Category: Humor

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Validating user input is one of those problems that’s deceptively simple. The actual validation rules tend to be simple to describe: this field should be at least ten characters long, that field should match this regex, this one should be a number. But applying those rules can get cumbersome, especially when you write it yourself.

It can quickly get as thorny and difficult as date handling.

Well, Carole inherited some home-brew validation code. It’s been running in the front-end of a web app for years.

const validateGeneral = async function (importantDataStructure) {
  log.info(`Validating schema for ${importantDataStructure.name} `)
  let errors = []
  try {
    importantDataStructure.importantField === 'onlyThisStringIsAllowed'
      ? null
      : errors.push(' Invalid importantField')
    validations.NAME_VALIDATION.test(importantDataStructure.name)
      ? null
      : errors.push(' importantDataStructure name has invalid characters')
    importantDataStructure.requiredField === undefined
      ? errors.push(' importantDataStructure is missing requiredField')
      : null
    if (errors.length > 0) {
      log.error(`Errors detected for ${importantDataStructure.name} `)
      throw new Error(errors.toString().trim())
    }
  } catch (err) {
    console.log(err)
  }
}

The first hint that there’s something bad here might just be the function name: validateGeneral. That’s not a particularly informative name. The second hint is that the function is marked async, but does nothing asynchronous.

The meat of the function though is the validation rules, all of which are implemented as ternary expressions, but ignoring the expression part. They’re using ternaries for flow control: validationRule ? null : handleError is the basic formula. I’m not certain that I’ve seen this particular abuse of ternaries before. It certainly does an excellent job making the code more complicated and harder to read.

For each failed validation rule, we push the error message into an array. This is already a bad choice, as we’re losing any information about which field caused the failure, making it hard to understand the actual validation rules. But then, once we’re done, we concatenate all the failed rules together into a single output string, so “making the errors easy for the user to understand” goes right out the window.

Which is just as well, since we never show the errors to the user anyway.

If there are errors, we throw them. And then we immediately catch them, and simply log them to the console. The user can’t see them, unless they pull up the developer console.

Carole also did us the favor of digging through the code history, which allows us to understand a little bit more about the weird choices.

The original developer marked the function async, because they wrapped all the ternaries in a Promise.all call- clearly trying to make the obstinately single-threaded JavaScript do some multithreaded validation. It never worked, so they removed the Promise.all call, but not the async.

The function used to throw the errors up the chain (which is its own WTF, since a return value probably makes more sense), but while debugging another developer wrapped it all in the try/catch block. And then they never removed the debugging code, and thus broke the function entirely. It passed code review, testing, and was released to production in that state. If anyone noticed that validations didn’t work, nobody’s reported the problem yet.

Mike Luckovich of the Atlanta Constitution received two amazing honors in 2006, winning both a Pulitzer Prize and the Reuben award for Outstanding Cartoonist of the Year. This was the second Pulitzer for Luckovich; his first was awarded in 1995. He had previously received the Reuben award for Editorial Cartooning in 2001, but this was his first time to be named the overall outstanding cartoonist by a group of his peers. The Reuben awards are distributed each year by the National Cartoonists Society and are considered professional cartooning’s highest honor.

Impressive as these achievements are, they are only the latest in a long line of awards for Luckovich. He was a runner-up for the Pulitzer in 1987 before garnering the 1995 win.  In 1989, he won the Overseas Press Club’s award for the “Best Cartoons on Foreign Affairs for 1989,” and in 1991, he was awarded the National Headliners award for editorial cartoonists. In 1994, a Luckovich cartoon was selected by voters in a Newsweek magazine poll as one of the four best editorial cartoons of the year.

After freelancing and selling life insurance to make ends meet following his graduation from the University of Washington in 1982, Luckovich landed his first cartooning job at the Greenville News in South Carolina. After nine months at the News, Luckovich was hired by The Times-Picayune in New Orleans, where he stayed for four years before moving on to Atlanta.

Luckovich’s cartoons, syndicated nationally by Creators Syndicate, appear in more than 350 daily publications, including The Washington Post,The San Diego Union-Tribune, The Denver Post, Newsday, New York Post, The Cleveland Plain-Dealer, The Dallas Morning News, the Boston Globe, the Seattle Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Nashville Tennessean and the Houston Chronicle, and are reprinted regularly in Time, Newsweek and the New York Times.

Luckovich and his wife, Margo, have four children. His hobbies include exercising and collecting unique ties.

Hollywood’s leading men striding through chaos, fists flying and cars crashing. But what happens when the tables turn, and a petite powerhouse steps up to teach the alpha males a thing or two? Buckle up as we dive into the untold chapter where Harrison Ford crossed paths with Cindy Williams.

Pretty, petite Cindy Williams of Laverne and Shirley and Happy Days Fame. Little would one suspect that Ms. Williams had the moxie to beat on the oversized Harrison Ford, but she did! In the dramatic ending of the now classic film American Graffiti she is seen pounding on the hapless Ford after he has totaled his snazzy sports car in a road racing accident with her as an occupant. Poor Mr. Ford has to suffer two humiliations here- first having his hot car totalled, then getting totalled himself by her.

Of course, in American Graffiti Harrison was in his full blown macho display playing the street cruising arrogant prick Bob Falfa who humiliates all those who come up against him on the streets of Modesto California in 1962. Until the end that is…… at the end he flips the car and, for just a moment, you think they are both trapped in the flaming wreck. Suddenly you see Cindy off to the side pounding Ford viciously (something he has been deserving for a long, long time, may I say), and the world needs to see this!

Although this might seem a trite fact to many, I personally think many Ford fans need to have their noses rubbed in this truth. YOUR MACHO STAR GOT BEAT UP BY A GIRL!!!!!. (Hee, heee, hee! I am relishing this!)

How is that for you, Mr. Whip snapping Indiana Jones? Does that make your face turn red, oh, great blaster of green, rat faced aliens Hans Solo? Mr. Jack Ryan smarty pants?

How will this little tidbit of a WELL DOCUMENTED beating do to your image and your career, Sir Stud A Dud? Maybe you’ll have to do bits on saccharin Hallmark movies from now on (hee, hee, hee!), eh, big guy?????? (Yes, I know, I am a real jerk for doing this…….)

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Satanic News: Mary divorced her husband Joseph of Nazareth when she caught him in bed with another man. That’s when she decided to became a prostitute in the early stage of her son’s life when he was nine years old.

She abandoned her son Jesus and joined a Jerusalem brothel called “The Marching Witches.” They were known to travel from village to village after a village was drained of money.

“Right from the start when I started my new life it was like sucking on a sweet orange, then I decided to make the best orange juice ever, specializing in every imaginable trick,” she continues, “I also lured in more customers by working as a lesbian prostitute helping wrinkled old women,” says Mary.

Mary even claimed that people brought their dogs and horses to get treated- she said it was bats in the belfry!

“I had a pet frog once who passed away,” says Mary. My grandmother, who drank heavily, couldn’t tell me why my frog croaked. The official explanation is that it “jumped to the other side.”

At the age of 67, Mary quit the business. On occasions, she practiced her hand job technique with younger men.

The NCAA March Madness Rules & Policy Committee had been thinking about changing the college basketball tournament from March to May.

The committee stated that the weather would be better for the players, the fans, the cheerleaders, and the beer and hot dog vendors.

The matter went to the Supreme Court and they have now ruled that the college tournament will remain in the month of March.

The vote was 8 to 1, so the balls will continue to be dribbled in the month of March and not in the month of May.

SIDENOTE: After hearing about the ruling one college team, the Cheese State Ice Cats have stated that they may not attend the 2024 March Madness Tournament.

Taylor Swift who has been up on Cloud 9 since she began her intimate relationship with the star of “Hell On Wheels,” Anson Mount reveals that she and Anson are now the proud owners of a new chicken chain.

The new eatery is named The Taylor Swift Old Fashioned Chattanooga Chicken Tenders Diner.

The establishment uses only the finest, home-grown chickens anywhere in the good old USA.

Swift told a reporter with Wild Whispers that the chickens that they use are injected with a special ingredient that not only makes the chicken taste better, but it is also makes it the healthiest chicken of any cluck cluck eatery in the entire nation.

When asked by WW’s Margarita Mixx what the special ingredient was, Tay-Tay simply replied that the name of the ingredient starts with a Q and ends with a Y.

Old Angus McGuiness was absolutely convinced he was he was having the initial signs of a stroke, but with help from a keen 911 operator, he was found to be OK over the phone.

“I called 911 because all the words on the television screen were completely jumbled up—and I couldn’t make any sense of them,” tells 89 year old McGuiness, “Even with my good glasses on.”

“Indeed, the caller thought he was having a stroke,” explained the 911 operator who answered Mr. McGuiness’ call. “So, I asked him to read out some of the words on the telly that were making him think he was having a stroke. Turns out, he was reading the leader board of a women’s professional golf tournament.”

“All those Asian names,” explained a bewildered Angus, “really flipped the ole haggis ball in my cranium.”

Indeed, Mr. McGuiness had never watched women’s golf before and thought it might help him drop off to sleep in his favorite chair, due to a back spasm that kept him from making it upstairs to bed.

The dispatcher, being a fan of women’s golf, was praised by her manager for knowing that the words Mr. McGuiness was reading from his TV were all names of Asian players, taking the first full 25 positions in the U.S. golf tournament.

“Then, the caller got down to position number 26 in the tournament, and it was Brooke Henderson,” the dispatcher told. “Oh boy, was he ever happy to see a name that made any sort of sense to him. He had a real moment, knowing he was going to be able live a normal life.

“Wow,” said Mr. McGuiness, when asked of that euphoric realization with the young dispatcher. “Who the hell knew Asian women were so damn good at golf?! You know, golf was invented right here in Scotland. The ball used to be made out of leather. Ye know that?”