Category: Dating & Love

After months of preparing to give birth to her first child at a birthing center, T’Nika’s plans had to change: She needed a caesarean section due go her baby’s placement during delivery. As a Black woman giving birth during COVID-19, giving birth outside of a traditional hospital sounded appealing. But her baby had other plans, and due to the birthing center’s working relationship with a nearby hospital, T’Nika was quickly transferred.

T’Nika’s story is one that’s shared in the book Birth: Three Mothers, Nine Months, and Pregnancy in America, which is out today, illustrating how the number of people giving birth at birthing centers or at home has increased, especially for Black people, since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.

In Birth, journalist Rebecca Grant writes about the journeys of three pregnant women, including T’Nika’s, all of whom have considered giving birth at a birthing center in Portland, Oregon, and the importance of pregnant people having the ability to choose the right birthing option for them.

“It’s ultimately about ensuring that people have access to the environment that is the best fit for them both in terms of the medical care that they want or need,” Grant said.

Rewire News Group chatted with Grant on her reporting on birthing centers, ethics on reporting on maternal health care in a polarized environment, the importance of an intersectional framework when looking at people’s birthing experiences, and more.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Rewire News Group: Was there a moment in your own reporting and/or life that drew you to wanting to focus more on birthing centers?

Rebecca Grant: When I first started covering kind of this beat, most of my work was focused on abortion. As I was doing that reporting, I started to cover more stories about maternal health care as well. A lot of the themes that came up in the reporting that I did on abortion were also deeply relevant to conversations about maternal health care. As I was reporting on maternal health care, I was sort of introduced to the concept of midwives; not that they weren’t on my radar, but just as sort of an avenue that I might look into. That was how I found birth centers or became interested in birth centers through the portal of midwives.

In terms of the books specifically, there were a couple of reasons why birth centers appealed to me. I liked that it was sort of like a halfway between the home and the hospital. When I was first conceiving of the book, one of my ideas had been to focus on three different women or three different stories, but maybe have one be at home, one be at a birth center, and one be at a hospital, too, because I was really interested in the different experiences and histories across environments. In an effort to sort of have more cohesion, and for there to be a specific setting for the book, I thought birth centers made sense because it’s this halfway point.

RNG: Pregnancy and giving birth has become such a politicized topic. Could you talk about the importance of an active, ongoing journalistic consent process in your reporting?

RG: When I was just at the birth center, shadowing some of the midwives or just meeting people who are coming in and out, I would always have either myself or the midwife that I was spending time with introduce me and check with the client before an appointment if it was OK for me to be in the room. In almost all cases, the client said that it was fine—one or two times they said no, and I would just go wait out in the lobby. I would be really clear about sort of what I was doing and if they were going to be identified, what that process would look like.

Then with the three main characters, I had really long conversations with each of them about what would be involved in terms of the time commitment, in terms of me digging around into there, let you know, “I’m going to want to look at your medical records, I’m going to want to talk to your mom or your partner, I’m going to want to sit in on appointments, if I can,” so that there weren’t any surprises. I had told each of them that if they wanted to go by a pseudonym, that was something we could talk about—not go by their real first names—but they all chose to go by their first names. That was something I would also check in about periodically.

In terms of the content, I tried to be really clear the whole time of, “If there’s anything that you don’t want to be included, just let me know, or we’ll talk about it, that’s fine.” For the most part, they were just incredibly open in a way that I really appreciated. I think it was interesting, conversations Jillian and I would have, because consent is such a big part of midwifery practice and practicing informed consent and asking people for their permission for everything. That was kind of an interesting commonality to identify, it was that me constantly checking in and that way, it was something that she was also trained to do as a midwife.

RNG: Two out of the three women who planned to give birth at a birthing center then had complications, which led them to be transferred. Did this change your approach in writing this book?

RG: The transfer rate for first-time mothers who give birth or first-time people who give birth outside of a hospital is relatively high, so just statistically speaking, I was maybe expecting that one person might make a transfer.

I think that there was a fact that each of the moves that just speaks to that complexity, and that unpredictability in a way that I felt like was really important. Even if you are planning to go to a hospital and that’s where you end up giving birth, that doesn’t mean that everything is going to go according to plan even if you don’t move locations. A lot of people who I’ve interviewed over the years have grappled with feeling like a failure when things don’t go according to plan. So being able to portray people who things didn’t go to plan, but it ended up being OK, it ended up being what they needed. I was grateful that I was able to include that sort of complexity in there.

One of the kind of arguments that the book makes around how to improve our maternal health-care system is about the importance of smooth integration and relationships between midwives and birth centers, and out-of-hospital providers with doctors and hospitals so that transfers can happen smoothly—both medically speaking and just in terms of how people are treated. And, so, I think that the fact that everyone kind of moves locations, also just emphasize[s] that point as well.

RNG: What resources were the most helpful for you in learning and understanding the history of midwifery in the United States, including anti-Black laws making this practice more difficult to do in some states?

RG: I would say some books that I either read or reread were Killing the Black Body by Dorothy Roberts; I read a whole slew of midwife memoirs, like Listen to Me Good, which was a memoir from Margaret Charles Smith [and Linda Janet Holmes], and Motherwit by Onnie Lee Logan. That was their firsthand experiences of being African American grand midwives in the South during this period, when a lot of these laws that were trying to phase midwives out in a very targeted way were coming. You’re able to sort of understand what it was like to get this letter from the health department and find out that your license wasn’t going to be renewed.

Then, also, a lot of drawing on interviews and articles and speeches of people like Dr. Joia Adele Crear-Perry, who’s the founder of the National Birth Equity Collaborative.

RNG: Why is it important that journalists include external factors that could impact people’s lived experiences? I appreciated that throughout this book, there was an emphasis on how anti-Black racism in medicine shaped one woman being drawn to the birthing centers, as well as the fact that COVID-19 was and continues to make going to hospitals potentially dangerous for pregnant people.

RG: We’re all affected and shaped by our environment, and that has an impact on our health. I would also venture to say that it’s particularly strong when it comes to pregnancy and birth, because those aren’t just medical events. They’re also social and cultural and emotional events. They touch so many aspects of lives. Once you start digging, nothing is happening in a vacuum. Everything is interconnected. These are the sort of ideas that people like Loretta Ross and Kimberlé Crenshaw have been saying for and advocating for decades. Any kind of reproductive justice organization that applies that framework to their work is always looking at so many different factors that are at play. There’s no one answer to the question “Why are our outcomes the way that they are? Or why are the disparities as persistent?”

I think one of the things that COVID did was it changed the risk calculus for a lot of people because for a lot of people, there’s been this idea that the hospital is the safest place to be to give birth. But, in early COVID, people were worried about diseases spreading, or they’re worried about being separated from their baby, they’re worried about not being able to have a support person with them. I think that that led to a change in sort of weighing the pros and cons for some people that maybe wouldn’t have happened or would have happened on a slower timeline.

Jess and Imani recorded this special episode of Boom! Lawyered in front of a live audience over the weekend at the Summit for Religious Freedom. Tune in for their expert analysis on the mifepristone lawsuit.

Rewire News Group is a nonprofit media organization, which means that Boom! Lawyered is only made possible by the support of listeners like you! If you can, please join our team by donating here.

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

 

Do you find the psychology of extreme athletes and their relationships fascinating?
Are you curious about what motivates climbers and mountaineers to push themselves to the limit and risk it all?
Are you a creative and could you use some tips on how to follow your creative spirit?
If so, you won’t want to miss this interview with Emmy-winning American filmmaker Peter Mortimer, who shares his unique perspective on relationships. Jayson’s experience as an extreme athlete and a therapist allows him to gain a unique insight into extreme athletes’ psychology. In their conversation, they discuss the reasons why climbers push themselves to the edge, the deeper experiences they seek, and the heightened awareness they gain through their adventures.
Discover the psychology of extreme athletes, as well as insights into the mind of a brilliant creator in this unforgettable episode.

Useful Links:

 







 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Timestamps:

• 0:55 – Guest introduction
• 10:50 – The Alpinist
• 36:00 – What motivates women who climb?
• 39:00 – Reel Rock 17
• 44:45 – How Pete thinks about the creative process
• 50:40 – Pete’s advice to stuck creatives

Links:

The Best Pool Games for Your Next Pool Party!

Don’t you miss the good ol’ days when you could just push someone into a pool without having to worry about their cell phone? We sure do. Pool parties just aren’t the same anymore!

That’s why we’ve come up with 15 of the best swimming pool games for parties. With this list, you don’t even have to throw someone fully clothed into the pool to have a good time! Take a look at all the games below!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. To learn more about ’em, click here.

Below, we have pool float party games and swimming games for adults and children alike. We’re sure you’ll find something to float your boat!

For your convenience, we’ve divided the pool games into two categories: small groups and large groups.

Table of Contents

1. The Best Pool Games for Your Next Pool Party!
2. Pool Games for Two or More Players
3. Pool Games for Bigger Groups

Pool Games for Two or More Players

1. Noodle Joust

Items Needed: 2 pool noodles and 2 kickboards/floats

Number of Players: 2 or more

How to Play: Each player sits on a kickboard or float and tries to knock the other player off their kickboard and into the water using their pool noodle. Whoever knocks the other player into the water wins! If this is too easy, try kneeling or standing on the kickboard!

2. Tea Party

Items Needed: goggles

Number of Players: 2 or more

How to Play: Kids love this game! The point is to have a “tea party” or “picnic” at the bottom of the shallow end. Players will begin the party by choosing what they will do first. For example, they can choose to spread out a blanket to sit on. Then, players will take a deep breath, go underwater, and pretend to spread a blanket on the bottom of the pool before coming up for air. Other ideas include setting up the blanket with plates and cups or placing food on the plates. Play continues until they finally get to enjoy their “tea” or “picnic.” Players will take a deep breath, go underwater, and try to sit “criss-cross applesauce” on their “blanket.” They will pretend to drink “tea” and blow bubbles out of their mouths. This game usually results in lots of giggles!

3. Corners

Items Needed: goggles

Number of Players: 2

How to Play: This game is best played in the deep end of the pool. Find a corner of the pool and choose which player will swim first. The other player will face towards the corner of the pool and spread their arms and legs out (like a star). They will hold onto the sides of the pool with their hands, and their feet will be against the walls of the pool underwater. For the first challenge, the swimmer will begin in the corner of the pool, swim under the other player’s legs, and come up for air behind them. They will then swim back under their legs to the corner again.

The object of the game is to not touch any parts of the other player’s body while swimming. If the swimmer bumps or touches any part of the other player’s body, they switch places. If the player successfully completes the challenge without touching, they will move on to a more difficult challenge. The game gets progressively more difficult as the players come up with more challenges, like swimming through the side of their arms and legs, swimming in a circle around the player, or swimming under and back without coming up for air in the middle.

4. Classic Cannonball Contest

Items Needed: None

Number of Players: At least 2, but it’s more fun with lots of people!

How to Play: Have a classic cannonball contest, but make sure to do it in the deep end! Take turns jumping off the diving board or the side of the pool. The person who makes the biggest splash is the winner!

5. Dishwasher

Items Needed: None

Number of Players: 3

How to Play: This is a dunking game, so make sure all players are okay with dunking before playing! First, one person is chosen to be “it.” He/she walks away for a moment while the other two players quietly agree upon a color. When a color is chosen, the person who is “it” comes back to the group. The other players hold the “it” player between them, with their head held on one side and their legs held with their other arms.

The “it” player then tries to guess the color the other two players chose. If the player gets it wrong, the other two players tip the “it” player backward and dunks their head briefly in the water. The color guessing continues until they guess correctly. When this happens, the other two players completely tip the “it” player backward and let go, so the “it” player does a backward somersault in the water. Switch turns and play again!

6. Follow the Leader

Items Needed: None

Number of Players: 2 or more players

How to Play: This game is simple and is played just like it sounds. Take turns being the leader. The leader will do something in the pool, and the other players have to take turns imitating the action. Switch leaders after each player gets a turn to do the first person’s action. This game is especially fun on a diving board! You could even have a person judge the actions or dives to see who did the best.

7. Treasure Hunt

Items Needed: Goggles, Treasure (many items that can sink)

Number of Players: 2 or more players

How to Play: It’s time to dive for treasure! Someone throws the “treasure” into the pool, and when they say, “Go!” all players dive into the pool to gather up as much “treasure” as they can. They can place what they find on the side of the pool and dive for more until all the “treasure” has been found. Whoever finds the most “treasure” wins!

8. Invisible Bottle

Items Needed: empty clear 2-liter soda bottle

Number of Players: At least 2 players

How to Play: Fill up the clear soda bottle with pool water and put the cap back on. While the players’ backs are turned, one non-player will throw the bottle into the pool. When the non-player says, “Go!” the rest of the players will turn around and jump into the pool and try to find the bottle. The clear water bottle will blend in perfectly with the pool water making this a lot more challenging than it seems! The person who finds the soda bottle wins!

Pool Games for Bigger Groups

9. Mr. Shark, what time is it?

Items Needed: None

Number of Players: At least 4 players, but also good for large groups

How to Play: One person is chosen to be Mr. Shark. Mr. Shark stands at one end of the pool and faces all the other fish (or players) he plans to eat for dinner. The fish yell, “Mr. Shark, what time is it?” Mr. Shark can respond with 1 o’clock, 2 o’clock, 3 o’clock, etc. The number Mr. Shark says is the number of steps the fish will take toward Mr. Shark. Keep playing until the fish begin to get very close to Mr. Shark. At that point, when the fish ask, “Mr. Shark, what time is it?” Mr. Shark will respond with, “Dinner time!” All the fish will try to swim back to the other side, and Mr. Shark will try to tag someone. If Mr. Shark tags a fish, that player will become the new Mr. Shark.

10. Air Ball

Items Needed: beach ball

Number of Players: At least 4 people, but the more, the merrier!

How to Play: This game is played just like Keepy Uppy with a balloon (any Bluey fans here?). The object of the game is to keep the ball from touching the water by passing it to one another through a “setting” motion like in volleyball. The round ends when the ball touches the water. Do you want to make it even more challenging? Turn this simple game into a pool float party game by having to keep the ball up while sitting on separate tubes and floats!

11. Sharks and Minnows

Items Needed: None

Number of Players: At least 10 players (works well with large groups)

How to Play: One of the most classic pool games for parties, Sharks and Minnows is definitely a favorite! One player is chosen to be the shark, and the rest of the players will be minnows. The shark and minnows will stand at opposite ends of the pool. The shark will then say, “Fishies, Fishies, come out and play!” The minnows will begin to make their way to the other end of the pool before the shark tags them. If a minnow gets tagged, that player becomes a shark, which makes the game more difficult as it goes on. Keep playing until one minnow remains. The last minnow remaining wins and is now the first shark for a new round.

12. Classic Chicken Fight

Items Needed: None

Number of Players: 4 players (2 players per team). More 2-player teams can play in a tournament.

How to Play: Each team chooses who will be on top and who will be on the bottom. The person on the bottom must be in shallow enough water to be able to touch the pool floor with their feet and still have their head and shoulders out of the water. Once a player from each team has a teammate on their shoulders, the two top players begin upright wrestling. The object of the game is to knock the other top player off their teammate’s shoulders and into the pool. Whoever falls off first loses that round. The next team of two plays against the champs of the last round.

13. Jaws

Items Needed: None

Number of Players: At least 10 players (works well with large groups)

How to Play: This game is basically a water version of the game “tag.” But this tag game is not just for kids—Jaws is a perfect option for swimming games for adults, too! A person is chosen to be “Jaws,” and the other players have to try to avoid getting “bitten” or tagged. If tagged, that person is now “Jaws.”

14. Popsicle Tag

Items Needed: None

Number of Players: At least 10 players (works well with large groups)

How to Play: This is a variation on the game of “freeze tag.” Unless all players are able to tread water easily in the deep end, this game is best played in the shallow end of the pool. The person chosen to be “it” tries to tag others. If someone is tagged, they have to freeze (like a popsicle) and stand in one spot with their legs apart. To get “unfrozen,” another player has to swim under the “frozen” player’s legs. The round ends when the “it” player freezes everyone (or they are too tired to keep being “it”).

15. Atomic Whirlpool

Items Needed: None

Number of Players: a large group of people

How to Play: The object of this game is to make a large whirlpool, then turn around to see if you can go against the current! All players get in a single-file line behind the leader. The leader walks toward the end person and makes a circle. Everyone begins running as fast as they can in a circle. Once a good whirlpool current gets going, the leader then yells, “Turn!” All players will turn around and try to run against the current they made. This is sure to bring lots of laughs as everyone realizes how difficult it is to run against the current!

If you’re looking for more ways to keep cool this summer, check out our list of 75 of the Best Backyard Water Activities or try this Water Sports Date with Friends. We also recommend checking out this list of Modest Swimwear for Women—we know you’ll just love it!

We hope this list of swimmingly fun pool games helps make your next pool party a SPLASH!

Who wouldn’t want a house so well-suited to their specific requirements and taste that the first thing they do upon entering is let out a sigh of relief?

That is precisely what you stand to gain when you turn your house into a haven from the outside world. After all, people tend to spend a lot of time at home. And undoubtedly, everyone would like to avoid having a sense of urgency or disorganization in their own space without resorting to a cut-and-dry approach.

Everyone wants their house to be something other than a source of stress too.

Incorporating even a few basic changes into your homes can profoundly affect your mental and emotional well-being. Here are seven suggestions to help turn your house into the sanctuary of your works.

1. Keep your space tidy!

A cluttered, unclean environment is stressful and tiring, and you can never relax after a long, tiring day. So, the first tip is to keep your clutter under control. Keep up with your everyday chores, including putting away the dirty dishes, not leaving your shoes and coats lying around your room, and keeping your laundry under control at all costs.

– Advertisement –

You need not devote every free minute to tidying up, as you can always take breaks to relax to some fun games at your fav online casino using your Croco casino login. After all, you need adequate rest after hours of work.

Fortunately, by doing routine tidying up daily, you’ll spend less time cleaning and more time living. If you make it a practice to spend 10 minutes a day clearing up, you might be surprised by the difference it makes.

2. Add some plants

Lush vegetation is a necessary component of any sanctuary. Plants in your living room, bedroom, or even kitchen can help you relax and feel more lively. There’s a wide variety of plants out there, so take your time and pick the ones that will bring nature in all its glory into your home or office. Also, pick out beautiful plant pots to improve your space’s aesthetic.

3. Be grateful

The things you own, the house you live in, the bed you sleep in, all of these are precious. You have invested effort and money into the furnishings that now occupy your home. You probably also developed strong attachments to your belongings. So, cherish whatever you have as though it were the last one you ever had or ever will.

Recognize and appreciate its value to you.

While it may sound “woo-woo,” being thankful for all you have in your home will alter your perspective as a sense of what matters and what doesn’t in life begins to form. Once you eliminate the obstacles blocking your path to your true passions, genuine people, and the life you were meant to live, you also form a closer relationship with yourself.

4. Use your lighting intentionally

– Advertisement –

The way a room is lit has a significant effect on how it is seen. Feeling like you’re in an interrogation room or a huge box store because of the glaring fluorescent lights hung from the ceiling doesn’t resonate with anyone wanting to turn their living space into their haven.

So, a good tip would be to use your light intentionally. A room might feel more open and spacious with the help of natural light.

Additionally, since using artificial lighting is unavoidable, it’s best to keep to warmer tones and have the option to brighten or darken the space to suit your mood. You could try dimming the lights or turning some on and off; regular or battery-operated candles and string lights can also be useful. The right lights will transform your house into a relaxing haven.

5. Free up some room

Filling gaps is second nature to human beings. When a wall is blank, the default reaction is to fill it with art. People also stock up on books whenever they notice an empty shelf and stock their pantry with new food whenever it becomes empty. Still, there are times when clearing the decks is the best way to make room for fresh ideas, cherished recollections, and heartfelt gratitude.

– Advertisement –

It’s as important to clear up your schedules as it is to clear some physical space. You can better understand what’s happening in your environment if you give your mind and body time to reflect on what you’ve witnessed. Constant activity and consumption leave no room for rest and renewal.

6. Add some scent

The scent in your home can be just as important as its visual appeal when creating a relaxing and nurturing environment for yourself.

Scent has the power to transport you to cherished memories and heartwarming moments. Choose a musky or woodsy smell as the days become shorter, and switch to something with more citrus or floral undertones as the weather warms up for a pleasant change.

Final thoughts

An upgraded living space can easily become the ideal location to relax and recharge. Make improvements to the furniture, lighting, organization, and decor in the different rooms of your home. Remember to put a bit more toward the things that truly matter to you while being frugal with the aspects since turning your living space into a haven doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg.

The majority of our time is devoted to domestic pursuits. Creating a sanctuary in your home is well worth the investment, whether you’re gutting the bathroom or simply buying new towels.

Natural supplements are derived from natural sources such as plants, herbs, and minerals, and can provide a range of benefits to the body. They are increasingly popular today, as more and more people are seeking natural alternatives to conventional medicine. Here are some of the benefits of using natural supplements for health and wellness:

Natural Source of Nutrients

Many people do not get enough nutrients from their diets, and taking natural supplements can help to fill the nutritional gaps in their diet. For example, herbs such as turmeric and ginger are rich in antioxidants, which can help to protect the body from oxidative stress and inflammation. Additionally, supplements containing vitamins and minerals such as vitamin C, vitamin D, and calcium can support overall health and well-being.

Supports Immune System

Natural supplements can help to support the immune system, which is important for fighting off infections and diseases. For example, supplements containing echinacea and elderberry have been shown to support immune function and reduce the duration and severity of colds and flu. Additionally, medicinal mushrooms such as reishi, shiitake, and maitake have been shown to contain compounds that can support the immune system and reduce inflammation.

Also Read: What Are the Different Types of Supplements That Exist Today

Promotes Mental Health

Natural supplements can have a positive impact on mental health and well-being. For example, supplements containing omega-3 fatty acids, such as fish oil or flaxseed oil, have been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Additionally, herbs such as ashwagandha and holy basil have been shown to have adaptogenic properties, which can help the body adapt to stress and promote overall well-being.

– Advertisement –

Also Read: 5 Benefits of Adding Mushroom Supplements to Your Diet

Supports Cardiovascular Health 

Natural supplements can support cardiovascular health by promoting healthy blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and blood sugar levels. For example, supplements containing garlic extract or hawthorn berry extract have been shown to support healthy blood pressure, while supplements containing berberine or chromium can support healthy blood sugar levels.

Promotes Joint Health

Natural supplements can also promote joint health and reduce inflammation. For example, supplements containing glucosamine and chondroitin can help to reduce joint pain and improve mobility, while supplements containing turmeric and ginger can help to reduce inflammation.

One company that offers a range of high-quality natural supplements is Mushroom Revival. They specialize in mushroom supplements, which are derived from the fruiting bodies and mycelium of various species of mushrooms. Their products are organic, sustainably sourced, and lab tested for quality and purity.

Mushroom Revival’s mushroom supplements offer a range of health benefits. For example, their Reishi mushroom supplement can help to support the immune system and promote relaxation, while their Lion’s Mane mushroom supplement can improve cognitive function and support nerve growth. Additionally, they offer a range of mushroom blends that combine the benefits of multiple mushroom species.

Also Read: 8 Vastly Different Types Of Mushrooms In The World

Conclusion

– Advertisement –

In conclusion, natural supplements offer a range of benefits for health and wellness. They are a natural source of nutrients, can support the immune system, promote mental health, support cardiovascular health, and promote joint health. Mushroom Revival is a leading company in the natural supplement space, offering high-quality, sustainably sourced mushroom supplements that can help to improve overall health and well-being.

Being in love and having the other person feel the same way about you is a beautiful journey. However, relationships are not rosy all the time. While you’re suffering from the pain of a broken heart, it’s only natural to wonder if your SO is also going through the same. Are there any signs he regrets hurting you? After all, do guys regret letting a good girl go?

Your mind may be racing with these endless questions and you will find yourself looking for clues. Perhaps, you need to know for your own peace of mind or so that you can rekindle the relationship. How to know he regrets hurting you? Here are some signs:

13 Signs He Regrets Hurting You

Do men regret losing a good woman? A Reddit user wrote, “All the time. Its been over 10yrs and I still regret losing her. She cared for me, put me first, most of the things she did was for me and I dumped her..I’m paying for it every day.. Haven’t met anyone like her and I’m living my Karma as I write this.”

1. He keeps chasing you

A Reddit user wrote, “I have an ex from years ago who dumped me. I was the first woman who cared for him deeply. Treated him good and accepted his flaws. We didn’t get back together although he regretted his decision and tried to win me back after a month and even months later he was still chasing me.

“Years passed by and he dated another woman. She didn’t treat him right like I did and along their relationship all he could think of was our time together. They broke up eventually and he tried to take me again lol.” Hence, if he keeps coming back to you even after dating other people, then you’re the kind of girl guys regret losing.

2. He checks on you more than usual

When he knows he messed up, he will try to make it up to you by showing empathy/compassion. If he’s worried about you and constantly calls/messages to make sure you are okay, these are signs a guy is heartbroken. He can’t seem to get out of the habit of staying in touch with you all day. That’s why he tries to connect constantly with some pretext or another. If frequent check-ins are not a sign of remorse, then what are?

Related Reading: 15 Subtle Signs Your Partner Is Going To Break Up With You Soon

3. He is willing to see things from your POV

Do guys regret taking you for granted? Yes. How do they make up for it? Consider these scenarios:

• He tries really hard to understand where you’re coming from
• He tries to put himself in your shoes, every now and then
• He is willing to listen to you, even when what you say makes him uncomfortable

Analyze his behavior closely, and you’ll have your answer. His actions will show he’s trying to rebuild love after emotional damage.

4. He can’t stop showing up

One of the signs he regrets hurting you is that he will look for reasons and excuses to be around you. Here are some examples:

• You might find him at your favorite spots like your regular restaurant or supermarket
• He may show up outside your workplace or your home
• He may show up at a common friend’s party/attend events that are usually not his cup of tea

Beware, these are signs you are dating a stalker. It may seem like a strange coincidence but he knows your schedule and knows where to find you. These are some of the strongest signs he’s feeling regret after breaking up, but is it cute or creepy? That is for you to decide.

5. He’s trying to make amends

How to know he regrets hurting you? You will see a change in his actions and not just empty promises of being better. He won’t be direct with grand romantic gestures, but his actions will make it clear that he wants you back. If you are cheated upon and still decide to make a go of your relationship, you are in the driver’s seat. Remember, he has to win back your trust, so put the onus on him to make amends. A repentant man will go out of his way to attend to your needs.

If in the pre-cheating days, he rarely had the time for the kids’ homework or run errands around the house, in his new avatar, he might become more hands-on. He realizes that he has broken your heart, so the first step toward the long road to reconciliation would be to ensure your comforts are taken care of, even if it means putting himself in discomfort.

6. He is willing to seek professional help

The fact that he is willing to invest his time and energy in rebuilding his relationship with you is among the signs he regrets hurting you. Let an experienced professional help you along your journey. Maybe he’s not sure either about how to show remorse after cheating and requires guidance in that area. If you’re currently struggling with recovering after infidelity in your dynamic and wish to avail professional help, Bonobology has a multitude of experienced therapists who can help you through this trying time.

If he’s willing to work on himself, this is his way of saying that you still mean something to him. He probably misses you. Now, it is for you to decide whether you miss your ex or miss being in love. If the answer is the former, it could be worth reconsidering a future with him. But remember, fixing a failed relationship/giving someone a second chance requires a lot of patience.

7. He goes the extra mile

The partner who has caused the hurt can’t just say “sorry” and fix the other partner’s paranoia. If your SO cheated, every time he doesn’t answer your call or comes home late, you will feel anxious. Likewise, if the damage has been triggered by constant belittling or manipulation, you will likely to be more sensitive and wary of his words. 

Hence, he needs to go the extra mile to fix the damage. If he has hurt you by infidelity, here are examples of behaviors that he regrets his actions:

• He has become an open book, who keeps zero secrets from you
• If the person he had an affair with contacts him, he lets you know
• He’s making an extra effort to win your trust back, even if it means being accountable every minute of the day

8. He feels genuinely sorry

How do guys show they are sorry? According to the Gottman Repair Checklist, here are some phrases one uses when trying to show accountability for the damage that they caused:

• “I really blew that one”
• “I can see my part in all this”
• “How can I make things better?”
• “I’m sorry. Please forgive me”
• “I want to be gentler to you right now and I don’t know how”

A Reddit user wrote, “Often we may feel remorse for an action or careless words, and WANT to make amends, but can get clumsy around the actual apology itself.” So, when a man knows he messed up, his apology won’t feel fake to you. You will be able to see the genuineness, in his eyes and in his words.

Related Reading: Men vs Women – 5 Differences In How They Handle A Breakup

9. He is obsessed with the ‘what ifs’

A Reddit user wrote, “The relationship wasn’t working well, we had very different needs at the time. She’s still the best person I know. I don’t regret it so much as I think what would have happened? Would it have been just a rough patch in an otherwise great relationship? I seriously love her as a person and wish her the best. I occasionally get hit with a bit of jealousy and the ‘what ifs’.”

So, if he is still obsessed with hypothetical possibilities/what if questions, you’re definitely the kind of girl guys regret losing. Even my ex regrets breaking up with me. How do I know? He keeps using the following statements:

• “Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we were still together”
• “Can we start from scratch, go to our favorite places and make those good memories again?”
• “The regret after breakup has taken me over. I still have strong feelings for you”

10. He wants to stay friends after the breakup

Studies reveal that maintaining connection after breakup is a common way to lessen the pain of a heartbreak. But this also implies that staying in touch with an ex can eventually lead to a patch up. So, if he is up for staying friends after the breakup, it’s synonymous with “I regret losing her”.

As leadership coach Kena Shree points out, “You can still fall in love with your ex, while you are committed to someone else. This is because you are looking at your ex from a distance. Being friends with your ex shows versions of them that you didn’t know existed. So, you are at the risk of falling in love with them all over again.”

11. Your loved ones can see the change

If your marriage or committed relationship has faced the tsunami of infidelity, close friends or family will get a whiff of it. Just the way a crisis doesn’t appear suddenly, it doesn’t disappear all of a sudden either. So if you really want to know if your partner has mended his ways, seek the opinion of people you trust. They will be the best judge.

Related Reading: 13 Warning Signs Of Being Obsessed With Someone

In your obsession and yearning to make things work between you two, you might misconstrue the smallest actions to be signs he regrets losing you. Wishful thinking, as it’s called. Your clouded judgment may not be the best thing for you, which is when your friends and family can help you out.

12. He is more loving toward you

Do guys regret taking you for granted? Yes. How do they show it? By being more loving toward you. His behavior might remind you of the time you first started dating, as he tries to bring back the excitement of those days by:

• Saying ‘I love you’ like he really means it
• Holding your hand/hugging you in public
• Kissing your forehead/cheek

Cheating often occurs when a couple is well-entrenched in a relationship and one of them goes astray for whatever reason. It can also happen in a new relationship. When cheaters realize they made a mistake and he tries to make amends, it’s as good as trying to woo you anew, so he will be on his best behavior.

13. He spends quality time with you

My friend (who parted ways with his partner) told me, “I pushed her away and now I regret it. She was the best thing that happened to me. I regret letting her go. Will I ever find love again?” To win his SO back, he resorted to:

• Cuddling session, eye contact
• Revealing secrets to her
• Scheduling weekly date nights
• Picking up a new hobby together (skydiving/watching artsy movies)

So, when you regret hurting someone, you find ways to spend more time with them. If he expresses quality time love language, then it’s one of the sure-shot signs he regrets hurting you.

Finally, if you’re wondering “Will he ever apologize for hurting me?” or “Is he avoiding me because he feels guilty?”, the most important thing is to stop waiting for closure. Maybe, the Universe is trying to take you out of a painful situation. Maybe, better is coming! Also, the first place to look for love is your own heart…

How Soon Can You Start Dating Again After A Breakup?

8 Ways To Reconnect After A Big Fight

How To Get Over Someone You Love Deeply – 9 Steps To Follow

Mother’s Day is right around the corner and I know I personally take a lot of time & thought into gifting my Mama something that reminds her that a) I do listen to what she has to say and b) that I am thoughtful on gifts that show her my gratitude and appreciation and not just some random pretty Hallmark card with a $25 Starbucks gift card inside. 

These are my top picks this year for getting a meaningful and well thought gift for that speical woman in your life. 

Give mom the glow of her life with Lomolique by Gwendolyn Osborne

The first high performance age-defying facial oil made with Renoavge. This is the only facial oil she’ll need as it toxic-free, cruely free, vegan, and helps smooth and firm fine lines & wrinkles, Visbily reduces dark spots & evens out skin tones, restores skin’s luminosity, reduces irritation and inflammation.

It’s time to make Mother’s Day a little more magical with The Maniscripting Journal.

– Advertisement –

This 90-Day journal will allow moms to dive deep into maniscripting their dreams & goals whether it’s personal, family or career related, this journal helps map out a 3 month journey also providing self-care rituals, and activation challenges. 

Babyfoot Peel

The Original Foot Peel will leave mom’s hardworking feet feeling smooth and soft, like a baby’s foot, after only one-hour. 16 natural extracts and oils are used in the making of Baby Foot to create that needed luxury, at-home spa experience. The addition of alicyclic acid effectively exfoliates and moisturizes the skin, softening your feet and reducing peeling over the preceding weeks.

Help mom relieve symptoms caused by eye strain so that she can feel more relaxed in order to achieve better sleep with  Sweet Night Eye Tech Mask.

This Eye Tech Mask is a mobile powered eye massager that Eye strain and soreness has been a common condition especially in this day-and-age where we spend a great deal of time in front of digital monitors and screens. 

Upgrade mom’s wardrobe with size-inclusive brand Democracy Clothing with their best-selling “Ab”solution® Fit Technology jeans.

– Advertisement –

Allowing her to enhance what “her mama gave her”, elevate her confidence and evolve her personal style.  

La Peony Clothing

Gift mom an eco-frienldy, sustainable, fair trade, female owned & founded brand that proudly supports women artisans globally the every lady uniform for every day, every travel, and every meeting. Their bestselling handcrafted Caroline jumpsuit is a wardrobe essential. 

Collagen Socks Trio

– Advertisement –

These cruelty free, clean ingredients, & 100% vegan collagen foot sheet masks will nourish & soften mom’s soles in just 15 minutes. Infused with vegan collagen, argan oil and floral extracts, your mother will be delivered the selfcare that she deserves.

Upgrade mom’s cosmetics & travel bag this Spring with Stephanie Johnson Cosmetic Case.

The Martha is a large cosmetic case with a roomy interior that boasts three removable compartments and a large clear zip wall pocket. Everything has a place and is easy to find. 

Westerlay Orchids – sometimes moms don’t want roses or flowers, that’s why these Box Of Orchids are perfect to add to any gift. 

Help mom make delicious breakfast and hearty dinners with Wildgrain

This is the first bake-from-frozen (and perfect) subscription gift for the mother who likes to cook and bake but doesn’t have the “prep” time. Wildgrain provides delicious & wholesome sourdough breads, fresh pastas, artisanal pastries and not to mention FREE croissants with every order. 

Let mom’s eyes do the talking with “Love agt First Sight” Collection by Natasha Moor Cosmetics.

Perfect four shade set with colors cleverly named, Confident (royal blue), Grounded (chocolate brown), Genuine (real-world teal), and Visionary (metallic gold). A cruelty-free and vegan pencil formulated with Vitamin E for a gentle application.  

Enhance a new mom’s breastfeeding journey with these modern Vegan Leather Breast Pump Bags and accessories that can be used beyond their reastfeeding journey with One Pumped Mama. 

The Little Mama necklace by Bubs & Sass is super cute, making it the perfect gift for new moms! Part of their stainless steel & waterproof collection available in gold and silver. 

Help transform mom’s shower session into her own invigorating spa with the VOESH Vitamin C Shower Filter. This Vitamin C shower filter brings the spa to Mom’s shower with skin-loving ingredients and pleasant scents that help her escape into her own little world.

Skin-loving ingredients include: Vitamin C to remove residual chlorine and other impurities from hard water to rejuvenate her skin and condition her hair; Vegan Probiotics to strengthen and regenerate the skin barrier and Oatmeal Powder to soften and soothe for healthy glowing skin.

Add to your mom’s reading list this year with Boy Moms: Collective Tales of Mothers and Sons  – founder and former CEO of TheBump.com Kara Forney, Boy Moms is a compilation of beautifully diverse stories from moms of boys that reflect the joys, challenges and changing dynamics of the Boy Mom experience today.

It speaks directly to the recipient personally, with uplifting stories from moms of sons that will inspire all Boy Moms! 

Help mom achieve her health & fitness goals with the NuShape Lipo Wrap. Created by a mother herself and healthy lifestyle expert, Jesscia Charles brings the benefits of red light therapy home with ​​The Original WEARABLE Red-Light Therapy.

With its best-selling device The Nushape Lipo Wrap, this high-tech company uses the power of Red-Light and Near-Infrared Therapy to deliver coveted solutions like fat loss, muscle toning, cellulite reduction, pain relief and many more wellness benefits TO THE BODY. Plus, it’s the first solution that offers SPOT REDUCTION of fat—just in time for bathing-suit season!

Become mom’s fave with Vine to Bar gift bundle.

By upcycling  the WellVine™️ Chardonnay Marc into delicious, earth-friendly dark chocolate, this chocuterie board is for the mama’s who love their wines and chocolates. An assortment of chocolate squares, nibs, and almonds; you can’t go wrong. 

Make family nights great again with What Do You Meme: Family Edition.  

Think outside the box with Tinggly’s Perfect For Her experience. Valued at $129, mom will get to pick from a plethora of experiences nationwide. She can book a solo trip or for two on her terms, her time.

Experiences range from relaxing spa treatments to culinary tastings, adrenaline adventures and more. The best part, there’s no expiration date. 

One of the main features of the third generation Internet is the decentralization of the network. And the heart or foundation of any decentralized network is the web 3 infrastructure (WI). At its core, WI is nothing more than a technological structure that contains various decentralized technologies, such as identity and storage systems, peer-to-peer networks and blockchain.

All this architecture serves to realize many goals in IT projects. In particular, it is with its participation that all kinds of dApps are developed that open up broad prospects for users, allowing them to exchange various data and values.

As we can see, WI is exactly the “trigger” that can lead to fundamental changes in various areas of human activity – economic, banking, humanitarian, medical, entertainment, etc. and so on. Consequently, blockchain infrastructure companies are able to carry out various infrastructure projects for various clients in any direction of their business.

Examples of infrastructure projects

As part of this review, we do not aim to list all the numerous web3 infrastructure solutions that companies providing such services can implement. It is enough to list just a few of them in order to understand how diverse the requests for infrastructure objectives are.

For example, in one of the requests, a client who was a provider of information from API interface requested the creation of an WI for their software product. Moreover, this infrastructure should be not only reliable, but also secure, as well as automatically scalable. According to another request, the client needed to set up a CI/CD system. As part of such a software solution, it was necessary to implement the principle of “continuous deployment and delivery” in order for the client’s processes to be subject to constant automatic monitoring.

– Advertisement –

One of the most demanded infrastructure projects is the development of WI, designed for Blockchain “Extract, Transform, Load” or ETL. Its popularity is explained by the fact that such a project contributes to a simpler understanding of blockchain theory.

And we already know that, in addition to the decentralized network, the applying of the blockchain methodology is also one of the main features of the third generation Internet. The solution of such infrastructure tasks entails a whole range of actions of a multifunctional team of specialists. Usually such work is carried out in several stages according to a previously developed action plan. It is a good practice to provide the client with the opportunity to track the implementation and completion of each stage of work, confirming this completion.

The forcefulness of the applied approaches

It should be noted that the implementation of such projects is of value not only for customers. The companies themselves that provide services for the development of WI also acquire certain bonuses. The most important of these bonuses is the invaluable experience that the development team gains.

In addition, working together with the client’s specialists, the development team becomes part of a joint team for the duration of the work. This fact allows them to quickly and efficiently make various decisions and fix problems that have arisen. Such a joint principle of work also allows to significantly reduce the cost of developing and implementing the project.

Addition, a big plus is the possibility of training the team’s specialists, precisely due to the implementation of the decisions made. And, of course, after the development is completed, the process of joint work does not stop, since the implemented project needs constant support and improvement.

We have only briefly covered some of the WI projects, however, even on the basis of this, we can conclude that the correct approach to the formation of a team of specialists plays a significant role in such work.

– Advertisement –

At the same time, the introduction of the DevOps methodology into the work play an important role. And this is not only the formation of a single multifunctional team and the elimination of functional barriers between narrowly focused specialists. It is important to follow one of the postulates of DevOps – the use of the IaC (Infrastructure as Code) approach.

Its advantage lies in the fact that the entire WI must be presented in the form of code, which means that its control and tuning must be programmatic. With this approach, the speed and accuracy of control and adjustments are ensured, and human influence on this process is minimized.

Loneliness can be an overwhelming feeling that can make us feel isolated and disconnected from the world around us. But the truth is, we are never truly alone in our struggles.

Each quote represents a different perspective on loneliness, but they all share a common thread: they acknowledge the pain and challenges of being lonely, and they offer a glimmer of hope and encouragement for those who are experiencing it.

Whether it’s through the words of a philosopher, a spiritual leader, or a fellow human being, the message is clear: you are not alone in your loneliness.

These quotes can serve as a source of motivation and inspiration to keep pushing through the difficult times. They offer the hope that things will get better, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

So the next time you feel lonely or disconnected, remember these quotes and take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. There are countless others who have felt the same way, and there will be countless others who will feel the same in the future. But through our shared humanity and our ability to connect with one another, we can find solace and support in our struggles.

1. “Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering, and it’s all over much too soon.” – Woody Allen
2. “The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” – Mother Teresa
3. “The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life’s cruelest irony.” -Douglas Coupland
4. “Sometimes being surrounded by everyone is the loneliest, because you’ll realize you have no one to turn to.” – Soraya

5. “Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.” -Dag Hammarskjold
6. “A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.” -Mandy Hale
7. “We feel alone, and in this we are connected.” —Leo Babauta
8. “The loneliness you feel is actually an opportunity to reconnect with others and yourself.” —Maxime Lagacé
9. “Great men are like eagles, and build their nest on some lofty solitude.” —Arthur Schopenhauer

10. “Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone, and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.” —Pau Tillich
11. “There’s nothing abnormal about loneliness.” —Paula Stokes
12. “The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which makes you lonely.” —Lorraine Hansberry
13. “Loneliness is proof that your innate search for connection is intact.” —Martha Beck
14. “There is something immaculate about loneliness which only lonely people can understand.” —Munia Khan

15. “Sometimes you have to stand alone just to make sure you still can.” – Unknown
16. “It takes nothing to join the crowd. It takes everything to stand alone.” —Hans F. Hansen
17. “Loneliness can be conquered only by those who can bear solitude.” —Paul Tillich
18. “I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” —Oscar Wilde
19. “Loneliness is not lack of company, loneliness is lack of purpose.” – Guillermo Maldonado

20. “People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” – Kim Culbertson
21. “It is better to be lonely than allow people who are not going anywhere keep you
from your destiny.” – Joel Osteen
22. “I’ve noticed that loneliness gets stronger when we try to face it down but gets weaker when we simply ignore it.” – Paulo Coelho
23. “When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death-ourselves.” – Eda J. LeShan
24. “Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone to experience, appreciate, and love yourself.” – Robert Tew

25. “There are worse things than feeling alone. Things like being with someone and still feeling alone.” – Unknown
26. “Loneliness is painful. But suffering is not wrong in and of itself. It’s part of the human experience, and in a way brings us closer to all people.” – Juliette Fay
27. “You have to go ahead, even if no one goes with you.” – Lailah Gifty Akita
28. “Make the time to be alone. Your best ideas live within solitude.” – Robin Sharma
29. “The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care.” – Hugh MacLeod

30. “The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” – Michel de Montaigne
31. “The pain of loneliness is one that can never truly be understood. It’s like being trapped in a room with no doors or windows.” – Unknown
32. “Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.” – Henry Rollins
33. “Loneliness is not a lack of social interaction, but rather a lack of meaningful connections.” – Unknown
34. “Loneliness is a lack of intimacy, not a lack of company.” – Richard Bach

35. “Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space.” – Janet Fitch
36. “We’re all lonely for something we don’t know we’re lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we’ve never even met?” – David Foster Wallace
37. “The greatest thing in the world is to have someone to share your life with, but it’s also important to learn to be happy on your own.” – Unknown
38. “The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
39. “I am not alone because loneliness is always with me.” – Unknown

40. “It’s better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.” – Marilyn Monroe

As a business owner, you recognize the importance of ensuring your staff is current on all regulations. However, onboarding new staff can be a daunting task. There is so much information to cover that covers processes related to their fundamental role and ensures they understand and comply with all applicable laws and regulations. 

Fortunately, we have a few tips for how companies can streamline this critical step in onboarding without cutting corners to ensure your employees are aware of existing rules! By following a workflow process using the latest technology solutions available, you can ensure that your staff has received up-to-date training fast – read on to learn more about how this system works.

Identify the Most Important Regulations for Your Industry and Staff

As an industry professional, staying on top of the most important regulations for your business and your employees is crucial. Education and compliance are vital to upholding legal and ethical practices. Depending on your industry, industry-specific limitations may apply to your company. 

Additionally, there are essential labor laws that apply to all businesses regardless of their specialty. Examples include minimum wage requirements, overtime rules, and work-hour restrictions. Ensuring that your staff knows these regulations can help prevent potential legal issues and fines down the road. This is something that compliance training for new employees can help with.

Prioritizing compliance keeps your business running smoothly and contributes to your reputation as a responsible and trustworthy business.

Develop an Onboarding Checklist That Includes a Review of Those Regulations

– Advertisement –

As an essential part of any comprehensive onboarding process, it’s crucial to have a checklist that covers all the necessary ground. With that in mind, your onboarding checklist must include a review of the regulations that impact your new employees’ role. Depending on the industry you’re in or the position you’re hiring for, specific rules and regulations may need to be adhered to. 

Failure to comply with these regulations could result in costly fines or even legal troubles. Reviewing these regulations in your onboarding process ensures that your new hires are aware of their responsibilities and obligations from day one. This will help them start on the right foot and set the stage for a successful relationship between your organization and its newest members.

Provide Training Materials to Employees on the Specific Regulations

Companies need to provide their employees with thorough training on specific regulations related to their industry. By doing so, employees can better understand their roles and responsibilities when complying with regulations. 

Effective training materials should provide an overview of the regulations and clearly outline the steps employees need to take to ensure compliance. These materials should also be easily accessible and available to all employees, so they can refer to them whenever necessary. Investing in comprehensive training materials can help companies avoid regulatory violations and create a culture of compliance within their organization.

Ensure Your Onboarding Process Is Up-To-Date

Staying on top of legal compliance, including the onboarding process, is critical for any company. From changes in employment laws to updates in industry regulations, it’s essential to ensure that your onboarding process is up-to-date with any new information. 

Regular reviews will help ensure compliance and allow you to fine-tune your process and make it more efficient. With an efficient and compliant onboarding process in place, new hires will feel supported and ready to contribute to your company’s success from day one. 

– Advertisement –

So keep those regular reviews scheduled and stay ahead of any changes that may affect your onboarding process.

Maintain Records of Regulatory Compliance Training and Document Completion

Regulatory compliance training is an essential component of any organization’s success. Keeping up-to-date with the latest regulations and rules ensures your employees are knowledgeable and equipped to perform their jobs safely and efficiently. Documentation is also crucial in maintaining regulatory compliance. 

By documenting the completion of training, you ensure that the necessary information is readily available when needed. This information can be invaluable in an audit or legal dispute. In short, keeping accurate records of regulatory compliance training is essential and can be a lifesaver for your organization in the long run.

Utilize Automated Processes Where Possible to Streamline the Onboarding Process and Reduce Errors

In today’s fast-paced business world, time is of the essence. When it comes to onboarding new employees, every moment counts. That’s why more and more companies are turning to automated processes to streamline the process and reduce errors. By leveraging technology, businesses can free up HR staff to focus on higher-value tasks while saving time and money in the long run. 

– Advertisement –

From digital applications to online training modules, automated onboarding has the potential to transform the way we welcome new team members. So if you’re looking for an effective way to improve your onboarding process, it may be time to explore the world of automation.

To sum it all up, following the steps outlined in this blog post can help you ensure that your staff and new hires are consistently updated on the latest regulations. By going through this checklist before hiring new employees, you’ll be able to onboard them quickly and securely, knowing that no one is breaking any laws or risking fines.

Casino-X is an online casino platform that offers a wide range of games and bonuses to players. The website is user-friendly, with a sleek and modern design, making it easy to navigate and play.

One of the main benefits of playing at カジノエックス is the variety of bonuses that are available to players. These bonuses can help to boost your winnings and enhance your overall gaming experience. Some of the most popular bonuses include no deposit bonuses, deposit bonuses, rebate bonuses, and cash back bonuses. In this guide, we will explore each of these bonuses in detail and provide tips on how to maximize your winnings.

カジノエックス No Deposit Bonus

A no deposit bonus is a type of bonus offered by online casinos that does not require players to make a deposit in order to receive it. Instead, players can claim the bonus simply by creating an account with the casino. To claim a no deposit bonus at カジノエックス, players must first register an account with the site. Once the account is verified, the bonus will be credited to the player’s account.

Like all bonuses, no deposit bonuses come with certain wagering requirements and restrictions. Players must meet these requirements before they can withdraw any winnings from the bonus. These requirements typically involve playing through the bonus a certain number of times or within a specified time period.

カジノエックス入金不要ボーナス45ドル can be used on any game on the site. This bonus also comes with a 30x wagering requirement.

Deposit Bonus of Casino X

– Advertisement –

A deposit bonus is a type of bonus offered by online casinos that requires players to make a deposit in order to receive it. These bonuses usually come in the form of a percentage of the deposit amount, and the bonus funds can be used to play games on the site.

To claim a deposit bonus at カジノエックス, players must first make a qualifying deposit using one of the accepted payment methods. Once the deposit is made, the bonus funds will be credited to the player’s account.

Not only on your first deposit, カジノエックス also gives you a bonus up to your fifth deposit, and you can get $3,950 in bonus money when you make all five maximum deposits. 

Like all bonuses, deposit bonuses come with certain wagering requirements and restrictions. Players must meet these requirements before they can withdraw any winnings from the bonus. These requirements typically involve playing through the bonus and deposit amount a certain number of times or within a specified time period.

At Casino-X, players can currently receive a 200% deposit bonus up to €50. This means that if a player deposits €25, they will receive an additional €50 in bonus funds, giving them a total of €75 to play with. 

カジノエックス VIP Loyalty Program Bonus Offer

What’s impressive about Casino X is not just the welcome bonus offered to attract new registrants, but also the rewards given to existing players. カジノエックス has a VIP Loyalty Program in place, which provides both cashback and rebate bonuses to its members.

Rebate Bonus of Casino X

– Advertisement –

The rebate bonus is a system that refunds a portion of a player’s bets regardless of their wins or losses. Since the rebate is provided regardless of the outcome, the refund rate is lower than that of the cashback bonus. However, the more a player bets, the more this attractive bonus accumulates. The rebate bonus also varies in refund rate depending on the player’s status, and players with gold status or higher can withdraw their rebate bonus at any time.

Cash Back Bonus of カジノエックス

The cashback bonus is a system that refunds a portion of a player’s losses. The refund rate varies depending on the player’s status, whether the games played were table games, live games, or sports betting. Initially, players can withdraw their cashback bonus once a month, and they must deposit an amount equal to the bonus to receive it. However, as players reach the highest status, they can withdraw their cashback bonus once a week without needing to make additional deposits.

Final Thoughts Of Casino X Bonus

Bonuses are a great way to boost your winnings and enhance your overall gaming experience. Whether you prefer no deposit bonuses, deposit bonuses, rebate bonuses, or cash back bonuses, there are plenty of options to choose from at Casino-X.

Casino X is one of the 私のお気に入りのオンラインカジノ , at カジノエックス players can enjoy a wide range of bonuses and promotions designed to enhance their gaming experience. By following the tips and strategies outlined in this guide, you can maximize your bonus winnings and make the most of your time at Casino-X.

Casino-X is an online casino platform that offers a wide range of games and bonuses to players. The website is user-friendly, with a sleek and modern design, making it easy to navigate and play.

One of the main benefits of playing at カジノエックス is the variety of bonuses that are available to players. These bonuses can help to boost your winnings and enhance your overall gaming experience. Some of the most popular bonuses include no deposit bonuses, deposit bonuses, rebate bonuses, and cash back bonuses. In this guide, we will explore each of these bonuses in detail and provide tips on how to maximize your winnings.

カジノエックス No Deposit Bonus

A no deposit bonus is a type of bonus offered by online casinos that does not require players to make a deposit in order to receive it. Instead, players can claim the bonus simply by creating an account with the casino. To claim a no deposit bonus at カジノエックス, players must first register an account with the site. Once the account is verified, the bonus will be credited to the player’s account.

Like all bonuses, no deposit bonuses come with certain wagering requirements and restrictions. Players must meet these requirements before they can withdraw any winnings from the bonus. These requirements typically involve playing through the bonus a certain number of times or within a specified time period.

カジノエックス入金不要ボーナス45ドル can be used on any game on the site. This bonus also comes with a 30x wagering requirement.

Deposit Bonus of Casino X

– Advertisement –

A deposit bonus is a type of bonus offered by online casinos that requires players to make a deposit in order to receive it. These bonuses usually come in the form of a percentage of the deposit amount, and the bonus funds can be used to play games on the site.

To claim a deposit bonus at カジノエックス, players must first make a qualifying deposit using one of the accepted payment methods. Once the deposit is made, the bonus funds will be credited to the player’s account.

Not only on your first deposit, カジノエックス also gives you a bonus up to your fifth deposit, and you can get $3,950 in bonus money when you make all five maximum deposits. 

Like all bonuses, deposit bonuses come with certain wagering requirements and restrictions. Players must meet these requirements before they can withdraw any winnings from the bonus. These requirements typically involve playing through the bonus and deposit amount a certain number of times or within a specified time period.

At Casino-X, players can currently receive a 200% deposit bonus up to €50. This means that if a player deposits €25, they will receive an additional €50 in bonus funds, giving them a total of €75 to play with. 

カジノエックス VIP Loyalty Program Bonus Offer

What’s impressive about Casino X is not just the welcome bonus offered to attract new registrants, but also the rewards given to existing players. カジノエックス has a VIP Loyalty Program in place, which provides both cashback and rebate bonuses to its members.

Rebate Bonus of Casino X

– Advertisement –

The rebate bonus is a system that refunds a portion of a player’s bets regardless of their wins or losses. Since the rebate is provided regardless of the outcome, the refund rate is lower than that of the cashback bonus. However, the more a player bets, the more this attractive bonus accumulates. The rebate bonus also varies in refund rate depending on the player’s status, and players with gold status or higher can withdraw their rebate bonus at any time.

Cash Back Bonus of カジノエックス

The cashback bonus is a system that refunds a portion of a player’s losses. The refund rate varies depending on the player’s status, whether the games played were table games, live games, or sports betting. Initially, players can withdraw their cashback bonus once a month, and they must deposit an amount equal to the bonus to receive it. However, as players reach the highest status, they can withdraw their cashback bonus once a week without needing to make additional deposits.

Final thoughts of Casino X Bonus

Bonuses are a great way to boost your winnings and enhance your overall gaming experience. Whether you prefer no deposit bonuses, deposit bonuses, rebate bonuses, or cash back bonuses, there are plenty of options to choose from at Casino-X.

Casino X is one of the 私のお気に入りのオンラインカジノ , at カジノエックス players can enjoy a wide range of bonuses and promotions designed to enhance their gaming experience. By following the tips and strategies outlined in this guide, you can maximize your bonus winnings and make the most of your time at Casino-X.

“Sexless marriages are in the millions. It’s an epidemic,” says Dr. Doug Weiss, the psychologist who coined the term ‘intimacy anorexia’. Anorexia is an eating disorder in which you starve yourself of food, and intimacy anorexia is where you starve your partner of intimacy and are deprived of it yourself too.

Before we read about this addiction, its characteristics, impact, and recovery, it’s important to remember that addiction is a condition in which a person is unable to stop using a substance or engaging in a behavior. They need help and support in order to heal. A spouse of an anorexic shared in Intimacy Anorexia, a book written by Weiss, “My spouse does not offer, initiate, or invite” intimacy. Let’s understand why.

What Are The Characteristics Of Intimacy Anorexia?

First, here’s the intimacy anorexia definition: It is an addiction where you actively withhold emotional, spiritual, and sexual intimacy from your long-term/committed partner. Most of what we know about this addiction is derived from Dr. Weiss’s decades-long research and his book on the subject. Based on it, here are some characteristics of intimacy anorexia:

• This addiction gets worse if left unaddressed
• Intimacy anorexia typically hinders the emotional development and well-being of the addict
• It entails extreme fear of rejection. So even though they want to experience intimacy, they can’t
• It aims to maintain emotional distance from the partner through deliberate and active withholding of intimacy
• Only an anorexic’s spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend (or maybe their kids) suffers the impact of intimacy anorexia
• It’s a repetitive behavior
• It is not defined by gender
• It can overlap with a person’s compulsive sexual behavior and both need to be worked on simultaneously

This list could also serve as an intimacy anorexia test. Weiss says that an anorexic “incurs loss after loss, but instead of getting sober to what is happening, they get more committed to the addiction.”

As per a study in 2022, 20.4 million Americans are living in sexless marriages, and 74.2% of these spouses end up divorcing each other. Not all of them experience intimacy anorexia, but it’s worth noting that lack of physical intimacy in relationships is quite common. So, if you’re facing a lack of marital intimacy, you’re not alone.

What are the Symptoms Of Intimacy Anorexia?

An addict of intimacy anorexia feels unsafe with the one they are in a relationship with. Any form of intimacy is perceived as a threat and a loss of control. We have compiled 20 symptoms of intimacy anorexia and how they manifest in a person.

1. No one is as busy as intimacy anorexics

They keep themselves busy in actual or mindless activities. Anything else is more important than their boo and building a healthy relationship with them. Tanya, an anorexic, shared in Weiss’s book, “I am actively anorexic when I sabotage occasions for emotional intimacy by paying more attention to the children, work, housework, television, or any other distraction.”

Neighborhood meetings, volunteering activities, hours and hours on their phone, video games, or television, passion projects, visits to family and friends, travel – they will do it all to avoid intimacy with you.

2. The reality is distorted and they don’t trust their loved one

They create the worst fantasies about their other half and according to Weiss’s book, they might think:

• “My partner is only being nice because they want sex”
• “They are buttering me up for money”
• “This is a scam, don’t trust them”
• “They’re going to hurt me”
• “They don’t care about me”

3. This helps them justify their behavior and maintain their positive image

Since the partner is clearly ‘bad’ or is romantically manipulating them, the anorexic firmly believes that they are doing the right thing by hurting them emotionally and denying intimacy.

• They willfully misunderstand the other person’s intent
• They become the victim in this scenario
• They believe that flaws are weaknesses and must appear perfect
• They may keep busy with outside activities that are warm and caring, hence, no one thinks they could be harming their family to this degree

Virginia, a person dealing with decreased intimacy from their spouse, shared in the book, “Everybody thinks my spouse is a saint because he is a music teacher. What they don’t know is that he will not even help his own children with their music lessons at home.”

Related Reading: Sexless Marriage Effect On Husband – 9 Ways It Takes A Toll On Him

4. They are terrified of rejection

An anorexic’s spouse shared in the book, “My husband withholds emotional and sexual intimacy when he perceives that I am rejecting him.” Avoiding intimacy is one of the key personality traits of intimacy anorexia.

A great deal of human behavior is influenced by the desire to avoid rejection as per a study. For a person with intimacy anorexia, it is the driving force behind their intimacy issues. 

5. They must stay in control

People afflicted by this addiction believe the more they can control all the internal and external variables, the better they can protect themselves. Because if they lose control, they risk vulnerability. As a result,

• They may pout and manipulate to get their way
• The other partner’s needs and feelings don’t matter
• They don’t compromise – they will talk, touch, have sex, spend quality time, address your needs, make gestures of love, etc. only when they want to

Related Reading: 13 Tell-Tale Signs Of Manipulation In A Relationship

6. One of the saddest intimacy anorexia symptoms is that they punish their partner

In an extreme case, Nancy, an anorexic’s romantic mate, shares in the book, “He stopped talking to me for about two years and wouldn’t even answer a question about the kids.”

• They use shame, anger, and silent treatment to control their significant other
• They choose to stay angry or shame their loved one rather than resolve the issue
• This can turn abusive and if you’re at the receiving end of it, you must immediately get professional help – it could be for both legal and mental health purposes

7. The person with intimacy anorexia blames the partner for everything

An addict of this condition shared in the book, “I find something that she is not doing well around the house and use that as the reason that I am upset.” Some people create situations where they can avoid sexual intimacy, and then blame their mate for not wanting sex. They would say, “You are always frustrated with me, so I don’t feel like having sex with you.” The reason for the justified frustration is swiftly overlooked as they say no to sex.

Related Reading: 8 Ways Blame-Shifting In A Relationship Harms It

8. They make their partners look crazy

“When we talk, she will not look at me and she likes to play solitaire on her phone while we are in a discussion,” an affected partner shared in Weiss’s book. What are the characteristics of intimacy anorexia that make the patient’s partner look crazy? Here they are:

• The anorexic initiates intimacy and then withdraws suddenly, leaving the other person confused and frustrated
• They might promise intimacy and make plans for it and then cancel at the last minute
• They refuse to understand why their significant other is hurt – any empathy appears dangerous to them
• They keep up their good reputation on the outside, hence, the partner looks like the crazy wife/husband, making it impossible for the latter to understand how to deal with intimacy anorexia

9. They could have compulsive sexual tendencies

In fact, Dr. Doug Weiss noticed patterns of intimacy anorexia while he was working with “sex addicts”. He realized that a sex addict could be addicted to intimacy anorexia as well. It’s important to note that sex addiction is a disputed condition since the book was published, but here are the traits of a person with compulsive sexual behavior:

• They might enjoy porn extensively or have an addiction to porn
• They have had tons of casual sex before their present relationship
• Weiss says, “For the intimacy anorexics, sex with a fantasy world of porn is perfect since it is without a relationship.”
• They might cheat in the relationship multiple times
• Contributing factors to this compulsion could be trauma, sexual abuse, and a family history of violence
• Sex compulsion and intimacy anorexia must heal simultaneously for complete recovery

Related Reading: When To Walk Away From A Sexless Marriage – Know These 11 Signs

10. They may have sex but will withhold sexual intimacy

A husband/wife avoiding intimacy and withholding sex in a relationship becomes the norm. But clearly, they are not averse to sex. So, this is what they do:

• They actively discourage or sabotage intimate situations with their partner, like romantic dinners, a sensual dance, holding hands, a deep conversation, etc
• They will create a negative association with sex for the partner to stop seeking intimacy
• Sex is an obligation, they don’t allow themselves to have an emotional experience with their sexual mate
• They could go months and years without having sex in the relationship
• They create the most inventive ways to avoid sex – pretending to be sick, working extra hours, suddenly remembering that the kids need help with the homework, or that a neighbor needs some work done in their yard, etc.

11. What is intimacy anorexia? Withholding of love from your partner

This means they have the love they know their partner needs but they deny it deliberately. “I love you” and its many forms, and gestures are hardly spoken or practiced in this relationship. There’s active withholding of emotional intimacy no matter how much their other half explains, requests, talks, understands and begs. The latter keeps wondering about the intimacy anorexia causes and how they can work on overcoming this barrier.

12. They withhold money from their partner

A sign of a controlling husband/wife is not trusting your spouse with money. Financial trust is a show of vulnerability, after all. So, what are the symptoms of intimacy anorexia that affect their partner’s financial well-being? Here they are:

• They keep a check on how much the other person spends
• Even if the expenditure is justified, they find it unnecessary
• They might spend on anything they want but they don’t want their partner to

Related Reading: What Is Financial Infidelity And How To Recognize It

13. They withhold their authentic selves

“If I want to know how he feels about something, I have to listen to him talk to his mom on the phone,” shares an anorexic’s partner in Doug Weiss’s book while discussing her experience of lack of intimacy in the marriage.

Their politics, their passions and hobbies, their childhood, what hurts them, what makes them happy – their partner is kept away from their real selves. This is an echo of emotional anorexia, where a person starves themselves of love and can’t receive nourishment from anyone, which, in turn, affects their partner.

14. They withhold spiritual intimacy

The religious/spiritual faith of someone who has intimacy anorexia is too personal and they can’t afford to share that with their romantic mate. They also don’t wish to know what their partner’s faith means to them. The anorexics make sure they don’t pray together to skip emotional intimacy. Ironically, prayers for marriage restoration along with therapy is exactly what a couple like this needs.

15. They don’t express concern or curiosity

Their partner could win a Nobel Prize and the intimacy anorexic will not get to know. They both live like roommates and have emotionally disconnected lives and only interact when it comes to household tasks, food, bills, kids, etc.

The worst part is, if their significant other is sick, the anorexic will not take care of them efficiently or at all. There is no comfort provided, and no worries soothed. They clearly don’t know how to deal with intimacy anorexia and their urgent need to stay safe wins out here as well.

Related Reading: 15 Signs Of Emotional Neglect In A Marriage

16. They withhold compliments

Words of affirmation is a love language and the anorexic is aware of their mate’s need to hear a few sweet words. But they can’t bring themselves to do it. They are addicted to their emotional withdrawal and are unable to reach out. Strangely, what causes intimacy anorexia to get worse sometimes is when their better half compliments them (the anorexic) sincerely.

17. They criticize their partner to create emotional distance

Research shows that people feel more at liberty to be overly aggressive with people they love the most (or those who love us) — like arguing with a spouse who forgot to pick up laundry. An anorexic shared in Weiss’s book, “I can be hypercritical of people around me if I don’t feel that they are living up to my standards, and I punish them with rejection.” This translates to constant relationship bullying too.

• The smallest error is pointed out, exaggerated, fought over, and not forgiven
• They bring up the other person’s flaws in future conflicts too
• The aim of this toxic behavior is to wear down the partner’s spirit so they never approach the anorexic for intimacy

18. This behavior is ONLY for their partner

“Intimacy anorexics have intimacy, actually most anorexics make great friends, volunteers, coaches, coworkers, just not great intimate spouses prior to recovery,” Weiss suggests in his book. Imagine seeing your spouse being nice to everyone else except you. “I just want to be treated like a stranger,” an affected spouse heartbreakingly shared in the book.

Related Reading: How To React When Your Spouse Says Hurtful Things?

19. Their love is conditional and unrealistic

They think: “If you don’t hurt, reject, disappoint me, I’ll offer affection.” This is an impossible feat in a relationship. Pain and frictions are inevitable in a long-term relationship. But they can’t handle that and need perfection and control. This creates a consequence that’s similar to emotional anorexia where the person is self-deprived of love.

20. They are irrationally independent

Asking for help is seen as being vulnerable; it threatens them. So even when they need help from their mate, they don’t reach out. It’s lonely to live that way. An anorexic shared in the book, “I don’t need anyone to meet my needs. I can take care of myself.” Yet another similarity with emotional anorexia.

Related Reading: How To Balance Independence In A Relationship?

What Are The Causes Of Intimacy Anorexia?

According to Weiss, this structure of withdrawal was “originally designed to keep others out but over time it has grown to keep them in. Even when anorexics want to join, connect, or even emote, they feel stuck, frozen, or unavailable.” The causes of intimacy anorexia are:

1. Faulty attachment style

The early childhood of an anorexic may have had a) a parent who didn’t attune to their specific emotional needs, b) or a toxic parent who was angry and judgmental, c) or someone who was emotionally withdrawn, d) or a parent who abandoned them or died. The child’s heart never feels safe with their primary caregiver, there’s no consistency or reliability, so they learn to mistrust people of that gender in a romantic capacity as well. The adult anorexic is scared of rejection/mockery/lack of validation/abandonment.

Related Reading: Avoidant Attachment: Causes And How it Affects Relationships

2. Lack of role models for intimacy

Weiss stated in his book, “A child whose parent(s) has intimacy anorexia and sees no care toward each other nor any real connectedness or closeness can become anorexic.” Having such role models is what causes intimacy anorexia in some people.

3. Sexual trauma is one of the intimacy anorexia causes

The anorexic, after going through sexual abuse/rape, feels damaged and no longer thinks the world is a safe space. So, they protect themselves fiercely. They fear being vulnerable, they fear being hurt again. Clearly, trauma of sexual abuse brings a lifetime of intimacy issues.

4. Compulsive sexual behavior

Though sex addiction is not the right term for it, some people might be overly dependent on sex in order to deal with certain traumas; they keep this part of themselves hidden away from their partners by indulging in illicit affairs. Their compulsive sexual behavior causes them to withdraw emotionally from the relationship.

Related Reading: Signs That You Are Married To A Sexaholic

What triggers intimacy anorexia in daily life?

What is intimacy anorexia triggered by? You should know this if you’re dating an emotionally unavailable woman/man. Here’s what can make someone who has this addiction withdraw further from their partner:

• When they are perceived to be flawed
• When they lose control, for real or in their imagination
• When they are perceived as sexual beings by their partner
• When they are stressed
• Whenever there’s a bid for intimacy, like sexual/physical affection, quality time, getting to know something personal about each other, seeing the partner express love/praise/gratitude, etc.

Impact On The Partner Of An Intimacy Anorexic

“I feel that my mental, sexual, spiritual, and emotional well-being has been seriously damaged,” shared Rachel, an affected partner, in Intimacy Anorexia. Here are some of the consequences of intimacy anorexia on the spouse/partner of the addict:

• They no longer have loving, fulfilling relationships with others; they learn to put up walls in order to not need anything
• They may gain weight, become physically and mentally ill
• They become bitter and mean because they have been starved of love and then made to look crazy
• It lowers their self-esteem. They start to think something is wrong with them, after being rejected and criticized repeatedly
• In the event of a separation, it makes them not trust future partners as well because they couldn’t trust the most intimate relationship in their life for so long
• They don’t feel seen, validated, worthy, respected, appreciated, and valued
• They blame themselves: “I must be terrible at sex”, “I must be ugly hence she can’t stand to look at me”
• They could be traumatized to the extent that their relationship/marriage makes them depressed or struggle with anxiety
• They could be extremely lonely and may not be able to talk about this with anyone
• They get resentful and start to express anger in various ways
• They feel needy even though their needs are valid
• Their body image gets affected as the anorexic makes them feel unwanted and not desirable
• They are sexually frustrated
• They are forever confused because of the promises and the mixed signals
• They are love-deprived, care-deprived, and touch-deprived
• They feel hurt when their partner decides to punish them through silent treatments, lack of sex, anger, etc. They stop seeking intimacy

Pat, an affected spouse, said in the book, “My husband has only told me he loves me one time in the past eight months. He rolls his eyes if I ask for a hug or kiss and makes me feel defective if I want or need any form of affection. He is starving me emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually!”

Related Reading: 9 Signs Of Lack Of Empathy In Relationships And 6 Ways To Cope With It

What are the ways to cope if you’re the partner of an intimacy anorexic?

If you’ve both decided to heal your relationship, then here are a few things you need to remind yourself of:

• There are legitimate reasons for your partner’s sexual anorexia
• If they are withholding sex in a relationship, remember that it is not a comment on your personality, desirability, and worth
• You did not cause your partner’s addiction
• If they do the recovery work, your relationship can thrive
• Stay tethered to your reality
• Seek professional help – individual as well as couple’s therapy
• Talk to the people you trust without shame/guilt

Recovery For Intimacy Anorexia

For the anorexic, intimacy is terrifying. But according to Weiss, intimacy is the only solution for them to recover. Sobriety will look like an active initiation of emotional, spiritual, and sexual intimacy toward their spouse. They will make promises, they will change for a bit, and then relapse. It’s okay, healing will not be, and never is, linear. Let’s read about how to deal with intimacy anorexia.

• Doug Weiss suggests 3 daily activities: Both partners must acknowledge two random emotions (to get familiar with emotional expression), give one compliment to each other (this can also include romantic things to say to your husband/wife), and pray together (or do any activity that bonds you together)
• Remind yourself that relationship/marriage intimacy is possible
• Monitor sabotaging behavior and the ongoing intimacy anorexia symptoms
• Create a sexual agreement. Once you establish a frequency, discuss the consequences of not following through
• Admit that you are an addict of intimacy/sexual anorexia
• Admit you need help, admit lack of control, admit your flaws, admit every time you relapse
• You HAVE to keep attending meetings of intimacy anorexia support groups – you can’t recover on your own
• Positive affirmations can help you recode your brain that currently has negative thoughts about the world, yourself, and your partner. Eg.: “If I feel emotional pain, I give myself permission to talk to a safe person about it.” Or “I am able to experience my feelings today”
• Get a sponsor. Call this person whenever you have the urge to withhold or when you’re actively withholding intimacy from your partner
• Get a therapist who doesn’t just validate you but helps you take responsibility for your actions
• Be honest about your intimacy/sexual anorexia journey, and document all parts of it
• Gauge who you have hurt, make a list, apologize to the people you’ve hurt, and make amends sincerely and without expectation – this especially includes your significant other
• Remember that you deserve love despite the hurt you’ve caused
• Know that you’re continuing to heal through exposure to other addicts and their stories; your trauma patterns are changing
• Work on allowing yourself to trust and love people
• You’ll notice you’re recovering when this happens — You feel disappointed or rejected, and instead of criticizing your partner or withholding intimacy, you connect with them and try to resolve the issue
• You’ll learn how to talk to each other gradually, and you’ll be more intimate than ever as you keep healing

You had the practice to become the old person for years, now you need to practice to become the new person, every day. You got this.

NOTE: Weiss suggests that this condition can only affect married couples. But I’ve used the word ‘partner’ instead of ‘spouse’ in many places to denote the people who are committed to one another and choose to not marry due to various valid reasons or cannot marry due to homophobic laws

Attachment Styles Psychology: How You Were Raised Affects Relationships

How To Deal With A Gaslighting Spouse?

What Is Stonewalling And How To Deal With It?

When it comes to the traits we want in a partner, “emotionally unavailable” is never on the list. So why do so many of us end up dating not just one emotionally unavailable person, but a series of them?

In today’s new video, I get to the heart of what goes on when we keep finding ourselves getting stuck on emotionally unavailable people, and how we can break the pattern and find someone who’s ready for a relationship.



Get The Text Messages That Lead Your Love Life in a New Direction.
Learn More About The Momentum Texts . . .
TAP HERE

Matthew Hussey:

When you say that you want to find love, how serious are you? I recently had someone come to me about a guy she had met. This woman is in her thirties. She is very serious, she says, about finding love, about having a family and about building a life with someone. It’s something she wants the most in her life right now where she’s at. The guy that she described having met on a night out with her friends who is hot and charming and they have chemistry and she has a great time with, and did I mention he’s hot, has one small detail that made me take a pause. He’s 21.

Now. When she was asking me for advice with this guy, the first thing I wanted to remind her of was her goals. You want to find love, you want to get married and you want to have a family. Now, when she described this guy and the things that were causing her some anxieties, one of them was that she had talked about the fact that she wants marriage and kids and he hadn’t thought about it, which of course he hadn’t. He’s 21. It didn’t stop him aggressively pursuing her and asking for a lot of her time and her energy, and it didn’t stop her from wanting to give that time and that energy because, did I mention, he’s hot?

Now here’s the thing. We all have things in life that we really want. We have goals that we say we’re serious about. If we’re really serious about a goal, we have to ask ourselves is the way I’m spending my time, the things I’m investing in and the decisions I’m making in line with that goal? Is there a congruency there? Because if there isn’t, then we are out of integrity with ourselves. We are out of integrity with what we are looking for.

So there’s a level of honesty that has to happen with ourselves. This woman who came to me isn’t right now behaving like a person who is serious about her goal. Because dating a 21-year-old, regardless of what a mature head he has on his shoulders is unlikely to produce the result that she’s looking for. And it’s not even like he’s a 20-year old who’s saying, I want all the same things as you, and on the same timeframe. This is a 21-year old who’s saying, I hadn’t really thought about it. I know that there will be comments from people who say, “Oh my God, I can’t believe she’s entertaining a 21-year-old,” but everyone has had their version of this at some point. It could be someone who lives in a place that makes it practically impossible to have a relationship, and yet we keep talking to them.

It could be someone who’s married. It could be someone who’s a drug addict. We all have our version of dating a dead end for us. What I’m interested in is less so the specific details of this story and more the psychology behind why it is we seem to do things that clearly are not in line with what we are really looking for for ourselves. Now in her case, having spoken to her, I believe that there was this really high degree of a couple of things going on.

One, this person being young and attractive felt very validating for her. Two, it felt like energy in her love life. And when we want something to happen in that part of our life and we really just want to feel like there’s any momentum, something, then the first sign of attention we get we’re likely to pounce on without evaluating whether it’s actually right for our goals. We’re just happy that there’s a story going on in our love lives right now. There’s something happening that I can talk about because my worst fear is that there’s nothing to talk about. And so we entertain it, and I believe that’s why she was entertaining it. And I think that there’s a tremendous fear for her in feeling like she’s standing still. And the reason that having no one in her life would feel like she’s standing still is because she’s taking having someone in her life as a sign of progress.

So there’s an element of needing to redefine what progress is. Whenever I’m coaching someone and they keep saying that everyone I date is emotionally unavailable, of course the response is to look at that person and say, “Well, what’s happening here with you? Why do you keep choosing emotionally unavailable people?” And on one hand you could say that’s because she’s emotionally unavailable. There’s a world where I’m coaching someone and they keep dating unavailable people because it’s kind of a way of not having to really let someone in, not having to truly be vulnerable with someone and open themselves up to that because as long as someone’s not available, I don’t ever really have to have you know me because I know it’s not going to go anywhere anyway.

But I don’t believe that’s what’s happening in this case. I think that with this woman that came to me, if I gave her a perfectly compatible 35-year-old that she thought was attractive, that she got on well with and of course was age appropriate, she would jump on that relationship. However, in the absence of that, she’s too willing to entertain anything that can give her a short-term hit of feeling good. There is a fear of delaying that gratification of saying no to something that might feel good right now, perhaps because there’s a scarcity mindset behind it.

I don’t want to take this for granted because I don’t know where the next one is going to come from. This person’s really attractive, so I’m blinded by that. Maybe the next person that comes along won’t be this attractive. So there’s a lot of scarcity mindset going on there. And of course, just the excitement and the good feelings of doing something that feels good. We’ve all been in that place before, just doing something because it feels good without questioning whether it actually serves our longer-term goals in life. But how do we measure the seriousness of our goals or how seriously we take our goals? By the sacrifices we are willing to make to achieve them. That is how we show that something is actually very important to us. That’s how we honor that goal. And that’s not just true in love. That’s true in business. It’s true everywhere.

In business, if you have a project that you know for a company this is going to be the project that is going to move us forward, this is going to be the life-changing thing if we can get it done, we show our seriousness towards that project by what we are willing to say no to. There might be opportunities that come along that are exciting, that are attractive, that make some money, that are fun, that feel like novel projects that grab our attention. But we say no to them even though they’d be fun and they’re novel because they would get in the way of this thing that’s much, much more important. And the people that never say no don’t ever tend to get that really important thing done.

In love, the people who can’t say no to the wrong thing have a really hard time achieving their goal of finding the kind of sustainable relationship that they’ve been looking for. Last week I interviewed Matthew McConaughey, which is a pretty cool sentence to say. And how did that go? Jameson?

Matthew McConaughey:

Pretty damn good, man. Damn good, I’m happy to say.

Matthew Hussey:

Pretty good, man. We talked about something really interesting, which was a time in his life as an actor where he was tired of doing romcoms. He wanted to do more serious roles, he wanted to really flex as an actor, and he had this very scary period where he was getting massive offers for romcoms that he didn’t want to do anymore, but the money was huge and he wasn’t getting any offers yet for the thing he really wanted to do. So he was having to say no at a time when there was no better option and have faith that a better option would come along if he just kept the space open for that. And that’s a brave thing to do. That takes courage to keep a space open for the right thing by saying no to the wrong thing. He talked about it as saying yes by saying no, and that’s the thing we have to start thinking about in our love life.

When I say no to something that albeit may represent something exciting and fun in front of me, but will take up my energy, will take up space in my life, will take up focus and will probably leave me heartbroken or hurt at the end of it and feeling perhaps resentful that I ever allowed it to take up so much of my space. When we say no to that thing, we have to stop seeing it as just depriving ourselves. Well, there’s nothing else going on in my life. I’m just depriving myself of something fun here. Instead of just seeing it as saying no to something on the outside, we have to start seeing it as saying yes to our longer-term goals to something much, much more important in our lives.

In order to do that, we are going to have to get comfortable in ways that we’ve maybe avoided being comfortable. We’re going to have to build an emotional strength and resilience that says, I am going to do what I’ve been most afraid of, which is to say no even when something better hasn’t come along, even when there’s just a space in my life, and I’m going to have to breathe into that space and feel okay and feel at peace there a little longer. Because if I am living a life where the moment there’s space and someone comes through the door that’s wrong for me, but there’s someone, I flinch and I break that standard and I break my own goals, we’re always going to set back the clock on what it is we really want. And I have watched people, I’ve been doing this for 15 years now with people all over the world, and I have watched people run out the clock on their lives by continuing to entertain the short-term fix over what it is they’re really looking for long-term.

And by the way, an added bonus of saying no to the things that don’t really serve us is that we really build confidence in ourselves because it’s a way of saying, I am important. My goals are important, making myself happy long-term is important, and it’s more important than even giving myself a hit of something that I really want short term. A friend of mine, Brendan Bechard said that integrity doesn’t just show up in the stereotypical way we see it, which is keeping our word to other people. Integrity is also how we spend our time. Does how we spend our time and our energy reflect the promises we’ve made to ourselves and the goals we have for ourselves? Does it reflect the values that we say are our values? And if it doesn’t, then we’re out of integrity with ourselves. But at any point in life, we can get back into integrity with ourselves. We can make the hard choice, we can make the courageous decision, and we can finally create the space in our lives for the right thing to enter it.

Before you go, if you haven’t already tried this, I have a program called The Momentum Texts, which is an amazing program because it actually gives you 67 specific ways of having conversations that create momentum with someone in early dating. And that’s the thing that I find most people want these days. They don’t want to get stuck in casual flings that never go anywhere or just get frozen at this point of non-committal, hooking up, texting that doesn’t turn into dates or dates that never turn into a relationship. If you are in a place in your life where you actually want to move things forward with someone, this is the program that shows you very practical ways to do that. I know you’re going to love it if you haven’t tried it already. It’s a $7 program, so there’s no risk to that. Go try it out. It’s a MomentumTexts.com. So go check it out now, MomentumTexts.com, and I’ll see you next time.

The first Stitch Trip scheduled for Europe is Club Adventures’ “Italy Unparalleled“, taking us us to Rome, Siena, San Gimignano, Pisa, Florence and Venice over 8 days. With a focus on food, wine, and culture just as much as art and history, this trip promises something for everyone!

There are only 12 places available on “Italy Unparalleled”, so you’ll be part of a very select group of Stitch members, building new relationships as you experience the sights of Rome, gourmet fine dining in San Gimignano, visit vineyards, art galleries of Florence, the romance of Venice, and much more.

Reserve your spot on this trip on the Club Adventures website here, or by clicking the button below!