating, he is so right!

So, what works? I’ll get into that in my next article. But here’s a preview: Short, Sweet, Gracious, Funny, Quirky, and asking a good question! More on that Saturday.

Happy Dating, my friends!

Warmly,

Andrea McGinty
Founder, ItsJustLunch and 33000Dates.com
Dating Coach/Dating Counselor
702-494-7344

#dating

#datingexpert

#datingtips

#datingproblems
#writingadatingprofile
#matchmaking

Have you ever wondered why you feel a rush of euphoria and excitement when you see someone you’re attracted to? It turns out that there’s a scientific explanation for this phenomenon.

In this episode, we delve into the role that dopamine plays in our brain chemistry and its impact on love and sex. We examine the difference between dopamine and serotonin, and how dopamine can create feelings of anticipation and intense pleasure.

Did you know that the dopamine high of marriage can be even stronger than the high from falling in love? We’ll explain why this is the case, and what happens when dopamine levels fall too low.

But it’s not just about dopamine – we also discuss the importance of serotonin in our overall health and wellbeing. We’ll offer some suggestions on how to increase your serotonin levels, which can help improve your mood and overall sense of wellbeing.

Finally, we’ll touch on the topic of sexual health and explore ways to improve it. We’ll offer practical tips and advice that you can start implementing today.

Join us as we explore the fascinating world of the brain’s response to love and sex.

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Relationship Radio is hosted by CEO of Marriage Helper, Kimberly Beam Holmes, and founder of Marriage Helper, Dr. Joe Beam.

Regardless of your situation, what we teach will not only make your relationships better, but will also help you to become the best version of yourself along the way.

Relationship Radio is released every Wednesday and is an extension of Marriage Helper.

Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. We love hearing from you!

For more resources about your specific situation, visit marriagehelper.com.

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Whether you are moving some hundred miles away to another state or country, completing a long-distance move can prove challenging. Unlike short-distance moves, where you can throw everything in your van, a long-distance move requires extensive planning. There’s a lot that goes into planning for a long-distance move.

Unfortunately, most people focus on finding a moving company, a new home, creating a budget for the move, and other logistics involved, often overlooking the importance of the packing process. Below is a guide to help you pack better for a long-distance move.

What to do Before Packing?

Contrary to what most people think, packing goes beyond picking the right boxes and stashing your items. Being organized is crucial during the packing process. Below are a few things you should do before packing:

Create a checklist

The packing process is overwhelming and stressful regardless of the distance of the move. Keeping track of the different moving parts involved during packing is difficult, and you can easily forget important things. Creating a checklist ensures you don’t forget anything and gives you a timeline to complete important tasks, such as changing utilities.

Take an inventory of your items

Realizing that you forgot important items or documents when packing or unloading is disappointing. Like the checklist highlighting your activities, you should have a list of all your belongings. An inventory makes tracking all your belongings during and after the move easy.

Declutter

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Decluttering is an important part of preparing for the move. While it is tempting to relocate with all your belongings, you should get rid of non-essential and rarely used items. Decluttering also reduces the quantity of your belongings, significantly saving on moving costs. You won’t lose much by donating old clothes and books.

Find a reliable moving company

Finding a moving company before you start packing is also important. Your choice of moving company can directly affect your moving schedule and the safety of your belongings. Moving companies have different services, making it necessary to find one that offers services that meet your needs. Find a professional long-distance moving company, let them assess your items, and give an estimate of the moving costs before packing. Some companies offer packing and unpacking services.

Where to Start Packing When Preparing To Move?

With a plan in place, you can now start packing. While it might seem overwhelming, having an inventory and knowing what to pack first simplifies the process. Pack your home for the move following the order below:

• Storage items – whether you have a designated storage unit, use your garage, or use a hidden compartment in your walk-in closet, packing items in the storage area first when preparing for the move is easy. Ideally, most items in storage units are kept in boxes, making it easier to sort and repack. Don’t forget to get rid of non-essential items and repackage items to reduce the load size.

• Out-of-season clothes – packing out-of-season clothes is also very easy. Like items in your storage units, off-season clothes are normally categorized or packed in boxes. Besides, you won’t need these clothes for several months after the move, meaning you can keep them among the last in a pile. Nonetheless, sort through these clothes and donate or discard those that no longer fit.

• Rare-use dishes – these dishes can also be kept last in the pile, since you certainly won’t host dinner parties immediately after the move. Remember to pack them carefully and label boxes containing them as fragile.

• Picture frames, artwork, and wall hangings – packing wall hangings and artwork can prove challenging. You should start with these decorations since you don’t need them while packing. Besides, it is very easy to forget when the struggles and anxiety of moving out kick in. Use cushioning materials to protect glass frames during transit.

• Sentimental items – you should also prioritize packing sentimental items when preparing to move. Like artwork and wall hangings, you can easily forget these items if you decide to pack them later. Be it an old journal or a jewelry box, pack these items in your first packing boxes.

• Extra towels and linens – you should empty your supplies closet in the early stages of preparation. If you don’t have enough packing boxes, use your extra towels and linens as cushions for fragile items like glasses.

• Books – your mini library should also be among the first things to pack when preparing for the move. Donate books you’ve already read and return borrowed books to the library and respective owners.

Packing Tips to Ease Your Long-Distance Move

Consider the following tips when packing for a long-distance move:

• Use the right size of moving boxes – use small boxes for books and heavy items and large boxes for light items, like pillows and linens. Packing heavy items in large boxes makes it difficult to load and unload.

• Pack boxes with distance in mind – most people forget this when packing for a long-distance move. If you are packing fragile items, wrap them with bubble wrap or an old t-shirt for additional protection.

• Label boxes with your name or a unique identifier – unless you intend to rent a moving truck for the move, most long-distance moving companies combine boxes from different clients to save on costs. Label your boxes with your name or a unique identifier to prevent mix-ups during drop-off. You should even consider writing down your phone number or new address.

• Choose the right packing materials – it is certainly tempting to pack your belongings in complementary boxes from local stores. However, these boxes aren’t sturdy enough and might not protect your items during transit. Invest in quality packing materials for guaranteed peace of mind.

• Disassemble your furniture – you should disassemble your tables, desks, and bedroom sets to ease transport. It also saves space, ultimately reducing moving costs.

The Bottom Line

Many people are moving to different states and across the country due to the increasing adoption of remote work, in search of job opportunities, to live closer to their families, and for many other reasons. Deciding to make a long-distance move is the beginning. After you’ve decided on your new home, you should have an elaborate plan to move your belongings in one piece.

Is Male Fertility in Danger? A Look Into the Alarming Trend of Dropping Sperm Counts

The concept of a sperm count is not something guys think about much.

In fact, unless you’re actively trying to conceive with a partner, there’s a good chance you don’t think about it at all. Which isn’t unreasonable — a lot of the time, if guys are spending any time worrying about what they’re ejaculating, they’re more concerned with the size of their loads than how many sperm are in them.

But that could be changing. Recent, reliable data suggests that sperm count numbers are dropping around the world and have been for several decades now.

And while there’s no imminent cause for alarm at a societal level, it can be disconcerting to hear that we’re in the midst of a shift like that, particularly when the exact causes remain somewhat murky, and — as the experts note — there’s no indication of the decline slowing or coming to a halt.

RELATED: How to Increase Sperm Count

In order to get a better sense of what’s going on in the world of sperm counts, how it affects our readers and what you can do about it, AskMen spoke to a couple of fertility experts. Here’s what they had to say:

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Are Sperm Counts Really Dropping?

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“A recent systematic review of 38 different studies found that average sperm concentration has declined annually from 1973 to 2018,” says fertility expert Dr. Alex Robles of the Columbia University Fertility Center.

The meta-study in question, which looked at studies conducted between 1973 and 2018, analyzing data from over 55,000 men in more than 50 countries, shows that sperm counts are down between 50 and 60 percent over the past half-century. While the study concluded there was no change in semen volume, sperm counts are down significantly by just about every measure.

Now, as you may be well aware, it only takes one sperm to fertilize an egg. You don’t need millions upon millions of sperm in order to conceive, and even if sperm counts are down, they’re still, on average, in the tens of millions per milliliter of ejaculate.

But scientists suggest a high sperm count is a sort of fail-safe measure against being unable to reproduce, as even a best-case scenario in terms of sperm count and ovulation may only produce a 10% chance of creating a pregnancy. The lower your sperm count, the more times it may take to be able to conceive.

“The authors of this research stated that sperm counts have dropped so low that it can make conception difficult,” says men’s sexual health and wellness expert Brenden Durell, “and the average couple around the world would need to seek medical treatment in order to conceive.”

Perhaps most concerningly, according to Randall Loy, MD, reproductive endocrinology and infertility specialist at the Center for Reproductive Medicine, “there has been no ‘leveling-off’ yet noted in these trends. These findings strongly suggest a dramatic decrease in male reproductive health, which has serious, broader implications beyond fertility.”

Loy also points out that, while the worldwide trend is downward, “there were no significant declines in sperm counts in studies from South America, Asia, and Africa.” However, he notes, this may be due in part to “an absence of such studies from these countries prior to 1985.”

In any case, the drop in North America, Europe and Australia is severe — and backed up by a lot of data.

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Why Are Sperm Counts Dropping?

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It would be helpful if there was an easy thing we could point to and identify as the culprit, but, as is often the case with public health concerns, there’s no one clear factor to blame here — at least, not yet.

RELATED: Everyday Activities That May Be Impacting Your Fertility

“It’s difficult to pinpoint any specific causes as to why sperm counts are dropping,” says Dr. Robles. “It is likely due to a combination of factors, including environmental and lifestyle factors such as poor diet and exposure to endocrine-disrupting chemicals.”

“Studies done by scientists at the University of Aberdeen and Hasselt University found evidence of ‘forever chemicals’ impacting the body from early stages of infancy, which can potentially impact fertility later in life,” says Durell, who also noted that air pollution has been linked to infertility by other studies.

Diet can also be a factor — but a potentially tricky one. While eating a diet rich in fruits and vegetables would correlate with better overall health, often a significant factor in sperm health, organic produce seems like it’s the way to go. That’s because pesticides may be a significant factor in lowered sperm counts, according to a 2015 study Durell mentioned.

Another surprising possible factor? How tight your underwear is — specifically, whether they are hugging your testicles to your pelvis. This is because, Durell points out, “the body’s average 98.6 degree internal temperature is not an optimal environment for sperm, hence why male testicles are outside of the body.” There’s even been a study done to this effect.

Of course, your lifestyle may not be the only one impacting your sperm count — your mother’s may have, as well, according to Loy.

“Maternal exposure to endocrine disruptors, such as phthalates, or tobacco products during critical windows of male reproductive development may play a role,” he notes, while adding that alcohol and tobacco consumption as an adult can negatively impact your sperm count.

“All in all,” Durell says, “it can’t be concluded that there is one reason but there are many factors that may play important roles in present-day lower sperm counts.”

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What Does This Mean for You?

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…If You’re an Average Guy

So what does this mean for you? If you’re not actively trying to conceive, maybe not much.

As Durell noted, some guys might be open to the idea of having a lower sperm count, as it means they’re less likely to cause an accidental pregnancy.

But if you’re young and the possibility of having children in the future is something you’re either open to or interested in, it’s not a bad idea to keep this stuff in mind.

“The everyday average dude, providing he cares about his fertility, conceiving with a partner and his personal testosterone levels, gets to be more conscious, proactive and intentional with the environment he creates internally and externally,” Durell says.

There’s also a broader context to consider. After all, no one goes through a public health crisis alone.

“This is a humanity-based topic that needs to be dealt with one man at a time,” he adds. “As a men’s intimacy and emotional health coach, I see this impacting every man, whether his individual sperm counts are low or not.”

“If it’s not you, it may be impacting your best friend, your brother, your co-worker,” Durell points out. “In indigenous cultures, not being able to conceive has a profound impact on the social well-being of the couple and community negatively, according to this case study done in a village in Ghana. It’s highly stigmatized.”

Though infertility isn’t much discussed in the West, Durell notes that infertility is somewhat similarly stigmatized here too.

Finally, a lower sperm count may also be a sign of other health issues, even if you’re not interested in becoming a parent, so it could be something to keep an eye on.

“Declining sperm counts may be an indicator of a man’s overall hormonal health,” says Dr. Robles. “Studies suggest that men with low sperm counts are more likely to have metabolic abnormalities such as obesity, diabetes and high blood pressure.”

…If You’re Trying to Conceive

If you’re actively trying to conceive, or are preparing to, it’s a bit of a different story, as the downward trend in global sperm counts may be affecting you personally in very real ways in the present or immediate future.

“Low sperm counts may negatively impact the chances of conceiving a child naturally,” Dr. Robles notes. “This is the primary reason why we always check a semen analysis in couples who are having difficulty achieving pregnancy.”

Basically, if you’ve been actively trying to conceive and haven’t been having any luck, unfortunately, it may be the case that a lowered sperm count is a factor.

“Most people assume that infertility is a female issue,” says Loy, but he points out that studies show that “up to 50% of infertility cases are a result of male-factor infertility.”

“Because of this,” Loy says, “if a couple is having trouble conceiving, it’s just as important for the male partner to undergo diagnostic testing to determine the cause of infertility. The data around global sperm count and concentration furthers the need for a fertility evaluation to include male partners.”

For men in this situation, Durell says, “There may be some tough literal and or hypothetical conversations that need to be had.

“Guys who are actively trying to conceive with their partners will have to be all-in with lifestyle adjustments to best position themselves for the best sperm concentration,” he notes. “If not already paying closer attention to their partner’s menstruation cycle to work with the optimal window of fertility for the both of them.”

Despite the numbers, Durell believes this can be “an opportunity for patience, understanding and an overall deeper intimacy in relationships, due to the level of importance of working together towards a common goal.”

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What to Do If You’re Worried About Your Sperm Count

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“If you are concerned about your fertility potential, it is important to seek medical advice from a qualified reproductive and endocrinology expert,” says Dr. Robles.”In most cases, we can perform a comprehensive semen analysis and have the results back within 24 to 48 hours.”

Durell notes you can also purchase self-test kits in order to perform the deed at home, and then mail your sample in for testing.

“A fertility evaluation will give men a clear understanding of their fertility health,” says Dr. Loy. “These are typically done through noninvasive testing,” he notes, including methods like blood tests, urine tests, or even transrectal ultrasounds.

Once you get your results, Durell notes, you’ll be able to understand what your sperm count level is like, which will give you “a better understanding of the action to take.”

“I encourage men who may have a lower sperm count to adopt the mindset that they aren’t broken or lacking,” he says. “It’s an invitation to be more proactive with learning new activities, new foods, supplements and an overall new lifestyle.”

RELATED: 7 Ways to Boost Your Sperm

So what does that look like? A lot of it is basic health stuff — getting good amounts of sleep and exercise, eating healthy, and avoiding things that might negatively impact your sperm count, like alcohol and tobacco, pesticides and certain toxicants, and overly tight underwear.

If you’re in this position, Dr. Loy recommends trying to live “as healthy a lifestyle as possible.”

“A Mediterranean or Asian (Okinawan) diet with less red meat, more high-fiber vegetables, and whole grains would be recommended,” he notes, “as well as at least 30 minutes of moderate to vigorous aerobic exercise daily. There should be limited alcohol (no more than 4 bottles of beer, or 4 six oz. glasses of wine, or 2 two oz. glasses of liquor per week) and no tobacco or other smoke products.”

Those chemicals and other substances to avoid? Loy mentions mercury, lead, and cadmium, as well as pesticides, endocrine-disrupting chemicals such as “Bisphenol A, Phthalates, and polybrominated diethyl ethers,” and air pollution generally.

More broadly, Loy suggests limiting your consumption of deep-water ocean fish, processed foods, eating organic, using glass or stainless steel bottles, not microwaving plastic, and limiting your consumption of canned foods — as well as some unexpected suggestions like not wearing your shoes at home, using roll-on deodorants and colognes instead of sprays, and avoiding “thermal paper cash register receipts.”

Durell, for his part, suggests things like keeping healthy with daily cardio, getting lots of rest, as well as trying herbs such as “ashwagandha, maca root, ginseng, [and] shilajit,” wearing no underwear (or loose-fitting underwear), meditating, and engaging in “healthy competition” in order to stimulate testosterone production.

RELATED: Is Sleeping in Your Underwear Bad for You?

Ultimately, lifestyle is a significant factor in male fertility health, says Dr. Loy. “Evaluating these areas of your lifestyle can help you determine what can be improved in order to achieve optimal fertility health,” he says.

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Does he quickly pull away when you try to hold his hand while walking out of his dorm? Or does she ‘forget’ to call you back all too often? Do you find yourself at the receiving end of one too many phone calls with ‘impromptu’ or ‘spontaneous’ plans – almost like as if you were an afterthought? Or worse, a back-up plan? Oh, and the scariest one – their friends know absolutely nothing about you. If these examples seem all too familiar in your ‘relationship’ (yes, unfortunately those air quotes belong there), then it’s possible that you are in a fling relationship and you don’t even know it. 

As annoying and confusing as it may be, it is in fact all too common to land up in a relationship where the expectations between two people are completely mismatched. With all the great sex and the excitement of this new dalliance, your “What are we?” question seems to get lost in the chaos. 

And so, when the high of the honeymoon stage wears off, the result of that is a horrible confusion. What stings the most is when you actually realize that you were far more invested in this relationship than they were. That when you two were sitting under the stars and searching for constellations, he was actually texting another girl back. That when she said she could only make it to the coffee shop for an hour to see you, it’s because she had to leave quickly to go and see her ex. 

Are You In A Fling Relationship? Here Are 10 Signs 

There’s nothing wrong with the concept of fling dating as long as there’s an understanding between both people involved. In fact, sometimes when people have just gotten out of a long and serious relationship, they choose to try a fling relationship for a change of pace and to take their mind off things. 

As convenient as that may sound, having a fling can have disastrous consequences too if you realize all too late that the two of you were never on the same page and were actually fling dating. As much as one wants to run from the conversation of commitment, boundaries and expectations – it is absolutely essential and even more so, when you are in a fling relationship. 

So if you think your partner has been dilly-dallying in their behavior or you keep sensing there’s something off, it’s probably because they were just having a fling all along. But you never picked up on it before because you were just too smitten. To avoid this from happening to you, here are 10 signs of a fling relationship that you can use to judge your own. 

Related Reading: Casual Sex Is Great As Long As You Treat it Casually

1. They push and pull you 

Now it may or may not be as serious as the problems of a push-pull relationship, but in a casual fling your partner will sometimes be too hot and sometimes way too cold. This inconsistency in their interactions with you comes from a deep confusion within them with regards to their own feelings about you. 

On the one hand, they probably love your company. But on the other hand, they are too scared of falling in love or crossing the line of the fling relationship over to the other side. Is it a relationship or a fling? They are probably too confused to answer this question themselves. But this still leaves you in limbo. Suffice to say that the answer to your question, “Is it just a fling?”, is still a hard “Yes”.  

2. The sex is great, but in a casual fling it often just ends there 

If you’re having great sex in this relationship that is intimate, raw and real – there is still a good chance that you are in a fling relationship. As amazing as the physical chemistry might be, think about what the two of you do after it. Does he often just zip up and walk off? Or does she just quickly hop off and then glom on to her phone the moment that the deed is done?

If one really wants it to be, sex can be a massive experience in bringing two people closer together over and over again. But if you feel like there’s a lack of emotionality in your sex life or even a sweet round of post-sex cuddling in your relationship, then you may just be involved in a casual fling. 

3. You are not on their social media 

Billy Kitzhaber had been going out with Nora Stein for a couple months. The two never really had a conversation about exclusivity but since things were going so well, Billy assumed that they were. This is until he asked Nora why she never posted a picture with him even though she has photos with her exes on her Instagram page. Nora said, “We’re just having a fling Billy, you’re not my real boyfriend yet.”

Now we don’t mean that you need to start doubting your partner, because they’ve never posted about you – some people just don’t use social media in a generic way – but something like this does raise a question along the lines of, “Is it just a fling?”

4. They never discuss the future with you in a fling relationship

Are they happy to discuss what you two are doing tomorrow night? Absolutely. It doesn’t take them long to decide whose house you’re hanging out in after work tomorrow. But when it comes to discussing your relationship in the next year or even as soon as six months down the line – they seem to freeze and lose their ground completely. 

This is not because they don’t like you. It’s only because they are not seeing you as seriously as you may be seeing them. Which is why, considering a future with you in it, is something that barely passed their mind. In this casual fling, all that matters is the fun and excitement of seeing you the next day.

Related Reading: Dating For Marriage? 15 Important Things You Should Be Prepared For

5. You’ve never really met their friends or family 

Carla Wescott had been seeing Jason Breibeck for a while. She had never met his friends or family, but since she wanted to take things slow, she never pressed Jason about the same. That is until she ran into Jason and his college buddies at a bar near her house. That’s when she learned that Jason’s friends didn’t even have any idea who she was! 

Is this a relationship or a fling? Time to seriously ask yourself this question. If they run at the thought of introducing you to the other people in their life, it’s clearly because they don’t see themselves that close to you. Out of all the types of relationships, it’s only a fun and casual one from their side.

6. When fling dating, there’s not a lot of PDA 

Not that public displays of affection are a yardstick to judge the success of a serious relationship, but when two people are actually in love, it definitely shows. And sometimes in the form of indulging in PDA. Forehead kisses, hand holding, random hugs, arms around each other’s waists – you name it. So if you’re wondering whether your relationship is just a fling or something more, think about how often you two are close in public. 

Do you rarely ever meet up in public? Is it just easier to hang out at the other person’s house? Because these are some signs of a fling relationship that you may have completely overlooked. They don’t admire you in public simply because it does not come naturally to them. 

7. You have been making all the plans and check-ins 

From deciding where you two head to dinner to being the one that checks up on them when they are sick, think about whether they have ever done any of those things for you. That is reason enough to rethink whether your relationship is just a fling or something more. To show someone you care, staying in touch with them regularly, are just some of the very basic things one does in a real relationship. 

But if that is uncommon in yours, you have all the right reasons to raise your, “Is it just a fling?” question. If your partner had been as invested as you, then you wouldn’t be the one double texting them all the time only for them to respond to you seven hours later. 

8. They never prioritize you 

When you’re having a fling, the person you are in a fling relationship with is essential to you, but not really important. And this reveals itself in a lot of ways like when a guy cancels a date because of another commitment. Perhaps they were supposed to meet you for brunch but an ‘emergency’ came up and they had to cancel. Or any other reasons they keep coming up with to blow you off again and again. 

A work emergency, taking their dog out, babysitting their cousin or anything else under the sun. It seems like everything else in their life matters more than you do. This is not a feeling that you can just sit on while you let it happen to you. This is clearly a fling relationship and nothing more. So it’s time you adjust your lens similarly. 

9. In a fling relationship they hardly make an effort to get to know you 

Knowing that you like to dim the lights when having sex does not count. What we mean is that they hardly make an effort in getting to know a deeper side of you. Your past relationships, experiences or stories, are of no real value to them. Their goal is to have fun with you and as long as they get to do that, then other things don’t matter. So think again – is this just a fling or something more?

When Sylvia would go on dates with Cole, they’d order a couple rounds of drinks and engage in a fun conversation. But Cole never seemed to scratch beneath the surface and ask Sylvia a real question. And a couple weeks into dating, Sylvia realized that Cole did not even know the name of her dog. Now to a dog lover, that is straight up rude and a rather telling sign of disinterest.

Related Reading: How Long Does A Crush Last And 11 Ways To Get Over It

10. They seem to mention other people in their life when fling dating 

If things like, “My coworker Jody…”, or “My ex Nerissa…”, are often peppered into their conversations with you, are you sure you are the only person in their life? Because you need to seriously think hard  about whether this is a relationship or a fling. If they casually mention their exes or any other encounters that could possibly be dates, then it’s time to assess whether you are in a fling relationship or not. 

Fling dating means that they probably are seeing multiple people. So keep an eye out for cues that help you confirm the same. Is he getting frequent texts from another different girl? Or is she constantly talking about the new guy that’s moved in next door? 

It’s natural to mistake a growing attachment to someone as a serious relationship only to realize that there’s not much future there. So don’t blame yourself or feel disheartened if this has happened with you and you’ve stumbled into a fling relationship. Just make sure that the next time, you can better decide for yourself how you want to take things.

FAQs

Freedom In Relationships – What It Means And What It Doesn’t

The 8 Types Of Love And What They Mean For You

A new survey reveals that women are more likely to have casual sex than a man.

Sometimes dating as an adult can seem like everyone wants to plan a date around alcohol. However, plenty of dates without alcohol are fun and unique! Next time you ask a woman out on a date, try one of these 15 creative ideas for alcohol-free dates.

1. Plan a “food crawl” together

Perhaps you have heard of or attended a bar crawl before when groups of people get together and try to swing by every participating bar on the designated list for a drink. When you’re looking to remove alcohol from the equation, a “food crawl” sounds even better. Make finding the best pizza, wings, tacos, or any food your heart desires your mission for the evening. Create a list of contenders and try the food item you select at each restaurant, rating them on categories such as presentation, taste, and creativity before moving to the next restaurant on your list. At the end of the evening, compare the results and determine the winner!

2. Go bowling

Head to your local bowling alley with your date for a competitive game while the two of you enjoy pitchers of soda, nachos, french fries, hot dogs, and pizza. Bowling alley junk food is unmatched, and the excitement of friendly competition and arcade games bring a nostalgic feel other date spots can’t contend with.

3. Try mini golf

Similar to bowling, mini golf has a fun, juvenile nostalgic feel. Challenge each other to a round of 18 holes. The loser treats the other to ice cream! Many mini golf locations also have other types of activities like go-karts, bumper cars, and arcade games, which is a great way to extend the date if the both of you are enjoying your time together.

4. Share ice cream sundaes

Whenever your sweet tooth craving strikes, go out to enjoy some ice cream together. Splitting an ice cream sundae can be romantic and fun! You can also learn a lot about the other person by discovering more about their favorite flavor and topping preferences.

5. Find a hiking or biking trail

For a more outdoorsy-style date, find a nearby hiking or biking trail to explore together. Pack some snacks and a blanket and have an impromptu picnic at the peak as you enjoy the fresh air and beautiful scenery.

6. Enjoy some coffee together

Turn going out for drinks into going out for coffee together. Coffee shops are cozy, intimate spots to get to know someone and enjoy a non-alcoholic drink. Plus, you can tell a lot about someone from their coffee order! If you’re hungry, most coffee shops offer a wide selection of treats like bagels, breakfast sandwiches, scones, muffins, and more.

7. Go see a movie in a theater

Going to the movies is another fun, nostalgic date idea. Nowadays, many movie theaters are equipped with reclining chairs and food service to your seat to make the experience more luxurious. Don’t forget bottomless popcorn and drink refills!

8. Take a class together

Learning or trying something new with your date is a great bonding experience. Sign up to take a class such as yoga, tennis, volleyball, painting, cooking, pottery, or more. The options are endless!

9. Explore the zoo or aquarium

Who doesn’t love visiting a zoo or aquarium? If you or your date are animal lovers, zoos and aquariums are fun and relaxing ways to learn more about your favorite species, and each other. For a kind gesture, you can buy a stuffed version of her favorite animal in the gift shop once you leave.

10. Attend a live concert

Live music is the best way to listen to music the way it should be. Even if your favorite artist or band isn’t in town, many smaller venues have up-and-coming artists play sets most nights, so the two of you can discover a new favorite together!

11. Go see a comedy show

A good sense of humor is an important attribute in a partner, so going to see a comedy or improv show is the quickest way to gauge your compatibility with a date! Laughing together builds a connection, and you will likely bond over your shared sense of humor.

12. Cozy up with stargazing

Bring a blanket out under the stars or drive through the countryside to go stargazing. The cool, crisp air will have her cuddling up next to you as the two of you take in the beautiful night sky and pick out the constellations.

13. Attend a sporting event

The atmosphere of sporting events tends to be fun and casual, and cheering on your hometown team alongside a date makes the experience even better. Grab a burger and a soda and take in an exciting game with other cheering fans.

14. Go ice skating

Ice skating is the perfect romantic outing, plus it provides an opportunity to hold hands with your date. Grab her hand and skate around your local indoor ice skating rink as you talk and get to know each other. In the wintertime, you may be able to find an outdoor ice rink. Make sure to sip on some hot chocolate after you’re done to warm up! Bring a blanket and offer to wrap her up with it to warm her up anymore. She will certainly appreciate your thoughtfulness!

15. Go to a hibachi or other interactive dinner

Interactive dining experiences are unique culinary excursions that provide entertainment and the opportunity to try and enjoy new cuisine. Hibachi dinners are known for their interactivity and talented chefs that provide dinner and a show for patrons. If you’re looking for a different kind of dinner date, try a local hibachi restaurant next time you go!

Conclusion to fun ideas for dates without alcohol

Dating as an adult does not have to involve alcohol, and the good news is that there are plenty of ways to have fun without having a drink. Next time you plan a date with someone, suggest one of the above ideas!

If you’re an introvert looking for a helpful and intuitive dating coach for men, Introverted Alpha has everything you could hope for and more. We have helped thousands of men attract women naturally. Bring out your best self with a genuine, custom approach created especially for introverted men. Click here to find out more!

A breakup can feel like the end of the world. No amount of Ben & Jerry’s can fill the human-sized hole left in your heart, especially when it is accompanied by signs your ex will never come back to you. Even after the messiest breakup, you grab onto the tiniest sense of hope that you and your ex might rekindle the romance. However, it is time you stopped making excuses to avoid the harsh truth and remove your rose-tinted glasses because he certainly has. 

Being oblivious to signs you will never get back together will do you more harm than good. Of course, the fantasy seems sweeter than the reality but living with false hopes has never helped anyone. In this article, we have identified 20 sure shot signs which basically scream that your ex is gone forever. If you can relate to them, you know you have to put in some serious efforts in moving on. 

Here Are The 20 Signs Your Ex Will Never Come Back

It is very natural to hold hope of rekindling the flames, after your relationship ends. That being said, holding on to this hope makes sense only when you know for sure that your ex partner is on the same page. You need to understand the dynamic you share and sometimes just read the room. If there are clear signs you will never hear from your ex again, the sooner you acknowledge them, the better.

Let’s face it, guys are hardly inconspicuous, so once you open your eyes, it’ll be blatantly obvious that your ex is moving forward. It’s always a sticky situation when exes are involved, but it is even stickier when your love is unrequited. You never know if you’re being positive, clingy, hopeful, or a little pathetic.

Related Reading: First Breakup – 11 Ways To Deal With It

More often than not, if your ex is interested, a mere “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you” would be enough to make him ride your proverbial coattails. Although it has been confirmed by my best friend, who has a penchant for frolicking with a new girl every week, that when a man has moved on he always shows clear signs. Here are 20 such signs that scream your ex is indifferent:

1. Your relationship ended on a bad note

No one likes to relive sour memories. It is human tendency to attach a basic negative connotation to a messy breakup. The incompatibility or an unfortunate situation must have driven him away. It would be a bit much to expect them to return post a terrible fight. Hence if you guys broke up on a bitter note, there is a chance your ex is gone forever.

For instance, my college friends, Garry and Andrea, had a falling out regarding their college decisions after 6 months of being together. They both ended up saying things that were better left unsaid. So, it’s likely Garry wouldn’t pour salt over his wounds by returning to Andrea.

2. They avoid your texts or calls

In this day and age, when everyone is hooked to their phones, it becomes glaringly obvious when someone is ignoring you or avoiding you. When your ex never contacts you again, it’s a strong sign that they want a fresh start. They won’t avoid your phone calls or texts if they’re looking to clear the air with you or considering getting back together.

3. They don’t look you in the eye

Eye contact is crucial; you can seldom have a serious conversation unless you’re face-to-face with the other person, looking them in the eye. If they avoid meeting your eyes, it might suggest that your ex is indifferent or they have started dating someone new. Eye contact can be very intimate and endearing. You gradually start to understand what your partner is thinking internally. If your ex is avoiding eye contact, it’s one of the signs you will never get back together.

4. They are already in a committed relationship

If they are already in a serious relationship with someone else, it’s an obvious sign your ex is never coming back. It would be unfair for you to hold such unrealistic expectations. Not to mention, you might hate yourself if you cost another person their new relationship. 

It genuinely isn’t worth it to expect them to come back if they’ve started dating someone else. You might decide to wait, but it’ll only cause you pain you needn’t endure. It’s much wiser to accept you guys are not meant to be and try to focus on new people.

5. They have returned all your gifts/belongings

When you still have strong feelings for someone who is no longer in your life, you cling to the memories you shared. You keep their belongings, listen to tunes that remind you of them, they’re basically imprinted in your existence. 

But if your ex has returned all the stuff, they are trying to cut the cord of attachment. And this is one of the top signs you will never hear from your ex again. Evidently, they want to get rid of anything that acts a reminder of passionate love and is ready to start a new chapter in your life, as should you.

6. They’ve cut off contact with your mutual friends

Naturally, you and your ex would have mutual contacts that you used to hang out with. But if your ex has unfollowed the social media accounts of your mutual friends as well, it goes to show that your ex is never coming back. They just want to forget your existence altogether. They definitely want to be left alone to focus on new opportunities.

Related Reading: Can We Be Friends With Our Exes?

7. They aren’t envious of your romantic relationships

If your ex is considering getting back together, they would be fastidious about your relationships. Not necessarily saying they would turn into the next Joe Goldberg, but even rebound relationships will unsettle them. 

But if your ex shows a keen disinterest when it comes to your romantic engagements, it is one of the signs your ex is never coming back. It’s pretty clear they are enjoying life and couldn’t care less about your new lover.

8. They hardly make an effort

Will he come back? The answer is “No” if he hardly puts any effort to even send text messages. They don’t want to meet you or even talk to you over the phone. In the complex and fairly daunting arena of modern dating, it can be difficult to determine if he is playing ‘hard to get’ or if he is plainly uninterested. Once you conclude that they might be uninterested, it could be extremely painful and difficult to deal with, especially if you haven’t fully recovered from the breakup.

Understandably, it can be difficult to picture your life without someone who was once such an integral part of it. Changes in your status quo can be tricky to adapt to. But in the long run, it is better to stop waiting, spend time with yourself and focus on your own happiness.

9. They ask you to move on

It is honestly the cruelest form of torture to walk away from someone when you don’t want to. It’s even more arduous if your beloved told you to move on. But in the words of poet Charles Bukowski, “What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” 

If you ex partner wishes that you move on, you don’t need any further explanation. They are not looking to revive any romantic relationships with you. The best you can do in a situation like this is to love yourself and slowly but steadily move on to a new city and a better person.

10. They have blocked you on social media

These days, when someone blocks you on social media media accounts, it is essentially set in stone that they don’t want to think about your existence. They have chosen to let go of that part of their life. While it is seemingly heartbreaking, it’s not a bad thing after all. Maybe, the emotional baggage of your toxic relationship is beyond repair.

Related Reading: Signs Your Partner Is About To Break Up With You

Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp govern all interpersonal communication in a big way. If he has blocked you everywhere, it is one of the signs your ex will never come back. It is strenuous to shift from the once idyllic world of sharing memes with each other and sending hearts on WhatsApp, but I strongly suggest that you do not lament over the past and see this as an opportunity to move on.

11. He says those much-dreaded 5 words – I don’t love you anymore

All couples have different love languages, but small verbal affirmations are a constant in almost all relationships. You look forward to hearing those lovely 3 words that make your heart soar. But after the relationship has ended and your ex says, “I don’t love you anymore”, it directly targets your insecurities. 

The feeling of rejection is almost overwhelming. When he says those words, it’s a sign he will never come back. Initially, it might be a bitter pill to swallow but things will start to look up soon enough. Rather than clinging to the same individual, you should accept reality. Give yourself some time and fill it with things so you may forget about him and go on with your life.

12. If he’s sleeping around, it’s a sign he will never come back 

One of the signs he will never come back is when he starts to have other physical entanglements. If your ex starts sleeping with other people, it’s one of the clearest signs that he doesn’t want you back. This is most likely an indicator that he is ready to move on from you and your relationship. 

If your ex is sleeping with other people, don’t get your hopes up that he’ll return. People who have been in a significant long-term relationship may sleep with other people for a variety of reasons. For example, enjoy experimenting with their newfound independence and with different types of people. Or as a coping mechanism to get over the pain of a breakup.

However, sometimes the simplest explanation can be the correct one – he is over you and has no intentions of starting things up again. Instead, he is exploring his options in a bid to move on. 

13. The breakup doesn’t seem to affect him

It can be cathartic to have a messy breakup after a good relationship. While it might sound a little unconventional, a fight where both of you are emotional and upset about the relationship ending is much better than a passive-aggressive “You’re a nice girl, I hope you find someone better”. But if your ex seems unfazed by the breakup, it’s a sign that he isn’t going to look back and regret having ended things with you. Perhaps, he wasn’t that involved in the relationship in the first place. It is also time you realize that you need to stop loving someone who does not love you.

Your self-confidence might take a hit, you might feel very lonely, but know that down the line you will pick yourself up. I feel as if this quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald might resonate with you, “For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.”

14. Flirting doesn’t seem to do the trick anymore

This one is pretty self-explanatory. When your ex doesn’t flirt back with you and is not interested in your romantic advances, it’s one of the signs that he will never come back. Usually, when someone is still interested in you, they look for opportunities to compliment you, make sexual innuendos and sweet gestures. If all these are lacking from your conversation, chances are he has already moved on.

15. Vague and dismissive responses show he is not coming back 

After the relationship has ended, it is natural for your texts to become a tad bit awkward. You’re both walking on eggshells and uncertain of how to converse with each other. But if your ex is straight-up dismissive and shows no interest in engaging in a conversation, he’s pretty much asking you to stop texting him. 

No, he is not playing ‘hard to get’, he is not ‘pining for attention’, he simply wants to be left alone. Of course, it’s not a very pleasant feeling, especially after a long-term relationship. There is hardly anything you can do in a situation like this apart from leaving him alone and focusing on your life and the path ahead.

16. “I think we’re better off as friends”

When your ex asks you to stay friends after the breakup, he’s usually implying that he doesn’t see you reuniting. It is one of the most direct signs that he will never come back. It could be difficult to be friendzoned by him, especially if you had hoped to address and resolve your problems. 

But it is what it is. You need to get over the breakup. You also need to assess your options and stay away from him if your mental health is in jeopardy. For your own sake, tell him it would be preferable if you could fully cut cords. Prioritize yourself and love yourself through this testing situation.

17. It’s been a while since you guys called it quits

How long have you been apart from your ex-partner? The longer you are separated, the less likely you are to rekindle those long-lost feelings. You are unlikely to contact each other if it has been a long time since you last spoke or saw each other. 

Furthermore, if he appears to have gone on with his life without contacting you, this is one of the tell-tale signs he will never come back. If he meant to return, he’d have tried to contact you every now and then to see how you were doing. Or just generally tried to spike a conversation, hoping it advances to a romantic level. 

Related Reading: How Do Indian Men Overcome Breakups?

18. If your relationship ended due to infidelity, he is not coming back

This particular point is pretty self-explanatory. If either one of you were unfaithful, there is a slim chance of your relationship reigniting. It is pretty obvious when I say that no one would want to return to a deceitful and disloyal partner. Why put yourself through the same hurt again? 

If you were cheated on, then you should know you can do much better than your treacherous ex-partner. And if you were the one who cheated, then maybe you need to take a step back and assess if you ever loved your partner in the first place. If you cheated on your partner, you need to accept that he is not coming back.

19. You’re not a topic of conversation

Have you contacted your mutual pals since splitting up with your ex? Did they inform you that he keeps referencing you, asking how you’ve been doing? One of the signs he will never come back to you is if he never mentions you to other people. He doesn’t want to be reminded of you in any way. 

To that end, he no longer talks about you the way he did in the past. Those halcyon days of your relationship where he could not stop gushing over you are now over. And maybe you should consider moving on as well. In the words of C.S. Lewis, “There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

20. He isn’t a supporting figure in your life anymore

There is nothing more validating to men than when you make them feel needed and important. James Bauer, a relationship expert, coined the term hero instinct, which means that men have a psychological need to feel needed by their partners. This is one of the factors that make a man fall in love with a woman. 

If you split up with your man and he is no longer there for you, it is one of the signs he will never come back anymore. Small things like not checking in can indicate that he is no longer interested or available as a support system to you.

We have reached the end of this bittersweet guide of how to notice the signs he will never come back. I hope your nerves are settled and all your questions have been answered. I’m one of the biggest supporters of optimism and hope. There is nothing wrong with wanting to clear the air with your ex. 

But I also urge you to draw a line when it starts affecting your mental health. Your life is never dictated by the presence of a particular man and I hope you understand your worth soon. If you are in a conundrum, struggling to move on from your relationship, Bonobology has a team of therapists who can guide you through this phase of life.

FAQs

How To Know When A Relationship Is Over? 25 Signs That Indicate So

10 Signs She Is Not Over Her Ex Yet

5 Reasons Why Space In A Relationship Is Not An Ominous Sign

A breakup can feel like the end of the world. No amount of Ben & Jerry’s can fill the human-sized hole left in your heart, especially when it is accompanied by signs your ex will never come back to you. Even after the messiest breakup, you grab onto the tiniest sense of hope that you and your ex might rekindle the romance. However, it is time you stopped making excuses to avoid the harsh truth and remove your rose-tinted glasses because your ex certainly has. 

Being oblivious to signs you will never get back together will do you more harm than good. Of course, the fantasy seems sweeter than the reality but living with false hopes has never helped anyone. In this article, we have identified 20 sure shot signs which basically scream that your ex is gone forever. If you can relate to them, you know you have to put in some serious efforts in moving on. 

Here Are The 20 Signs Your Ex Will Never Come Back

It is very natural to hold hope of rekindling the flames, after your relationship ends. Holding on to this hope makes sense only when you know for sure that your ex partner is on the same page. Or is it unrequited love? If there are clear signs you will never hear from your ex again, the sooner you acknowledge them, the better.

Let’s face it, guys are hardly inconspicuous, so once you open your eyes, it’ll be blatantly obvious that your ex is moving forward. It’s always a sticky situation when exes are involved, but it is even stickier when your love is unrequited. You never know if you’re being positive, clingy, hopeful, or a little pathetic.

Related Reading: First Breakup – 11 Ways To Deal With It

More often than not, if your ex is interested, a mere “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you” would be enough to make him ride your proverbial coattails. Although it has been confirmed by my best friend, who has a penchant for frolicking with a new girl every week, that when a man has moved on he always shows clear signs. Here are 20 such signs that scream your ex is indifferent:

1. Your relationship ended on a bad note

No one likes to relive sour memories. It is human tendency to attach a basic negative connotation to a messy breakup. The signs of incompatibility must have driven him away. It would be a bit much to expect them to return post a terrible fight. Hence if you guys broke up on a bitter note, there is a chance your ex is gone forever.

For instance, my college friends, Garry and Andrea, had a falling out regarding their college decisions after 6 months of being together. They both ended up saying things that were better left unsaid. So, it’s likely Garry wouldn’t pour salt over his wounds by returning to Andrea.

2. They avoid your texts or calls

In this day and age, when everyone is hooked to their phones, it becomes glaringly obvious when he’s ignoring you for someone else. When your ex never contacts you again, it’s a strong sign that they want a fresh start. They won’t avoid your phone calls or texts if they’re looking to clear the air with you or considering getting back together.

3. They don’t look you in the eye

Eye contact is crucial; you can seldom have a serious conversation unless you’re face-to-face with the other person, looking them in the eye. If they avoid meeting your eyes, it might suggest that your ex is indifferent or they have started dating someone new. Eye contact attraction can be very intimate and endearing. You gradually start to understand what your partner is thinking internally. If your ex is avoiding eye contact, it’s one of the signs you will never get back together.

4. They are already in a committed relationship

If they are already in a serious relationship, it’s an obvious sign your ex is never coming back. You might hate yourself if you cost another person their new relationship. So, don’t expect your ex to come back if they’ve started dating someone else. It’s much wiser to accept you guys are not meant to be and try to focus on new people. It’s better to let go of an ex who has moved on for good.

5. They have returned all your gifts/belongings

When you still have strong feelings for someone who is no longer in your life, you cling to the memories you shared. You keep their belongings, listen to tunes that remind you of them, they’re basically imprinted in your existence. 

But if your ex has returned all the stuff, they are trying to cut the cord of attachment. And this is one of the top signs you will never hear from your ex again. Evidently, they want to get rid of anything that acts a reminder of passionate love and is ready to start a new chapter in your life, as should you.

6. They’ve cut off contact with your mutual friends

Naturally, you and your ex would have mutual contacts that you used to hang out with. But if your ex has unfollowed the social media accounts of your mutual friends as well, it goes to show that your ex is never coming back. They just want to forget your existence altogether. They definitely want to be left alone to focus on new opportunities.

Related Reading: Can We Be Friends With Our Exes?

7. They aren’t envious of your romantic relationships

If your ex is considering getting back together, they would be fastidious about your relationships. Not necessarily saying they would turn into the next Joe Goldberg, but even rebound relationships will unsettle them. 

But if your ex shows a keen disinterest when it comes to your romantic engagements, it is one of the signs your ex is never coming back. It’s pretty clear they are enjoying life and couldn’t care less about your new lover.

8. They hardly make an effort

Will he come back? The answer is “No” if he hardly puts any effort to even send text messages. Similarly, it can be difficult to determine if she is playing ‘hard to get’ or if she is plainly uninterested. Once you conclude that they might be uninterested, it is better to stop waiting, spend time with yourself and focus on your own happiness.

9. They ask you to move on

It is honestly the cruelest form of torture to walk away from a relationship when you don’t want to. It’s even more arduous if your beloved told you to move on. But in the words of poet Charles Bukowski, “What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” 

If you ex partner wishes that you move on, you don’t need any further explanation. They are not looking to revive any romantic relationships with you. The best you can do in a situation like this is to love yourself and slowly but steadily move on to a new city and a better person.

10. They have blocked you on social media

These days, when someone blocks you on social media media accounts, it is essentially set in stone that they don’t want to think about your existence. They have chosen to let go of that part of their life. While it is seemingly heartbreaking, it’s not a bad thing after all. Maybe, the emotional baggage of your toxic relationship is beyond repair.

Research has found that 71% of people don’t get back together with their exes, only 15% of those who get back together, stay together, and around 14% get back together but break up again. So, before you act on your desire to rekindle a romance with an ex, know that the odds are stacked against you. 

Related Reading: Signs Your Partner Is About To Break Up With You

11. They tell you they don’t love you anymore

The feeling of rejection is almost overwhelming. How to know when your ex is truly done with you? They tell you they have fallen out of love with you. Initially, it might be a bitter pill to swallow but things will start to look up soon enough. Exes eventually fade away but that’s how space gets created for a new partner.

12. Sleeping around is a sign your ex is never coming back

When your ex never contacts you again and instead starts sleeping with other people, it’s one of the sure signs your ex will never come back. This is most likely an indicator they are moving on from a toxic relationship. They are either enjoying experimenting with their newfound independence or it’s their coping mechanism to get over the pain of a breakup. They have no intentions of getting back together.

13. The breakup doesn’t seem to affect them

If they seem unfazed by the breakup, it’s a sign your ex is never coming back. Perhaps, they weren’t that involved in the relationship in the first place. It is also time you realize that you need to stop loving someone who does not love you.

Your self-confidence might take a hit, you might feel very lonely, but down the line, you will pick yourself up from these negative emotions. I feel as if this quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald might resonate with you, “For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.”

14. Flirting doesn’t seem to do the trick anymore

When they don’t flirt back with you/are not interested in your romantic advances, it’s one of the signs your ex will never come back. Usually, when someone is still interested in you, they look for opportunities to compliment you, make sexual innuendos and sweet gestures. If all these are lacking from your conversation, chances are they are looking at the bright side of the breakup.

15. Vague and dismissive responses

Will he come back? No, if he is straight-up dismissive, speaks badly or shows no interest in engaging in a conversation. Your ex is not playing ‘hard to get’/ ‘pining for attention’, they simply want to be left alone. Of course, it’s not a very pleasant feeling, especially after a long-term relationship.

16. “I think we’re better off as friends”

When they ask you to stay ‘good friends’ after the breakup, it is one of the most direct signs your ex is never coming back. It could be difficult to be friend zoned by them. But it is what it is. You need to get over the breakup. You also need to assess your options and stay away from them if your mental health is in jeopardy. For the benefit of your own life, tell them it would be preferable if you could fully cut cords.

Research points out that staying friends with exes out of suppressed feelings for them led to negative outcomes, whereas staying friends due to security and practical reasons led to more positive outcomes. So, the question of the hour is…Have you agreed to stay friends with your ex out of suppressed feelings for them or because you want to be civil and don’t want them to hold grudges against you?

17. It’s been a while since you guys called it quits

How long have you been apart from your ex-partner? The longer you are separated, the less likely you are to rekindle those long-lost feelings. You are unlikely to contact each other if it has been a long time since you last spoke or saw each other. 

Related Reading: 7 Reasons You Lose Feelings For Someone Fast

If your ex never reached out, it means they have completely revamped their life. If they meant to return, they would have tried to contact you every now and then to see how you were doing. Or just generally tried to spike a conversation, hoping it advances to a romantic level. 

18. Your relationship ended due to infidelity

If either one of you were unfaithful, there is a slim chance of your relationship reigniting. If you were cheated on, then you should know you can do much better than dating a red flag. And if you were the one who cheated, then maybe you need to take a step back and assess if you ever loved your partner in the first place.

Research suggests that re-trusting a partner who has caused you emotional trauma – be it through infidelity, lying, dishonesty, or manipulation – requires openness, the intention to cooperate, sharing, and mutual support between partners. If your ex is showing zero intention to fix things, it’s better to walk away.

19. You’re not a topic of conversation

Have you contacted your mutual pals since splitting up with your ex? Does your ex keep referencing you, asking how you’ve been doing? One of the signs your ex will never come back is if they never mention you to other people. You’re the only person who’s waiting around. Let them go. In the words of C.S. Lewis, “There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

Research shows that cyclical partners (couples who broke up and got back together multiple times) report lower relational quality—less love, need satisfaction, and sexual satisfaction. So, if you want a healthy relationship in your life, reuniting with your ex will take you far away from that goal. Dating someone new would be more advisable.

20. They aren’t the supporting figure in your life anymore

There is nothing more validating than being a ‘relationship hero’. James Bauer, a relationship expert, coined the term ‘hero instinct’, which means that men have a psychological need to feel needed by their partners. This is one of the factors that make a man fall in love with a woman. 

How to know when your ex is truly done with you? They are no longer there for you, as your support system. Small things like not checking in can indicate that you are not a big part of their life anymore. It’s not a bad thing after all. You can be your own hero.

We have reached the end of this bittersweet guide of how to notice the signs your ex will never come back. I hope your nerves are settled and all your questions have been answered. I’m one of the biggest supporters of optimism and hope. There is nothing wrong with wanting to clear the air with your ex. 

But I also urge you to draw a line when it starts affecting your mental health. Your life is never dictated by the presence of a particular person and I hope you understand your worth soon. If you feel lost and are low-key obsessed with your ex’s life, Bonobology has a panel of experienced counselors who can guide you through this phase of life.

FAQs

How To Know When A Relationship Is Over? 25 Signs That Indicate So

10 Signs She Is Not Over Her Ex Yet

5 Reasons Why Space In A Relationship Is Not An Ominous Sign

David Goggins is a retired Navy SEAL, ultra-endurance athlete, and author of the bestselling book, “Can’t Hurt Me.” Goggins has a unique approach to life that involves pushing his limits, embracing discomfort, and developing mental toughness.

In this blog, we’ll explore how David Goggins’ mindset can teach you valuable dating lessons and ultimately help you find success in your dating life.

If you enjoy this article and find it valuable, then my team and I can help you get more dating success by investing in one of our courses. For more information, download our Social Attraction Training Course PDF Brochure.

Embrace Discomfort

Goggins firmly believes that facing and embracing discomfort is a powerful way to grow and improve. In dating, you might shy away from the awkward moments, like approaching someone you find attractive or initiating a difficult conversation.

However, stepping outside of your comfort zone can lead to personal growth and increased self-esteem.

• Action Step: Challenge yourself to approach someone new, ask for a phone number, or initiate a difficult conversation. Embrace the discomfort and use it as an opportunity to grow.

Develop Mental Toughness

Goggins’ ability to push through physical and mental barriers has made him one of the most successful endurance athletes in the world.

Developing mental toughness in dating means not giving up when you face rejection or setbacks, and instead, learning from these experiences to become a better version of yourself.

• Action Step: When faced with a setback or rejection, take a moment to reflect on the experience and identify what you can learn from it. Use this knowledge to improve your future interactions.

Set and Pursue Goals

Goggins sets high goals for himself and relentlessly pursues them. In dating, having a clear goal can help you stay focused and motivated.

Whether your goal is to find a long-term partner, improve your communication skills, or simply become more comfortable meeting new people, having a clear vision can make a significant difference.

• Action Step: Set specific and measurable goals for your dating life, and create an action plan to achieve them. Track your progress and celebrate your successes along the way.

Practice Self-discipline

David Goggins is well-known for his incredible self-discipline, which allows him to consistently push his limits.

In dating, self-discipline can manifest in various ways, such as sticking to your dating goals, keeping your commitments, or maintaining healthy boundaries.

Conclusion

Embracing David Goggins’ mindset in your dating life can lead to personal growth, increased self-esteem, and ultimately, a more fulfilling love life.

By facing discomfort, developing mental toughness, setting and pursuing goals, and practicing self-discipline, you can become a more successful and resilient dater.

If you enjoy this article and find it valuable, then my team and I can help you get more dating success by investing in one of our courses. For more information, download our Social Attraction Training Course PDF Brochure.

References

1. Belsky, J., & Pluess, M. (2013). Beyond risk, resilience, and dysregulation: Phenotypic plasticity and human development. Development and Psychopathology, 25(4 Pt 2), 1243-1261.
2. Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A Pilot Study and Randomized Controlled Trial of the Mindful Self-Compassion Program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44.
3. Aron, A., Norman, C. C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples’ Shared Participation in Novel and Arousing Activities and Experienced Relationship Quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 273-284.

Useful Links:
• https://relationshipschool.com/relationshipmastery/
• https://relationshipschool.com/rct/
• https://relationshipschool.com/community/
• https://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow
• https://www.gettingtozerobook.com

Useful Links:

• Read the transcript for this episode here
• Loneliness, Social Isolation And Living Alone – Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad – 301
• Masterclass Library
• Order Jayson’s book: Getting to Zero

Gifts for Pregnant Women That They Will Love

So someone you love is rockin’ a belly bump these days, and while she is working hard at creating a tiny human, you want to give her something special to show how much you love her. You’re in luck because we’ve rounded up 50 of the best gifts for pregnant women! Keep reading for gift ideas to make the next nine months comfy for both mama and baby.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. To learn more about ’em, click here.

To help you find something amazing for the mama-to-be in your life, we’ve broken our list down into several different categories, including clothing, self-care, sleep, morning sickness, postpartum, and other unique and helpful gifts. Take a look below!

Table of Contents

1. Gifts for Pregnant Women That They Will Love
2. Gifts for Pregnant Women: Clothing
3. Gifts for Pregnant Women: Self-Care
4. Gifts for Pregnant Women: Sleep
5. Gifts for Pregnant Women: Morning Sickness
6. Gifts for Pregnant Women: Postpartum
7. Gifts for Pregnant Women: Nourishment
8. Gifts for Pregnant Women: Unique Gifts

Gifts for Pregnant Women: Clothing

1. Soft Knit Jogger Maternity Lounge Set (PinkBlush): When looking for a gift for a pregnant friend, a maternity lounge set is a perfect option, and this soft jogger set is both comfy and cute!

2. Foucome Women’s Maternity Lounge Pants (Amazon): Comfortable pants are a must-have! Trust us, she’ll live in these pants.

3. Kindred Bravely Emmaline Maternity & Nursing Robe (Amazon): This gorgeous robe has two belt positions, so it can be used through all stages of pregnancy and postpartum.

4. Arizona Essentials EVA Slip-on Sandals (Birkenstock): One of the best gifts for pregnant women, slip-on sandals are ideal for swollen feet. Plus, she doesn’t have to bend over to put them on!

5. Suekaphin Nursing Bras (Amazon): Comfortable and breathable, these nursing bras give just the right amount of support, and they’re great to sleep in, too!

6. Maternity Belly Support Tank Top (Blanqi): Give your pregnant friend a belly lift with this belly support tank top.

7. Belly Pregnancy Support Band (Belly Bandit): This is a support band that grows with mama’s belly, making it perfect for her entire pregnancy!

8. Zermatt Shearling Slipper (Birkenstock): Recommended by a podiatrist as the overall best slipper for pregnancy, these slippers would make excellent gifts for pregnant women.

Gifts for Pregnant Women: Self-Care

9. Earth Mama Belly Butter (Amazon): Made with clean ingredients, this vegan belly butter will soothe itchy bellies and increase skin elasticity.

10. Spa Gift Card: Soothe all her aches and pains and treat mama to a relaxing prenatal massage by gifting her a spa gift card.

11. Foot Massager (Amazon): Give her barking dogs some relief with her very own portable foot massager!

12. Neck and Shoulder Massager (Amazon): Speaking of portable massagers, help alleviate the tension in her neck and shoulders with this deep-kneading shiatsu massager.

13. Pregnant Pampering Spa Set (Honest): Soaking salts, body oil, and nip balm—oh, my!

14. Earth Mama “Peaceful Mama” Tea (Amazon): This caffeine-free, citrus chamomile tea will turn a stressed mama into a peaceful mama in no time!

15. GalSports Pregnancy Yoga Ball (Amazon): Perfect for use during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum, this yoga ball is definitely one of the best gifts for pregnant women!

16. Pink Stork Pregnancy Flakes (Pink Stork): Help mama soak her achy body and improve her mood with these 100% Dead Sea salt flakes.

17. Bamboo Bathtub Tray Caddy (Amazon): She’ll need a bathtub caddy so she can watch a show or read a book while soaking. Make sure to trade out that wine for a good mocktail, though! We have some amazing mocktail recipes for you to try!

18. Pregnancy Subscription Boxes (Bump Box): Subscription boxes, like Bump Box, are amazing pregnancy gifts for first-time moms and even veteran mamas! Mama-to-be will be so excited to see the new, safe, and healthy products each month.

19. doTERRA Family Essentials Kit (doTERRA): Essential oils can help combat nausea and other less-than-appealing pregnancy issues. Make sure to research which oils are safe to use during pregnancy.

20. Essential Oil Diffuser (Amazon): She’ll need a diffuser to go with those essential oils!

Gifts for Pregnant Women: Sleep

21. Leachco Snoogle Pillow (Amazon): Because sleep is so hard to come by when pregnant, gift your friend a maternity body pillow to support her growing belly and help her get the rest she deserves!

22. Minky Blanket (Minky Couture): Cozy and oh-so-soft, your pregnant friend will love cuddling up in a gorgeously luxurious blanket!

23. Sonoro Kate Cooling Bamboo Sheets (Amazon): Help keep her body cool at night with these cooling bamboo sheets. Check out the link—it has so many amazing reviews!

24. Bucky No Pressure Sleep Mask (Amazon): Help her relax and fall asleep swiftly with this pressure-free sleep mask. It will keep the pressure off her eyes, allowing her to blink freely.

25. Purple Cloud Pillow (Amazon): It’s so hard to get a good night’s sleep on a bad pillow. Give her neck the support she needs with a good one!

Gifts for Pregnant Women: Morning Sickness

26. Preggie Pop Drops Plus (Amazon): Completely natural, these drops are 100% safe for mama to suck on while combating those months of morning sickness and nausea.

27. Acupressure Nausea Relief Bracelets (Uncommon Goods): Not only are these bracelets pretty and stylish, but they also use acupressure to quell nausea and morning sickness.

28. Pink Stork Morning Sickness Relief Sweets (Amazon): These discreetly wrapped morning sickness sweets include a powerful combination of ginger, vitamin B6, and digestive enzymes.

29. Frida Mom Anti-Nausea Band (Amazon): Similar to the beaded bracelet, this anti-nausea band uses acupressure points to relieve symptoms of nausea and morning sickness.

30. Scrunchies (Amazon): If she’s spending a lot of time hugging the toilet these days, she definitely needs some fun scrunchies to hold up that beautiful hair of hers!

31. Hair Claw Clips (Amazon): Get her some claw clips, too! These are so cute; why not get yourself some clips while you’re at it?

Gifts for Pregnant Women: Postpartum

32. Frida Mom Labor + Delivery Kit (Frida): Frida has some amazing products, and we believe this kit has all the things she needs from her first contractions to beyond delivery.

33. Tushy Classic Bidet (Amazon): Hear us out. This may seem like a strange gift for a pregnant friend, but after delivery, this baby will be her new best friend. Gentle and easy to use, a bidet will help her keep things as clean as possible, especially if stitches are involved.

34. Postpartum Belly Support Recovery Wrap (Amazon): This support belt is helpful for stabilizing and restoring core strength as well as aiding in c-section recovery.

35. New Mama Affirmations (Amazon): Give your friend an encouraging and empowering gift: affirmations to help her have an uplifting postpartum experience.

36. Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Skin Recovery Set (Amazon): Made with shea butter, collagen, and elastin, this kit is amazing at firming stretched-out skin.

37. My Brest Friend Original Nursing Posture Pillow (Amazon): We love this wrap-around nursing pillow. The back support helps her posture, and the pocket on the side is essential for holding any extra things mama might need!

Gifts for Pregnant Women: Nourishment

38. Restaurant Gift Cards: The gift of food is truly one of the best gifts for pregnant women. You definitely don’t want her to get prangry (pregnant, hungry, and angry—a deadly combination)! Find a gift card for a local restaurant or take a look at these restaurant gift cards on Amazon.

39. Stanley Tumbler (Amazon): Keep mama hydrated during pregnancy and postpartum with a trendy tumbler that will keep her water ice cold all day long!

Gifts for Pregnant Women: Unique Gifts

40. Mom’s One Line a Day: A Five-Year Memory Journal (Amazon): Moms are busy, but we love this journal because it only requires her to write one small line or milestone a day.

41. Letters to My Baby (Amazon): Help her make a keepsake that she and her baby will treasure forever.

42. Undefining Motherhood Pregnancy Planner (Etsy): Is your pregnant friend an organizer? If so, she will just love this pregnancy and newborn planner!

43. Baby Sonogram Picture Frame (Amazon): Looking for pregnancy gifts for first-time moms? This picture frame is perfect!

44. The Doula Deck (Uncommon Goods): Created by a doula, these cards have individual ideas and practices to help keep mama calm and connected with her baby throughout pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

45. Belly Cast Kit (Amazon): If you are looking for a truly unique and memorable keepsake for a pregnant mama, then this is the gift for you!

46. Instant Pot (Walmart): Mama doesn’t have time to cook (who does?!), and this instant pot will really cut down time in the kitchen.

47. Womb Music Bluetooth Belly Speaker (Amazon): Help her play music for her baby in surround sound with this wireless belly speaker. It syncs right up to her phone, so she can play her favorite playlists for baby.

48. House Cleaning Services: Give your friend the gift of relaxation and a clean house by hiring house cleaners to spiffy up her home. Make sure she is comfortable with people coming into her house beforehand, though!

49. Roomba Robot Vacuum Cleaner (Amazon): Vacuuming can be tough while pregnant, so why not give your friend a robot cleaner to do the work for her?

50. Amazon Prime Membership (Amazon): If your friend doesn’t already have an Amazon Prime membership, consider giving her the gift of two-day shipping! She can order all of her favorite pregnancy products and cravings and get them shipped right to her door. Plus, after the baby comes, it will be so nice for her to be able to order diapers, wipes, and more!

There you go—the best gifts for pregnant women all wrapped up nicely for you in this fun round-up!

If you need more ideas for after the baby comes, check out our huge list of gift ideas for new moms! We also have the best ideas for how to throw an amazing gender reveal party for mama!

Happy gifting!

Fathers wield troubling power, whether they like it or not, writes Katherine Angel in her book Daddy Issues: Love and Hate in the Time of Patriarchy. Science seems to agree. There is growing evidence — like this study and this one — to suggest that our early relationship with our father sets the template for: 

• how we see ourselves, 
• connect with the world, 
• treat the people in our lives, and 
• expect them to treat us.

What happens when this relationship goes awry or is non-existent? We may spiral into patterns of poor behavior and relationship decisions that are dubbed daddy issues in common speak. And they are far more complex than the hypersexualized archetypes that pop culture paints. 

To get a better understanding of what are daddy issues, delve deeper into daddy issues meaning, how they manifest, and how to cope with them, we spoke to psychiatrist Dr. Dhruv Thakkar (MBBS, DPM) who specializes in mental health counseling, cognitive behavioral therapy, and relaxation therapy.

Daddy Issues Meaning 

So, what are daddy issues? “These are a range of unhealthy or maladaptive behaviors that can arise due to problematic parenting or parenting mistakes on the part of one’s father, or even his absence, and develop as coping behaviors in childhood,” says Dr. Thakkar. Such behaviors usually manifest as: 

• Difficulties with trust 
• Fear of abandonment
• Over-attachment to outcomes 
• Need for approval
• Struggles with self-esteem or self-worth
• Quest for father substitutes
• Risky sexual behaviors, and more

“If these behaviors stick, they shape into what are called daddy issues,” Dr. Thakkar adds. According to him, though widely used, ‘daddy issues’ is not a clinical term. So where did it originate from? For that, we will need to delve into daddy issues psychology.

Related Reading: 15 Signs You Had Toxic Parents And You Never Knew It

Daddy issues psychology

Trauma comes back as a reaction, not a memory, writes Dr. Bessel van der Kolk in The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. People who have complicated or poor relationships with their fathers tend to form strong and unconscious images, associations, or feelings when it comes to their dads. 

These unconscious impulses affect how they relate to their father, father figures, or authority figures in general. They also tend to get projected onto their romantic partners:

• A positive impulse could manifest as respect or adulation
• A negative impulse could present as trust issues, anxiety, or fear

These unconscious impulses make up the father complex. The idea of the father complex comes from Sigmund Freud and is linked to his well-known theory of the Oedipus complex. And it is this idea that has gained currency as ‘daddy issues’ in popular culture. 

Daddy Issues Causes

So what lies at the root of daddy issues? According to Dr. Thakkar, there are primarily three factors that can cause people to develop a father complex or daddy issues. These are:

1. Parenting style of the father

“At a young age, I was [expected] to obey my father’s whims and defiance was met with swift yelling and physical punishment,” Quora user Rosemary Taylor recalls. Eventually, she started to fear angering others, which left her vulnerable to dominating partners and apprehensive about starting serious relationships.

People with unresolved issues with their fathers tend to develop behaviors that do not serve them well, especially in adult love relationships. Dr. Thakkar says these behaviors depend on whether their fathers were:

• Physically present but drew constant comparisons 
• Loving but controlling 
• Inconsistent in their presence or behaviors 
• Emotionally unavailable or withdrawn 
• Abusive 
• Or, dysfunctional 

“Often, women with emotionally unavailable fathers go on relationship sprees or pick unhealthy partners. Men and women with abusive fathers or dysfunctional fathers tend to rebel, or become highly submissive, or even, repeat abusive patterns or dysfunctional relationship cycles,” he explains.

2. Attachment issues with the father

How secure people are in adult relationships depends a lot on the way they felt around their parents growing up, particularly, how connected they felt to them. According to attachment theory, children with poor relationships with their primary caregivers develop insecure attachment styles. For instance, a broken relationship with one’s father can lead one to form:

• Fearful avoidant attachment style and have trouble trusting romantic partners or end up being emotionally distant from them
• Dismissive avoidant attachment style and reject or avoid intimacy
• Anxious/preoccupied attachment style and become insecure, obsessive, or cling to relationships

3. Absence of the father

If their father was physically absent, men and women may grow up fearing abandonment or fixate on a strong father figure — some men may even try to be one. Dr. Thakkar says, “Or, they may model their mother who did everything on her own and have trouble asking for help or delegating work.”

Though both men and women can develop daddy issues, over the years, the term has become overwhelmingly, and often disparagingly, associated with women. What’s more, society seems to have overlooked the place of daddies in daddy issues altogether, according to Angel. To do that is to mistake the symptoms for malaise. So, what are the symptoms of daddy issues? Let’s take a closer look.

Related Reading: 10 Subtle Abandonment Issues In Relationships And 5 Tips To Cope With Them

9 Clear Signs You Have Daddy Issues

“When it comes to daddy issues, it is important to understand that not everyone who grows up without a father, has a complicated relationship with their father, or carries attachment wounds from childhood ends up with such issues,” explains Dr. Thakkar. 

So how to know if you have daddy issues? He offers a rule of thumb: “We all have issues. If the majority of your distress or the majority of your emotional baggage is coming out of patterns that originated from unresolved issues with your father, only then does it point to a father complex or daddy issues.”

Here are some clear signs of daddy issues in a woman and a man:

1. You seek father substitutes or try to be a father figure

According to Dr. Thakkar, when women grow up without their father, form an unhealthy bond with their dad, or have an emotionally unavailable father, they tend to seek father-type replacements:

• Someone seemingly strong, mature, and confident who can fulfill their subconscious desire to be acknowledged or protected
• Someone who can provide them the love or reassurance they missed growing up 

“That’s why it is very common for women with daddy issues to date older men,” he says. That being said, not every younger woman who falls for an older man has daddy issues. Meanwhile, researchers have found that men who grow up without fathers tend to search for father substitutes in adulthood. Sometimes, unresolved issues with their fathers can lead men to try and be father figures themselves.

Dr. Thakkar recalls one client, Amit (name changed), who took on the role of a father figure for everyone in his life. “By doing so, he was trying to be the person he never had. So, whenever anyone rejected his — often unsolicited — help, he felt extremely distressed. He eventually learned healthier ways to still be a giving person without short-circuiting his boundaries or those of others around him. That saved him from a lot of emotional burnout.”

2. You form poor-quality relationships

Research has shown that our choice of intimate partners largely depends on our equation with the opposite-sex parent. Often, if a woman’s bond with her father is messy or non-existent, she may pick partners who repeat the same cycle of poor treatment or neglect that she experienced with her father.

In fact, difficulty forming healthy romantic relationships is one of the commonest signs of daddy issues in a woman. Men with daddy issues tend to get into poor relationship cycles, too.

“When Amit came for counseling, he was dating a girl who had grown up without her father. Through their relationship, they were both trying to fill the emotional void left by their father. Though it may provide momentary solace, such temporary replacement does not resolve the actual trauma. Since they were both coming from a place of lack, their issues remained constantly on the surface and their bond turned sour,” says Dr. Thakkar.

He says their connection improved only after they became emotionally independent and their relationship stopped revolving around one person being the provider and the other being the child figure or seeker.

3. You indulge in unhealthy patterns of behavior

Growing up with a father who does not meet your need for love or reassurance can be damaging to your mental health in more ways than one. It can even lead to self-sabotaging behaviors or poor behavior choices — one of the clearest daddy issues signs. 

In one study, researchers found that: 

• Having a disengaged father or experiencing poor-quality fathering can increase women’s chances of engaging in unrestricted or risky sexual behaviors 
• Just remembering painful or disappointing experiences with their father can lead women to perceive greater sexual interest in men and indulge in unhealthy sexual behaviors

Dr. Thakkar recalls one client, Mitra (name changed), who grew up with a physically violent father. This led her to actively seek out pain as a coping mechanism.  “Whenever she was emotionally disturbed or couldn’t deal with something, she would ask her boyfriend to hit her. Realizing how she was expecting unhealthy things from others and finding alternate coping strategies was what eventually helped her,” he adds.

Related Reading: 11 Examples Of Self-Sabotaging Behaviors That Ruin Relationships

4. You need constant validation if you have daddy issues

We all have an innate yearning for validation. For someone to tell us we’re doing a good job. Or, that our feelings make sense or are reasonable. Growing up, we often turn to our parents for this approval or assurance. So, what happens when this validation is lacking or comes with strings attached? 

“When you always have to dance to be loved, who you are is constantly onstage. You’re only as good as your last A, your last sale, your last hit. And when your loved ones’ view of you can change in an instant, it cuts to the core of your being… ultimately, this way of life focuses on what others think, feel, say, and do,” say Tim Clinton and Gary Sibcy.

Dr. Thakkar explains, “Men and women with daddy issues tend to base their self-worth on what others think. So, they tend to people please and seek constant validation in relationships. They may even get overly attached to outcomes – such as marks or academic performance – since they feel they need to ‘earn’ their parent’s love.” 

5. You have low self-esteem 

“If your parents’ faces never lit up when they looked at you, it’s hard to know what it feels like to be loved and cherished…If you grew up unwanted and ignored, it is a major challenge to develop a visceral sense of agency and self-worth,” says psychiatrist and trauma research author Dr. Bessel van der Kolk.

“It is common for people with daddy issues to feel unloved or struggle with feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem, especially if they grew up around a controlling father,” says Dr. Thakkar. Their insecure attachment styles lead them to over-analyze, over-apologize, and be over-critical of themselves — habits that further undermine their mental health. 

How does this play out in their intimate relationships? They become needy, possessive, jealous, or anxious. They can even become codependent, take everything too personally, or fear confrontation. Sound familiar? Then it points to signs you have daddy issues. 

6. You have trouble setting healthy boundaries

How to know if you have daddy issues? Take a good look at your boundaries — the limits you set when it comes to your time, emotions, or personal space, your personal rulebook for what’s okay for you and what’s not. Now try and answer these questions:

• How do you react when someone breaches these boundaries? 
• How comfortable are you asserting them? 
• What happens in situations where you would rather say no? Do you end up saying yes out of guilt or a fear of disappointing others?

“People with daddy issues struggle to set healthy boundaries in romantic relationships. This is especially true for those whose fathers were aggressive, abusive, or emotionally checked out,” says Dr. Thakkar. What’s the outcome? They find it hard to state their wants and needs in intimate relationships, which further erodes their self-esteem and mental health.

Related Reading: 19 Examples Of Healthy Boundaries In Relationships

7. You fear abandonment

Does the thought of your partner rejecting you flood you with anxiety? Are you constantly on tenterhooks because you’re afraid they will leave you? Are you holding tight to a dysfunctional marriage or an abusive partner because the thought of being alone is far scarier? 

Insecure attachment styles or attachment issues with our father can lead us to believe that nothing is permanent and that good things don’t last. Here’s what happens next: 

• We develop abandonment issues in adult relationships 
• Or, we form fearful avoidant attachment styles that lead us to keep one foot out the door in intimate relationships because we can’t cope with heartbreak

Quora user Jessica Fletcher says her father issues led her to feel unworthy of love and push boundaries with her romantic partner “to see if he would abandon me too”. Ultimately, such maladaptive coping behaviors result in the very thing we dread: being alone or abandoned. They are also symptoms of daddy issues.

8. You have problems with authority figures

According to Dr. Thakkar, the way people interact with authority figures, say their teachers or supervisors at work, can be a clear marker of daddy issues. Often people who grew up around aggressive, overcontrolling, or abusive fathers:

• Get intimidated by anyone in authority to the point they freeze with anxiety 
• Bend over backward to please them, or avoid authority figures altogether
• Or, rebel and become combative against any semblance of authority  

These reactions usually arise from their associating authority figures with their fathers and automatically expecting certain behaviors from them, he explains.

9. You have major trust issues

“Whenever someone comes to me and says they don’t trust men in general or find it difficult to trust their partner, I first look at their history with their father. More often than not, men and women with daddy issues have a high trust deficit in their adult relationships,” says Dr. Thakkar.

This usually develops as a defense mechanism because they did not have a secure base or grew up thinking they couldn’t rely on their father. And what does that lead to? They constantly fear that their partner would turn on them or deceive them. So, they have difficulty opening up to their partner or being their authentic selves in a relationship. Eventually, keeping their guard up all the time leaves them exhausted and overwhelmed. It also takes a toll on their mental health. 

Related Reading: 11 Things That Happen In Relationships Without Trust

5 Ways To Cope With Daddy Issues And Have Healthy Relationships

Any kind of childhood trauma can keep us stuck in survival mode — a near-constant state of fight-or-flight or permanent alert that keeps our body and mind trapped in the past. This prevents us from healing. It keeps us from planning a future and living our best life. It is also what leaves us struggling to trust or put down roots and thrive. Survival mode may work as a way to cope, but it is hardly meant to be a way of life. So, what are some ways to resolve daddy issues and forge healthy relationships? Dr. Thakkar shares some tips:

1. Practice self-awareness

Often, people with daddy issues don’t make the connection between the behavior or problems they are facing and their bond with their father. So, the first step is recognizing how your equation with your father is affecting you. To do this, you will need to start practicing self-awareness. 

“Make a habit of observing your reactions in your routine life. Take a journal and jot down your everyday behaviors, thoughts, and actions. Also, watch how you interact with others around you,” advises Dr. Thakkar. 

Next, try and pinpoint the triggers for your behaviors and emotional patterns. You may need to take the help of a mental health professional to do this. “If your behaviors or relationship problems stem from daddy issues, there will be a direct link to problematic parenting,” he explains. Remember, self-awareness is not self-judgment. It is also a process and almost always presents a choice: to continue old patterns or build healthier ones.

2. Get professional help

“Often, by the time children grow up and become aware of their daddy issues, they are so deeply entrenched or have gotten so complex that they are in no position to deal with them on their own,” says Dr. Thakkar. That’s why seeking therapy or reaching out to a mental health professional could help. 

Remember the words of the late television host Fred Rogers: “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.”

If you’re looking for help, counselors on Bonobology’s panel are just a click away.

3. Build self-acceptance

If you experienced trauma at an early age or developed insecure attachment styles, chances are you did not develop a strong or positive sense of self. “In order to heal, you will need to accept yourself completely, and that means no judgments, no beating yourself up about the past, and instead, learning to be comfortable in your skin,” says Dr. Thakkar.

That also means not numbing, minimizing, or ignoring your gut feelings, but tuning hard into them, even if it is uncomfortable or scary. It is learning not to blame yourself for what your father did or didn’t do. And it means taking your attention away from people’s opinions or approval and putting the focus firmly back on you and figuring out what you really want in a situation or relationship. This will also help you set better boundaries to form healthier relationships.

Related Reading: How To Love Yourself – 21 Self Love Tips

4. Think about alternative coping behaviors

If you carry the bricks from your past relationships, you will end up building the same house. Healing starts with breaking unhealthy patterns or behaviors that hold us back and paving new pathways of thinking and coping, one fresh brick at a time. “Once you know which coping behaviors don’t serve you, think about how you can replace them. Make a list of alternatives,” says Dr. Thakkar. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

5. Learn to manage your expectations

When we constantly bend our reality to someone else’s script or expected version of us, it twists our perceptions and expectations. Ultimately, this becomes a trap that holds us hostage to poor patterns or behaviors. To cope with daddy issues, you will need to take a closer look at your expectations, find ways to manage them or reset them, and keep them real.   

As with most things in life, when it comes to daddy issues, there is always a chance to course-correct. Don’t let a negative relationship with your father define who you are. Lean into your own self and set your own path, even if it is one shaky step at a time. 

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