ReportWire

Category: Humor

Humor | ReportWire publishes the latest breaking U.S. and world news, trending topics and developing stories from around globe.

  • Our Award Winning Family Photo (Seriously, it won an award)

    Our Award Winning Family Photo (Seriously, it won an award)

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    This is a photo of my mom, my brother, myself, and my soon to be born younger brother. I’m awkwardly in the hockey equipment on the bottom left. A family friend talked mom into having us all pose for this photo. It went on to win some sort of award in a Newport, RI photo show. It also hung in our house while I was growing up, which made for some awkward moments when friends came over.”

    (story submitted by Sean; photo courtesy of Kim Fuller at www.kimfullerphotography.com)

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    Team Awkward

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  • A Mom Is Never Off Duty

    A Mom Is Never Off Duty

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    “I used to get really bad stomach aches that would keep me on the toilet for hours. I would also get really lonely and apparently sleepy. Luckily my mom was there to keep me company.”

    (submitted by IG @_abigailforsyth

    The post 24/7 appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

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    Team Awkward

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  • How To Be The Coolest Baby In 1990

    How To Be The Coolest Baby In 1990

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    “It was 1990 so I guess my parents thought they’d dress me up like a New Wave recording artist.”

    (submitted by IG @genevievegeoghan

    The post Just Can’t Get Enough appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

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    Team Awkward

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  • Justices Expand Supreme Court To 40 Right-Wing Buddies

    Justices Expand Supreme Court To 40 Right-Wing Buddies

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    WASHINGTON—Explaining that the move just made sense given the national importance of their rulings, the six conservative justices announced Friday that they had expanded the U.S. Supreme Court to include 40 of their right-wing buddies. “The Supreme Court is pleased to welcome a few stalwart conservative judges from the circuit courts, a dozen reactionaries from Harvard Law School, and my brother-in-law, an accountant,” said Chief Justice John Roberts, adding that he, along with Samuel Alito, Amy Coney Barrett, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Clarence Thomas, had overruled the court’s three liberal members and sworn in 40 new conservative justices that morning. “We figured Biden or Congress would try to expand the court, given all that’s going on, and we were surprised when they didn’t—but hey, that’s typical Washington gridlock for you. Hanging out with the same nine people all the time is kind of a drag, so we decided to take it upon ourselves to call up the Heritage Foundation and get 15 recommendations. Neil also invited some of his golf buddies, Amy called a couple priests she knows through church, and for diversity, we let a couple of the guys bring their wives. It’ll be nice having Ginni here on the court, for Clarence’s sake. And as a bonus, this should give the Supreme Court a rock-solid right-wing majority that will last until the end of time.” At press time, the Supreme Court had ruled 46-3 to overturn gay marriage.

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  • Tourist Filmed Carving Girlfriend’s Name Into Rome’s Colosseum

    Tourist Filmed Carving Girlfriend’s Name Into Rome’s Colosseum

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    A tourist in Rome was filmed carving his name and the name of his apparent girlfriend into the wall of the famous Colosseum, defacing the nearly 2,000-year-old building. What do you think?

    “Who’s to say their love won’t last another 2,000 years?”

    Vicky Leonard, Punchcard Collector

    “I’m just glad Nero isn’t alive to see this.”

    Samuel Kleiner, Scam Artiste

    “You’re telling me that a monument built by slavery isn’t perfect anymore?”

    Cesar Rahman, Cigarette Scavenger

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  • Mike Luckovich for Jun 30, 2023 – Mike Luckovich, Humor Times

    Mike Luckovich for Jun 30, 2023 – Mike Luckovich, Humor Times

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    Mike Luckovich of the Atlanta Constitution received two amazing honors in 2006, winning both a Pulitzer Prize and the Reuben award for Outstanding Cartoonist of the Year. This was the second Pulitzer for Luckovich; his first was awarded in 1995. He had previously received the Reuben award for Editorial Cartooning in 2001, but this was his first time to be named the overall outstanding cartoonist by a group of his peers. The Reuben awards are distributed each year by the National Cartoonists Society and are considered professional cartooning’s highest honor.

    Impressive as these achievements are, they are only the latest in a long line of awards for Luckovich. He was a runner-up for the Pulitzer in 1987 before garnering the 1995 win.  In 1989, he won the Overseas Press Club’s award for the “Best Cartoons on Foreign Affairs for 1989,” and in 1991, he was awarded the National Headliners award for editorial cartoonists. In 1994, a Luckovich cartoon was selected by voters in a Newsweek magazine poll as one of the four best editorial cartoons of the year.

    After freelancing and selling life insurance to make ends meet following his graduation from the University of Washington in 1982, Luckovich landed his first cartooning job at the Greenville News in South Carolina. After nine months at the News, Luckovich was hired by The Times-Picayune in New Orleans, where he stayed for four years before moving on to Atlanta.

    Luckovich’s cartoons, syndicated nationally by Creators Syndicate, appear in more than 350 daily publications, including The Washington Post,The San Diego Union-Tribune, The Denver Post, Newsday, New York Post, The Cleveland Plain-Dealer, The Dallas Morning News, the Boston Globe, the Seattle Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Nashville Tennessean and the Houston Chronicle, and are reprinted regularly in Time, Newsweek and the New York Times.

    Luckovich and his wife, Margo, have four children. His hobbies include exercising and collecting unique ties.

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    Mike Luckovich

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  • John Deering for Jun 30, 2023 – John Deering, Humor Times

    John Deering for Jun 30, 2023 – John Deering, Humor Times

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    John Deering is chief editorial cartoonist for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, the state’s largest newspaper. Five times a week, his cartoon comments entertain (or sometimes enrage) readers throughout Arkansas, in Washington, D.C., and across the country.

    Winner of the National Press Foundation’s 1997 Berryman Award, Deering also gained top honors in the 1994 national John Fischetti Cartoon Competition and was the seven-time winner of the Arkansas Press Association’s Best Editorial Cartoonist award.

    Deering’s work is collected in two books: Deering’s State of Mind (1990) and We Knew Bill Clinton … Bill Clinton Was a Friend of Ours (1993, with Vic Harville). He is a 14-year member of the American Association of Editorial Cartoonists.

    Born in 1956 in Little Rock, Deering has been drawing since his childhood fascination with science fiction and dinosaurs — subjects he made into comic books. After studying art with Truman Alston, Deering focused on commercial and fine art at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock. Along the way, he found his strength in interlocking art with comment.

    At the Democrat-Gazette, Deering advanced from layout artist to editorial cartoonist in 1981-82. His promotion to chief editorial cartoonist in 1988 made his cartoons the state’s best-known. Deering also creates the comic panel Too Much Coffee.

    He and his wife, Kathy, have a daughter and two sons, and live in Little Rock. He still draws dinosaurs.

    Check out his comic strips, Zack Hill and Strange Brew.

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    John Deering

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  • Andy Marlette for Jun 30, 2023 – Andy Marlette, Humor Times

    Andy Marlette for Jun 30, 2023 – Andy Marlette, Humor Times

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    Born and raised by underpaid public school teachers in Sanford, Fla., Andy Marlette graduated from the University of Florida and became staff editorial cartoonist at the Pensacola News Journal in 2007.

    Marlette received a priceless editorial cartoon education while living with his uncle and Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Doug Marlette in Hillsborough, N.C. Doug’s tragic death in July of 2007 made evermore poignant the elder Marlette’s fierce and faithful devotion to the art form of editorial cartooning as a cornerstone of American free speech. With this in mind, Andy works daily to learn and uphold the disciplines and values passed on to him by his late uncle.

    Andy’s editorial cartoons have become both hated and adored by daily readers. His work has been awarded by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors for best editorial cartoons on state issues and former Governor Charlie Crist referred to himself regularly as Marlette’s biggest fan, despite the fact that he was also regularly a target in cartoons.?  

    Marlette has also illustrated two published children’s books co-authored by Orlando Sentinel sports columnist Mike Bianchi, as well as a recently published children’s book about a carrot-eating dog titled “Harry Loves Carrots.”

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    Andy Marlette

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  • R.I.P tootsie.

    R.I.P tootsie.

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    Just lost my oldest cat tootsie today bros. Some people say they’re just animals ,but they come into your life and bring you love and happiness that they become apart of your family. She was a great cat and i just wanted to show you guys a picture of her. She will be missed. Thanks.

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  • It’s a Gas

    It’s a Gas

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    I am ordinarily ambivalent about submissions of weird
    stuff for sale at Amazon or elsewhere. They aren't great
    Error'd material; they're at worst an error in data. But
    today I'm sharing two with you because they're just so
    ridiculously funny that I think you'll get a kick out of
    them regardless.

    First, venerable member
    The Beast in Black

    wants us to know that "Rubberbands can't fix everything"
    despite this fetching model who would have us believe
    otherwise.
    "PSA: DO NOT DO THIS!" He shouts, "if you're using
    rubberbands to keep the gas tube attached to your AK-pattern rifle,
    you are about to have MUCH bigger problems."


     

    More humorously, pet lover and insect hater
    Roger G. is growing his menagerie.
    "I only wanted the flea treatment but apparently there is the option to get it with a cat!"

    cat

     

    Erstwhile Top
    Dave G. huffs
    "That's Mr. Username to you!
    Good day, <<gender specific salutation>>."

    topcoder

     

    "Would you like the Setup Guide, the Setup Guide, the
    Setup Guide, the Setup Guide, the Setup Guide, or the
    Setup Guide?" repeated perseverant
    Stuart L.
    "In fact, they are all different. There's
    even one for the storage bag this headset comes with!
    Naturally, the very last Setup Guide listed is the
    one for the actual
    headset."

    repeat

     

    Finally, cleverly pseudonymous
    Chasing the Dream

    shared this hated example with us,
    punning it "Password Whoas". I do have
    an entire column of such whoas in the works. Here's
    a teaser. Comments Comrade Chasing,
    "There are two distinct error messages that may occur,
    even though the list on the bottom has green checks. The
    other error message has a little bit more information
    other than unable to save the password.
    It took me twenty
    minutes to find the right combination of characters
    before the system approved and saved the password. If I
    did not have to use Chase for my mortgage, I would not
    voluntarily use their website."

    password

     

    Bon Weekend to you all; I am off to get more cyborg parts.

    [Advertisement]
    BuildMaster allows you to create a self-service release management platform that allows different teams to manage their applications. Explore how!

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    Lyle Seaman

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  • A Reminder To Always Pay Attention To The Signs

    A Reminder To Always Pay Attention To The Signs

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    “My niece’s graduation photo featuring unfortunate sign placement.”

    (submitted by IG @lisamarie656

    The post Class Of 2014 appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

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    Team Awkward

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  • My Aunt and Uncle Teamed Up For This Awkward Gem

    My Aunt and Uncle Teamed Up For This Awkward Gem

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    “This is a photo of my cousin, her brother and dad. She’s not sure exactly where it was taken. Obviously at a lake, and somewhere in Florida. Funny thing is (other than my uncle selecting this boat to pose for a picture with his kids) my aunt was the one taking the pic. My cousin sent this to me saying, “Wouldn’t this be perfect on Awkward Family Photos?” Why, yes. Yes it would.”

    (submitted by Christy)

    The post Oh, Canada appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

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  • Dad Clearly Wanted To Be Anywhere Else

    Dad Clearly Wanted To Be Anywhere Else

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    “Not sure what the photographer said to inspire the smile through the pained expressions on all of us, but Dad is clearly looking for a way out.”

    (submitted by IG @alisongatl)

    The post No Way Out appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

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