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Young married couple and new parents to an adopted daughter, Millie Bobby Brown and Jake Bongiovi have recently sparked a debate over their parenting.
After a viral paparazzi moment last week fueled speculation about their marriage, the 21-year-old actress seemed to subtly respond.
Her attempt, however, didn’t sway fans, with many commenting, “He is definitely not coming out of this.”
On Monday, November 17, Millie shared a carousel of eyebrow-raising Instagram images that only added to the ongoing chatter.
Image credits: milliebobbybrown
Millie Bobby Brown arrived at The Ivy Soho Brasserie ahead of the UK screening of Stranger Things 5 on November 13, accompanied by her husband, daughter, and close friend and co-star Noah Schnapp.
Upon entering the venue, Brown was seen holding her infant daughter tightly against her chest, covered with a cloth.
The 23-year-old Rockbottom star led his wife forward as a crowd of photographers closed in.
Image credits: milliebobbybrown
As she moved past them, Millie, wearing a visible frown, firmly stated, “I am holding my baby, do not play with me right now.”
Meanwhile, Noah was seen carrying a large baby bag inside the restaurant, while Jake remained empty-handed, even flashing a brief smile at the cameras.
Image credits: milliebobbybrown
Jake was quickly slammed online, with many of Brown’s fans labeling him “passive,” even in moments where he should be protecting his family.
“Noah carried her bag, while her husband simply smiled at the paparazzi. It’s shameful that your friend does more for you than your husband,” one disappointed user wrote.
Amid the growing online discussion, the new mother took to Instagram to share a subtle response.
Image credits: milliebobbybrown
Her carousel, consisting of seven images, mostly captured moments from the Stranger Things London premiere, including a photo with Schnapp and a mirror selfie with Jake.
The last two slides, however, only fueled more controversy, sparking questions about Bongiovi’s parenting and attitude toward his family.
Image credits: milliebobbybrown
In the sixth image, the Enola Holmes alum was seen pushing a stroller on a cobbled sidewalk in an oversized black trench and messy bun, looking visibly tired.
The final image featured Jake lounging in an adult-sized BabyBjörn bouncer at Babylist, holding a cup of iced coffee and staring directly into the camera.
The caption simply read, “cheeeeeese.”
Image credits: milliebobbybrown
In a viral X post with over 3 million views and 76,000 likes, one user criticized the latest images, writing, “She’s not helping the man with those allegations I’m crying.”
Several others in the comment section seemed to agree, with one sarcastically adding, “we should cyberbully men into acting right all the time!”
“Imagine being in that situation and getting zero help..” a third user chimed in.
Image credits: milliebobbybrown
“Lmao she is absolutely making it ten times worse without even trying.”
However, some fans rushed to defend the couple’s dynamic, noting that as a mom, Millie is “more protective” and likes to “take the lead” in certain situations.
“People were too hard on him….What if she is a more hands on Mom….sometimes as Moms we are at ease when we handle things,” wrote one user.
Image credits: milliebobbybrown
While Brown’s intentions behind posting the images remain unclear, it’s still debated whether it was a jab at the online speculation aimed at Jake or a cryptic “evidence” of his behavior.
The young couple tied the knot in early 2024 and announced the adoption of their daughter in August of this year.
Image credits: milliebobbybrown
While speaking to British Vogue as the magazine’s December cover star, the actress opened up for the first time about becoming a mother and how life has changed since her daughter’s arrival.
Millie told the outlet, “She’s taught us so much already. Perspective is a huge thing. The smaller things in life are so much more precious. Our days are filled with lots of cuddles and laughter and love. It’s just endless joy.”
Image credits: clipreport7
When asked about Jake’s involvement in parenting, Brown shared, “We are 50-50 on everything.”
“That’s why I’m so grateful to have partnered with him in this life. He is just the most amazing dad.”
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The couple has not yet shared their daughter’s name, and her face has remained hidden from the spotlight “until she’s ready to decide for herself.”
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Today's representative line comes from Capybara James (most recently previously). It's representative, not just of the code base, but of Goodhart's Law: when a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure. Or, "you get what you measure".
If, for example, you decide that code coverage metrics are how you're going to judge developers, then your developers are going to ensure that the code coverage looks great. If you measure code coverage, then you will get code coverage- and nothing else.
That's how you get tests like this:
Mockito.verify(exportRequest, VerificationModeFactory.atLeast(0)).failedRequest(any(), any(), any());
This test passes if the function exportRequest.failedRequest is called at least zero times, with any input parameters.
Which, as you might imagine, is a somewhat useless thing to test. But what's important is that there is a test. The standards for code coverage are met, the metric is satisfied, and Goodhart marks up another win on the board.
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Remy Porter
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This gallery brings together memes that turn the smallest moments into life-or-death missions.
Risky questions, questionable stunts, power moves that make no sense and the occasional “why would anyone do this” moment. Whether you’re an adrenaline junkie or just someone who gets a thrill from beating the microwave timer, you’re in the right place. Some of these aren’t high stakes, but that’s the funniest part.
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Ryder
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One of the things that makes legacy code legacy is that code, over time, rots. Some of that rot comes from the gradual accumulation of fixes, hacks, and kruft. But much of the rot also comes from the tooling going unsupported or entirely out of support.
For example, many years ago, I worked in a Visual Basic 6 shop. The VB6 IDE went out of support in April, 2008, but we continued to use it well into the next decade. This made it challenging to support the existing software, as the IDE frequently broke in response to OS updates. Even when we started running it inside of a VM running an antique version of Windows 2000, we kept running into endless issues getting projects to compile and build.
A fun side effect of that: the VB6 runtime remains supported. So you can run VB6 software on modern Windows. You just can’t modify that software.
Greta has inherited an even more antique tech stack. She writes, “I often wonder if I’m the last person on Earth encumbered with this particular stack.” She adds, “The IDE is long-deprecated from a vendor that no longer exists- since 2002.” Given the project started in the mid 2010s, it may have been a bad choice to use that tech-stack.
It’s not as bad as it sounds- while the technology and tooling is crumbling ruins, the team culture is healthy and the C-suite has given Greta wide leeway to solve problems. But that doesn’t mean that the tooling isn’t a cause of anguish, and even worse than the tooling- the code itself.
“Some things,” Greta writes, “are ‘typical bad’” and some things “are ‘delightfully unique’ bad.”
For example, the IDE has a concept of “designer” files, for the UI, and “code behind” files, for the logic powering the UI. The IDE frequently corrupts its own internal state, and loses the ability to properly update the designer files. When this happens, if you attempt to open, save, or close a designer file, the IDE pops up a modal dialog box complaining about the corruption, with a “Yes” and “No” option. If you click “No”, the modal box goes away- and then reappears because you’re seeing this message because you’re on a broken designer file. If you click “Yes”, the IDE “helpfully” deletes pretty much everything in your designer file.
Nothing about the error message indicates that this might happen.
The language used is a dialect of C++. I say “dialect” because the vendor-supplied compiler implements some cursed feature set between C++98 and C++11 standards, but doesn’t fully conform to either. It’s only capable of outputting 32-bit x86 code up to a Pentium Pro. Using certain C++ classes, like std::fstream, causes the resulting executable to throw a memory protection fault on exit.
Worse, the vendor supplied class library is C++ wrappers on top of an even more antique Pascal library. The “class” library is less an object-oriented wrapper and more a collection of macros and weird syntax hacks. No source for the Pascal library exists, so forget about ever updating that.
Because the last release of the IDE was circa 2002, running it on any vaguely modern environment is prone to failures, but it also doesn’t play nicely inside of a VM. At this point, the IDE works for one session. If you exit it, reboot your computer, or try to close and re-open the project, it breaks. The only fix is to reinstall it. But the reinstall requires you to know which set of magic options actually lets the install proceed. If you make a mistake and accidentally install, say, CORBA support, attempting to open the project in the IDE leads to a cascade of modal error boxes, including one that simply says, “ABSTRACT ERROR” (“My favourite”, writes Greta). And these errors don’t limit themselves to the IDE; attempting to run the compiler directly also fails.
But, if anything, it’s the code that makes the whole thing really challenging to work with. While the UI is made up of many forms, the “main” form is 18,000 lines of code, with absolutely no separation of concerns. Actually, the individual forms don’t have a lot of separation of concerns; data is shared between forms via global variables declared in one master file, and then externed into other places. Even better, the various sub-forms are never destroyed, just hidden and shown, which means they remember their state whether you want that or not. And since much of the state is global, you have to be cautious about which parts of the state you reset.
Greta adds:
There are two files called main.cpp, a Station.cpp, and a Station1.cpp. If you were to guess which one owns the software’s entry point, you would probably be wrong.
But, as stated, it’s not all as bad as it sounds. Greta writes: “I’m genuinely happy to be here, which is perhaps odd given how terrible the software is.” It’s honestly not that odd; a good culture can go a long way to making wrangling a difficult tech stack happy work.
Finally, Greta has this to say:
We are actively working on a .NET replacement. A nostalgic, perhaps masochistic part of me will miss the old stack and its daily delights.
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Remy Porter
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I’ll answer for my parent. She had an accident. Got a brain injury and completely changed due to the brain damage. She went from the most loving mother to a complete narcissist and I was the target. Nothing can be done to change it. We tried therapy etc. doctors say it’s a side effect of the brain damage.
I could never hate my kids, they are my purpose in life. But I can speak towards my mother not liking me and the answer isn’t totally clear but it has a foundation of mormonism and me not accepting it as a young child. We rarely speak and if we do she’s just gossiping about whoever and or telling some sad story, it’s just so toxic and stupid.
Parenting isn’t just challenging, it’s a full-blown emotional workout. You’re constantly giving up your space, your sleep, your time, and let’s be honest, sometimes your sanity. So when your child refuses to listen after all that sacrifice, it hits hard. That mix of exhaustion and feeling unappreciated? It’s real. But it doesn’t make you a bad parent, it just makes you human.
Sometimes, resentment creeps in when our expectations don’t line up with reality. Maybe you were a straight-A student and just assumed your child would follow the same academic path. When they don’t share your love for math or science, it can feel frustrating. But here’s the thing: expecting your child to be a mini version of you isn’t fair to them. They’re their own little person with different interests. And that’s totally okay.
Dad here. Love my son more than anything (he’s in preschool). During the tough times, like when he’s not behaving, I start to really miss our days as a childless couple. Other parents told me the same thing. But I in no way resent him. Wife and I made the choice to have a child.
I’m by no means the best dad. But I really try. My biggest worry is he’ll grow up to resent me for whatever reason (unfounded fear, I guess). I just want him to be a happy, productive member of society.
Hate isn’t the right word, but sadness and disappointment would be more accurate.
Basically, I’m the child of 2 parents who are very low/no empathy. Assumed it was because of their traumatic childhoods (and that’s likely partially true, but not entirely).
Gave birth to 2 kids, 1 of whom is similar to my parents in lack of empathy. Appears to be a genetic component that doesn’t affect me, but I passed it on nonetheless.
I have a daughter she is almost 30 and has a daughter of almost 2. She is a narcissist and her goal in life is making me as miserable as possible. I tried everything, therapy, love unconditionally, everything I could do. But all she wants is fighting, cursing, setting my family members up against me. And money, when she needs money she will text me and I am happy to hear from her. And although I am on a fixed income I give her everything she wants.
I only saw my grand daughter twice when she needed money for a dryer and another expensive thing. As a child she was a handful. Had to place her in a group home for teens with odd.
I had an accident recently and have traumatic brain damage. She can’t deal with it and broke of contact yet again. Because I sent messages of love and that is not what she want. I feel sad because she leaves a trail of broken relationships behind her, always fighting with neighbors, people on the street, her own daughter (cps is involved, everyday is someone with them) she refuses to see her sister.
I know the title says parents who truly hate their kids, I don’t hate her, I love her. But it hurts so much, so much pain and grief.
I wonder where I went wrong. So many self doubts and regrets.
Other times, it’s not even about the child, it’s about our own emotional baggage. Unresolved issues from our past can sneak into our parenting without us realizing. Maybe we’re reacting more to our own hurt than our child’s behavior. When that happens, it’s important to pause and check in with ourselves. We all carry scars, but passing them down unintentionally? That’s where healing needs to begin.
Not a parent, but the child. Mother resents me, I dislike her.
It’s a combination of things, really. Firstly, I’m the result of my mother losing her virginity at 21 to a man she hated during a one-night stand after being dumped by her first love. She came from a pretty strict Irish Catholic family, and there are family members who refuse to meet me because I was conceived/born out of wedlock. Even though she later married that first love (the man who raised me/I consider to my be dad), I am a walking reminder of a shame she never washed off and something that ruined her life.
She has been depressed since her mid-teens, but is also very selfish, vindictive, childish and quick-tempered. She resents me for recovering from the same depression and massive weight gain/insecurities she went through, for going to college (she alternates between saying she never wanted to go to college or saying that she was never “allowed” – depending on how much of a victim she feels that day), for the good relationship I have with my siblings and for being young and (relatively) happy in general. It was mainly her attitude towards me that let me know I was different from my siblings (i.e. had a different father) years before my step-dad told me when I was 11.
One of my daughters sees right through me and knows I favor the other one. And I do. There’s no doubt in my mind that I do, and that the other daughter knows.
So, now what do I do? I know for a fact that my father loved my sister and barely tolerated my presence. This affected me very much through my adolescent development.
I have decided to engage with the daughter who sees me as favoring the other in some kind of hobby so we can grow closer together over time. That’s what it’s going to have to be.
That’s the best thing I have come up with.
I don’t really like my stepson. It may not count because he’s not technically my child, but I’m the only father figure he’s ever known and I feel sort of a jerk for not liking him more. To put it simply, he’s the kind of kid that I hated when I was growing up. He never listens and always thinks he’s smarter than adults even though his grades are bad and he can barely write. He’s the kind of kid who thinks he can talk his way out of anything, no matter how blatantly wrong he is. I was always very academic growing up, went to a magnet school, and kept an intelligent circle of friends. My stepson just reminds me so much of those mouthy, stupid kids I used to look down on that I find it laborious to even like him, let alone love him. The only reason I put on a facade of affection towards him is for his mother’s sake.
Early in our marriage, I tried to help him get on a better path. My stepson used to get caught cheating on tests and hiding his homework assignments from us, resulting in very embarrassing meetings with his teacher. My wife and I used to fight about it… a lot. My wife is really a wonderful person, but she comes form a culture where education is not really valued and she definitely exhibits those sentiments. Trying to get my stepson to change his habits became a 2v1 battle because his mother would always criticize me for being too harsh or disciplinarian. To her, childhood should be about being happy and having fun.
Today, quite frankly, I’ve stopped caring and am much happier for it. My wife raised her son by herself for 9 years before I came along and I’ve realized that I can’t break 9 years of habit. I still don’t like my stepson much. However, I fake mild affection for him so as not to destroy his self-esteem. Again, this is more for his mother’s sake than his own. Truthfully, I’m just counting the days till he’s out the door. I’m not terribly worried about him. He’s mastered the art of making people believe his bs and in the state of today’s world I know that’ll get him pretty far.
Then there’s the lovely chaos of developmental phases. One day they’re sweet and cooperative, the next they’re moody, slamming doors, and saying “whatever” to everything. It’s not always personal, it’s often just adolescence. Understanding these phases can save us from spiraling into blame. Kids are figuring themselves out, and sometimes that means pushing boundaries. It’s bumpy, but it’s normal.
I resent my son sometimes. I had him at 19 and his father waited until he was 4 to engage in his life. However over the years his dad fills my son’s head with anything my son wants to hear and never follows through. His dad works under the table so that child support doesn’t auto deduct his pay allowing his dad to rank up10k in back payments. Now here is the part that frustrates me. At school or upon meeting someone. My son likes to throw my husband and I under the bus. I am unable to work so my husband ( his step dad) works and supports him. My son’s biological father will buy my son xbox,iphone, 3ds etc and get upset when I need to take them away from my son. I tell my son he can earn them back etc. What really makes me resentful is my son tells everyone how terrible we are. Never once has he said anything about his dad. this dad constantly breaks promises. Doesn’t show up or call during a planned visitation. Tells my son he can move in with me anytime he wants. Then tells me he can’t afford to behind my sons back. My husband has been 100 percent paying my sons food clothing shelter alone for 8 years without my sons father paying us a dime. His father also found it acceptable while working under the table to collect unemployment. The only thing my sons father buts for my son is an electronic device to hold over my head. (he bought item how can i punish my son from said item?) I find it very difficult to not feel resentful towards my sons attitude about my husband and I. We cannot afford expensive electronics. We do buy him everything he needs and he always gets what we can do for birthdays and christmas. I do try to remember that dad is making himself look good but my sons attitude is difficult.
Needed to create a throw away for this…
Let me preface this with saying I do love my son very much, but I do feel resentful at times. It’s not his fault, I recognize that, and I take that into mind with each interaction I do to try and make him not feel it.
My son was diagnosed with autism earlier this year. I had been trying to get him diagnosed since he was 2 or 3, he is now 5.
But it doesn’t change that while I had no idea what was going on, my son was very… independent. He didn’t enjoy cuddling much ( that’s changed a bit thankfully ), he didn’t like it when we would try to interact with him, to play with him, he would just take his toy, turn, and go back to usually flipping it around and clapping.
He is not conversationally verbal, though he does speak. He lets me know when he wants something, such as lunch or if he needs to go to the bathroom, but I can’t ask my son how school was, or why he’s sad and get an answer. And it’s heartbreaking. I recently watched Mr. Holland’s Opus, and the scene where the wife/mother is screaming at him because their son can’t hear, and she just comes unhinged at Holland. Even though they are different scenarios, the message was the same “I want to talk to my son”. I’m not a terribly empathic person. i don’t usually relate to movies or songs… and that scene got me to break down crying, because I know that frustration… and I know the pain of not being able to give your child what he needs because you can’t understand him.
We have been working on getting him the therapies he needs ( speech, occupation, and ABA ), and hope to see improvement soon.
My fiance explained it in a better way than I could, with how my resentment is. I, like many parents, envisioned a different future for my child. My fiance likened it to wanting to go to Paris your whole life. You prepare, you plan your trip so perfectly, you know exactly what you’re going to go, when you’re going to do it. Everything is great.
And then your plane lands in Rome. Is Rome terrible? Absolutely not. It has some amazing sights. But my plan was Paris. And I understand that this is something I need to get past, that it’s not a problem with my son. But knowing things logically, and doing things emotionally don’t always coexist.
I have two boys, and I love them both very much. My 14 year old is a great kid with an awesome sense of humor. Very smart, self reliant, trustworthy, cares about other people (for a 14 year old, anyhow). Lazy, sometimes snotty, typical 14, but yeah, I like the kid.
The other is 16. Also very smart, and very, very self-centered (even for a 16 year old). Liar. Thoughtlessly treats the rest of the family like trash. Blames everyone for his own mistakes.
Part of me knows he’s got issues (depression definitely – he’s in therapy regularly with a therapist he really likes). And part of me knows he’s 16 and 16 year olds are often self-centered and think they are invincible. And yet, when he lies to my face, calls me a jerk when I tell him to do something (from empty the dishwasher to don’t smoke in my house), when I get yet another call about him being in trouble, when all he cares about is what he wants…yeah, sometimes I really don’t like him and resent the hell out of him.
Trying to be the grownup here. Spend time with him, do things with him, go out of my way to find good things to say, trying to navigate these years with him. He’s never been easy, but not until 8th grade did he become generally unlikable.
Oy. Parenting is not for the squeamish. I’m not proud of myself when I dislike him or resent him, but there comes a point where attitude and behavior really get to me.
Doing the best I can with the kid I’ve been dealt. Trying to appreciate the times when I do like him. Hoping some day he’ll grow up.
Let’s be real: resentment is heavy. And as parents, you’re already juggling a lot. Holding onto anger? That’s like lugging around a backpack full of bricks for no reason. Letting go isn’t about being noble, it’s about giving your heart a break. And oh, it deserves one.
When you set resentment down, calm can walk in. It creates room for better decision-making and more thoughtful responses. More peace means less yelling, more listening, and gentler mornings.
I feel like my parents hate my brother. Something is wrong with him – he suffers from uncontrollable anger, mood swings, depression. He is also a jerk – he still lives at home, is very disrespectful of them, never apologies to them, steals money/cigs from them, has his two creepy friends come over EVERY night.
The negative behaviors started 3-4 years ago. My parents probably put in effort for 2 years – taking him to different doctors and therapists. Although his behavior basically is steady thanks to medication (perhaps 1 violent outburst every 6 weeks), he’s still a jerk.
Aside from getting his meds adjusted as needed, my parents have genuinely stopped caring. I think they really resent his behavior/choices because this all went down went they were basically on the edge of “the best years”/close enough for retirement.
I don’t have kids but my boyfriend does… I find that I dislike them sometimes because they are so selfish and ‘me-centric’ (as are most kids). I’m not used to being selfless 100% of the time when they are around. I often wonder if they were MY kids, would I feel the same way?
Step mom here. I have three step kids and I absolutely have different feelings about them.
The youngest, my step daughter, is 4. She’s my little princess. She doesn’t remember a time without me around, I came into the picture when she was 1.
The middle, a boy, is 10. He’s a lot like his dad. Needs a lot of attention. Can be frustrating, but he is very curious and empathetic.
The oldest, a boy, 12, is my least favorite. I resent him a lot. He’s careless, insensitive, has rage issues (broke his hand punching a wall after he threw and broke his cellphone because he was pissed about a video game. Yes, we sent him to counseling.) and is an absolute slob (he keeps his room pristine. Anywhere else he just throws things anywhere he wants) He is the biggest pain in the neck. He always beats up on his brother, he doesn’t listen, complains and screams when he has to help around the house… yeah. In general, a nightmare. But when he wants to be, he is so clever and funny and cool. He can be a great kid, he just chooses to be a jerk. I resent him because he causes so much conflict when I KNOW he’s doing it just for fun. Part of it is his age, yes, but this has been building slowly since I met him (he was 8 when I met him).
We all have a great relationship, especially one-on-one. I love them all and care about them very much. But his negative behavior puts me on edge and definitely effects my attitude towards him. I’m much quicker to reprimand him than his siblings. I dread his negativity. Makes it harder to enjoy the good times.
You’ll even feel lighter: physically and mentally. Resentment has this way of draining your energy without you realizing. With it gone, you might finally feel rested again. Sleep gets deeper, stress feels smaller, and joy finds a way back in.
Even better? Your relationship with your child transforms. When you’re not stuck behind a cloud of disappointment, you start seeing the wonderful little human in front of you. That’s when real connection happens, the kind where a five-minute chat or a shared giggle feels like a warm hug for your soul.
Not a parent, but probably the resented child here.
My brother and I are close in age, and things were pretty good when we were younger. Maybe I was favored at the time. I don’t remember too much. But as I got older, a personality difference developed, and we clashed a lot.
A lot of it might have to do with the fact that my mom had trouble conceiving, and on top of her in laws giving her hell for not being the pefect catholic wife, I was wanted, but very expensive and the result of a lot of emotional trouble. And my mom’s a girly girl and wanted a perfect little princess to dress up and do girl things with. I ended up a tomboy with mostly male and tomboy friends, and had more in common with my brother in tastes and interests. This was at it’s worst in high school, when we fought endlessly over clothes (I was a hot topic girl and shopped from the men’s department everywhere else, and she bought me the frilliest clothes imagineable if she could). When it came to college majors, she refused help for everything except healthcare at a community college, and even then didn’t help when she promised.
Meanwhile, my brother, who came along easier and didn’t feel forced by family, ended up liking all the fancy stuff my mom does. She didn’t get her perfect Austen girl, but she got a wannabe Mr. Darcy. He bought the clothes she liked, liked going to fancy events, had the right friends, popular with the ladies, and got encouraged and all the financial help he asked for when it came to a college degree in theater rigging. She would help with his rent and grocery bills, but wouldn’t spot me twenty bucks for gas to drive to my internship an hour and a half away on a hard week where work got cancelled.
I know she loves me, but doesn’t like me. Okay, I can deal with it. But to the parents who do have obvious favorites, treat the kids equally. For the love of all that you find holy, don’t dish out assistance or punishments unevenly. We aren’t stupid, and it’s the easiest way to alienate at least one kid, maybe both if they’re close despite the issues.
My mother had 7 kids. My mother didn’t like the girls much and fawned over the boys. The result, 3 feminist women who don’t want kids. Hmmm . I wish people would stop having children because they think they must have them. Unloved kids become adults who feel unloveable.
I’m sure this is a question mostly aimed at young parents of actual children. I have 2 grown daughters. Growing up, one was incredibly mouthy, willful and was always pushing the limits. I mean from the first day, pretty much. The other one was very analytical and quiet and low key. But I mean, how can you not marvel at a little 10-month old who, when told not to touch the door lock on the car (olden day cars. Kids even rode in the front seats), would *have* to test if that included touching it wiiiiith(eyes on me, looking for any reaction) … her baby doll?? With…. her elbow?? With…. the BACK of her pinkie???
Now. All grown up. Now is the time if I were going to resent them, I’d try to do it now. They are both phenomenal. I know, all mums say that, but mine really are.
Here is the reason and the glory and the pain. They are **designed to take over**. They are younger (of course), smarter, taller, more beautiful, more talented, stronger, meaner and every step they take, takes them further away from me. Just like their first ones. And yet, already – way before I’ve been ready – I see roles changing.
When he was a baby, my brother once said something to my father about “when I grow up to be a man and you grow down to be a little boy…” And I’m almost at the growing down to a little girl stage. I think my daughters at least partially, at least part of the time, think I already have done.
And the reason I guess that I don’t resent that? I have a lot of faith in them and in the choices they make and steps they take. Not saying nobody puts a foot wrong! But they do self course correct more easily and quicker and with less drama than my generation.
And it’s a good thing, because my grandkids are mouthy and manipulative and sly and completely wonderful. And in another 20 years, they’ll be nipping at the heels of my daughters’ generation, ready for their turn.
When the anger clears, parenting feels joyful again. You start noticing the little things: bedtime giggles, spontaneous hugs, or a silly drawing meant just for you. That joy is what makes the hard days worth it. It reminds you why you chose to show up, even on the tough days.
So, where do you even begin? You start by admitting what you feel. You don’t have to slap on a smile and pretend everything’s fine. Naming your feelings actually takes their power away. It gives you the reins. If you’re tired, say it. If something hurt you, let it out. Owning your truth is bold, not broken.
I love both my kids, but at times, they annoy me.
They’re 4 and 6 and I strongly suspect they may be smarter than me. They challenge my wife and I constantly, fight us, undermine us, pit us against each other……
But they’re bloody awesome the rest of the time and that really does make up for the things they throw down. In a moment, I may be angry with them, or frustrated to the point of just needing to scream, but no, I can’t think of a time where I would say I’ve resented them or actively disliked either of them for more than a passing moment.
And beyond any of the rest of it, You don’t need to like your children to love them.
I think I’m the favoured child in these circumstances.
My dad prefers all MY hobbies, and the things I do to those my sister does, but maybe that’s because I’m a boy so my hobbies relate more. Either way, I kinda resent having to remind him that my sister does things worth congratulations as well as me. I’d even go so far as to say that she accomplishes more than me, but my dad doesn’t recognise it because I’m the boy and get more focus.
My dad tries to care about me as he does my sister but I know he favors her and I dont really care she’s a lot more alike him than I am and that works for them. My mom is stricter on me than my sister or brother just because I have a lot more health problems but as much as I’d like to say she favors me (we get along a lot more than me and my father) she favors my sister and my mentally challenged (like autistic but not) older brother (hes from from her first marriage).
My parents love me because I’m not nearly as much of a pain in the neck as my two older siblings my brother has bipolar and an anger something or another and my sister has a short fuse and I dont have anything so I’m easier to mull along.
I dont mind not being a favorite honestly, I’m a laid back guy and I just dont get mad its not my thing.
Next up: boundaries. And no, they’re not selfish: they’re sanity savers. Setting limits shows your child that your well-being matters too. Whether it’s asking for ten minutes of peace or expecting them to help with chores, boundaries build balance. And guess what? They also teach kids how to be thoughtful and respectful humans.
I actively dislike my step-daughter, or rather, the adult she’s become. She’s a militant feminist lesbian and pretty much has views that are entirely contrary to mine. She goes on and on about white male privilege, cis this and cis that, and generally vomits out tumblrisms every time she can. Despite the fact that she was raised in middle class white family, and was given everything she needed and wanted by white males (me and her real father). She just goes out of her way to be contrary all the time and is not generally a nice person now.
I’m an uncle, and my brother and I both agree that his son(3) is way cooler than his daughter(6). He is divorced and you can start to see the influence of his ex-wife on the daughter’s personality. She is whiny and high maintenance. His son is so carefree, energetic, and fun. Everyone loves being around him and playing with him. His daughter is just so wimpy and scared of everything.
My brother and I both love his kids equally, but we like his son so much more than his daughter.
Not the kids parent, but I actively hate my boyfriends nephew… Who I should probably add is only 2. This seems absurd I know, how can someone dislike someone that young, he’s barely a toddler. But this kid is terrible. He just points at things and grunts and the whole family beckons to his every call. He is so bratty. He is always grunting. Kids this age usually at least have a few words under their belt. He also tries to hurt people on purpose. It’s so creepy. Most kids will try to throw things at people and giggle, they think it’s a game. Not this kid. He looks you in the eye with the straightest creepiest face and throws things at you or hits you. He knows what he’s doing. He also does this to his little brother (only 8 months old). I should probably add I normally love kids. Just something about this kid irks me.
Now let’s talk about communication. Open conversations, awkward pauses, tough love, all of it. It might not always be smooth sailing, but being honest shows your kid that you respect them. And if things ever feel too heavy? Please, reach out. You don’t need to be a superhero to be a great parent. Whether it’s therapy, a heart-to-heart with a friend, or joining a support group, help is out there.
Mother got divorced shortly after I was born leading me to think I was a last ditch effort to save their failing marriage. Then she got pregnant with and married a guy that all but my oldest biological brother hated.he really didn’t like me and that led to my mom resenting me for putting a strain on her marriage.fast forward to last year,I found out he was cheating on her. I told her about it and she chose to believe I was lying.
I’m the kid, not the parent. My mom doesn’t like me. I am certain she loves me, but never wanted kids so having me kind of threw a wrench in things. She got over it enough to raise me, but, as grown women, we don’t have much in common. Our personalities and preferences and goals and dis/likes are total opposites, so we don’t really mesh. She’d never openly admit it, but she wishes I were social and charming and dreamy, like she is. I’m not. We try to get along, the woman gave me life after all, but its tough most of the time.
My mother told me a few years ago that she didn’t like me when I was a kid. I wasn’t a bad kid at all, she just didn’t like me. And I knew it. I remember I once said to my aunt that my mom didn’t like me but that it was okay since I didn’t like her either. I was 5. Of course I loved my mom but pretending not to was the only thing I had come up with. Also, I have a younger brother and he was clearly the sun in her life.
I still had a great childhood, thanks to my dad who loves me enough for both of them and took care of me (best dad ever, really).
When I left for college, we had an intense conversation and she apologized, broke down in tears on my shoulder, it was awful. I learned that day that she went through a bad depression after I was born and only got out of it when she had my brother, but still couldn’t love me. It was so unfair, I didn’t deserve any of this, I was just a baby / little girl.
I know now that I needed it, just so I could forgive her, I needed to hear it but while it was happening I felt nothing and I was terrified that she had ruined me and made me a cold hearted person.
I know I have some issues directly related to the fact that I didn’t have my mother’s love when I was little and that it really messed me up at some point but I’m slowly getting over it.
A few years later, my mom and I are building a great relationship, we actually have a lot in common and enjoy each other’s company, but we’re more like friends, not like mother / daughter.
All I can say is : if you don’t love / like your kid, for whatever reason, and still care about them, juste make sure they don’t know / feel it. Some things can’t be fixed.
These posts shine a light on the real, often unspoken reasons some parents end up resenting their kids. It’s tough stuff but recognizing it is the first step toward healing. So, which of these posts made you pause, nod, or maybe even cringe a little? Did any of them hit close to home or remind you of a moment you’ve experienced? Let us know in the comments, we’d love to hear your thoughts.
Ugh. I could go on and in about this. I love my children the same, I’m sure, but I definitely like my daughter more. My son is eleven and just a jerk. Obnoxious and smart. Just like me so we clash. My daughter is beautiful and hilarious. Just like me. Weird, I know. Her and I are really good friends. Maybe it’s just a girl thing….. Who knows. I know I am my mom’s favorite out of five kids. Ask her. I’m the middle child. You have to love the middle child more. It’s like a law or something.
As a child of a parent who didn’t hide their favor of my sibling over me, I have to say that I believe that all parents are this way and it was only mine that had the courage to be up front about it. In a weird way I respect that parent for never pretending like they loved us all the same. I have no relationship to speak of with this person, but I am glad I didn’t have to live the lie like so many others must be living.
Not a parent, but the favoured child. My mother very obviously preferred me over my sister (she is 5 years older), and it showed, particularly in my teenage years, in my sister’s behaviour. For example, when I started my A Levels she decided she was going to try and do hers again to one up me and get into university before myself. She failed, and just seems resentful of everything I do. I don’t talk to her anymore as she’s turned into an irresponsible jerk who refuses to admit when something is her fault.
My mom hated my sister for years. We moved out when I was in high school because she couldn’t stand living with her. We moved back in just before she turned 18 and then was kicked out.
My mother may love me, but she does not like me. And I couldn’t blame her, considering every choice I have made has consciously been the opposite of the one she made; and I hate myself for it because, while I know it is the right choice not only for myself but so my future children don’t grow up the way I did, knowing that I am wrong and different and disgusting and basically just a burden on the people who made me, it still hurts that I have caused this rift before I even knew the impact my decisions would have on our relationship. I want a mother who wants me, and she wants a daughter who doesn’t blame her for everything. But I don’t know how to fix this because I do blame her. I don’t want to, but I do.
I may not be a mother yet, OP, but i know what it is like to be the child in question, and it hurts.
Thanks for providing some catharsis, OP, I needed to shed a few tears.
Less favored of 2 children here.
My older brother was diagnosed early with ADHD and my parents took that as a mental issue that was out of his control and something they needed to help him with by taking it easy on him and pampering. When I came around and didn’t have the same issues I was stuck with much higher expectations than my “mentally handicapped” brother.
This led to a good amount of tension and problems growing up. I know my parents still care about me in a way of they don’t want to see me out on the street, but its obvious to everyone that my brother has always been treated better and that I’m more tolerated than appreciated.
Extended family like us both equally though.
I’ve been told I’m my dad’s favorite, and I’d believe it. I did really well academically, and have the same kind of quickness with math and tech-stuff that he does. He was also around me more than my half-brother (who lived with his mom) or my sister (who is younger, which makes a difference since my parents’ marriage deteriorated over time to the point where he was never around). This is probably more of the reason rather than inherent qualities, since both my siblings also got his smarts (all three of us have at least a Master’s). That being said…my dad’s a terrible parent. He’s critical and domineering. I was terrified of him growing up, and even now he’ll spew vitriol. I stopped talking to him last year. I wish I could have a relationship with him, but I can’t handle the volatility. So…it doesn’t really matter. My mom gets along better with me. We’re a lot more alike than she and my sister are. However, this does *not* make me her favorite. She loves my sister just as much, is there for her just as much, and is close to her. It’s just in a different way.
Ever since having my son I pushed my daughter away. I have gone to counseling afraid it was some form of depression. I am on antidepressants and have more patience for her but still find her annoying. I think it’s because she’s so much like me and I dislike myself. I try to treat both the children equally. If one gets something the other does. Toys, hugs, etc. I don’t think we’ll ever be as close as we were when she was a toddler and I feel terrible for that. But as long as she never realizes how I honestly feel and doesn’t have jealousy issues against her brother than I guess I’m ok with it.
Not a father, but, I think my stepfather favors me more than his own two daughters (My step-sisters). Growing up, they lived with his ex-wife, but, visited a lot since we lived like 100 miles apart, they were essentially part-time real sisters to me. That said, one of them is successful now has a husband and daugher, has been through college with a stable life. The other one has a messed up life and is just now getting settled down / sorted out.
Growing up and even now, compared to me, they can do no wrong; like. . . he will forgive them for anything, etc. Wait, didn’t I say I thought he prefered me? Yes, I did; despite being the one of the three he holds to the highest standard he also cries a lot when I’m having difficulty in life, is always there to help me, is lenient when he finally realizes I can’t always fix everything wrong with me, he’s raised me since I was a one year old and I see him as my father even though I still call him by his first name. I honestly think the fact he holds me to a higher standard is part of him caring.
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Dominyka Proškėnaitė
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“Indiana, 1987. This is a picture of me and my little sister. We had so much Aqua Net on our hair, if someone lit a match the whole room would have gone up in flames.”
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Team Awkward
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I thought my mattress game was pretty good but it appears there’s a whole other level. submitted by /u/Working-Albatross-19 |
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Meg Adams is the creative mind behind her charming slice-of-life comics. She draws stories about everyday moments—relationships, family, pets, and the little ups and downs of life. Her comics are relatable, often funny, and sometimes touch on serious topics like mental health, self-care, and personal growth.
Meg creates her comics digitally, with a bright and colorful style that makes her characters and stories come alive. She shares her observations of life, inviting readers to laugh, reflect, and connect with the moments majority of us experience.
More info: Instagram | artbymoga.com | Facebook | patreon.com | ko-fi.com
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Hidrėlėy
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Robert R picked up a bug in his company's event scheduling app. Sometimes, events were getting reported a day off from when they actually were.
It didn't take too long to find the culprit, and as is so often the case, the culprit was handling dates with strings.
const dateAsString = event.toISOString().substr(0,10);
return new Date(dateAsString);
toISOString returns a "simplified" ISO8601 string, which looks like this: YYYY-MM-DDTHH:mm:ss.sssZ. The substr pops off the first ten characters, giving you YYYY-MM-DD.
The goal, as you can likely gather, is to truncate to just the date part of a date-time. And given that JavaScript doesn't have a convenient method to do that, it doesn't seem like a terrible way to solve that problem, if you don't think about what date-times contain too hard.
But there's an obvious issue here. toISOString always converts the date to UTC, converting from your local timezone to UTC. Which means when you pick off just the date portion of that, you may be off by an entire day, depending on the event's scheduled time and your local timezone.
This code doesn't simply truncate- it discards timezone information. But for an event scheduler used across the world, tracking timezones is important. You can't just throw that information away.
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Remy Porter
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