Why You Still Love Bad Boys After 50 and Why They are STILL so BAD for YOU!
You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.
Isn’t it amazing that even at our age in our 50’s, 60’s and 70’s, we’re still wildly attracted to a Bad Boy?
Want to know why?
Well, he’s the one who can make you feel alive inside.
He understands women.
He’s the kind of guy who’ll tell you that they broke the mold when they made you.
Or there’s no one else he can trust or share his deepest thoughts with other than you.
You love a Bad Boy because he makes you feel special and honored that he chose you above everyone else to be in his life.
These qualities are what make you fall in love with him and the chemistry, well let’s just say it feels amazing.
Unfortunately, there’s a not-so-great side to a Bad Boy.
One day he’ll tell you he loves you and the next day he’ll disappear.
Whys that?
A Bad Boy can’t make a commitment to you or any other woman.
That’s because he loves going after the prize, the woman he wants and desires at the moment.
And he’ll do what it takes to get you into his life.
Sadly, once the chase is over, he tires of you and starts the hunt for someone else.
You’ve fallen in love with this man and when he leaves, it breaks your heart.
And what’s even worse is Bad Boys can come back to you when they’re between relationships.
Your Bad Boy will tell you how much he’s missed you.
This gives you hope and you fall in love with him again thinking he’s back for good this time.
But he’s not.
He just doesn’t want to be alone while he’s looking for his next conquest.
A Bad Boy will continue to come in and out of your life until you decide you’ve had enough and you decide to put a stop to this heartbreaking cycle.
How can you tell if he’s a Bad Boy?
Telltale signs are the extremes in his life.
He’s often very handsome and very masculine.
He wants the best life has to offer whether it’s liquor, cars, or women.
He’s often extremely wealthy and extremely fast in whatever he does.
This makes him feel exciting which is a huge part of his charm in your eyes.
In the long run, a Bad Boy can make you miserable and break your heart as he continuously draws you in and then shuts you out of his life.
Yet you still pine for him because Bad Boys make you feel so good.
These men have an amazing command of the English Language and its powers of persuasion and they know how to use it to get under your skin.
But if you really pay attention, you’ll notice a Bad Boy rarely follows his words up with action.
And that’s why Bad Boys aren’t worthy of you and your time.
Now to inspire you that there are GREAT MEN out there for you to date.
Thanks to working with Lisa, the Universe brought me who I wanted
As a result of working with Lisa, I met a really great guy. He’s thoughtful and smart and tells me he loves that he can talk with me about everything. I’m having so much fun. The Quality Man Template we worked on together told the universe precisely what I wanted and bam! He appeared. You were so incredibly helpful, Lisa. Thank you doesn’t begin to cover it! Alison, New Jersey
And if you’ve ever dated a Bad Boy, I would love to hear how that experience went for you.
Big hugs ~
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For every business, there was a person who was an entrepreneur who came up with the business idea, and either worked by themself or with others to create a final business. KMart, Amazon, and the Fairgo login, all started from an entrepreneur’s idea.
An entrepreneur is a driven and innovative individual who takes calculated risks to create and grow a successful business venture. This enterprising individual possesses a unique combination of vision, creativity, and determination to identify opportunities and turn them into profitable ventures.
Entrepreneurs are driven by a passion for their ideas and possess the ability to think outside the box, challenging conventional norms and approaches. They embrace uncertainty and are willing to face the challenges and setbacks that come with starting and managing a business. Through their relentless pursuit of success, entrepreneurs not only create value for themselves but also contribute to the overall growth and development of the economy.
The Entrepreneur’s Toolkit from Wondrium
The Entrepreneur’s Toolkit has 24 half-hour lectures to teach you how to get started and overcome the many obstacles on the path to a successful venture, whatever your business idea is. By following Professor Goldsby’s proven path, you can embark on your own enterprise with confidence.
How to come up with a great business idea (Even if you have already done this, it is worth watching this lecture).
Understanding your market (Too many people start a business without fully understanding who their competitors are, and they may not be the obvious ones).
Prototypes, making your idea a reality (Did you even buy a product, and you scratch your head and wonder if anybody actually a prototype of the product before mass producing it? What looks great on paper, may not be so great in reality.).
Defining your business model (How will your company make money? If your company cannot make money, it is not a business. It is a hobby. That is not necessarily bad, but you should understand that before you invest too much time and money into something).
Picking your business structure.
Starting your business plan.
Market analysis and market strategy.
Business logistics and operations.
Organizational structure and management teams.
Income statements and balance sheets.
Cash flow and performance measures.
Conducting risk analysis.
Finishing your business plan.
How to finance your business.
From home office to social media.
Starting a family business.
Buying a franchise or other business.
Understanding intellectual property.
Managing human resources.
The customer experience and your brand.
Entrepreneurial perspectives.
Entrepreneurial exhaustion.
Entrepreneurial leadership.
The successful entrepreneur.
How to turn your passion into profit from Wondrium
More than half of all American adults will start at least one business during their working life. Give it your best shot:
Name your priorities.
Interpret your passion (What do you feel passionate about and what types of experiences bring out the passion in you?).
Describe your ideal business (Explore the type of brand you want to develop by describing three key attributes of your ideal business—even before you have any idea what the business might be.).
Identify your market (Who is your ideal customer?).
What’s a business model? (When you choose your business model, you are deciding what you offer (product or service), how you make money from it, and how you deliver what you sell.)
Weigh your options.
Define your business model.
Investigate your customer.
Name the value you offer.
Design your offer.
Price your offer.
Create your marketing strategy.
Choose your marketing activities.
Choose your website and software.
Design your sales process.
Get organized.
Embrace the challenge.
Interview: Setting your goals.
Interview: Choosing your business model.
Interview: Creating your offer.
Interview: Selling and marketing your offer.
Interview: Creating a foundation for success.
Critical business skills for success from Wondrium
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Critical Business Skills for Success is a comprehensive guide to the five disciplines-strategy, operations, finance and accounting, organizational behavior, and marketing-that everyone needs to master in today’s marketplace. Bringing the MBA experience to you, this authoritative course demystifies the secrets of business and provides insights to help you achieve your goals.
This series is 60 thirty-minute lectures. In some episodes, a specific company will look at in-depth, for example, Blockbuster, Netflix, Trader Joe’s, video game companies, social media companies, NutraSweet, etc. It is a completely different focus than the above two courses that focus on the beginning phases of starting a new business.
Episode: Wondrium Pilots: Business Etiquette for the Virtual World
This is a single 30-minute episode that talks about business etiquette for the virtual world, Zoom, Google Meets, etc.
Games people play Game theory in Life, business, and Beyond from Wondrium
This course is more of a psychology course, but then business involves dealing with people. Business is also strategy, and that is where Game Theory and odds of chance come into play.
Freelancing 101: Turning your Side Hustle into Cash from Wondrium
This class will empower you to take your skills and monetize them as a freelancer. After this class, you will be able to identify competitors, price your services, and develop skills to network so that you can land that next deal.
This is a short 11-episode series that talks about the same major topics as the Entrepreneurial Toolkit, but it has a few additional lectures that are important for the freelancer.
Develop your freelance network.
Analyze your market value (so you know your worth).
Determine your hourly rate.
Estimate your time commitment (If you already have two small projects, do you have enough time to take on a third project.).
Hourly vs. project rate.
When to raise your rates.
Negotiating your value.
When to say yes and when to say no to a project.
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About determining your hourly rate. As an employee, you get paid a base salary plus benefits. If the company does well, you also get bonuses and stock options (sometimes). You might also get other perks like a company car or free public transportation. Maybe you get a cell phone plan. Most companies provide paid days off, vacation time, sick time, their share of taxes, health insurance, dental insurance, life insurance, etc. Those “little things” add up. As a freelancer, a “salary” that may sound great at first may turn out to be not so great when you factor in all of this other stuff.
The Art of Critical Decision Making
Making good decisions is a skill. The Art of Critical Decision-Making explores how individuals, groups, and organizations make effective choices. These 24 fascinating lectures also provide you with the skills and techniques you need to enhance the effectiveness of your own decision-making.
More courses …
The courses listed above are just the tip of the iceberg of the gems you can find on Wondrium’s streaming service.
The Complete Guide to Smartphone Photography will teach you how to take great pictures with your smartphone. There will be times when you will want to hire a professional photographer, but in most businesses, there will be plenty of instances where taking your own pictures will do the job. So why not learn how to use your camera properly?
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The Art of Video Storytelling will teach you how to tell a story with your videos.
Propaganda and Persuasion will teach you about marketing. And depending on what your interests are and what business you want to open, there are plenty of other courses that will spark your interest.
Sens. Patty Murray (D-WA) and Tammy Duckworth (D-IL) are reintroducing the Reproductive Health Care Accessibility Act today.
The bill, first introduced in the previous session of Congress, would make reproductive health care more accessible for disabled people and increase the number of disabled people in the reproductive health workforce. Reps. Cori Bush (D-MO) and Ayanna Pressley (D-MA) are introducing companion legislation in the House.
“People with disabilities have long faced discrimination and real roadblocks to getting the health care, including abortion care, that they need—and it’s become a full-blown crisis in the year after the Dobbs decision overturned the right to abortion, especially for the nearly 3 million disabled women who live in states without access to reproductive health care,” said Murray, referring to a recent report from the National Partnership for Women and Families (NPWF).
NPWF, which endorses the bill, found that more than 36 million U.S. women of reproductive age live in states that have banned abortion or are likely to do so. The nearly 3 million of those women who are disabled represent a disproportionate 52 percent of women of reproductive age in these states.
“As we continue to fight back against Republicans’ escalating attacks on reproductive health care across the country, there’s so much more we need to do to ensure women and people with disabilities can access high-quality care from providers who understand their unique health-care needs,” Murray said. “My legislation with Senator Duckworth would make a big difference in helping people with disabilities access the high-quality reproductive care they deserve—and I’ll be fighting to pass it this Congress.”
Nationwide, there are 4.1 million disabled parents. But disabled people are more likely to experience pregnancy complications, and 11 times more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes. They are also twice as likely to live in poverty, with disabled people of color bearing an even more disproportionate poverty risk. As a result, 1 in 4 disabled adults don’t have a regular health-care provider and have unmet health needs due to the cost of care, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
All of this, in combination with the United States’ long history and present reality of reproductive coercion and forced sterilization of disabled people, makes seeking reproductive health care deeply fraught—and potentially even dangerous—for disabled people.
“For too long, Americans with disabilities have faced persistent barriers to health-care services, equipment, and providers—and with right-wing efforts underway to go even further to undermine these rights in the wake of the overturning of Roe, many are rightfully worried about having an even harder time accessing the reproductive care they need,” Duckworth said, adding that she wants to ensure “all of us in the disability community are not left behind in getting the care we need, when we need it.”
The bill includes:
$10 million to fund training programs for health-care professionals;
$10 million for educational programs focused on the reproductive health needs of disabled people;
$10 million to establish a new technical assistance center to provide recommendations and best practices regarding sexual and reproductive health care for people with disabilities;
$15 million to expand the health-care workforce by increasing the representation of disabled people in the physician and nursing professions;
$15 million to fund an in-depth study on reproductive health care for disabled people by the Department of Health and Human Services.
“This bill marks a major push forward in addressing some of the significant barriers disabled people face in pursuing reproductive health care and makes clear that there is a dire need for legislation and policies to redress disabled people’s right to culturally competent reproductive health care,” said Mia Ives-Rublee, director of the Disability Justice Initiative at Center for American Progress, which endorses the bill.
The Reproductive Health Care Accessibility Act is also endorsed by a long list of reproductive health and rights groups, including the Center for Reproductive Rights, Planned Parenthood, the National Women’s Law Center, the National Abortion Federation, Power to Decide, the Reproductive Health Access Project, and the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Justice.
The bill was first introduced last year in the wake of the Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, but did not make it out of committee. In the year since, more than a dozen states have banned abortion entirely, with more likely to follow. As barriers to abortion and all reproductive health care continue to mount, the bill’s sponsors say the time to pass it is now.
“There has been a daily assault on access to reproductive health care, and our siblings with disabilities are deeply impacted by barriers to care,” Pressley said. “Now more than ever we need comprehensive, culturally congruent, and accessible reproductive health care for the disability community. I am proud to join this bicameral effort and reintroduce the Reproductive Health Care Accessibility Act. Lives literally depend on it.”
So you’ve found your soulmate, and now it’s time to plan the wedding of your dreams! But with so many options out there, which is the best month to say “I do”? You see, the best month to get married depends on a variety of factors. For instance, are you drawn to the vibrant spring colors of spring or the warm, cozy hues of autumn? How about grabbing some amazing discounts during the cheapest months to get married? And hey, what if you could tie the knot on a perfect date, such as the day you met your love? Oh, and let’s not forget the icing on the wedding cake – yes, your honeymoon plans!
With so many little things to take care of, it’s important that you make an informed decision – a decision that will make your heart flutter with anticipation. And to help you make this informed choice, I’ve made you a complete guide on how to select the best month for your wedding. Let’s do this!
When Is The Wedding Season?
Now, let’s unveil the crown jewels of the wedding season: the most popular months for weddings! First up, we have the reigning champion: June! This wedding month has been a favorite among lovebirds since eternity. It’s no surprise, really, as the month offers you super mild weather and a dreamy ambiance. Just picture yourself exchanging vows in warm sunshine, surrounded by nature in full bloom! June truly offers the perfect blend of romance and comfort, making it an irresistible choice for the perfect wedding.
Next up on our chart of “What is the most popular month to get married?,” we have September and October – the ultimate duo of autumnal bliss. These traditional wedding months are full of colorful leaves and crisp air. With pleasant temperatures and an enchanting scenery, September and October are great choices for early fall weddings!
So, if you wish to marry during the most popular months for weddings, mark your calendars (as early as possible, if you don’t want your destination wedding venues to get snatched up, or are ready to pay extra during the most expensive month to get married). June, September, and October will shower you with warmth, love, and pure enchantment as you embark on your incredible journey to your ‘happily ever after’!
For more expert-backed insights, subscribe to our YouTube channel.
How To Choose The Best Month To Get Married?
Let’s take a journey through each month and uncover the joys and considerations for each potential wedding season. By carefully weighing your options, you’ll be able to select the best month to get married – a time that perfectly aligns with your vision and preferences. So, grab a cup of your favorite brew, put on your wedding-planning hat, and get ready for an exciting adventure!
If you adore winter date ideas and winter weddings, you’d love to exchange vows in a snowy wonderland. For indoor weddings and more intimate celebrations, January’s off-peak season wedding is apt and allows you to focus on close family and friends. It can also be an excellent choice for couples looking to save money, as off-season rates and discounts will make your dream wedding more affordable. Therefore, January is an ideal pick for winter enthusiasts, budget-conscious couples, and those desiring an intimate celebration.
While the snowy backdrop in winter months can be enchanting, it’s important to consider the weather conditions. Extremely cold weather in certain regions may affect travel for guests. Some guests may have conflicting holiday plans or vacation time in January, so be sure to let them know about your plan well in advance, to accommodate their schedules. Some outdoor ceremonies and receptions might also be limited due to cold temperatures. However, creative indoor setups can bring warmth and coziness to your celebration!
If you love warm fireplaces and a winter wonderland, a January wedding might be perfect
2. February
Want to infuse your wedding day with extra doses of love? If yes, February might be your best month to get married! With Valentine’s Day as your backdrop, you’ll have a ready-made theme to work with. Think red, pink, and white color palettes, heart-shaped decor, and whimsical touches that will create a dreamy ambiance. But yes, due to the popularity of Valentine’s Day weddings, secure your preferred wedding venue and vendors early. Be prepared for potential price hikes due to the demand surrounding the holiday.
3. March
If you adore the freshness of spring, a March wedding can be perfect for you. It typically offers milder temperatures that are comfortable for both indoor and outdoor weddings. March symbolizes new beginnings, making it a meaningful choice for newly married couples. Moreover, opting for a month just outside the peak season for weddings may help you secure better deals on venue and vendor costs. With minimal calendar conflicts, your guests are also likely to be available to celebrate your special day.
So, March is a great choice for couples who are drawn to the vibrancy of spring, enjoy the comfort of milder temperatures, and prefer a time when their loved ones are likely to be available to join in the festivities. Quick tip: While March often brings pleasant temperatures, it can still be unpredictable. During your wedding planning process, it’s wise to have backup plans in case of sudden weather changes.
4. April
April is an excellent choice for couples who love the idea of spring weddings, adore blooming gardens, and are willing to take a chance on April showers. Because, let’s get real, a spring wedding does come with a certain gamble – the unpredictable weather. Will it be sunny and warm, or will a surprise cold snap hit? And if you do go ahead despite the chances of April showers, you’ll get a wider selection of floral options to choose from.
Another factor to keep in mind is the holiday calendar in April. Easter, for example, falls in this month, and this may impact availability and pricing of venues and vendors. While an Easter-themed wedding can be charming, it’s important to consider the troubles associated with holiday dates.
5. May
If you dream of a wedding with blooming flowers, joyful anticipation, and the opportunity for your guests to enjoy a soothing getaway, May could be the best month to get married. It offers comfortable weather, making it enjoyable for both indoor and outdoor celebrations. This also makes it easier to fight your pre-wedding blues. With school breaks, long weekends, and vacation time, your wedding guests will have flexible schedules during May.
May showcases nature at its finest, with flowers in full bloom and lush greenery, providing a stunning backdrop for your May outdoor wedding photos. Memorial Day too falls in late May, which can be a great advantage if you’re looking for a long weekend wedding. But, being the start of the wedding season, May is naturally a popular wedding month for couples to tie the knot. This means that venues and vendors might have higher demand. o, booking in advance is important!
If you wish to exchange vows in a picturesque garden, on a beach, or under a clear blue sky, a June wedding might be your perfect match. June is neither too hot nor too cold, striking a perfect balance for your big day. However, June falls under the peak season for weddings, which means that venues and vendors may get booked quickly.
June is far removed from winter holidays and school summer holidays. So, your guests are more likely to have a little extra room in their budgets for travel and wedding gifts. With summer in full swing, June also offers an abundance of flowers and fruits. So, you’ll have countless floral options for your wedding decor and a variety of delicious produce for your wedding menu!
7. July
Couples who adore summer weddings, vibrant energy, and the idea of celebrating under sunny skies will find July to be an appealing choice. If you love beach weddings or want to create a lively and carefree atmosphere, this wedding month is perfect for you.
Just make sure to plan for the potential heat and book your desired venues and vendors in advance to secure your dream wedding. Outdoor ceremonies may become uncomfortable for you and your guests. So, plan your summer wedding dates and venues accordingly (keeping in mind factors such as proper shade, cooling stations, and indoor alternatives).
8. August
Let’s talk about August, particularly August weddings pros and cons. August offers extended daylight hours, giving you more time to celebrate and capture your summer wedding photos. It offers a laid-back and carefree vibe that aligns perfectly with a relaxed and joyful wedding. As August falls under a slightly off-peak wedding season, it is naturally one of the cheapest months to get married. You may find more availability and flexibility in terms of wedding venues and vendors too. This could open up more options and even help with wedding budget considerations and wedding party gifts.
But, depending on your location, August can be quite warm, especially in certain parts of the country. If you’re planning an outdoor wedding, make sure to provide ample shade and refreshing beverages. It’s important to consider the comfort of your guests during the ceremony and reception.
9. September
If you’re a couple who adores the natural beauty of autumn, cute fall dates, and a comfortable outdoor celebration, September is your wedding month! This peak wedding season offers a pleasant balance of temperatures. It allows you to enjoy your outdoor wedding in September without worrying about extreme weather conditions.
With pumpkins, hayrides, and cozy vibes, September weddings offer festive fall themes. From rustic elegance to harvest-inspired decor, you can infuse your wedding dates with the essence of the season. The vibrant hues of red, orange, and gold create a truly stunning backdrop for those wedding photos.
The foliage in October is a feast for the eyes. Imagine saying your vows surrounded by a picturesque backdrop of vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows. As the temperatures start to dip, October creates a cozy atmosphere, perfect for intimate celebrations. If you dream of candlelit receptions, warm drinks, and snug blankets for your guests to enjoy, it might be the best month to get married.
11. November
Here’s the deal: November is one of the least popular wedding months. But, November weddings do offer a cozy ambiance, ideal for couples who want an intimate celebration. The chilly weather encourages snuggling up close, adding an extra touch of romance to their wedding dates. As November offers off-peak season weddings, you may also find a lot of discounts. With your finances in check, you can focus on building a happy and healthy marriage.
12. December
If you’re dreaming of a wedding filled with twinkling lights, warm fireplaces, and a winter wonderland, December might be ideal. Likewise, if you want to avoid the busiest wedding months or the most popular day for weddings in town, wrap up the year with a December wedding. The holiday cheer will naturally add an extra layer of magic to your wedding day. With less competition during this time, you’ll have more options and better negotiating power in your wedding planning process and honeymoon packing.
Now, remember the blizzard that hit NYC on Phoebe and Mike’s wedding in Friends? The truth is, winter weddings can be quite unpredictable. So make sure to have a plan for any possible inconveniences. Travel may also be more challenging and expensive during the holiday season in winter months, so keep that in mind while inviting out-of-town guests.
Key Pointers
June, September, and October are the most popular choices among wedding months
December, January and February are the typical months for winter weddings, and they’re ideal picks for winter enthusiasts, budget-conscious couples, and those desiring an intimate celebration
If you want a spring wedding with blooming flowers and lush gardens, you may choose March, April, or May during your wedding planning process
If you’re looking for family-friendly celebrations, or are simply captivated by the beauty of summer blooms, go for a summer wedding in June, July, or August
No matter when you decide to tie the knot, try to breathe easy and plan ahead. Get on top of things by booking your wedding venue and negotiating with vendors. The early bird catches the worm, or in this case, your dream wedding and potential discounts. And oh, don’t forget to have a backup plan, just in case the weather decides to throw a curveball or life surprises you with a few hiccups. Remember, your big day is all about celebrating love. So, let’s get organized, keep a positive mindset, and create unforgettable memories, no matter which month steals your heart!
You would think in a marriage that there would be a great degree of intimacy, maybe passion. But sometimes people just feel like they’re living with a roommate. If that’s you, is there something you can do about it? Let’s talk about it on today’s episode of Relationship Radio.
Relationship Radio is hosted by CEO of Marriage Helper, Kimberly Beam Holmes, and founder of Marriage Helper, Dr. Joe Beam.
Regardless of your situation, what we teach will not only make your relationships better, but will also help you to become the best version of yourself along the way.
Relationship Radio is released every Wednesday and is an extension of Marriage Helper.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. We love hearing from you!
For more resources about your specific situation, visit marriagehelper.com.
Thank you so much for being a loyal listener of Relationship Radio. Because of that, we would like to offer you 25% off your first month of our Save My Marriage Membership. All you have to do is go to marriagehelper.com/podcast and enter code PODCAST to sign up today!
Going through a breakup is never easy. It’s emotionally draining and leaves us feeling vulnerable and uncertain about the future. However, as time passes, we start to wonder if we’re ready to dip our toes back into the dating pool. But how can you tell if you’re truly prepared to take that step? Here are some signs to look out for that will tell you when you’re ready to start dating again.
Emotional healing
One of the most important indicators of readiness to date again is whether you’ve done enough emotional healing. Take a moment to assess whether you’ve given yourself time to process the breakup, accept your feelings, and let go of any residual pain or anger. When you find that you’re no longer dwelling on the past or comparing potential partners to your ex, it’s a sign that your heart is open to new possibilities.
Regaining Self-Confidence
Before jumping into a new relationship, it’s crucial to have a healthy dose of self-love and self-confidence. Feeling good about yourself and having a strong sense of self-worth will attract the right kind of people into your life. Engage in self-care activities that work for you and surround yourself with supportive friends and family to boost your confidence.
Having Realistic Expectations
When you’re ready to date again, you’ll find that you have a more realistic outlook on relationships. No one is perfect, and relationships require effort and compromise from both partners. Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration, so it’s essential to be open-minded and willing to accept imperfections.
Feeling Excitement Over Fear
Dating can be both thrilling and nerve-wracking. If the idea of meeting new people and getting to know them brings more excitement than fear, it’s a good indication that you’re ready to date again. Embrace the thrill of new connections and experiences while recognizing that some nerves are entirely normal.
No Rebound Desperation
One common mistake people make after a breakup is jumping into a new relationship too quickly as a way to avoid loneliness. True readiness to date again means you’re not using others to fill a void left by your previous relationship. You’re seeking companionship and connection for the right reasons, and not simply as a rebound.
Sometimes in long-term relationships, the passion can start to fade and the sexual routine may become a little repetitive. Foreplay games can help you get out of that rut. As you grow to know your partner, you learn about the things that turn them on and the things that don’t work. This might make you jump directly to the things you know will work instead of trying something new or ignoring the things that you think don’t work, making the whole experience monotonous.
Some sexy hot games can help you get back to the fun in the bedroom. Sizzling foreplay can be a great catalyst for spicy sex and a great orgasm, or even multiple orgasms *wink wink*. We have lined up some amazing foreplay games for couples, that’ll have your juices flowing in no time, pardon the pun.
How To Play Foreplay Games The Right Way
According to a study, foreplay creates a rush within the body which leads to sexual arousal. It stimulates not only the erogenous zones of the body but also the mind. Foreplay is essential to arousal, and something as simple as kissing can be passionate foreplay if done right and pave the way for a hot and sexy ride. However, to make the most of this experience, you need to be mindful of a few things:
1. Consent is important
Consent is essential during foreplay, just as it is during any sexual activity. Without consent, any sexual activity can be considered a sexual assault. The role of consent during foreplay is to ensure that both parties involved are comfortable with and have agreed to the sexual activity taking place. If it’s a first date, you need to be more cautious about the wants of your partner.
Consent must be enthusiastic, freely given, and specific to the sexual activity at hand. It’s important to note that consent can be withdrawn at any time during sexual activity, including foreplay. If someone changes their mind or becomes uncomfortable at any point during foreplay, all sexual activity should stop immediately.
Boundaries during foreplay games are important to ensure that all parties involved feel comfortable, respected, and safe. Sexy games for couples should be about exploring pleasure and intimacy, not pressuring your partner into doing something they’re not comfortable with. Here are some important boundaries to consider during foreplay:
Physical boundaries: Everyone has different physical boundaries, and it’s important to respect them. Ask your partner what they are comfortable with and make sure to respect their boundaries throughout the duration of foreplay
Emotional boundaries: It’s important to respect your partner’s emotional boundaries as well. Avoid topics or actions that may make them uncomfortable or upset
Time boundaries: Everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to the amount of time spent on foreplay. Be sure to check in with your partner to ensure that they are still enjoying themselves and are comfortable with the duration of the foreplay
3. Stay playful and open-minded
Foreplay games should be a fun and light-hearted way to explore each other’s desires and fantasies during sexy time. Don’t take things too seriously or put too much pressure on the outcome. Remember to laugh and enjoy the moment. Having trouble coming up with new ideas during foreplay? Experiment with different sexy game ideas and activities to find what works best for you and your partner.
Don’t be afraid to try new things and be open-minded about your partner’s desires and sexual fantasies. You could even surf the internet and find foreplay apps to help you spice up things. A variety of foreplay card games or foreplay board games can help you get started too if you’re out of ideas.
4. Communicate your needs
Open and honest communication is key to good foreplay. Make sure that both you and your partner are comfortable with the level of communication and the language used during the experience. Make sure to ask your partner what they prefer and communicate with them the things you are interested in or want to try and the things you’d like to avoid before engaging in any kind of sexual activity.
Foreplay can be a driving force behind a good sexual relationship. Some examples of foreplay are kissing, biting, talking dirty, and even bondage. Oral sex, of course, is considered integral to good foreplay and can significantly heighten the excitement. However, that’s not all there’s to it. If you want to make your sex life more enjoyable, exploring some fantastic foreplay games can get you off to a good start. To that end, here is our lowdown of 21 naughty bedroom games to play with your partner:
1. Guessing game
Looking for hot things to do in bed? Play the guessing game. You can turn this classic into a sexy game to play with your partner. All you have to do is to write random phrases on the body of your partner and let them guess what you have written. You can add some punishments and rewards to make this game even kinkier. Finding some erotic things to say to your partner work greatly as well.
2. Blindfolded sensory experience
There is such a thing as eye contact attraction. But what happens when you cannot look at your partner in the eye while in bed? Does it increase the intimacy? Let’s see. This game involves blindfolding your partner and using various objects, textures, and temperatures to stimulate an erogenous zone. You could use feathers, ice, hot wax, massage oils, or anything else that feels good. To create a blindfolded sensory experience, one partner can be blindfolded and the other partner can use various stimuli to engage their other senses.
This can include things like soft fabrics to touch, fragrant oils or perfumes to smell, different foods to taste, and various sounds to hear. Keep your eyes closed, pair it up with oral sex and you’re in for a treat!
The blindfolded partner can then focus on their other senses, taking in and enjoying the different sensations they’re experiencing
This can help build intimacy and trust between partners as well as heighten their awareness and appreciation of their bodies and their partner’s
3. Truth or Dare
We all know about this game very well. And there is always a way to make it hot and spicy. You can look online for some truth or dare questions, or you can create your own truth questions to ask your partner and learn more about their sexual desires. Likewise, you can make each other do some kinky stuff as dares. If you are not so creative with questions, you can find plenty of them online and add your own twist to them.
A lot of people think sex and smartphones should not be mixed, but you’ll be surprised at what the combination can do for you. Relax, we’re not asking you to use your smartphone on you. Although no judging, whatever works for you. We’re suggesting you download foreplay apps like Dirty Game – Hot Truth or Dare to help you in a jam.
You must have played dice games before but have you ever thought of them in terms of sex games? Well, it can be one of the many ways to have fun in the bedroom. You can customize your dice and write things however you may want. For example, on each side of the dice, you can write a sex position and the location of the house, and that’s how you roll!
5. Sex position foreplay
You may come up with more original ways of having sex if you experiment with foreplay in various sex positions. You can try foreplay activities in various sex positions, which typically seem extremely odd and weird to you. This can turn out to be a pleasant and fun activity to do in bed if you let go of your inhibitions. It could help broaden your horizons and find something that you enjoy extremely. If at any time you feel uncomfortable, ask your partner to stop, without hesitation.
6. Create new challenges
Challenging your partner with new stuff can spice up your sexual relationship. These challenges could be anything like making out at an unorthodox location and trying different and new positions. What makes this activity super fun is the spontaneity of it. For example;
You could be sitting at a theme park, and you can randomly tell your partner to kiss you passionately, no matter who watches
You could be at a restaurant and ask your partner to meet you in the restroom for the nasties
You could introduce a sex toy that you control through a remote or an app. Have your partner wear it, take them to a public place, and challenge them to act cool while you tease them with the controls
7. Story sex games (roleplay)
In the list of hot things to do in bed, roleplaying comes out at the top. This is one of the best foreplay games for couples to turn up the heat. If you have watched erotic videos before, you must have gotten an idea of what we are talking about. You basically have to create a story with some naughty scenarios in your mind and share it with your partner. You both play characters of that story and sauce it up with some naughty dialogues and a little bit of kissing, teasing, or touching.
If you and your partner are up for adventures and looking for new ways to spice things up, then this could be your jam. This game is all about making out but… but… there’s a twist. You are not allowed to do it at home! You’ll both feel like teenagers, finding places to make out at. It could be any place, like your backyard, a nearby street, a movie theater, behind the bushes in a park, on a carousel, or on a joy ride. It’s time to kiss your girl, and it’s now!
9. Monogamy
If you are looking for sexy hot games to play with your partner, give Monogamy a try. This foreplay board game consists of various adventurous dares and questions. You can add your own truth or drink questions too if you want to. Pour some wine (or poison of your choice), set the mood with some music, and you’re ready to go. You move a piece around the board and land on spaces that include kissing, drinking, undressing, or removing a card that asked your partner something about themselves or revealed something about you.
Every time you complete a board, you level up and the questions and kissing become more intense. You can either play it with a group of equally adventurous friends or just with your partner. You can look for other dirty phone apps as well to find more foreplay game ideas.
10. Kamasutra card game
Foreplay card games could be one of the many ideas for having a good time in bed. You can find these Kamasutra playing cards online and play with your partner for better sex and foreplay ideas. These cards usually show a sex position or a way to make love to your partner. A card is picked and the people involved try out whatever the card says or shows, keeping in mind each other’s boundaries. You can add your own rules to this game to attune it to your kinky quotient.
This game is similar to regular poker, but the loser has to remove an item of clothing each time they lose a hand. It can be a fun way to build sexual tension and intimacy. To play strip poker, each player starts with an equal number of clothing items (e.g. shirts, pants, socks).
Players then place bets by wagering on clothing items instead of chips or money. For example, a player may bet their shirt, and if they lose the hand, they would need to remove their shirt. The game continues until one player is completely naked or until a predetermined endpoint is reached.
12. Sensual massage
Massaging your partner can help them relax and be more comfortable with you. In fact, massage is one of the best examples of foreplay. This sexy game includes a great sensual massage and lots of naughty gestures. You can touch them here and there for some really good pleasure and that’s how you can get started with your foreplay activities. Keep in mind these naughty tips for better and safer sex.
To add more fun, you can pour oil on them (slightly hot oil would increase the level of arousal if your partner is comfortable with it), and massage everywhere and anywhere. Or you could add a rule to not touch the genitals, and yet find ways to give them the pleasure they deserve.
13. Simon says
You must have played this classic game once in your life. But if you haven’t, then let us tell you how it’s played, but with a sexual twist, making this one of the best sexy game ideas. Basically, you have to order your partner to do something, but the command has to be preceded by the words, “Simon Says”, and they will have to do it. However, if you don’t add “Simon Says” to your command and they still do the task, they will lose. This innocent game can be turned into a great foreplay game and get very kinky, depending on your commands.
Say things like “Simon says kiss my neck”, “Simon says bite me on the collarbone”, “Take off your shirt”
If they lose, you could both decide on a punishment that might spice things up even more, but make sure it is acceptable to you both. For example, spanking
This foreplay game is one of the best ways to know about your partner’s comfort level and their likes and dislikes. You try several new foreplay moves with your partner and they respond with “Red” or “Green”. When they say “Red”, it means they are not okay with what you are doing and want you to stop right there.
However, if they say “Green”, then that means they want you to keep going on. It is a great way to try a variety of different things. You not only learn your partner’s preferences but your own as well. Another way to learn about your partner’s preferences could be an interactive sex questionnaire for couples. The answers will be eye-opening. Better foreplay counts for better sex.
15. Use some food
Couples’ foreplay games often include kissing, touching, and licking each other. Why not kick things up a notch by adding some sensual foods to the mix?
You can put some chocolate or wine on your partner’s erogenous zones and lick it off. Ask your partner to keep their eyes closed for the best experience
You can cover your partner’s body in butter, or pour slightly hot melted chocolate on your partner’s body while you watch. This will arouse both of you immensely
Lay your partner down and put crumbs of cake all over them. Eat it off of them, and feed them a little too. Make a sensuous game of it
An ice cube is another great food commodity that can be used. Running an ice cube over your partner’s body can create a thrilling sensation.
16. Find the chocolate
Licking games are one of the sexiest activities to try your hands at, especially if the other person is blindfolded. In this game, your partner will be blindfolded and you just have to dip your finger in the chocolate and spread it on any of your body parts. Now, your partner has to lick your whole body just to find out the area where you’ve spread the chocolate. Such couples foreplay games will raise the heat so much, your fantasies will turn into fervent dreams.
Customizing a fantasy jar is a very creative and smart activity to learn more about each other’s sexual fantasies and desires. All you have to do is simply write your fantasies on different pieces of paper, fold them down, and put them in a jar. Once you do this, your partner gets the chance to pick one of these papers and do whatever you have written in it. For some, the act of filling up the jar alone can be intimate and erotic enough to get them in the mood for lovemaking.
18. Go shopping
What’s spicy about going shopping with your partner? All right, so here’s the hook. Go shopping at any of your favorite lingerie shops with your partner and let them choose anything that they want you to wear. Here’s an extra kick: You can’t see what’s inside the shopping bag unless it’s time for you to try it on. Try to go with the flow on this one. Trust that your partner will know the different types of lingerie that will look good on you. Just wear the damn thing and enjoy the attention from him/her.
19. Body paint
Use non-toxic body paint to create designs on each other’s bodies. This can be a fun and creative way to explore each other’s bodies. To engage in foreplay body paint, you can follow these steps:
Choose the right paint: Select non-toxic, body-safe paint or ink that won’t irritate or harm the skin. Some people prefer to use body paint products specifically designed for this purpose, while others may choose to make their own using natural ingredients such as cocoa powder or food coloring
Set the mood: To create a sensual atmosphere, you can dim the lights, play soft music, light some candles, and set out any other items that will help you and your partner relax
Apply the paint: Use a brush, your fingers, or other tools to apply the paint or ink to your partner’s skin. You can choose to create designs that are artistic, erotic, or a combination of both
Explore and enjoy: Pick your favorite sex position and take the time to explore your partner’s body as you paint, and allow them to explore yours in return. Use the opportunity to discover new erogenous zones, and enjoy the intimate connection that comes from touching and being touched in this way
20. The dominance game
You might have watched or heard of 365 Days or Fifty Shades Of Grey. And if by chance both your partner and you like the concept, this game is going to be a lot of fun for you. As the name suggests, this game is all about dominating. And let’s be honest, it’s one of the most pleasurable and kinky stuff one could imagine.
All you have to do is to dominate your partner (of course with their consent!) and they will have to do whatever you tell them to do. If you are the submissive one, ask your partner to dominate you. This could also be a stepping stone for branching into different aspects of BDSM if that’s what you’re both interested in exploring.
21. Time bomb
This game majorly focuses on the foreplay part of your sexual life. How to play it? Just set a timer of about 15-20 minutes and during this period just focus on the foreplay part such as kissing, licking, touching, and teasing. All you have to do is to avoid penetration during this time and only play with each other’s body.
Key Pointers
Foreplay requires consent just like any other sexual activity does. If everyone engaging in the sexual activity has provided their explicit consent, you can begin
It’s crucial to respect boundaries so that no one feels uncomfortable or taken advantage of
Foreplay makes the intercourse a thousand times better for all parties involved, and oftentimes leads to achieving the big O, without the actual penetration
Some foreplay games to add spice to your sex life could be roleplaying, body painting, truth or dare, strip poker, and erotic massages
In any sexual activity, pleasure should be the most essential part, and the most focused on, since it truly ups the ante. Knowing your partner’s sexual preferences makes things easier for you and aids in keeping your attention on what to do to turn them on. There are plenty of wild things you can do in foreplay, though it is necessary to keep in mind that mutual consent is a major factor here. You and your partner both need to understand your levels of comfort, and you can enjoy a great time in bed without harming each other’s boundaries.
Regarding flower delivery in Miami, there is a vast and diverse array of floral choices beyond the classic red roses. While roses are timeless and romantic, the Magic City’s vibrant culture and tropical surroundings inspire a rich tapestry of unique and exotic blooms. In this blog, we will explore the world of extraordinary flowers that go beyond roses, showcasing the beauty and elegance of these exquisite floral choices when someone wants to send flowers to Miami.
World of Astounding Flowers
Orchids: Elegance and Grace
Orchids are the epitome of refinement and elegance, making them popular for flower delivery services in Miami. With their stunning shapes and vibrant colors, orchids create an aura of luxury and sophistication. These exotic flowers are associated with rare beauty and have a captivating allure that appeals to nature enthusiasts and artful souls.
Bird of Paradise: Tropical Splendor
The Bird of Paradise flower is a show-stopper strikingly resembling a brightly colored bird in flight. Originating from South Africa, this tropical bloom has found its place in Miami’s landscape due to its warm climate. Bird of Paradise flowers symbolize joy, paradise, and freedom, making them ideal for celebrating special occasions in the Magic City.
Protea: Bold and Striking
For those seeking an impressive and unconventional flower, Protea steals the spotlight with its bold and architectural appearance. These stunning flowers originate from South Africa and are known for their large, dramatic petals and striking colors. Proteas make a statement in floral arrangements and add an artistic flair to any occasion, making them a unique choice for flower delivery in Miami.
Calla Lilies: Modern Elegance
Calla lilies exude modern elegance with their smooth, trumpet-shaped blooms. Native to Southern Africa, these graceful flowers come in various shades, including classic white, vibrant yellow, and deep purple. Calla lilies symbolize beauty and purity, making them an excellent choice for weddings and formal events in Miami.
Heliconia: Tropical Extravaganza
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Heliconia flowers add a burst of tropical extravagance to any floral arrangement. With their vibrant colors and dramatic shapes, Heliconias are reminiscent of the exuberant nature of Miami’s landscape. These tropical blooms symbolize boldness, vitality, and positivity, making them a perfect flower gift to infuse joy and energy into the recipient’s life.
Sunflowers: Radiant and Joyful
While sunflowers may be more commonly associated with the countryside, their radiant beauty brings happiness to Miami flower delivery. Sunflowers symbolize warmth, positivity, and strength, making them an excellent choice for spreading joy and brightening someone’s day in the bustling city of Miami.
Lilies: Elegant and Beauty
Known for their graceful and elegant appearance, lilies come in various types, including Asiatic, Oriental, and Calla lilies. They convey purity, beauty, and devotion, making them popular for weddings and other special events.
Tulips: Blossoming Love and Vibrant Delight
Representing perfect love, tulips come in a rainbow of colors, each carrying its meaning. These vibrant and cheerful blooms are perfect for celebrating the arrival of spring or expressing joy and happiness.
Daisies: Sprinkling Joy and Innocence
With their simple and cheerful appearance, daisies symbolize innocence, purity, and new beginnings. They are a delightful choice for sending smiles and best wishes on various occasions.
Gerbera Daisies: Radiating Cheerfulness and Colorful Delight
These large, colorful flowers are a modern and vibrant choice for Miami flower delivery services. They exude happiness, playfulness, and positivity, making them popular for birthday flowers in Miami and celebrations.
Carnations: Timeless Beauty and Enduring Affection
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Available in a wide range of colors, carnations are a symbol of fascination, love, and distinction. They are long-lasting and add a touch of elegance to any bouquet or arrangement.
Conclusion
If you want to say it with flowers, Miami’s flower delivery scene offers many unique and exquisite floral choices that reflect the city’s diverse culture and tropical allure. From the elegance of orchids to the boldness of Proteas and the tropical splendor of Heliconias, these extraordinary blooms add a touch of magic to any occasion. So, the next time you wish to send flowers to Miami, consider BloomsyBox for exceptional floral choices that will undoubtedly leave a lasting impression and bring a sense of wonder and beauty to the recipient’s day.
For many people, their hair is part of their identity. That means hair loss can have a severe effect on their self-esteem. They might try oils, creams, and even lifestyle changes to reverse the change and restore their hair to how it once was. Those solutions don’t always yield ideal results, though; in those situations, there is only one real option for hair restoration: hair transplants.
What Are Hair Transplants?
A hair transplant is a surgical procedure involving moving hair follicles from one section of the scalp to the other. In the past, hair plugs were the only option, but the hair transplantation method has been refined over the years making hair plugs obsolete. These days, people have a couple of options when it comes to hair transplants, with the three most popular types being FUT, FUE, and DHI.
The FUE (follicular unit extraction) method is the most popular and involves grafting healthy hair follicles from the head and then implanting them into the troublesome area. The DHI (direct hair implantation) method is very similar to this, only it is a newer method that involves using a surgical pen.
FUT (follicular unit transplant) is a hair transplantation method only usually used for those who need a lot of hair restoration. It involves grafting a piece of the skin (rather than individual follicles) and then implanting it onto the thinning/balding area.
Why Do People Get Hair Transplants?
The main reason people get hair transplants is to restore confidence after hair loss. People lose their hair for several reasons. It might be due to a medical condition, excess stress, genetics, or age. It tends to affect men more than women, with around one-fifth of men experiencing significant hair loss by the time they reach 20 years of age.
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A hair transplant gives you back the hair you lost in a natural, effective way. Instead of using creams or putting on wigs, it allows you to grow hair from the scalp once more. For many, the procedure is more than worth it.
Who Makes a Good Candidate for Hair Transplantations?
Almost anyone can get a hair transplant. The procedure has been refined over the years. Nowadays, the surgery is low-risk and produces natural-looking results. The surgery itself takes between four to eight hours, and recovery is not too difficult.
Most patients with hair loss make good candidates for a hair transplant. Candidates need to be generally healthy, have experienced hair loss, and have a donor area with healthy hair growing through. It’s also important for the candidate to be realistic with their expectations.
You might not be a good candidate for a hair transplant if you have an illness like liver failure, heart disease, hemophilia, and diabetes. Also, those who have reactions to anesthesia will likely not be able to get a hair transplant as the anesthetic is part of the surgical procedure.
Hair Transplants: What to Expect
While hair transplantations are a relatively risk-free, easy procedure, it’s important to know what you’re getting into before deciding whether it’s right for you. The process of a hair transplant is a journey; you won’t come out of the surgery with a full head of hair! Here is what to expect.
The Consultation
Consultation is one of the most important stages in the hair transplant journey. It involves a conversation between you and a hair transplant surgeon in which you discuss the procedure and overall expectations. The surgeon will examine your hair, asking questions about what you want from the surgery and your overall lifestyle. At this point, you have the opportunity to ask questions and learn what will go ahead, including what the surgery entails and how long you’ll need to recover. You’ll also determine the cost of the procedure, which can range from £2000 to £15000, depending on the individual case. The consultation may take place in a different area than your actual surgery; for example, you can get a consultation for Hair Transplants in Dubai and then have the actual surgery at Harley Street in London, where there’s a purpose-built surgery clinic.
The Surgery
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The hair transplant surgery itself takes between four and eight hours. Most patients are given a local anesthetic, meaning they will stay awake during the procedure but will not feel any pain.
Recovery
Initial recovery takes anywhere between 10 to 14 days, during which time the stitches usually get removed. After that, the process of hair growth begins. It usually takes around 6 months for patients to see new hair coming through, taking up to 18 months for full results. After this, results last a lifetime.
The surgeon will tell you what you can and can’t do during recovery. For example, you may have to avoid exercise, sunlight, and hair washing immediately following the surgery.
Are There Any Risks?
Like with any surgical procedure, yes – there are risks. The risks involved with hair transplantations include bleeding, infection, and the loss of the original hair (although this often grows back). The surgeon will always discuss the risks with you in-depth before you go through with the procedure. It’s also worth remembering that the success rate is very high.
The Benefits of Hair Transplants
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It’s important to weigh up the pros and cons of a hair transplant; getting surgery is a big deal, after all. If you do decide to go through with it, here are the main benefits:
The restoration of confidence
Self-esteem takes a huge hit when a person loses their hair, as hair and confidence are linked. With a hair transplant, you will feel more confident in your body once more.
Natural-looking results
Unlike the hair plugs that took place from the 1950s to the early 2000s, hair transplants these days produce natural-looking results with minimal scarring.
It Lasts a Lifetime
One of the most significant benefits of hair transplantations is that they last forever. It makes a great alternative to wearing wigs. With wigs, a person has to put them on and remove them physically; with a hair transplant, it’s just like having your own natural hair. After all, it’s using your hair follicles to grow your new locks!
Hair Transplants: Restoring Confidence with Natural Results
Hair transplants have come a long way over the years. They are no longer unnatural-looking like the hair plugs of the 20th century. Nowadays, the advanced surgical method means those suffering from hair loss can restore their hair in a natural manner. In turn, people can gain back their confidence.
Complaining is gender-linked behavior. John Gottman says women make 85% of complaints in a relationship, while men complain 15% in heterosexual relationships. When done well, it is the secret to better emotional connections (and I’ll explain how to do it below).
An effective complaint
Gottman’s concept of “complaining” refers to expressing one’s concerns or grievances in a healthy and constructive manner. Complaining can contribute to a stronger, more beneficial relationship when done effectively.
It involves six steps here at Couples Therapy Inc.
Take a situation in which a wife complains that her husband took the dog out but didn’t wipe its wet feet when he let it back in.
An effective complaint might look like this:
Wave the white flag – You initiate a softened startup by letting your partner know that what you are about to say is not the beginning of a fight. You might compliment them for the very thing you also complain about (“Thanks so much for getting up with the dog every morning. It really helps me sleep in.”)
“I feel ___.” The second of the six steps involves identifying a feeling. (“I feel shocked when…” in our example).
What is your complaint? It is not enough to be global. It has to be about a particular thing. (“…when you let Spot off the leash, and he jumped on the bed with his wet feet.”)
Now what do you specifically want your partner to do? (“Before you let him off, will you wipe his feet?”)
“That would make me happy.” Let them know that you are complaining to make your life better, not just to complain. (“I’d really appreciate you doing that.”)
The Four Magic Words. Pete Pearson, of the Developmental Model, talks about the four magic words, “What do you think?” We add that at the end to make it a conversation and not a mandate.
A complaint is brief and to the point
Put it all together, and an effective complaint is brief and to the point:
Trisha: “Roger, thanks so much for getting up with the dog every morning. It really helps me sleep in. I felt shocked awake when Spot jumped on the bed with his wet feet. Can you wipe his feet before letting him off the leash? I’d really appreciate it. What do you think?”
This communication raises her concern in a gentle, non-confrontational, and non-critical manner. It does something else, however.
Clearing the poop in the pipes
Underneath all metaphorical houses of love lies a symbolic pipe. Like a sewer pipe, it moves “poop” out of the house. Gottman encourages spouses to stay metaphorically “close” to that pipe and notice whether the relationship pipe smells foul.
When present, poop causes distance and movement away from emotional connection.
A complaint is one way to “flush” the “poop,” according to Gottman. The more complaints are made, the cleaner these pipes remain. When complaints are avoided, the poop backs up. When a fight ensues, it usually contains multiple complaints that can turn into criticism, and emotional flooding happens.
The way you express your needs, desires, or complaints really counts
Follow the six steps, and you are much more likely to elicit a positive response from your partner. The goal is to boost constructive dialogue and clear the air.
By starting a conversation with a softened approach, couples can set a positive tone for discussing sensitive but solvable topics. This will reduce defensiveness and increase the likelihood of productive problem-solving and understanding.
It is, however, only the first step.
Non-defensive response to complaints
How partners respond to complaints will validate or discredit the other partner’s perspectives. Trisha feels heard, respected, and understood if Roger does it effectively. He can do that by responding non-defensively. For example, Roger might say:
“Oh boy, Trisha, what a way to wake up! Sorry for the shock. Sure, I’ll wipe his feet from now on.”
Criticism vs. complaining
In contrast, criticism puts the problem inside Roger. It might sound like this:
“Roger, I can’t believe you are so inconsiderate. You let Spot off the leash without wiping his feet, and he jumped on the bed and woke me up with a start.”
Now the issue is no longer Spot’s wet feet. It is now Roger’s lack of consideration.
Criticism is challenging to respond to non-defensively. The “guilty partner” defends their innocence. Roger might say:
“It wasn’t me. The dog got away from me before I could do it!”
He might also get hostile and say,
“You can walk him from now on!”
Prevent conflict from escalating by using a gentle tone, devoid of harsh or accusatory language, by using “I feel” statements, avoiding “you always” or “you never,” and by avoiding criticism and contempt. In addition, finding something you can agree with in your partner’s complaint, as Roger did here (“What a way to wake up!”), allows your partner to feel heard and validated.
Expressing concerns or grievances in a healthy and constructive way drains the resentment pipe present in every relationship. It fosters open and honest communication. It also allows each of us to be more vulnerable to each other.
Why men should complain
During intensive couples therapy, men are often encouraged to voice their needs, frustrations, and disappointments to their partners in this constructive way. Sometimes I find that men are reluctant to complain because they expect hostile responses from their wives. It may also be an unconscious stance to keep relationship distance.
The “Happiness Recipe”
Husbands offer their wives “happiness recipes” through complaints. I have watched husbands brace for hostility and are pleasantly surprised to learn that their wives respond non-defensively. Most wives want to know how to make their spouses happy.
Withholding complaints means nurturing hidden resentment
These men learn that by refusing to complain, you will sometimes foster deep resentments that grow. He may believe that his marriage is inherently “unfair.” Deliberately withholding his own complaints may be an attempt to stop his wife from doing so through his “noble stoic example.” He then might respond angrily when she eventually complains (because, of course, she is unaware of the hidden “Stoic’s Agreement”).
Partners sometimes struggle to air their grievances directly and ask for specific behavior changes. For some, it exposes the same resentments they hold onto.
Solvable vs perpetual problems and complaining
It is worth noting that a soft start-up is just one element of effective communication and works on solvable, concrete problems. Other approaches are needed for perpetual problems. Complaints are designed to create an environment where both partners feel heard, respected, and understood. For this reason, they are important for both men and women to incorporate as a regular part of their disclosures.
In a quick Google search, it’s estimated that only about 18% of people save their first kiss for marriage. Concluding the number of weird looks Ben and I received leading up to our marriage, I suspect that number is even lower. As a teenager, I never went on a date. Partially because no one ever asked me out. Partly because I probably wasn’t ready, and the Lord knew best. I always prayed to date and marry one person. When Ben and I met, we weren’t a “love at first glance” couple. He loved Information Technology and video games. I loved to dance and all things aesthetic. He could be seen on the embarrassingly funny and nerdy ads for the college help desk, while I could run the trails and recruit dancers for my team. Before Ben knew what hit him, he was my dance partner. And before I knew what hit me, I was going on my first date with a guy I never thought about dating but whom I would eventually marry.
Five years later, on July 3rd, 2023, Ben and I got married. And on that day, we had our very first kiss. I think the people in the crowd were more anxious and excited than us at that moment! Nevertheless, saving that part of ourselves and the rest of our bodies was worth it, and I would love to share with you three benefits or reasons why.
1. Saving your first kiss until marriage allows you to focus on friendship.
Flashback to 2017. The month was August, and the foyer of Ohio Christian University grew humid. Attempting to recruit dancers for my dance team, a friend I’d met the year before brought Ben to my table. “Are you interested in joining Movements From the Heart?” I asked confidently. His gaze barely met my vision. But before I could say anymore, he was gone. “That’s just Ben,” my friend consoled. He can be a bit shy. That’s okay, I thought. “You can meet him later,” she offered, filling the empty and awkward spaces with her voice. Less than a year later, I searched the university for mission trip companions. I never imagined meeting Ben yet again, but here I was, asking, “Have we met before? Aren’t you the guy who ran away from my dance table?” In the blink of an eye, Ben and I clicked. I’d surrendered my desire to be in a relationship with God, and Ben wasn’t looking for anything now. We’re safe, I thought. Little did I realize God was in control.
Flash forward to July 2018. Ben and I had been “talking” for a month, and by “talking,” I mean sending books of texts to each other every day. I’d never been pursued before, but I knew something about this was right. We decided to date but broke up in September because we couldn’t get along. On paper, he was the perfect match. I didn’t understand and was devastated. I even wrote a journal entry telling God I was sorry for praying to meet and marry one man and save my first kiss until marriage because it was stupid. But dear reader, please know that’s not true if this is you. It’s not impossible, and those dreams certainly aren’t stupid. God hears you, and they can come true.
Over the next few months, Ben and I remained in touch. He was in my dance group, but more than that, we began to foster friendship. Something we both missed the first time around. And as the laughter grew, so did the chemistry. By December 2018, we knew it was time to define the relationship and began dating again. Because Ben and I decided to save our first kiss until marriage, it helped us continually focus on our relationship’s friendship. While yes, there were many, many, many times we wanted to break that rule, holding off forced us to focus on what we would need every day for the rest of our lives: friendship. And that’s something we still believe to this day was worth it.
2. Saving your first kiss until marriage builds self-control and respect.
I want to congratulate you if you’ve decided to save your first kiss until marriage, like Ben and I. It’s such a beautiful and God-honoring thing to do. However, I do want to note that it’s certainly not necessary. And certainly not easy. Many friends have kissed before marriage, and God loves them the same. Kissing before marriage isn’t a sin (unless it leads you into other things I’ll address in point 3) and can be fine for some couples. For Ben and I, however, saving our first kiss helped us to build respect and self-control for a lifetime. Because Ben and I had different struggles mentally and physically going into dating, we wanted to be attentive to one another’s needs. Removing physical expectations like kissing or having heated make-out sessions allowed us to exercise the fruits of the spirit and deeply love one another, not lust or infatuation, but in love.
It’s noted the honeymoon phase of dating lasts about a year, and then things start to go downhill. But I’m here to tell you that after five years of dating, though Ben and I had our mountains and valleys, not mixing any form of sexual intimacy helped us to know one another truly. If you asked Ben or me about our favorite thing to do together while dating, we would both tell you talking and hanging out. Because when you’re not making out for hours, you’re usually talking or hanging out (come on, you know I’m right). And that is certainly what arrives with marriage. Being transparent and open with my husband has only benefitted us on this new road we’re walking. And the same has gone for him. Not kissing until marriage allowed Ben and me time to learn and focus on each other. From behaviors to struggles and likes and dislikes, we became informed in various ways.
Suppose you’re going to wait until marriage. In that case, we recommend reading books like The Great Sex Rescue, Not Yet Married, The Mingling of Souls, and Getting Ready for Marriage and participating in pre-engagement counseling. Diving into deep questions before engagement or marriage will especially help in the challenging days to come.
3. Saving your first kiss until marriage can help reduce sexual temptation.
The third benefit of saving your first kiss until marriage may seem obvious, but I still felt it was important to mention. As Christians, Ben and I both knew we wanted to save intimacy for marriage, not just because it sounded good but because we knew it was what God commanded of us. While God doesn’t condemn kissing before marriage, he does note sex is reserved for marriage. Unfortunately, whether we’d like to acknowledge it or not, kissing can open the gates to sexual intimacy—even for the best Christians. Of course, those around us didn’t understand. We were called petty, immature, stupid, and guaranteed to have a horrible wedding night (as if that was their business anyways).
While our first official kiss in front of the people at our wedding wasn’t magical and didn’t include fireworks, those first few kisses are memories I will hold in my heart for the rest of my life. Not because they were perfect or the most romantic thing in the world, but because they represented something special we could share together and honor God through. Saving your first kiss until marriage doesn’t make you a saint or a better Christian than anyone else. It also doesn’t mean you won’t still struggle with the same desires and temptations that those who kiss do. But if I could offer you one closing thought, it would be this: Saving your first kiss until marriage is a bittersweet gift. Sweet because it’s sacred, bitter because once it’s gone, it’s gone. You’ll never be able to replicate that moment again. But at the end of the day, it’ll be worth it.
Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk,ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website atamberginter.com.
If I have learned anything over the years, we need each other. We all need friends. Whether you have fifty, ten, or two friends, you know how much those relationships mean to you. Friendship is celebrated in Scripture. Proverbs 27:9 says,
My friendships mean the world to me, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that although I don’t have as many “friends” as I did in my younger years, my friendships are even stronger. As life changes and shifts in different directions, it can be hard to stay as close to someone as you’d like or thought you’d be able to. It takes mutual care and consistency for friendships to last through many seasons, and it’s also hard to make new friends as life shifts you into new locations, seasons of life, and workplaces. I’m part of a generation that has seen the world both with and without social media. And while it has been fun to stay connected to people I have gone through seasons of life with, the truth is, without social media, many of those friendships would have naturally dissolved already.
I have always felt there are essentially three categories for different levels of friendships: moment, seasonal, and core. Moment friends are the ones that stick for a moment in your life. Seasonal friends walk through life seasons with you: work friends, college buddies, or small group friendships. Core friends are, in my opinion, lifers. These may be considered best friends, where you both work hard to keep the friendship running whether you see each other often or not. So, what happens when you have to move, start a new job, or join a new church? How do you find new friends as lift shifts all around you? I have a few ideas…
Look Around You
2019 to 2020 were two of the hardest and most challenging years I’ve experienced. Not only did we all go through the pandemic in 2020, but before the end of 2019, I found out my job of 11 years was coming to an end. This meant a change in my workplace, the patient population I worked with, my co-workers, and, ultimately, where I lived. I was nervous as I changed jobs in 2019 and settled into a new home in February 2020. I relied on my core friends for prayer, talks, and advice. I knew my world was changing, and while God prepared me mentally and spiritually, it was a really hard process, the difference in my surroundings during such a short timeframe.
Because of this change, old work friendships shifted, and some new work friendships grew. It takes a while to feel a groove, and I was so grateful to have made a few friendships in that timeframe for help, support, and guidance in the new workplace. Since 2020’s ending, and through a series of Godwinks, I actually changed my job setting again, which opened the doors for me to work back in an area close to my heart and develop even more friendships. Have you recently moved and are now trying to find a new friend where you work or go to church? Remember not to put so much pressure on friendships since we know different categories of friends exist. Sometimes God puts people on your path for a short amount of time and other times, it’s years on end. Remember, you are placed in settings for a reason. Look around you to see what and who God may want to impact through your presence in that place.
Reach Out to Someone
Keeping friendships going is a two-way street. It’s really hard, especially as you age, to stay in close relationships with all of your friends. It also feels that people have less initiative to hang out or reach out than ever before, especially since the pandemic. Giving grace to people should always be our first step but also take inventory of your interactions and history to see if that friendship may have run its course or if it just needs a little more attention.
I like to think about what I would want in a friend if I were going through a new season of life. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes can really help you to take a deep breath and not take friendship changes too personally. If a cherished friendship changes, reach out to find someone in your current season of life. The last time I moved, I attended community group events held through my church to meet people. I had to reach out, sign up, and go to an event filled with potential strangers that shared my faith to open the door for me to make more friends. If you want a friend to ask you to hang out, reach out to them. If you want to go to a certain place or do an activity, reach out to someone you think shares your same interests. I love being invited to activities by friends, but I have also found it fun to be the initiator. Being the friend you want will always put you in the best potential possible to make true friends. You might be the new friend they have prayed for.
Volunteer
I have met some of my favorite friends at a volunteering activity. I met one of my best friends of the past 20+ years while we volunteered at a college function and found out how much we had in common. Volunteering your time to serve others at church or in your community will put you in circles with people who share your values and beliefs. Friendships thrive when you have more in common. As life shifts around you, remain open to discovering new interests: running groups, knitting circles, the greeting team, or children’s ministry at your church. I have loved serving at churches I’ve attended over the years. The people I grow closest with usually serve next to me. If you’re single, like me, and want to meet more people at single’s events, you could volunteer to check people in and put names on familiar faces. Or, if you are new to a church, you could volunteer on the greeting team, which could put you in a location to see and meet more of the people who attend!
So, as life shifts, remember finding new friends is all about being open, trying new things, looking around, and thinking of others more than ourselves. Don’t be afraid to feel lonely. Use it to grow your ability to empathize, reach out, and love others. Loving others is our calling as Christians, after all:
“…Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35 NIV)
